136. MyMaine Birth: Melanie's Peaceful Home Birth after Healing and Hard Lessons

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Are you a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth?  You’re in the right place! 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Home birth in Maine
• Melanie returns to share her story of a peaceful and uncomplicated home birth after healing from a traumatic first birth experience.  You can listen to Episode 69 of MyMaine Birth to hear Melanie's first birth story.  
• Midwifery care and the importance of putting a lot of thought into choosing your birth team
• ….and a whole lot more!

Additional Resources you’ll LOVE…

MyMaineBirth.com

If you are ready to prepare for an autonomous birth experience, where you’re respected as the authority over your body and your baby…  regardless of where you plan on birthing -
CLICK HERE for 10% off  the MyAutonomous Birth self-paced, online course! 

Not sure where to start?  I’ve got you covered!  Check out my FREE resource, 37 Questions to Ask Your Care Provider.   Whether you’re interviewing new providers or have already established care, this FREE resource offers guidance on important topics to discuss with your provider. 

Episode Transcript

Melanie (00:00):
I mean, they were all like, I think less than 10
minutes apart prettyimmediately, maybe even more
like five minutes apart and withincreasing intensity.
I mean, they just went intolike this whole birth was just
so straightforward.
It was like increasingintensity, contractions closer
and closer together until Ibirthed, you know.

(00:21):
It's just like verystraightforward.

Angela (00:25):
I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced duela, childbirtheducator, and your host here on
the My Maine Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine.
From our state's biggesthospitals to birth center births

(00:45):
and home births, every birthstory deserves to be heard and
celebrated.
Whether you're a stain-to-bemom, a seasoned mother, or
simply interested in the worldof birth, these episodes are for
you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 136of My Main Birth.

(01:06):
Today's birth story guest isMelanie, and Melanie shared her
first birth story back inepisode 69.
So go check that out to hearthe first part of her story.
It was a home birth-turnedhospital transfer that
catapulted her into a deephealing journey between the time
of her son's birth and herdaughter's birth, which ended up

(01:29):
being a straightforward,uncomplicated home birth, and is
the story she's going to besharing with us today.
All right.
Hi Melanie.
Welcome back to my main birth.
Hi.
So for anyone that hasn't heardyour story the first time,
would you start by sharing alittle bit about you and your
family?

Melanie (01:50):
Absolutely.
Wow, where to start?
So we just welcomed ourdaughter.
So now we're a family of four.
I had my son in 2021, September2021.
And um, his name is Aurelio.
We call him Leo.
And now we have Delia, DeliaLuna, who sometimes we call Luna

(02:12):
Bell, that's her littlenickname.
And she was just born inOctober um 2025.
So now here we are.
Um my husband and I live injust outside of Portland in
Maine, and we both runbusinesses.
My husband runs a music studio,and he just opened a second

(02:33):
location downtown, which isreally exciting.
So we have a music studioattached to our house, and now
he has this really coolexpansive state space downtown.
Um, and I run an onlinecoaching business, which
utilizes courses, workshops,retreats, and more to guide

(02:56):
people into expressing theirmagic personally and
professionally.
I have an app with over 150guided rituals.
I function as a mentor and I'malso a trained priestess, which
means that I offer spiritualguidance to those who are
seeking it in any capacity.
And I train and certify coachesas well.

Angela (03:19):
Awesome.
So you shared your first birthstory back in episode 69 of the
podcast.
So for anyone who wants to hearthat full story, you can go
back and listen to that.
But for maybe someone thathasn't heard that one, would you
give like a brief overview ofyour first birth?

Melanie (03:38):
Totally.
Yeah, I mean, it I think itwent how a lot of a lot of first
births and a a lot of a lot ofbirths, frankly, have like seen
this story very um, I feel likeit's super common.
And I've seen a lot of womenwho in my field, like who also
own really successful likespiritual coaching businesses

(04:01):
have a similar story.
So I'm kind of what there's apart of me that wonders like
what it is about the likeambitious nature and like um, I
don't know, just that littleecosystem of yeah, what that
means.
But anyway, we could talk aboutthat another time.
Um, I really wanted a homebirth.

(04:23):
I planned for a home birth.
I labored at home for 50 hours.
And I told my midwives at thetime that like my dream was to
accidentally free birth and likehave them like on their way or
like in another room.
But I really wanted, I wantedthat level of autonomy and um

(04:45):
the physiologic birth.
I wanted that primalexperience, and I also wanted
support.
And I definitely got tooexcited and didn't eat or sleep
as much as I should have inearly labor.
And I ended up with back labor.
So it was just a really long,drawn-out labor.

(05:05):
And at a certain point, when Ireached full dilation, my
midwives encouraged me to docoached pushing and I said no a
few times, but then I was likeso tired, I couldn't keep food
or water down.
So I was really exhausted and Iwas just like, I'm ready to get
this baby out.
But then I pushed for like fourhours or six hours at home and

(05:26):
was not making progress, totallydepleted my energy.
The midwives were like, welegally cannot be here, and your
baby's head is swelling, you'vecap it, which I didn't know
what that was.
I didn't know that it wasnormal.
So it sounded really scary.
So I agreed to a hospitaltransfer.
And I knew going into thehospital, I was like, there's
gonna be intervention, so Imight as well get some relief.

(05:48):
And I could feel how exhaustedI was.
So I was like, if I couldsleep, if I could just nap and
get some fluids, I know I canpush this baby out.
And so I ended up with theepidural and napped for an hour,
got some IV fluids, pushed thebaby out.
So, you know, it it was apretty traumatic experience

(06:09):
because I felt really not in myautonomy.
I felt coerced, not only by themidwives at home who ultimately
later did apologize, but also,of course, by the hospital staff
not respecting my birth plan umor my wishes fully and just
operating as, you know, as Iwould expect them to.

(06:31):
And I went on a really intensePTSD healing journey from that.
But ultimately, I am gratefulthat I had the opportunity not
to go through a traumaticexperience, but to go through a
healing experience like that,because it did unlock parts of
me that would have never beenunlocked before.

(06:52):
And I believe now that we havebirths that we're meant to have
in order to shape us into themothers we're meant to be, and I
am a much more grounded womanwith way more depth and empathy
and just expansiveness than Iwould have ever had.

(07:13):
And my son, of course, benefitsfrom that.
And I actually have a slightlydifferent view of that birth
now, having gone through youknow, what was my ideal home
birth experience, which isreally interesting.
I have a deeper appreciationfor that birth now, which I was
not expecting.

Angela (07:34):
Yeah, that's the interesting piece right there.
Like the even if it's not themost positive experience, like
what comes after that can reallylike open doors to places,
yeah, that might not have beenopened before.

Melanie (07:48):
Yeah.
Yeah, I think if we allow birthto be an invitation into just
expansiveness in all levels,because that is what's act of us
uh asked of us physically, butif we allow it to be that
emotionally and mentally, andyou know, there's all of the
rhetoric online of like let likesurrender to birth and let

(08:10):
yourself be brought to the edgesof who you think you are.
And it's much easier to do thatwith a super straightforward
six-hour birth that goes exactlyhow you want it to.
It's much harder to do thatwhen you're met with challenges
and um when interventionshappen.
Um, and I think that if we dosign up for that journey, and

(08:37):
then we are given theopportunity of the harder birth
experience, there can be morereward.
And that's not something that Isee talked about nearly enough
because it's more seen like afailing on the part of the mom
or the birth team.
And it's almost as if theeasier, more effortless,

(08:58):
blissful birth you have, thebetter of a person or better of
a woman or stronger of a womanyou are.
And it says something about whoyou are.
But in fact, like having hadthe blissful, dreamy,
straightforward, super simplehome birth and a more
challenging home birth transferthat's ended in intervention.
I mean, way more was requiredof me for the challenging birth.

(09:22):
And I did have a substantialreward for what that meant on
the personal development journeyon the other side of that,
which was really something tosit with.

Angela (09:35):
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, there's a lot there.
And I think it's reallyinteresting what you said also
in the beginning, how you thinkthat this that story is common
and you hear other people sharelike similar stories.
Because I'm also been hearingsince you shared your first
birth story on the podcast,multiple women have come to me.
And but like Melanie's story,like I resonate with her story

(09:56):
so much, like that same thingkind of happened to me, and it's
heartbreaking, you know,because that uh that's that's a
hard, hard thing to go tothrough.
But yeah, the the power and andhealing from that is yeah,
deep.

Melanie (10:09):
So I'm so glad that that it's that it's helped
people.
And I do think that there iswhat part of what made it so
traumatic, and perhaps part ofwhat has resonated deeply with
other women, my guess, is thatis the expectations that we hold
coming into birth, and again,what we make birth mean in terms

(10:30):
of who we are and howego-shattering that can be.
And not only the physicaltrauma being present or the
provider trauma being present,but also just the um ecosystem
that we've all created and andgood efforts of like wanting to

(10:50):
liberate women of oppressive,overly medical systems of care
for birth.
But that has also meant thatwomen like myself, perhaps like
these other women, who then feelso aligned with a certain type
of experience and then don'treceive it, it does feel like an
individual failing rather thana failing of the system.

(11:12):
Andor maybe it's not ever afailing at all, and it's just
what it is supposed to be, andit's always just an invitation
into expansiveness.

Angela (11:24):
Yeah, absolutely.
Now, jumping into your secondbirth story, would you start by
sharing how you found out youwere pregnant for the second
time?
And yeah, like what yourthoughts were on choosing your
care after like your firstbirth.

Melanie (11:40):
Oh, yeah.
So actually, this is such amagical component of this.
So, my son, we conceived himsomewhat unintentionally, like
it was our one time where wewere like, let's see what
happens.
And it was like the it was theum winter solstice.
And so we were like, this ismagical, let's see what happens.

(12:01):
And like I we even usedprotection later in the month.
So we kind of like swung.
We're like, no.
I mean, it was still likepandemic time, so it was a
stress, very stressful time tobe pregnant, but um yeah, we we
we weren't really intentionallytrying with that, and I did get
pregnant.
And then um, with Delia with mydaughter, we knew we wanted to

(12:24):
have two kids.
I felt so strongly to the pointof like anxiety that I really
wanted to mother a daughter.
Like I just was like, I feelthis in my bones.
It's something I've alwayswanted.
I love my son deeply, and I'mso grateful for the opportunity
to mother a son, especially inour world.
I think it's an incredible giftto help shaping the future and

(12:49):
and to have that opportunity.
And I also just I'm such agirl's girl.
So it's like I just really Iwant some of that energy too.
And I had also been told byevery psychic I went to growing
up that I would have a boy andthen a girl, which is why, like

(13:09):
this is like four or five timeslike I was told this by
psychics.
So I just could feel it in mybones.
My husband and I knew we wantedto space out the kids long
enough for my son to haveconsciousness of like what's
going on and to not feelabandoned and to also for us as
parents to be able to give morefully to the newborn and not

(13:32):
feel like we're torn in multipledirections at once more than we
need to.
So we waited a while.
And I had been tracking mycycle for about six months
before we started trying to getpregnant because I wanted to do
the baby dust method, which issimilar to the Shuttles method.
My parents did this with me.

(13:52):
They really wanted a wintergirl, so they were super
diligent about tracking my mom'scycle.
They conceived me on Earth Day.
Like magical like timing ofeverything.
And um, my cousin Willow alsodid this with her kids, where
she wanted a girl and then aboy, and so did this method.
And so I read the baby deskmethod book and was tracking my

(14:16):
cycle.
And it just and I knew I wantedif I could, if I could create
this, I was very hopeful ofhaving a Libra girl.
So specific.
But I just I my best friendsgrowing up were Libra energy.
My grandmother is a Libra, whoDelia is named after.
And I just love that energy.
And so I knew if I could have aLibra girl, one, I knew we

(14:40):
would get along really well.
Like we're gonna be bestfriends forever because I've
always gotten along with Libragirls.
And I just think that it's areally it's a harmonious energy,
it's like healing.
So I was like, if I'm gonnahave a Libra girl, I have to get
pregnant in January.
And it just so happened thatthe timing, because to have a

(15:02):
girl according to the baby deathmethod, you conceive the baby
three to four days beforeovulation.
And it just so happened thatfour days or three days before
ovulation in January was mybirthday.
So I had actually alreadyplanned this birthday ceremony

(15:24):
with my friends.
Um, we had sound healing withDr.
Lisa from Higher Ground Women'sHealth.
Shout out to her.
She's an incredible um primarycare doctor who also does sound
healing.
She's the perfect, perfect mixof like woo-woo and also really
grounded, like legit medicine.
And she came and did our soundhealing.

(15:45):
And I told my friends, I waslike, we're conceiving a girl
today.
This is this is the time.
So I was just like showered inin blessings and ceremony, and
um it was so special.
And we conceived our daughterthat night.
It's like so, I feel so lucky.
I think it's a a mix of of luckand genes.

(16:07):
My grandmother got pregnant onher wedding night.
Like we just have these genesand um, you know, and an
intention and care in terms ofconnecting to my body.
Um, and so yeah, we conceivedElia on my birthday.
So when I found out I waspregnant, I tested at the
earliest possible time.

(16:28):
And I actually felt theimplantation happening when I
was walking around Hannaford.
I was like in the cheesesection, I was like, oh my gosh,
I think something's happening.
And my first symptom was Ibroke out in hives, which didn't
happen with my son.
And that was pretty intense.
Like I had hives all over mychest and my breast and my hips.

(16:49):
It was like very weird, butapparently that's a a rare
symptom that can happen.
And um yeah, we, you know, myhusband was like very sure that
he was like, Oh yeah, we're thisis it, you're gonna be
pregnant.
And I was like, you know, Ididn't want to count my
chickens, but um, yeah, itwasn't it wasn't a surprise, but

(17:10):
it was a delight.
And um yeah, I I still feel so,so incredibly blessed and lucky
with that.

Angela (17:19):
Wow, that's really cool.

Melanie (17:22):
Yeah.

Angela (17:23):
Yeah.

Melanie (17:23):
Um so what were your thoughts in choosing your care?
I knew I wanted to find thelike oldest, wisest witch in the
woods I could find.
That was the energy that I wasreally putting out there,
especially because our midwiveslast time were younger, they're
like our age.
And I was like feeling this.

(17:44):
I I suppose I had thismisconception that having a
younger midwife would mean thatthey were a little more on the
like up to date on some of themore recent ideas in terms of
birth and what birth could mean.
Like I had this idea thatsomebody who was more
experienced would be moreconservative, somebody who was

(18:06):
newer would be more like openabout all the different ways
birth could go.
And that is such a horriblemisconception.
I have no idea where that camefrom because it's the uh totally
the opposite, I think.
And so I knew I wanted to findsomebody who was just like super
comfortable with birth andconfident about birth and
trusted birth and had beenaround the block.

(18:27):
And there was a handful ofmidwives I was looking at, and
all of them were like retiringor like on sabbatical.
And I was like, what is goingon?
Like, and Sam, my husband, waslike, well, maybe you're gonna
have your free birth.
And I was like open, totallyopen to it.
And I love that he was, I mean,you know, how blessed am I to
have a husband that was so opento it?

(18:48):
But um, I could just feel likethere was a part of me that just
really wanted to have thatsense of like support so that I
could fully relax into theprocess, knowing that if I
needed somebody, somebody wasthere.
So I found Heidi, who ran themidwifery school here in Maine
until it closed a few years ago,and ran the birth house in

(19:12):
Bridgeton until it closed likelast year.
So she's getting ready toretire.
And she said she was onlytaking on clients she'd worked
with before, like a few selectpeople, only, you know, moms
who'd have previous had previousbabies.
And I wrote her an email letterexplaining my last birth
experience and my vision forwhat I wanted for this birth,

(19:35):
and also saying, like, you know,so many people are seeming to
be retiring or like onsabbatical, like I just don't
really know what options thereare.
And and she responded, she'slike, you know, I I feel like I
am actually the best fit foryou, so I'll take you on.
And so she made an exceptionand took me on as a patient.

(19:56):
And um yeah, I mean, it wasreally cool working with her.
She's attended over 1200births, and so she really knows
her stuff and is very trustingand seemed to have a pretty um
like I could feel from her, sheonly wanted to work with me if I
too trusted birth.

(20:16):
She's like, I as a midwife, Icould feel her energy was just
she's tired of working withpeople who are like anxious and
and don't want to commit fullyto the process and trepidatious.
And she really wants to workwith people who were like

(20:38):
willing to just ride whereverbirth takes them and be fully
surrendered and um committed toto home birth.
Um, and so you know, I justthink we were a good fit for
each other.
And she is super cool, like shecreates all of her own herbal
medicines.
She's an herbalist and she runsa little like farm stand out of

(20:58):
her house.
And so we'd go over to herhouse for prenatal visits and
she'd like give me heads oflettuce from her garden and you
know, tinctures and and salvesthat she had made, and there's
like always something canning inher kitchen.
Like, um, you know, she wasfeeding Leo like blueberries off
of her bush and um just areally sweet, um connected to

(21:23):
nature energy, which was perfectfor us.

Angela (21:27):
That's pretty neat.
So when did you start care withher?
Like how early in yourpregnancy were you?

Melanie (21:34):
I reached out to her pretty early because I wanted to
make sure that I found somebodythat I was aligned with because
so much of what I, you know,felt harmed by last time wasn't
the experience of birth itself,but the way in which I was
supported and so or notsupported.
And I yeah, I must have reachedout to her pretty early on,

(21:55):
like six, seven weeks pregnant,you know, like pretty soon after
I found out.
And I think our first visitmust have been, you know, 10
weeks, 12 weeks, something inthere, like pretty standard.
And, you know, we follow thestandard protocol.
I mean, she has done a lot ofwork, to my understanding, in

(22:17):
creating some of the legislationaround licensed midwifery care.
So in a lot of ways, or all ofthe ways, she follows the
general, like the guidelines ofmidwifery care in the state
because she helped shape them.
So it was pretty, you know, itwas the standard midwifery care

(22:37):
in terms of how often I wasseeing her.
But what I really liked abouther is she, you know, she,
because I'd been through apregnancy before, she was very
open to me doing whatever testsI did or didn't want to do.
You know, she was okay if Ididn't want to do an ultrasound
or if I wanted to do lots ofthem or whatever.
She was very open to me justbeing in full autonomy over the

(23:02):
decisions I made, which wasgreat because I had already made
up my mind around what I wantedto do.
And um, and that was yeah,super helpful.
And ultimately, I think shejust, yeah, it feels like she
held the energy of like, I needyou to fully trust yourself, you

(23:22):
know, like you just have to bein self-trust in order for me to
show up and support you to thebest of my ability.
And that's such a cool energyfor a midwife to hold.

Angela (23:33):
Yeah, I think that's so important and also like great
advice for other mothers, too,to you know, kind of lean into.
So, how are you feelingthroughout your pregnancy?

Melanie (23:44):
Oh man, the hardest part of this whole journey was
my first trimester because I wason the hyperemesis spectrum.
So I didn't leave my bed for atleast eight weeks.
It was rough.
I was doing like Zoom calls,coaching calls from my bed, and
just like really, really badenergy.
Like it just was so sick.

(24:06):
And I actually ended up takingthe Unison B6 combo, even though
I really try not to take verymuch at all.
And so that was like a big,like I don't even really take
Tylenol or Advil very often orlike cold medicine.
Like I'm more of a like gingerlemon tea kind of girl.
Though I will, of course, like,you know, if real medicine,

(24:31):
like modern medicine is needed,I will absolutely sign on to it.
But like, um, yeah, that was abig deal for me.
I felt so sick.
And um yeah, it was just hardon our family because I wasn't
able to mother in the same way.
Sam was doing all of the childcare for our three-year-old at

(24:52):
the time, he was three, and itwas just really rough.
Like I had I really struggledkeeping food and water down.
So it was a couple of times itwas a little scary.
Thankfully, I never had to behospitalized, but I think that's
because I stayed horizontal forso much of it.
Like, I think if I had had togo into an office for work, or

(25:16):
I'd had to like, if I was soloparenting, like stay-at-home
mom, like I think I would haveended up in a much more
challenging situationphysically.
But because my business is soflexible, I set up my business
to allow a lot of spaciousnessin motherhood.
I also set up my businessspecifically with that timing,
knowing that I might have beensick because I was sick with my

(25:38):
son as well, though not thissick.
Um, I kind of anticipated it.
I'd hoped it wouldn't happen,but I did.
Thankfully, I did end upturning the corner in the second
trimester, which was really,really nice.
But I never in this pregnancyfelt like, you know how some
women are like, I had moreenergy than I've ever had, or I

(25:59):
felt totally normal in my secondtrimester.
I didn't even feel pregnant.
Like I never had that.
I had symptoms throughout thiswhole pregnancy.
I had like pregnancy rhinitis,which is inflammation of the um
of the nasal passages, and Istill have it a little bit four
weeks postpartum.
Um, and I was nauseous on andoff and just fatigue and I'm I

(26:26):
heartburn, you know, like all ofthe run-of-the-mill symptoms.
So, but I was able to likefunction in my second and third
trimester, which was a gift.

Angela (26:38):
Yeah, it can definitely be a roller coaster.
I I almost sometimes wonder ifit's like there's a difference
between the boys and the girlsand the girl hormones and how
that affects you, but then youhear different stories from
everybody.
So it's like, who knows?
Right.

Melanie (26:50):
Yeah, honestly, I don't know.
And there's all these differenttheories about hypermisis and
like having deficiencies orhaving, you know, certain things
going on.
But I just did all of I likethe summer before I got pregnant
with Dr.
Lisa, I did all of my bloodwork.
I did um like really intensivehormone testing, the Dutch test.

(27:11):
I did um a GI test.
Like I did a huge like tune-upof my whole system.
And actually, we found somethings that I was able to heal,
which was really good.
But I but so I knew going intothe like I had there were no
more imbalances.
Like I'd done prevented orpreemptively, I wanted to be in
like really good shape forpregnancy.

(27:32):
So I'd done all of this likeintegrative health work.
So I've, you know, I think it'sjust like luck and the body
responding to differenthormones, and some people
respond more intensively thanthan others.

Angela (27:50):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
So I think at some point duringyour pregnancy, maybe it was
like as you're getting into yoursecond trimester, the whole
thing that started to come outabout like free birth and the
free birth society and all ofthose things circulating around
there.
Did that mess with you at all?
Or like what were your thoughtson that as that was kind of

(28:11):
like unfolding, like while youwere pregnant?

Melanie (28:13):
To be honest, because of what happened in my first
birth and how horrid I feltabout myself, uh like having had
a birth, home birth transferand all the rhetoric in
communities like that aroundthat being some kind of failure,
like you didn't trust yourselfenough, you didn't advocate
enough.
Like that's maybe notexplicitly said, but it is

(28:35):
absolutely the underlying toneof so much of the messaging.
I had already distanced myselffrom communities like that, and
I was very, very particularabout where I was sourcing
birth-related inspirational andeducational material in this
pregnancy because I did not wantto get trapped into a toxic

(28:56):
positivity space like I wasbefore.
And so, I mean, I I'm actuallynot even fully like up to date
on everything that's happened.
I've seen some things thatyou've reposted and some things
that have like I've talked toother friends who have been in
and out of the space.
But by the time I was pregnantwith Delia, because of the

(29:16):
healing journey I did from myfirst birthing experience, I was
already like in a totallydifferent relationship with
birth education.

Angela (29:26):
That's good.
Yeah.
So, what kind of things did youdo to prepare?
Like what things were youlistening to throughout this
pregnancy?

Melanie (29:34):
Yeah, to be honest, a lot of what I did to prepare was
just my own individual innerwork because I, you know, I read
all the books and did all thethings like with my first birth.
And it, you know, I'm surehelped in some capacity, but
also harmed in many capacitiestoo.
And I was kind of just like, Iwant to, I already know like

(29:58):
what I need to know.
And I just really want to gointo this birth, really anchored
into my own energy and theenergy of this baby and with as
little expectations as possible.
But I did listen to some, Ire-listened to some of the um
Aina May's Guide to Childbirth,um, with some of the birth

(30:21):
stories there.
And I also read, this was likethe one book I was like gonna
read was Labor Like a Goddess,which my friend had recommended
to me before I got pregnantbecause she had read it during
her pregnancy, which was aftermy first pregnancy.
And there were parts of thisbook that like were triggering
for me because of my firstexperience that did have some of

(30:44):
the same rhetoric around likethe the more that you care about
how your birth experience isgoing to unfold, the less likely
it is to unfold the way youwant it to.
But also you have to have abirth plan and know what you
want and advocate for what youwant.
And I'm like, oh my God, thisis like such like it drives it's
like driving me crazy becauseit's yeah, just so much of it

(31:08):
feels like an oxymoron.
It's like how is all of thistrue at the same time?
But there are two things that Ireally liked in that book uh
that I carried with me.
One was the energetic birthplan, which I had actually used
with clients like way back whenI first started my business and
I worked with women on theirrelationship to their bodies.
There's this thing with theenergetic birth plan that's like

(31:31):
come up with the experience youwant but then find the energy
behind it.
And that's what you anchorinto.
So it could be like I want togo into labor naturally.
So I don't want to have aninduction but what is the energy
of that?
It's that I want to feelconnected to my body.
And then when you focus on theenergy of that even if an
induction happens, you can stillfeel connected to your body.

(31:53):
So I like how it anchors intothe energy of what you want that
can be transposed onto variouscircumstances so that you don't
feel like you're losing theenergetic experience that you
want to have.
And I think that would havebeen really helpful for me first
time around.
So I did carry that with me inthis birth.
And then also the surprisefairy I love this so whimsical

(32:13):
like the surprise fairy visitsevery birth and the more that
you resist the surprise fairythe more dust you're going to
receive where that is if youwelcome her then you know you're
just going to have a littledusting.
And so um I thought that thatwas a pretty like funny
whimsical thing to invite in.
So I was like I can invite inthe surprise.

(32:35):
So I carried that with me aswell.
I did do um some reading ofOrgasmic birth and listening to
the orgasmic birth podcast andopening myself up to what that
experience could be and invitingin pleasure into the birth
experience seeing birth as anextension of a sexual sensual

(32:57):
experience which was a reallycool frame of mind for me to be
in um and and I created a visionboard I actually had it I
brought all my birth stuff withme so I wouldn't forget
anything.
I have this I created thisvision board on Pinterest I can
send it to you if you want butum yeah I I really wanted to be

(33:21):
in the energy of like what Ideemed the enchanted forest just
this like wild unknown andanything can happen but all of
it is magical and some of itmight feel scary but it still is
enchanting and um that was theenergy I was really cultivating.
But some of the things that Iare on here was talking about

(33:44):
how contractions are spiralicand anchoring into um welcoming
in the pressure and welcoming inthe intensity rather than
resisting it and yeah trustingthe magic of of the womb and

(34:04):
being in a like on here it saysit's a beautiful day to give
birth you know just it's likeanchoring into like it's it's
all so beautiful and wonderfuland um even if it looks
challenging or scary.
And I had continued workingwith my therapist who I found
postpartum with my son.

(34:26):
She's a midwife but also aclinical therapist and she
helped me heal my PTSD and Icontinued working with her um
less um with less consistentwell no it was consistent but
like not as frequently as I hadbeen previously but working with
her throughout my pregnancy wasreally really helpful too since

(34:49):
she had helped me with myhealing journey from my first
and could help me prepare for mysecond with the wisdom of a
therapist and a midwife.

Angela (35:00):
Yeah and she was online right I think I remember you
talking about her in your firstone she's yeah not in Maine
right no she lives in Australia.

Melanie (35:07):
I found her because she had done this workshop on uh
the detrimental effects onsocial media of social media on
pregnant women and their birthexperiences.
Wow so did you also were youdoing some pelvic fluorotherapy
leading yeah so physically I didyeah I did prepare a lot

(35:28):
physically and I hadn't done asmuch of that with my first and
because I'd had back labor Ireally and I've had like a side
joint lingering low back painfor years until um like I did
chiropractic care and then Iwent to my friend Victoria who's
an acupuncturist and in onesession she knocked it out.
I have no idea what she did butit was magic.

(35:51):
But yeah I I really wanted toprevent back labor again.
So I did continued acupuncturewith Victoria I did chiropractic
care the chiropractor I go touse the Webster technique and I
did go to pelvic floor therapywith Emily from Public Wisdom
who I'd seen postpartum with myson and she is pure magic.
We did three sessions with her.

(36:12):
So I did two sessions on my ownfor her to just like make sure
everything was open and unlockedand aligned.
And then my husband and I wentin for a session where she
helped show him different wayshe could support me physically
with with positioning andholding me in different ways.
And she guided us through whatI she called I think a

(36:34):
meditation I would call ashamanic journey.
Helped him feel more confidentand secure in supporting me

(36:56):
because we did essentially arehearsal with her and helped me
feel really safe and held byhim.
So that was stellar I honestlywould recommend everybody to do
that.

Angela (37:09):
Yeah that's incredible.

Melanie (37:11):
I think I've heard other women talk about that is
that her birth portal experienceI think she calls it or that
sounds like what she would callit yeah yeah and I did a
mother's blessing too with mywith my friends who all happen
to be you know intuitive witchysacred minded women and um yeah

(37:34):
that was a really specialexperience in in having that
blessing way mother's blessingum to set up the energy for
myself and feel really heldgoing into birth.
Yeah amazing so how are thosefinal weeks and then days

(37:54):
leading up to when your laborstarted looking like for you
yeah I went into like fullhermit mode I it was almost like
it wasn't the first trimesteragain because I didn't feel sick
but I did feel reallyexhausted.
And so all I wanted to do waslay in bed and thankfully I
could I took I started mymaternity leave four weeks

(38:14):
before my due date and so I hadall of this spaciousness and my
son went back to school in thatthe first few days or week after
I started my maternity leave.
So that was really nice.
I had a lot of time by myselfand that's what I wanted I just
wanted a lot of time by myself.
I felt the very primal drive tobe in dark spaces alone like a

(38:39):
cat goes into a closet to birththat was that was my energy.
And I did have my cousin Isiscome out and she stayed with us
for a month.
So she came out two weeksbefore my due date and left two
weeks after and she's aphysician's assistant and so she
you know is somebody who hasseen a lot of different physical

(39:03):
experiences and isn't phased bythings and is you know a member
of the family.
And so she was cooking andhelping me clean out the closet
and clean out the fridge and allof the nesting stuff she helped
me with leading up to the birththat I wanted to get done.
Yeah and the final few daysright before birth I was pretty

(39:26):
antsy but also really trying tobe patient.
I went five days past my duedate which I was trying to you
know not think too much aboutknowing that that was still in
the realm of normal but I'd forwhatever reason I'd had in my
mind I was going to go before mydue date.
I just was like I felt thislike I'm gonna go before my due

(39:46):
date and I actually went intowhat I would classify as
prodromal labor like the weekbefore.
So I was having prettyconsistent regular contractions
that would stop when I would laydown.
And so they weren't like reallyprogressing much.
I would like I lost like bitsof my mucus plug over that week

(40:08):
and I would have I had a lot oflike um lightning crotch like I
could just feel her I could feelDelia like really deepening
into my pelvic bowl and I wasgetting pretty like exhausted of
just the weight like I rememberthe last 24 hours I was like I

(40:28):
am so done it just was like Ifelt so heavy and um she was so
low in in the canal already andI was just like this is so
intense and I'm so exhausted.
So I was pretty I was prettyready for birth to happen.

Angela (40:47):
So how did things get started?

Melanie (40:51):
Yeah I woke up at 1 a.m um which was and is still
happening like I throughout mypregnancy was already in the
newborn routine like waking upevery two or three hours
sometimes even up for two orthree hours in the middle of the
night and then I fell backasleep for a little bit and I

(41:11):
rolled over like half awake halfasleep and like felt a shift
and then I felt the water likebegin to trickle and then I
stood up immediately because Ididn't want to soak my bed and
so my water had had broken.
And I had spent like that wholeweek in prodromal labor just
really trying to kickstartlabor.
So I done all the oxytocinactivities and spicy food and

(41:35):
the miles circuit and spinningbaby stretches.
So like she was really engagedand I was all like the oxytocin
was flowing like I was justalready in it.
And um I'd been like spendingmost of my time in the like you
know with the peanut ball theflying cowgirl position and so
that's a good one.

(41:56):
Yeah it was really good.
I highly recommend everybodyhave their own peanut ball.
They're only like $25 online.
They're really inexpensive andit was such a helpful tool to
get her into the right position.
I truly think that like thepositioning work I did in the
final weeks of labor made all ofthe difference with my second
versus my first especiallybecause I didn't have back labor

(42:18):
the second time around but yeahmy water broke I called my
husband and I was like it mywater broke and so he came and
because I was actually bedsharing with my son.
So my husband moved my he myhusband was sleeping in another
room to get better sleep notnext to a toddler so my husband

(42:39):
ended up moving my toddlertrying to settle him down.
I called my midwife and I alsocalled my in-laws because they
were on call to take my son totheir house and I also let ISIS
know she was staying in theapartment that we had we have
like an um additional unit abovethe former garage which is now

(43:00):
the music studio so we have anapartment in the house so she
was staying over there.
So I let everybody know and thecontractions pretty much
started like immediately andwere intense with increasing
intensity and after about anhour Sam got Leo settled and I
was like in it.

Angela (43:19):
It was happening I really do think that that
contributes a lot to preparingyour body to really go right
into it you know when you have alot of predomining up to like
when your labor like for realstarts you know yeah yeah I
would I would hope that it wasdoing something my made my
midwife was like just don't tellshe's like don't tell yourself

(43:40):
you're in labor it's not labor.

Melanie (43:42):
Like don't even call it predromal labor.
She's like she didn't want meto like get in my head about it
I think or to get too excited.
She's like this could go on forweeks.
I was like oh my gosh yeah andI actually during that time
because I had been taking redraspberry leaf tea and doing
evening primrose oil appliedlike to my cervix and also

(44:05):
partridge berry tincture whichmy midwife had made and
recommended and she was like youshould just like pause she's
like you all of those things areworking like maybe too well.
So so then I shifted from thatand focused on just the
positioning work and resting.
But yeah I mean it all I thinkit all contributed to letting

(44:27):
labor just really kick into gearsuper quickly.
Yeah so because a lot of soyou're water broke and then the
contraction started prettyregularly is that yeah yeah I
mean they were all like I thinkless than 10 minutes apart
pretty immediately maybe evenmore like five minutes apart and
with increasing intensity Imean they just went into like

(44:49):
this whole birth was just sostraightforward it was like
increasing intensitycontractions closer and closer
together until it I birthed youknow it's just like very
straightforward.

Angela (45:03):
Yeah so how did that morning go?
Like when did your midwives getthere?

Melanie (45:08):
Yeah so I Sam finally got Leo settled down and then
came into our bedroom and I wassinging um this song that's like
I'm holding these keys in mywomb and my womb.
It's just like a chant likerepetitive and I had this whole
playlist of repetitive chantingmusic like songs by like a

(45:31):
beautiful chorus and similarartists that were just very easy
to anchor into and meditativeand so I'd been kind of just
singing and breathing throughthe contractions um about an
hour in you know I was like SamI need you here and so then ISIS
went and hung out with Leo tohelp keep him asleep because he

(45:54):
was having a hard time havingtransferred out of our bed and
so then Sam was with me and Ithink about an hour after that I
could feel myself get nonverballike before that I was still
able to like talk and I waspresent and we were joyful and
connecting and then I just likethere was this sudden shift
where I was suddenly like I'mnot able to like really focus on

(46:17):
conversation anymore I'm notsinging anymore.
I'm just kind of like I enteredlabor land and so I felt when
that happened and I said okaynow you should call Heidi I was
like I just felt myself getnonverbal time to call the
midwife and then we applied thetens machine which 10 out of 10
recommend.

(46:37):
That was such a helpful toolthat I recommend to everybody.
I wish I'd had it in my firstbirth and it was helpful because
I was able to increase theintensity of the electromagnetic
stimulation when thecontractions were getting more
intense and it gave my brainsomething else to focus on and

(46:59):
it kind of it felt like it justbalanced out the intensity of
the contraction and allowed meto relax more into the
contractions because I wasn'tfocused so much on how painful
they were.
And I also had the labor comb.
So I had like the TENS machineremote in one hand the labor
comb in the other I was umrotating between leaning forward
on my peanut ball, sitting onthe edge of the bed and then

(47:22):
sitting on the birth ball and Ialso had the birth sling wrapped
around my torso, which I loved.
I used that throughout mypregnancy too um and those were
the only positions I did and Ihad this whole plan like of
doing all these differentpositions I was just it was just
those three on repeat that feltgood.
And at a certain point Istarted throwing up which you

(47:45):
know I expected because thathappened with my first and so
then it was just a matter oflike trying to continue to have
some fluid.
So I had my husband bring meice chips I had some apple
juice.
I was just trying to like makesure I stayed as hydrated and
nourished as possible.
And then Heidi arrived and shekind of just stayed you know she

(48:06):
stayed in the next room like Ireally wanted it to feel very
intimate with me and my husbandand she knew that going into it
I actually created I had abinder of my birth plan and like
a whole not just like my birthplan of if I had to transfer to
the hospital, which I did dothat as well but I had like a
whole write up of like here'show to support me like here's

(48:29):
what I want and don't want.
And I made sure everybody hadum had a copy of it like
literally a binder.
And um you know I made sure Ihad like an insane amount of
support tools available and Ilisted them all here so
everybody knew like what theycould offer me, knew how to talk
to me.
Like it says um one of thethings I wrote on this is if it

(48:52):
seems like I need to change thevibe, move positions, get at my
strength or shift my energy,remind me to sing or dance.
And I also respond well to agood old fashioned heartfelt pep
talk give me lots ofcompliments like like all of the
things of what I want to say,what I'd like to be offered in
terms of food and nourishment.

(49:13):
Like I didn't want anybody towhen offering me recommendation
phrase it of what does yourintuition say about this rather
than like do you want to dothis?
Yeah.
So phrasing it with theintuition being the like
invitation inviting choicemaker.
And then all of my tools so Ihad my TENS machine I had

(49:36):
aromatherapy oil rose waterheating pad labor combs ice pack
I had a labor position guidebirth ball peanut ball shower
tub audiobooks two differentplaylists massage acupressure
fan so much that I wanted peopleto be aware of that we could
use and we ended up using hardlyany of it just the tens machine

(50:00):
the birth sling the peanut ballthe birth ball the labor combs
and then the tub yeah oh that'scool.

Angela (50:08):
Yeah I love how the birth really can help support
you in those more uprightpositions.
So it really can help bringbaby down like and still like
you're comfortable and supportedlike and your husband's arms
are still like intact right liketotally yeah it was helpful for
me to just like be able to leanforward in a way that I
wouldn't have been able tootherwise and that actually I I

(50:32):
think who it helped the most wasactually Heidi because she was
able to get the Doppler in theremuch more easily with me
feeling relaxed as much aspossible.
Yeah yeah it's so important.
Yeah and I think when I heardyou share this story on your
podcast you mentioned about likegoing into the discomfort like

(50:54):
during your labor.
Do you talk a little bit moreabout that?
Because I think that is soimportant and like you can
really be you know like oh nothat doesn't feel good and like
kind of shy away from that butit's like going into that
discomfort.
Yeah like what were yourthoughts on that?

Melanie (51:08):
For whatever reason that was not something that was
in my awareness in my firstferthing experience and I wish
it was because of the back laborI really was trying to like I
was trying to relax into thecontractions but I couldn't
because my back was likespasming on the you know second
half of each contraction and Iwas trying everything I could to

(51:30):
not feel that pain because itdidn't feel productive and maybe
it was maybe it wasn't but likeI just was like this is not
good and and I just was notsurrendering to that pain
because it didn't feel likequote right and then this time
around I was like whatever thepain however it shows up I
shouldn't have an idea of likewhat it should or shouldn't feel

(51:52):
like it should just be likethis is the intensity and I'm
gonna meet it.
And actually Athena mytherapist midwife shared a story
of a birth she'd attended of awoman who just it was I think
the first birth she attended andshe said you know she was just
in awe of how this woman hadlike ridden the waves of each
contraction and just fully letit consume her and take her and

(52:15):
um there was something in thatstory that you know struck me.
And and then I was also justseeing more in what I was
consuming in terms of birthinformation mostly on Pinterest
I guess of like reallysurrendering to the intensity of
of each thing and of eachcontraction and sensation.

(52:39):
And so I had opened myself upto the idea that birth may not
be painful especially in theorgasmic birth community and
like wanting to invite inpleasure which I fully attempted
to do and I did not have anorgasmic birth.
That's okay I'm notdisappointed about it.

(53:00):
But it it was incrediblypainful.
And that's okay you know Ithink that's often what what
birth is and um I invited it inand I just met I met the
intensity of each contractionreminding myself like the more
intense it is, the further alongI'm getting the more pressure
and pain I feel that's thecloser I am to meeting my baby.

(53:24):
And I vocalized yes throughoutthe contractions especially when
I would feel myself resistingor I would actually start to say
like no or like I would startto get into a negative
relationship with it.
My husband was really goodabout reminding me he's like say
yes this is good this isproductive you are safe like he
did a really good job remindingme of all of that.

(53:45):
So I would I would vocalize yeslike I was in the birth tub at
a certain point when things wereyou know pretty far along like
I waited until close to the veryend to get in the tub because I
I feel like I got in the tubway too early with my son and
that actually stalled things.
I got too comfortable so Iwaited and I actually thought

(54:06):
the birth tub was going to bringme more relief because it did
with my son.
It didn't it just everythingwas just still very intense but
when I was in the birth tub veryclose to the end of like you
know I think I was probablypushing around at this point
like I just was like yes likejust like roaring out yes and so

(54:27):
intensely like it was um yeahthroughout the birth I was
actually just making as manyprimal low sounds as I could and
that was super helpful and alsomaking eye contact with my
husband was really helpful.
Just locking in with him oreven Heidi a few times when my
husband was like I don't knowwhat he was doing taking care of

(54:50):
himself probably getting wateror something.
But yeah all in all it was onlysix hours which you know was a
lot shorter than my 50 hour pluslabor and it just felt very
straightforward.
And so I got in the birth tuband then at a certain point I
was like I feel like I have topoop and Heidi was like you're

(55:10):
probably pushing and I was likeno I swear I have to poop she's
like I don't think you do and Ididn't I was I was pushing and I
actually don't even like Ididn't have with either my son
or my daughter the experience oftransition like I didn't have
that moment of like I can't dothis or like this is the worst

(55:33):
it's getting like I it was justkind of increasing intensity but
I never had the like whenpeople talk about transition I
just I don't know I neverresponded to that portion of
labor in that way.
It was just all kind of intenseand yeah and then I I started
feeling you know like I waspushing and I was really

(55:56):
intentional about pushing herout really slowly because I
could feel she was a big babyand I didn't want to tear.
And so I was like I pushed herout with I not very forceful
pushes like I really tried tojust let my body push her out
rather than me like workingreally hard to push her out I
just tried to let the ejectionreflex take over as much as

(56:17):
possible.
And yeah she was a big babyalmost 10 pounds.

Angela (56:22):
So yeah what was it did you give like a few pushes or
does she kind of just emergewith the contraction so how'd
that yeah I did push I mean tobe honest like it was kind of
hard to tell the differencebetween like I was I had the
urge to push.

Melanie (56:40):
I remember with Leo and I had the epidural but I could
still feel my body just pushinghim out.
Like I actually I obviouslywasn't actively trying to push
very much with that but I couldlike it really felt I felt the
fetal ejection reflex with himand with her it was more of a
like my body is telling me topush not like my body's pushing

(57:00):
on its own.
So that was a differentsensation.
And so because it wasn't mybody pushing on its own and more
of a like I think my my body istelling me to push it's
interesting it can show up inthose different ways but yeah I
I was pushing her I think I itwas probably I mean it was
probably less than 10 pushes itwas pretty minimal and when I

(57:22):
got to the ring of fire I waslike the ring of fire sucks.
This is so awful and I rememberthinking like I can't believe
how many women across time havelike dealt with this um and yeah

(57:42):
she her head emerged andbecause I was pushing pretty
like I was trying to be reallyconservative with my pushing her
head emerged and then she onlylike was out to her nose.
And so Heidi got a little youknow concerned about that.
And I don't think it's that mypushes weren't effective.
I think I was just likeintentionally pushing

(58:03):
conservatively.
So then she was like you needto like not wait for the next
contraction and just like pushbecause she was worried that
maybe that meant she was goingto get stuck or something
because she was a big baby.
And so then I didn't wait forthe next contraction I just
pushed and she slid right out.
Yeah so she is like nine pounds11 ounces or something like

(58:27):
that.
And I tore like very minimallydidn't need stitches um being in
the water I think really helpedall of the pelvic floor therapy
really helped I'm sure.
And then yeah they I was in alike half squat position.
So um I had like my left footon the bottom of the tub with my

(58:49):
knee bent and but I was on myright shin.
So kind of this like half yeahhalf squat and um and then I
pushed her out and pulled her upyou know between my legs and um
the midwives caught her.
I think Heidi caught her and myintention was for me to catch
her but or for Sam to catch herbut I could not have caught her

(59:10):
like in the position I was in.
And I think that's like youknow that's where the surprise
fairy comes in like could I gettotally hung up on that I didn't
catch my own baby because thatwas something I really wanted to
do.
Sure but I'm I'm not becauseI'm just like you know I was in
the position that allowed me topush the way that I wanted to
push and that like I couldn'thave moved to a different

(59:31):
position if I tried like I waslike this is my position I'm
birthing in right now.
And um that's when it's helpfulto have another set of hands
and that's why I had them there.
And so they passed her to mebetween my legs and I laid back
on the tub and brought her upand she was like not even
crying.
She was just she's so chillstill she's just the chillest

(59:54):
baby and I did the thing thatlike um I've seen Talked about
that I think some women havefelt shame about, but I don't
feel this.
I like didn't even really lookat her for like a minute.
Like I was just out of my body.
Like, I don't think I looked ather face for like until after I
delivered the placenta.

(01:00:15):
Like I was just very much outof my body in the stars.
Like I, it was such an intenseexperience that I just was like,
it took me a while to reallycome back into come back to
planet Earth.
And um, but I still sang to herright after she was born, which

(01:00:37):
I did with my son as well.
Um, the song that I'd sang toher throughout my pregnancy with
her so that she would rememberit and feel that connection.
And yeah, that I mean, and thenI birthed the placenta on the
birth stool.
And I was really surprised thatlike I was, I think I was

(01:00:58):
anticipating having this likebig sense of relief as soon as
she was born, and having um allof the hormones like flood my
body immediately and feelinglike the ecstatic joy some
people talk about, and that isnot what happened.
Like my contractions kind ofcontinued for a while, like I
was in a lot of pain still, andI did not feel ecstatic, and

(01:01:21):
that's okay.
You know, it was still verylike magical and beautiful and
and meaningful.
It was just like I remember inthe moment being like, Why am I
still in pain?
I'm still having thesecontractions, yeah.

Angela (01:01:38):
It's like you want that relief, but the after pains
sometimes are a little bit worsewith each baby, I think.
So a little bit to do with it.
Yeah.
So how long until your placentaum was delivered?
Was it like a little while orwas it pretty quick?

Melanie (01:01:53):
I don't think it was that long.
I want to say like 10 or 15minutes.
Yeah.
Um, and I just hopped out ofthe birth tub and sat on the
birth stool, and Heidi was like,just give a push and it'll come
out.
And so that's what I did.
And then um, we waited up quitea while to cut the cord, and I
cut her cord, which was verycool.
Yeah, we waited until it waslike, you know, white, not

(01:02:16):
pulsing.
And yeah, we did a placentaprint, which is really cool, and
then we buried it in thegarden, right?
Like my son's placenta wasburied on the left side of one
of our garden arches, and hersis on the right.
So that's really cool.
They're right next to eachother.
And yeah, it was a thickplacenta.

(01:02:37):
Heidi was like, This is areally big placenta.
And I actually remember likeduring my pregnancy, I'd had
this like bulge on my upperright abdomen, and I kept being
like, How is that not her butt?
Because of where she waspositioned, I knew her butt was
on my left side.
And I was like, This can't,like, what is this?
And then I realized afterwards,like, oh, that was my placenta,

(01:02:58):
like bulging, like creatingthis bulge in my abdomen because
it was such a big, thickplacenta, big baby, big
placenta.

Angela (01:03:07):
Wow, that's so cool.
She is very well nourished inthere.
She was, yeah, absolutely.
Oh, that's awesome.
So, how has your postpartumbeen going?

Melanie (01:03:18):
Yeah, I mean, it was just the like best to be able to
get right into my bed and tolike have my oatmeal and my tea,
you know, right after birth andto be cozy in my own space to
take a shower in my shower.
And the midwives, you know,hung out for like how a few
hours and then and then left.

(01:03:39):
And then, you know, we myhusband and I just got to rest
in bed with our new baby.
And my son actually just wentto school that day.
So that was really chill.
Oh no, wait, he didn't.
It was a Sunday.
He was with his grandparentsthat day.
Um, but he went to school likethe next day.
So he just stayed in hisroutine.
And yeah, he stayed at hisgrandparents that following

(01:04:01):
night too.
So they came and visited andmet the baby, and then you know,
Sam and I just got to have likea full 24 hours plus.
I mean, 36 hours, just three ofus, and acclimating.
And it was just such a sweet,easy transition into newborn
life.
You know, the home birth, Ithink, like has it was it was in

(01:04:26):
some ways like pretty painfulcompared to my first.
Even though like I labored athome for 50 hours, the
contractions were more painfulthis time around because they
were more um, I guess, just moreproductive and you know, more
was going on quicker.
But um yeah, I think home birthis worth it alone just for the

(01:04:52):
postpartum that you get becauseyou're not having somebody come
in every two hours and checkyour vitals and whatever.

Angela (01:04:58):
Why is your baby in your bed with you?
Come on.

Melanie (01:05:01):
I know, I know exactly.
Um, and feeding you like blandfood.
It's just um the hospitalpostpartum was such a shit show.
It is, it's just like sochaotic.
And I know some people havereally great, I was at Maine
Med.
I know some people have reallygreat experiences at Mercy.
Like I've had some friends whowere like, I felt like I was

(01:05:23):
staying in a hotel and gettingroom service.
So like I think you can totallyhave that blissful experience
in the hospital too.
Um, but for me being home andwith all my things and all my
stuff, like I just was like,this is perfect.
And it just felt so easy.
And it's been really relativelyeasy because she's a pretty

(01:05:44):
easy baby.
She sleeps well, she nurseswell.
Thank goodness.
You know, I didn't have anyissues breastfeeding the first
time and I don't this time,which is really, really nice and
something I don't take forgranted.
And our son is just reallyhappy to be a big brother and
taking on this responsibility.
And he loves his little sister.
He thinks she's so cute.

(01:06:06):
And yeah, overall, like it'sjust been really, really
blissful and and smooth.
And you know, like all of thenormal like things of waking up
multiple times a night anddealing with fussiness here and
there happens.
But yeah, I mean, honestly,it's as I think simple and easy

(01:06:26):
as I could have asked it to be.
So I'm really grateful.

Angela (01:06:30):
Yeah, that's amazing.
So now, as a final question, ifyou were to give advice to
someone who's expecting or evennew parents at this point in
your journey, what is one of thebiggest things that you'd like
to share?

Melanie (01:06:45):
Oh my goodness.
I think it would be to, I mean,I feel like I have like the
practical advice of like, youknow, get a tens machine, hire
like the most experienced peopleyou can find that you fully
trust.
I definitely think like dadsneed to prepare themselves

(01:07:07):
emotionally and physically forthe process too.
But outside of that, I wouldsay like the saying yes to the
discomfort is a big one.
Even I practiced that even inmy first trimester.
Like when I would be likefeeling so, so, so sick, I
remember like saying, liketalking to myself, and I was
like, I can't do this.

(01:07:27):
I feel like I'm dying.
And like I would then catchmyself in that moment and be
like, no, like I can do this,like this is good, like
everything is working.
And so I was training my brain,even at the beginning of the
pregnancy, to shift that.
And I think that that is areally helpful, um, helpful tool

(01:07:50):
for just the mindset going intoany part of the experience,
whether it's a challengingsymptom in pregnancy or just the
intensity of birth itself.

Angela (01:08:00):
Yeah, that's really great advice.
And I totally agree with that.
It's it's so important to allowyourself to do that during
pregnancy and birth for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you so much, Melanie, fortaking the time to chat with me
and share your second birthstory today.
Thank you.

Melanie (01:08:18):
Happy to do it.
And I hope that, you know, inthe way that my first story
helped people, that this, youknow, offers some folks some
inspiration or healing and somecapacity.
And yeah, it's really wonderfulto share the story.
Thanks for having me.

Angela (01:08:38):
Before you go, I just want to remind you, I have a ton
of resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby, I wantyou to check out the show notes
because I have some freetrainings and free downloads
that you can sign up for, aswell as the link to access
MyLibroflow, a comprehensive,self-paced online childbirth

(01:09:01):
education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith.
And I'd honestly love to teachyou everything that I know so
that you can prepare for anautonomous birth experience and
prepare to step into your roleas the leader of your birth
journey.

(01:09:22):
So, click to the show notes,check out all of those links,
and if you ever have anyquestions, feel free to DM me at
my mainbirth over on Instagram.