Are you a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth? You’re in the right place!
In this episode, we discuss:
- Home birth in Maine, and why Danika made this decision for her first birth experience
- Midwifery care and doula support
- How Danika navigated some health scares during her pregnancy
- Rewriting a traumatic legacy through a redemptive home birth
- The importance of getting a second opinion if you receive concerning results from an ultrasound late in pregnancy - and what Danika did
- ….and a whole lot more!
The place Danika went for her second opinion ultrasound which contrary to the first ultrasound results - revealed that everything was completely fine - was done at Assurance Ultrasound in Auburn.
If something doesn't feel right to you - consider getting a second opinion.
Additional Resources you’ll LOVE…
If you are ready to prepare for an autonomous birth experience, where you’re respected as the authority over your body and your baby… regardless of where you plan on birthing -
CLICK HERE for 10% off the MyAutonomous Birth self-paced, online course!
Not sure where to start? I’ve got you covered! Check out my FREE resource, 37 Questions to Ask Your Care Provider. Whether you’re interviewing new providers or have already established care, this FREE resource offers guidance on important topics to discuss with your provider.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Danika (00:00):
And I was really doing my best to just let these
contractions move through me andsurrender.
I was trying to say like yes,yes, yes, when they were
happening, even though everytime I start up, there was that
little like pit of dread, like,no, like not another one.
Yeah, but reframing it, thatmindset.
(00:23):
I mean, it's tough.
It's it is just as much amental game as it is physical.
And I kept have everycontraction I kept kind of
having to remind myself towelcome it and not resist.
And I overall, I think I did areally good job with that
because things were progressinglike really smoothly.
Angela (00:46):
I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced dual lap child birtheducator, and your host here on
the My Maine Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine.
From our state's biggesthospitals to birth center births
(01:06):
and home births.
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a seemed to bemom, a seasoned mother, or
simply interested in the worldof birth, these episodes are for
you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 138of My Main Birth.
(01:27):
Today's birth story guest isDanica, and she is here to share
all about her home birthexperience, why she chose home
birth for her first birth, andall about the lovely care that
she received from her midwife,Dr.
Sarah Ackerley of Northern SunFamily Healthcare in Topsham.
(01:50):
All right.
Hi Danica.
Welcome to My Main Birth.
Hi.
Thanks, I'm so excited.
Awesome.
Well, to get started, would youshare a little bit about you
and your family?
Danika (02:05):
Yes, of course.
So my daughter is eight weeksold now.
And um, my husband also has twochildren from a previous
marriage.
They are 14 and 16, so we havea bit of an age gap there, and
they're with us about half thetime.
And we live in Brunswick rightnow, and our goal is to move out
a little bit and get some landand hopefully be surrounded by
(02:28):
nature and have like a minihomestead.
So that's what we're workingtoward right now.
Angela (02:33):
Amazing.
That's awesome.
To jump into birth now, wouldyou start by sharing a little
bit about what your mindset wasaround birth growing up?
Like what kind of stories hadyou heard about birth and going
into your birth experience?
What were some of like yourviewpoints?
Danika (02:51):
Yeah, so I guess I didn't have a ton of viewpoints
growing up, other than my my ownbirth story, which was rather
traumatic.
My mom had like a helpsyndrome, pre-eclampsia type
situation, ended up withemergency C-section, and she was
actually in the ICU for about10 days.
So we were separated for thattime, and we really did almost
(03:15):
lose her.
So it was really traumatic, andthat's kind of been what I've
been told, you know, as far asas far as birth.
And that's really only thestory I I grew up with.
So now moving to Maine andbeing surrounded by my community
here, I learned a lot abouthome birth.
I have quite a few friends whohave birth at home, and I knew
(03:40):
long before I got pregnant, Iwas like, that is that's the
way.
And I almost wanted to rebirthmy own birth by having a
redemptive home birth.
So that was kind of that was mygoal going into my birth.
Wow.
Angela (03:57):
So how did you find out you were pregnant?
And yeah, like what were yourthoughts like in choosing your
care after you found out?
Danika (04:05):
So it was definitely a conscious conception.
We, my husband and I gotmarried September of 2024, and
we knew we wanted to try to getpregnant pretty quickly.
I'm 34 and he's 40, so wewanted to get going on that.
And we decided on the wintersolstice to do a basically a
conception ceremony.
(04:26):
And we wanted to welcome inthis soul.
We had felt this baby um in ourauras for a couple years, and
then so we just made thatintention.
Okay, we're ready for you.
Whenever you're whenever you'reready, we'll we'll welcome you.
And then I got pregnant thatvery first cycle.
So we're super excited.
(04:47):
I found out I was pregnant inJanuary, and the estimated due
date was uh September 17th, andmy birthday is September 20th.
So I was super excited topotentially have another Virgo
baby and also give birth aroundmy birth time.
So that was very special.
Oh, and the the care team youasked about.
(05:08):
I had interviewed a couple ofmidwives once I found out I was
pregnant and decided to workwith Sarah Ackerley in Topsum.
And then also my very closefriend Emily Nixon is a birth
worker in the area, and we'vebeen friends for gosh, probably
13 or 14 years.
So she was absolutely going tobe a part of my birth team.
(05:30):
Um, so she was my doula andsupport person as well.
Angela (05:34):
So, how were you feeling as your pregnancy started out?
Danika (05:39):
My pregnancy was honestly really great.
I felt really good in my bodypretty much the whole time,
pretty minimal fatigue, nonausea.
I did have a couple of ratherunusual things happen.
Pretty early on, maybe aroundsix weeks, I started having
heart palpitations, which Iwasn't super concerned about it
(06:00):
at the time because I was awarethat hormonal changes and blood
volume changes can cause that.
So I was just kind ofmonitoring it.
And then a couple weeks later,I think I was eight weeks
pregnant, I was working.
I'm a home health nursepractitioner, and I was out
seeing patients, and thepalpitations got so intense.
(06:20):
And I was, I they scared me.
And I actually drove right tothe ER and had a whole workup,
and they found that I did havesome of these premature beats,
um, but everything else wasnormal, and they kind of chalked
it up as well, that's that'spregnancy for you.
Um, but this would happen everycouple months or so.
I'd get weeks of these kind ofintense palpitations, and it was
(06:45):
really anxiety-producing tofeel your heart, you know,
acting weird.
Um, I did wear a heart monitorfor a little bit, and nothing
kind of came out of this otherthan that this is just what
happened with my body withpregnancy.
So they completely stopped whenI gave birth.
That was just kind of a weirdlittle hiccup throughout the
whole pregnancy I was dealingwith.
Angela (07:06):
Wow, that's interesting.
So, what was your midwifethinking about that?
Did you have any differentthoughts?
Danika (07:13):
I mean, they really they wanted to check thyroid,
anemia, all the labs were werenormal.
So we weren't really concerned.
I did have a cardiologyreferral and she had me wear the
heart monitor.
But other than that, we kind ofchecked off the major things
and just kind of chalked it upas a weird pregnancy thing.
Angela (07:33):
Wow, that's interesting.
So, how were your appointmentslooking like otherwise as you're
moving throughout yourpregnancy?
Danika (07:41):
Good.
There was another thing Iwanted to share that was pretty
intense that happened.
I want to say, I think around15 weeks, I noticed a lump over
where my thyroid is on mythroat.
And I let my midwife know atthe next appointment, that was
probably three or four weekslater.
And she said, Yeah, that'sdefinitely your thyroid.
(08:03):
Um, your thyroid's enlarged,and but your labs are fine, so
let's get an ultrasound.
So I got an ultrasound about aweek later, and she called me
with the results and said thatit was highly suspicious for
malignancy.
So I'm listening to her tell methis, and I I'm in complete
(08:26):
disbelief that this is happeningto me.
Hung up the phone and Iabsolutely broke down crying.
Thankfully, she was able to getme an appointment at Portland
endocrinology two days later toget a biopsy.
But those two days waiting forthat appointment were probably
the longest two days of myentire life.
(08:48):
And just dealing with all ofthe thoughts that come up with,
you know, if I do have cancer,what does this mean for the
baby?
Am I going to have to sacrificemy treatment just to get the
baby here safely?
All these, all these thoughtsthat come up.
Um, it really brought me intolike a death portal, this
(09:11):
contemplation of of you know, acancer scare and death and all
of this stuff.
It was so, so intense.
So thankfully, at thatappointment, two days later,
they did another ultrasound thatand they basically said, no,
this doesn't look too bad.
The biopsy did come out normal.
But oh my goodness, thatexperience while pregnant.
(09:34):
I mean, a cancer scare alone isterrifying, let alone while
being, I think I was about 20weeks pregnant at this time.
It was so intense.
I do think it it put a lot ofthings into perspective for me.
I'm I had I think everyone doeshave some fears around birth.
Um so it really helped merelease a lot of those fears
(09:58):
because ultimately I was justlike, I want to be here for my
baby, and I want my baby to behere safely.
And it kind of stripped away alot of these these fears I was
having.
Angela (10:11):
So, like what other fears um do you are you kind of
talking about like what you'rehaving like about the birth?
Danika (10:17):
Yeah.
Um, I was definitely concernedthat what happened to my mom
could happen to me.
Um, that was I had done a lotof work trying to release that,
but it was still there.
I also just really wanted myhome birth.
So anything that basicallybrought me into that could bring
me to the hospital, I wasafraid of like potentially
having a breach baby, all ofthese things.
(10:39):
I was I was doing some fearreleasing around.
Angela (10:43):
Yeah, it's it's a lot of big, big things, big emotions.
And then add those medicalconcerns on top of it.
That's heavy.
Danika (10:52):
It was, but thankfully that was that was okay.
And the rest of my pregnancywas super smooth.
I stopped working around 30,yeah, 37 weeks, and I had
planned to have this reallychill, relaxing last couple
weeks of pregnancy.
I'd planned to go for naturewalks and just also do some
(11:16):
productive stuff, like fill ourfreezer with food.
But I was dealing with a ton ofrib pain.
It was like the last month ofpregnancy, I was having this
intense like nerve kind of ribpain that basically required me
to lay in bed.
So I was super annoyed that allof my plans um for these last
(11:40):
couple of weeks were thwarted.
But I do, I do think it wasmeant to happen like that
because it really forced me toslow down.
And I think that's what my bodyneeded.
I didn't need to be runningaround doing all this stuff.
I needed to be resting,settling into my body, preparing
for birth.
So I do, I do look at it thatway now that it was meant to be.
(12:02):
But it was hard because I'm avery kind of typey productive
person.
Angela (12:07):
Yeah, it is hard, especially like, you know, like
the exercises and the movementsare important important, but
like also resting is equally ormore important, you know, like
and really tuning into likeyeah, what your body needs and
and being fully rested leadingup to birth is so important.
So that's good to be able toget some rest.
Danika (12:29):
Yeah, I try to surrender into that.
Angela (12:31):
Yeah, it can be hard definitely to let all the
schedule things go and the plansthat you know you're hoping
for, especially you said eightweeks, so this is probably nice,
beautiful fall weather to getoutside, right?
Like I know, just looking atthe sun from my bed.
Danika (12:45):
Yeah.
It's okay though.
You asked about my appointmentsas well.
And another thing I wanted tomention, just in case anyone
else is going through this, I'mpretty tall, I'm 5'10, and my
belly was on the smaller side,the whole pregnancy, which I
kind of chalked up just to beinga tall woman.
And so I around 37 weeks, I wasstill measuring 33 centimeters
(13:11):
on the fundal height, which ison the smaller side.
Typically, they wantgestational age plus or minus
three.
So my midwife at the time didrecommend an ultrasound.
Uh, at this point, I had onlygotten the 20-week anatomy scan.
I was trying to do as as few aspossible.
And she said, let's I'd like toget an ultrasound just to check
(13:34):
baby's size, maybe the amnioticfluids low.
And I uh my intuition told mebaby was perfect, everything was
fine, and I declined at thattime.
Then again, at 40 weeks, I'mstill measuring 33 centimeters,
and we had the conversationagain, and I did decide to get
the ultrasound.
(13:55):
Um, deep down I still felteverything was okay, but I was
starting to get in my head, Iwas getting a little anxious
because she was anxious.
Um, so I got that ultrasoundnow um 40 weeks and one day.
So this is September 18th, andI went to main med for that, and
that showed extremely lowamniotic fluid.
(14:17):
Um, baby was perfect sizethough.
But now this kind of startedthis little cascade of what do
we do now?
They, the main med basicallywanted me to get admitted for an
induction right then and there,and I was like, absolutely not!
Like, slow down, please.
And my midwife was also wantingto get things started.
(14:40):
She's like, I really don't wantthis to go to like 42 weeks
because the amniotic fluid tendsto decrease a little bit the
longer you go.
So she was hoping to do somenatural induction techniques,
some herbs and um acupuncture aswell.
So that kind of started thatthat whole that whole process
(15:02):
there.
Angela (15:03):
Yeah, that can be a lot.
How are you feeling as you weregoing through those
appointments?
Like, what were your thoughtsand like how are you doing
emotionally as it that started?
Danika (15:13):
Well, I was a little disappointed that it did show
low amniotic fluid because Ireally didn't want pressure
around the birth.
You know, I wanted things tounfold and naturally I didn't
want this pressure, like we gotto get this going.
Although this whole week, um,the week of my due date, I was
losing a lot of my mucus plug.
(15:33):
So I felt very strongly thatbirth was coming no matter what.
My husband and I both felt thatthat weekend, um, the weekend
of my birthday, September 20th,baby was coming.
So I wasn't overly concerned,but it it did worry me a little
bit, the low amniotic fluid, andwe actually scheduled a second
(15:55):
opinion ultrasound in a privatepractice the following day.
And that came out perfectlyfine.
So no way, yeah, everything ithad adequate fluid, baby was
fine, everything was perfect.
So if I don't know, if anyonehas an upsetting ultrasound, you
(16:15):
can always go someplace elseand get a second opinion because
that just took all the stressoff the table.
My midwife was happy, I wasrelieved, so that's always an
option if if someone's worried.
Angela (16:28):
Yeah, where did you go for your second opinion
ultrasound if you don't mindsharing?
Oh gosh, she's in Auburn.
Danika (16:34):
I wish I could remember the name of them.
I can look it up and send it toyou so you have it for
reference.
Angela (16:40):
But yeah, uh that would be awesome.
And I will add it to the shownotes for anyone that's
interested.
Um I'll get you that.
You have options.
Cool.
So how did things go forwardthen after that?
Wow.
Danika (16:52):
So I had um already I did end up doing the acupuncture
induction um that same day ofthe second second ultrasound.
Um and that was with Julia Webbin Brunswick.
Highly recommend her.
It was a wonderful experience.
So I did that.
And oh, I forgot to mentionthat that morning I woke up with
(17:14):
that extreme nesting energy.
I got it was like six in themorning, and I was like, I gotta
clean the fridge out.
And I thought I was going to gointo labor that day.
So by the end of the day, I washonestly a little frustrated.
I'm like, why isn't thishappening?
I'm feeling so ready.
When is this baby coming?
(17:35):
But overnight, the nextmorning, about 3:30 in the
morning, I woke up with someperiod like cramps, and they
were painful enough where Ineeded to get out of bed, get a
heating pack, and I tried layingdown, and that wasn't doing it.
I started running a hot bath,and while I was waiting for the
(17:57):
bath to fill up, I got thismassive like adrenaline dump.
I was full body shaky, and Icouldn't even hold on to my
phone.
And I was like, whoa, this ishappening.
Like my body's prepping.
So the bath didn't really helpwith the cramping, but it did
kind of calm the shakiness.
And my husband woke up at thistime and he was like, What's
(18:20):
going on?
Like, this is it.
I said, please go back tosleep.
It's early.
I need to go downstairs becauseI can't, I can't really get
comfortable.
Angela (18:30):
Yeah, so it's super important to just like stay calm
and like get all excited andjust like kind of ignore it
almost, right?
Danika (18:37):
And it's like, yeah, and I had tried to go back to
sleep.
That's always therecommendation everyone gives is
try to get rest.
And absolutely not.
I mean, I was uncomfortable.
It's hard to go back to sleepwhen you're moving through
cramping like that.
Yeah.
So I ended up getting up andgoing downstairs probably four
or four thirty in the morning.
Um, by five o'clock, mycontractions were already five
(19:00):
minutes apart and lasting about30 seconds.
And I was honestly reallysurprised at how quickly there
was a pattern, just a littleover an hour since starting the
cramping.
And they just steadilyincreased from there.
I tried my best to hydrate andnourish myself.
(19:21):
I was like, this could be 24hours, 48 hours.
Um, so I was chugging coconutwater, and I texted my doula
Emily around six o'clock, andthen 7 a.m.
I texted my midwife, whobasically said what you said,
try to ignore them, go aboutyour day.
And I was just baffled by thatbecause I they were already
(19:47):
taking my attention, like Icouldn't stand through them.
I was kneeling down over thecouch and breathing through them
already.
So ignoring them was notpossible at that point.
Um, so they kept ramping upslowly but surely.
(20:07):
I went upstairs to our birthspace.
Um, our bedroom is where we Imade a birth altar and set up
the space.
And I was assuming the sameposition on my knees, kind of
bent over the bed, and that wasmy go-to position the whole
entire birth.
Yeah, I mean I I tried otherthings and that was not
(20:29):
happening.
Um around 11 a.m., my waterbroke.
I felt a little pop and somefluid, and I knew immediately
that was the water breaking, andthat was I think one of the
only times my husband wasn'twith me the entire labor, and he
was so bummed that he missedthat moment, which was kind of
(20:50):
funny.
But I did, I checked out thefluid just to make sure it was
clear and it was, um, let themidwife know.
And then at that point, thecontractions did start getting a
little more intense withoutthat that water cushion.
And my husband started to fillup the birth tub.
Um, and about that took about30 minutes to fill.
(21:16):
And I remember in that 30minutes, I was like, okay, like
when is this tub gonna be ready?
Because it was just supersteady, um, increasing
intensity.
But the tub was amazing.
And also on my knees, kind ofleaning over the tub for the
next couple hours.
I was having um contractionsstarting in the front and then
(21:41):
wrapping around my back.
And I basically had theseintense contractions and would
just kind of collapse into myhusband's arms and just rest my
face in his hands, and he wasabsolutely anchor through the
entire entire labor.
He just sat right at the edgeof the bed and held me anytime I
(22:01):
was resting, and it was just itwas so beautiful.
We did a lot of eye gazing andbreathing together, and it was
it was the best.
Angela (22:09):
Yeah, it can be really such a beautiful like bonding
experience with your partner.
Danika (22:13):
It was, yeah, it was so so beautiful.
Um, I really just stared at himlike the whole time.
It it was it was awesome.
Um I was also surprised by howvocal I was.
I was really, really vocalizingthrough every contraction, and
(22:34):
that was there was no way Icouldn't do that.
Like that's what was happening.
The sounds were coming out, andit was really empowering just
letting all these noises movethrough me.
Um, and then around aroundnoon, so I'd been in labor about
nine hours at this point, I hada contraction that it honestly
(22:56):
kind of scared me, theintensity.
Like I could just visualize andfeel myself opening.
And that at that point, Itexted Emily um my doula to come
over because I was like, okay,I need a little more support
because I'm this is this is kindof scary, like the intensity.
(23:18):
So she got on her way, and then30 minutes later, we texted the
midwife because I was like, Ineed everybody here, please.
This is this is happening.
And I was really doing my bestto just let these contractions
move through me and surrender.
I was trying to say like yes,yes, yes, when they were
(23:40):
happening, even though everytime I start up, there was that
little like pit of dread, like,no, like not another one.
Yeah, but reframing it, thatmindset.
I mean, it's tough.
It's it is just as much amental game as it is physical.
And I kept have everycontraction I kept kind of
(24:01):
having to remind myself towelcome it and not resist.
And I overall, I think I did areally good job with that
because things were progressinglike really smoothly.
And I had read a lot of booksabout orgasmic birth and
pleasureful births, and I wastruly trying to open up that
(24:21):
pathway and imagine all of thisas pleasure, and it was just not
happening.
There was there, it was notpleasurable at all.
It was definitely pain, andthat's okay, that's what I
needed to experience, but I justthought it was funny.
I just kept trying.
I'm like, this this is this ispleasure.
This is no, it was it wasexcruciating if I'm being
(24:46):
honest, but I did it.
So I'm I'm happy I had thatthat pain because I came out
feeling so empowered that Icould endure that.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's very cool.
Yeah.
And then gosh, so I think atone o'clock, the whole bird team
(25:07):
was there.
And I was probably approachingtransition.
I was definitely getting tothat spot where I can't do this
anymore.
I was having all thosethoughts, and I I recognized
this.
I was like, oh, I think this istransition, like this is good.
And my body was getting really,really shaky that like
adrenaline was coming back in.
(25:28):
I think that's another sign oftransition.
So I was still in the tub atthis point, and I started having
those kind of pushycontractions in the tub and that
feeling like I need to have abowel movement.
Um, so at this time, my midwiferecommended getting out of the
tub and kind of sitting on thetoilet a little bit, just so I
(25:51):
could, I guess, feel thesecontractions in a different way,
like how to move through them.
And I really did not want tomove, but I did get up and it
was tremendously helpful just toposition change um and just
kind of understanding what mybody was trying to do.
And I did want to mention aswell, I requested not to have
(26:15):
any cervical checks during mylabor.
So that was respected, and Iwanted as little monitoring as
possible.
Um, so I think my midwife onlychecked us maybe three or four
times while she was there.
So it was perfect.
I did not feel like disturbedby that at all.
Baby was doing great, so I wasreally happy with with that as
(26:38):
well.
Angela (26:38):
Awesome.
Yeah, it's so important, youknow, to have the birth that you
want, you know.
Danika (26:44):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like she really respected umwhat I wanted.
I know that can be disruptivefor a lot of people getting
getting checked like that.
Um, I found everything she didreally supportive, so that was
great.
And so I'm on the toilet now,and these are moving through
these pushing contractions.
(27:05):
I found the only thing helpfulwas doing like the horse lip
breathing that just camenaturally, and I was I just kind
of stuck with that.
It was kind of like an anchor,like every time the contraction
started, I'd start horse lipbreathing.
And it was honestly superfunny, like the sounds.
I remember just laughing in myhead, being like, I sound so
(27:31):
ridiculous right now.
And I caught my husband tryingnot to laugh too.
Like, so it's kind of nice tohave some humor in in birth too.
Um, and at one point, I thinkI've probably been on the toilet
maybe four contractions, andthey are just just so
(27:51):
overwhelming.
Um it was it was my body, mybody pushing, pushing down.
I was not doing anythingmyself.
And I asked my midwife, I waslike, how much longer?
Like, I was I was done.
And she's like, Well, you canreach down and try to feel your
baby.
(28:12):
And I did, and her head wasabout an inch away.
And at this point, we didn'tknow the gender yet, but I said,
She's right there, I can feelher head.
It just it just came outintuitively.
Um, and that gave me so muchconfidence.
I was like, oh my gosh, she'sright there, and ended up
(28:34):
getting back in the tub andleaned back, and I was kind of
in a reclined position, and hada few more contractions in the
tub.
And at this point, I can feelher stretching the opening.
She's kind of turtling in andout, and that sensation was
(28:54):
very, very painful.
And I there was some fear andresistance.
I could tell I was like holdingback, holding her in a little
bit, just um allowing her tostretch.
And I think I was putting myhand down and feeling her head
too.
But I think, let's see, aboutfour contractions or so.
I heard my midwife ask myhusband, like, are you left or
(29:18):
right-handed?
Why don't you come around thisway?
And I'm thinking, oh my gosh,like we're so, so close.
Because from that position, Iwas reclined.
I really didn't feel like Icould I could catch her.
Um, so I wanted my husband tooif I if I wasn't in the position
to do that to do so.
So at that point, I kind of Ijust decided.
(29:39):
I was like, okay, nextcontraction, you're not holding
back, you're gonna let her comeout.
And I did.
I mean, I screamed at the topof my lungs, and her head came
out, and I then felt her do herrotation and Get in the next
(30:01):
position, and there's a quite abig pause between her head
coming out and her body, and Icould feel her kicking and
wriggling around in my vaginalcanal, and it was honestly so
painful.
I was like, What is go?
I was yelling, like, what isshe doing?
What's going on?
Because she was just she issuch a vigorous baby.
(30:23):
I mean, she was ready to comeout, she was trying to kick her
way out.
She's rotating, she's rotatingand just kicking and moving.
And then her body came out.
Next contraction, my husbandcaught her.
And there's about 20 seconds orso, like where I'm coming back
(30:44):
into my body.
I don't remember her beingpulled out of the water.
Um just kind of reorientingmyself.
But I did get her on my chesteventually.
And after about 20-30 seconds,she started crying.
So there was a little bit of apause before she was crying, and
then she was screaming.
So she was perfectly healthy.
(31:08):
Um, and something unique, shehad a true knot in her cord.
So I think that's about one ina thousand births.
Yeah, that's really cool.
Yeah, it was really special.
The midwives were takingpictures of it, and that can be
(31:28):
from my research, it can bedangerous if the cord is short
and you have the knot, you'remore at risk for that getting
pulled taut and um interferingwith the blood flow.
But her cord was plenty longand it was just it was so cool.
Angela (31:45):
So wow, were they able to like move the knot up and
down like the cord?
Danika (31:49):
Like, yeah, it wasn't it wasn't super tight.
It could, it could move.
Yeah, it was really specialthough.
That is special.
Um, so yeah, this was mybirthday.
She was born on my birthday.
Oh yay! Yeah, so that was justa whole nother layer of just
like rebirth for myself.
(32:11):
Like, talk about rebirth.
Yeah, that's wow, that's socool.
So I felt there was a lot ofhealing in my own birth trauma
coming into the world, just tobe able to bring my daughter in
on the same day I came into theworld in just like the most
peaceful environment possible.
(32:31):
So it was very special.
Oh wow, that's a good thing.
And my placenta, I think onlytook uh 15 to 20 minutes.
I started feeling cramping, andthen um my husband got in the
pool to hold the baby, and I goton my knees and gave one little
(32:52):
push, and the placenta cameout.
So that wasn't too horrible.
I didn't bleed very much.
Um, I did have a second degreetear, but that was sutured.
Um, but after that we had ourbeautiful golden hour and
established breastfeeding, andit was just it was just the
best.
Angela (33:12):
Oh, how sweet.
So how was your like early?
Well, I mean, you're still likeearly kind of postpartum.
Yeah.
Danika (33:20):
So how have these last eight weeks been for you?
Good.
I'm yeah, still in it.
She's she's eight weeks old,and I mean dealing with the the
normal fatigue and sleepdeprivation.
Um, but she is just such aprecious baby and breastfeeding
has been going well and overalljust just doing really well.
(33:44):
So grateful for her and ourexperience.
Angela (33:48):
Yeah.
Now, as a final question, ifyou were to give advice to
someone who's expecting or evennew parents, what is one of the
biggest things that you wouldwant to share?
Danika (34:01):
I think the biggest thing that helped me was
listening to birth stories.
I mean, I every single dayprobably I was listening to
birth stories, and that reallyreally helped me understand um
all the variations of thingsthat women can feel and how
birth can go, and justanticipating all of that was
(34:24):
really powerful.
And then I also for me havingas much education about the
process is really powerful.
So anything that I was nervousabout or having anxiety, I
basically just researched and Iread a ton of books.
(34:48):
I love the Great BirthRebellion podcast, the
evidence-based podcast about allthings birth.
So that was super helpful forme.
I took Emily's class, um it'scalled So You Want a Home Birth.
Um, and you can find her atEmbodied Women's Wisdom.
That was super helpful foranyone wanting a home birth.
Angela (35:11):
Yeah, and she's also got a really resourceful podcast to
same name, Embodies Women'sWisdom.
Danika (35:18):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So for me, just arming myselfwith all the knowledge I
possibly could.
I mean, whether you want ahospital birth or home birth, I
think it's really important toknow all the interventions and
everything that surrounds thoseso you can make informed
decisions.
Angela (35:37):
Yeah, definitely.
Learn all of the options andthen choose what feels right for
you because it's not one sizefits all.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Well, thank you so much,Danica, for taking the time to
chat with me today and shareyour story.
Thanks for having me.
It was great to share.
Before you go, I just want toremind you, I have a ton of
(36:00):
resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby, I wantyou to check out the show notes
because I have some freetrainings and free downloads
that you can sign up for, aswell as the link to access My
Labor of Low, a comprehensive,self-paced online childbirth
education course.
(36:20):
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith.
And I'd honestly love to teachyou everything that I know so
that you can prepare for anautonomous birth experience and
prepare to step into your roleas the leader of your birth
journey.
So click those show notes,check out all of those links,
(36:43):
and if you ever have anyquestions, feel free to DM me at
my mainbirth over on Instagram.
And I was really doing my best to just let these
contractions move through me andsurrender.
I was trying to say like yes,yes, yes, when they were
happening, even though everytime I start up, there was that
little like pit of dread, like,no, like not another one.
Yeah, but reframing it, thatmindset.
(00:23):
I mean, it's tough.
It's it is just as much amental game as it is physical.
And I kept have everycontraction I kept kind of
having to remind myself towelcome it and not resist.
And I overall, I think I did areally good job with that
because things were progressinglike really smoothly.
Angela (00:46):
I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced dual lap child birtheducator, and your host here on
the My Maine Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine.
From our state's biggesthospitals to birth center births
(01:06):
and home births.
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a seemed to bemom, a seasoned mother, or
simply interested in the worldof birth, these episodes are for
you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 138of My Main Birth.
(01:27):
Today's birth story guest isDanica, and she is here to share
all about her home birthexperience, why she chose home
birth for her first birth, andall about the lovely care that
she received from her midwife,Dr.
Sarah Ackerley of Northern SunFamily Healthcare in Topsham.
(01:50):
All right.
Hi Danica.
Welcome to My Main Birth.
Hi.
Thanks, I'm so excited.
Awesome.
Well, to get started, would youshare a little bit about you
and your family?
Danika (02:05):
Yes, of course.
So my daughter is eight weeksold now.
And um, my husband also has twochildren from a previous
marriage.
They are 14 and 16, so we havea bit of an age gap there, and
they're with us about half thetime.
And we live in Brunswick rightnow, and our goal is to move out
a little bit and get some landand hopefully be surrounded by
(02:28):
nature and have like a minihomestead.
So that's what we're workingtoward right now.
Angela (02:33):
Amazing.
That's awesome.
To jump into birth now, wouldyou start by sharing a little
bit about what your mindset wasaround birth growing up?
Like what kind of stories hadyou heard about birth and going
into your birth experience?
What were some of like yourviewpoints?
Danika (02:51):
Yeah, so I guess I didn't have a ton of viewpoints
growing up, other than my my ownbirth story, which was rather
traumatic.
My mom had like a helpsyndrome, pre-eclampsia type
situation, ended up withemergency C-section, and she was
actually in the ICU for about10 days.
So we were separated for thattime, and we really did almost
(03:15):
lose her.
So it was really traumatic, andthat's kind of been what I've
been told, you know, as far asas far as birth.
And that's really only thestory I I grew up with.
So now moving to Maine andbeing surrounded by my community
here, I learned a lot abouthome birth.
I have quite a few friends whohave birth at home, and I knew
(03:40):
long before I got pregnant, Iwas like, that is that's the
way.
And I almost wanted to rebirthmy own birth by having a
redemptive home birth.
So that was kind of that was mygoal going into my birth.
Wow.
Angela (03:57):
So how did you find out you were pregnant?
And yeah, like what were yourthoughts like in choosing your
care after you found out?
Danika (04:05):
So it was definitely a conscious conception.
We, my husband and I gotmarried September of 2024, and
we knew we wanted to try to getpregnant pretty quickly.
I'm 34 and he's 40, so wewanted to get going on that.
And we decided on the wintersolstice to do a basically a
conception ceremony.
(04:26):
And we wanted to welcome inthis soul.
We had felt this baby um in ourauras for a couple years, and
then so we just made thatintention.
Okay, we're ready for you.
Whenever you're whenever you'reready, we'll we'll welcome you.
And then I got pregnant thatvery first cycle.
So we're super excited.
(04:47):
I found out I was pregnant inJanuary, and the estimated due
date was uh September 17th, andmy birthday is September 20th.
So I was super excited topotentially have another Virgo
baby and also give birth aroundmy birth time.
So that was very special.
Oh, and the the care team youasked about.
(05:08):
I had interviewed a couple ofmidwives once I found out I was
pregnant and decided to workwith Sarah Ackerley in Topsum.
And then also my very closefriend Emily Nixon is a birth
worker in the area, and we'vebeen friends for gosh, probably
13 or 14 years.
So she was absolutely going tobe a part of my birth team.
(05:30):
Um, so she was my doula andsupport person as well.
Angela (05:34):
So, how were you feeling as your pregnancy started out?
Danika (05:39):
My pregnancy was honestly really great.
I felt really good in my bodypretty much the whole time,
pretty minimal fatigue, nonausea.
I did have a couple of ratherunusual things happen.
Pretty early on, maybe aroundsix weeks, I started having
heart palpitations, which Iwasn't super concerned about it
(06:00):
at the time because I was awarethat hormonal changes and blood
volume changes can cause that.
So I was just kind ofmonitoring it.
And then a couple weeks later,I think I was eight weeks
pregnant, I was working.
I'm a home health nursepractitioner, and I was out
seeing patients, and thepalpitations got so intense.
(06:20):
And I was, I they scared me.
And I actually drove right tothe ER and had a whole workup,
and they found that I did havesome of these premature beats,
um, but everything else wasnormal, and they kind of chalked
it up as well, that's that'spregnancy for you.
Um, but this would happen everycouple months or so.
I'd get weeks of these kind ofintense palpitations, and it was
(06:45):
really anxiety-producing tofeel your heart, you know,
acting weird.
Um, I did wear a heart monitorfor a little bit, and nothing
kind of came out of this otherthan that this is just what
happened with my body withpregnancy.
So they completely stopped whenI gave birth.
That was just kind of a weirdlittle hiccup throughout the
whole pregnancy I was dealingwith.
Angela (07:06):
Wow, that's interesting.
So, what was your midwifethinking about that?
Did you have any differentthoughts?
Danika (07:13):
I mean, they really they wanted to check thyroid,
anemia, all the labs were werenormal.
So we weren't really concerned.
I did have a cardiologyreferral and she had me wear the
heart monitor.
But other than that, we kind ofchecked off the major things
and just kind of chalked it upas a weird pregnancy thing.
Angela (07:33):
Wow, that's interesting.
So, how were your appointmentslooking like otherwise as you're
moving throughout yourpregnancy?
Danika (07:41):
Good.
There was another thing Iwanted to share that was pretty
intense that happened.
I want to say, I think around15 weeks, I noticed a lump over
where my thyroid is on mythroat.
And I let my midwife know atthe next appointment, that was
probably three or four weekslater.
And she said, Yeah, that'sdefinitely your thyroid.
(08:03):
Um, your thyroid's enlarged,and but your labs are fine, so
let's get an ultrasound.
So I got an ultrasound about aweek later, and she called me
with the results and said thatit was highly suspicious for
malignancy.
So I'm listening to her tell methis, and I I'm in complete
(08:26):
disbelief that this is happeningto me.
Hung up the phone and Iabsolutely broke down crying.
Thankfully, she was able to getme an appointment at Portland
endocrinology two days later toget a biopsy.
But those two days waiting forthat appointment were probably
the longest two days of myentire life.
(08:48):
And just dealing with all ofthe thoughts that come up with,
you know, if I do have cancer,what does this mean for the
baby?
Am I going to have to sacrificemy treatment just to get the
baby here safely?
All these, all these thoughtsthat come up.
Um, it really brought me intolike a death portal, this
(09:11):
contemplation of of you know, acancer scare and death and all
of this stuff.
It was so, so intense.
So thankfully, at thatappointment, two days later,
they did another ultrasound thatand they basically said, no,
this doesn't look too bad.
The biopsy did come out normal.
But oh my goodness, thatexperience while pregnant.
(09:34):
I mean, a cancer scare alone isterrifying, let alone while
being, I think I was about 20weeks pregnant at this time.
It was so intense.
I do think it it put a lot ofthings into perspective for me.
I'm I had I think everyone doeshave some fears around birth.
Um so it really helped merelease a lot of those fears
(09:58):
because ultimately I was justlike, I want to be here for my
baby, and I want my baby to behere safely.
And it kind of stripped away alot of these these fears I was
having.
Angela (10:11):
So, like what other fears um do you are you kind of
talking about like what you'rehaving like about the birth?
Danika (10:17):
Yeah.
Um, I was definitely concernedthat what happened to my mom
could happen to me.
Um, that was I had done a lotof work trying to release that,
but it was still there.
I also just really wanted myhome birth.
So anything that basicallybrought me into that could bring
me to the hospital, I wasafraid of like potentially
having a breach baby, all ofthese things.
(10:39):
I was I was doing some fearreleasing around.
Angela (10:43):
Yeah, it's it's a lot of big, big things, big emotions.
And then add those medicalconcerns on top of it.
That's heavy.
Danika (10:52):
It was, but thankfully that was that was okay.
And the rest of my pregnancywas super smooth.
I stopped working around 30,yeah, 37 weeks, and I had
planned to have this reallychill, relaxing last couple
weeks of pregnancy.
I'd planned to go for naturewalks and just also do some
(11:16):
productive stuff, like fill ourfreezer with food.
But I was dealing with a ton ofrib pain.
It was like the last month ofpregnancy, I was having this
intense like nerve kind of ribpain that basically required me
to lay in bed.
So I was super annoyed that allof my plans um for these last
(11:40):
couple of weeks were thwarted.
But I do, I do think it wasmeant to happen like that
because it really forced me toslow down.
And I think that's what my bodyneeded.
I didn't need to be runningaround doing all this stuff.
I needed to be resting,settling into my body, preparing
for birth.
So I do, I do look at it thatway now that it was meant to be.
(12:02):
But it was hard because I'm avery kind of typey productive
person.
Angela (12:07):
Yeah, it is hard, especially like, you know, like
the exercises and the movementsare important important, but
like also resting is equally ormore important, you know, like
and really tuning into likeyeah, what your body needs and
and being fully rested leadingup to birth is so important.
So that's good to be able toget some rest.
Danika (12:29):
Yeah, I try to surrender into that.
Angela (12:31):
Yeah, it can be hard definitely to let all the
schedule things go and the plansthat you know you're hoping
for, especially you said eightweeks, so this is probably nice,
beautiful fall weather to getoutside, right?
Like I know, just looking atthe sun from my bed.
Danika (12:45):
Yeah.
It's okay though.
You asked about my appointmentsas well.
And another thing I wanted tomention, just in case anyone
else is going through this, I'mpretty tall, I'm 5'10, and my
belly was on the smaller side,the whole pregnancy, which I
kind of chalked up just to beinga tall woman.
And so I around 37 weeks, I wasstill measuring 33 centimeters
(13:11):
on the fundal height, which ison the smaller side.
Typically, they wantgestational age plus or minus
three.
So my midwife at the time didrecommend an ultrasound.
Uh, at this point, I had onlygotten the 20-week anatomy scan.
I was trying to do as as few aspossible.
And she said, let's I'd like toget an ultrasound just to check
(13:34):
baby's size, maybe the amnioticfluids low.
And I uh my intuition told mebaby was perfect, everything was
fine, and I declined at thattime.
Then again, at 40 weeks, I'mstill measuring 33 centimeters,
and we had the conversationagain, and I did decide to get
the ultrasound.
(13:55):
Um, deep down I still felteverything was okay, but I was
starting to get in my head, Iwas getting a little anxious
because she was anxious.
Um, so I got that ultrasoundnow um 40 weeks and one day.
So this is September 18th, andI went to main med for that, and
that showed extremely lowamniotic fluid.
(14:17):
Um, baby was perfect sizethough.
But now this kind of startedthis little cascade of what do
we do now?
They, the main med basicallywanted me to get admitted for an
induction right then and there,and I was like, absolutely not!
Like, slow down, please.
And my midwife was also wantingto get things started.
(14:40):
She's like, I really don't wantthis to go to like 42 weeks
because the amniotic fluid tendsto decrease a little bit the
longer you go.
So she was hoping to do somenatural induction techniques,
some herbs and um acupuncture aswell.
So that kind of started thatthat whole that whole process
(15:02):
there.
Angela (15:03):
Yeah, that can be a lot.
How are you feeling as you weregoing through those
appointments?
Like, what were your thoughtsand like how are you doing
emotionally as it that started?
Danika (15:13):
Well, I was a little disappointed that it did show
low amniotic fluid because Ireally didn't want pressure
around the birth.
You know, I wanted things tounfold and naturally I didn't
want this pressure, like we gotto get this going.
Although this whole week, um,the week of my due date, I was
losing a lot of my mucus plug.
(15:33):
So I felt very strongly thatbirth was coming no matter what.
My husband and I both felt thatthat weekend, um, the weekend
of my birthday, September 20th,baby was coming.
So I wasn't overly concerned,but it it did worry me a little
bit, the low amniotic fluid, andwe actually scheduled a second
(15:55):
opinion ultrasound in a privatepractice the following day.
And that came out perfectlyfine.
So no way, yeah, everything ithad adequate fluid, baby was
fine, everything was perfect.
So if I don't know, if anyonehas an upsetting ultrasound, you
(16:15):
can always go someplace elseand get a second opinion because
that just took all the stressoff the table.
My midwife was happy, I wasrelieved, so that's always an
option if if someone's worried.
Angela (16:28):
Yeah, where did you go for your second opinion
ultrasound if you don't mindsharing?
Oh gosh, she's in Auburn.
Danika (16:34):
I wish I could remember the name of them.
I can look it up and send it toyou so you have it for
reference.
Angela (16:40):
But yeah, uh that would be awesome.
And I will add it to the shownotes for anyone that's
interested.
Um I'll get you that.
You have options.
Cool.
So how did things go forwardthen after that?
Wow.
Danika (16:52):
So I had um already I did end up doing the acupuncture
induction um that same day ofthe second second ultrasound.
Um and that was with Julia Webbin Brunswick.
Highly recommend her.
It was a wonderful experience.
So I did that.
And oh, I forgot to mentionthat that morning I woke up with
(17:14):
that extreme nesting energy.
I got it was like six in themorning, and I was like, I gotta
clean the fridge out.
And I thought I was going to gointo labor that day.
So by the end of the day, I washonestly a little frustrated.
I'm like, why isn't thishappening?
I'm feeling so ready.
When is this baby coming?
(17:35):
But overnight, the nextmorning, about 3:30 in the
morning, I woke up with someperiod like cramps, and they
were painful enough where Ineeded to get out of bed, get a
heating pack, and I tried layingdown, and that wasn't doing it.
I started running a hot bath,and while I was waiting for the
(17:57):
bath to fill up, I got thismassive like adrenaline dump.
I was full body shaky, and Icouldn't even hold on to my
phone.
And I was like, whoa, this ishappening.
Like my body's prepping.
So the bath didn't really helpwith the cramping, but it did
kind of calm the shakiness.
And my husband woke up at thistime and he was like, What's
(18:20):
going on?
Like, this is it.
I said, please go back tosleep.
It's early.
I need to go downstairs becauseI can't, I can't really get
comfortable.
Angela (18:30):
Yeah, so it's super important to just like stay calm
and like get all excited andjust like kind of ignore it
almost, right?
Danika (18:37):
And it's like, yeah, and I had tried to go back to
sleep.
That's always therecommendation everyone gives is
try to get rest.
And absolutely not.
I mean, I was uncomfortable.
It's hard to go back to sleepwhen you're moving through
cramping like that.
Yeah.
So I ended up getting up andgoing downstairs probably four
or four thirty in the morning.
Um, by five o'clock, mycontractions were already five
(19:00):
minutes apart and lasting about30 seconds.
And I was honestly reallysurprised at how quickly there
was a pattern, just a littleover an hour since starting the
cramping.
And they just steadilyincreased from there.
I tried my best to hydrate andnourish myself.
(19:21):
I was like, this could be 24hours, 48 hours.
Um, so I was chugging coconutwater, and I texted my doula
Emily around six o'clock, andthen 7 a.m.
I texted my midwife, whobasically said what you said,
try to ignore them, go aboutyour day.
And I was just baffled by thatbecause I they were already
(19:47):
taking my attention, like Icouldn't stand through them.
I was kneeling down over thecouch and breathing through them
already.
So ignoring them was notpossible at that point.
Um, so they kept ramping upslowly but surely.
(20:07):
I went upstairs to our birthspace.
Um, our bedroom is where we Imade a birth altar and set up
the space.
And I was assuming the sameposition on my knees, kind of
bent over the bed, and that wasmy go-to position the whole
entire birth.
Yeah, I mean I I tried otherthings and that was not
(20:29):
happening.
Um around 11 a.m., my waterbroke.
I felt a little pop and somefluid, and I knew immediately
that was the water breaking, andthat was I think one of the
only times my husband wasn'twith me the entire labor, and he
was so bummed that he missedthat moment, which was kind of
(20:50):
funny.
But I did, I checked out thefluid just to make sure it was
clear and it was, um, let themidwife know.
And then at that point, thecontractions did start getting a
little more intense withoutthat that water cushion.
And my husband started to fillup the birth tub.
Um, and about that took about30 minutes to fill.
(21:16):
And I remember in that 30minutes, I was like, okay, like
when is this tub gonna be ready?
Because it was just supersteady, um, increasing
intensity.
But the tub was amazing.
And also on my knees, kind ofleaning over the tub for the
next couple hours.
I was having um contractionsstarting in the front and then
(21:41):
wrapping around my back.
And I basically had theseintense contractions and would
just kind of collapse into myhusband's arms and just rest my
face in his hands, and he wasabsolutely anchor through the
entire entire labor.
He just sat right at the edgeof the bed and held me anytime I
(22:01):
was resting, and it was just itwas so beautiful.
We did a lot of eye gazing andbreathing together, and it was
it was the best.
Angela (22:09):
Yeah, it can be really such a beautiful like bonding
experience with your partner.
Danika (22:13):
It was, yeah, it was so so beautiful.
Um, I really just stared at himlike the whole time.
It it was it was awesome.
Um I was also surprised by howvocal I was.
I was really, really vocalizingthrough every contraction, and
(22:34):
that was there was no way Icouldn't do that.
Like that's what was happening.
The sounds were coming out, andit was really empowering just
letting all these noises movethrough me.
Um, and then around aroundnoon, so I'd been in labor about
nine hours at this point, I hada contraction that it honestly
(22:56):
kind of scared me, theintensity.
Like I could just visualize andfeel myself opening.
And that at that point, Itexted Emily um my doula to come
over because I was like, okay,I need a little more support
because I'm this is this is kindof scary, like the intensity.
(23:18):
So she got on her way, and then30 minutes later, we texted the
midwife because I was like, Ineed everybody here, please.
This is this is happening.
And I was really doing my bestto just let these contractions
move through me and surrender.
I was trying to say like yes,yes, yes, when they were
(23:40):
happening, even though everytime I start up, there was that
little like pit of dread, like,no, like not another one.
Yeah, but reframing it, thatmindset.
I mean, it's tough.
It's it is just as much amental game as it is physical.
And I kept have everycontraction I kept kind of
(24:01):
having to remind myself towelcome it and not resist.
And I overall, I think I did areally good job with that
because things were progressinglike really smoothly.
And I had read a lot of booksabout orgasmic birth and
pleasureful births, and I wastruly trying to open up that
(24:21):
pathway and imagine all of thisas pleasure, and it was just not
happening.
There was there, it was notpleasurable at all.
It was definitely pain, andthat's okay, that's what I
needed to experience, but I justthought it was funny.
I just kept trying.
I'm like, this this is this ispleasure.
This is no, it was it wasexcruciating if I'm being
(24:46):
honest, but I did it.
So I'm I'm happy I had thatthat pain because I came out
feeling so empowered that Icould endure that.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's very cool.
Yeah.
And then gosh, so I think atone o'clock, the whole bird team
(25:07):
was there.
And I was probably approachingtransition.
I was definitely getting tothat spot where I can't do this
anymore.
I was having all thosethoughts, and I I recognized
this.
I was like, oh, I think this istransition, like this is good.
And my body was getting really,really shaky that like
adrenaline was coming back in.
(25:28):
I think that's another sign oftransition.
So I was still in the tub atthis point, and I started having
those kind of pushycontractions in the tub and that
feeling like I need to have abowel movement.
Um, so at this time, my midwiferecommended getting out of the
tub and kind of sitting on thetoilet a little bit, just so I
(25:51):
could, I guess, feel thesecontractions in a different way,
like how to move through them.
And I really did not want tomove, but I did get up and it
was tremendously helpful just toposition change um and just
kind of understanding what mybody was trying to do.
And I did want to mention aswell, I requested not to have
(26:15):
any cervical checks during mylabor.
So that was respected, and Iwanted as little monitoring as
possible.
Um, so I think my midwife onlychecked us maybe three or four
times while she was there.
So it was perfect.
I did not feel like disturbedby that at all.
Baby was doing great, so I wasreally happy with with that as
(26:38):
well.
Angela (26:38):
Awesome.
Yeah, it's so important, youknow, to have the birth that you
want, you know.
Danika (26:44):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like she really respected umwhat I wanted.
I know that can be disruptivefor a lot of people getting
getting checked like that.
Um, I found everything she didreally supportive, so that was
great.
And so I'm on the toilet now,and these are moving through
these pushing contractions.
(27:05):
I found the only thing helpfulwas doing like the horse lip
breathing that just camenaturally, and I was I just kind
of stuck with that.
It was kind of like an anchor,like every time the contraction
started, I'd start horse lipbreathing.
And it was honestly superfunny, like the sounds.
I remember just laughing in myhead, being like, I sound so
(27:31):
ridiculous right now.
And I caught my husband tryingnot to laugh too.
Like, so it's kind of nice tohave some humor in in birth too.
Um, and at one point, I thinkI've probably been on the toilet
maybe four contractions, andthey are just just so
(27:51):
overwhelming.
Um it was it was my body, mybody pushing, pushing down.
I was not doing anythingmyself.
And I asked my midwife, I waslike, how much longer?
Like, I was I was done.
And she's like, Well, you canreach down and try to feel your
baby.
(28:12):
And I did, and her head wasabout an inch away.
And at this point, we didn'tknow the gender yet, but I said,
She's right there, I can feelher head.
It just it just came outintuitively.
Um, and that gave me so muchconfidence.
I was like, oh my gosh, she'sright there, and ended up
(28:34):
getting back in the tub andleaned back, and I was kind of
in a reclined position, and hada few more contractions in the
tub.
And at this point, I can feelher stretching the opening.
She's kind of turtling in andout, and that sensation was
(28:54):
very, very painful.
And I there was some fear andresistance.
I could tell I was like holdingback, holding her in a little
bit, just um allowing her tostretch.
And I think I was putting myhand down and feeling her head
too.
But I think, let's see, aboutfour contractions or so.
I heard my midwife ask myhusband, like, are you left or
(29:18):
right-handed?
Why don't you come around thisway?
And I'm thinking, oh my gosh,like we're so, so close.
Because from that position, Iwas reclined.
I really didn't feel like Icould I could catch her.
Um, so I wanted my husband tooif I if I wasn't in the position
to do that to do so.
So at that point, I kind of Ijust decided.
(29:39):
I was like, okay, nextcontraction, you're not holding
back, you're gonna let her comeout.
And I did.
I mean, I screamed at the topof my lungs, and her head came
out, and I then felt her do herrotation and Get in the next
(30:01):
position, and there's a quite abig pause between her head
coming out and her body, and Icould feel her kicking and
wriggling around in my vaginalcanal, and it was honestly so
painful.
I was like, What is go?
I was yelling, like, what isshe doing?
What's going on?
Because she was just she issuch a vigorous baby.
(30:23):
I mean, she was ready to comeout, she was trying to kick her
way out.
She's rotating, she's rotatingand just kicking and moving.
And then her body came out.
Next contraction, my husbandcaught her.
And there's about 20 seconds orso, like where I'm coming back
(30:44):
into my body.
I don't remember her beingpulled out of the water.
Um just kind of reorientingmyself.
But I did get her on my chesteventually.
And after about 20-30 seconds,she started crying.
So there was a little bit of apause before she was crying, and
then she was screaming.
So she was perfectly healthy.
(31:08):
Um, and something unique, shehad a true knot in her cord.
So I think that's about one ina thousand births.
Yeah, that's really cool.
Yeah, it was really special.
The midwives were takingpictures of it, and that can be
(31:28):
from my research, it can bedangerous if the cord is short
and you have the knot, you'remore at risk for that getting
pulled taut and um interferingwith the blood flow.
But her cord was plenty longand it was just it was so cool.
Angela (31:45):
So wow, were they able to like move the knot up and
down like the cord?
Danika (31:49):
Like, yeah, it wasn't it wasn't super tight.
It could, it could move.
Yeah, it was really specialthough.
That is special.
Um, so yeah, this was mybirthday.
She was born on my birthday.
Oh yay! Yeah, so that was justa whole nother layer of just
like rebirth for myself.
(32:11):
Like, talk about rebirth.
Yeah, that's wow, that's socool.
So I felt there was a lot ofhealing in my own birth trauma
coming into the world, just tobe able to bring my daughter in
on the same day I came into theworld in just like the most
peaceful environment possible.
(32:31):
So it was very special.
Oh wow, that's a good thing.
And my placenta, I think onlytook uh 15 to 20 minutes.
I started feeling cramping, andthen um my husband got in the
pool to hold the baby, and I goton my knees and gave one little
(32:52):
push, and the placenta cameout.
So that wasn't too horrible.
I didn't bleed very much.
Um, I did have a second degreetear, but that was sutured.
Um, but after that we had ourbeautiful golden hour and
established breastfeeding, andit was just it was just the
best.
Angela (33:12):
Oh, how sweet.
So how was your like early?
Well, I mean, you're still likeearly kind of postpartum.
Yeah.
Danika (33:20):
So how have these last eight weeks been for you?
Good.
I'm yeah, still in it.
She's she's eight weeks old,and I mean dealing with the the
normal fatigue and sleepdeprivation.
Um, but she is just such aprecious baby and breastfeeding
has been going well and overalljust just doing really well.
(33:44):
So grateful for her and ourexperience.
Angela (33:48):
Yeah.
Now, as a final question, ifyou were to give advice to
someone who's expecting or evennew parents, what is one of the
biggest things that you wouldwant to share?
Danika (34:01):
I think the biggest thing that helped me was
listening to birth stories.
I mean, I every single dayprobably I was listening to
birth stories, and that reallyreally helped me understand um
all the variations of thingsthat women can feel and how
birth can go, and justanticipating all of that was
(34:24):
really powerful.
And then I also for me havingas much education about the
process is really powerful.
So anything that I was nervousabout or having anxiety, I
basically just researched and Iread a ton of books.
(34:48):
I love the Great BirthRebellion podcast, the
evidence-based podcast about allthings birth.
So that was super helpful forme.
I took Emily's class, um it'scalled So You Want a Home Birth.
Um, and you can find her atEmbodied Women's Wisdom.
That was super helpful foranyone wanting a home birth.
Angela (35:11):
Yeah, and she's also got a really resourceful podcast to
same name, Embodies Women'sWisdom.
Danika (35:18):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So for me, just arming myselfwith all the knowledge I
possibly could.
I mean, whether you want ahospital birth or home birth, I
think it's really important toknow all the interventions and
everything that surrounds thoseso you can make informed
decisions.
Angela (35:37):
Yeah, definitely.
Learn all of the options andthen choose what feels right for
you because it's not one sizefits all.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Well, thank you so much,Danica, for taking the time to
chat with me today and shareyour story.
Thanks for having me.
It was great to share.
Before you go, I just want toremind you, I have a ton of
(36:00):
resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby, I wantyou to check out the show notes
because I have some freetrainings and free downloads
that you can sign up for, aswell as the link to access My
Labor of Low, a comprehensive,self-paced online childbirth
education course.
(36:20):
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith.
And I'd honestly love to teachyou everything that I know so
that you can prepare for anautonomous birth experience and
prepare to step into your roleas the leader of your birth
journey.
So click those show notes,check out all of those links,
(36:43):
and if you ever have anyquestions, feel free to DM me at
my mainbirth over on Instagram.
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