November 7, 2025 • 52 mins
Are you a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth? You’re in the right place!
In this episode, we discuss:
- Cathy's Second Birth Story, an unplanned Freebirth on her way from Lubec to Ellsworth Hospital
- Hear Cathy's First Birth Story recorded when she was 37 weeks pregnnat in Episode 121 of MyMaine Birth
- The benefits of doula support
- ….and a whole lot more!
Additional Resources you’ll LOVE…
If you are ready to prepare for an autonomous birth experience, where you’re respected as the authority over your body and your baby… regardless of where you plan on birthing -
CLICK HERE for 10% off the MyAutonomous Birth self-paced, online course!
Not sure where to start? I’ve got you covered! Check out my FREE resource, 37 Questions to Ask Your Care Provider. Whether you’re interviewing new providers or have already established care, this FREE resource offers guidance on important topics to discuss with your provider.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cathy (00:00):
Once we were in the car, my husband was like, I thought
you said that these were likenine minutes apart.
He's like, They're like threeminutes apart.
And I was like, shut up andjust drive faster.
I had not anticipated like thatthey could like contractions
come so much more quickly afteryour water breaks.
And I wasn't expecting my waterto break right before like the
second I walked out the door.
So they were, they were likecoming a lot faster and like
(00:22):
very uncomfortable in the car atthis point, right?
Like I had my seatbelt on thatcame off in like a second.
I was in the passenger seat,like holding on to the little
handrail above me.
I couldn't like move to theback seat because we had both
car seats in the back seat ofour car.
So it was just like just likesquat and standing on the front,
like trying to get comfortable.
But like I was having prettyintense contractions at that
(00:45):
point, you know, screaming,like, I want to go home, take me
home.
You know, my son's like, I'mgonna just keep driving, even
though you're staying that.
You know, I was like, okay, youknow, it was kind of funny, but
also it was just like it wasit's not a very can't move, and
so like that's just like not themost ideal in place.
Angela (01:03):
It's a really long ride.
So, like, how long is the ridefrom Lubeck to Ellsworth?
Like, that's far still.
Cathy (01:10):
Yeah, it takes us about two hours.
I mean, luckily it's like youknow, 1:30 in the morning.
So my husband's like whippingit down there, but yeah, it
takes about two hours for us toget there.
So I was like, okay, you know,this will be fun.
And I think we had gotten tothe point where we were supposed
to meet Leanne.
And so my husband started tolike slow down.
He's like, I don't see your carin there.
(01:31):
And I was like, Kate, drive.
I was like so mad.
I was like, do not slow thiscar down.
And he's like, Okay, I'll justcall her and tell her that we're
gonna keep driving.
And he didn't like that, wentthrough the car speaker, you
know, because it's on Bluetooth.
And she was like, No, no, I seeyou guys.
I'll just hop in right behindyou.
Like, don't worry, just keepgoing.
And then I had like a hugecontraction, like while we were,
(01:52):
while she was on the phone.
And she was like instantly wentinto like a wonderful
supportive mode and was liketalking me through it while
while in the while in her car,following our car.
And then we um turned on theBlackwoods Road.
So if people aren't familiar,there's kind of like two ways
for us to get to Ellsworth.
One's like Blackwoods, or youcan stay on Route One and like
go through Melbridge.
And my husband had before, hehad asked, which way do I go?
(02:15):
And I was like, Oh, we alwaystake the Blackwoods Road.
It's faster.
Probably like 10 minutesfaster.
It's not like that much faster.
And again, like at two in themorning, you could probably go
equally the other way.
But we went that way.
And Leanne told me later thatshe was like, Oh, after you had
that huge contraction, and thenwe turned that direction, she
was like, Oh, this is this isrisky going that way.
(02:36):
There's no cell phone serviceon that road.
But we went that way.
And the next contraction I hadwas like not vocal at all.
It was kind of like that, likedeep, like, mmm, like I okay.
And I was like, in my brain, Iwas like, Yep, I'm ready to
push.
I'm gonna start pushing.
And then my brain was like, Ishould tell them that I'm
pushing.
And I was like, hmm, I'm justgonna work through this.
(02:57):
Like, I was just like, okay, Ireally need to like it was just
hard.
You're like not really, youdon't have the words then to
like communicate.
And so eventually I was like tomy husband, I think I was like,
I'm pushing, I'm pushing now.
And he was like, okay, I'lljust pull over and ask me Ann if
you should do that.
And I was like, there's no likeshould I like there's like I am
doing, like the baby is coming.
Angela (03:20):
I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced dual, child birtheducator, and your host here on
the My Maine Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine.
From our state's biggesthospitals to birth center births
(03:40):
and home births.
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a State-to-Baymom, a seasoned mother, or
simply interested in the worldof birth, these episodes are for
you.
Welcome back.
If you're listening to episode135 of My Main Birth.
(04:01):
Today's birth story guest isKathy, and Kathy shared her
first birth story back inepisode 121 of the podcast.
So go check that out to hearthe first part of her story.
And today she is back to shareher second birth story, which
involved her midwife abandoningher on her due date.
(04:22):
She decided to fly out of townfor the weekend.
And Kathy went on to free birthin her car in the middle of the
night, somewhere in the woodsof down east Maine, where there
was no cell phone service.
Fortunately, Kathy wasn'tcompletely alone.
She was supported by heramazing duela, Leanne, who also
was on this podcast.
(04:43):
She shared her birth storiesback in episode one.
So shout out to Leanne forbeing there for Kathy throughout
both of her pregnancies andbirths.
All right, let's get into it.
Hi, Kathy.
Welcome back to My Main Birth.
Hi.
So to get started, when we leftoff before, you had shared a
(05:04):
little bit about your secondpregnancy.
You were 37 weeks into it whenyou were on in episode 121.
But for maybe anyone thathasn't heard that episode, would
you start by sharing how youfound out you were pregnant for
the second time and what yourthoughts were in choosing your
care?
Sure.
Cathy (05:23):
So my husband and I, we live down in Louis Beck.
And so we had our son, uh,which was great, when we always
wanted to have two kids.
But after my first pregnancy,like I hated being pregnant.
So I was like, I don't think Iever want to do that again.
But it was like our dream toalways have two kids.
So when we decided that we weregonna like eventually we're
(05:43):
like, okay, we can do this,we'll go through the pregnancy
again.
It'll be fine.
Maybe it'll be different,right?
Maybe it'll be fine.
So we decided we'll go for it.
We wanted them to be close inage, they're two years apart,
and that's how far we are apartfrom our siblings.
So we're like, that's what wealways wanted.
So we're like, we'll rip thisband aid off, so to speak, and
like go for it the second time.
Um, and I think it took usthree months to get pregnant the
(06:05):
second time around, which waspretty quick again.
So that was really cool.
And for care wise, we decidedto go with the same thing that
we did the first time.
So um we used a midwife inMachias.
She has her own little umbirthing suite and center right
there in Machias.
So that's really great.
It kind of gave us that likehome birth experience, but in a
(06:25):
controlled setting, more orless.
We really liked it, you know,like we had our son, but like
within four hours, we were stillout of there, you know, back
home.
It was just, it was perfect forus.
So we wanted to do that again.
And she did move locations, butit was the same setup.
So we were like, that soundsgreat.
We'll do that again.
Um, we also had a doula thefirst time around, and my
(06:47):
husband was like, we don't needa duel again, we we're pros now.
And I was like, wait a minute.
You know, I so we uh we talkedabout Leanne.
We loved her the first time,she's absolutely fabulous.
You know, we went through herbirth classes, everything was
really great.
But um, you know, I was like tomy husband, like some of the
things I remembered from myfirst birth was just like
Leanne's presence there was justlike so calming to me.
(07:09):
So um, you know, like everyoneelse there, it was like it was
only the midwife and her uhnurse assistant, and then Leanne
and my husband and me, ofcourse, you know, checking on me
or checking on the baby, likedoing the things that had to be
done.
And Leanne's voice was justlike more like you got this, not
like I need this from you, butit was more like you got this,
you can do this.
It was just absolutely what Iremember as one of the most
(07:31):
supportive things during myfirst birth.
So I had told my husband, I waslike, I I want Leanne again,
just in, you know, just for thatfeeling, which is so wonderful.
And then there's always likethis like what if scenario, you
know.
So I was like, I also wantAbdula for just like what if
something of our plan likedoesn't happen the way that we
envision it.
And he was like, okay, go aheadand text her, like get her on.
(07:52):
And so we had her again.
So it was kind of the same,same care setup just two years
later.
Angela (07:58):
Amazing.
Oh my goodness.
So was it early on in yourpregnancy when you kind of like
set up your whole team, youdecided to call Leanne in?
Yeah, it's like right away.
Yeah, right away.
Yep, definitely.
Awesome.
So, how were you feelingthroughout this pregnancy?
Like emotionally, physically?
Cathy (08:17):
Yeah.
And so I think I was on the thefirst time I was on the
podcast, I was about 36 weeks,but I'll I'll kind of recap
that.
But it was again like thereason I wasn't sure I wanted to
be pregnant a second time isbecause my first pregnancy, I
was nauseous like the wholetime.
And that was my big fear again.
And I totally was.
I was even more, I didn't evenknow it was possible to be even
(08:38):
more nauseous than I was thefirst time.
And it was like I wasn'teating, I wasn't drinking.
And so for about like the firsttwo trimesters, I was getting
IV fluids to just like havesomething going through my body,
and it was just it was a reallydifficult time because we
didn't know if that would end.
Like it lasted the whole, thewhole time, the first pregnancy.
(09:00):
And now it was like I feel evenworse.
And I have a one and a halfyear old running around that's
just like mama, mama, and like Ican't give him that attention
that I so wanted to, and it wasjust like, so it was definitely
there were times that I feltsad, you know, I like very much
was excited to be pregnant, butit was just really challenging.
But luckily, it did go awaythis time.
(09:23):
So that was great.
The nauseous, you know, thatfeeling it went away after a
while, and then I got into liketowards the end of the third
trimester, what you wouldpicture as like stereotypic,
like, give me the doublecheeseburgers, I can eat for two
now.
Like very much excited.
So that was a shift, and Iloved it.
It just took a while to getthere.
Um, the big thing that kind ofhappened throughout this
pregnancy was at the anatomyscan.
(09:44):
So around, I think that's like22 weeks, 20 weeks, I can't
remember.
But um, a couple things came upduring that.
So the they flagged her forhigh drops, which is like some
kind of like swelling of chestfluids, and that made us so that
was at um the MachayasHospital, Downy's Community
Hospital in Machayas is where Ihad my ultrasound.
(10:06):
And and so we got referred toNorthern Light in Bangor for
like a follow-up, and we wentthere and the high drops thing
like quickly resolved.
They were like, we don't, butum, she was still super small,
and they also then had anotherthing come up with like some
kind of shadow on her heart,which also eventually resolved
itself.
She had two small littlepinholes in her heart, little
VSDs is what they're called, butum, they turned out to be
(10:29):
nothing.
We had like a follow-up acouple weeks ago, and that
they're all gone now.
So that was really great.
But the biggest thing was likeshe was small and like really
tiny.
And so they wanted like allthese extra growth scans and
ultrasounds like throughout thewhole pregnancy.
And I talked about this thefirst time I was on the podcast,
and it just the that likereally weighed on me to just
like help all these extraappointments.
(10:49):
Like a lot of people are like,Oh, it's so cool you to see your
baby all the time.
And I'm like, I guess, yeah.
I mean, it is nice, but it'salso just like I felt like it
was just not needed, like, youknow, especially because I
wasn't getting in thosenutrients like the you know, in
the first couple of trimesters,is like she's small, but like I
expect that, like she will be abigger and she was growing.
Like every time I went, she wastracking fine, just just tiny.
(11:12):
Um, and so I ended up cancelinga lot of the ones towards the
end because I just kind of gotfed up with it.
I was like, no, I feelconfident that she is growing
and it is fine.
And I was so much happier onceI did that.
So yeah, so I think thatbrought me that would bring me
like right up to about 37 weeks,which is which is when I was on
the podcast the first time.
Angela (11:30):
Yeah.
So when you first started withyour midwife this time in the
beginning, did she let you knowthat she might be on vacation
around the time of your duedate?
Cathy (11:41):
No, yeah, yeah.
So that's something like, yeah,it was very interesting.
And I'll kind of like get intothat whole situation because it
caught me completely off guard.
And it was the one thing, like,you know, to find out that your
midwife is gonna go on vacationon leave on your due date is
kind of like, whoa, that's athat's a just a shock, you know.
(12:02):
And if I had known earlier, Idon't know when she booked her
vacation, I never asked.
But if I had known earlier,like maybe I could have found a
midwife that would be willing todo a home birth, or I could
have maybe switched to adifferent birthing center.
Um, but to find out so late inthe game was definitely
something that added a lot ofstress to those last couple of
weeks for sure.
(12:22):
Well, last couple of daysreally.
Angela (12:25):
Oh my gosh.
Wow.
So when did you find out umthat she was gonna be leaving?
Cathy (12:30):
Yeah, so I think it was like, you know, 37 weeks.
Um we were totally ready forthe baby because my first came
at 37 weeks.
So, like this time around, wewere like totally ready to go.
We're like, we're we're like,you know, house is totally
clean, car seats in the car, allmy snacks were packed and
everything.
Like 37 weeks came, 38 weekscame, still no baby, nothing.
(12:51):
Eating the snacks, like I gottarestock.
I totally like, I think Ibought my my snacks like five
times because I ate them so manytimes.
I was like, Well, but I atethose yesterday, I'll have to
buy them all over again.
And like every day my husband'slike, should we like re-clean
the should we re-clean thehouse?
And I was like, I don't know atthis point, like this baby, you
know, it's funny because likeat 38 weeks, you could still
have weeks to go.
(13:12):
We were just anticipatingbecause our first came so early,
just like on his own, thatwe're like, oh, we're we'll
probably have another earlybaby.
But it didn't work out that itjust didn't happen that way.
I mean, it's only one littledata point to compare it to, so
it's you know, obviously umwasn't something significant.
Like we were like, yeah, it'sprobably great that she's still
(13:32):
in there.
Everyone's so concerned thatshe's small, so she's just
growing more, right?
So, but I guess it's probablyfor the best anyway.
But yeah, so 37, 38 weeks cameand went.
I didn't really have any signsthat, you know, I think I was
like a little bit extra crampy,but they were not like
consistent cramps.
They never, like, you know, ifI moved, they like went away.
It was like nothing to be likeconcerned about at all.
(13:54):
So 30, 39 weeks.
So it would have been 39 weekson a Friday, and I had an
appointment scheduled for thefollowing Thursday.
So that actually would havebeen like one day before I was
before my due date.
And that Tuesday, so 39 weekson Friday, Tuesday, my midwife
office.
Can you come in today?
(14:15):
You know, your appointment's onThursday, but do you mind
coming in today on Tuesday?
And I was like, Yeah, I'm notdoing anything, I'm just waiting
for a baby.
So yeah, I don't mind likesinging by.
And it was like a very uh,like, you know, started off as a
very like routine appointment.
Like got in, the nurse weighedme, you know, checked my bottle,
you know, those kinds ofthings.
And as she was about to leaveto go get the midwife, she was
like, Um, Jarnie can do uh likea cervical check and a membrane
(14:38):
sweep if you want.
And I was like, Oh, I honestlyhaven't thought about that
because it wasn't something, itwas such a different lead up
with my first, right?
Like it was like my waterbroke, I lost my mucus plug, a
few hours later hadcontractions, a few hours later
had a baby.
So like these weren't reallythings that I ever experienced
with my first.
So when she was like, Yeah, youcan have a membrane sweep
today, I was like, Well, Ihaven't even really thought of
(15:00):
that.
You know, I'm only 39 weeks.
And she was like, Okay, well,think best because Johnny's
coming in.
And I was like, Oh, okay, well,thanks.
So I was like, I think she wasjoking, but it was still like it
just like caught me kind of offguard.
And so when my midwife came in,you know, we did a lot of like
the normal chit-chatting that wehad always do when we have an
appointment.
And she started to talk a lotabout how the Machias hospital
(15:23):
was on deferment so that theyweren't taking any labors.
And I was like, Yeah, cool, butyou know I don't want to have a
baby in the hospital, you know,like she knew that about me.
Um, and then so eventually shecame out with it that she was
like, Well, actually, like Ihave vacation planned for this
weekend.
And I was like, Oh, okay.
And so it was just like, itdefinitely like just like caught
(15:45):
me completely off guard.
She's like, Yes, I'll be gone.
It was the holiday weekend, soLabor Day weekend.
So she would have been gone forthe whole long weekend, like
leaving on Friday, which was mydue date, all the way through
Monday.
And so, since the MachiasHospital would be on deferment,
my next option would be to godown to Ellsworth, which is
about two hours for me to gothat far.
So we were kind of chattingabout that.
(16:05):
And she's like, I know youprobably don't want to do a
membrane sweep or anythingtoday.
And I was like, Yeah, Idefinitely don't.
You know, I look at that askind of like a form of
intervention, which I didn'tfeel like I needed, especially
at only 39 weeks.
There was just like no reasonto do that, or at least that's
what I was thinking.
Angela (16:22):
Especially since you was like leaving and you didn't
want a birth in the hospital.
Cathy (16:26):
Right, exactly.
Yeah, and there there is likeshe she is a on-call midwife for
Ellsworth.
So throughout the wholepregnancy, there was a small
chance that she was like, if I'mever on call, like or at
Ellsworth and you go into labor,like you might have to come
there anyway.
So I always had that like kindof in the back of my mind.
But we've talked that through,like, well, even if I go to
(16:49):
Ellsworth, she would be theperson delivering my baby.
And like she was, she knew Iwanted like the home birth, you
know, birthing center kind ofvibe.
And she was like, you know, Iwould discharge you early.
Like it would, like, we wouldwe would treat it like that,
just be at a different locationthan we had planned.
But now this scenario is likeshe's gonna be gone.
So I would be going to a placeI wasn't familiar with.
(17:11):
Like, I I've obviously been toEllsworth, but I was like, I
don't even know where thehospital is.
I was like, I'll have to Googlethat, you know, like it's like
a place I've never been withpeople I've never met before,
right?
So I was like, this is like atotally just like different
situation than like what I wouldlike have expected to do.
And like, so it definitelycaught me off guard.
And I wasn't like mad at her,but I was like very disappointed
(17:33):
and frustrated because it'slike I understand that like
birth workers, like theysacrifice so much for us, right?
They're always on call.
And it was really great thatlike she did decide to open her
practice here in Chayas, whichlike allowed me to have my first
in a you know in a nicebirthing suite, and then also
like go through my wholepregnancy with my second there
(17:54):
and not have to go through thehospital or drive like two hours
to Bangor to have somethingsimilar.
So it's like I'm soappreciative of that.
But like to find out three daysbefore my due date that like my
plan could change, it was justthat was just like frustrating.
I was like, I want you to fillyour cap, but like, do you have
to do it on my weekend?
You know, like you know, it'sjust like very much like, oh,
(18:16):
this is just so frustrating.
And so, like, I don't think Iasked a lot of questions,
really.
I had because I was just like,okay, you're gonna leave.
And then she was like, Well, Ido have insurance for my trip.
So she's like, if you're souncomfortable, like I won't, I
won't go.
Um, she was like, but she wasreally assistant.
She was like, I'd love to gobefore I, you know, decide if
I'm gonna go.
(18:37):
She's like, I really want to doa surgical check on you that
will help me decide if I go ornot.
And I was like, okay, well, I'mgonna do that today.
And so we kind of just leftwith like being like, we'll chat
more over the next couple ofdays.
This was Tuesday, she'ssupposed to leave on Friday.
She's like, well, why don't wejust like schedule you to come
back in on Thursday?
Maybe we could do a check then.
(18:57):
And she was like, think aboutit over the next couple of days.
And it was just like myunderstanding of that.
And I think I went home andcalled Leanne either that night
or the next day to be like, isthis, does this check, right?
Like a cervical check couldmean nothing, right?
It's like, you know, I was kindof bouncing that off, Leanne as
my dual.
Like, you could be dilated andit would still mean like you
could have hours or not dilatedat all, and like have a baby in
(19:20):
hours.
So I was like, and Leanne waslike, Yep, yep, that totally,
that totally checks out.
So what a why did Lily Jarnywant that?
And I was like, you know, Ididn't really ask because I
think I was just distractedduring the appointment.
Because it was just like, youknow, at that point, it was just
like, yeah, okay, this is gonnabe totally different than what
I had envisioned for my birth.
So totally caught off guard,but yeah.
Angela (19:42):
Yeah, that's kind of unprofessional to not tell you
when you're as her client, youknow, as the midwifery model,
like you're one-on-one withwomen, and it's you know, that
relationship is, you know, it'sso important.
And then to be like, oh, am Igonna go?
Am I not gonna go?
Like, that's a lot of pressureon you, feeling like already
pregnant, already pressure,like, oh, should I make her stay
home from her vacation?
Like, or not, like that's thatmust have been sad.
Cathy (20:04):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Because you know, I was like,okay, well, the baby hasn't come
yet.
I would feel so bad if I'mlike, don't go, and then like
the whole weekend happens and Istill don't have a baby, right?
I was like, there was no sign,like I there was nothing, like I
was like a little crampy, but Iwas like, there was no signs up
to that point that I could havea baby, but my first just like
happened so quickly.
So, like that that couldhappen, you know.
(20:26):
Every day that I had a littlecramp, like while I was washing
dishes or something, I'd belike, Oh, is this maybe this
will turn into like a realcontraction, you know?
It's like kind of that funnyfeeling where you're like, I'm
totally ready to meet you, baby.
But then you're also like, oh,wait, I'm about to do like the
hardest thing I've ever donebefore again, right?
It's like this like funny, likewaiting period where you're
like excited, but you're also alittle nervous.
(20:48):
So it was like, yeah, there wasno real signs.
So it was definitely like, Idon't want to say don't go, but
I also like built thisrelationship with you.
And like, yeah, so overall itwas definitely like kind of a
frustrating experience, but wedecided that we would just like
keep talking over the nextcouple of days, and so I think
Wednesday, the next day, Istarted to lose like a little
(21:11):
bit of mute of mucus of my mucusplug, just like a tiny bit,
like every time I was going tothe bathroom, there was some
there.
And again, I think I wastalking to Leanne about that.
She's like, Yeah, she's like,that's that could be a sign, but
like people's mucus plugs canlike grow back all the time.
So she's like, that doesn'tnecessarily mean you're gonna
have the baby soon.
And I was like, oh, okay.
So um Thursday, the day that mymidwife had wanted me to come
(21:32):
back in, she actually got calledto Ellsworth to deliver a baby.
So she was like, never mind,don't come in today, but maybe
tomorrow morning.
Like, she's like, I'm I'msupposed to fly out Friday
night.
Maybe you can come in Fridaymorning and do a check.
She was like so insistent onwanting to do a cervical check.
And I was just like, Okay, likejust like I don't know.
I just like didn't really feellike I wanted to do it, but she
(21:53):
was like so insistent about it.
I don't know, again, it wasjust like putting me in this
like kind of weird place.
But yeah, Friday morning I wokeup and it was my due date.
Yay! Like that was exciting,right?
I couldn't believe I made itthat far.
I thought at that point maybeI'd already have like a
three-week old, right?
That's what I had with myfirst.
So it was kind of exciting tomake it all the way to my due
(22:13):
date.
But I did go right in and justkind of meet with her, meet with
my midwife.
And we chatted a lot about likewhat it what it's like at the
Machias Hospital, like who themidwives are there, because I've
never met them, and like, youknow, like do they is there a
tub option?
Like those kinds of things,just to kind of like start to
get into that mindset.
And I did let her do a cervicalcheck and I was dilated out of
(22:36):
one, I think it was, and likeyeah, there was like no real
sign.
She was like, okay, I I don'tthink you're gonna have this
baby this weekend.
And I was like, okay.
So she's like, I think I'll goon my trip.
And I was like, okay, I'm youknow, I'm not gonna say you
can't go, you're an adult too,you know.
So I was just like, okay, I'mjust gonna get in this mindset
that like my new plan, you know,hopefully the baby would stay
(23:00):
all weekend and I would be ableto like have the birth that I
kind of visioned at that birthcenter.
But I was like, if not, I justgotta like wrap my head around
like this weekend, Ellsworth itis, and this is why I was
actually so happy that I askedLeanne to be my dual again.
Because I was like, all right,this is the what if.
Like, I have a doula, she'll atleast be there.
You know, Leanne has supportedbirth down at Ellsworth before.
(23:23):
So she was comfortable withthat setting, and she's like, I
know what you want, like this isgreat, it'll be fine.
And so it made me just like sohappy that I was like, Yes, I
definitely want a doula for thesecond time around, because that
what if happened, and so it waslike, okay, yeah.
So it was yeah, so that's wherewe got.
That was Friday, my due date.
Angela (23:43):
Yeah, yeah, and then let's see.
So she was there to step in andjust be with you when you were
alone for that week.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cathy (23:55):
Cause you know, I thought about it, like I was like,
well, maybe I I could switch tolike have a home birth or
something, but it's like, who doyou who are we gonna call up
and be like, hi, like I'm duetoday?
Any chance you wanna like cometo my house all the way in Lou
Bat, right?
Like it was too late to likepivot to a new plan.
So it was kind of like, okay,Ellsworth it is like this is
what we're gonna do, you know.
(24:15):
So it's just like okay, and mymidwife's practice is so small.
Like, I asked her, like, do youhave a backup midwife that you
use?
And she's like, No, I don't.
And I was like, Oh, I was like,You should you should consider
that in the future, right?
So at least I could have stillbirthed there, but she was like,
No, I don't, you know, I Iasked her, like, could you open
the birthing center to likeanother midwife?
And she's like, No, I don't dothat.
(24:36):
So I was like, okay.
So it was like it wasunfortunate, but I was like,
okay, let's just switch themindset.
We're having the baby at thehospital, let's Google a little
bit about that.
What is that gonna be like, youknow?
So yeah.
Um, but we were hoping she'dstay in, but let's see.
So Saturday morning, I woke up,I think about 3 a.m.
(24:56):
to go to the bathroom, and Ihad like a lot of bright red
blood that, you know, when Iwent to the bathroom.
And that was again like anothersign that I was like, oh, this
isn't something that I'veexperienced before.
So um I called my midwife onvacation and I was like, yeah,
this is happening.
You know, she said I could callher, text her while she was
gone.
I was like, great, I'm gonna dothat.
(25:16):
Um, and you know, I text her toher pictures and she's like,
yeah, that's your like bloodyshow.
So like just like keep resting.
But she's like, probably doesmean the baby's gonna come
sooner than later, but like justrest and like try to stay off
your feet, try to keep her inthere until I get back.
And I was like, okay, like Ican't control that, but I'll
try.
So like all day Saturday, I waslike much more uncomfortable,
and my like the crampycontractions were starting to
(25:39):
get like a little bit moreintense, but they still were not
getting in like any kind oflike regular pattern or anything
like that.
Um, my husband was like, Areyou gonna call Leanne today?
And I was like, No, I feel likewe're close, but I still don't
feel like it's the day yet.
So Saturday came and went, andthen Sunday, uh like throughout
that day, like everything wasstarting to like, okay, like now
(26:01):
these contractions are startingto get a little bit more
intense.
They still like throughout theday, no real pattern, but I was
just like way more uncomfortablethan I had been the last couple
of days.
And so I like told my husband,I was like, okay, I'm thinking,
I think it today might be theday.
So I was like, let's make surewe're all packed, like re get my
snacks for me, you know, likelet's get all those things
(26:21):
together.
I think I did text Leanne thatI was like, hey, like today
could be it.
She's like, hey, I'll be ready.
Um, my parents had come intotown that day because they were
coming up, you know, to supportour family once the baby was
born.
So they were arriving that day.
My dad kept asking for weeksbefore, like, is the baby here
yet?
I'm like, Dad, please.
It's I don't know why people dothat.
(26:42):
Like, obviously, we will tellyou when our baby arrives.
The people that constantly arelike, is your baby here yet?
It's like, clearly, I'm stillpregnant.
It's a very funny thing to askus at towards the end.
It's just, yeah.
But anyway, so that Sunday, somy parents arrived that day, and
everything was just getting alittle bit more like, okay, I
think around nine o'clock, I waslike, I'm gonna go lay down,
(27:03):
like get ready for bed.
But by then, there wasdefinitely like a regular
pattern was happening with mycontractions.
So I kind of like, I never wentto bed.
I just kind of like laid therewith my little app on my phone
that was like monitoring howclose together the contractions
were.
And I think around 9 p.m.
they were like 12, 12 minutesapart.
And they, but every hour, likea one minute would shave off.
(27:25):
So I was like doing the math inmy head, like, okay, I have to
get all the way to Ellsworth,but I was like so comfortable in
my own bed.
It was just like so, like noone was bothering me.
It was like such a peacefultime, you know.
Every now and then my husbandwould roll over and he's like,
You're doing great.
And I'm like, Thanks.
You know, it was just likereally, it was just like really
calm and peaceful.
And I was like, man, I shouldjust like have the baby here,
(27:46):
but not ready for that at all.
So I think I was like in mybrain, I was like, okay, I leave
when the contractions are likeeight or nine minutes apart.
That should, that should giveme enough time to get down to
Ellsworth.
Um, but I think a little after12:30, I had like this bigger
one that it almost felt like shejust like kicked, like punched
me in the stomach.
(28:07):
I was like, wow, I didn't haveto do that, baby.
I was like, that was like sointense.
So I think I told my husband, Iwas like, all right, that one
was a little different.
Maybe we should like get readyto go.
So I had woke my mom up and Itold her, like, you're on
toddler duty, like, we're gonnaleave for the hospital now.
So like have her there in casemy son woke up.
But and we had everythingready.
And then, like, I was like, allright, let me just pee real
(28:28):
quick before I go.
And so I went to go pee andlike my water broke like a huge
gush over the toilet.
And I was like, Oh my god, mywater broke.
My but my husband was like, Iheard that.
Like he was in the other room.
He was like, I heard it.
And I was like, Oh wow, okay,like good thing we're leaving.
So that was great.
And then um, we had calledLeanne and we told her we were
gonna leave.
She um lives in Columbia Falls,which is like in between here
(28:50):
and and Ellsworth.
So she's like, I'll meet you atfour corners at the grocery
store there, and then I'll justfollow you the rest of the way.
So we had kind of arrived atthe same time.
I was like, okay, that soundsgood.
And then once we were in thecar, my husband was like, I
thought you said that these werelike nine minutes apart.
He's like, they're like threeminutes apart.
And I was like, shut up andjust drive faster.
I had not anticipated like thatthey could like contractions
(29:14):
come so much more quickly afteryour water breaks.
And I wasn't expecting my waterto break right before like the
second I walked out the door.
So they were, they were likecoming a lot faster and like
very uncomfortable in the car atthis point, right?
Like I had my seatbelt on thatcame off in like a second.
I was in the passenger seat,like holding on to the little
handrail above me.
I couldn't like move to theback seat because we had both
(29:37):
car seats in the back seat ofour car.
So it was just like just likesquatting, standing on the
front, like trying to getcomfortable.
But like I was having prettyintense contractions at that
point, you know, screaming,like, I want to go home, take me
home.
You know, my son's like, I'mgonna just keep driving, even
though you're staying that.
You know, I was like, okay, uh,you know, it was kind of funny,
(29:58):
but also it was just like itwas a Not a very can't move, and
so like that's just like notthe most ideal in its place,
long ride.
Angela (30:06):
So, like, how long is the ride from Lubeck to
Ellsworth?
Like, that's far still.
Cathy (30:12):
Yeah, it takes us about two hours.
I mean, luckily, it's like youknow, 1:30 in the morning, so my
husband's like whipping it downthere, but yeah, it takes about
two hours for us to get there.
So I was like, okay, you know,this will be fun.
And I think we had gotten tothe point where we were supposed
to meet Leanne.
And so my husband started tolike slow down.
He's like, I don't see your carin there.
(30:32):
And I was like, Gabe, drive.
I was like so mad.
I was like, do not slow thiscar down.
And he's like, Okay, I'll justcall her and tell her that we're
gonna keep driving.
And he didn't like that, wentthrough the car speaker, you
know, because it's on Bluetooth.
And she was like, No, no, I seeyou guys.
I'll just hop in right behindyou.
Like, don't worry, just keepgoing.
And then I had like a hugecontraction, like while we were,
(30:53):
while she was on the phone.
And she was like instantly wentinto like a wonderful
supportive mode and was liketalking me through it while
while in the while in her car,following our car.
And then we um turned on theBlackwoods Road.
So if people aren't familiar,there's kind of like two ways
for us to get to Ellsworth.
One's like Blackwoods, or youcan stay on Route One and like
go through Melbridge.
And my husband had before, hehad asked, which way do I go?
(31:16):
And I was like, Oh, we alwaystake the Blackwoods Road.
It's faster, probably like 10minutes faster.
It's not like that much faster.
And again, like at two in themorning, you could probably go
equally the other way.
But we went that way.
And Leanne told me later thatshe was like, Oh, after you had
that huge contraction, and thenwe turned that direction, she
was like, Oh, this is this isrisky going that way.
(31:37):
There's no cell phone serviceon that road.
But we went that way, and thenext contraction I had was like
not vocal at all.
It was kind of like that, likedeep, like, mmm, like I okay.
And I was like, in my brain, Iwas like, Yep, I'm ready to
push.
I'm gonna start pushing.
And then my brain was like, Ishould tell them that I'm
pushing.
And I was like, hmm, I'm justgonna work through this.
(31:58):
Like, I was just like, okay, Ireally need to like it was just
hard.
You're like not really, youdon't have the words then to
like communicate.
And so eventually I was like,to my husband, I think I was
like, I'm pushing, I'm pushingnow.
And he was like, Okay, I'lljust pull over and ask Leanne if
you should do that.
And I was like, There's no likeshould I like there's like I am
doing like the baby is coming,and so they pulled over, and
(32:22):
Leanne had come to the passengerside door, and she's like, Do
you go ahead?
Like, just feel out there, youcan check and I was just like
clutchy onto the back of thecar, like to the seat, and I was
just like holding on and likesquatting over the passenger
seat, and I was like, Oh, Icannot.
I was like, I knew she wasright there.
And Leanne's like, Well, I'llfeel for a few.
And then she's like, I don'tfeel anything, I think we can
still make it.
You got this, you got this, andI'd like, we'll we'll we'll
(32:44):
keep going.
And I was like, if any of youget back in the car, like my
brain, I don't think I wascommunicating this out loud, but
my brain was like, if you guysget back in the car and keep
driving, I you know, I was like,she was right there, and so I
was like, No, no, baby's coming.
And I think my husband was likerunning around the middle of
the road trying to get a cellphone service because he just
like couldn't make a phone callto call anyone.
(33:04):
So he's like like in the middleof the street, like holding his
phone up.
And I'm like, the baby isliterally coming.
And I think like nextcontraction, one push, like
Leanne caught her.
She just like came right outthere, and I was just like, Oh,
yep.
Leanne's like, Okay, well, wehave a baby.
He came back and he was like,Wait, we had a baby, you know,
came back from the middle of theroad, and it was just like,
yeah.
So then we were like, okay,well, I guess let's pop pop back
(33:28):
in the car and start drivingtowards the hospital.
Oh my goodness.
I know, like it was just likeso great that she could get
right behind us because myhusband, like, he was like, If
she wasn't here, I don't knowwhat I he was like, I don't know
what I would have done.
Like he was like, I was notprepared for that to happen.
So yeah, it was so great thatshe was like right there and
(33:48):
said she was like, I've got Ithink she was like, Do you guys
have any towels in your car?
And he's like, We have one, andshe's like, I have a bunch in
my car.
And she ran to her car, andthen she came back with a
sweatshirt.
She's like, Never mind, I tookthose towels out, but we wrapped
the baby up in a sweatshirt andshe just like put her on me and
she's like, Okay, let's go.
And so we like kept going.
And the drive from there wasgreat, you know.
I was like using full sentence.
My husband's like, Wow, you'reso just like so you're using
(34:10):
full sentences and you're justlike so happy.
And I was like, Well, yeah,because that feeling, you go
from the most intense, likepainful thing to like the the
sense of relief is just like I'mjust you just feel amazed.
This is why you're like, Yeah,I'd have another baby.
Because that that moment isjust like so magical and so
amazing.
And I just felt so happy rightafter it happened.
I was like, this is wonderful.
(34:30):
I think I was like, you couldturn around, let's just go home.
Like, we don't need thehospital now.
And he's like, Well, now we'reonly like 25 minutes away, we
should probably go.
And I was like, Okay, but wecould just go home.
And it was funny too.
I think I was also like, Whattime?
Like, what time was it?
Like, someone he was like, Oh,I looked, it was like two, two
seventeen-ish.
And I was like, Okay, we'llcall it that if they ask.
(34:53):
But it was just yeah, so it wasfunny.
Car birth was not expectingthat, but yeah, we so yeah, we
made yeah, we did it.
Angela (35:03):
Oh my gosh, that's incredible! Wow.
So so you did go to thehospital.
Cathy (35:09):
How was that?
Yeah, so um I got thereprobably like a little bit
before 3 a.m.
And Leanne had called uh oncewhen she did get service.
She called and told them thatwe were coming, so they were
like, you know, waiting for uswith a wheelchair.
So like right as I pulled up,they put me in that wheelchair
and we went up to a room.
It was just like a differentexperience, you know.
I went from being like in thetotal dark, like doing this all
(35:31):
alone, you know, with and thenit was in the woods on the side
of the road, like how cool.
Yeah.
Right, exactly.
And I was like, oh, and nowthere are like three nurses and
a midwife, and we're all in thistiny room, and they're all
asking me like 1,000 questions.
And I was like, Why are weplaying like a hundred questions
right now?
Like, how is any of thisrelevant?
Um, I hadn't birthed theplacenta yet, so that was so
(35:54):
once I got there, that midwifeon call was like, Do you want to
do that?
And I think I just did like atiny push and it came like right
out.
It was just like, so, and I waslike, So that was fine.
And then they were just liketending to me.
I had a second degree tear, sothey were working on that and
like doing all the baby stuff.
I remember when I birthed theplacenta, Leanne was like,
That's it, you're no longerpregnant anymore, which was like
(36:16):
such a bittersweet momentbecause I didn't like being
pregnant either time, right?
Like I was like so happy to notbe pregnant and have this
beautiful baby safely on theside of the road.
It was just like, but also wewere we're done.
Like we were pretty, we'repretty confident we're not gonna
have any more kids.
So it was like that moment oflike such a relief I'm not
(36:37):
pregnant anymore, but I'm likeclosing this chapter of my life
that I won't ever do again.
And so I was like happy and sadall in the same moment when she
made that statement.
And it was just like, wow, Ican't believe it.
But besides that, it was like,yeah, they just kept kind of
tending to me.
I remember looking over, andLeanne and Ian were just like
sitting on the couch, like,okay, we're not really doing
(37:00):
anything now.
Because it was like, you know,the big moment had happened
already, and so they were justkind of hanging out.
But um, the big thing is that Iwas GBS positive, so positive
for group B strep, which is likethis bacteria you have in your
vagina.
And so that can get passed toyour baby during birth, like
they can have like an infection,and they kept being like, oh,
(37:23):
this is like super, this can besuper life threatening.
And it's really critical.
They typically what they do isgive you antibiotics in an IV,
and they were, but that's timesensitive.
So obviously, I didn't have thebaby at the hospital, so I
couldn't get that IV in.
Um, and so now they were like,well, what we do now is like a
watch and wait approach.
(37:44):
And I was like, I'm ready to gohome.
And they were like, Well, wereally want you to stay like 48
hours.
And I was like, Oh, I was like,I didn't want to be here to
begin with.
I didn't even have my babyhere.
I was like, I just really wantto go home.
And like, it's just like it'sthat funny situation where like
(38:04):
obviously everyone is sofriendly and so nice, but they
always word things like, this issuper like life-threatening to
your baby.
Like, if you if you go home andyou don't catch the symptoms,
and like if Machias is ondeferment, you'll have to drive
all the way back here and it'stime critical to get your baby
that you need.
And so it's like you're in thesituation where you're like, Oh,
(38:25):
okay, like I don't want toleave because you're making me
all stressed out that likesomething could potentially
happen to my baby.
But my husband's over there,like, well, don't we have like
the shortest exposure period?
Because you know, my waterbroke around one and the baby
was born at two.
He was like, That's such ashort exposure period.
He was like trying to get themto give us like more for like
(38:46):
what it like, what are thestatistical odds that it
happened?
Like, wouldn't it be so lowthat like this will be passed on
to the baby?
Like, you know, and they werejust like, you know, you can go,
but you have to sign a formthat says you're like leaving
against hospital advice ormedical advice.
So I was like, all right, well,we'll I don't know, we'll think
(39:06):
about it for a couple for alittle bit.
So I think Leanne she stayedfor a little for a couple hours
and then she left and got my carcleaned.
I couldn't believe she didthat.
She was like, I'll take, I'llbe right back.
And she went and like cleaned,she cleaned my whole car, which
was like, you didn't need to dothat, but that was very nice,
but she did do that.
Just so sweet to have that,like a little extra support.
(39:29):
And it was just yeah, great.
But then she left, and I think,you know, we went out, or my
husband went out, got us somebreakfast sandwiches, which was
great.
And it's just like thehospital's just like a weird
setting for me.
Like they were coming to checkon you, like at first, I think
it was about like every 30minutes, and then like every
four hours, and it was always adifferent nurse.
They're always they'refriendly, they're so nice, but
(39:49):
it's just like a new face everytime.
Like, I'm like, why are wedoing this again?
Like, I just want to go home.
You know, like even like acleaning lady came in and she
was like, I thought she was justgonna grab the trash.
The next thing I know, she'slike spraying cleaning spray all
over the whole room.
And I'm just like, Do youreally have to do this like
right now?
Like, what a weird, like, don'tyou even wait till I leave
before you wipe down the entireroom.
(40:11):
So just like there's all likeconstant people coming in and
out.
Like people brought me food andI was like, Oh, I didn't order
anything.
And they're like, No, it's foryou anyway.
And I was like, Oh, well, howdo I order things?
I'm like I don't know, I justdropped the food off.
And I was like, Okay, what aweird place, you know, friendly,
but just like I wanted to likemy first is like I had him, went
(40:32):
home and was like, you know,back in my bed four hours later.
And so this was just likethere's like a lot of people
coming, but we were just so tornabout like wanting to leave
because of this potentialinfection that she might have.
Angela (40:47):
So I think ultimately my husband did I have my midwife.
Did you like call your midwifeat that point?
Because she was the one thatsaid if you went to Ellsworth,
she'd get you out, right?
Cathy (40:56):
Like, yeah, I did text her and I was I did ask her
because Leanne had suggested thesame.
She's like, why don't you textJohnny and see what her thoughts
on this were?
Because like all you know, itwas like they were basically
one, if you should have hadthese antibiotics, but two, they
were also like you should havethem at least four hours before
the like before the birth, whichI don't think I ever connected
(41:19):
that dot.
Like, you know, when I was athome timing my contractions, if
I had wanted to get to Ellsworthfour hours before my baby came,
like I, you know, I startedtiming them at like 9 p.m.
I would have never even made itfor that to happen, right?
And like I wasn't even in mythought process, like I should
leave now because I need to getthere four hours ahead of time,
(41:40):
right?
But I but I did text um Jarney,my midwife, and was like, hey,
like, you know, this is goingon.
And she was like, I think herresponse was like, Oh yeah,
that's a tricky situation.
And I was like, Okay, thanksfor the advice.
Like, I at that point, I wasjust like, All right, cool, I'll
talk to you when you get back.
Angela (41:58):
She knew you were GBS positive and that might be an
issue.
That would have maybe been moreimportant than the cervical
check to say, like, if thishappens over the weekend, right?
Cathy (42:06):
Yeah, yeah.
Her advice went was just like,you know, she was like, you
know, you had a really firstfast labor.
So if your water breaks, likethat's the time to go.
Like, don't wait for, you know,don't hang out.
And I didn't, like, I was likeplanning on leaving like right
before my it was just acoincidence that it broke right
when I left.
But that was her advice, like,go when your water breaks.
So I was like, that's what Idid, you know.
(42:27):
Um, but we my husband and Iultimately decided that we would
stay 24 hours.
So they would go through likeall the newborn screening tests.
It turned out to be like 30hours because that would have
they did all those tests at liketwo in the morning when she was
born.
And then they were like, Well,we have a pediatrician coming
that would come in first thingin the morning.
And so why don't we have apediatrician look her over and
(42:50):
then you can go?
And I was like, Okay, it waslike the longest 30 hours.
Like, it was just like we wereso bored and like the bed is so
uncomfortable.
I was just like ready to gohome.
But uh it was kind of nice.
Ian's uh my husband's sisterwas visiting, and so she was
heading home that day, and she'slike, I'll come through
Ellsworth and see the baby, andwe were like, Yeah.
So she came by to the hospitaland got us here before she um
(43:12):
went home.
But yeah, then the pediatriciancame and they technically
discharged me, but they stillthey still didn't like clear.
They're like, Yeah, she looksfine, but like we're not gonna
clear her until I think it wasat least 48, if not 72 hours.
So we did sign a form that saidwe're leaving against medical
advice because I was like, I'mover being here.
(43:33):
And we had made an appointmentwith our pediatrician for the
following day.
So I was like pretty confidentthat like we'll have you know
them look her over.
So we left after, and that wasyeah, I felt so happy to leave.
It's just not my my settingthat I wanted to be at anymore.
Angela (43:50):
Yeah, oh that's that's crazy.
What a story.
Wow.
Cathy (43:57):
Yeah.
I think it was like even funny,like when my midwife had told
me, I think I was had lunch withmy boss a little bit after
that, and I was like, you know,and I could wrap my head around
Ellsworth as long as I don'thave this baby in a car.
And we were like joking aboutwouldn't that be funny?
Maybe I like willed it intoexistence somehow.
Cause I was like, as long asthat doesn't happen.
But yeah, it was I didn'texpect it.
(44:19):
Now I don't really look at mycar the same.
I'm always like, oh, this iswhere I had a baby.
Super special car now, right?
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, you can't sell it.
I know that's what I was like.
I was like, we have to keepthis car forever.
Angela (44:34):
Oh wow.
Oh my goodness.
So how do you like looking backnow?
How do you feel about likewhere you birthed?
Like in the woods on the side,like at least you were stopped.
Like the car was stopped.
At least Leanne was behind you,right?
Like, how yeah, how do you feellike looking back about that
whole birthing place?
Cathy (44:51):
Yeah, I mean, it was it was so great that Leanne was
there.
And like definitely, like, Ishould have prepared a little
bit more in case of a car birth,you know, had some towels in
the car, but it was reallygreat.
I mean, it was just like it wasreally hard to have those
contractions in the car.
But once I got into like thenon-vocal ones, it was just like
it was dark, it was great, noone was really bothering me.
(45:13):
I liked it.
I mean, we're definitely notplanning on having more kids,
but I would 100% have a homebirth like in the future.
I think I'm much more confidentin my ability to be like, I can
do this like without anyanybody, right?
So, like, I got this, it'sfine.
And so, like, if we were tohave another one, I'd be like,
Yeah, we're definitely stayinghome.
Because it was so fun to alsojust like labor kind of in my
(45:34):
bed leading up to it.
Like, I was like, I don't wantto go in the car for two hours,
right?
Like, it was just like reallygreat.
And it was, I mean, it's nicethat my labors are pretty short.
Like, I've you know, both timesthey weren't like very like
drawn out over a couple of daysor whatever.
But yeah, I think if I was todo it again, it would I would
just stay put at home, whichwould be really nice.
(45:56):
Birth works, yeah, yeah,exactly.
You just like trust yourinstincts and go for it.
I think it just took me alittle time to be like to be
like, oh yeah, I can do this.
I don't need yeah, and and likeyou you want to equip yourself
with the best team, and like Ithink that's one of the great
reasons why like it was so niceto have Leanne.
Like, I really trust in her.
(46:16):
She's had four of her own boys,and you know, it's nice to have
that support.
Um, but it's like you want toput your trust also in medical
professionals too, like they'retrained to do that and stuff,
but sometimes it's like theirfocus is a little bit different
than your focus.
Angela (46:32):
And birth isn't necessarily a medical event, you
know, like until it is, likeit's not, you know, and and
that's great.
Ian had worked as a midwife'sassistant, I think, for quite a
bit too.
So she's just like confidentassisting that, and then more,
you know, so she had some youknow, some experience.
So like you were you were stillin great hands.
Cathy (46:51):
Yeah, I was yeah, I was so happy that she was there.
I was like, You she's got this,we'll be fine.
She was like, You did it, all Idid was catch her.
Angela (47:00):
Like, yeah, that's true.
Nobody really remembers yourbaby, like you birthed your
babies with support, right?
Yeah.
Cathy (47:08):
Yeah, exactly.
Right.
Angela (47:10):
No, after after everything you've been through,
if you were to give advice tosomeone who's expecting, or even
new parents, like what's one ofthe biggest things you'd want
to share right now?
Cathy (47:22):
Yeah, I think you'd be like ready to like go with the
flow, you know, like but liketake your time, like ask all the
questions, ask them two orthree times.
Like, even if someone like kindof brushes them off or like
gives you an answer that likedoesn't make sense to you, like,
like, no, I want to revisitthat.
I want to know what happens inthis like what if scenario.
Like, don't be like, oh, wedon't have to worry about that.
(47:43):
Like, let's talk about it sothat you can be like the most
prepared with like the moreinformation you have, the easier
it is for you to make thosedecisions and and question those
things like when they say,like, oh, this is super
life-threatening to your baby.
Be like, that's not the end ofthe sentence, right?
Like, but what, like, what arethe chances?
You know, if I have all thatinformation, I can make the
(48:03):
decision that's best for like myfamily.
Um, so I think it was likehaving that prepared and like
also having your like supportteam ready to go, like having
those people that's reallysupportive, and not only like
during your labor, but alsoright after.
The one thing that was likedifferent for me this time
postpartum is that my son hadcome so early.
So my parents were planning tocome then too, but they probably
(48:26):
didn't get here until like fourweeks after he was born because
he came early.
But this time around, it waslike I got home and they was
like, they're my parents, whichwas fantastic.
You know, they were taking careof my toddler, which was so
wonderful.
But also for me, I'm like atthat first week, I like, I just
want to walk around liketopless, like my boobs hurt, my
(48:47):
nipples are cracked.
Like, I'm just like, and thenI'm like, oh, there's my dad.
You know, it's just like alittle bit of a different
experience.
Like they're being verysupportive, but I really enjoyed
that like first bit of timewith my son, like just me and my
husband and my son.
It was just like it wasdifficult, it was hard, but we
were like navigating it as afamily of three.
(49:08):
This time it just like feltlike I had so many people in my
house, like my parents werehere, my in-laws just like kept
coming over, and I was like,this is overwhelming.
Like, just for that like firstlike week and a half.
I was just like, I need sometime to like just adjust to
being mom again, like by myselfand like my body's changing
again.
So, like, think about you know,your team both before and
(49:29):
after, you know, have that plan,like what works for you,
everyone will be different andwant support in a different way,
but kind of think through bothoptions.
Angela (49:38):
Yes, it can be really easy to stay focused on like the
birth, which of course is themain event, but don't forget
about postpartum.
Right, yeah, exactly.
Cathy (49:47):
There's so many things that happen there too.
Angela (49:49):
Yeah.
So how has your postpartum beengoing so far?
And it's how old is she now?
Cathy (49:54):
So she's two months, so yeah, she was born on September
1st.
So she was born on Labor Daythis year, but I didn't think
I'd have a September baby.
And her brother is born on wasborn on September 11th.
So their birthdays are only 10days apart.
So yeah, so he's just freshlytwo, and she's two months.
So they're pretty, pretty closebirthdays there, but it's been
(50:15):
going good.
Like I said, that first week, Iwas like, oh yeah, this is, you
know, I was like, my boobs hurtall the time.
She latched great, but it wasjust like a little intense at
first.
But after my milk came in andeverything regulated, it was
like, oh yeah, this is this isfine.
That's going good.
She's a much better sleeperthan he was.
Like even now, she's like, sheonly wakes up at like about two
(50:37):
in the morning.
She'll go to bed at like sevenand wake up at two.
He woke up like every 45minutes.
And I was like, uh, I like fearthe dark when he when he was a
baby.
I was like, oh, it's gettingdark.
He's gonna wake up in every 45minutes until the morning.
But she's great, she's a goodsleeper, so that's made it
really easy.
So now we're just kind ofnavigating the family of four
(50:58):
dynamics, you know.
Him being only two, it's alittle like one minute he's like
love's baby sister, and thenext minute he's giving her a
little tough love slap on theface, but you know, get through
it and we'll get through ittogether.
So it's pretty good.
Angela (51:14):
Yeah, it's a learning process.
Cathy (51:16):
They all they'll figure it out.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, I can see a good goodtime in the you know, future
ahead.
Well, they'll just be likeplaying and I'll be like, yeah,
that'll be wonderful.
Angela (51:26):
So oh, yeah, it happens fast.
So enjoy all those newbornsnuggles while you still got
them.
Yeah, yeah, thanks.
Oh, well, thank you so much,Kathy, for taking the time to
chat with me again and come backand share your second birth
story.
It's incredible.
Yeah, I love it.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
Before you go, I just want toremind you, I have a ton of
(51:50):
resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby, I wantyou to check out the show notes
because I have some freetrainings and free downloads
that you can sign up for, aswell as a link to access my
labor of blogs, a comprehensive,self-based online childbirth
education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
(52:13):
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who your birthingis.
And I'd honestly love to doeverything that I know so that
you can prepare for anautonomous birth experience and
prepare to step into your roleas the leader of your birth
journey.
So, with those show notes,check out all of those links,
(52:33):
and if you ever have anyquestions, feel free to DM me at
MyManeBirth over on Instagram.
Once we were in the car, my husband was like, I thought
you said that these were likenine minutes apart.
He's like, They're like threeminutes apart.
And I was like, shut up andjust drive faster.
I had not anticipated like thatthey could like contractions
come so much more quickly afteryour water breaks.
And I wasn't expecting my waterto break right before like the
second I walked out the door.
So they were, they were likecoming a lot faster and like
(00:22):
very uncomfortable in the car atthis point, right?
Like I had my seatbelt on thatcame off in like a second.
I was in the passenger seat,like holding on to the little
handrail above me.
I couldn't like move to theback seat because we had both
car seats in the back seat ofour car.
So it was just like just likesquat and standing on the front,
like trying to get comfortable.
But like I was having prettyintense contractions at that
(00:45):
point, you know, screaming,like, I want to go home, take me
home.
You know, my son's like, I'mgonna just keep driving, even
though you're staying that.
You know, I was like, okay, youknow, it was kind of funny, but
also it was just like it wasit's not a very can't move, and
so like that's just like not themost ideal in place.
Angela (01:03):
It's a really long ride.
So, like, how long is the ridefrom Lubeck to Ellsworth?
Like, that's far still.
Cathy (01:10):
Yeah, it takes us about two hours.
I mean, luckily it's like youknow, 1:30 in the morning.
So my husband's like whippingit down there, but yeah, it
takes about two hours for us toget there.
So I was like, okay, you know,this will be fun.
And I think we had gotten tothe point where we were supposed
to meet Leanne.
And so my husband started tolike slow down.
He's like, I don't see your carin there.
(01:31):
And I was like, Kate, drive.
I was like so mad.
I was like, do not slow thiscar down.
And he's like, Okay, I'll justcall her and tell her that we're
gonna keep driving.
And he didn't like that, wentthrough the car speaker, you
know, because it's on Bluetooth.
And she was like, No, no, I seeyou guys.
I'll just hop in right behindyou.
Like, don't worry, just keepgoing.
And then I had like a hugecontraction, like while we were,
(01:52):
while she was on the phone.
And she was like instantly wentinto like a wonderful
supportive mode and was liketalking me through it while
while in the while in her car,following our car.
And then we um turned on theBlackwoods Road.
So if people aren't familiar,there's kind of like two ways
for us to get to Ellsworth.
One's like Blackwoods, or youcan stay on Route One and like
go through Melbridge.
And my husband had before, hehad asked, which way do I go?
(02:15):
And I was like, Oh, we alwaystake the Blackwoods Road.
It's faster.
Probably like 10 minutesfaster.
It's not like that much faster.
And again, like at two in themorning, you could probably go
equally the other way.
But we went that way.
And Leanne told me later thatshe was like, Oh, after you had
that huge contraction, and thenwe turned that direction, she
was like, Oh, this is this isrisky going that way.
(02:36):
There's no cell phone serviceon that road.
But we went that way.
And the next contraction I hadwas like not vocal at all.
It was kind of like that, likedeep, like, mmm, like I okay.
And I was like, in my brain, Iwas like, Yep, I'm ready to
push.
I'm gonna start pushing.
And then my brain was like, Ishould tell them that I'm
pushing.
And I was like, hmm, I'm justgonna work through this.
(02:57):
Like, I was just like, okay, Ireally need to like it was just
hard.
You're like not really, youdon't have the words then to
like communicate.
And so eventually I was like tomy husband, I think I was like,
I'm pushing, I'm pushing now.
And he was like, okay, I'lljust pull over and ask me Ann if
you should do that.
And I was like, there's no likeshould I like there's like I am
doing, like the baby is coming.
Angela (03:20):
I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced dual, child birtheducator, and your host here on
the My Maine Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine.
From our state's biggesthospitals to birth center births
(03:40):
and home births.
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a State-to-Baymom, a seasoned mother, or
simply interested in the worldof birth, these episodes are for
you.
Welcome back.
If you're listening to episode135 of My Main Birth.
(04:01):
Today's birth story guest isKathy, and Kathy shared her
first birth story back inepisode 121 of the podcast.
So go check that out to hearthe first part of her story.
And today she is back to shareher second birth story, which
involved her midwife abandoningher on her due date.
(04:22):
She decided to fly out of townfor the weekend.
And Kathy went on to free birthin her car in the middle of the
night, somewhere in the woodsof down east Maine, where there
was no cell phone service.
Fortunately, Kathy wasn'tcompletely alone.
She was supported by heramazing duela, Leanne, who also
was on this podcast.
(04:43):
She shared her birth storiesback in episode one.
So shout out to Leanne forbeing there for Kathy throughout
both of her pregnancies andbirths.
All right, let's get into it.
Hi, Kathy.
Welcome back to My Main Birth.
Hi.
So to get started, when we leftoff before, you had shared a
(05:04):
little bit about your secondpregnancy.
You were 37 weeks into it whenyou were on in episode 121.
But for maybe anyone thathasn't heard that episode, would
you start by sharing how youfound out you were pregnant for
the second time and what yourthoughts were in choosing your
care?
Sure.
Cathy (05:23):
So my husband and I, we live down in Louis Beck.
And so we had our son, uh,which was great, when we always
wanted to have two kids.
But after my first pregnancy,like I hated being pregnant.
So I was like, I don't think Iever want to do that again.
But it was like our dream toalways have two kids.
So when we decided that we weregonna like eventually we're
(05:43):
like, okay, we can do this,we'll go through the pregnancy
again.
It'll be fine.
Maybe it'll be different,right?
Maybe it'll be fine.
So we decided we'll go for it.
We wanted them to be close inage, they're two years apart,
and that's how far we are apartfrom our siblings.
So we're like, that's what wealways wanted.
So we're like, we'll rip thisband aid off, so to speak, and
like go for it the second time.
Um, and I think it took usthree months to get pregnant the
(06:05):
second time around, which waspretty quick again.
So that was really cool.
And for care wise, we decidedto go with the same thing that
we did the first time.
So um we used a midwife inMachias.
She has her own little umbirthing suite and center right
there in Machias.
So that's really great.
It kind of gave us that likehome birth experience, but in a
(06:25):
controlled setting, more orless.
We really liked it, you know,like we had our son, but like
within four hours, we were stillout of there, you know, back
home.
It was just, it was perfect forus.
So we wanted to do that again.
And she did move locations, butit was the same setup.
So we were like, that soundsgreat.
We'll do that again.
Um, we also had a doula thefirst time around, and my
(06:47):
husband was like, we don't needa duel again, we we're pros now.
And I was like, wait a minute.
You know, I so we uh we talkedabout Leanne.
We loved her the first time,she's absolutely fabulous.
You know, we went through herbirth classes, everything was
really great.
But um, you know, I was like tomy husband, like some of the
things I remembered from myfirst birth was just like
Leanne's presence there was justlike so calming to me.
(07:09):
So um, you know, like everyoneelse there, it was like it was
only the midwife and her uhnurse assistant, and then Leanne
and my husband and me, ofcourse, you know, checking on me
or checking on the baby, likedoing the things that had to be
done.
And Leanne's voice was justlike more like you got this, not
like I need this from you, butit was more like you got this,
you can do this.
It was just absolutely what Iremember as one of the most
(07:31):
supportive things during myfirst birth.
So I had told my husband, I waslike, I I want Leanne again,
just in, you know, just for thatfeeling, which is so wonderful.
And then there's always likethis like what if scenario, you
know.
So I was like, I also wantAbdula for just like what if
something of our plan likedoesn't happen the way that we
envision it.
And he was like, okay, go aheadand text her, like get her on.
(07:52):
And so we had her again.
So it was kind of the same,same care setup just two years
later.
Angela (07:58):
Amazing.
Oh my goodness.
So was it early on in yourpregnancy when you kind of like
set up your whole team, youdecided to call Leanne in?
Yeah, it's like right away.
Yeah, right away.
Yep, definitely.
Awesome.
So, how were you feelingthroughout this pregnancy?
Like emotionally, physically?
Cathy (08:17):
Yeah.
And so I think I was on the thefirst time I was on the
podcast, I was about 36 weeks,but I'll I'll kind of recap
that.
But it was again like thereason I wasn't sure I wanted to
be pregnant a second time isbecause my first pregnancy, I
was nauseous like the wholetime.
And that was my big fear again.
And I totally was.
I was even more, I didn't evenknow it was possible to be even
(08:38):
more nauseous than I was thefirst time.
And it was like I wasn'teating, I wasn't drinking.
And so for about like the firsttwo trimesters, I was getting
IV fluids to just like havesomething going through my body,
and it was just it was a reallydifficult time because we
didn't know if that would end.
Like it lasted the whole, thewhole time, the first pregnancy.
(09:00):
And now it was like I feel evenworse.
And I have a one and a halfyear old running around that's
just like mama, mama, and like Ican't give him that attention
that I so wanted to, and it wasjust like, so it was definitely
there were times that I feltsad, you know, I like very much
was excited to be pregnant, butit was just really challenging.
But luckily, it did go awaythis time.
(09:23):
So that was great.
The nauseous, you know, thatfeeling it went away after a
while, and then I got into liketowards the end of the third
trimester, what you wouldpicture as like stereotypic,
like, give me the doublecheeseburgers, I can eat for two
now.
Like very much excited.
So that was a shift, and Iloved it.
It just took a while to getthere.
Um, the big thing that kind ofhappened throughout this
pregnancy was at the anatomyscan.
(09:44):
So around, I think that's like22 weeks, 20 weeks, I can't
remember.
But um, a couple things came upduring that.
So the they flagged her forhigh drops, which is like some
kind of like swelling of chestfluids, and that made us so that
was at um the MachayasHospital, Downy's Community
Hospital in Machayas is where Ihad my ultrasound.
(10:06):
And and so we got referred toNorthern Light in Bangor for
like a follow-up, and we wentthere and the high drops thing
like quickly resolved.
They were like, we don't, butum, she was still super small,
and they also then had anotherthing come up with like some
kind of shadow on her heart,which also eventually resolved
itself.
She had two small littlepinholes in her heart, little
VSDs is what they're called, butum, they turned out to be
(10:29):
nothing.
We had like a follow-up acouple weeks ago, and that
they're all gone now.
So that was really great.
But the biggest thing was likeshe was small and like really
tiny.
And so they wanted like allthese extra growth scans and
ultrasounds like throughout thewhole pregnancy.
And I talked about this thefirst time I was on the podcast,
and it just the that likereally weighed on me to just
like help all these extraappointments.
(10:49):
Like a lot of people are like,Oh, it's so cool you to see your
baby all the time.
And I'm like, I guess, yeah.
I mean, it is nice, but it'salso just like I felt like it
was just not needed, like, youknow, especially because I
wasn't getting in thosenutrients like the you know, in
the first couple of trimesters,is like she's small, but like I
expect that, like she will be abigger and she was growing.
Like every time I went, she wastracking fine, just just tiny.
(11:12):
Um, and so I ended up cancelinga lot of the ones towards the
end because I just kind of gotfed up with it.
I was like, no, I feelconfident that she is growing
and it is fine.
And I was so much happier onceI did that.
So yeah, so I think thatbrought me that would bring me
like right up to about 37 weeks,which is which is when I was on
the podcast the first time.
Angela (11:30):
Yeah.
So when you first started withyour midwife this time in the
beginning, did she let you knowthat she might be on vacation
around the time of your duedate?
Cathy (11:41):
No, yeah, yeah.
So that's something like, yeah,it was very interesting.
And I'll kind of like get intothat whole situation because it
caught me completely off guard.
And it was the one thing, like,you know, to find out that your
midwife is gonna go on vacationon leave on your due date is
kind of like, whoa, that's athat's a just a shock, you know.
(12:02):
And if I had known earlier, Idon't know when she booked her
vacation, I never asked.
But if I had known earlier,like maybe I could have found a
midwife that would be willing todo a home birth, or I could
have maybe switched to adifferent birthing center.
Um, but to find out so late inthe game was definitely
something that added a lot ofstress to those last couple of
weeks for sure.
(12:22):
Well, last couple of daysreally.
Angela (12:25):
Oh my gosh.
Wow.
So when did you find out umthat she was gonna be leaving?
Cathy (12:30):
Yeah, so I think it was like, you know, 37 weeks.
Um we were totally ready forthe baby because my first came
at 37 weeks.
So, like this time around, wewere like totally ready to go.
We're like, we're we're like,you know, house is totally
clean, car seats in the car, allmy snacks were packed and
everything.
Like 37 weeks came, 38 weekscame, still no baby, nothing.
(12:51):
Eating the snacks, like I gottarestock.
I totally like, I think Ibought my my snacks like five
times because I ate them so manytimes.
I was like, Well, but I atethose yesterday, I'll have to
buy them all over again.
And like every day my husband'slike, should we like re-clean
the should we re-clean thehouse?
And I was like, I don't know atthis point, like this baby, you
know, it's funny because likeat 38 weeks, you could still
have weeks to go.
(13:12):
We were just anticipatingbecause our first came so early,
just like on his own, thatwe're like, oh, we're we'll
probably have another earlybaby.
But it didn't work out that itjust didn't happen that way.
I mean, it's only one littledata point to compare it to, so
it's you know, obviously umwasn't something significant.
Like we were like, yeah, it'sprobably great that she's still
(13:32):
in there.
Everyone's so concerned thatshe's small, so she's just
growing more, right?
So, but I guess it's probablyfor the best anyway.
But yeah, so 37, 38 weeks cameand went.
I didn't really have any signsthat, you know, I think I was
like a little bit extra crampy,but they were not like
consistent cramps.
They never, like, you know, ifI moved, they like went away.
It was like nothing to be likeconcerned about at all.
(13:54):
So 30, 39 weeks.
So it would have been 39 weekson a Friday, and I had an
appointment scheduled for thefollowing Thursday.
So that actually would havebeen like one day before I was
before my due date.
And that Tuesday, so 39 weekson Friday, Tuesday, my midwife
office.
Can you come in today?
(14:15):
You know, your appointment's onThursday, but do you mind
coming in today on Tuesday?
And I was like, Yeah, I'm notdoing anything, I'm just waiting
for a baby.
So yeah, I don't mind likesinging by.
And it was like a very uh,like, you know, started off as a
very like routine appointment.
Like got in, the nurse weighedme, you know, checked my bottle,
you know, those kinds ofthings.
And as she was about to leaveto go get the midwife, she was
like, Um, Jarnie can do uh likea cervical check and a membrane
(14:38):
sweep if you want.
And I was like, Oh, I honestlyhaven't thought about that
because it wasn't something, itwas such a different lead up
with my first, right?
Like it was like my waterbroke, I lost my mucus plug, a
few hours later hadcontractions, a few hours later
had a baby.
So like these weren't reallythings that I ever experienced
with my first.
So when she was like, Yeah, youcan have a membrane sweep
today, I was like, Well, Ihaven't even really thought of
(15:00):
that.
You know, I'm only 39 weeks.
And she was like, Okay, well,think best because Johnny's
coming in.
And I was like, Oh, okay, well,thanks.
So I was like, I think she wasjoking, but it was still like it
just like caught me kind of offguard.
And so when my midwife came in,you know, we did a lot of like
the normal chit-chatting that wehad always do when we have an
appointment.
And she started to talk a lotabout how the Machias hospital
(15:23):
was on deferment so that theyweren't taking any labors.
And I was like, Yeah, cool, butyou know I don't want to have a
baby in the hospital, you know,like she knew that about me.
Um, and then so eventually shecame out with it that she was
like, Well, actually, like Ihave vacation planned for this
weekend.
And I was like, Oh, okay.
And so it was just like, itdefinitely like just like caught
(15:45):
me completely off guard.
She's like, Yes, I'll be gone.
It was the holiday weekend, soLabor Day weekend.
So she would have been gone forthe whole long weekend, like
leaving on Friday, which was mydue date, all the way through
Monday.
And so, since the MachiasHospital would be on deferment,
my next option would be to godown to Ellsworth, which is
about two hours for me to gothat far.
So we were kind of chattingabout that.
(16:05):
And she's like, I know youprobably don't want to do a
membrane sweep or anythingtoday.
And I was like, Yeah, Idefinitely don't.
You know, I look at that askind of like a form of
intervention, which I didn'tfeel like I needed, especially
at only 39 weeks.
There was just like no reasonto do that, or at least that's
what I was thinking.
Angela (16:22):
Especially since you was like leaving and you didn't
want a birth in the hospital.
Cathy (16:26):
Right, exactly.
Yeah, and there there is likeshe she is a on-call midwife for
Ellsworth.
So throughout the wholepregnancy, there was a small
chance that she was like, if I'mever on call, like or at
Ellsworth and you go into labor,like you might have to come
there anyway.
So I always had that like kindof in the back of my mind.
But we've talked that through,like, well, even if I go to
(16:49):
Ellsworth, she would be theperson delivering my baby.
And like she was, she knew Iwanted like the home birth, you
know, birthing center kind ofvibe.
And she was like, you know, Iwould discharge you early.
Like it would, like, we wouldwe would treat it like that,
just be at a different locationthan we had planned.
But now this scenario is likeshe's gonna be gone.
So I would be going to a placeI wasn't familiar with.
(17:11):
Like, I I've obviously been toEllsworth, but I was like, I
don't even know where thehospital is.
I was like, I'll have to Googlethat, you know, like it's like
a place I've never been withpeople I've never met before,
right?
So I was like, this is like atotally just like different
situation than like what I wouldlike have expected to do.
And like, so it definitelycaught me off guard.
And I wasn't like mad at her,but I was like very disappointed
(17:33):
and frustrated because it'slike I understand that like
birth workers, like theysacrifice so much for us, right?
They're always on call.
And it was really great thatlike she did decide to open her
practice here in Chayas, whichlike allowed me to have my first
in a you know in a nicebirthing suite, and then also
like go through my wholepregnancy with my second there
(17:54):
and not have to go through thehospital or drive like two hours
to Bangor to have somethingsimilar.
So it's like I'm soappreciative of that.
But like to find out three daysbefore my due date that like my
plan could change, it was justthat was just like frustrating.
I was like, I want you to fillyour cap, but like, do you have
to do it on my weekend?
You know, like you know, it'sjust like very much like, oh,
(18:16):
this is just so frustrating.
And so, like, I don't think Iasked a lot of questions,
really.
I had because I was just like,okay, you're gonna leave.
And then she was like, Well, Ido have insurance for my trip.
So she's like, if you're souncomfortable, like I won't, I
won't go.
Um, she was like, but she wasreally assistant.
She was like, I'd love to gobefore I, you know, decide if
I'm gonna go.
(18:37):
She's like, I really want to doa surgical check on you that
will help me decide if I go ornot.
And I was like, okay, well, I'mgonna do that today.
And so we kind of just leftwith like being like, we'll chat
more over the next couple ofdays.
This was Tuesday, she'ssupposed to leave on Friday.
She's like, well, why don't wejust like schedule you to come
back in on Thursday?
Maybe we could do a check then.
(18:57):
And she was like, think aboutit over the next couple of days.
And it was just like myunderstanding of that.
And I think I went home andcalled Leanne either that night
or the next day to be like, isthis, does this check, right?
Like a cervical check couldmean nothing, right?
It's like, you know, I was kindof bouncing that off, Leanne as
my dual.
Like, you could be dilated andit would still mean like you
could have hours or not dilatedat all, and like have a baby in
(19:20):
hours.
So I was like, and Leanne waslike, Yep, yep, that totally,
that totally checks out.
So what a why did Lily Jarnywant that?
And I was like, you know, Ididn't really ask because I
think I was just distractedduring the appointment.
Because it was just like, youknow, at that point, it was just
like, yeah, okay, this is gonnabe totally different than what
I had envisioned for my birth.
So totally caught off guard,but yeah.
Angela (19:42):
Yeah, that's kind of unprofessional to not tell you
when you're as her client, youknow, as the midwifery model,
like you're one-on-one withwomen, and it's you know, that
relationship is, you know, it'sso important.
And then to be like, oh, am Igonna go?
Am I not gonna go?
Like, that's a lot of pressureon you, feeling like already
pregnant, already pressure,like, oh, should I make her stay
home from her vacation?
Like, or not, like that's thatmust have been sad.
Cathy (20:04):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Because you know, I was like,okay, well, the baby hasn't come
yet.
I would feel so bad if I'mlike, don't go, and then like
the whole weekend happens and Istill don't have a baby, right?
I was like, there was no sign,like I there was nothing, like I
was like a little crampy, but Iwas like, there was no signs up
to that point that I could havea baby, but my first just like
happened so quickly.
So, like that that couldhappen, you know.
(20:26):
Every day that I had a littlecramp, like while I was washing
dishes or something, I'd belike, Oh, is this maybe this
will turn into like a realcontraction, you know?
It's like kind of that funnyfeeling where you're like, I'm
totally ready to meet you, baby.
But then you're also like, oh,wait, I'm about to do like the
hardest thing I've ever donebefore again, right?
It's like this like funny, likewaiting period where you're
like excited, but you're also alittle nervous.
(20:48):
So it was like, yeah, there wasno real signs.
So it was definitely like, Idon't want to say don't go, but
I also like built thisrelationship with you.
And like, yeah, so overall itwas definitely like kind of a
frustrating experience, but wedecided that we would just like
keep talking over the nextcouple of days, and so I think
Wednesday, the next day, Istarted to lose like a little
(21:11):
bit of mute of mucus of my mucusplug, just like a tiny bit,
like every time I was going tothe bathroom, there was some
there.
And again, I think I wastalking to Leanne about that.
She's like, Yeah, she's like,that's that could be a sign, but
like people's mucus plugs canlike grow back all the time.
So she's like, that doesn'tnecessarily mean you're gonna
have the baby soon.
And I was like, oh, okay.
So um Thursday, the day that mymidwife had wanted me to come
(21:32):
back in, she actually got calledto Ellsworth to deliver a baby.
So she was like, never mind,don't come in today, but maybe
tomorrow morning.
Like, she's like, I'm I'msupposed to fly out Friday
night.
Maybe you can come in Fridaymorning and do a check.
She was like so insistent onwanting to do a cervical check.
And I was just like, Okay, likejust like I don't know.
I just like didn't really feellike I wanted to do it, but she
(21:53):
was like so insistent about it.
I don't know, again, it wasjust like putting me in this
like kind of weird place.
But yeah, Friday morning I wokeup and it was my due date.
Yay! Like that was exciting,right?
I couldn't believe I made itthat far.
I thought at that point maybeI'd already have like a
three-week old, right?
That's what I had with myfirst.
So it was kind of exciting tomake it all the way to my due
(22:13):
date.
But I did go right in and justkind of meet with her, meet with
my midwife.
And we chatted a lot about likewhat it what it's like at the
Machias Hospital, like who themidwives are there, because I've
never met them, and like, youknow, like do they is there a
tub option?
Like those kinds of things,just to kind of like start to
get into that mindset.
And I did let her do a cervicalcheck and I was dilated out of
(22:36):
one, I think it was, and likeyeah, there was like no real
sign.
She was like, okay, I I don'tthink you're gonna have this
baby this weekend.
And I was like, okay.
So she's like, I think I'll goon my trip.
And I was like, okay, I'm youknow, I'm not gonna say you
can't go, you're an adult too,you know.
So I was just like, okay, I'mjust gonna get in this mindset
that like my new plan, you know,hopefully the baby would stay
(23:00):
all weekend and I would be ableto like have the birth that I
kind of visioned at that birthcenter.
But I was like, if not, I justgotta like wrap my head around
like this weekend, Ellsworth itis, and this is why I was
actually so happy that I askedLeanne to be my dual again.
Because I was like, all right,this is the what if.
Like, I have a doula, she'll atleast be there.
You know, Leanne has supportedbirth down at Ellsworth before.
(23:23):
So she was comfortable withthat setting, and she's like, I
know what you want, like this isgreat, it'll be fine.
And so it made me just like sohappy that I was like, Yes, I
definitely want a doula for thesecond time around, because that
what if happened, and so it waslike, okay, yeah.
So it was yeah, so that's wherewe got.
That was Friday, my due date.
Angela (23:43):
Yeah, yeah, and then let's see.
So she was there to step in andjust be with you when you were
alone for that week.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cathy (23:55):
Cause you know, I thought about it, like I was like,
well, maybe I I could switch tolike have a home birth or
something, but it's like, who doyou who are we gonna call up
and be like, hi, like I'm duetoday?
Any chance you wanna like cometo my house all the way in Lou
Bat, right?
Like it was too late to likepivot to a new plan.
So it was kind of like, okay,Ellsworth it is like this is
what we're gonna do, you know.
(24:15):
So it's just like okay, and mymidwife's practice is so small.
Like, I asked her, like, do youhave a backup midwife that you
use?
And she's like, No, I don't.
And I was like, Oh, I was like,You should you should consider
that in the future, right?
So at least I could have stillbirthed there, but she was like,
No, I don't, you know, I Iasked her, like, could you open
the birthing center to likeanother midwife?
And she's like, No, I don't dothat.
(24:36):
So I was like, okay.
So it was like it wasunfortunate, but I was like,
okay, let's just switch themindset.
We're having the baby at thehospital, let's Google a little
bit about that.
What is that gonna be like, youknow?
So yeah.
Um, but we were hoping she'dstay in, but let's see.
So Saturday morning, I woke up,I think about 3 a.m.
(24:56):
to go to the bathroom, and Ihad like a lot of bright red
blood that, you know, when Iwent to the bathroom.
And that was again like anothersign that I was like, oh, this
isn't something that I'veexperienced before.
So um I called my midwife onvacation and I was like, yeah,
this is happening.
You know, she said I could callher, text her while she was
gone.
I was like, great, I'm gonna dothat.
(25:16):
Um, and you know, I text her toher pictures and she's like,
yeah, that's your like bloodyshow.
So like just like keep resting.
But she's like, probably doesmean the baby's gonna come
sooner than later, but like justrest and like try to stay off
your feet, try to keep her inthere until I get back.
And I was like, okay, like Ican't control that, but I'll
try.
So like all day Saturday, I waslike much more uncomfortable,
and my like the crampycontractions were starting to
(25:39):
get like a little bit moreintense, but they still were not
getting in like any kind oflike regular pattern or anything
like that.
Um, my husband was like, Areyou gonna call Leanne today?
And I was like, No, I feel likewe're close, but I still don't
feel like it's the day yet.
So Saturday came and went, andthen Sunday, uh like throughout
that day, like everything wasstarting to like, okay, like now
(26:01):
these contractions are startingto get a little bit more
intense.
They still like throughout theday, no real pattern, but I was
just like way more uncomfortablethan I had been the last couple
of days.
And so I like told my husband,I was like, okay, I'm thinking,
I think it today might be theday.
So I was like, let's make surewe're all packed, like re get my
snacks for me, you know, likelet's get all those things
(26:21):
together.
I think I did text Leanne thatI was like, hey, like today
could be it.
She's like, hey, I'll be ready.
Um, my parents had come intotown that day because they were
coming up, you know, to supportour family once the baby was
born.
So they were arriving that day.
My dad kept asking for weeksbefore, like, is the baby here
yet?
I'm like, Dad, please.
It's I don't know why people dothat.
(26:42):
Like, obviously, we will tellyou when our baby arrives.
The people that constantly arelike, is your baby here yet?
It's like, clearly, I'm stillpregnant.
It's a very funny thing to askus at towards the end.
It's just, yeah.
But anyway, so that Sunday, somy parents arrived that day, and
everything was just getting alittle bit more like, okay, I
think around nine o'clock, I waslike, I'm gonna go lay down,
(27:03):
like get ready for bed.
But by then, there wasdefinitely like a regular
pattern was happening with mycontractions.
So I kind of like, I never wentto bed.
I just kind of like laid therewith my little app on my phone
that was like monitoring howclose together the contractions
were.
And I think around 9 p.m.
they were like 12, 12 minutesapart.
And they, but every hour, likea one minute would shave off.
(27:25):
So I was like doing the math inmy head, like, okay, I have to
get all the way to Ellsworth,but I was like so comfortable in
my own bed.
It was just like so, like noone was bothering me.
It was like such a peacefultime, you know.
Every now and then my husbandwould roll over and he's like,
You're doing great.
And I'm like, Thanks.
You know, it was just likereally, it was just like really
calm and peaceful.
And I was like, man, I shouldjust like have the baby here,
(27:46):
but not ready for that at all.
So I think I was like in mybrain, I was like, okay, I leave
when the contractions are likeeight or nine minutes apart.
That should, that should giveme enough time to get down to
Ellsworth.
Um, but I think a little after12:30, I had like this bigger
one that it almost felt like shejust like kicked, like punched
me in the stomach.
(28:07):
I was like, wow, I didn't haveto do that, baby.
I was like, that was like sointense.
So I think I told my husband, Iwas like, all right, that one
was a little different.
Maybe we should like get readyto go.
So I had woke my mom up and Itold her, like, you're on
toddler duty, like, we're gonnaleave for the hospital now.
So like have her there in casemy son woke up.
But and we had everythingready.
And then, like, I was like, allright, let me just pee real
(28:28):
quick before I go.
And so I went to go pee andlike my water broke like a huge
gush over the toilet.
And I was like, Oh my god, mywater broke.
My but my husband was like, Iheard that.
Like he was in the other room.
He was like, I heard it.
And I was like, Oh wow, okay,like good thing we're leaving.
So that was great.
And then um, we had calledLeanne and we told her we were
gonna leave.
She um lives in Columbia Falls,which is like in between here
(28:50):
and and Ellsworth.
So she's like, I'll meet you atfour corners at the grocery
store there, and then I'll justfollow you the rest of the way.
So we had kind of arrived atthe same time.
I was like, okay, that soundsgood.
And then once we were in thecar, my husband was like, I
thought you said that these werelike nine minutes apart.
He's like, they're like threeminutes apart.
And I was like, shut up andjust drive faster.
I had not anticipated like thatthey could like contractions
(29:14):
come so much more quickly afteryour water breaks.
And I wasn't expecting my waterto break right before like the
second I walked out the door.
So they were, they were likecoming a lot faster and like
very uncomfortable in the car atthis point, right?
Like I had my seatbelt on thatcame off in like a second.
I was in the passenger seat,like holding on to the little
handrail above me.
I couldn't like move to theback seat because we had both
(29:37):
car seats in the back seat ofour car.
So it was just like just likesquatting, standing on the
front, like trying to getcomfortable.
But like I was having prettyintense contractions at that
point, you know, screaming,like, I want to go home, take me
home.
You know, my son's like, I'mgonna just keep driving, even
though you're staying that.
You know, I was like, okay, uh,you know, it was kind of funny,
(29:58):
but also it was just like itwas a Not a very can't move, and
so like that's just like notthe most ideal in its place,
long ride.
Angela (30:06):
So, like, how long is the ride from Lubeck to
Ellsworth?
Like, that's far still.
Cathy (30:12):
Yeah, it takes us about two hours.
I mean, luckily, it's like youknow, 1:30 in the morning, so my
husband's like whipping it downthere, but yeah, it takes about
two hours for us to get there.
So I was like, okay, you know,this will be fun.
And I think we had gotten tothe point where we were supposed
to meet Leanne.
And so my husband started tolike slow down.
He's like, I don't see your carin there.
(30:32):
And I was like, Gabe, drive.
I was like so mad.
I was like, do not slow thiscar down.
And he's like, Okay, I'll justcall her and tell her that we're
gonna keep driving.
And he didn't like that, wentthrough the car speaker, you
know, because it's on Bluetooth.
And she was like, No, no, I seeyou guys.
I'll just hop in right behindyou.
Like, don't worry, just keepgoing.
And then I had like a hugecontraction, like while we were,
(30:53):
while she was on the phone.
And she was like instantly wentinto like a wonderful
supportive mode and was liketalking me through it while
while in the while in her car,following our car.
And then we um turned on theBlackwoods Road.
So if people aren't familiar,there's kind of like two ways
for us to get to Ellsworth.
One's like Blackwoods, or youcan stay on Route One and like
go through Melbridge.
And my husband had before, hehad asked, which way do I go?
(31:16):
And I was like, Oh, we alwaystake the Blackwoods Road.
It's faster, probably like 10minutes faster.
It's not like that much faster.
And again, like at two in themorning, you could probably go
equally the other way.
But we went that way.
And Leanne told me later thatshe was like, Oh, after you had
that huge contraction, and thenwe turned that direction, she
was like, Oh, this is this isrisky going that way.
(31:37):
There's no cell phone serviceon that road.
But we went that way, and thenext contraction I had was like
not vocal at all.
It was kind of like that, likedeep, like, mmm, like I okay.
And I was like, in my brain, Iwas like, Yep, I'm ready to
push.
I'm gonna start pushing.
And then my brain was like, Ishould tell them that I'm
pushing.
And I was like, hmm, I'm justgonna work through this.
(31:58):
Like, I was just like, okay, Ireally need to like it was just
hard.
You're like not really, youdon't have the words then to
like communicate.
And so eventually I was like,to my husband, I think I was
like, I'm pushing, I'm pushingnow.
And he was like, Okay, I'lljust pull over and ask Leanne if
you should do that.
And I was like, There's no likeshould I like there's like I am
doing like the baby is coming,and so they pulled over, and
(32:22):
Leanne had come to the passengerside door, and she's like, Do
you go ahead?
Like, just feel out there, youcan check and I was just like
clutchy onto the back of thecar, like to the seat, and I was
just like holding on and likesquatting over the passenger
seat, and I was like, Oh, Icannot.
I was like, I knew she wasright there.
And Leanne's like, Well, I'llfeel for a few.
And then she's like, I don'tfeel anything, I think we can
still make it.
You got this, you got this, andI'd like, we'll we'll we'll
(32:44):
keep going.
And I was like, if any of youget back in the car, like my
brain, I don't think I wascommunicating this out loud, but
my brain was like, if you guysget back in the car and keep
driving, I you know, I was like,she was right there, and so I
was like, No, no, baby's coming.
And I think my husband was likerunning around the middle of
the road trying to get a cellphone service because he just
like couldn't make a phone callto call anyone.
(33:04):
So he's like like in the middleof the street, like holding his
phone up.
And I'm like, the baby isliterally coming.
And I think like nextcontraction, one push, like
Leanne caught her.
She just like came right outthere, and I was just like, Oh,
yep.
Leanne's like, Okay, well, wehave a baby.
He came back and he was like,Wait, we had a baby, you know,
came back from the middle of theroad, and it was just like,
yeah.
So then we were like, okay,well, I guess let's pop pop back
(33:28):
in the car and start drivingtowards the hospital.
Oh my goodness.
I know, like it was just likeso great that she could get
right behind us because myhusband, like, he was like, If
she wasn't here, I don't knowwhat I he was like, I don't know
what I would have done.
Like he was like, I was notprepared for that to happen.
So yeah, it was so great thatshe was like right there and
(33:48):
said she was like, I've got Ithink she was like, Do you guys
have any towels in your car?
And he's like, We have one, andshe's like, I have a bunch in
my car.
And she ran to her car, andthen she came back with a
sweatshirt.
She's like, Never mind, I tookthose towels out, but we wrapped
the baby up in a sweatshirt andshe just like put her on me and
she's like, Okay, let's go.
And so we like kept going.
And the drive from there wasgreat, you know.
I was like using full sentence.
My husband's like, Wow, you'reso just like so you're using
(34:10):
full sentences and you're justlike so happy.
And I was like, Well, yeah,because that feeling, you go
from the most intense, likepainful thing to like the the
sense of relief is just like I'mjust you just feel amazed.
This is why you're like, Yeah,I'd have another baby.
Because that that moment isjust like so magical and so
amazing.
And I just felt so happy rightafter it happened.
I was like, this is wonderful.
(34:30):
I think I was like, you couldturn around, let's just go home.
Like, we don't need thehospital now.
And he's like, Well, now we'reonly like 25 minutes away, we
should probably go.
And I was like, Okay, but wecould just go home.
And it was funny too.
I think I was also like, Whattime?
Like, what time was it?
Like, someone he was like, Oh,I looked, it was like two, two
seventeen-ish.
And I was like, Okay, we'llcall it that if they ask.
(34:53):
But it was just yeah, so it wasfunny.
Car birth was not expectingthat, but yeah, we so yeah, we
made yeah, we did it.
Angela (35:03):
Oh my gosh, that's incredible! Wow.
So so you did go to thehospital.
Cathy (35:09):
How was that?
Yeah, so um I got thereprobably like a little bit
before 3 a.m.
And Leanne had called uh oncewhen she did get service.
She called and told them thatwe were coming, so they were
like, you know, waiting for uswith a wheelchair.
So like right as I pulled up,they put me in that wheelchair
and we went up to a room.
It was just like a differentexperience, you know.
I went from being like in thetotal dark, like doing this all
(35:31):
alone, you know, with and thenit was in the woods on the side
of the road, like how cool.
Yeah.
Right, exactly.
And I was like, oh, and nowthere are like three nurses and
a midwife, and we're all in thistiny room, and they're all
asking me like 1,000 questions.
And I was like, Why are weplaying like a hundred questions
right now?
Like, how is any of thisrelevant?
Um, I hadn't birthed theplacenta yet, so that was so
(35:54):
once I got there, that midwifeon call was like, Do you want to
do that?
And I think I just did like atiny push and it came like right
out.
It was just like, so, and I waslike, So that was fine.
And then they were just liketending to me.
I had a second degree tear, sothey were working on that and
like doing all the baby stuff.
I remember when I birthed theplacenta, Leanne was like,
That's it, you're no longerpregnant anymore, which was like
(36:16):
such a bittersweet momentbecause I didn't like being
pregnant either time, right?
Like I was like so happy to notbe pregnant and have this
beautiful baby safely on theside of the road.
It was just like, but also wewere we're done.
Like we were pretty, we'repretty confident we're not gonna
have any more kids.
So it was like that moment oflike such a relief I'm not
(36:37):
pregnant anymore, but I'm likeclosing this chapter of my life
that I won't ever do again.
And so I was like happy and sadall in the same moment when she
made that statement.
And it was just like, wow, Ican't believe it.
But besides that, it was like,yeah, they just kept kind of
tending to me.
I remember looking over, andLeanne and Ian were just like
sitting on the couch, like,okay, we're not really doing
(37:00):
anything now.
Because it was like, you know,the big moment had happened
already, and so they were justkind of hanging out.
But um, the big thing is that Iwas GBS positive, so positive
for group B strep, which is likethis bacteria you have in your
vagina.
And so that can get passed toyour baby during birth, like
they can have like an infection,and they kept being like, oh,
(37:23):
this is like super, this can besuper life threatening.
And it's really critical.
They typically what they do isgive you antibiotics in an IV,
and they were, but that's timesensitive.
So obviously, I didn't have thebaby at the hospital, so I
couldn't get that IV in.
Um, and so now they were like,well, what we do now is like a
watch and wait approach.
(37:44):
And I was like, I'm ready to gohome.
And they were like, Well, wereally want you to stay like 48
hours.
And I was like, Oh, I was like,I didn't want to be here to
begin with.
I didn't even have my babyhere.
I was like, I just really wantto go home.
And like, it's just like it'sthat funny situation where like
(38:04):
obviously everyone is sofriendly and so nice, but they
always word things like, this issuper like life-threatening to
your baby.
Like, if you if you go home andyou don't catch the symptoms,
and like if Machias is ondeferment, you'll have to drive
all the way back here and it'stime critical to get your baby
that you need.
And so it's like you're in thesituation where you're like, Oh,
(38:25):
okay, like I don't want toleave because you're making me
all stressed out that likesomething could potentially
happen to my baby.
But my husband's over there,like, well, don't we have like
the shortest exposure period?
Because you know, my waterbroke around one and the baby
was born at two.
He was like, That's such ashort exposure period.
He was like trying to get themto give us like more for like
(38:46):
what it like, what are thestatistical odds that it
happened?
Like, wouldn't it be so lowthat like this will be passed on
to the baby?
Like, you know, and they werejust like, you know, you can go,
but you have to sign a formthat says you're like leaving
against hospital advice ormedical advice.
So I was like, all right, well,we'll I don't know, we'll think
(39:06):
about it for a couple for alittle bit.
So I think Leanne she stayedfor a little for a couple hours
and then she left and got my carcleaned.
I couldn't believe she didthat.
She was like, I'll take, I'llbe right back.
And she went and like cleaned,she cleaned my whole car, which
was like, you didn't need to dothat, but that was very nice,
but she did do that.
Just so sweet to have that,like a little extra support.
(39:29):
And it was just yeah, great.
But then she left, and I think,you know, we went out, or my
husband went out, got us somebreakfast sandwiches, which was
great.
And it's just like thehospital's just like a weird
setting for me.
Like they were coming to checkon you, like at first, I think
it was about like every 30minutes, and then like every
four hours, and it was always adifferent nurse.
They're always they'refriendly, they're so nice, but
(39:49):
it's just like a new face everytime.
Like, I'm like, why are wedoing this again?
Like, I just want to go home.
You know, like even like acleaning lady came in and she
was like, I thought she was justgonna grab the trash.
The next thing I know, she'slike spraying cleaning spray all
over the whole room.
And I'm just like, Do youreally have to do this like
right now?
Like, what a weird, like, don'tyou even wait till I leave
before you wipe down the entireroom.
(40:11):
So just like there's all likeconstant people coming in and
out.
Like people brought me food andI was like, Oh, I didn't order
anything.
And they're like, No, it's foryou anyway.
And I was like, Oh, well, howdo I order things?
I'm like I don't know, I justdropped the food off.
And I was like, Okay, what aweird place, you know, friendly,
but just like I wanted to likemy first is like I had him, went
(40:32):
home and was like, you know,back in my bed four hours later.
And so this was just likethere's like a lot of people
coming, but we were just so tornabout like wanting to leave
because of this potentialinfection that she might have.
Angela (40:47):
So I think ultimately my husband did I have my midwife.
Did you like call your midwifeat that point?
Because she was the one thatsaid if you went to Ellsworth,
she'd get you out, right?
Cathy (40:56):
Like, yeah, I did text her and I was I did ask her
because Leanne had suggested thesame.
She's like, why don't you textJohnny and see what her thoughts
on this were?
Because like all you know, itwas like they were basically
one, if you should have hadthese antibiotics, but two, they
were also like you should havethem at least four hours before
the like before the birth, whichI don't think I ever connected
(41:19):
that dot.
Like, you know, when I was athome timing my contractions, if
I had wanted to get to Ellsworthfour hours before my baby came,
like I, you know, I startedtiming them at like 9 p.m.
I would have never even made itfor that to happen, right?
And like I wasn't even in mythought process, like I should
leave now because I need to getthere four hours ahead of time,
(41:40):
right?
But I but I did text um Jarney,my midwife, and was like, hey,
like, you know, this is goingon.
And she was like, I think herresponse was like, Oh yeah,
that's a tricky situation.
And I was like, Okay, thanksfor the advice.
Like, I at that point, I wasjust like, All right, cool, I'll
talk to you when you get back.
Angela (41:58):
She knew you were GBS positive and that might be an
issue.
That would have maybe been moreimportant than the cervical
check to say, like, if thishappens over the weekend, right?
Cathy (42:06):
Yeah, yeah.
Her advice went was just like,you know, she was like, you
know, you had a really firstfast labor.
So if your water breaks, likethat's the time to go.
Like, don't wait for, you know,don't hang out.
And I didn't, like, I was likeplanning on leaving like right
before my it was just acoincidence that it broke right
when I left.
But that was her advice, like,go when your water breaks.
So I was like, that's what Idid, you know.
(42:27):
Um, but we my husband and Iultimately decided that we would
stay 24 hours.
So they would go through likeall the newborn screening tests.
It turned out to be like 30hours because that would have
they did all those tests at liketwo in the morning when she was
born.
And then they were like, Well,we have a pediatrician coming
that would come in first thingin the morning.
And so why don't we have apediatrician look her over and
(42:50):
then you can go?
And I was like, Okay, it waslike the longest 30 hours.
Like, it was just like we wereso bored and like the bed is so
uncomfortable.
I was just like ready to gohome.
But uh it was kind of nice.
Ian's uh my husband's sisterwas visiting, and so she was
heading home that day, and she'slike, I'll come through
Ellsworth and see the baby, andwe were like, Yeah.
So she came by to the hospitaland got us here before she um
(43:12):
went home.
But yeah, then the pediatriciancame and they technically
discharged me, but they stillthey still didn't like clear.
They're like, Yeah, she looksfine, but like we're not gonna
clear her until I think it wasat least 48, if not 72 hours.
So we did sign a form that saidwe're leaving against medical
advice because I was like, I'mover being here.
(43:33):
And we had made an appointmentwith our pediatrician for the
following day.
So I was like pretty confidentthat like we'll have you know
them look her over.
So we left after, and that wasyeah, I felt so happy to leave.
It's just not my my settingthat I wanted to be at anymore.
Angela (43:50):
Yeah, oh that's that's crazy.
What a story.
Wow.
Cathy (43:57):
Yeah.
I think it was like even funny,like when my midwife had told
me, I think I was had lunch withmy boss a little bit after
that, and I was like, you know,and I could wrap my head around
Ellsworth as long as I don'thave this baby in a car.
And we were like joking aboutwouldn't that be funny?
Maybe I like willed it intoexistence somehow.
Cause I was like, as long asthat doesn't happen.
But yeah, it was I didn'texpect it.
(44:19):
Now I don't really look at mycar the same.
I'm always like, oh, this iswhere I had a baby.
Super special car now, right?
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, you can't sell it.
I know that's what I was like.
I was like, we have to keepthis car forever.
Angela (44:34):
Oh wow.
Oh my goodness.
So how do you like looking backnow?
How do you feel about likewhere you birthed?
Like in the woods on the side,like at least you were stopped.
Like the car was stopped.
At least Leanne was behind you,right?
Like, how yeah, how do you feellike looking back about that
whole birthing place?
Cathy (44:51):
Yeah, I mean, it was it was so great that Leanne was
there.
And like definitely, like, Ishould have prepared a little
bit more in case of a car birth,you know, had some towels in
the car, but it was reallygreat.
I mean, it was just like it wasreally hard to have those
contractions in the car.
But once I got into like thenon-vocal ones, it was just like
it was dark, it was great, noone was really bothering me.
(45:13):
I liked it.
I mean, we're definitely notplanning on having more kids,
but I would 100% have a homebirth like in the future.
I think I'm much more confidentin my ability to be like, I can
do this like without anyanybody, right?
So, like, I got this, it'sfine.
And so, like, if we were tohave another one, I'd be like,
Yeah, we're definitely stayinghome.
Because it was so fun to alsojust like labor kind of in my
(45:34):
bed leading up to it.
Like, I was like, I don't wantto go in the car for two hours,
right?
Like, it was just like reallygreat.
And it was, I mean, it's nicethat my labors are pretty short.
Like, I've you know, both timesthey weren't like very like
drawn out over a couple of daysor whatever.
But yeah, I think if I was todo it again, it would I would
just stay put at home, whichwould be really nice.
(45:56):
Birth works, yeah, yeah,exactly.
You just like trust yourinstincts and go for it.
I think it just took me alittle time to be like to be
like, oh yeah, I can do this.
I don't need yeah, and and likeyou you want to equip yourself
with the best team, and like Ithink that's one of the great
reasons why like it was so niceto have Leanne.
Like, I really trust in her.
(46:16):
She's had four of her own boys,and you know, it's nice to have
that support.
Um, but it's like you want toput your trust also in medical
professionals too, like they'retrained to do that and stuff,
but sometimes it's like theirfocus is a little bit different
than your focus.
Angela (46:32):
And birth isn't necessarily a medical event, you
know, like until it is, likeit's not, you know, and and
that's great.
Ian had worked as a midwife'sassistant, I think, for quite a
bit too.
So she's just like confidentassisting that, and then more,
you know, so she had some youknow, some experience.
So like you were you were stillin great hands.
Cathy (46:51):
Yeah, I was yeah, I was so happy that she was there.
I was like, You she's got this,we'll be fine.
She was like, You did it, all Idid was catch her.
Angela (47:00):
Like, yeah, that's true.
Nobody really remembers yourbaby, like you birthed your
babies with support, right?
Yeah.
Cathy (47:08):
Yeah, exactly.
Right.
Angela (47:10):
No, after after everything you've been through,
if you were to give advice tosomeone who's expecting, or even
new parents, like what's one ofthe biggest things you'd want
to share right now?
Cathy (47:22):
Yeah, I think you'd be like ready to like go with the
flow, you know, like but liketake your time, like ask all the
questions, ask them two orthree times.
Like, even if someone like kindof brushes them off or like
gives you an answer that likedoesn't make sense to you, like,
like, no, I want to revisitthat.
I want to know what happens inthis like what if scenario.
Like, don't be like, oh, wedon't have to worry about that.
(47:43):
Like, let's talk about it sothat you can be like the most
prepared with like the moreinformation you have, the easier
it is for you to make thosedecisions and and question those
things like when they say,like, oh, this is super
life-threatening to your baby.
Be like, that's not the end ofthe sentence, right?
Like, but what, like, what arethe chances?
You know, if I have all thatinformation, I can make the
(48:03):
decision that's best for like myfamily.
Um, so I think it was likehaving that prepared and like
also having your like supportteam ready to go, like having
those people that's reallysupportive, and not only like
during your labor, but alsoright after.
The one thing that was likedifferent for me this time
postpartum is that my son hadcome so early.
So my parents were planning tocome then too, but they probably
(48:26):
didn't get here until like fourweeks after he was born because
he came early.
But this time around, it waslike I got home and they was
like, they're my parents, whichwas fantastic.
You know, they were taking careof my toddler, which was so
wonderful.
But also for me, I'm like atthat first week, I like, I just
want to walk around liketopless, like my boobs hurt, my
(48:47):
nipples are cracked.
Like, I'm just like, and thenI'm like, oh, there's my dad.
You know, it's just like alittle bit of a different
experience.
Like they're being verysupportive, but I really enjoyed
that like first bit of timewith my son, like just me and my
husband and my son.
It was just like it wasdifficult, it was hard, but we
were like navigating it as afamily of three.
(49:08):
This time it just like feltlike I had so many people in my
house, like my parents werehere, my in-laws just like kept
coming over, and I was like,this is overwhelming.
Like, just for that like firstlike week and a half.
I was just like, I need sometime to like just adjust to
being mom again, like by myselfand like my body's changing
again.
So, like, think about you know,your team both before and
(49:29):
after, you know, have that plan,like what works for you,
everyone will be different andwant support in a different way,
but kind of think through bothoptions.
Angela (49:38):
Yes, it can be really easy to stay focused on like the
birth, which of course is themain event, but don't forget
about postpartum.
Right, yeah, exactly.
Cathy (49:47):
There's so many things that happen there too.
Angela (49:49):
Yeah.
So how has your postpartum beengoing so far?
And it's how old is she now?
Cathy (49:54):
So she's two months, so yeah, she was born on September
1st.
So she was born on Labor Daythis year, but I didn't think
I'd have a September baby.
And her brother is born on wasborn on September 11th.
So their birthdays are only 10days apart.
So yeah, so he's just freshlytwo, and she's two months.
So they're pretty, pretty closebirthdays there, but it's been
(50:15):
going good.
Like I said, that first week, Iwas like, oh yeah, this is, you
know, I was like, my boobs hurtall the time.
She latched great, but it wasjust like a little intense at
first.
But after my milk came in andeverything regulated, it was
like, oh yeah, this is this isfine.
That's going good.
She's a much better sleeperthan he was.
Like even now, she's like, sheonly wakes up at like about two
(50:37):
in the morning.
She'll go to bed at like sevenand wake up at two.
He woke up like every 45minutes.
And I was like, uh, I like fearthe dark when he when he was a
baby.
I was like, oh, it's gettingdark.
He's gonna wake up in every 45minutes until the morning.
But she's great, she's a goodsleeper, so that's made it
really easy.
So now we're just kind ofnavigating the family of four
(50:58):
dynamics, you know.
Him being only two, it's alittle like one minute he's like
love's baby sister, and thenext minute he's giving her a
little tough love slap on theface, but you know, get through
it and we'll get through ittogether.
So it's pretty good.
Angela (51:14):
Yeah, it's a learning process.
Cathy (51:16):
They all they'll figure it out.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, I can see a good goodtime in the you know, future
ahead.
Well, they'll just be likeplaying and I'll be like, yeah,
that'll be wonderful.
Angela (51:26):
So oh, yeah, it happens fast.
So enjoy all those newbornsnuggles while you still got
them.
Yeah, yeah, thanks.
Oh, well, thank you so much,Kathy, for taking the time to
chat with me again and come backand share your second birth
story.
It's incredible.
Yeah, I love it.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
Before you go, I just want toremind you, I have a ton of
(51:50):
resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby, I wantyou to check out the show notes
because I have some freetrainings and free downloads
that you can sign up for, aswell as a link to access my
labor of blogs, a comprehensive,self-based online childbirth
education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
(52:13):
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who your birthingis.
And I'd honestly love to doeverything that I know so that
you can prepare for anautonomous birth experience and
prepare to step into your roleas the leader of your birth
journey.
So, with those show notes,check out all of those links,
(52:33):
and if you ever have anyquestions, feel free to DM me at
MyManeBirth over on Instagram.
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