MYSTICAL AMERICAN PATRIOTS SOCIETY: Sumo & Smokestack's worldview repair and support service. We discuss the blood n' guts of the dystopic modernist technocracy from a Christian perspective, and equip listeners in stripping away putrid layers of decades-old baloney draped over us all by government, academia, and big-tech. We're doing our part to restore the patrimony of medieval European culture, specifically a coherent and satisfying worldview which seamlessly unites the physical and metaphysical, and encourages the flourishing of the human person. THINGS WE MIGHT COVER: Bigfoot. The Church Fathers. Enlightenment dialectical philosophy and its woes. Ghosts. How to build physics equipment. Phantom limb syndrome. Cloning. City planning. How to grow your own food. And much more! ABOUT THE HOSTS: Sumo is a hermit who lives deep in the black forest building enchanted particle accelerators and composing poetry. Smokestack is a podcast producing clone who lives in a hermetically sealed bunker because he has no immune system.


September 25, 2023 92 mins

Autumn, racist Halloween costumes, Sumo talks about how he used to be part of a cult in the woods that’s definitely not the KKK.

Nothing happened on September 23rd, 2023.

Everything is Star Magic, astrology is a real thing but most pop astrology is nonsense.

Freedom Fry and Stomp Clap Hey music.

The missing fighter jet.

Kavi’s new get rich quick scheme.

Tom Barnett Interview

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How do we address members of the MAPS cult?

Introduction to Jasun Horsley and the interview in the second half of the show.

Alien disclosure in Mexico

Sumo and Kavi both have no problem with grave robbing.

The beauty of grifting is that it doesn’t even matter if you tell people what you’re doing.

Sumo’s going to create a fake Bigfoot grift.

The new Fetterman just dropped.

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September 11, 2023 73 mins

Sumo’s new steel drum.

The flu vaccine no longer protects you from the flu. It never protected you from the flu, what are you talking about?

You can’t wake people up.

Vox Day does a scientific experiment and proves that we can see to far. Kavi gets into an argument with people on the Internet about it.

Everyone at NASA has been crazy.

Ludwig Wittgenstein and it’s as good as we can get.

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Civil War re-enactments, why was the Civil War so weird? Why don’t the re-enact the Revolutionary War? Maybe because of all the terrorism and guerrilla tactics… Do they re-enact wars in Canada?

Upcoming interviews on the Mystical American Patriots Society podcast!

The new Waynel Sexton. George Floyd re-cap. They always have to let you know when it’s fake, it’s part of the Illuminati religion.

Problem, rea...

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Make America Great Again, the Trump TV sitcom.

Trump’s mugshot

World War 3 predictions, the war in Niger, potentially aliens and how do you profit off the End Times?

Trump the Musical would be such a hit, the biggest hit, you’re never going to see a bigger hit. Sumo has a vision and it’s going to be great.

Soccer, “The Game of Ball,” the origins of the sport, soccer vs football, sports are too safe today and soccer used to be much more...

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August 21, 2023 122 mins

Sung Wong tries to sell everyone on shiny new room temperature superconductors.

Anything science-related that comes out of Asia is a scam. You might say they’re the greatest at scams.

All the low-hanging fruit of scientific discovery has already been plucked. 

Sumo explains how he’s now trans.

No one cared about pedophilia in the 80s, why does the right-wing care so much about it now?

Social media engagement is pointless.

Skin colors bei...

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Rich Men North of Richmond is an obvious psy-op.

Bring back ginger shaming! Gingers are a problem because they have Nephilim DNA.

There are no heroes, the only person who saves you is yourself, or maybe your friends and God.

The switch back is coming…

Sound of Freedom funder arrested for child trafficking.

Is Barack Obama gay? Obama’s chef dies under mysterious circumstances and seemed to have an interesting relationship with Obama.

A lo...

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August 7, 2023 114 mins

The king and the magic mirror. How Archimedes discovered buoyancy.

You’re going to have to ruminate on this episode.

Divorce by combat vs divorce today.

Going to the Colosseum would be so awesome, better than anything on Tik Tok and Sumo would totally go. The app would be the most popular app ever. The ancient world was better in so many ways but also worse.

Space continues to appea...

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July 31, 2023 93 mins

Predicting dates for the end of the world. Camping at the end of the world with Harold Camping and other failed predictions.

Sumo finishes watching the Last of Us. All the wokeness can be taken more than one way, see Horseshoe Theory.

Woke vs racist, it’s the same thing.

Wokeness wouldn’t matter in the apocalypse.

Talking about Australia with Tani.

Sumo has audio problems.

Stalled Century, the same stuff is recycled repeatedly. There are...

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Free Kevin Mitnick!

Life lessons from obese Steve Harvey. Only working when people are watching is the American way. Hacking used to be cool.

Sumo segues into population collapse.

Discussion of the Birthgap documentary with thoughts and theories why no one around the world is having kids.

Fertility statistics about different countries.

Births being uncoupled from marriage doesn’t seem to influence the overall birth rate.

Sacrifice vs deb...

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July 17, 2023 90 mins

The first ever MAPS members only livestream!

How different generations take care of (or don’t take care of) their children.

Sumo goes to see the live action Little Mermaid movie and talks about things that don’t make sense.

The CalArts animated style is ruining everything.

The new Snow White movie doesn’t look great either, the intentional uglification of all forms of art and entertainment right ...

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July 10, 2023 91 mins

Zombie movies and TV shows. There’s not a lot of zombies in ancient folklore. Sumo’s film thesis is that they’re a result of modern society and automation.

Sumo offends all the nerds.

If you ever find yourself in a zombie apocalypse just wear some layers.

The Mystical American Patriots Society is working on the zombie vaccine and genuinely saving lives.

The Moon Map! How map projections work. Everything is an inversion and that’s the D...

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July 3, 2023 106 mins

Buy food buckets because France is on fire! Protesting is pointless and Europeans are insane/fundamentally broken. All you can do is take away their weapons. Americans are at lest slightly less insane.

MAPS really needs to sell food buckets.

The story of Ross Ulbricht and the Silk Road website. 

When a member of your tribe commits a crime it’s natural to side against the police/government.

The justice system is usually pretty fair.


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June 26, 2023 105 mins

Mr. Rogers was kind of creepy. A ton of stuff happened this week. What's the deal with all the shoes?

They faked the moon quarantine, but the rest of the moon landing was definitely real. Sumo’s moon landing is fake prediction, bookmark this in your brain.

Conspiracy theories are still serving the system. Return to the Eternal Conspiracy. Finding ways to profit from the schemes of the elite.

The “...

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The beauty of landfills, Sumo finds his old Historical European Martial Arts (HEMA) equipment, what Medieval Times were really like, Tacti-Cool spears and other weaponry, Dead Internet Theory, people just want their own worldview confirmed, Holy Days and Juneteenth.


Winguard Wearables
Alternate Current Radio

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Alternate Current Radi...

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June 12, 2023 111 mins

Swimming, forest fires, hurricanes, crazy 711 stuff, Ted Cruz and aggravated homosexuality, Lauren Southern is the latest conservative to get divorced (from a fed), thoughts on Ted Kaczynski, UFOs and theories about the sudden disclosures, Apple’s new VR googles, Trump’s getting indicted again (yawn) and shark attack sovereign citizens.


Lauren Southern's giant tweet and video
Apple's Visio...

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Röbynn Europe’s totally real lawsuit, SpongeBob PedoPants, they’re digging a 33,000-foot hole in China (because of course), weather manipulation, chemtrails, climate change, geo-engineering, Canadian politics break and Kavi might start a political party, water experiments, manipulating the weather with your mind, and frequencies.


Frankenskies Documentary
Blue Mind: The Surprising Science That Shows ...

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May 29, 2023 150 mins

The Prime Directive and Yosemite (The Bison Thing), Indian white supremacists, the gang tries to buy some Nazi flags, the Eternal Conspiracy as demonstrated in That Hideous Strength and the rest of C.S. Lewis’s Space Trilogy, J.R.R. Tolkien’s take on conspiracy, dragons, the Technical Distraction, Sumo gives a physics lesson and Kavi visits a dinosaur museum.


The Yellowstone Tweet (now with added contex...

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May 8, 2023 123 mins

Sumo’s adventures at Disney World, progress, the Kremlin attack, the Steven Crowder train wreck, Japan failed to go to the moon, you need to lie to make money, Antarctica Extravaganza, and the MAPS Order of the Penguin.

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