142. MyMaine Birth: How We Birth Matters - Part Two - Alannah's Twin Freebirth Story - MyMaine Birth

Episode Transcript
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Alannah (00:00):
So I knew who I wanted before I even got pregnant.
Um, before we even had a itwhen it was still an if, Morgan
Gaines flourish midwifery.
I had attended births with her.
She was actually, she was themidwife at the first home birth
that I ever photographed.
And so, like full circle.
But yeah, like before, so I hadattended multiple births with

(00:22):
her, so like communicated withher quite a few times, like
photographed her quite a fewtimes, seen her in action, and I
was like, Yeah, like I want youto be my midwife.
But I'm over an hour from her.
So kind of like outside whereshe would normally go.
And so, like before we evenfirst decided that we wanted to
have another baby, I was like,So if I had another baby, would

(00:43):
you be my midwife, please?
And she said that she would.
And I was like, all right,cool, good, good, good.
So I before I was evenpregnant, I was like, it's
Morgan.
I want her to be my midwife.
Like, I want her there.
That's gonna be, it's gonna bethat, it's gonna be good.
And so yeah, so she was one ofthe first people who I told.
And our first appointment, Ithink, uh like 10, 10 weeks.

(01:08):
I think I was like 10 weeks.
So just you know, going inprepared to to hear heartbeat,
and so so they so her office isin York.
I'm in West Gardner, so it's apretty long drive to get there.
But we wanted to bring the boyswith us because you know, like

(01:30):
we're having a home birth.
So, like, we wanted them to belike really involved with the
process and stuff, andobviously, like the the home
appointment doesn't happen for areally long time.
So we wanted them to come andkind of share in that like we're
hearing the baby for the firsttime, and like this is Morgan,
and you know, like all that.
So we schlep them all the wayto York.

(01:55):
Um, you know, I've beenthrowing up a lot, I was like so
uncomfortable, like I'm alreadylike just like so tired and
whatever.
And so, like, we're justtalking.
Like, I've never had a homebirth appointment before.
So I'm like, this is so nice.
Like your office is so nice,it's so comfy.
I'm just sitting on a couch andwe're just chatting and like
Morgan's awesome, and like, soit's good.

(02:17):
I was just like, yay, I lovethis.
And um, yeah, so she like hadthe Doppler and we were gonna
listen.
And we weren't it we weren'tgetting like anything super
solid.
And she was like, Oh, you know,it's it's like you're early
still, like we're just havingtrouble finding it.
So she pulled out her little,like, she has like a little

(02:37):
ultrasound thing that connectsto her iPad or whatever.
She's like, let's just lookthis way.
This will this will be fine.
So I was like, all right, cool.
So she puts the thing on, andthe second, the literal second
that the thing turns on, I'mobviously looking at the screen,
clear, I like clear, crystal,crystal clear.

(03:00):
There were two little jellybeans, and I immediately I was
just like, Morgan, Morgan,Morgan, and she was like, Oh,
yeah.
Um, and so I basically startedlike I laughed a little and that
turned into like hysterics, andthen I was crying, and then it

(03:23):
was just like becauseimmediately, because I know what
that means.
Not only does that mean like,holy crap, that's two babies, so
that's already like whoa, butthat in Maine, as we know, means
a whole lot of intervention.
That means my home birth isgone, Morgan is gone, like

(03:48):
everything that I wanted gone.
And it was like I I I cried forso long.
And of course, the boys arethere, like our three, and I'm
literally like sobbing, andthey're like, uh, you know, and
Morgan's like, it's just a lot,like it's you know, like she
like says a little thing tothem, but she literally just
like sat next to me.

(04:08):
She didn't really say anythingother than like it's gonna be
okay.
She put her hand on my arm, andmy husband like got in front of
me and he's like holding my andhe's like, It's it's okay, it's
gonna be okay, like we can dothis, like whatever.
And I'm literally just like,uh, like a sobbing mess.
And all I could think, and allI could say really was like, I

(04:29):
can't fight.
I can't fight my way throughthis.
I can't, I can't be in ahospital, I can't fight my way
through this pregnancy.
I don't want to do that becauseall I could see was like high
risk, OB, operating room, Csection being pushed on me, like
all of these interventions, allof these extra appointments,

(04:49):
like all of these things that Iwas like, I don't want any of
that.
Like I finally was gonna havelike this dream birth.
I was finally gonna have myhome birth, I was gonna
hopefully be in the water.
Morgan was gonna be there, itwas gonna be the best.
And then all of a sudden,because I, you know, being in
the birth world, I knewinstantly the second that I saw,

(05:10):
I was like, it was gone.
It was like it was like rippedright away from me.

Angela (05:16):
I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced duela, childbirtheducator, and your host here on
the My Maine Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine.
From our state's biggesthospitals, birth center births,

(05:37):
and home births.
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a student-to-bemom, a state of the mother, or
simply interested in the worldof birth, these episodes are for
you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 142of My Made Birth.

(05:57):
As we close out another year ofsharing birth stories here on
the podcast, I am so honored tohave Alana here with me for
these final episodes of 2025.
If you've listened to episode141, you've already heard her
share her first three birthstories.
And in this episode, Alanashares all about her twin

(06:20):
pregnancy and free birth story.
Part two of our conversationpicks back up with a chat about
Alana's journey to becoming aprofessional birth photographer.
You can connect with Alana andher work on Instagram or
Facebook over at BirthbodyPhotography, or you can also
visit her website,birthbodyphotography.com.

(06:41):
All right, here you go.
What was the shift then whenyou started birth photography
after that?
Then how did that happen?

Alannah (06:53):
Yes.
Birth photography.
Yeah, so I got my photos backfrom my third birth.
And I was, I literally like, Ilooked through them and I was
like, I could do that.
It was like this literal lightbulb that went off for me.
Like I knew after my oldest wasborn that like I'd really love

(07:18):
to sort of get in the the thebirth scene somehow, but I
didn't really, I couldn't reallylike figure out what that meant
for me.
And I was just so inmotherhood.
I mean, like we had our threeboys in like just under four
years, which was like just a lotall at once.
So I just didn't really feellike my time.
I didn't know, and I didn'tknow.

(07:39):
So, and I've always like hadlike a creative part of myself,
like just various creativeoutlets have felt good for me
making art of some kind.
I had never picked up a camerabefore, that had never been a
thing, but it was literallygetting my photos back.
I was like, I could do that.

(08:01):
I could, I could do that, likeI could be in the birth space,
support births in this way, andalso be making art.
And like obviously that's cool,and I could just do that.
I could totally, it wasliterally like ping, I gotta do
that, you know.
So yeah, so it was like pretty,I was pretty early postpartum.

(08:25):
I mean, like the first likecouple of months, you know, I
got my photos back and it waslike, yeah, I think that's
probably gonna be the thing.
And I had a friend who, becausemind you, like, I wasn't, I
don't know, like I wasn't justgonna like put myself out there
to the masses and like, I wantto photograph your birth, like I
don't know what I'm doing.
I I'm not a photographer, likeso.

(08:47):
But I had a friend who waspregnant, and I was like, hey,
so I kind of think I want to bea birth photographer, but I kind
of feel like I need to see ifif I do actually want to be a
birth photographer.
So could I go to Europe?
I just kind of put it out toher, and I was like, totally for

(09:10):
free.
Like, I have I make no nopromises on if anything will be
good, um, you know, whatever.
And she was like, Yeah, likeshe agreed and invited me to be
there.
And this was like months downthe road.
So, so yeah, so I ended up likeI went to her birth and was it

(09:30):
a hospital birth or a homebirth?
Yep, it was a hospital birth atMaine General with my midwife,
who who actually she ended upseeing her and like switching to
see her because I said that Ihad a good experience with her.
Um, so that was kind of cool.
I got to see her again.
And yeah, and like they'reyeah, like her and her husband

(09:51):
are like friends, you know, likewe knew, like my husband and I
knew them, so it was like theywere familiar to me.
I'd been to Maine General, Ihad met the midwife, you know,
so it was like, I don't know,it's just kind of cool.
Um and the the photos are okay.
It was my first time.

(10:12):
I've learned so much sincethen.
But I was like, you know what?
Yeah, that was really cool.
I had never seen or been towhatever any births other than
my own.
That was the first one for me,and it was like, yeah, okay,
cool, like, yeah, this is thisis cool.
This is fun.
I like this.
I want to do that again.

(10:33):
Um, and so like I just kind ofkept trying to to learn and to
research and um and kind of putmyself out there and found a
couple more people, kind of, andjust kind of kept kept on
rolling and and here we are now.

Angela (10:51):
Yeah, how cool.
Oh my goodness.

Alannah (10:53):
Yeah, it was a literal aha moment.
Like, turns out those are real.
Who knew?

Angela (11:00):
Oh, that's awesome.

Alannah (11:02):
Yeah, I feel very fortunate because I think that
becoming a birth photographerreally, really shifted so much
for me.
Like, I mean, it has connectedme with people who are just like
so amazing.
It definitely has shaped, like,I mean, my last pregnancy, like

(11:29):
my twin pregnancy, like, oh mygosh, like, thank God that I had
seen so many births and been inbeen to home births, and you
know, all of that, because itreally like I I don't know, I
think that things could havebeen different in a way that I

(11:50):
did not like if I hadn't had allof these experiences when I
found out that I was pregnantwith twins, like it could have
just been way different.

Angela (11:59):
So yeah, there's a lot that happens to poor twin mamas
in the system.

Alannah (12:05):
Oh, truly, oh truly, oh, it's brutal, honestly.
It really is, and I feel very,very fortunate that you know,
not only was it my fourthpregnancy, so like not my first
time around the block, but Ialso was a birth photographer.
And so, like, I saw what birthcould be.

(12:26):
And so, even before we wereofficially like, yeah, let's
have one more baby, which waslike a multi-year thing that it
was like, uh uh, one more four,uh okay, uh, I don't know, uh
like just back and forthforever.
Um, because I knew, like, well,okay, so if we have another

(12:47):
baby, like postpartum support'sgonna have to be way different.
I'm gonna have to prepare waydifferently.
I'm gonna have a home birth.
Like, it was all of this stuffwhere I was like, I'm gonna be
home, I'm gonna do this, I wantI wanna finally have a water
birth, like I want to do all ofthis.
Um, and honestly, like havingthat birth experience, like
that's part of what I wanted.
Like, not just to have anotherbaby, but to also have that kind

(13:10):
of experience after seeing somany times like what that care
could be like and how birthcould be at home.
And so I yeah, so we ended updeciding we were gonna have
another baby, and another babywas two babies, and I still was
like, I gotta, oh my gosh, Igotta figure this out.

Angela (13:32):
Like, so how did you find out you were pregnant with
the twins?

Alannah (13:36):
Yeah, so I uh yeah, so got pregnant quickly again, as
always.
And actually, my husband, likebefore it was like within the
time that I could take a test,he was like, You're pregnant,
you're pregnant, oh pregnant.
Like, and I was like, I don'tknow.
I didn't know first.
Well, every other time that Itook a test, except for like the

(14:00):
one month that it didn't happenwith my second pregnancy, like
it was positive right off.
I didn't like take tests andthey were negative, and then a
few days later I took them andthey were positive.
Like that wasn't how it went,but that was how it went this
time.
I took a test on the superearly end of when I could,
because I have no patiencewhatsoever, and it was negative.

(14:21):
And I was like, huh, okay,that's fine, okay, whatever.
Um, and then I still was justlike, uh, well, we're still in
that window.
I don't know.
And so I took another test andit was positive.
I got up, I like had all my allmy things were prepared.
Like my husband didn't knowthat I was like, I always buy

(14:42):
pregnancy tests in secret, likea maniac.
I don't know, like as if he'snot partaking in, you know,
whatever.
So like so silly.
But um, so I got up at like Idon't know, 5 a.m.
or you know, because the firstP in the morning is the best
one.
And I was like, I don't wantanyone to know everybody was

(15:03):
asleep.
I was able to just like go intothe bathroom all quietly by
myself.
Um and it showed up positive.
And I was like, oh my God, likeof course, of course, because
you know, like my husband'slike, you're pregnant.
I'm like, I don't know.
And I was like, go figure.
Um, and I want it because likethis was gonna be our last baby.
So I was like, I want to comeup with like a really sweet way

(15:24):
to tell him, like whatever.
Um, and I just went in and Ijust like woke him up.
Like it was not like this wellthought out.
I mean, like the the wellthought out piece actually was
like I had this sort of ideabefore we um we decided like for
sure, like, okay, like we'regonna try to have a baby.
I wanted to have I wanted tolike take videos of like me

(15:48):
finding out and like him findingout and like the boys finding
out, and I wanted to take thesevideos.
And so like I had my cameralike rolling to take a video of
him.
And I mean, that's ourannouncement video, so like you
probably saw it.
Um, yeah, so so yeah, and ofcourse, like you know, our boys
are still like waking up duringthe night and stuff, and he kind

(16:10):
of like heard me come in alittle bit, and I sort of like,
you know, one he sees me and hewas like, Oh, get me up for a
night.
Like, and I was like, Well,that's not gonna change.
Like, I held up the pregnancytest and he smiled and like
pulled me in for a hug.
And like I just like happycried a little bit, and it was

(16:31):
very sweet.
And and then we were just kindof like in disbelief, like, oh
my god, okay, yay! Like we werehappy, but also like, oh my god,
like, oh, okay, we were out ofpractice, you know.
Like our at the time youngestwas like four, you know, or like
about to be four.
And so it was like, oh mygoodness, like this has been a
while, okay, like this isexciting, and oh my goodness,

(16:53):
and like we were excited to tellthe boys, but like didn't know
like how we wanted to do it, youknow.
So it just kind of like broughtup all of this, like, oh,
excitement, and yeah, so it wascool.
We were we were happy.
We didn't know it was twins atthe time, we just thought it was
just the one.
So that was pretty wild.

Angela (17:11):
Oh my gosh.
So, what were your thoughts inchoosing your care?
Did you have like a certainmidwife that you wanted to go
with?
How did that kind of unfoldlike after you found out?

Alannah (17:19):
Yeah, so I knew who I wanted before I even got
pregnant.
Um, before we even had a itwhen it was still an if, um,
Morgan Gaines flourishmidwifery.
Um, I had attended births withher.
She was actually, she was themidwife at the first home birth
that I ever photographed.
And so like full circle.

(17:40):
But um, but yeah, like before,so I had attended multiple
births with her, so likecommunicated with her quite a
few times, like photographed herquite a few times, seen her in
action, and I was like, Yeah,like I want you to be my
midwife.
Um, but I'm over an hour fromher.
Um, so kind of like outsidewhere she would normally go.

(18:00):
And so, like before we evenfirst sure decided that we
wanted to have another baby, Iwas like, So if I had another
baby, would you be my midwife,please?
And she said that she would.
And I was like, all right,cool, good, good, good.
So, so I before I was evenpregnant, I was like, it's
Morgan.
I want her to be my midwife.
Like, I want her there.

(18:21):
It's gonna be, it's gonna bethat, it's gonna be good.
And so yeah, so she was one ofthe first people who I told.
And our first appointment, Ithink, uh like 10, 10 weeks.
I think I was like 10 weeks.
So just you know, going inprepared to to hear heartbeat,

(18:42):
and so so they so her office isin York.
I'm in West Gardner, so it's apretty long drive to get there.
But we wanted to bring the boyswith us because you know, like
we're having a home birth.
So, like, we wanted them to belike really involved with the
process and stuff, andobviously, like the the home

(19:03):
appointment doesn't happen for areally long time.
So we wanted them to come andkind of share in that like we're
hearing the baby for the firsttime, and like this is Morgan,
and you know, like all that.
So we schlep them all the wayto York.
Um, you know, I've beenthrowing up a lot, I was like so

(19:24):
uncomfortable.
Like I've already like justlike so tired and whatever.
And so, like, we're justtalking.
Like, I've never had a homebirth appointment before.
So I'm like, this is so nice.
Like your office is so nice.
This is so comfy.
I'm just sitting on the couchand we're just chatting and like
Morgan's awesome.
And like, so it's good.
I was just like, yay, I lovethis.

(19:44):
And um, yeah.
So she like had the Doppler andwe were gonna listen.
And we weren't it, we weren'tgetting like anything super
solid.
And she was like, Oh, you know,it's it's like you're early
still, like we're just havingtrouble finding it.
So She pulled out her little,like, she has like a little
ultrasound thing that connectsto her iPad or whatever.

(20:05):
She's like, let's just lookthis way.
This will this will be fine.
So I was like, all right, cool.
So she puts the thing on.
And the second, the literalsecond that the thing turns on,
I'm obviously looking at thescreen.
Clear.
I like clear, crystal, crystalclear.

(20:26):
There were two little jellybeans.
And I immediately I was justlike, Morgan, Morgan, Morgan.
And she was like, oh yeah.
Um, and so I basically startedlike I laughed a little and that
turned into like hysterics, andthen I was crying, and then it

(20:48):
was just like becauseimmediately, because I know what
that means.
Not only does that mean like,holy crap, that's two babies.
So that's already like whoa,but that in Maine, as we know,
means a whole lot ofintervention.
That means my home birth isgone, Morgan is gone, like

(21:13):
everything that I wanted gone.
And it was like, I cried for solong.
And of course the boys arethere, like our three, and I'm
literally like sobbing, andthey're like, Oh, you know, and
Morgan's like, it's just a lot,like it's you know, like she
like says a little thing tothem, but she literally just
like sat next to me.

(21:34):
She didn't really say anythingother than like it's gonna be
okay.
She put her hand on my arm andmy husband like got in front of
me and he's like holding my andhe's like, it's it's okay, it's
gonna be okay, like we can dothis, like whatever.
And I'm literally just like,uh, like a sobbing mess.
And all I could think, and allI could say really was like, I

(21:54):
can't fight.
I can't fight my way throughthis.
I can't, I can't be in ahospital, I can't fight my way
through this pregnancy.
I don't want to do that becauseall I could see was like high
risk, OB, operating room,C-section being pushed on me,
like all of these interventions,all of these extra
appointments, like all of thesethings that I was like, I don't

(22:17):
want any of that.
Like I finally was gonna havelike this dream birth.
I was finally gonna have myhome birth, I was gonna
hopefully be in the water.
Morgan was gonna be there, itwas gonna be the best.
And then all of a sudden,because I, you know, being in
the birth world, I knewinstantly the second that I saw,
I was like, it was gone.

(22:38):
It was like it was like rippedright away from me.
And I was like, I wasdevastated, I was horrified, I
was scared, I was like, like allof the happiness just like
sucked right out of me because Iwas suddenly faced with all of
this, this unknown.
In a way, it was like I knew,but like didn't.
Like I knew what I was gonnapotentially be facing, but like

(23:01):
I didn't really know and Ididn't want to do it.
And it was just like, I don'twant to fight, I don't want to
fight through this.
Like I didn't, I didn't wantany of that because like with
Morgan, she she knew me already.
She knew what I wanted, sheknew, and and it was simple, and
it was like I knew that I couldsay it to her, and that's what
it would be because she trustsbirth and she would trust me and

(23:25):
what I wanted to do.
And like I and I and I trustedher, and like I knew that it
would be fine.
And all of a sudden, it waslike everything around me came
shattering down, and it was itwas so scary.
And my poor boys, oh my god,like that was not how I wanted
that, like, you know, where Iwas like, it wasn't just this,

(23:46):
like, oh look, we're listeningto the baby, you know, it was
all of a sudden it was like, ohmy gosh, like this big dramatic
whole situation.
And I remember my oldest, hewas like, I like, you know,
because of course they think I'mcrying, like about the b, you
know, and I had to be like, I'mnot, it's not about the babies,
guys, not about the babies.
And you know, Morgan was like,it's just a lot, you know,
because of course I'm not inthat moment gonna be like, this

(24:09):
is what all this means, smallchildren, you know.
It was just like I couldn'teven so, you know, but my oldest
was like, he's so sweet.
He was like, You guys are agood team, like, well, it'll be
okay, or whatever.
And I was just like, uh, likehe's crying.
But I'm like, oh my god, I loveyou.
Like, you're so sweet.

(24:30):
So that was a long appointmentbecause it was mostly just me
like crying.
Um, and obviously nothing waseven like 100% for sure because
this was not like any officialultrasound.
This was not like a realultrasound machine with an
ultrasound tech and a whatever.
Like, this was just likeMorgan's little thing, and this

(24:51):
is like what we saw, and so thisis what we're gonna go off of.
But obviously, like really itwas like at I did choose to have
an anatomy scan at 20 weeks,and that's obviously what it was
really like okay, like this forsure twins in there, like this
is what's going on.
But um, but yeah, so I mean,like, she just she explained to
me sort of like the kind oftwins that it appeared that we

(25:14):
had die die twins.
So they both had their ownsack, they both had their own
placenta that she could tell.
So none of this was likeofficial, official, but she was
like, This is what I think.
Um, and so she explained that.
She explained that that that'syou know, typically the least
risky uh out of all types oftwins that you could have.

(25:36):
And that, like, we'll we willwork it out, we'll figure
something out, you know.
And I was just like, okay,like, I don't know.
It was just, I was my world wasrocked.
And I was like a disaster forlike a couple of weeks.
And then, of course, on the wayhome, like after all of that,

(25:58):
like I'm so anxious.
I'm like, I have a splittingheadache because I've just been
sobbing for so long.
We've got all three kids withus.
We were there way later than weexpected to be.
It's an hour and a half home.
They're hungry.
It was like a disaster.
And then we get on the road, wemade it to like the next exit,

(26:20):
and all of a sudden, this superloud, we're on the highway, and
a super loud sound, like I hitsomething, but I didn't hit
anything.
And I was like, what on earth?
Like, mind you, I we're I'mlike sitting in silence, like
crying a little still, like outof my mind.
And I was like, what was that?
You know, whatever.
And then all of a sudden, likeI'm hearing like this boom, boom

(26:41):
sound, and and I moved myrearview mirror and I looked
back, and we had blown a tirealmost an hour and a half away
from home on the side, like on95, like in southern Maine,
which is like busy.
And I was, I just like couldhave like jumped off a cliff.

(27:03):
Like I was like, I can't takeanymore.
Because that's also likesecretly one of like my biggest
sort of like fears is that likeon the highway I'm gonna lose a
tire or something.
And so, of course, like thetire blows, and I'm like, okay,
and so then like my husband ison the side of the highway, like
putting a donut on, and I'mlike so anxious that like a
freaking car is gonna run himover while he's out of the car,

(27:26):
and I'm like staring at him inthe rearview mirror, like
watching, watching, watching,and like so, but like on those
tires, you're not reallysupposed to go super fast on
those donut tires, and so wetook the back way home, which
made it like double the amountof time.
Um, and so it was like so lateby the time we got like way past

(27:48):
the kids' bedtimes, it's dark,and it was summertime, so it was
late if it was dark.
So, so yeah, and it was justlike, oh my god.
And my in-laws live on ourproperty, and we didn't want,
and we had only just told themlike a few days before, like we
kept it.
We no one knew for like twomonths, like we were so silent

(28:11):
about it, even the boys.
So, but we didn't want the boysto blow it about it being twins
to my in-laws before we got achance to tell them.
But they obviously knew thatlike the tire blew, it was like
a whole thing, we're runninglate, whatever.
So, so we finally get in andwe're like schlepping the boys
in and whatever.

(28:31):
We get them in bed, and we werelike, Well, I guess we gotta go
tell them, okay.
Like, oh my gosh.
And so, but of course, I'm likewanting to.
I videoed everyone's reactionto my pregnancy, right?
So then I'm like, well, this islike pregnancy 2.0.
So we again, even though itwe're like in distress, we we

(28:56):
still like my husband, like justdis discreetly like turned his
camera on.
So like I went over with withthe ultrasound picture that you
know we're we're assuming thisis really it, this is really
twins.
And so like I hand it to them,and I was like, Yeah, we got to
see, we got to see, and I handit, and you know, they're like,
What are what are we looking at?
And I'm like, oh good, okay.

(29:17):
So I was like, well, that'sthat's a baby right there, and
that's another baby.
And they were like, What?
You know, it was like thiswhole, and we were like, Yeah,
so it's twins, I guess, youknow, like this whole, and they
were literally like uh what uhlike no, you know, it's like the

(29:38):
best video because mymother-in-law is like, uh, I
don't even know what to, I don'teven know what to do with that.
Like, uh, uh, you know, and I'mlike, yeah, girl, same.
Like, so it kind of added alittle bit of like like a boost,
sort of, because it was justkind of funny to like see them,
you know.
But we were like, I mostly mymy husband was like probably

(29:59):
internally freaking out, butlike outwardly handling
everything very well because Isure was not.
So yeah, so that was that waspretty crazy.
That was really crazy.

Angela (30:12):
Wow, wow.
So yeah, it's a really, reallybig deal to to want to have that
home birth and then to get newslike twins or your baby's
breach or sorry, you had twoC-sections, you can't do this
anymore.
And right.
Um so you had you had met Nayaduring your time as a birth
photographer, right?

(30:32):
Was when was the first time yousort of heard about free birth?
Because you had alsophotographed a beautiful
Christmas morning free birth atsome point in between here,
right?
Like backtrack to that justlike for a moment.

Alannah (30:44):
Yep, yeah.
So it was definitely before Iwas hired for that birth that
that I had um come across Naya'spage on Instagram.
And so like I definitely heardabout free birth.
I hadn't known anybody who haddone it, I hadn't photographed
one, um, and then I did gethired for one, and then she

(31:05):
actually was gonna be there.
So um, so that was really,yeah, the first time that I had
ever witnessed a free birth, andit was like it was really
awesome.
I mean, like she did reallygreat, and like I don't know, it
was just really cool to kind ofsee what happens when there's
no one to interfere, good orbad, you know.

(31:26):
And I mean, that definitelylike had an impact on me for
sure.
And I mean, I still wanted tohave a midwife personally, but
um, but it definitely just sortof like this like reaffirms like
we were born for that, like wewere designed for that, and we

(31:48):
can do it.
And a lot of the time when wequote unquote can't do it, it's
because of something, like fromthe outside, not necessarily
because of our own bodies or ourbabies.
Like, sure, that might happen,but I think it is not as common
as we may think, you know.

(32:10):
So, so yeah, so that birth wasreally cool, and I was so glad
to be a part of it.
And and I know those pictures,like I think those really
impacted a lot of people, andI'm like so honored to have been
the one to have taken them, andthat like I was able to share
some of them because I thinkthat like that's I mean, like
photos like that and storieslike that, it's like there's not

(32:32):
enough, you know, there's justnot enough.
And for people to be able tosee that, it's like it it
changes things, so yeah, soyeah, it was really cool.

Angela (32:42):
So you had that in your realm at this point as you're
processing twins and the loss ofbeing able to have a licensed,
experienced home birth midwifehere in Maine.
Yep.
What were your thoughts then,like as things unfolded over
those next few weeks?

Alannah (33:02):
Like yeah, so I mean, I was I was in like such turmoil.
Like I I texted Morgan the nextmorning and it was like this
big long message, and I wasliterally just like, what am I
supposed to do?
I don't know what to do, Idon't know how to feel, I don't
know what to think.
How can I possibly do this?
Like, I can't be in a hospital,like I don't want to be in an

(33:24):
OR, I don't want an OB, I don'twant to be high risk, I don't
want any of this.
Like, what on earth, you know?
And she was just like, I know,I know, and I'm sorry, and it's
stupid that it is like this, andum, and I mean she she said,
like, this might not look howyou wanted it to look, and and I

(33:50):
know that that doesn't feelvery good, um, but you know, but
she was like, but like justlike a day at a time, like just
a day at a time, you know, andshe just kept like I think just
trying to like slow me down alittle bit because of course I'm
like out of it, like totallylike just envisioning this
nightmare that I didn't want anypart of, you know.

(34:12):
And I think she was very muchjust like, hold on, hold on,
hold on.
Like this, this might be thiswe might have to get creative
here, like it might not end uphow you really want, but like I
think she was probably likeknowing her, just trying to
remind me that like I still havea voice, and like no decisions
had to be made that moment, andlike it was gonna be okay in the

(34:34):
end.
Like, it was gonna be okay, andlike she wasn't gonna bail on
me, like she was still gonna bethere for me, however, she could
be, and I wasn't gonna doalone, and you know, whatever.
And I just was like, I justcried so much.
I was so anxious, I was soupset, and I just like I didn't
know what to do with it, youknow.
Like, that's such a twins aloneis a whole thing to have to

(34:57):
process, let alone when like thewhole idea of like what my care
and my birth was gonna be likechanging like that.
Like, yeah.
So it was just like kind of alot of back and forth with
Morgan, just sort of a lot of merunning over, like, okay, if I
have to have a C-section, likemaybe I can really push my way

(35:21):
into a maternal-assistedC-section, like maybe I can make
that happen somehow.
And I'm like, I'm like runningthrough all of these ways of how
I'm gonna have to fight, howI'm gonna have to push and push
and push and advocate andadvocate and advocate.
And like, it was justexhausting thinking about it.
Like, I didn't want to have todo any of that, you know.
And like I didn't, and like Iknew a lot of the time that like

(35:42):
with twins, even if they quoteunquote let you have a vaginal
birth, that they often aretrying to get you to do it in
the OR with a whole bunch ofextra people because they're
expecting something to go wrongand they want to be ready and
whatever.
And it was like, I just didn'twant any of that.
And so I mean, I was eventalking to her about the
possibility.
She she asked me, she was like,Would you be willing to go to

(36:04):
New Hampshire?
Like, would you be willing togo somewhere else?
Like, you know, and then so I'mthinking about that.
Like, okay, if I went there,like what might that look like?
Would I have to get an Airbnb?
Do I know someone who I couldstay with?
Like, what would that like ahotel?
Like whatever, like all ofthis, because you know, it was
like I just I was holding on sotightly, so tightly to this idea

(36:28):
that like I I have, I'm justlike was so desperate to to keep
my birth that I wanted, youknow.
So it was, it was even talkingabout talking about going to
another state.
Like it was like gettingcreative with how I could stay
out of out of an OB's hands, youknow, because that that was

(36:52):
like literally the last thing Iever wanted was to be in that
situation.

Angela (36:57):
So in New Hampshire, you are the home birth midwives
able to go to the births withtwins?
I'm actually not too familiarwith the law in New Hampshire.

Alannah (37:06):
I'm not honestly 100% familiar either.
Um, I'm trying to rememberback.
So what I think it is, I'm not100% sure about not completely
sure about um like a home birthmidwife, but I think that what
it is is that what is it?
A I'm like all of the letters.

(37:26):
I'm like, okay, a CNM ishospital midwife, right?
So they can I I think theirlicense there is like more open
to like they can also pra likecatch babies at home too, or

(37:47):
something like that.
There's something like that.
I'm like really trying toremember.
Um there are midwives therethat catch twins at home.
And I think that they might,they might be seeing like there,
there's just something withlike there's more flexibility
for them somehow, or somethingwhere they can kind of like do
both or something.

(38:07):
And like nobody quote me on anyof that because I'm not 100%.
But it was something like that.

Angela (38:14):
Yeah.
Also, I think another likelittle loophole for moms that
might be in this situation is atraveling midwife who's not
licensed but still veryexperienced.
Like, had you ever consideredthat?

Alannah (38:26):
Yeah, actually.
Um a friend of mine.
Um, I've never actually mether, but like friends online.
Um she she's another birthphotographer.
Um, she's actually uh Hacinta,she's doing the documentary
Allowed to Birth.
So, like talking to her, sheactually brought up is it

(38:47):
Christine?
I don't want to say her namewrong now.
Chris Christine.
Yeah, Christine.
Um, she was like, would you beopen to like a traveling,
whatever?
And I was like, I don't know,maybe uh like I was so just like
uh and I was also nervousbecause like my my births, my
last two births had actuallybeen like kind of quick in the
grand scheme of things.

(39:07):
And so I was like, oh, likewhat if what if people don't get
there?
Like, I don't know what's gonnahappen, you know.
So it was kind of like I feltopen to talking about anything,
but was just so like nothingoutside of giving birth in my
house like felt fine.
So like going to New Hampshireor whatever, this and that.

(39:29):
And I was just like, I don'tlike any of this.
I hate all of this, I'm sofrustrated, I'm so whatever.
And yeah, so it was just a lot,it was a lot of conversations,
it was a lot of like back andforth with Morgan, it was a lot
of back and forth with myhusband, it was a lot of just
like I don't know, and also likereally isolating in a way too,
because like even people who Italked to in Maine who had home

(39:51):
births in Maine, like, and knewthat I wanted a home birth.
Like, they didn't know, likefriends of mine, for example,
didn't know.
That twins meant that Iwouldn't be able to do that.
So they're like, oh my God.
And I'm like, no, like I'mholding on to this, like really
like devastating feeling.

(40:12):
And like no one even realizes,you know, that this is like, so
I'm like sharing that and justfeeling like, oh my God, like,
why can't this be simple?
Like, why does it have to belike this?
And just feeling likeresentment, you know, I'm like,
Maine, get it together.
I don't know.

Angela (40:29):
Well, unfortunately, it's a newer thing.
In 2020, was when the licensurelaw took effect.
And before that, like I have uhheard a story just recently of
a mom who seven years ago hadtwin home births.
The only thing was the midwiveswanted to have three midwives
there, so one for each baby.
Yeah, mom.
But like it, like midwives whofelt comfortable, you know, in

(40:52):
that space were able to go andsupport moms and home that
wanted that.
Like, of course, like if amidwife doesn't feel comfortable
with that, then they shouldn't,they shouldn't take on clients
with twins.
But like it's so ridiculous howthe law like limits all
midwives from a complex.

Alannah (41:09):
Right.
And that was something that wasso frustrating to me, where I
was like, why don't I get tochoose?
Why don't I get to make thatdecision for myself with my
midwife on what I'm comfortablewith and what she's comfortable
with and what risks I'm willingto take with my body and my
babies and like all of that?
Like, why don't I get to decidethat?

(41:30):
Like, that's crazy.
Like, this is ridiculous.
I was I was really upset aboutthat.
And I didn't realize that thatwas a like sort of a newer, a
newer sort of a thing, too.
So even more lame.
Yeah.
So yeah, so it was a lot.
Um, and I did end up gettingconnected with somebody who like

(41:53):
had been to like lots ofmultiple births and like was
comfortable like being in thatspace and stuff.
And so like she was gonna shewas gonna come and hang out and
like just kind of like be apresence, like supportive and
like just like reassuring andstuff like that.
Um, she actually didn't makeit, she didn't make it to the

(42:17):
birth.
Um but but other than that, itwas like I mean, you just like
the narrative around anunassisted birth is like so
weird because like even likedoulas, for example, it's like,
and even in the birthphotographer world, like you

(42:38):
just kind of like see thesesnippets of conversations where
it's like, oh, well, like ifyou're going to a free birth,
like don't touch anything, don'tdo anything, don't whatever,
like keep your hands free, likeyou never know, like you'd be
facing a loss if this blah blahblah.
And I'm like, what is that?
Like, I never felt that goingto a free birth.
I was like, first of all, likewhat am I gonna touch?
Like, I'm not gonna be like,that's my baby, and like, no,

(43:00):
I'm not gonna like do anythinglike that.
Like, I don't know.
Like, I might hand someonetheir water or a towel or
whatever, but like sue me.
Like, what?
I don't know.
I was like, this is so weird.
Like, I've never felt that way.
And I sure as heck didn't wantanybody coming into my space
that felt that way.
Because, you know, I mean, thatwas part of like even going to

(43:22):
a hospital, even if I could, youknow, avoid, you know, being in
an OR and like doing all ofthat, like it was still just
like the whole vibe of likesomeone's waiting for something
to go wrong.
Like, I didn't want any of thatbecause I didn't feel like
that.
Like, I very much, even thoughI was carrying twins, like I
felt like it was like I was justpregnant.

(43:46):
There was nothing wrong.
I was just like it was justlike a twofer.
Like I had two pregnancies atthe same time.
Like the babies were fine, andI was fine, and like there's
nothing major going on.
And I felt like, why are wegonna act like something's gonna
go wrong when something verywell might not go wrong?
Like, I don't want that vibe, Idon't want that energy, like,

(44:08):
you know, and I just couldn'thelp but think like how many
twin births are messed withbecause of that, because
something could happen, youknow, and I just like was not I
didn't feel high risk.
Like, if I could just take thatlabel off, you know, I'm like,
okay, I'm pregnant with twins,but what about me is high risk

(44:28):
right now?
Like, I am healthy, like theyare healthy.
There's nothing actively wrong.
So why are we gonna push meinto this category and like just
set me up for for interventionand for like just meddling?
And I just didn't want any ofthat.
So I was kind of faced withlike, well, you know, like what

(44:53):
are you, what are you gonna dothen?
You know, like, and so like Idid have like find someone who
was like happy to kind of likebe a presence here, and so we
were just gonna kind of like gowith it because like I said,
like in my gut, I was like, thisis this is okay, like it's
gonna be okay.
Like I learned, I learned abouttwin birth, and you know, and

(45:13):
she was super knowledgeablebecause like she like had been
to and learned about lots oftwin birth stuff, and so like
she was sharing her informationwith me and just kind of like
the different scenarios on likehow they might come out or like
what things might and like kindof just the way of things, and
so it was like I was just kindof learning about that and just

(45:34):
kind of riding it, riding thewave of of being really pregnant
with two babies, and it wasreally hard.
Like my body, it was like I wassick, I was tired, I was like
my body hurt so much.
I mean, like you think like forfor how much you're growing and

(45:54):
changing with one baby, it wasthat, but like times two, it was
just like this rapid growth,this rapid change, and it was
yeah, it was a lot, it was a loton my body.

Angela (46:05):
Yeah.
So were you able to have Morgando your prenatal care, or was
she not able to do that?
Um, I don't know exactly whathow that works.

Alannah (46:15):
Yeah, so I think like license stuff, like I think that
like technically that she canand like because really like
people like you could do likeco-care, you can like kind of
really I think there isflexibility with that.
So I did um like talk with hera couple of times and I did see
her, but like we didn't I feellike we didn't like officially
really like get into stuff untilafter 20 weeks.

(46:39):
I don't know.
I mean I just like we justtreated it like a regular
pregnancy, you know, like whenwe were talking and like how are
you feeling and whatever, andlike so like I did see her and
she still like took care of mepostpartum and stuff, which was
awesome.
So like I still like got thatbenefit of like having my
midwife in a way, uh but itreally definitely sucked that it

(47:02):
wasn't gonna be able to be thewhole deal, you know, like start
to finish kind of a thing.
So it was a little funny inthat way, but um, but like I
just I knew that she was stilllike there for me, so that was
really helpful.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
Yeah, yeah, wow.
That meant a lot, yeah.

Alannah (47:22):
And as you know, I still gave birth at home, so I
did go ahead and do that becauselike, and it's funny too, like
the you know, the possibility ofbaby B being breach is like 50
or something, you know, and likethe way that they were in
there, I was like, uh she mightbe breach, you know.
In my pregnancy, I was like,that might happen.

(47:43):
I hope it doesn't happen, butthat might happen.
But like once baby A is out,like there's room to sort of
have them move around and youknow, whatever.
So it was kind of like youdon't know till you know.
And like all of my other laborshad started more with like
contractions.
I had never had a labor startwith my water breaking, so that

(48:03):
was a new thing for me.
And I didn't expect it.
I really like I was I was 36and four, I believe.

Angela (48:13):
Um more second before we're um you decided to hire a
birth photographer for your freebirth of your twins, also,
right?
Can you share a little bit justabout that?
Because yeah, I mean, even likekind of in comparison to when
you were invited to a freebirth, you know, like what you
know, was she totally down?
Like, how did that all go?

(48:33):
Like setting that up.

Alannah (48:35):
Brie, yes.
Um, so Breezy photography, Brieis like shout her out because
she was like such a cheerleaderfor me.
She was not worried about anyof that.
And if she was, like, I didn'tfeel it.
She was super supportive, shewas super just like right on,
like you do you, sister, likeall for it, whatever I wanted to

(48:55):
do.
She was like, I'm there foryou.
Because she she knew before Iknew that it was twins that I
was pregnant because she wasn'treally like actively taking on
birth at that time.
And I was like, Hey, can youthough?
Um, and of course she did, andshe was like, Yes, I'd love to.
And I was always super gladabout that.
Um, because like her and I kindof like became friends before

(49:15):
that.
And so, like, when I found outI was pregnant, I was like, Oh,
it'd be really cool if she coulddo that.
And so she was willing to, andthen I found out I was twins,
and I was like, So I don't knowwhat's gonna happen, but like I
still want you to be there ifyou'll be there, and she was
like, I'm there, and I was like,Okay, so yeah, so she was super
cool.
I did not feel any of that vibeof like concern or like any

(49:38):
none of that, none of that.
And she was the only onebesides my husband who was here,
so so that ended up beingreally cool.
She was so helpful and sosupportive, and yeah, I'm really
glad.
I'm so glad that she was herebecause honestly, like I was in
doubt in like when I was inlabor, and like my husband and I
kind of ended up being like,Oh, okay, screw it, maybe you

(50:00):
should just have her come.
And minutes, minutes to spare.
So, like, thank God.
So that was pretty crazy, butyeah, she was there, and I'm so
glad she was awesome.

Angela (50:13):
Wow, that's amazing.
Yeah, she was a good present.
Yeah, that's so exciting.
Oh my gosh.
Okay, so 36 plus four.
How did things get started?

Alannah (50:23):
Yeah, so um, so yeah, so like I said, I never had my
water just like break before,but I actually like was having
that feeling for like weeksahead of time where like I was
worried that when I was going tothe bathroom that my water was
gonna break because I just feltlike so big and there was so
much pressure in like thetoilet, like magic things happen

(50:44):
on the toilet when you're likepregnant or like in labor and
whatever.
And and so like I kept beinglike, okay, I don't want that to
happen too soon.
Like, like, don't push your peeout, just let like don't let
anything happen.
I don't know.
It was like, I just like hadthis like, oh, my water is gonna
like break on the toilet.
I was all worried about it.
And then sure enough, I stoodup from going to the bathroom

(51:06):
and I was like, oh, maybe Iwasn't done.
Like, I don't know.
But then there was like more,and I was like, oh, um, okay, I
think my water wrong.
So, but of course, time andtime again, I've seen that
sometimes when your waterbreaks, like nothing happens.
And so I was like, oh God, no,don't let it be that.
Cause like I don't want to goto the hospital.

(51:29):
Like, I'm not doing so.
I was like, okay, like this isfine.
Like, we've got time.
Like, there's no no worries.
It's good.
Like, I was just in this spaceof like, well, this was sooner
than I thought it was going tobe.
But we've like got some time.
Like, it's fine.
We did not have time.
There was not time.
There was not time at all.
That was foolish.
No way.

(51:50):
Um, my boys went next door tomy in-laws' house, which they
were gonna do anyway.
Um, and then like while theywere kind of getting ready to
go, that was when my waterbroke.
So I was kind of like, oh,well, okay.
Um, and so my husband, like, hestayed home from work and um
and like I called mymother-in-law and I was like,
Don't freak out, don't sayanything to the boys, like it's

(52:12):
all good.
Just wanted to let you knowthat my water broke.
And she was like, Oh, um, whatdo we do?
And I was like, nothing.
Watch the boys, please.
Yeah, I was like, just resume.
Like, act, act natural, youknow.
Um, so yeah, so she's like, um,okay, but like, is any is

(52:34):
something happening?
But and I was like, no, likeliterally nothing's going on,
like it's fine.
Um, I was like, we probablyhave a while.
And I had been having likebracket picks and like all that
for my pregnancy.
So I was just like, whatever,like this is not this is not a
thing right now, but I'll keepyou posted, kind of a thing, you
know.
She never had an update afterthat.
Cause things picked up, like,of course.

(52:56):
And I'm like talking to mysupport, I'm talking to Brie,
you know, whatever.
And I'm just like, just want tolet you know, like, this is
what's going on.
But like, like, I think I'mcontracting, like, it's
manageable.
I'm not like, you know, doubledover, having to do anything
crazy to cope.
It's okay.
And like, really quickly, itwas not okay, like, really
quickly, you know, I have likehave my husband like running

(53:17):
around, like vacuuming and likedoing this and like blowing up
the birth pool.
And I'm just sitting on thecouch, like with my phone, like
top chef reruns are on TV, likeon Peacock.
I'm like, it's so random.
I'm like, what are you doing?
But I'm just sitting there,like wearing a t-shirt, just
sitting on a Chuck's pad, likejust half naked on my couch,
just just rocking it, just likewhatever, like letting it go.

(53:40):
Cause I'm thinking I've got awhile.
Again, no, did not have awhile.
And so, like, my husband'sdoing his thing.
And I at one point was like,can you just be done?
Like, I I need I need you tocome here.
Like, I need you over here.
And he came over and I likecried.
And because things wereactually getting intense.

(54:01):
I was having actually breathedthrough them, and I was like,
Oh, no way, like this sucks.
Like, just way too soon to bethis uncomfortable.
Like, oh no.
Um, and he came over to me andI was like, and I cried, and
which of course I'm like, oh,like you're about to push out a
baby, duh.
Okay.
But of course, in the moment, Iwas not there at all.

(54:22):
I was just like, oh, I'm notgonna be able to keep up with
this.
Like it's I'm just whatever,you know.
And so, like, I want to get inthe water, and so the tub is in
our room, and like he's youknow, getting the hose hooked up
and whatever, and in thebathroom and bringing it out to
the to the tub in our room, andwhat and I remember being like,
is it full yet?

(54:44):
Um, I'm just literally sittingon the couch.
Like, I didn't do any, I sat onthe couch, that was it.
And he was like, Well, like theit's one of the earth, what is
it, earth side births?
There's like a little seat init or whatever.
And he was like, the water's upto like the seat.
And I was like, Oh no.
I was like, okay, I'm like solike, oh my God, I'm like really

(55:09):
breathing.
I'm like uncomfortable, likebreathe thankfully was on her
way.
Because I had told her no.
And then really quickly, Camcalled her back, my husband, and
he was like, I think you shouldprobably come.
So she came.
Um, but not until so like so.
The water was like filling up,and I was like so freaked out
that I wasn't gonna get into thetub because I was so

(55:30):
uncomfortable.
I was like, I don't think Icould stand up.
Like it was there's like, Imean, I already was existing
just with so much pressurebecause there was two babies and
two placents.
It was like so much on my bodyalready.
And then like standing up, Iwas like, oh, like, oh my god.
So I'm like hobbling, hobbling,hobbling down the hallway with

(55:50):
my husband.
Um, like stopped for acontraction and was just like,
oh my god.
And I get to the tub and I likeI got in and it felt so good.
It was warm, it felt like a hugand I could relax.
And I was like, oh, thank God.
And I was still like very therefor how like in labor I was.

(56:11):
Like I was still very likepresent where I was like, okay,
like I need you to do this, Ineed you to do that.
Like I had him, like at thatpoint, I didn't know where Brie
was.
I was feeling reallyuncomfortable.
I kind of had like a gruntysort of feeling of one of my
control, and I was like, oh God,okay.
So I was like, set up yourphone, uh like put your phone on

(56:35):
a tripod, like turn your videoon, get that going, whatever.
And literally the first thingon the video, I'm about to
swear, just FYI.
The first thing on the videowas me going, but what if I
shit?
And he goes, if you shit, youshit.
I was like, okay.
So that was kind of funny.
Um, and yeah, and it was likeBree showed up and she was like,

(57:00):
What do you, what do you guysneed?
And I was like, get your cameraout.
We're gonna have a baby reallysoon.
And we did, I mean, I'm tellingshe was there for like five
minutes or something.
Like it was a very small amountof time.
I was so relieved, thank God.
And so, like, my husband wasoutside of the tub, he had his
arms like in the water.
I was kind of like leaning sortof back, like sort of like on

(57:23):
my back, like however, I don't,that was just like where I
wanted to be.
It was just sort of likeleaning back and like, yeah, and
like on sort of like on one, Idon't know, whatever.
I was just I was in as muchsubmerged as kind of much as I
could be.
Like my husband had his arms inand he was like, I I'm right
here, I'm right here.
Like, you're it's you're doinggreat.

(57:44):
Like, I, you know, because I'mlike, Do you I'm all worried?
Like, do you have the babe?
Like, are you gonna, you know,are you gonna get him?
You know, and um, you know, sohe's very clearly ready to
receive.
Because I wasn't like, youknow, in a perfect world, I
guess, like, I mean, I'd alwayswanted him to catch one of our
babies, and it just neverhappened.
And so I was like, this is themoment.
And so then I had like a couplereally like grunty, pushy

(58:08):
contractions, and then it waslike I had one huge one, and he
one fell swoop, his whole bodyjust I just felt him, his whole
self, he just moved rightthrough me.
And like literally all at onetime, like I still like I
remember just feeling like thatwas his whole body, like he just
came out, like it was so fast.

(58:29):
And I remember just being like,get the baby, get the baby, get
the baby, because I was like,Whoa oh my god, you know, and of
course my husband had him.
I looking back at the photos,like I also had him, like who am
I talking to?
I don't know.

Angela (58:42):
So um, but it was just like it happened, like one fell
swoop, he was out, and and it'slike a lot of responsibility,
you know, like there's nobodythere, it's like you.
So that's probably why you saidthat because it's like, you
know, you knew like you were incharge, right?

Alannah (58:56):
Right.
And that like he was all theway out, and like you gotta get
him, you know.
Um, so like we brought him upout of the water right up to my
chest, and like he was perfectand like just so little and
cute, and like, oh my god, I waswe were both just like whoa,
like he's here, oh my god, youknow, it was like I couldn't

(59:20):
believe it.
It had been three hours,literally three hours from my
water breaking to him comingout, and it was crazy, and like
we we did it, like he just cameout and we're home and we're in
the pool, and he's fine, and I'mfine, and like cool, like it
was awesome.
And we just got to like look athim and just I got to just hold

(59:43):
him and I got to like hold himaway from me and like just look
at his little squishy self, andlike it was it was awesome, it
was really awesome.
And for a brief period, andthen I remembered like, oh
right, I have to do that again,okay, and honestly.
I had forgotten that there wasa really good chance that I was

(01:00:03):
gonna have a breach baby.
I literally that 100% exited mymind when I was in labor.
I wasn't thinking about it, Iwasn't worried about it, I
wasn't, there was none ofnothing.
And so like I was holding him,but I was like, and then I
started to get really likefreaked out.
Like I can't hold him and havea bait, but like if I hand him
to you, who's gonna catch theother bit?

(01:00:25):
And like, like, so like I hadhand him to my husband, but then
like I took him back because Iwas like, Well, you have to, you
have to catch her.
Like, I don't like I can't, Idon't uh like it was just like
logistically, we were like, ah,like, or I was my husband was
fine on the outside.
I don't know on the inside.
For all I know, he was like,um, HesoS help.
Um, but he was he was soawesome.

(01:00:47):
He was like calm.
He was like, he was a he was arock, it was really good.
Um and Brie was like, You'reamazing, like you did it.
You know, she's like offeringlittle supportive tidbits, and
I'm just like, yeah.
So so yeah, so then likecontractions picked back up,
like had enough, and I was like,oh yeah, okay, work's not done,

(01:01:08):
okay, like and of course, liketurns out, like when you push a
baby out, like having to push ababy out again, like right after
that really sucks a lot.
So like a lot.
Um, and again, I had forgottenthat there was a chance that she
would be breached until I likepushed a couple of times and I

(01:01:30):
reached down and I felt herfeet.
And I was like, oh, right,okay.
And I was so there.
Like that has never happened tome with any of my other births,
but I was very like, Icommunicated the whole time.
Like to my husband, I was like,I feel her feet, I feel
whatever.
Like I was telling him what Iwas feeling, I was telling him
like what was happening,whatever.
And um, and so like push more,but like the contractions

(01:01:54):
weren't like it wasn't the sameexperience where like the
contractions were happening, andthen like my body was taking
over.
I felt like I had to put moreeffort into pushing, where like
before my body was just doingit.
Um, and so like that was waydifferent and really hard, like
really like painful in like awhole other way because

(01:02:15):
obviously everything just I justdid all that.
That was so much.
And she was literally facingevery wrong direction.
So she was facing, she was, Iguess you would call setting
side up, she was facing up andfeet first.
So, like 100% incorrect.
Like, so and you know, I had Ilearned about all that, I'd gone

(01:02:38):
over all of that during mypregnancy, like okay, like this,
like if that happens, likeliterally that's like the least
ideal situation, and especiallyif her arms were up, extra not
ideal situation.
Guess whose arms were up?
Hers.
So literally everything thatwas like, we don't want that,
all of that happened.
And so I'm like pushing and I'mworking, and like I'm having

(01:03:02):
instead of like it's like thecontractions weren't actively
like kind of, which I know islike a twin thing too, but it's
like they weren't activelycoming, and I wasn't having that
like fetal ejection reflexfeeling.
And so it was like I was havingto consciously push.
And so, like when like more ofher came out, I was like, okay,
like I think like I feel hercord, I think I feel like some

(01:03:24):
of the amniotic sack, like okay,like I was like, I'm like
describing everything, like Iwas so there, which is like
wild.
There was a baby half out of mybody, like, go you, like
self-five.
So I'm like going through allof that, and like I got to a
point where like I pushed andand looking back, like I wasn't
pushing with all my might.
I I was in it, it was painful.

(01:03:46):
It was really uncomfortable todo that after just doing that.
Um, and especially she wasn'tfacing any of the right ways, so
that's already like we're kindof like fighting a little of
that too, and so so I I knowthat I wasn't giving all of what
I had to like get her out.
I was kind of like shying awayfrom it a little bit.

(01:04:07):
And and I got to this point, Iliterally was like, I can't get
her out.
And I was feeling a little bitof stress, and I had felt like
before, like like maybe her feetwere out at that point, and I
had felt like liquid come outwhen I pushed, and it was blood
for sure.
Probably some amniotic flu,too, but it was definitely
blood.
Like I saw it.
Um, and I had like this momentof like wooziness and whatever,

(01:04:28):
but but I like brought it backtogether.
I like was okay, whatever.
Like I knew that, like withtwins, probably gonna lose more
blood.
Okay.
So I'm like talking myself likeinside my head, like talking
through all of this, where I'mlike, nope, it's okay, you're
okay.
Like, blood, that's okay, likethat's fine.
Take a breath, like keep going.
Like it was like this wholelike internal dialogue while

(01:04:50):
also like explaining on theoutside to my husband, like some
of what's going on, too.
And so he just keeps like, Igot her, she's right here, you
know.
And I'm literally like, I'mturning to Brie and I'm like,
watch him, like, because I'mholding a baby while pushing out
a baby.
So I'm like, watch him.
Cause I was so afraid that Iwas gonna dip him down into the

(01:05:10):
water.
I was like, keep your eye onhim, please.
Like, if he's close, like tellme so I can lift him up.
And she was like, I got you,you're good, you know.
And so I'm just making sure,like, help me, like keep an eye
on the whole thing here.
And so, so like I push and I'mlike, you know, is more of her
out.
My husband's like, Do you needme to do something?
Do I need whatever?
And I was like, No, no, no, no.

(01:05:31):
Um, when really, like, ifsomeone had been there, they
would have done something aboutit.
Because that's not a good herarms were up, like it was not
because I remember being like,are her arm?
And he was like, No, I don'tsee her arms.
And I was like, How much of heris out?
And he was like, I think we'rearound her nipple line.
Like he's trying to, you know,but like under the water, it's
bloody, like it's a whole thing.
Um, and so I'm like, Okay, thisis not, this is not what we

(01:05:53):
want.
Okay, but I'm still like, Imean, what are I have to push
her out?
Like, what are we gonna do?
You know, so and I said, like,I can't get her out.
And but of course, I was like,no, like you're gonna have to
get her out.
So, so like pushed more, pushedmore.
And I even at one point waslike, I asked my husband, like,
can you like not like pull onher, but kind of just like put a

(01:06:16):
little tension a little bit?
Because I was like, I don'tknow like how close she is to
being able to like get the restof the way out, you know, and
and he did that, and I was like,nope, don't do that.
And he was like, Okay, youknow, so we were kind of like
trying to work through it and umand finally like gave gave some
some big pushes and she cameout and like came right up to

(01:06:37):
me, and I could tell right awayshe was not like she wasn't like
that pinkish sort of color thatyou know, they pink up, but you
can kind of like they have thatalready a little bit.
She didn't really have that.
Um, and I've seen babies whoare floppy when they're born,
like I wasn't alarmed.
It was just sort of like thisacknowledgement of like, okay,
this is where we're at rightnow.
We might need to like dosomething, and not something

(01:07:00):
that was like emergent, but Iknew that like, okay, like I can
pat her, I can talk to her, Ican like stimulate her.
And I even like put my mouthlike over her mouth and her nose
and like sucked a little bit.
And then I even like kind ofgave a little breath just to
kind of whatever she made anoise.
Um, and like her color kind oftook a little bit of time, but

(01:07:22):
like I just knew that she wasokay.
Like she was moving, she wasn'tactively like crying, but like
I just felt like I just feltthat she was okay, even though
she was looking a little eh.
Um, but she was moving, shemade a noise, she was a little
whatever, and I just kepttalking to her, whatever, like
moving through it, movingthrough it.

(01:07:42):
And she was okay.
And then, you know, and myhusband had gotten into the tub.
So he was holding our boy, andI had our girl.
We were just sitting theretogether, and we were just like,
oh my god, like we both likehad tears, we were smiling, we
were so happy, like it wasamazing.
We were just like, oh my god,like oh my god, like my water

(01:08:07):
just broke like three and a halfhours ago.
Like, how did we get here?
You know, it was pretty crazy.
And then, um, and then youknow, like the placentas needed
to come out, and I didn't knowat that point if they would be
too individual or if they mighthave like fused together.
And I did end up like afterafter a little bit, like I
wasn't actively like feelingthem or anything like that.
And so, like, I kind of likeput a little traction on one of

(01:08:30):
the cords just to like see if itwas like right there or
whatever, and it wasn't.
It's like I waited a minute andI did a little, and there was
movement, and I was like, Oh,okay, cool.
It's like kind of push alittle, you know, because if you
feel so much better when that'sgone.
Um, but because like I didn't,we didn't have a bowl, we didn't
have anything to put it in.
And so I was like, oh, Brie,there's this bowl on the shelf
in our living, and I'm liketelling her what to do.

(01:08:50):
She goes and she gets thisbeautiful wooden bowl that we
got as a wedding gift, and likewe have never used it for
anything.
So first time broke it in witha couple placentas.
She puts it in the water, likeplacentas, they came out.
They actually they weren'tfully fused together, but there
was like membranes sort ofholding them together a little
bit, which is interesting.
Um, and my daughter had areally short cord, it was also

(01:09:12):
looped around like her wholebody in a couple, like my
husband, like while she waspartially out, like unlooped a
couple spots, I think.
Um and her cord was short, likeI could feel so like I didn't
fully have her like all the wayhigh up on my chest.
I had her like lower a littlebit because I could just kind of
feel the tension over my bellyand stuff.
Like, oh, this is probably notgonna go a whole lot farther

(01:09:33):
now.
Um yeah, and we just like wejust stayed in the tub and it
was really nice and awesome.
And we called to have to havethe boys come over once the
placentas were out.
Um, my husband got out of thetub and I was in there.
I was holding both babies forthe first time, and like just

(01:09:54):
like, oh my god.
And um, and they didn't knowthat the babies were born.
The boys didn't know I was inlabor.
Neither did my mother-in-law.
Last she heard my water broke,but nothing was going on.
So we called and we were like,my husband was like, Yeah, you
want to like send the boys over?
Because I had kind of wantedthem to be there for the birth.
I'm glad that they weren'tthough, because it was like

(01:10:14):
rapid fire, it was a lot tohandle, and no one was there to
be able to like, I don't know,like referee them.
So, like, because my husbandwas busy, obviously.
So, so it really worked out, Ithink, just how it was meant to.
And so, you know, he was so mymother-in-law, I think, was
thinking that like birth wasmaybe close and we wanted them,
but no, like they came in andlike I'm in the tub and the and

(01:10:36):
the babies are there, and theywere just like, oh my god, it
was like it was really cool, itwas really cool, and then I was
able to get out and like go intomy own bed and like just all
the things that I had wanted todo, and it worked out, and
honestly feels a little bit likea miracle because like I said,

(01:10:56):
like my daughter was not, shewas not in any of the right
ways, and that actually kind ofwas an emergency.

Angela (01:11:06):
For sure.
If you had been in thehospital, they would have had
you birthing in the OR, and thenonce they realized this baby B
was breached, then you wouldhave gotten immediate T suction.

Alannah (01:11:15):
Yeah, for sure.
And if not, it would have beena quote unquote breach
extraction, which like that termis so disturbing to me.
Like, you don't extract a babyfrom a person's body.
Stop saying that.
Like, you don't need to reachin and pull a baby out by their
legs.
Like, what are you doing?
That freaks me out.
I don't know.
So, so yeah, and honestly, evenif I had had a midwife here who

(01:11:38):
was like trained in breach,multiples, all that, like they
would have done a maneuver too.
They would have probably likekind of pushed her back in just
a little to flip her over.
So she was at least like facingdown instead of up, and then
maybe tried to loop an arm outor something to try to, you
know, but uh, which honestly,like when I was learning about
that during my pregnancy, I waslike, that is the last thing I

(01:12:00):
want.
That sounds so disturbing tome.
Like, I don't want that tohappen.
I just want to birth my babies,like, I don't want any of that.
And then, of course, that'sexactly what happened, except
nobody was there to do that.
So I ended up just likebirthing your baby.
Yeah, we just did it.
And honestly, like she itwasn't like a super fast, like

(01:12:22):
she was all twisted up andfacing all the wrong way,
whatever, and she came outreally quickly and it was fine.
It was like she actually was inthere.
I don't my babies are 16minutes apart, but obviously
that's accounting for time, likenot even pushing, not doing any
of that, just resting beforethings were happening again.
So, so I don't know.
I have a video, so like if Iwent and looked, I could kind of

(01:12:43):
get a better feel for it.
But um, but I mean itdefinitely was would like
talking to Morgan about it aftershe was like, Yeah, that was
kind of an emergency, yeah,because that's a long time, like
with her arms up, facing up,being all whatever, for for her
to kind of be in that position,you know, and and it's really

(01:13:04):
just I think maybe it was justluck of the draw that like she
was able to handle that, like,you know, because I'm sure some
babies like some babies canhandle a shoulder dystocia for
lots of minutes, and otherbabies not so much, you know.
So it's really it's like sosuch an individual thing for
each baby, each each birth, andall of that.
And so that's a little freakyto think about.

(01:13:27):
Um, that you know, we did endup in that situation, but also
like it was okay.
And um, obviously, like sothank like I don't have regret
for our decision, thankfully,which I don't know if something
was different, maybe I would,but I don't.
And so, like, I can't drivemyself crazy doing that, you
know, going through that wholethe whole circular thinking in

(01:13:50):
that way.
So yeah, so I had all thethings I had all I had the the
twins and the breach and the thefootling breach and the sunny
side up footling breaches, it'slike all the things that are
like, oh no.
So, but it was okay, and she'sokay.
Uh, they're both okay, and I'mokay.

(01:14:10):
And it was like the best, itwas it was the best.
It really was.
And then, like, you can't beatthe postpartum care of like a
home birth midwife.
Like, you don't have to leaveyour house, you don't have to
leave your bed, you stay there,and especially with two babies,
like I could not imagine tryingto schlep them around, you know,
at a couple days old andwhatever.
And it was like, I just Itreated my pregnancy like a

(01:14:33):
regular old pregnancy, and Ijust prepared for my birth like
a regular old birth with theknowledge that like there is
gonna be a second birth rightafter the first one.
Um and yeah, and it just it wasokay, everything was okay, and
it was just like it's justreally wild.
It's really wild to think thatlike that's how it all that I

(01:14:56):
did it, that my husband and Idid it, that we we had our
babies at home, and like youjust don't you don't know what's
gonna happen until it'shappening, and it was okay, and
we're all fine, and it wasbeautiful, and yeah, like after
all of that, I ended up gettingthe birth that I wanted, except

(01:15:19):
Morgan wasn't there, but still.

Angela (01:15:22):
Oh, that's amazing.
At least you were able to haveher postpartum, though.
When did you see herpostpartum?
Like, how soon?

Alannah (01:15:29):
Uh, like a day or two.
I forget exactly, but yeah, shecame up um periodically a few
times.
It wasn't even just like theone time.
She slept all the way, all theway from southern Maine to come
see me.
And and she was just like areally cool, like, she's just so
like not an alarmist aboutstuff, which I appreciate about

(01:15:50):
her so much.
So it was just really like, youknow, she came, like, weighed
the babies, checked on them,checked on me, chatted, and then
it was like, okay, and justlike moved on.
And it was like, I was just sograteful that even though I was
pregnant with twins, that I wasnot treated differently.
You know, like I went to thehospital one time for an anatomy

(01:16:16):
scan, and I like literally, solike they see that it's twins.
I didn't tell them I had to, Ijust was like, nope, I'm just
gonna pretend like I don't thinkI know what's going on.
Um, and like I got there and wedid it, whatever.
And they were trying, they likethey wanted to do a cervical
exam.
Like they wanted to walk acrossthe hall and get the doctor and

(01:16:38):
like see about, and I was like,wait, wait, what did you say?
Like I didn't even like prop, Iwas like, what?
And she was like, Yeah, becauselike twins, like da-da-da, and
like something about what Idon't even.

Angela (01:16:49):
I was like, Why would you do a cervical exam at 20
weeks, regardless in twins or notwins?
Like that makes sense.

Alannah (01:16:55):
Thank you.
I was like, Yeah, no, my cervixhas done great every other
pregnancy, so I'm all set.
Thank you.
Um, no, like your cervix andjust be like, it's a good
cervix, like what?
I'm like, rest assured, guys,like it's done its job.
Thank you.
Like, I like what on I wasliterally like, go figure my one
time in a hospital, and they'realready trying to like get into

(01:17:17):
my like body, like go away.
And and then like at the end ofit, they're like, Yeah, so like
we're gonna probably bescheduling you for like you
know, regular like growth scans,blah blah blah.
And I was like, Oh, yeah, andI'm probably not gonna, no, I'm
not doing that.
So they probably were like,What on earth?

(01:17:38):
Why are you even here?
You know, because I'm like,Yeah, you're not doing that, and
I'm definitely not doing that,and you're never gonna see me
again.
Bye.
Because it just re- it justlike solidified my decision to
stay the hell away.
If I'm like, I am fine, mybabies are fine, everything is
fine, there's nothing to worryabout.
I'm only 20 weeks, like,there's no cause for alarm, and

(01:18:00):
you're well, you want to likecheck my cervix?
Like, no, absolutely not.
I didn't have one singlecervical exam during my
pregnancy.
Thank you very much, you guys.
Like, no thanks to you.
So, yeah, it was very, verylike no, no intervention at all

(01:18:22):
because I stayed away.
I was not about to let myselfbe labeled high risk.
I was not about to be likepushed into giving birth in an
OR or like having like thingsplaced just in case I need an
epidural or this or that.
Like, I was just like, nope,like I don't want to do any of
that.
No way.

(01:18:43):
And thank God.
Thank God for all of it,honestly.
Like even though we had thehiccups there a little bit, like
it was okay.
And so I'm just gonna take thatand like that's good, it's
good.
We made the right decision forour family and it's fine.
So yeah, so that was that.

Angela (01:19:05):
Oh my goodness, wow.
I okay, so I just have a couplequestions.
Yeah.
So when did you end up cuttingthe cords?
Like, how long did that um soyou had the placenta out and
they were still both attached,both attached to it, right?
Is that yep, yeah.

Alannah (01:19:21):
So we were in the water still, they were both still
attached.
The placentas were in the bowl,and we didn't cut them until
they were over an hour old.
I got up out of the tub, whichwas excruciating.
I I was shocked.
It was like in the back of myribs, like my back was like, oh
my, I like hobbled to the bed asfast as I could because not

(01:19:43):
because I felt like I could likeactively get there and it felt
fine, but because I was like, italmost was like the wind was
knocked out of my back.
Like, I don't know, it was itwas super unexpected, but I was
like, I gotta get to the bedright now.
Like hobbled to the bed, putlike placentable, right, right
by.
Behind me, um, like the bait,like we all just got into the

(01:20:04):
bed, and it was uh it was awhile, well over an hour.
The cords were well limp, wellwiped, definitely it yeah.
So, and like the boys werethere, like my mother-in-law, my
father-in-law were there, likeit was like we're all on or near
the bed, and my husband cutthem just like he has every

(01:20:26):
other time, and yeah, and it wasreally nice.
We didn't nothing was rushed,it was really good.

Angela (01:20:33):
Just had that peaceful time, love it.
Yeah, so now looking at thephotos, which are incredible.
There's a lot of blood.
There's a lot of blood in thepool when you're like looking at
it and you're like, oh geez,that's a lot of blood.
Like a lot of blood.
What were what were yourthoughts?
How was your postpartum likeblood loss after that?

Alannah (01:20:55):
Um, well, so I knew like with twins, there's like a
high likelihood of like moreblood loss, probably.
And like I said, like I hadthat moment like where I pushed
and it was blood, and I waslike, don't panic.
It's okay.
Like you're okay, it's fine,you know.
Um, and I felt kind of likewoozy with that, but like
rallied and it was okay.

(01:21:15):
Um and then definitely, likewhen I stood up and like kind of
got back in bed, I could tell.
Like I could, I could tell.
Like it was a lot.
It wasn't so much that it waslike unsafe for me personally.
That could have been differentfor someone else.
But for me, like I was okay.
I definitely like looking atmyself in the mirror, I could
see my hands, like I lookedreally pale.

(01:21:36):
So I definitely likeimmediately was like taking all
the iron, like the it was uhlike grass-fed beef liver
supplements.
I was like popping those likecrazy, um, and just trying to
eat, stay hydrated, and justrest.
Like I felt it was like justlike initially I could feel

(01:21:57):
that.
Um, but then it was most justlooking at myself.
I was like, oh, you don't lookso good.
But I felt okay.
So it was definitely a lot.
And I and I I recognized thatin the pool.
I was like, this is very red.
But also water, I don't know.
I feel like when like bloodmixes with water, it also it can
look a lot worse than it reallyactually is.

(01:22:19):
So I wasn't like freaked outabout it, other than that, like
initial, like, whoa, a lot ofblood just came out of me.
But then after that, it was itwas okay.

Angela (01:22:29):
So yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's definitely can be moreblood loss with twins.
And like you said, it's soindividualized, like that amount
that somebody else lost mighthave made them feel like really
bad, but like you felt okay, andlike that's what's most
important.
Like, are you like interactingwith your baby still?
Are you like, you know, withit?
And yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alannah (01:22:48):
And like uh Cam and Brie, like right away, like they
got me like a granola bar, likea cheese.
Like they're like, even theremight even be a picture of like
one of my boys like holding likea cheese stick in front of my
face so I can like bite it.
Like, people are just trying tolike offer me bits of like
electrolytes, water, likeprotein drink, cheese stick,

(01:23:08):
like little bits of things tolike just try to just get little
bits into me.
And then it was really not longafter that.
Like I had stuff in thefreezer, and like my
mother-in-law, um, we had herheat up some soup.
So I had, and it was like sogood because like my whole
pregnancy, like I was justmiserable.
Food was gross, threw up lotsof times, all that, but it was

(01:23:29):
like the best soup to finally belike, Yes, uh, I feel better
now.
Soup.
So that was really nice to justlike be sitting in my bed, my
bowl of soup, my babies, like myfamily's there.
It was just it was good.
Yeah, it was really good.

Angela (01:23:45):
Yeah, nothing better than a nice warm bowl of
postpartum soup.

Alannah (01:23:49):
Truly, truly.
So, yeah, so it was is it'swild.
It is wild to like think backto all of that and just be like,
oh, okay, we did that.
And now I'm like, I can nevermove from this house because my
babies were born in this house.
I have too much sentimentalattachment.

Angela (01:24:07):
You're there forever.
Literally, though.
Yeah, awesome.
Oh my gosh.
So how has breastfeeding beengoing?

Alannah (01:24:15):
Oh my goodness.
It is seven full-time jobs allall at once.
It's a lot.
Um, my son, he really like helatched on.
Like, there's pictures of him.
Like, I don't even think I hadgotten, I hadn't even given
birth to to baby two yet.
And he's like mouth wide open,like, mom.

(01:24:36):
I'm like, bro, I can't do thisright now.
Like, I got stuff to do.
He's and he's still like that.
So he latched on great, super,like, no pain.
I was so glad.
It was really like prettysmooth with him.
Um, my daughter, not so much.
She was also a smaller twin.
And so she was just like, shewas six and a half pounds.

(01:24:57):
Like all of my like my threeolder boys were all like eight
and a half plus pounds.
So she was like, this tinylittle nugget.
And so she had like the tiniestlittle mouth.
And it was just a lot.
It was, it was painful for Idon't know, maybe a week or so
with her.
And but then, like, kind ofjust like it's like she like
grew into her ability to like, Idon't know, like her mouth got

(01:25:20):
bigger, she could just manage itbetter.
I don't know.
And then I mean, likelogistically tricky because I
mean, like, newborns are likelittle limp noodles, so they're
just like oh floppy everywhere,and like milk and then whatever,
and like trying to like they'relearning to eat and like I'm
learning to feed them, eventhough I had breastfed before,
like every baby's different andevery journey is different, and

(01:25:42):
so there was stress, there wasstress.
Um, but we we've like just beentrucking, still breastfeeding
them.
They only in the last like weekhave they ever had a bottle,
and only like I think like justa couple, really, and it didn't
even go well at first.
And I was like, Okay, but it'sreally only because like the I'm

(01:26:05):
up, like we're up like 10 timesa night, still like literally.
And so like waking up atdifferent times, yeah, waking up
at different times, but alsosometimes the same time, and
then like I don't always fallback asleep right away, or then
like one of them is like havinga hard time going back to sleep,
and like what and it's it's alot.
It like nighttime is reallyhard, it's really hard, um,

(01:26:29):
still at approaching ninemonths.
So we are still in the trencheswith that, but yeah, so like
we've just like given a bottleto to one of them like just a
couple of times, just to likemaybe hopefully give me like the
slightest little bit of abreak, eat like you know, but
but yeah, I'm I'm exclusivelybreastfeeding them, so I can

(01:26:52):
with them all the time.
Um, they're probably starvingright now because you know, this
is like they go.
I I mean, I'm probablybreastfeeding them like easily,
like 20 times each, likethroughout the course of like
the day.
Like it's a lot, but it's goingwell.

(01:27:13):
I mean, like they latch great.
Like I had I did have mastitisonce, but other than that, like
it's been pretty smooth once wegot over like those couple of
humps, and I'm so grateful forthat.
So it's a lot of work.
I'm exhausted, I'm touched out,and it's it's just like it can
be really overwhelming, but Ialso feel really grateful, like

(01:27:34):
super grateful and really proud.
So yeah.

Angela (01:27:39):
Wow.
Oh my gosh.
Well, that photo that Brie tookof you, tandem nursing that
just got published in a book,like beautiful.

Alannah (01:27:49):
Thank you.
There's a few, like she came aweek postpartum, she got some
pictures of us, and like, yeah,it's so wild to look back at
that and be like, you guys wereso tiny, and like, yeah, it's
it's crazy.
And like to think that that'sin a book is like so cool.
I'm like, cool for Brie, likeher photo is in a book, and her

(01:28:10):
name is in a book, and like Ihave a copy of it.
They sent me a copy, which islike extra special.
So, like, and it's all inSwedish, so I have no idea what
any of it says, but there's apicture of me and my babies in
it, which is really cool.
So yeah, it's really special.
Yeah, I don't tandem nurse themas much anymore because like

(01:28:31):
they're bigger and like pokeeach other's eyes and pull each
other's hair, and you know, allthat, and it's just a little
bit, a little bit more awkward.
So it's usually individualthese days, but but yeah, it's a
lot, but it's it's really cool,yeah.
And they're cool and they'recute.

Angela (01:28:49):
So now you're a girl mom.
Like after all of these boys,you're the baby was a girl.

Alannah (01:28:57):
I know I I could, I was like convinced, like, oh,
twins?
Okay, well, they're both boys,obviously, you know, like
there's no way.
And then at the anatomy scan,we found out, like, okay, baby A
is a boy.
Like, I could see, like, I'veseen that lots of times.
Like, I know that that's a boy.
And then we get to girl, and Iwas like, oh, like, wait, I

(01:29:18):
think what I normally see is notthere the same way, you know.
And then I was like, wait, isthat a girl?
And they were like, Yeah, andwe were both like, oh my god,
like, of course, baby B, theyoungest, is gonna be the girl,
you know.
So, yes, Ruby Joy, she's alittle, she's a little
troublemaker, sweetie, adorable,melts everybody.

(01:29:41):
So, yeah, it's pretty wild.
I still like saying daughter tome still sounds super, super
unfamiliar.
It's funny, but yeah, it'sreally cool.
I feel very, very lucky.
Four boys and a girl.
I never would have thought.

Angela (01:29:57):
That's awesome.
So now, as a final question, ifyou were to give advice to
someone who's expecting or evennew parents, what's one of the
biggest things that you'd wantto share at this point in your
journey?

Alannah (01:30:11):
Oh, like everything.
Um, I mean, like go in, goinward and and really question
question the norm, really.
Like kind of like go in andlike what why do we do that?

(01:30:32):
Why do they do that?
Like what like what what is theroot of all of this?
And like really like becauselike we have an intuition, like
we have that, and it's soimportant to listen to it, you
know?
Like if you have doubt, if youhave whatever, like question
that, like look into that, feelthat.

(01:30:54):
And I mean, really justremember that like you get one
shot to birth that baby, andit's gonna stick with you
whether you like it or not, forthe rest of your life and for
the rest of your baby's life.
And that is that is theirentrance into the world from
outside of your body, like thoseare their first moments.

(01:31:16):
And so to really think on that,you know, like what is what is
that gonna look like for you?
And and especially twins, likebig time, especially with twins.
Like, I think for that, I Idefinitely want to say, like, it
doesn't have to be anemergency.
It just it doesn't, and and I Ispeak as a die die twin mom.

(01:31:39):
Like I know that not all twinsare the same, so but just as a
die die twin mom, I would saylike it doesn't have to be an
emergency.
Not everything is a is aproblem, and there's not a
problem until there's a problem,and there might not be one.
So, you know, yeah, just kindof don't operate under the
assumption that something'sgonna go wrong.

(01:32:01):
Yeah.
So I'm like, that's not onething.
Sorry, that's a few things.

Angela (01:32:05):
No, no, that's perfect.
And you know, it's nice tothink, you know, what would
happen if everything wentperfectly instead of, oh no, all
of these things could happen,you know, like to have that on
both sides of it, you know.

Alannah (01:32:15):
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I really shut it allout.
Like, I didn't, I I mean, likeI'm in this die dye twin mom
group right now, and I thoughtabout leaving it a hundred times
and then I never do.
And I'm so glad that I wasn'tin it when I was pregnant
because it's just medicalizedand this, and I have to do this.
My doctor says I have to dothat.
Like my doctor's gonna do abreach extraction, like they're

(01:32:36):
willing to do that, and blah,and just like all of this stuff
that I'm like, oh my God, itdoesn't have to be like that.
Like, I get sometimes likethings don't go smoothly, and
things are, you know, likesomething's like going on with
the babies or something's goingon with you.
Like, I know that that's thatcan happen, of course.
That doesn't mean that it'sgoing to happen.
That doesn't mean that that isthe norm.

(01:32:58):
That's just what we see andwhat we hear.
So to just yeah, question allof that for sure.
Yes, ask all the questions.
Yes, yes.

Angela (01:33:10):
So before we wrap up, would you just share one more
time like how people can get ahold of you?
Like maybe your website.

Alannah (01:33:17):
Yeah.
So again, I'm Alana Finn.
That's my name.
Um, I operate birthbodyphotography.
That's me.
So if you ever see my stuff,um, that's that's like how you
can find me on Instagram and onFacebook.
Um, and then my website isbirthbodyphotography.com.
I am not right now.

(01:33:39):
Like if if someone were to callme next week to book a birth,
like for right now, I wouldprobably say I've had to turn
away births, and it's literallythe saddest, the saddest.
I hate it.
Makes me so upset.
I have FOMO.
I want to be at all of them.
But I'm hoping that kind oflike once the babies are over
one, that I'll be able to kindof.

(01:34:00):
I just imagine that like oncethey're a year old, that I might
be able to like come up for aira little bit and be able to
kind of function again, sort of.
Um, so I'm not actively bookingbirths unless they're kind of
like way of future births.
Uh, but I am definitely likewilling to talk about like
pregnancy sessions and likepostpartum sessions and that

(01:34:21):
sort of thing.
So so yeah, but I love ifpeople follow along, anyways on
Facebook and Instagram.
I'm not as active on there as Iused to be because I'm
literally just breastfeeding allday, every day.

Angela (01:34:35):
So well, I'm sure you'll be back one day for sure.

Alannah (01:34:39):
I will, I will, and thank you for being there in the
meantime.

Angela (01:34:43):
Yes, of course.
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much, Alana,for taking all of the time
today to chat with me and shareyour amazing stories.

Alannah (01:34:52):
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you for taking the time.
I just talked your ear off.
I appreciate you listening andand for just yeah, holding space
for for all of them.
Because I know that five birthsall in this time was a lot to
hear about.
So so thank you.
I seriously really appreciateit a lot.
Thank you.

Angela (01:35:10):
Before you go, I just want to remind you, I have a ton
of resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby, I wantyou to check out the show notes
because I have some freetrainings and free downloads
that you can sign up for, aswell as the link to access my
labor of love, a comprehensive,self-paced online childbirth

(01:35:33):
education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where your
birthday or who your birthdayis.
And I'd honestly love to teachyou everything that I know so
that you can prepare for anautonomous birth experience and
prepare to step into your roleas the leader of your birth
journey.

(01:35:54):
So click those show notes,check out all of those links,
and if you ever have anyquestions, feel free to DM me at
my main birth over onInstagram.

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142. MyMaine Birth: How We Birth Matters - Part Two - Alannah's Twin Freebirth Story

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}142. MyMaine Birth: How We Birth Matters - Part Two - Alannah's Twin Freebirth Story