The Passive-aggressive Tree House | Brokenwood | "The Witches of Brokenwood" | Mystery Maniacs Podcast EP238 - Mystery Maniacs

Episode Transcript
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Mark (00:01):
Who can eat a pizza?

Sarah (00:17):
Hey, maniacs.

Mark (00:18):
Hey, mystery maniacs. Mystery maniacs is a comedy
recap podcast dedicated tomystery TV. Each week, we dig
into an episode of the showincluding the murders, the
mayhem, the loonies andeverything else we love.

Sarah (00:32):
This week, Broken Woods season seven episode two.

Mark (00:35):
The Witches of Broken Woods which is the least witchy
episode ever. So disappointing.Disappointing the lack of
witchiness.

Sarah (00:45):
There's no witches. There's no witchiness.

Mark (00:48):
Nope. And it's certainly no witches of

Sarah (00:51):
The closest thing in this episode is Silver Cloud.

Mark (00:55):
Yes.

Sarah (00:55):
To a witch. And he's not.

Mark (00:58):
And in the end, in in the end, Silver Cloud tells the
truth and is nice to people.Yeah. And yet we think that he's
horrible.

Sarah (01:08):
Oh, he's cheating on his

Mark (01:22):
Oh,

Sarah (01:10):
girlfriend. Yeah. That's usually She's the best vegan
chef in New Zealand. Apparently.This is our tenth episode in
four weeks.
Yes. For cranking.

Mark (01:19):
We're we're a little slap happy. We've had five minis and
four full episodes.

Sarah (01:26):
If you're not listening to the minis before you watch
season eleven, you're missingout.

Mark (01:30):
There's all sorts of weird connections between eleven and
seven.

Sarah (01:35):
Yeah. There are.

Mark (01:35):
Like sudden chompers.

Sarah (01:37):
Yeah. You forget that he just shows up at the end of the
episode.

Mark (01:42):
We mentioned it at least.

Sarah (01:44):
We are gonna spoil things. This is a spoiler
podcast. Yes. The minis arespoiler free. This is not.
This is not. Just saying.

Mark (01:51):
We did mention in several episodes previous to this that
we met Roxy. We do not meetRoxy. No. I was completely
wrong.

Sarah (01:59):
You never see her.

Mark (02:00):
And that I thought there was a big build up to to Breen's
last show like there were two orthree No.

Sarah (02:08):
He's just gone.

Mark (02:09):
He's just gone.

Sarah (02:10):
No. Now he can't Roxy is a video game playing pole
dancing jujitsu karate masterwho teaches scuba diving. She
sounds quite interestingactually.

Mark (02:21):
She does indeed sound interesting.

Sarah (02:24):
She's James Bond.

Mark (02:25):
And Breen gets a better send off than say Scott in
Midsummer.

Sarah (02:31):
Right. But wow. He's just gone. That's it. Don't I don't
know.

Mark (02:36):
We'll get to it, but Chalmers must have been doing
undercover work when he getsthere.

Sarah (02:41):
Alright. So this episode takes place at Brokenwood Health
Retreat. Yes. Otherwise known asthe prison you pay to pay to
stay at.

Mark (02:50):
Yeah. I don't understand it. The 04/05/2021 is when it
was released. Addie Walkererected it, and Sarah Kate Lynch
wrote it and with Timbalm,

Sarah (03:03):
of course. Are men allowed at this retreat? I

Mark (03:06):
don't know.

Sarah (03:07):
Like the only men that are there are either visiting or
Silver Cloud? Like, do you thinkthey ever take male clients?

Mark (03:14):
I don't know and I'm kind of okay with that because it's
supposed to be a healing place.I completely understand that.
But the presence of the golf promust have been upsetting. I
thought more people would getupset.

Sarah (03:27):
Maybe they like alternate like if you want a book and
you're a man, you book on duringa man's week.

Mark (03:35):
Yes.

Sarah (03:35):
And this is just a woman's week. But it it seems
like some of these women livethere. They're there way too
often. I don't know how they canafford

Mark (03:44):
it. So these two young women are going to the sauna and
us who have had experience withthese kind of cozy murders

Sarah (03:54):
know They're about to find a body.

Mark (03:56):
They're gonna find a body.

Sarah (03:57):
I love that they say it smells like dumplings. Yes. But
it's just a steamed body. Yes.People taste like pork I guess.
Maybe they smell like steamedpork dumplings. So I really like
those two.

Mark (04:14):
I think we yes. I do too. I hope we see more of them. I'm
not sure if we do. We also Ithink we've told the sauna
Finland story before.

Sarah (04:24):
Sauna and steam rooms are different.

Mark (04:26):
Yeah.

Sarah (04:27):
I don't like either one of them for the record. So But
all I thought when Sims talksabout the towel that you're
supposed to be sitting on andJoy, the body, is not sitting on
her towel.

Mark (04:39):
It's a laudalina right there.

Sarah (04:41):
Is the Finnish word for the butt towel for the sauna. A
laurelina.

Mark (04:47):
If you haven't got to the episode That's

Sarah (04:48):
the only Finnish word I picked up. Told you.

Mark (04:51):
We went to Finland to do some academic talks. It was a
weird time. And we arrived, I'mstill amazed that we arrived at
like midnight in this northernFinnish town to meet these
people who we had never metreally before.

Sarah (05:09):
But we were gonna stay with them.

Mark (05:11):
We were gonna stay with them and our luggage did not
arrive.

Sarah (05:15):
Our luggage was in Cleveland, Ohio, I think.

Mark (05:18):
So we had been in the same clothes for twenty four hours

Sarah (05:21):
at least. Loose. I think like thirty six. We were crusty.
It was bad.

Mark (05:26):
Yeah. And and they were like, well, you have to sauna.

Sarah (05:31):
Oh. Okay. Okay. They were nice.

Mark (05:34):
They were extremely nice, but it was not I did not smell
the best. I know.

Sarah (05:39):
We we went, we had to buy all of our replacement clothing
in a department store that wasbasically from like the Soviet
era. It was a really bizarredepartment store.

Mark (05:48):
There will be more Soviet stories later on, by the way.

Sarah (05:53):
Okay. So the ladies are all

Mark (05:55):
So in a weird situation here, everyone arrives in the
same car. That's a very weirdthing for this

Sarah (06:02):
show. It's rare Yeah. For this show.

Mark (06:04):
Breen is in the back seat like a little kid. Yes. He might
as well ask if are we there yet?

Sarah (06:12):
Yeah. So so Joy is dead

Mark (06:15):
Yes.

Sarah (06:15):
In the sauna. Sorry. In the steam room. The difference
is one is dry and one is wet.Mhmm.
And Fleur, the owner,immediately gets on my nerves.

Mark (06:25):
Yes.

Sarah (06:26):
She is Like, I understand being a business owner and
having to protect your business,but a little sympathy when what
you're supposed to be doing islike healing people's emotional
side as well as their physicalside wouldn't go awry I think.

Mark (06:40):
And the retreat has a little bit of plot armor in that
it's simultaneously giving awayfree nights and just about to go
under. Yeah. There very rarelyare situations in any of these
cozy shows where it's like, no,my business is pretty
successful. It's not wildlysuccessful, but it's pretty
successful and

Sarah (06:59):
I'm doing It's stable and I have a comfortable living.

Mark (07:02):
Yes. There's very rarely business

Sarah (07:04):
Without owing money to anybody unduly or anything like
that. It's just a good businessexcept Frodo. He seems to be
doing okay. It also has a littlebit of plot armor in that it is
like a prison. You can't leaveand there's cameras everywhere
and yet people go in and out allthe time.

Mark (07:20):
Yeah, it's like an Like that's a Christy Pilot.

Sarah (07:23):
It's like the fence is man permeable. Yes. But not
woman permeable. I because Frodogets in.

Mark (07:30):
Frodo gets in.

Sarah (07:31):
Gren gets in. Yep. You know, but nobody's getting out.
Does Mike

Mark (07:36):
know what a steam room is? He kinda is like, what is this?

Sarah (07:41):
Yeah. I don't know what that the purpose of that is. Why
he pretends he doesn't know whatit is.

Mark (07:45):
I think the purpose is to give him something talk about
while he's in that room.

Sarah (07:50):
I guess.

Mark (07:51):
With exposition scenes like that, sometimes you get a
lot of people and there are alot of people there. Yeah. So we
need Mike to talk aboutsomething. So let's have Mike
talk about not knowing what itis.

Sarah (08:03):
Meanwhile, Roxy is off teaching scuba diving. Yes. And
Brain begins his, did you seethe paperwork?

Mark (08:11):
Oh by the way I'm leaving.

Sarah (08:12):
But we don't know what it is yet. Yes. Would you assuming
that that this place welcomedmen

Mark (08:19):
Yes. And

Sarah (08:19):
and it was a gift certificate or something, you
didn't have to worry about men,would would you like to go to a
place like this?

Mark (08:25):
So have you ever been to anything like this? No. The
closest thing I've been to thatwas like this was, I don't know
if I've told you about thisnightmare that an ex girlfriend
and I went on to the North OfCanada in the middle of winter
to like a winter retreat thing.Was it to

Sarah (08:47):
see the northern lights or something or go skiing or

Mark (08:50):
There were lots of activities but she was
interested in none of them.

Sarah (08:55):
Oh.

Mark (08:57):
And then we drove home in probably the worst snowstorm
I've driven in in years.

Sarah (09:02):
It doesn't sound like fun.

Mark (09:04):
Was not fun.

Sarah (09:05):
No. I mean, I've gone to a spa for like a massage, but
Mhmm. I didn't didn't reallylike it.

Mark (09:12):
You it's not your kind of place.

Sarah (09:15):
No. No. The idea of meditating just no.

Mark (09:20):
I'd much prefer and I think you're the same way, but
you don't work like me. I wouldlove to go to a place with a
cottage where I could spend aweek working on things I wanted
to work on.

Sarah (09:32):
Yeah. And go and swimming in

Mark (09:34):
a lake or something. Swimming on a lake, having a
campfire at night, and cookingon the campfire, cooking on a
grill or something like that,that would be a perfectly I

Sarah (09:44):
don't even like naps. Yeah. And the idea of a pedicure
gives me the heebie jeebies. I'mglad other people are into those
things.

Mark (09:55):
Sarah has some problems relaxing.

Sarah (09:56):
I'm not good at it. And it's not a skill I'm eager to
improve, I guess.

Mark (10:02):
I would say that you relax differently.

Sarah (10:04):
Yeah. By doing shit.

Mark (10:06):
By doing shit. And I'm I'm the same way. Like, it's very
hard for me to

Sarah (10:11):
Says the man who falls asleep on the couch almost every
day at 04:00.

Mark (10:15):
Well, there is that.

Sarah (10:16):
Yeah.

Mark (10:17):
And I was about to say, I just don't read a book or don't
just listen to music, but I doboth of

Sarah (10:23):
those things. The time. Yeah.

Mark (10:26):
Like I'll sit out, I'll have a fire in the evening and
outside of course, and just sitand listen to music. And I'm
quite happy doing that.

Sarah (10:35):
Yep. And I don't want to sit out there unless I got a
marshmallow on a stick. No. Justsit there? Just sit?
Just sit. Still. Just sit. Onlyif you strap me down. This is
the most passive aggressive treehouse I've ever seen.

Mark (10:51):
I love the passive aggressive tree house. Must you?
First of all, it is not a treehouse. Okay. A tree house, I
would say, requires at leastspace for more than one person.

Sarah (11:07):
I think two people could sit up there.

Mark (11:09):
No. It would be tough.

Sarah (11:10):
When Mike's sitting up there, he seems to have some
space.

Mark (11:13):
Second of all.

Sarah (11:14):
Must you?

Mark (11:15):
Must you.

Sarah (11:16):
That sign is awful. Never mind that it hits everybody on
the head too. I think that'skind of on purpose. Sims goes up
there because it's the onlyplace you can get cell signal.
She calls Gina.
Gina answers, I'm feeling verydisturbed by you. Well, hi Gina,
how are

Mark (11:33):
you? This season, season seven, and season eleven that
we're covering in the minis,Gina and Sims' relationship is
very similar.

Sarah (11:43):
And it's all Gina.

Mark (11:44):
And Gina is just snark, mixed dark shit.

Sarah (11:47):
She doesn't want to tell Sims anything. Yeah. She
criticizes her all the time. Shecorrects her all the time. But I
don't think Sims doesn't seemcompetitive with Gina.

Mark (11:58):
But what

Sarah (11:58):
There seems to be One Direction.

Mark (12:00):
What I love about the passive aggressive Treehouse,
which is of course the name ofthe episode

Sarah (12:06):
Yes. Is

Mark (12:07):
that it is so obviously the writer or Tim Baum or
someone in the writing room hasbeen to one of these things.

Sarah (12:14):
Yeah.

Mark (12:15):
And did not get cell service the way they wanted to,
so had to do some weird stuff toget cell service.

Sarah (12:21):
Yeah. Like like climb a big

Mark (12:23):
mountain top of I would imagine Tim Baum's phone rings
on a regular basis.

Sarah (12:27):
Mhmm.

Mark (12:27):
So what they do, which is good writing, is they move it
into the extreme but not theabsurd. Right. So it's plausible
you could go, Yeah, I could seethat.

Sarah (12:39):
Never

Mark (12:40):
mind the technology and all that stuff doesn't work like
that. We're going to skip overthat. But then just pushes it
into comedy just that tinylittle bit with the must do
sign.

Sarah (12:54):
Well and the size of the tree house as you mentioned,
it's so small. I think that's onpurpose. Like they don't want it
to be a comfortable place. Theydon't want you to go up there
and hang out and play AngryBirds. No.
It's it's the last resort if youabsolutely have to make an
emergency call. Though they musthave landlines. They run a
business.

Mark (13:14):
They must have landlines.

Sarah (13:16):
So if you had an emergency call to make.

Mark (13:18):
Yeah. Second of all, there's a mower parked behind
the the Treehouse? Treehouse.But no maintenance guy. No.
And it's kind of implied thatshe hasn't got a maintenance
guy, that she's doing it allherself. But again, she's the
like, send out Silver snot orwhatever his name is. Like, have

(13:41):
him go fix the freaking ladder.No. No.
I'm running the apothecary.Okay. Apothecary dispenses
drugs.

Sarah (13:49):
He's doing four hour tribal awakenings. Yes. That
takes up a lot of your day.

Mark (13:54):
They have a special name for natural medicine that works.
It's called

Sarah (13:59):
Medicine. Medicine. Then Mike's in the car on his own and
he's listening to music,obviously, he always does. And
we get some yodeling music. Yes.
Now, you know far more aboutmusic than I do. Yes. I know
that yodeling is originally analpine Yes. Thing. It's a
communication method across vastdistances, yodeling carries.

Mark (14:21):
Was then co opted by the country music scene of The
United States.

Sarah (14:25):
How did that happen?

Mark (14:27):
I'm not sure, but it certainly hit its peak with a
young gentleman named SlimWhitman.

Sarah (14:34):
I thought it was Lawrence Welk.

Mark (14:35):
No. It was probably Slim Whitman.

Sarah (14:38):
But how does that happen?

Mark (14:40):
I don't know but

Sarah (14:41):
he definitely I mean there's folk music in other
areas of the world that have notbeen co opted into country
western music.

Mark (14:47):
I would disagree wholeheartedly. Country music is
a very derivative form. Like theuse of the banjo is all stolen
from African music.

Sarah (15:00):
Okay.

Mark (15:00):
So and But see, but there

Sarah (15:02):
I can say, well, there were enslaved people
unfortunately who may havebrought that music with them or
immigrants who brought thatmusic with them and so it got
melded. But I don't know of anySwedish

Mark (15:16):
You're not aware of the Swiss

Sarah (15:18):
The great enslavement? The great Swiss migration of the
nineteen thirties? No, I'm not.

Mark (15:25):
And it was it was men and women in the thirties, that sort
of blue grassy country thirties,forties music.

Sarah (15:34):
Maybe yodeling carries Into

Mark (15:36):
the little fifties.

Sarah (15:37):
Carries across the holler just as well as it carries
across the mountains.

Mark (15:40):
But it was certainly a thing and they're like Slim
Whitman is famous for yodeling.

Sarah (15:46):
He's he's really, you know, Sven Whitman. You just
didn't know.

Mark (15:52):
Now I've heard Dolly Parton yodel too so

Sarah (15:54):
I know.

Mark (15:55):
It's it's definitely

Sarah (15:56):
I don't I'm not questioning that. I just don't
know where they got Yeah. Howthey got it. Anyway, we're back
at the golf club. That craptacular murderous place.

Mark (16:05):
Yes. But we have a whole new round of golf players.

Sarah (16:09):
Yeah. All new jerks. Did you notice the sign when Mike is
driving in?

Mark (16:13):
No. But I did notice you took a picture of it. What what

Sarah (16:16):
The name of the golf club is just blacked out.

Mark (16:20):
Oh, it's just got like tape over it?

Sarah (16:22):
Yeah. It's just blacked out. Yeah. They could've done
better than that.

Mark (16:28):
It's only on the sign it's only in the shot for very, like,
short amount of time.

Sarah (16:33):
But the newspaper was only on the screen for a very
short amount of time.

Mark (16:38):
We agree and we'll get to something later. The greatest
sign of this episode

Sarah (16:43):
Factfalexander was only on the screen for a short amount
of time.

Mark (16:47):
But maybe, I'm gonna suggest that maybe some of the
set design was phoned in alittle bit from

Sarah (16:54):
the So they could have at least used white tape on the
white sign.

Mark (16:57):
You would think but

Sarah (16:58):
Not black tape

Mark (16:59):
on the white sign. Just blacked out.

Sarah (17:02):
What kind of name is Gren?

Mark (17:03):
I do not

Sarah (17:04):
know. Is it short for Grendel? Gren McNair.

Mark (17:09):
My mother is a monster. Greenwich?

Sarah (17:12):
I don't I was trying to think what Gren could be short
for.

Mark (17:15):
Do not know. Oh by the way, we were divorcing. Okay.
What?

Sarah (17:20):
Well, and he does my second least favorite thing that
a potential suspect does. My myfirst least favorite thing is
when they run. Like, that's justdumb. Yes. What are you gonna
do?
Run for the rest of your life?Yes. No. The second least
favorite thing I like that asuspect does is when they say,
I'm looking for Bob Smith. Andthey go, who's asking?

(17:41):
And it's always that person whosays, who's asking? Like if they
say, the cops, they go, we don'tknow him. Like, okay. That's not
gonna stop it. It's dumb.

Mark (17:51):
I totally often think, what if we found a body and
somebody came to our door to askus questions? How we would
interact with these people andit's nothing like any of these
people do. No. We would beincredibly helpful.

Sarah (18:06):
And If the police came

Mark (18:08):
to the writing down. Yeah. Can we have your notebook?

Sarah (18:13):
Would be obnoxious at the other end. Yes. It's like when
Mo and I thought the lady downthe street was in trouble, we
didn't want to leave because wewanted to find out what
happened. And they're like, youcan go now. We're like, are you
are you sure you don't need No.
We do not need you.

Mark (18:28):
We do not need you. In the steam room there are bushes for
whacking.

Sarah (18:33):
Gina's special.

Mark (18:33):
They just leave that alone and it smells like boiled
kartoshka. Do you know what thatis? Cabbage? Potatoes.

Sarah (18:42):
Oh the poor woman was a big boil in a bag. Yeah. Gina
doesn't hold back. She calls hera crock pot later. This poor
woman died.
And Joy's sisters, they'resupposed to be the witches of
Brokenwood, right? Yeah. Sothat's what Gren calls them
because he hates them. And Ijust, I remember the first time

(19:03):
we saw this, I was thinking, oh,are they witchy? Like are they
evil?

Mark (19:09):
The title implies Witches of Eastwick, which is an
eighties movie based on a bookin which Cher Susan Sarandon.

Sarah (19:19):
Susan Sarandon and Michelle Pfeiffer. And Jack
Nicholson.

Mark (19:23):
Are seduced by Jack Nicholson Who's the devil. Who
plays the devil. And they arethe witches. And it's a
fantastically cheeky fun movie.Think

Sarah (19:33):
I I will never forget the scene where that woman just
starts throwing up the cherrypits and can't stop. Yes. It's
so disturbing. They're Butthey're witches. They are
witches.
These three are just the threelike misfit sisters. You know,
they kind of remind me of thethe three sisters in Hocus
Pocus. Yes. There's like youngone who's kind of pretty and the

(20:01):
older one who's really nasty andthe other one who's kind of
stupid.

Mark (20:04):
Well there's three sisters that they could have like, there
are so many three sisters inmythology they could have made
reference to.

Sarah (20:11):
Yes. They could have done so many interesting things. Many
interesting things. None ofthose things they did.

Mark (20:16):
Now, one of the things I'm gonna harp on in this episode is
that Joy is a different personto every single person in in her
life. Yes. She's completelydifferent to different people.
Like, incredibly cruel to somepeople, just nasty to other
people, and then she's like alllovey dovey with Grendel.

Sarah (20:36):
Mhmm.

Mark (20:37):
Like it's so weird how different she is with people.
But Gren says that he doesn'tlike the sisters and I'm like,
of course you don't. Theyobviously mistreated Joy at some
point in time.

Sarah (20:50):
Well, I think she gave it back. Well and then But he's
gonna take her side.

Mark (20:54):
They made her into dim sums. Yes.

Sarah (20:59):
I like when they go to the police station for the first
time, the sisters, and Mikebasically gets them there by
saying that they have coffee andtea and cookies. And they're
like, okay. Yeah. And when theywhen April gets really mad and
she's like, we're leaving. Yeah.
Kitty grabs half the cookies onthe plate on the way out because

(21:23):
they've had like nothing butwater and kale.

Mark (21:26):
There's a brief discussion of Mike's chakras, and he's
like, I don't have any chakras.

Sarah (21:32):
I don't have chakras. And lots of talk about Kristin's bad
coffee. And Brain hands him acup of coffee and he says, did
Kristin make this? And he says,no, I did. And he goes, good.

Mark (21:45):
Like, it's totally out in the open now. Mhmm. Mike
forwards the information on toHughes about Breen's change in
position. He's leaving.

Sarah (21:54):
Is drum is drum ball a real thing? Do people actually
do that? Beat on yoga balls withdrumsticks? No. Okay.

Mark (22:02):
And I was like, who is that again? And then I was like,
oh, yeah.

Sarah (22:06):
It's Frodo's non girlfriend. It's not Frodo's
girlfriend. She wants to keep iton the down low. Yeah. Whatever,
Frodo.

Mark (22:13):
Which, again, is another reference to season eleven. They
are connected

Sarah (22:19):
Yeah. In

Mark (22:20):
weird ways. Joy's laptop would be completely useless
unless she was doingspreadsheets. Because I'm sure
they don't have WiFi that'savailable.

Sarah (22:31):
Yeah, I don't know what she would be doing on it. Frodo
is such a hustler, so not onlydoes he bring the coffee cart
around so the ladies can slipover and get a cup of coffee,
he's delivering pizzas on thedown low too to April. Every
night she eats an entire pizza.

Mark (22:49):
And then waits for the box. And on the box it is Porky
Pigeon. Ray's Gourmet Ray'sPorky Pigeon.

Sarah (23:02):
He's delivering for Ray.

Mark (23:03):
And so I was wrong, again I admit these things I find
them. I said that there was onlyanother one other episode to
mention Gourmet Ray's

Sarah (23:14):
Porky But

Mark (23:16):
now, season eleven

Sarah (23:18):
Yep.

Mark (23:19):
There is a Porky Pig reference

Sarah (23:21):
in Porky pigeon. Yeah.

Mark (23:22):
Porky pigeon reference in season eleven.

Sarah (23:26):
I love that Frodo wears all black. He's got a sock hat
on. He's he's Puts the stuff onhis face.

Mark (23:32):
Yeah. He's totally He kinda falls out of the bushes.

Sarah (23:36):
Gorilla pizza delivery. He's like, I'm not breaking any
laws. Right? That's not againstthe law. Right?

Mark (23:42):
I love how the not girlfriend is like they have a
special code when whensomebody's coming and they have
to hide their drinks. Mhmm. Likeit's it's

Sarah (23:55):
Nutritionist inbound. Go.

Mark (23:56):
Go. Go. Not only does Frodo get in there, but he gets
his truck in there.

Sarah (24:02):
Yes. The non girlfriend's name is Kimberly.

Mark (24:06):
Yes.

Sarah (24:07):
Of course, missus m is there too.

Mark (24:09):
Of course, she's gotta do something.

Sarah (24:11):
Sitting on a bench being the wise old woman.

Mark (24:14):
Talking about Brazilians.

Sarah (24:16):
What's a Brazilian? Mike, you don't wanna talk. You don't
wanna know. No. They they jokeabout a brozillion.
Yeah. And I looked it up, and Ifound two spas that refer to it
as a manzillion. That's whatthey that's what these two spas
called it. Maybe they

Mark (24:34):
call it brozillions. The Legend of Zelda

Sarah (24:36):
shows. The Ocarina of Time.

Mark (24:39):
So an Ocarina most well known for being part of the
Legend of Zelda video Zeldavideo games, but actually a very
old instrument.

Sarah (24:52):
Yes.

Mark (24:53):
Right? It does make sense that crazy old crazy Silver
Cloud would be blowing away onhis pan pipes.

Sarah (25:02):
He has a ponytail and therefore should not be trusted.

Mark (25:05):
I agree.

Sarah (25:08):
You can't say that.

Mark (25:09):
As a person who had a ponytail.

Sarah (25:11):
Just because a man has a ponytail doesn't mean he's not
trustworthy.

Mark (25:15):
I had a ponytail in the eighties.

Sarah (25:20):
The tribal awakening ceremony. Do you think there's
some kind of like Ayahuascainvolved in that?

Mark (25:26):
There's certainly some kind of something. Or mushrooms
or I want to know how manythings they did. So he burns the
incense

Sarah (25:36):
and Wraps her in the gauze. Ties her to a tree.

Mark (25:40):
Like how many other things did they like film and then went
no, we can't use that.

Sarah (25:45):
Yeah, that looks weird. That doesn't work. I'm
disappointed we don't get anyfootage of Mrs. M doing any of
those things. Yes.
She looks like an old blind ladysitting on the bench because
she's got her sunglasses on andher cane. Yeah. Talking about
teaching Dreamweaver Dreamweaverclasses and I'm just thinking,

(26:07):
that software, anybody still useDreamweaver? And No. She's
talking about Dreamcatchers.

Mark (26:12):
Yes. There was a point in my life where I thought people
like this, like mister SilverCloud

Sarah (26:20):
Simon Smith. Were were not real people.

Mark (26:24):
Like real people were never like that. And then I
worked at the holistic school Iworked at Mhmm. And I was like,
what?

Sarah (26:30):
And then you you met entire groups of people who were
just like that.

Mark (26:34):
Who would speak often about my aura and things like
that.

Sarah (26:39):
Quite seriously.

Mark (26:39):
I was just like, what the wow woo woo are you talking
about? They believe in thatstuff. Are you not the middle
school science teacher?

Sarah (26:50):
It's okay if they believe in It's not hurting

Mark (26:52):
I guess so. I guess so.

Sarah (26:53):
We probably have listeners who believe in that
stuff. Hint hint. Don't make toomuch fun of I

Mark (26:58):
won't make fun of it.

Sarah (26:59):
It's I bet you

Mark (26:59):
we have listeners who listen to Judas Priest just like
Frodo too.

Sarah (27:04):
He's got his t shirt on.

Mark (27:05):
That is his favorite t shirt. And how do we know it's
his favorite t shirt?

Sarah (27:10):
He's wearing it again in season eleven.

Mark (27:11):
Season eleven.

Sarah (27:13):
Yet another connection.

Mark (27:15):
Gina accuses Sims of reading Wikipedia. What's wrong
with reading Wikipedia?

Sarah (27:20):
It just means that you don't have real knowledge. I I
should have had results sooner,but the human crock pot makes it
more difficult. She's so harsh.Gina, when they ask Silver Cloud
where he was, he says he wasalone and involved nakedness,
kombucha, the Egyptian goddessof the starlit sky.

Mark (27:42):
Yes.

Sarah (27:43):
So he was laying in the grass naked drinking kombucha?

Mark (27:46):
I guess so. What's funny is Do you think he

Sarah (27:50):
do you think we are meant to believe that he actually
believes all that stuff.

Mark (27:56):
No. No. And the reason why I think that is because in that
single solitary moment where shehe talks to the woman who runs
the retreat and he says thatring was worth nothing and I
mean nothing. Like here isunderneath me, the real me.

Sarah (28:16):
I disagree with that. I don't think that means that he's
not sincere about his currentlife. He just has knowledge from
his former life which was intostealing But he knows that she
needs money. Yes. And he'ssaying it's not gonna help you.
Yeah. Let it go.

Mark (28:32):
That's true. Maybe.

Sarah (28:34):
I think he I think he's sincere.

Mark (28:36):
Maybe.

Sarah (28:36):
I don't think you could do that four hour tribal
awakening with people four orfive times especially with the
same And

Mark (28:44):
the apothecary.

Sarah (28:45):
If you didn't actually believe that stuff. Yeah. It
would make you crazy angry aftera while

Mark (28:53):
And again

Sarah (28:54):
if you thought it was all bullshit.

Mark (28:55):
It's it's it is valid to be interested in alternative
forms of both consciousness andmedicine.

Sarah (29:03):
If it helps people Yeah. So long as they're doing it
instead of taking regularmedication, I got no problem
with it.

Mark (29:09):
But any reference to kombucha is now permanently
locked in my mind in relation tomy hockey team. Oh, my poor
hockey team who have lost in theplayoffs.

Sarah (29:22):
What does that have to do with kombucha?

Mark (29:24):
The former captain, the soft spoken, very emotionally
reserved captain

Sarah (29:30):
John Tavares.

Mark (29:31):
John Tavares has a kombucha tap in his house.

Sarah (29:35):
Oh, for him?

Mark (29:37):
Yes. And his family, he likes it that much. Oh. So now
I'm thinking of John naked inthe backyard with kombucha.

Sarah (29:46):
With the Egyptian goddess of the starlit sky.

Mark (29:49):
Yes.

Sarah (29:49):
It would explain why he's so laid back and soft spoken.

Mark (29:52):
There are several references to the ring and
precious, my precious, this isall Lord of the Rings Lord of
the Rings.

Sarah (30:00):
I love when Breen calls Sims and he's like, precious, my
precious, over the phone. Peoplein New Zealand must have a love
hate relationship with Lord ofthe Rings. Like, there must be
times when they're like, I'mtired of it. Okay? I just need a
break.

Mark (30:13):
I need a break.

Sarah (30:14):
Stop mentioning it for five minutes.

Mark (30:16):
And and really, it's funny because up until, like, the the
making of the first movie, sothat would have been '98, they
started making them, somethinglike that.

Sarah (30:28):
Lord of the Rings was more associated with Oxford.

Mark (30:31):
Was in no way related to New Zealand?

Sarah (30:33):
No. Not at all.

Mark (30:35):
And it must have been weird that it it and it must
have really overtaken thecountry at that point in time.

Sarah (30:41):
Yeah.

Mark (30:42):
And so Gina says she much preferred when Lord of the Rings
was banned.

Sarah (30:48):
In her country.

Mark (30:50):
Yes. Which we are assuming is Russia. Mhmm. Now, I've done
some research into this.

Sarah (30:55):
Was Tolkien ever banned in Russia?

Mark (30:57):
First of all, the actress who plays Gina was not born in
Russia.

Sarah (31:02):
Right.

Mark (31:03):
She was born in Transylvania, in Romania, which
would have been behind the ironcurtain at this point in time.
Mhmm. She went to college in'94. So I'm assuming that if she
went to college, it's hard tofind her birth date. If she went
to college in '94, she was bornroughly in 1976.

Sarah (31:23):
Because you're saying that the character and the
actress are roughly the sameage.

Mark (31:26):
Are roughly the same And in the Soviet Union, the Lord of
the Rings was in fact banned.And it's easy to see why it was
banned because a bunch of freethinking religious folks are
against a over oppressiveindustrialized state which wants

(31:50):
to take over the world. Like,it's easy to see why they might
have had some problems with

Sarah (31:56):
They might have thought it was anti communist. Yes.

Mark (31:59):
So it was banned in Russia, but there was a in 1982,
there was an there was like a anabridgment released for
children. Now, I don't know ifit's been a while since you read
Fellowship of the Rings, it'snot a kid's book. Hobbit, you
could argue, is a kid's book.

Sarah (32:20):
Yeah.

Mark (32:21):
It's high adventure Lord of the is not a kid's book.

Sarah (32:25):
Special kind of kid who can get through it.

Mark (32:28):
So, it was banned in the Soviet Union until there was no
Soviet Union anymore. She isabsolutely right that that was
the case. I do not think thatshe would hate it as much, but
it's fun that she hates it. It'sfun that Breen plays it up. And
it's fun that Kristen playskinda in the middle where she's

Sarah (32:50):
Just tired of hearing about Tired of hearing about it.
The witches come to confess.Yes. Danny confesses. Kitty
confesses.
Why does Kitty find it difficultto meditate because she thinks
about laundry and string beansother than that she's She's just

Mark (33:09):
like the prototypical housewife.

Sarah (33:12):
You think that's why?

Mark (33:13):
I think that's why she's

Sarah (33:15):
Why string beans?

Mark (33:16):
I don't know.

Sarah (33:17):
Why not laundry in the soccer run? Why string beans?

Mark (33:21):
I don't

Sarah (33:21):
She mentions it twice.

Mark (33:23):
She mentions the string bean twice. And

Sarah (33:26):
But she must be She's the middle one, right? April is
older. I think it's I think it'sApril, Kitty, Joy, Danny.

Mark (33:34):
Yeah, think so.

Sarah (33:35):
From oldest to youngest. Yeah. And so it makes sense that
Kitty who is kind of in themiddle is trying to make up.
Right? She she arranges forthese three sisters to be there
when Joy is going to be there.
Yeah. And that makes all of themmad. Yes. Poor Kitty. She just
wants to have some string beansand have everybody So

Mark (33:56):
much time at the passive of aggressive tree house yelling
at each other.

Sarah (34:01):
Enjoy throwing rocks at them from up above.

Mark (34:04):
You're a party pooper. I'm like, woah. Who poops at
parties?

Sarah (34:10):
Half the people listening, more than half, have
never seen that video.

Mark (34:13):
So there's a YouTube video of a German comedian talking
about the weirdness of thephrase party pooper, where we
have put in our vernacular.

Sarah (34:25):
Yeah. And I'll put And it's not literal.

Mark (34:27):
I'll put it in the show notes.

Sarah (34:29):
But he's taking it literally, and it's very funny.

Mark (34:32):
It's incredibly fun. Why would anyone poop at the party?
So this is kinda it becomeskinda Rashomon here.

Sarah (34:41):
Yes. Right? Where we read story. I don't understand the
St. John's wort situation.
No. Right? So Gren has abusiness where he's importing
these lightweight golf clubsfrom China.

Mark (34:59):
Yes.

Sarah (35:00):
And he also buys some St. John's wort extract from China.
And that's part It's like superpotent. That's part of what
kills joy.

Mark (35:11):
And he wants to poison her with happiness?

Sarah (35:13):
I don't know if he I don't think he means to kill her

Mark (35:17):
No.

Sarah (35:17):
Because he wants her back.

Mark (35:19):
Yeah.

Sarah (35:19):
He's he's not angry at her.

Mark (35:21):
When when she says, I wanna try again, they both that
the scene

Sarah (35:27):
They both look very happy.

Mark (35:28):
The scene the acting in that scene is very good.

Sarah (35:31):
Yeah. I think he's legitimately happy. So if he
imports it and it's much morepotent than what she has been
using, it might be a mistake.Maybe. I don't even know if he
meant to do that.
He can't read it.

Mark (35:47):
The the who gets in trouble and who's to blame here
is kinda all mixed up at theend.

Sarah (35:54):
So all three of the sisters claim that they've
killed her. Yes. But they alsoall three claim to have gone
back to take the wedge out.

Mark (36:01):
Yes. Do you buy that there would be a wedge there?

Sarah (36:04):
No. I think the cleaners would have their own wedge

Mark (36:07):
I think so.

Sarah (36:07):
On their cleaning cart that they would use to prop open
every door that they need toprop open.

Mark (36:11):
Because that's a dangerous thing.

Sarah (36:12):
Yes.

Mark (36:13):
Like even as a joke.

Sarah (36:15):
Plus I think she could have slid it out from under the
door from the inside.

Mark (36:19):
I totally think she could have done that.

Sarah (36:21):
With a piece of paper or stick or Towel. Anything really
unless they wedged it in therereally well.

Mark (36:29):
Bread. One of those dim sum container.

Sarah (36:32):
A chopstick snack, you know. Here's another connection
between this episode and seasonseleven. Frodo's coffee cart gets
more interesting in everyepisode.

Mark (36:43):
Okay. Frodo's Coffee Cart is fantastical. First of all,
we're gonna talk about theFrodo's sign because the Frodo's
sign, the word Frodo's is sofantastically punk.

Sarah (36:58):
Yeah. Got It's like graffiti.

Mark (37:00):
Laddered paint, it's got it's got graffiti, and it's like
the set dresser worked reallyhard on that sign, and then
realized that they would have toput all these little letters in
on the other side of the signbecause it's one of those little
letter things where you put itin. So they started at the top

(37:22):
with Frodo specials. Now no onemakes reference to this sign at
all No. In the episode, ButSarah and I both took
screenshots of it, and we werewe were about to embark on a
five minute discussion of thissign.

Sarah (37:37):
What the hell is a bumpy white?

Mark (37:39):
Woah. Woah. We're not there yet. So if you notice
carefully, it's not Frodo'sspecials. Did you No.
It's Frodo's spackles. Sospecials is spelled wrong.

Sarah (38:00):
Okay.

Mark (38:00):
It's like the e and the I have fallen off. Okay. So it's
and it's the letters are down,up, down, up, down, down, up,
down. Mhmm. Right?
Frodo's is perfect. Specials iss p, then there's a blank, c
blank a l s. Okay. So twoletters have fallen out of

(38:23):
Frodo's. Specals.
Then He has the $4.

Sarah (38:29):
He has the following five specials.

Mark (38:32):
Okay. We gotta do these one at a time.

Sarah (38:35):
Okay. We got a bumpy white.

Mark (38:37):
A what is a bumpy white?

Sarah (38:39):
I don't know.

Mark (38:40):
I do not know what a bumpy

Sarah (38:41):
white is. I don't know what makes it bumpy. Unless it's
like instant coffee and youdon't stir it enough, but he's
not making instant.

Mark (38:48):
And it's certainly not Is it decaf? Maybe calf or Is it
lumpy? I do not know.

Sarah (38:56):
Then we

Mark (38:56):
Then the set direct, the set dresser has now officially
become bored. Yes. Okay?

Sarah (39:05):
Because the second one is Latte bucket. It's $20.

Mark (39:11):
It's 20 New Zealand dollars.

Sarah (39:14):
For a bucket

Mark (39:15):
of I would like a bucket of latte. This sign is on the
screen for two seconds. It'sfull of jokes.

Sarah (39:24):
Oh my gosh. And it's not it gets better.

Mark (39:27):
Next, hit

Sarah (39:28):
me. Little bit longer than a short black. So you got a
short black.

Mark (39:35):
And then a little bit longer than a short black.

Sarah (39:38):
Even though a short and a tall are not the way he
categorizes the sizes of hisdrinks. Because there's another
sign that says small, middle,big, extra big.

Mark (39:48):
Yes.

Sarah (39:49):
So what is a short? I do not know. Then plus all the
other ones.

Mark (39:55):
Dash dash plus all the other ones. But finally So
clearly

Sarah (40:01):
they got bored. Everything else is 5.

Mark (40:03):
Everything else is $5. Unless

Sarah (40:05):
you wanna

Mark (40:07):
And ah. The letters a a a h.

Sarah (40:12):
$4.

Mark (40:13):
4 dollars. So what is an ah?

Sarah (40:18):
There is a drink AHA. Yes. But that's completely
different. It's not a coffeedrink. No.
I don't know what ah is. Itneeds an exclamation point. It
could also be

Mark (40:31):
Yes. So I'm assuming, let's be real and understand
that somebody worked on this.Mhmm. Probably took at least a
half hour to put all thoseletters in.

Sarah (40:45):
Mhmm.

Mark (40:46):
That person, the people on the set that day, and us, and
now you, dear listener, are theonly people who have ever seen
those jokes.

Sarah (40:55):
I think that person deserves our attention.

Mark (40:58):
I would love to have that person on the episode. Oh my
god. We have so many questionsfor that person. I'm in charge
of Frodo's truck. Okay.
Okay. Why does the sign in atruck

Sarah (41:11):
What the hell is a bumpy white?

Mark (41:12):
What the hell is a bumpy there is one door in Frodo's

Sarah (41:16):
Coffee cart.

Mark (41:17):
Coffee cart. One door. One. And it is labeled exit.
Yes.

Sarah (41:23):
He is kinda dumb, though. Once he gets in there, he might
forget how to get back outagain.

Mark (41:29):
I need a latte bucket.

Sarah (41:32):
And yeah, extra big is not big enough. I want a bucket
of latte.

Mark (41:38):
So then the other thing that comes to light is that
Grendel is ordering all of thisfrom Chengdu, which is a real
region in China. But in theweird world that is Sarah and
Mark, we used to work near eachother but we did not know each
other. No. This was

Sarah (41:58):
Long before we met each other.

Mark (42:00):
Long before we met, years before we met each other. And
there was a restaurant on theNorth Side Of Indy called
Chengdu. Mhmm. This is the onlyrestaurant in the history of
existence to actually do thetriumvirate. Most places you
have to say quick, fast, cheap,pick two.

Sarah (42:18):
Mhmm.

Mark (42:18):
Right? It could be quick and cheap, it could be good and
fast but not cheap or it couldbe not cheap but good and fat.
Whatever one I didn't deal with.But Chengdu was good, fast, and
cheap. Mhmm.
It was you got an entree, asoup, an egg roll, and a chicken

(42:40):
wing

Sarah (42:41):
And a drink.

Mark (42:42):
And a drink.

Sarah (42:42):
For like $5.50.

Mark (42:43):
5 50. Something like

Sarah (42:45):
In like thirty seconds.

Mark (42:46):
Thirty seconds. Unbelievably fast. That was

Sarah (42:50):
really good. I went there like once a week. For the like
three, four years I

Mark (42:54):
worked up Oh, we did not run into each other. We probably
did.

Sarah (42:57):
We were probably sitting in the restaurant at the same
time and

Mark (42:59):
we just

Sarah (43:00):
didn't Probably did. Didn't know each other so we
didn't know.

Mark (43:02):
So he confesses. So now we have four confessions.

Sarah (43:06):
Well he doesn't confess so much as they catch him. They
find the box of St. John's wortextract in his garage with all
of his golf clubs.

Mark (43:15):
And

Sarah (43:16):
Gina has already figured out that Joy had a heart
condition and so and very highserotonin levels and taking that
high a level of St. John's wortwould have put her heart in
danger. Yes. I Again, I don'tthink he meant to kill her. I
don't That doesn't make anysense.

Mark (43:37):
I have in my notes at this point in time, it would have
been more likely if we calledthe episode the wedges of broken
wood instead of the witches ofbroken wood.

Sarah (43:49):
It could be the warts of Brokenwood. Because wow. There's
no witches. So disappointing.Because yeah, because So not
only is this place like a prisonwith CCTV everywhere and you're
not allowed to have caffeine ormeat or cheese or

Mark (44:03):
anything Except for Mission Impossible Frodo.

Sarah (44:05):
And Grendel can get in and But when you arrive, they
check your baggage. Yeah. Andthey check your trash.

Mark (44:15):
I would have been For contraband. Screw you.

Sarah (44:18):
How much am I paying?

Mark (44:20):
Yeah.

Sarah (44:20):
And you're treating me like a I

Mark (44:22):
don't think so. Like this is understandable and

Sarah (44:24):
lot of If I eat a pizza, I don't get the maximum benefit
that I'm paying for here. That'smy problem.

Mark (44:31):
And I understand this in Poirot episodes in the thirties
when these sort of institutionswere different.

Sarah (44:39):
They were like medical places.

Mark (44:41):
That poor time that Poirot goes

Sarah (44:43):
to the The fat camp.

Mark (44:45):
The fat camp is not good. And Hastings is eating Cornish
hand and

Sarah (44:52):
stuff like that. Whatever he wants. So they check her bag.
So she is aware of the SaintJohn's wort. It's not like he
poisoned her with it by slippingit into her food or something.
She's voluntarily taking it.

Mark (45:04):
I think this is an example of a writing situation where a
writer goes, I want to make astory where everyone's a little
bit guilty but no one's superguilty. And they all went, Yeah,
that's a good idea. And thenthey did it and realized it's
not satisfying.

Sarah (45:23):
At the end? Yeah. Yeah. Because Gren could have just as
easily said, she's been takingSt. John's wort for a long time.
She knew I could get itinexpensively from China. So I
ordered a case of it for her. Itit's it's the same stuff that
she's always been taking.

Mark (45:39):
Yeah. It was on the same form as the golf club.

Sarah (45:42):
She recognized the bottle. It was what she always
took.

Mark (45:46):
And he wouldn't have to pay tariffs on it.

Sarah (45:48):
Oh, yeah. I mean, he he could have just said I mean, I
don't think there's any evidencethat he purposefully ordered
something far stronger than whatshe was used to. Yeah. But he
becomes aware of that because heslips into her room and takes
the bottle away. So he knowsthat it

Mark (46:06):
Which just makes him

Sarah (46:06):
look guilty. He knows the bottle makes him look guilty if
they think he bought it onpurpose.

Mark (46:12):
I guess. And why would you not hide that if you're going to
sneak in and steal the bottle,why would you not get rid of it
in your garage?

Sarah (46:21):
Hide the whole box. Yeah. Throw it out.

Mark (46:23):
Just throw it out. Anyway, the last five minute scene has
so much in it, we will probablyspend the next twenty minutes
talking about a scene that isnot related to the episode in
any way.

Sarah (46:34):
So let's talk about who's guilty. Okay. All three of the
sisters

Mark (46:39):
Are a little bit sorta guilty.

Sarah (46:42):
Are at least guilty of lying to the police.

Mark (46:44):
Yes. They are obstruction.

Sarah (46:47):
Two of them are obstructing justice. Yep. And
one of them legitimately closedher in there but came back after
eating an entire pizza to lether out. And Which could have
really really hurt her and maybeeven killed her.

Mark (47:02):
In front of Frodo.

Sarah (47:04):
She ate the pizza hiding behind her.

Mark (47:07):
What do you think Frodo did for the ten minutes?

Sarah (47:09):
I think he sat there and waited.

Mark (47:12):
Probably talked to her.

Sarah (47:13):
Well, she's going.

Mark (47:15):
Who can eat a pizza in ten minutes?

Sarah (47:17):
He he was dodging crusts or something. So what what April
did to her is dangerous. Yep.But could have killed anybody.
Never mind somebody with a heart

Mark (47:27):
condition. I don't think to the level of manslaughter.

Sarah (47:30):
Reckless homicide?

Mark (47:31):
Maybe.

Sarah (47:32):
Maybe.

Mark (47:33):
Maybe.

Sarah (47:33):
And the other two lied to the police and covered it up.
Then there's Gren which we'vediscussed. We don't know if he
had any intent to hurt her atall. No. Or if he even
understood that the stuff hebought was stronger than what
she was taking before until shewas already dead.
Yep. And then he slipped in toget it.

Mark (47:54):
Kimberly did nothing. Fleur did nothing. Saint Cloud
did nothing.

Sarah (47:59):
Silver Cloud? Silver Cloud. No. So so they're all
free. The most guilty person isApril because she actually
trapped her in there.

Mark (48:09):
At most.

Sarah (48:10):
And very well could have killed her and hurt her or at
least hurt her. Should haveknown that it would hurt her to
leave her trapped in there thatlong.

Mark (48:16):
And Gren, let's be honest, Gren's gonna get all her money
unless there's something in thewill that changes that. Mhmm.
And that kinda helps him.

Sarah (48:26):
Maybe short term, he makes bad decisions.

Mark (48:28):
So He does make bad decisions including too much
time golfing and drinking withhis friends.

Sarah (48:34):
Yeah. Pretending to pass out on the couch. Yes. Wait a
minute. No.
I have that wrong. Oh, back up.

Mark (48:41):
Okay.

Sarah (48:42):
Okay. So on the night she died he pretended to be passed
out on the couch. He doesn'tknow she's dead No. When he
slips into her room and takesthe Saint John's wort.

Mark (48:55):
But he wouldn't have known how much she took.

Sarah (48:57):
So why does he do that then?

Mark (48:59):
I don't know. And plus, was is he gonna kill her with
happiness? Like No. He's gotrealized he must serotonin

Sarah (49:06):
Yeah. Knows she has hard

Mark (49:08):
condition. It.

Sarah (49:09):
Yeah. But if he purposefully bought much
stronger stuff, he would knowthat that would be harmful to
her.

Mark (49:16):
I would much rather buy he realized what he had done and
then was like it's not

Sarah (49:24):
pretty meta Didn't want her to take it so he slipped in
to take it away. Yeah. Now I'mnot so sure anymore.

Mark (49:32):
But we never get a scene of him sneaking away. Yeah we
Like we get a scene of himsneaking in but never a scene
sneaking away from the the

Sarah (49:40):
But we know he pretended to be passed out just so he
could slip away and have analibi. I guess? But he doesn't
know she's dead.

Mark (49:46):
Yeah. It's weird.

Sarah (49:49):
I don't know. I don't understand. Yeah. I don't
either. I'm surprised he didn'trun into one of the sisters in
the dark.

Mark (49:55):
Or

Sarah (49:55):
Frodo. Like there's so many people creeping around in
the dark. It's not that big of aplace.

Mark (50:00):
Frodo finds the the addicted sister in the bushes
Yeah. Drinking the vodka and thecigarette.

Sarah (50:07):
Sits down and shares a drink with her while he's
waiting for the other sister toeat the pizza. Yep. Okay. Let's
go to the party. Breen'sleaving.

Mark (50:13):
The Breen Survival Pack.

Sarah (50:15):
It's a Hawaiian shirt, and I heart broken wood hat and
a pair of binoculars. Yes.Because you gotta keep an eye on
Roxy.

Mark (50:23):
The Solomon Islands is not much hotter than Brokenwood. But
we'll go.

Sarah (50:29):
I love that Gina gives him

Mark (50:31):
Anna

Sarah (50:31):
Karenina. It's a romantic book about a woman who throws
herself under a train.

Mark (50:36):
I have almost said those exact words to somebody who I've
seen who has like been like,what's Anachronina about? It's a
love story in which the womanthrows herself under a train.

Sarah (50:49):
Were you recommending it when you described it that way?

Mark (50:51):
No. No. I don't think so. I don't have a lot of Anna
Karenina is to me a lot likeMadame Bovary and I don't know
if you've read Madame Bovary butI there was a movie in the
nineties released of MadameBovary and I had read the book
but I had not fully comprehendedthe book. I read it really fast.

Sarah (51:13):
Mhmm.

Mark (51:14):
And the movie really hits home how annoyed you are of any
of Madame Bovary And I felt thesame way about Anna Karen.

Sarah (51:24):
You're like, just die already. I know you die.

Mark (51:26):
Like, can you go to the train station?

Sarah (51:28):
Just end it. Why why is there another 50 pages?

Mark (51:32):
But more importantly, we find out the ferret's name.

Sarah (51:36):
Frankie.

Mark (51:37):
Frankie the ferret.

Sarah (51:39):
He's got a little ribbon on. He does. And Mike gives
Breen a Walkman Yes. And acassette tape.

Mark (51:47):
Mike's top 20 country essentials.

Sarah (51:51):
Because you know he's gonna need that I guess.

Mark (51:54):
I I guess? Like and I understand. Walkmans were so
essential to my personality andwho I was when I was a kid. Like
listening to the bus, listeningon the bus, the music I wanted
to hear Mhmm. Was an identityforming institution.

Sarah (52:13):
It was the first time you could listen to what you wanted
to

Mark (52:16):
Yeah.

Sarah (52:16):
And it didn't have to bother anybody else.

Mark (52:18):
Totally understand that. But Breen is not that kid.

Sarah (52:22):
My my image of Breen going to be a policeman on the
Solomon Islands is that, he'sbasically gonna become Baywatch
and just be perpetuallysunburned.

Mark (52:31):
I guess? Sort of.

Sarah (52:34):
Because I just think of the Solomon Islands as like
beaches, which don't really gowith ginger.

Mark (52:42):
No. Breen's cake is horrendous.

Sarah (52:46):
That's because Sims made it. She's like, I'll bake you a
cake. He's like, I didn't knowyou baked. She's like, it can't
be too hard. Yeah.
Neither is making coffee. Youcan't do that.

Mark (52:55):
No. She she doesn't do either of those things. If you
did not catch it, I did postpictures of Sarah's cake on all
of the

Sarah (53:05):
relative Speaking of cakes.

Mark (53:07):
Of the social media channels. In fact somebody on
the Facebook asked me to post itbecause they had responded to
one of the posts I made on

Sarah (53:16):
It was super cool.

Mark (53:17):
It was everyone agreed that it was a super cool cake.
Roxy calls and we run-in toDaniel Chalmers.

Sarah (53:26):
Roxy calls because she needs Breen to come because
she's knocked herself out withher nunjucks.

Mark (53:33):
Which

Sarah (53:34):
I thought she was good at this stuff.

Mark (53:35):
Anyone who's done anything with nunchucks realizes, yeah,
that

Sarah (53:40):
Is it numb or none? None. Nunchucks.

Mark (53:44):
As far as I

Sarah (53:44):
know. Nunchaku.

Mark (53:46):
Yes.

Sarah (53:46):
Right? Yes. Yeah. He opens the door and Chalmers is
just sitting there lookingreally cool.

Mark (53:52):
So Chalmers is in like a biker jacket. Now he does ride a
motorcycle in these earlyseasons, but I plan I I like to
think that he was undercoverduring some stuff.

Sarah (54:07):
I don't remember. I'm sure I'll be reminded in the
next episode if he ever talksabout where he came from, where
he where he was posted before.So But I imagine it was a cooler
place than Brokenwood. Now saysnothing much happens around
here. Yeah.
You just have a murder everysingle week.

Mark (54:25):
Yes. Now Jared Rocari

Sarah (54:29):
Mhmm.

Mark (54:29):
Is Chalmers. And he he worked before this, but nothing
to this level. This is a hugedeal for this young He has such
good dimples. He has

Sarah (54:40):
He has the best dimples.

Mark (54:41):
He has fantastic dimples and big big arms. Nice arms. I'm
I'm thinking do we see tattooson him? Because I'm assuming I
don't remember. Tattoos.

Sarah (54:51):
I don't know. We'll have to be looking out for him.

Mark (54:53):
We'll we'll have to be looking out for him. Now, I have
a question for you.

Sarah (54:56):
I'll just be looking for dimples. They're so cute.

Mark (54:59):
Who is in more episodes? Breen or Chalmers? Now this is
season seven of 11, so there'san easy answer.

Sarah (55:08):
Well you'd think it's Brain, but the Brain seasons
have fewer episodes, so it'sChalmers.

Mark (55:13):
It is Chalmers by two episodes.

Sarah (55:15):
As of now?

Mark (55:16):
As of now.

Sarah (55:17):
As of season the end of season eleven? Yeah. Okay.
They're both equally good.

Mark (55:21):
I think they're both are they they did the transition the
way that Midsommar does it, thatit's good that it's a completely
different person. Yeah. It's nota

Sarah (55:33):
A similar replacement. They didn't bring in another
ginger guy. Yeah. But they whatthey did do that Midsommar never
does is actually hand offbetween the sergeants. And I
like that they meet.

Mark (55:48):
So Chalmers asked Breen for some tips for the new guy.

Sarah (55:52):
He says don't let Kristen make the coffee.

Mark (55:53):
Don't let Kristen make the coffee.

Sarah (55:56):
I think that Brain should have given Chalmers the Walkman
and the cassette tape. Oh. Andsaid, you should listen to this,
you're gonna need to build upyour resistance.

Mark (56:07):
Yeah.

Sarah (56:10):
You'll understand the boss a lot better if you learn
to love this music.

Mark (56:14):
And we don't learn this episode, but we will soon learn
probably the next episode thathe is also a partaker in the
short sleeve tie. So he wears ashirt and tie. He's a very well
dressed young man.

Sarah (56:28):
Otherwise known as the Dilbert. The Dilbert. He he has
short sleeve dress shirt. Showsoff his guns. I like Chalmers a
lot.

Mark (56:39):
I do too. I love how Chalmers like when Breen was
given crap, he would scoff andpeople would just not pay
attention to him. But butChalmers doesn't take it from
anybody.

Sarah (56:54):
Brain has little brother energy. Yeah. Chalmers doesn't.

Mark (56:58):
No. I think that's perfect.

Sarah (57:01):
And what what I really appreciate about Brokenwood in
general is that Kristen is thesenior officer to whoever this
character is, whether it'sChalmers or And that is never an
issue. It's never a thing. Thatshe's a woman and that she's
senior to them. No. Never anissue.

Mark (57:18):
It's also like this is a method of storytelling that I
like to call the story is thereis no story. And what that means
is there's no story aboutKristen being a woman and being
in a leadership role. Mhmm. It'sjust assumed that women can be
in leadership roles. Yep.
In the same way, it is justassumed that he is Mowry, but we

(57:43):
don't go into him as a family oranything like No.

Sarah (57:48):
He's not the token one.

Mark (57:50):
And he doesn't have

Sarah (57:51):
Nobody says, oh well it'd be nice to have you on the team
because you'll understand thisthat or And there's no

Mark (57:56):
time where he's talking to Todd or anything like that where
they're like well they wouldn'tunderstand. Nope. Like, it's
it's nothing like that.

Sarah (58:05):
Nope. It's just not a thing.

Mark (58:07):
That like like a lot of shows that did this, it's like a
world without COVID. Mhmm. We'rewe're just assuming that COVID
didn't happen

Sarah (58:17):
in this place. Which is fine. People don't need to be
reminded of that.

Mark (58:24):
Well, Sarah, we have another mini for this week
coming out for the last episode,the Odes Christmas. Ode's to
Christmas. Mhmm. Which has ainteresting method of death if
you've read the synopsis. PoorSanta.
And we will be covering one ofmy favorite episodes o seven,

(58:46):
season seven episode three, DogDay Morning, the next episode,
which is a direct reference toDog Day Afternoon and is perhaps
since, and I don't know if youremember this, in the movie
Snatch, there is a horriblerobbery gone wrong.

Sarah (59:05):
Mhmm.

Mark (59:06):
Do you remember that?

Sarah (59:07):
Mhmm.

Mark (59:08):
They tried to rob a betting establishment and it
goes just horribly wrong. Thismay be the second worst

Sarah (59:15):
The second worst robbery?

Mark (59:17):
Of all time. They walk in and somebody recognizes them
right away.

Sarah (59:22):
Yep. So Hey, Dave. What are you doing? Yeah. Why you got
a gun?

Mark (59:28):
Will be introduced charmers, and we will see more
of the chick of the pigeoncostume.

Sarah (59:37):
Yes. I love the porky pigeon. The porky pigeon. It
would only be better if Ray,being as cheap as he is, bought
a costume, like a mascot costumethat had a pigeon body but a pig
head.

Mark (59:50):
Oh, that would be fantastic.

Sarah (59:51):
It would be So that would make the name make sense anyway?

Mark (59:55):
If Ray could get it cheaper, he would be the one.

Sarah (59:58):
He would do it. Yeah. And that would explain why it's
called the Porky Pigeon. Untilthen. Bye, maniacs.

Mark (01:00:04):
Bye, maniacs. Thanks for joining us on the Mystery
Maniacs podcast. If you enjoyedour crazy podcast today, don't
miss out on future episodes.Follow us on social media for
updates, beyond the scenescontent, and exclusive sneak
peeks. Subscribe, like, andshare to spread the word.
Bye, Maniacs.

Sarah (01:00:24):
What would a pig chicken pig pigeon sound like?

Mark (01:00:28):
I guess.

Sarah (01:00:32):
Sweet poo.

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The Passive-aggressive Tree House | Brokenwood | "The Witches of Brokenwood" | Mystery Maniacs Podcast EP238

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}The Passive-aggressive Tree House | Brokenwood | "The Witches of Brokenwood" | Mystery Maniacs Podcast EP238