August 18, 2024 • 45 mins
Have you ever wondered if traditional funeral practices are helpful to the living? Or do they add weight to an already heavy time? Do those who have passed have an opinion about what happens after they die? Do they prefer that we mourn them in sadness or find them in joy? Join us on Mystical Truths as Mary and I tackle these poignant questions, drawing from Mary's recent experience with the death of her husband's cousin. Together, we unravel how these events have transformed our views on funerals and whether they bring comfort or merely uphold societal expectations. With a bit of humor, we delve into the heart of what it means to commemorate a loved one, challenging the necessity of elaborate ceremonies and costly caskets.
As we navigate our thoughts on traditional burials, we confront the reality of embalming and the symbolic "forever bed." You’ll hear compelling thoughts and personal anecdotes about why simpler methods, such as cremation and scattering ashes, may offer more meaningful tributes. This episode is a light and humorous discussion that invites listeners to consider how they’d prefer to be remembered.
In our exploration of burial options, we shed light on innovative and sustainable practices, from green burials to donating bodies to medical science. By examining these alternatives, we aim to inspire our listeners to think outside the box and reflect on what truly matters during that time of change. Our goal is to provide a thoughtful perspective that respects the deceased's wishes and offers genuine comfort to the living. Tune in as we advocate for more personal, environmentally conscious ways to celebrate life and big change.
References:
National Home Funeral Alliance
BodyWorlds.com
Everloved.com/articles/funeral-planning/7-alternatives-to-burial-cremation
Your Likes, Follows, and Shares are noticed & appreciated.
For personal guidance, you can reach Rebecca at:
MysticalTruths.com
rebecca@mysticaltruths.com
A big Thank You to CreativeCommons.org
Audiorezout. 14.Be Happy.mp3 for the music.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rebecca Troup (00:07):
Welcome to the Mystical Truths Podcast.
This is Rebecca, and I'm reallyglad you're here.
Let's unlock your world.
I'd like to welcome back to theshow Mary, who would like to
talk today about funerals.
I really am looking forward tothis topic.
So, Hi, Mary.
Mary (00:27):
Welcome back, Hi.
Thanks for having me.
Rebecca Troup (00:29):
So you had some thoughts about funerals Lik hat
bugs you o
Mary (00:35):
o d y r l?
Okay, well, what really bugs me?
As you know, I've recently hada loved one pass away, but a
couple of months ago my husbandhad a cousin who had passed away
and we went to the funeral homefor t, the viewing and all that
stuff and and I'm thinking, I mI I knew this guy for a long
(00:59):
time but hadn't seen him inyears.
He hated funerals, h, h, h, hewas one that unless it was like
someone who was l super close,he would not go and everybody
kind of always looked down onhim.
or that, myself included, Iwould think, wow, that's kind of
(01:24):
cold.
Well now, I mean I'vecompletely changed my view about
it I.
I can't stand going.
I c s g and you know, I think Itold you this, h last r last
person that I knew that passedaway.
Um, I didn't find out about thefuneral until after the i fact
w and t was.
(01:45):
It was a mixed blessing.
I felt a little bit guiltybecause I didn't go, but
relieved at the same time.
Rebecca Troup (01:55):
Isn't that interesting.
Mary (01:56):
Yeah.
Rebecca Troup (01:57):
And so the, the gentleman that died did, did
they have a funeral for him.
Mary (02:03):
They did have a funeral.
We went to the viewing.
We did not go have a funeral.
We went to the viewing, we didnot go to the funeral.
We both had to work.
Rebecca Troup (02:10):
So, even though he didn't like funerals at all,
was it his decision to have thefuneral before he died?
, o .
n .
was going to say that's kind ofodd that you know he would not
like funerals so much, yet he aallow one to be put together for
him.
Mary (02:29):
The family put it together , his sisters put it together
for him and you know, thereweren't a lot of people there,
but there were a few that cameout of the woodwork that hadn't
also hadn't seen him in yearsand and all I could think was
(02:49):
why it's too late to to talk tohim now.
And I mean, and to be honest,in his later years he had
decided he really didn't want tohave much contact with anybody.
I mean, we had made efforts togo see him and talk to him, but
he, j h, really just he wantedto be alone.
(03:09):
Yeah, yeah.
Rebecca Troup (03:14):
I think we should honor that, if that's really
what people want.
Mary (03:17):
Yeah, yeah.
Rebecca Troup (03:18):
And I find it interesting really that you know
that he just did not likefunerals.
Yet they had one anyway, whichis not necessarily honoring him
or the person that he was.
It was honoring their maybemourning process or the way they
felt that they needed to gothrough that process.
Mary (03:37):
I guess Right, and I mean.
I've always said that funeralsare for the survivors and not
for the person who has passed.
Rebecca Troup (03:47):
Sure, you know, we say that we have the funeral
to honor them and to take timeto remember them, to come
together, which is all great.
But two, it's for the peoplethat are still alive.
Because we like ceremoniesUsually we like to make a big
deal out of things.
It may help people go throughthat grieving process, but then
(04:11):
also it may even make it worse.
In my opinion, because I'venever been a fan of funerals and
I've had many, especially whenI was younger a lot of family
members dying off and whatnot,and I always thought, you know,
this is just invited torture.
In my opinion, because, yes, itgives you some closure, it
(04:33):
gives you you can actually seethe dead body and know that the
person is not in it anymore.
But I mean, why not just haveone or two people see the dead
body and then just telleverybody else I saw the dead
body?
It's really, you know thisperson's really dead, right only
because it what a process it isand an expense and it's.
(04:55):
It's a lot of drama and it's alot of pain.
You know, once the more Istarted to learn about the death
process and after death and allof that, I was actually excited
going to funerals because I wastoo able to really tap into what
was really going on and wsometimes sense . energy w of
that soul there.
(05:15):
And I had to watch becauseafter I really started to get
this, then the next couplefunerals I went to I had a smile
on my face.
I'm just really loving thewhole thought that this person
is done with the physicalexperience and no longer
physically focused.
It felt a w and I thought, oh,I have to really watch myself
(05:36):
because people are going tothink that's disrespectful and
that I don't honor.
You know what y call their loss.
And I remember o growing upseeing all kinds of drama at
funerals people just throwingthemselves over the body and why
did you do this to me?
(05:57):
Or just days of sorrow andfeeling really bad about the
death experience and the whole.
It's part of life.
You know this is something thatwe have the opportunity to
watch animals and insects andpeople come and go, come and go
while we're still here that thisis all temporary and that the
(06:24):
animals just show us in and out.
They come in and out, in andout.
This is not a big dramatic thing.
And when we start funerals, tounderstand what's really going
on for the ", we're excitedabout one coming in and we're
really excited about one that'swithdrawing focus.
And people say, well, I know my, you know my mother or my aunt,
(06:45):
whatever, I know that they'reokay, they're in a better place,
why not?
People hope that, I think, andmaybe they, maybe they found a
way to really know that.
So at that point, what are wereally doing then?
Do we think they're okay?
We believe they're okay, butnow we have to get used to the
(07:05):
adjustment.
Right, and we can do that muchmore easily if we don't make it
a big, awful, terrible deal.
And that's why so many peopledon't like funerals, because
it's it's not easy being at afuneral.
First of all, nobody reallywants to be there.
No, you feel obligated to bethere and you're walking into w
(07:27):
a where you have y.
k Whether m you feel like it ornot, you have to be.
There are certain rules, right.
You w can n hook up onlinefuneral etiquette.
You know the things theythat m t or shouldn't do, say
whatever at funerals, because wehave set these rules or D w, t
and t I o get it that.
It's to be respectful and tohonor, you know, somebody i
(07:49):
else's process or theirreligious beliefs or whatever it
might be, and that's, you know,we should N all ou this,
however we want to do it, but I,to me, it just is hether a lot
of unnecessary pain or justuncomfortableness.
Even if people aren'tnecessarily mourning the person,
it's still very lookuncomfortable and then we all
(08:10):
gather together with our sadenergy and expect that to help
somehow, and it doesn't help.
I think the more people learnabout what life is like outside
of this life, I think we wouldbe much more prone to celebrate
the person's life and get a loteasier about life and death.
(08:33):
You know, I was looking at,just looking up a few ideas, you
know, about the, because Ithought, yeah, what about the
funeral stuff?
You know what about it?
it's one of the first things Ijust happened to come across
online was this video of a manin a casket talking about how to
select a casket, and he saidyou know, you really should
(08:56):
choose wisely, because this isyour loved one's forever bed.
It's where they'll rest foreternity.
And then he said it's creepy,yeah.
And then he said, or at creepy,yeah.
And then he said, or, at leastuntil the Lord comes back.
So choose wisely, because, also, this is going to be the casket
that everyone else will see.
Oh, my goodness and I thoughtwow, what, what, the forever bed
(09:19):
you know, it's not . foreverbed.
You could that you y could ksay it is, but it's a dead body.
Right, it's literally a deadbody.
It doesn't need pillows, itdoesn't need a fancy box, even
it's okay if you want to do that, but to me I would prefer that
we give it back to the earth.
(09:40):
Why would we think that weshould take the body that
somebody was in and put it insometimes a very expensive box
or monument of some type andleave it there forever, why?
And then we can go and visitthat which may help us feel more
(10:02):
connected to the person thatwas in A You know, everybody has
their own relationship they'renot in that body, they don't
belong with that body anymore.
And then I wondered if that manwas saying you know, put them
in their forever bed, make itnice, make it comfortable, pick
(10:24):
it out so everybody else thinksit's a good choice, or that you,
this person, was important, orwhatever that is Like you're
buying a car.
Yeah, and then I thought sountil the Lord comes back t So
bed?
you k know It's , I thought,yeah, Y well c what ou about the
embalming process?
Now, I know the Lord can doanything, but if you think about
it, there's so much done tothat body.
Mary (10:49):
It's not like, oh my gosh, well.
Well, my biggest thought is,especially with a, you know, a
traditional casket burialembalming the whole bit, do you
really want to think of yourloved one being planted in the
ground like that, like entombedforever?
Rebecca Troup (11:06):
Yeah, Like if I could see through the walls, if
I S t through t dirt eah in thewalls of the casket.
I can see that body laying"Lord, decaying, yeah, yeah.
Mary (11:15):
Yeah, it's to o m.
g It's w and it and it alwayshas been horrifying to me to
even think about that.
I mean, my preference iscremation and scatter me
somewhere.
I want to be free.
Rebecca Troup (11:34):
Well, you know, doing that would save a lot of
people in the past from wakingup in a casket in the ground,
because that's happened manytimes.
That's why they used to havethe bells, like the little bells
.
Mary (11:42):
Yes, i, yes, yes, oh Lord.
a That's i why they used to havethe bells, like the little
bells.
Rebecca Troup (11:44):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, would've saved, you know
it's just funny what we do outof, I don't know, fear,
tradition, honoring somebody.
And in the first videoeventually used used came to on
like the funeral bell i .
, the embalming and whatnot,because I remembered in the long
time ago I saw a documentarythat was done about some
students that were going toschool, you know, to mortuary
(12:07):
school, and I remember themsaying this is a, this is quite
a process, and they were showingthe different, some of the
different steps and they said wehave to wash the body, like
every single piece of the bodythat we can get to, because of
the decay process.
And I thought so.
Does anybody really think aboutthe fact?
(12:28):
No, you're dead, you don't as asoul, you don't care what
anybody does with your body, butso when you leave your body,
you're giving your body to somepeople.
Maybe you know them, maybe thefuneral director is your
neighbor or, you know, lives inyour town, and now your naked
body is on that table and everypiece that they can get to needs
to be even under thefingernails, in between the
(12:50):
folds of places, and all thathas to be cleaned out really
well.
And he showed all thesechemicals.
The video I found was a man whowas special permission.
Usually you're not allowed inthe l, but since this is a video
, I got special permission thatwe can do this.
So he's showing all of theseinstruments and eye caps and,
(13:12):
like the things they do to likemake the face look the way it
should, as best they can,because it's dying.
You know, the body, after thesoul leaves it takes a while for
the body to actually die.
So yeah.
So they not y have y to o L all,but then of course they have to
drain the blood, they have toput particular fluids into the A
(13:36):
.
n And it was just watching thisprocess.
l they we was he was using adummy like a fake i, t but he
said we even have to puncturethe hollow organs and drain them
and then insert cavity fluid.
And so all of this done, andespecially even the hair, the
makeup, eventually, after allthis preservation and removal of
(14:00):
certain things has happened,then they dress the body and put
it in the pretty box and leavehalf of the box open so that
everybody can see.
And he said they usually dohave pants on or whatever oes on
the bottom, but usually a N oftimes no shoes and I thought
sure, because we don't reallyneed shoes, they're not running
(14:20):
off anywhere nobody.
Nobody's going to see them everDonate them.
But so you know, I thoughtthat's just a whole lot of stuff
.
Personally, I'm going for thecremation or a couple other
things that we'll talk about.
Mary (14:35):
Not that there's a good funeral, but the best funeral
that I had ever been to was mybrother.
He passed away and he knew hewas, his health wasn't great.
He pre-planned everything andit's a little odd for me because
I never got to see him.
(14:56):
They just they took him fromwhere he passed away to the
funeral home and he was crematedright away.
I never saw the body.
It's just because everyone elsethat I've ever had to deal with
in that regard I saw the body.
I didn't see his, but in someways it was a lot better.
(15:21):
He just had a little memorialservice at the funeral home and
then we went to lunch after andthat was it.
I mean, it was like it waseverything total was over within
like four hours and it was alot less traumatic, I They're
say that which helps n healingprocess, the grieving, Right, if
(15:42):
there is any.
my, it was the whole shebang.
It was two days viewing churchservice, watching the casket go
into the ground, the whole.
I have vibrant memories of thatand it's not good.
Rebecca Troup (16:02):
It really isn't.
I think it teaches kids to makea horrible scene out of death
in a big, tragic, sad, longdrawn out process.
And I always say I'm fine withhowever anybody wants to do it.
It's up to them.
But for me, you know, that'sjust the way I view it and I
just I'm up for if anybody wantsto see my body when I died,
(16:27):
that's fine.
I go ahead and look at it.
If it helps you get thatclosure.
I'm going to have somebody on anepisode fairly soon who did
need to see her husband.
She wasn't with him when hepassed and I can't wait to tell
that story because when she didsee him there was a huge piece
of information there that thathelped her and just it's just
(16:51):
pretty.
I don't even want to give itaway, it's just really, really
cool.
And so there's that.
You know, if you want to see it, see it.
If you really don't feel likeyou need to see the body, then
don't.
But for me there will be nolaying out process.
I don't need to be laid out.
I don't need people to come andhonor my life or help my family
(17:14):
or whatever in that way,because that to me is just hard,
just hard.
I would much rather and my kidsalready know have me cremated,
unless I choose one of the othercouple things we're going to
talk about here, but have mejust taken care of in that sense
, and then, just if you want to,I don't, I'm not even going to
tell them to do this.
Celebrate my life, do.
(17:37):
However you want to do that Ifyou want to just sit and talk
about some things.
that's fine, a and talk aboutsome things, that's fine.
If you want to have a group ofpeople together, that's fine too
, because that's for you.
At that point, whatever youneed to do to make it a happy
occasion, j I h will be there.
I'll totally be there for itknow, but I won't be in my body,
(17:58):
and you're just going to haveto get used to that, because
that's what we have to do here.
We have to get used to thereality of life does go on, yes,
even when we're not physicallyfocused anymore.
Mary (18:11):
I totally get the close family..
If like husbands, wives, sons,moms, dads, close knit family.
Absolutely.
I do believe they should beable to see them.
You know, briefly, but that,like you said, the whole process
, the whole being laid out andhaving people that haven't seen
(18:34):
you in 10 years, that are justlike curious.
Rebecca Troup (18:38):
You know, you know, but yeah, and a even like
I mean, we have religiousfunerals, non-religious, with a
celebration of life.
There are green funerals, whereeverything about the body and
how it's taken care of afterthat is biodegradable.
Yes, um, there are gravesiteservices without the whole
laying the body out thing.
There you can can do burial atsea, which can be ashes or the
(19:02):
whole body, depending on whereyou can get permission.
And then there are there's a, Iguess, a whole o of the home
funeral experience.
There is a national homefuneral alliance.
I watched a video of a few womenfrom that alliance and it's a.
They've got a full website, allthe instructions.
There's all kinds of materialresources on there, even the
(19:24):
legalities behind it.
But in this video they showedthe process that they are
trained to go through to help afamily have a home funeral, and
what they do is they wash thewhole body because they're not
going to embalm it, so the bodyis going to decay quickly, so,
so this can't be anything.
And they even gave youinformation on, like outdoor
(19:45):
temperature or indoortemperature, like how not to let
weird things happen with thebody.
And so they wash it, theyprepare it in certain ways, they
use herbs and things like thatto keep the smell decent.
Mary (20:01):
Right, right y.
k
Rebecca Troup (20:03):
And they suggest that even the family wash the
body.
It's like a ceremony where thefamily can kids included, if you
want, can wash the body andtell stories as you see a scar
here or calluses on the hand.
It just brings up stories andeven laughter if, like some body
(20:24):
fluids or air escapes from thebody while you're in the process
.
They're like humor can be apart of this and I thought it
was kind of cool.
But I thought, okay, but again,I don't want my family washing
my body, not for any otherreason, that if I had to wash my
parents' body after they died,I don't know I could do it.
(20:44):
But I just don't.
Like, why, like, why?
Why?
You know what.
Let's just hire you.
You know, we can hire you towash the body Because they wrap
it, they put clothes on it andthen they wrap it in a shroud
and put flowers on top, and you,you know, then the family can
come in and do whatever theywant to do, you know, ceremony,
(21:04):
or just say goodbye or whatever.
But this is done at home and Ithought, well, that's sure, why
not?
I mean, if that's what worksfor somebody, that's another
option.
Um, but it would have to be akind of quick one oh, yeah, I
also also came across thisarticle of 74 ways to never say
(21:26):
die.
And so instead you say like pastor perished, or on the other
side, resting in peace, or theperson unalived themselves.
And I had to read it I'm likeunalived themselves, and I had
to re-dig it I'm like unalivedthemselves, which is what you
(21:46):
say if somebody commits suicidethe person unalived themselves.
And I thought so can't we justsay like they died and that they
committed, like they justkilled themselves?
You don't have to say committedsuicide, because it sounds like
that's just weird.
But they took their own life,they ended their own life, they
chose to leave and withdrawfocus from the body.
(22:07):
They did it on purpose, because, again, we don't have to make
that a big hairy deal either.
Mary (22:12):
Right.
Rebecca Troup (22:13):
Because maybe if we didn't, people passed
wouldn't do it in ways that arekind of extreme and hard for the
family to see.
But I feel that if somebodywants to voluntarily leave this
we have complete freedom to dothat.
(22:34):
We're not in any trouble for it.
It's not a horrible idea.
It also is not the best option.
A horrible idea.
It also is not the best optionbecause, generally speaking,
once that happens, the soulwithdraws focus and then sort of
has thoughts along the lines ofoh, like I was that far into
that life, I probably could havedone some things and approached
(22:57):
it a different way, and maybe Ishould have just stuck that out
.
But it's not, it's it's.
There's no guilt there, thoughyou know.
There's no like feeling likeyou're in trouble.
It's just a realization of,well, you know what.
I probably could have gonefurther with that, but I didn't.
Mary (23:13):
Yeah.
Rebecca Troup (23:13):
Now I see what that has caused, maybe for other
people, but I think we also seethat the reason why it torments
other people is because oftheir own beliefs about death
and dying.
So that has to be consideredtoo.
You know, whether somebody diesnaturally or they take their
own life, what that does to thepeople still here in bodies is
(23:36):
not on the soul left.
That's on us.
You know what we do with it andhow that torments us or
compliments us going forward.
That's really on us and there'salways going to be, I'm sure,
an adjustment for anybody,depending on how much that
person affected your life day today.
There will be an adjustmentwith that change, but it doesn't
(23:57):
have to be so painful and sosad and as awful as we've made
it out to be.
And then, like you said, havinga funeral on top of that just
drags it out.
So I thought what are the otheroptions today?
You know, to just thatembalming and put the body in a
(24:18):
box and whether you have alayout or not, what are the
options there?
The body in a box and whetheryou have a layout or not, what
are the options there?
And so some of the other onesare to go green, which means
let's see so in the green burialprocess.
It's foregoing the embalmingand it's even certified by a
green burial council in which itsays the use of biodegradable
(24:43):
burial containers or shroud, Iguess, are given to the family.
So it's yeah, basically, if thebody is embalmed, they use
environmentally friendlyproducts, and then the container
that the body or the remainsare put in would be
biodegradable as well.
So everything about that, evenif the person has clothes or
(25:05):
whatever, everything has to bebiodegradable or the body has
clothes Makes sense.
And then there's rest at sea.
They say it's originally usedor was originally used primarily
for those who died whileserving, like in the Navy.
But interest in full bodyburials at sea is increasing,
mainly because of theeco-friendly nature of it.
Mary (25:26):
Right.
Rebecca Troup (25:27):
Because some people just have a real
connection to the sea.
So in this case the body wouldbe put overboard in a
biodegradable weighted shroudand, I guess, just left to
nature which is fine, and theysay that can cost upwards of
$10,000.
Mary (25:44):
Oh wow, really Wow, that seems pricey.
Rebecca Troup (25:48):
It is just to like be put in something and
dumped.
Mary (25:51):
Right, because you're not going through all the embalming
process and any of that.
You think it would be cheaper.
Rebecca Troup (26:00):
Well, there probably are legalities that you
have to go through and pay forand all that kind of stuff, I'm
sure.
And then you can liquefyyourself.
Well, you can liquefy, you canhave your body liquefied, all
right, that's gross.
They describe this one asalkaline hydrolysis is emerging
(26:21):
as a new alternative tocremation.
The process involves submerginga body in a heated alkali
solution of potassium hydroxide.
This mimics the body's naturalprocess of breaking down, but
takes only a few hours insteadof many years.
Alkaline hydrolysis is alsorecognized as a greener
alternative, using a fraction ofthe energy of a standard
(26:44):
cremation.
So I guess you just have to.
It's legal in at least 15states, but you'd have to check
your state to make sure youcould liquefy yourself.
Mary (26:53):
Sounds like something from the Sopranos or something.
Rebecca Troup (26:57):
Or Roger Rabbit.
Mary (26:59):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rebecca Troup (27:01):
A fourth one is and some of these are really
cool.
I think a lot of us know aboutthis one.
The fourth one is you cancontribute the body to modern
medicine to help doctors learn,you know, as they're going
through school, which is areally nice idea.
When I was in the medicalprofession I would take classes
occasionally down to Oakland tothe medical lab, where we were
(27:22):
able to do that.
We were able to see jars oflike different body parts and
then sometimes they'd have abody there and they are a couple
of bodies, and they would showus the processes.
They were, their stages.
Maybe they were at of sort ofopening up the body and looking
and learning.
I don't know if you're allowedto do that anymore, though.
Here's another one you can useyour body to help fight crime.
By donating your body to aforensic research facility, you
(27:46):
can help teach studentsimportant factors about body
decomposition and influence,guidance given to police for
evaluating crime scenes, whichmeans you can be helping
professionals solve real crimes.
So they say, similar todonating your body to a medical
school, you give it to, I guess,law enforcement, and in certain
states it's not in every state,so that's kind of why I never
(28:09):
thought about the fact that youcould donate your body to
forensic research, to helpprofessionals learn about.
Mary (28:18):
I never would have thought learn about.
I never would have thought.
Rebecca Troup (28:21):
And all of this is from the website everlovedcom
.
Another one is, and this one Ireally like.
I don't know if I'm going to dothis one, but I really like it.
You can become art, yeah, itsays.
Oh, if you're, it gets reallygood.
Though it's not weird, becausewhen I first saw that I thought,
(28:43):
oh, okay, is this like where weuse menstrual blood to create
art on a?
Mary (28:48):
thing, as I've seen the body's exposition that they it
was running here for a while Ithink it was at the science
center, um, and I guess it's atraveling thing.
I've not that I ever went to it.
Um, and I guess it's atraveling thing.
I've not that I ever went to it.
But is that what they'retalking about?
Something like that.
Like, I guess they use actualcadavers and they, like I don't
(29:09):
know, they pose them.
I don't know how.
I've never been so it was.
Rebecca Troup (29:13):
Yeah, that must be, because the website that
they link on here is called bodyworlds.
So I looked it up and it'sreally fascinating.
They have had, as of January ofthis year, well over 21,000
bodies donated to them and theyuse a process called
(29:34):
plastination.
So I mean you can look upbodyworldscom if anybody wants
to really read about it further.
But it's a very long drawn outprocess.
It takes about a year.
But they go through differentmeasures to remove skin and
fatty tissue.
Resin was one of the thingsthat they use in part of this
process too, but they have toinject stuff that gets into like
(29:56):
every single cell.
So they do first what's calledfixation and anatomical
dissection, which is taking awaythe skin and the fatty tissue
They've got to get bacteria outof the way and then the removal
of any excess extra body fatafter that process, and then
water.
They have to remove water fromthe body.
(30:18):
And then there's what they callenforced impregnation, which
the specimen is placed in a bathof liquid polymer, such as
silicon, rubber or epoxy resin,and by creating a vacuum, the
acetone boils at a lowtemperature.
As the acetone vaporizes andleaves the cells, it draws the
(30:39):
liquid polymer in, so thepolymer can penetrate every cell
and then they position thecells.
It draws the liquid polymer in,so the polymer can penetrate
every cell and then theyposition the body because it's
still pliable at this point.
So since the body is stillmovable, they can put it into
these interesting positions.
And they say they really haveto know their anatomy to make
(31:00):
sure that they are placing thebody in a way that it actually
would stretch or bend orwhatever, and then they have a
curing process which hardens itthen and it stays in that
position.
However they may position it assomebody, sort of in a running
position or in a sittingthinking position.
So I like that your body canbecome real art.
(31:24):
And this is all over the world.
By the way, they havestationary like that's a
traveling thing that you weretalking about, but they have
stationary museums that you cango to and see these collections.
It almost sounds like a waxmuseum In a sense, yeah, and
they say that this was reallysomebody's body, though like
they didn't just create this andit looks really good, this what
(31:46):
you're looking at.
Somebody lived in this body,wow.
And then they have other partsalmost like taxidermy yeah,
without the skin and the fattytissue.
They have animal exhibits too.
They even have like body part,like the heart, you know, so
that people and this is even formedical students too can learn
by looking directly at a realheart that's just been preserved
(32:08):
to just sort of stand in air sothat it can be viewed in 3D.
Another thing you can do ismake cars safer.
Never thought about this oneeither.
Apparently, since, like 19, the1930s bodies have been donated
to researchers to do crashtesting.
(32:29):
Oh my gosh so that they can seewhat really happens to the body.
Oh my gosh, yeah, oh, wow.
And then another is your bodycan be returned to soil.
But in this case they say May21st 2020, washington State
became the first state to allowlegal human composting as a
(32:52):
method of disposition for thedeceased.
If you choose this method, yourbody will naturally decompose
and will become usable soilthat's returned to your family.
The soil can be used to planttrees, start a garden or can be
spread somewhere of yourchoosing.
Mary (33:12):
That makes a lot of sense.
Rebecca Troup (33:13):
Yeah, They'll actually let your body decay
quickly into compost that yourfamily can receive the soil, use
it to plant a garden.
I don't know why not Like itseems funny to you know, to kind
of think about it.
But it's a really good ideabecause I like the fact that we,
(33:34):
we should, I think we shouldreturn the body to the earth,
and that's just one creative wayto do it.
Mary (33:41):
Right and and you're, it's usable, it's, there's no waste.
Rebecca Troup (33:47):
I mean I'm sure people would get weird with it
and say, well, you know, we putthis in our garden or is it sort
of like we're eating our thebody of that was, I don't know?
I mean, I'm sure people couldget weird with it.
Mary (34:00):
Well, you can.
You can do something, you know,if you plant just an oak tree
or something like that.
Rebecca Troup (34:05):
I mean Well.
And two, I mean everything isthere's been a lot going back
into the soil?
I mean dinosaurs right in oursoil, you know so.
It's all edible and you know,in that sense, that if you think
it's repurposed, this is justenergy that is reworking itself,
(34:27):
recycling itself.
So it's not really that body atall.
This is energy that we'retalking about.
That is like when you burn abox.
You know, when you burn a box,the box doesn't go away, it
changes the makeup, right, okay.
And then the last one is youcan become a true oh the box
doesn't go away.
It changes the makeup, right,okay.
And then the last one is youcan become a tree.
Oh no, there's two more, sorry.
(34:47):
You can become a tree, yourbody can become a tree, so the
ashes can be mixed in with soilto grow a tree.
And then the last one is youcan have your ashes sent into
space.
Mary (35:00):
Oh yeah, I've heard about that one.
Rebecca Troup (35:02):
Yeah, I heard about it briefly too, a while
back.
They say so if you prefer toleave our atmosphere and be sent
into the unknown, you canchoose to have your ashes sent
into space with companies likeCelestis, I guess.
So yeah, celestis isC-E-L-E-S-T-I-S and they say you
have multiple options ofplacement and orbit, including
(35:25):
the option to have your remainssent to the moon.
Now, I'm sure that thoseoptions are probably more than
$10,000.
Oh yeah.
Out of my budget, you know youcan't take your money with you
anyway, so why not spend it on asort of like giving it back to
nature?
I mean it is, I mean whateverhappens to it after that.
(35:46):
But yeah, so I mean we haveoptions.
You know we don't have to dothe the tough, sad, long drawn
out funerals, or actually wedon't have to do them because
we're not in our body anymore atthat point and we're just
having to watch the people thatwe knew here go through all of
that.
And I'm sure anybody on theother side is saying to them
(36:11):
honestly, like you don't have todo all this, you don't have to
torture yourselves like this.
If that's what's reallyhappening, because you know from
the other side it's it's easeand love, ease and love.
You know they want to see ushappy, they want to.
If it makes us happy to have afuneral, if it makes us feel
better, maybe even if it soothessomething in us, maybe even if
(36:39):
it soothes something in us,that's fine.
But if it's uncomfortable, ifit's hurtful, if it's really sad
or makes things worse, they'restill going to be fine with it
because we're free, we get to dothis life however we want to,
but they're not going to be onboard with it, like we.
Some people might think, youknow, and I know too, that some
people think if we don't have ashow and we don't feel really
(37:03):
sad, then that soul, who Ibelieve is still living on, will
think I don't care or that Idon't think that their life was
important, which is not accurate, because from the other side,
we don't judge life that way atall.
They know what's in your heart,they know how you feel and
(37:26):
they're okay with it.
However, there's no judgment atall and there's nobody on the
other side as far as I've everconnected with or have learned
that has passed and is thinkingwell, how about that?
They didn't have a big enough,showy enough funeral.
And look at that casket it'sbarely a box.
(37:47):
I guess they don't love me andI guess they don't appreciate
the life that I had there.
There's never that coming fromthe other side there.
There's never that coming fromthe other side.
You know it's just love andrespect for us, with an
understanding that we get caughtup in some ideas here that we
feel obligated to run with, andthat's okay.
(38:09):
But there's still streaming tous the ease that we could choose
instead.
They're still streaming to usthe ease that we could choose
instead.
How do you want your end toplay out when you're, when you
have withdrawn your focus fromyour body?
Have you decided what you want,done after that?
Mary (38:24):
I definitely don't want the big show.
Of course I want my immediatefamily to be able to say goodbye
.
Of course, if they want to goout and have a picnic or a nice
meal or whatever you knowafterwards and reminisce, that's
(38:45):
great.
But I'm for cremation or somekind of natural burial would be
fine.
I don't want to be entombed ina forever box.
I mean preferably, I don't know, I envision being scattered
over Mount Washington orsomething like that, because I
(39:06):
always liked the view.
There you go.
Rebecca Troup (39:09):
And you'll still be able to see that view after
you die, if you want.
Mary (39:12):
This is true, this is true .
Rebecca Troup (39:13):
It will not be unviewable by you.
View after you die.
If you want this, this is true.
This is true.
It will not be unviewable byyou.
My preference is, you know, Ilet my kids know what I think is
a good idea, and then they.
But they can do it however theywant right, yeah you know, my
preference would be short andsweet, whatever fits their
adjustment to me, not focusedthrough my physical body anymore
(39:33):
.
Whatever fits their adjustmentto me, not focused through my
physical body anymore.
Whatever fits the you know theadjustment for them.
That isn't I mean.
I don't even want somethinglike if it's traumatic, like
you're going through thisadjustment, but now you have to
organize this big celebration oflife.
Mary (39:50):
Right.
Rebecca Troup (39:51):
If it's, if it's too much or if it's not, don't
do it.
I've told him I will alwaysknow that you love me.
So whatever you do, however youwant to do it, that's really up
to you.
Find your ease in it.
If you want to do a funeral,even though it wasn't my
preference, do it, because I'mgoing to be on the other side
thinking, okay, hey, if it ringsyour bells, do it.
(40:11):
You know, just like I've hadpeople come to me and say, well,
they didn't do what this lovedone wanted done after the person
died, and that's just terrible.
That's wrong.
And now that person, the soulthat was that person, is
probably very upset, and theyreally aren't.
They're looking for ourhappiness.
They're looking for our joy.
They're looking for what lightsup for us, that's what rings
(40:34):
their bells.
They're looking for our joy.
They're looking for what lightsup for us, that's what brings
their bells.
They're not upset that we don'thonor them or whatever in ways
that we thought, while we werein a human body, were going to
be important.
So if somebody says to you Iwant a big funeral or I want I
don't know, I want to shoot meinto space, or this is what I
want after I pass.
Once they're passed, they'renot tied to any of that anymore,
(40:56):
so you really can do whateveryou want.
It's going to be so much betterand agreed with from the other
side.
If you do it from love, if youdo it because it feels good to
you, because it fits for you, itassists your adjustment process
(41:16):
.
They're all for it.
Mary (41:18):
I think a lot of people fall into the trap of tradition
just what they think everybodyelse expects.
Rebecca Troup (41:27):
And you know it seems like we've been doing this
for a long, long time on thisplanet and you know there are
different cultures that dothings maybe way different than
what we've mentioned here inthis episode, but in any case,
it seems like we have a prettylong history of making a whole
process out of the transitionexperience for the person in the
past, which is, I mean, I thinkit's great in so many ways, but
(41:50):
I do think I agree that onlywhen it feels good, only when
it's really a true Right.
A true I don't even want to callit celebration a true release
or relief or you know moments ofadjustment, Comfort, Comfort,
yeah, For the people here.
So I don't know, Maybe we havesparked some new thoughts and I
(42:16):
think, as we go further into thefuture, I think more and more
people and that's why you'reseeing with you know the article
that I read with differenttypes, different choices, even
more eco-friendly choices.
That's why we're seeing more ofthis, because I really believe
that we're moving more into easeon a lot of things, not just
death and funerals, but I thinkwe're moving more and more into
more natural things, in moreways of ease, and I think it
(42:38):
does feel better to a lot ofpeople to think well, when I
don't need my body anymore, itwill be returned to the earth or
become useful in some manner.
You can donate body parts.
Why not do that?
You don't have to donate thewhole body, but you can donate a
lot of tissue from the body andthen have whatever done.
(43:00):
That you want done, I mean, andI prefer that too that's my
thing to be a donor.
I would much rather somebodybenefit Right From parts of my
body after I'm done with it thanto have it all just chucked
back into the earth or burned orwhatever stuff.
Sure, Take pieces off of it.
You know it's like it's nodifferent than a car.
(43:22):
When you get out of your caryou don't need it anymore.
If you're done with that car,then maybe somebody could use
the tires.
Maybe somebody else needs theengine for their vehicle or
whatever Part it out.
Mary (43:35):
Yeah, yeah, make some use out of it.
Rebecca Troup (43:38):
Because, you know , the human body is a machine,
it's a living, breathing machineand we know that while we're in
it we can have parts replaced.
So why not let some of thoseparts go and help somebody else
when we don't?
Mary (43:51):
need them anymore.
It is amazing, it is so wellyou know, I wish you.
Welcome to the Mystical Truths Podcast.
This is Rebecca, and I'm reallyglad you're here.
Let's unlock your world.
I'd like to welcome back to theshow Mary, who would like to
talk today about funerals.
I really am looking forward tothis topic.
So, Hi, Mary.
Mary (00:27):
Welcome back, Hi.
Thanks for having me.
Rebecca Troup (00:29):
So you had some thoughts about funerals Lik hat
bugs you o
Mary (00:35):
o d y r l?
Okay, well, what really bugs me?
As you know, I've recently hada loved one pass away, but a
couple of months ago my husbandhad a cousin who had passed away
and we went to the funeral homefor t, the viewing and all that
stuff and and I'm thinking, I mI I knew this guy for a long
(00:59):
time but hadn't seen him inyears.
He hated funerals, h, h, h, hewas one that unless it was like
someone who was l super close,he would not go and everybody
kind of always looked down onhim.
or that, myself included, Iwould think, wow, that's kind of
(01:24):
cold.
Well now, I mean I'vecompletely changed my view about
it I.
I can't stand going.
I c s g and you know, I think Itold you this, h last r last
person that I knew that passedaway.
Um, I didn't find out about thefuneral until after the i fact
w and t was.
(01:45):
It was a mixed blessing.
I felt a little bit guiltybecause I didn't go, but
relieved at the same time.
Rebecca Troup (01:55):
Isn't that interesting.
Mary (01:56):
Yeah.
Rebecca Troup (01:57):
And so the, the gentleman that died did, did
they have a funeral for him.
Mary (02:03):
They did have a funeral.
We went to the viewing.
We did not go have a funeral.
We went to the viewing, we didnot go to the funeral.
We both had to work.
Rebecca Troup (02:10):
So, even though he didn't like funerals at all,
was it his decision to have thefuneral before he died?
, o .
n .
was going to say that's kind ofodd that you know he would not
like funerals so much, yet he aallow one to be put together for
him.
Mary (02:29):
The family put it together , his sisters put it together
for him and you know, thereweren't a lot of people there,
but there were a few that cameout of the woodwork that hadn't
also hadn't seen him in yearsand and all I could think was
(02:49):
why it's too late to to talk tohim now.
And I mean, and to be honest,in his later years he had
decided he really didn't want tohave much contact with anybody.
I mean, we had made efforts togo see him and talk to him, but
he, j h, really just he wantedto be alone.
(03:09):
Yeah, yeah.
Rebecca Troup (03:14):
I think we should honor that, if that's really
what people want.
Mary (03:17):
Yeah, yeah.
Rebecca Troup (03:18):
And I find it interesting really that you know
that he just did not likefunerals.
Yet they had one anyway, whichis not necessarily honoring him
or the person that he was.
It was honoring their maybemourning process or the way they
felt that they needed to gothrough that process.
Mary (03:37):
I guess Right, and I mean.
I've always said that funeralsare for the survivors and not
for the person who has passed.
Rebecca Troup (03:47):
Sure, you know, we say that we have the funeral
to honor them and to take timeto remember them, to come
together, which is all great.
But two, it's for the peoplethat are still alive.
Because we like ceremoniesUsually we like to make a big
deal out of things.
It may help people go throughthat grieving process, but then
(04:11):
also it may even make it worse.
In my opinion, because I'venever been a fan of funerals and
I've had many, especially whenI was younger a lot of family
members dying off and whatnot,and I always thought, you know,
this is just invited torture.
In my opinion, because, yes, itgives you some closure, it
(04:33):
gives you you can actually seethe dead body and know that the
person is not in it anymore.
But I mean, why not just haveone or two people see the dead
body and then just telleverybody else I saw the dead
body?
It's really, you know thisperson's really dead, right only
because it what a process it isand an expense and it's.
(04:55):
It's a lot of drama and it's alot of pain.
You know, once the more Istarted to learn about the death
process and after death and allof that, I was actually excited
going to funerals because I wastoo able to really tap into what
was really going on and wsometimes sense . energy w of
that soul there.
(05:15):
And I had to watch becauseafter I really started to get
this, then the next couplefunerals I went to I had a smile
on my face.
I'm just really loving thewhole thought that this person
is done with the physicalexperience and no longer
physically focused.
It felt a w and I thought, oh,I have to really watch myself
(05:36):
because people are going tothink that's disrespectful and
that I don't honor.
You know what y call their loss.
And I remember o growing upseeing all kinds of drama at
funerals people just throwingthemselves over the body and why
did you do this to me?
(05:57):
Or just days of sorrow andfeeling really bad about the
death experience and the whole.
It's part of life.
You know this is something thatwe have the opportunity to
watch animals and insects andpeople come and go, come and go
while we're still here that thisis all temporary and that the
(06:24):
animals just show us in and out.
They come in and out, in andout.
This is not a big dramatic thing.
And when we start funerals, tounderstand what's really going
on for the ", we're excitedabout one coming in and we're
really excited about one that'swithdrawing focus.
And people say, well, I know my, you know my mother or my aunt,
(06:45):
whatever, I know that they'reokay, they're in a better place,
why not?
People hope that, I think, andmaybe they, maybe they found a
way to really know that.
So at that point, what are wereally doing then?
Do we think they're okay?
We believe they're okay, butnow we have to get used to the
(07:05):
adjustment.
Right, and we can do that muchmore easily if we don't make it
a big, awful, terrible deal.
And that's why so many peopledon't like funerals, because
it's it's not easy being at afuneral.
First of all, nobody reallywants to be there.
No, you feel obligated to bethere and you're walking into w
(07:27):
a where you have y.
k Whether m you feel like it ornot, you have to be.
There are certain rules, right.
You w can n hook up onlinefuneral etiquette.
You know the things theythat m t or shouldn't do, say
whatever at funerals, because wehave set these rules or D w, t
and t I o get it that.
It's to be respectful and tohonor, you know, somebody i
(07:49):
else's process or theirreligious beliefs or whatever it
might be, and that's, you know,we should N all ou this,
however we want to do it, but I,to me, it just is hether a lot
of unnecessary pain or justuncomfortableness.
Even if people aren'tnecessarily mourning the person,
it's still very lookuncomfortable and then we all
(08:10):
gather together with our sadenergy and expect that to help
somehow, and it doesn't help.
I think the more people learnabout what life is like outside
of this life, I think we wouldbe much more prone to celebrate
the person's life and get a loteasier about life and death.
(08:33):
You know, I was looking at,just looking up a few ideas, you
know, about the, because Ithought, yeah, what about the
funeral stuff?
You know what about it?
it's one of the first things Ijust happened to come across
online was this video of a manin a casket talking about how to
select a casket, and he saidyou know, you really should
(08:56):
choose wisely, because this isyour loved one's forever bed.
It's where they'll rest foreternity.
And then he said it's creepy,yeah.
And then he said, or at creepy,yeah.
And then he said, or, at leastuntil the Lord comes back.
So choose wisely, because, also, this is going to be the casket
that everyone else will see.
Oh, my goodness and I thoughtwow, what, what, the forever bed
(09:19):
you know, it's not . foreverbed.
You could that you y could ksay it is, but it's a dead body.
Right, it's literally a deadbody.
It doesn't need pillows, itdoesn't need a fancy box, even
it's okay if you want to do that, but to me I would prefer that
we give it back to the earth.
(09:40):
Why would we think that weshould take the body that
somebody was in and put it insometimes a very expensive box
or monument of some type andleave it there forever, why?
And then we can go and visitthat which may help us feel more
(10:02):
connected to the person thatwas in A You know, everybody has
their own relationship they'renot in that body, they don't
belong with that body anymore.
And then I wondered if that manwas saying you know, put them
in their forever bed, make itnice, make it comfortable, pick
(10:24):
it out so everybody else thinksit's a good choice, or that you,
this person, was important, orwhatever that is Like you're
buying a car.
Yeah, and then I thought sountil the Lord comes back t So
bed?
you k know It's , I thought,yeah, Y well c what ou about the
embalming process?
Now, I know the Lord can doanything, but if you think about
it, there's so much done tothat body.
Mary (10:49):
It's not like, oh my gosh, well.
Well, my biggest thought is,especially with a, you know, a
traditional casket burialembalming the whole bit, do you
really want to think of yourloved one being planted in the
ground like that, like entombedforever?
Rebecca Troup (11:06):
Yeah, Like if I could see through the walls, if
I S t through t dirt eah in thewalls of the casket.
I can see that body laying"Lord, decaying, yeah, yeah.
Mary (11:15):
Yeah, it's to o m.
g It's w and it and it alwayshas been horrifying to me to
even think about that.
I mean, my preference iscremation and scatter me
somewhere.
I want to be free.
Rebecca Troup (11:34):
Well, you know, doing that would save a lot of
people in the past from wakingup in a casket in the ground,
because that's happened manytimes.
That's why they used to havethe bells, like the little bells
.
Mary (11:42):
Yes, i, yes, yes, oh Lord.
a That's i why they used to havethe bells, like the little
bells.
Rebecca Troup (11:44):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, would've saved, you know
it's just funny what we do outof, I don't know, fear,
tradition, honoring somebody.
And in the first videoeventually used used came to on
like the funeral bell i .
, the embalming and whatnot,because I remembered in the long
time ago I saw a documentarythat was done about some
students that were going toschool, you know, to mortuary
(12:07):
school, and I remember themsaying this is a, this is quite
a process, and they were showingthe different, some of the
different steps and they said wehave to wash the body, like
every single piece of the bodythat we can get to, because of
the decay process.
And I thought so.
Does anybody really think aboutthe fact?
(12:28):
No, you're dead, you don't as asoul, you don't care what
anybody does with your body, butso when you leave your body,
you're giving your body to somepeople.
Maybe you know them, maybe thefuneral director is your
neighbor or, you know, lives inyour town, and now your naked
body is on that table and everypiece that they can get to needs
to be even under thefingernails, in between the
(12:50):
folds of places, and all thathas to be cleaned out really
well.
And he showed all thesechemicals.
The video I found was a man whowas special permission.
Usually you're not allowed inthe l, but since this is a video
, I got special permission thatwe can do this.
So he's showing all of theseinstruments and eye caps and,
(13:12):
like the things they do to likemake the face look the way it
should, as best they can,because it's dying.
You know, the body, after thesoul leaves it takes a while for
the body to actually die.
So yeah.
So they not y have y to o L all,but then of course they have to
drain the blood, they have toput particular fluids into the A
(13:36):
.
n And it was just watching thisprocess.
l they we was he was using adummy like a fake i, t but he
said we even have to puncturethe hollow organs and drain them
and then insert cavity fluid.
And so all of this done, andespecially even the hair, the
makeup, eventually, after allthis preservation and removal of
(14:00):
certain things has happened,then they dress the body and put
it in the pretty box and leavehalf of the box open so that
everybody can see.
And he said they usually dohave pants on or whatever oes on
the bottom, but usually a N oftimes no shoes and I thought
sure, because we don't reallyneed shoes, they're not running
(14:20):
off anywhere nobody.
Nobody's going to see them everDonate them.
But so you know, I thoughtthat's just a whole lot of stuff
.
Personally, I'm going for thecremation or a couple other
things that we'll talk about.
Mary (14:35):
Not that there's a good funeral, but the best funeral
that I had ever been to was mybrother.
He passed away and he knew hewas, his health wasn't great.
He pre-planned everything andit's a little odd for me because
I never got to see him.
(14:56):
They just they took him fromwhere he passed away to the
funeral home and he was crematedright away.
I never saw the body.
It's just because everyone elsethat I've ever had to deal with
in that regard I saw the body.
I didn't see his, but in someways it was a lot better.
(15:21):
He just had a little memorialservice at the funeral home and
then we went to lunch after andthat was it.
I mean, it was like it waseverything total was over within
like four hours and it was alot less traumatic, I They're
say that which helps n healingprocess, the grieving, Right, if
(15:42):
there is any.
my, it was the whole shebang.
It was two days viewing churchservice, watching the casket go
into the ground, the whole.
I have vibrant memories of thatand it's not good.
Rebecca Troup (16:02):
It really isn't.
I think it teaches kids to makea horrible scene out of death
in a big, tragic, sad, longdrawn out process.
And I always say I'm fine withhowever anybody wants to do it.
It's up to them.
But for me, you know, that'sjust the way I view it and I
just I'm up for if anybody wantsto see my body when I died,
(16:27):
that's fine.
I go ahead and look at it.
If it helps you get thatclosure.
I'm going to have somebody on anepisode fairly soon who did
need to see her husband.
She wasn't with him when hepassed and I can't wait to tell
that story because when she didsee him there was a huge piece
of information there that thathelped her and just it's just
(16:51):
pretty.
I don't even want to give itaway, it's just really, really
cool.
And so there's that.
You know, if you want to see it, see it.
If you really don't feel likeyou need to see the body, then
don't.
But for me there will be nolaying out process.
I don't need to be laid out.
I don't need people to come andhonor my life or help my family
(17:14):
or whatever in that way,because that to me is just hard,
just hard.
I would much rather and my kidsalready know have me cremated,
unless I choose one of the othercouple things we're going to
talk about here, but have mejust taken care of in that sense
, and then, just if you want to,I don't, I'm not even going to
tell them to do this.
Celebrate my life, do.
(17:37):
However you want to do that Ifyou want to just sit and talk
about some things.
that's fine, a and talk aboutsome things, that's fine.
If you want to have a group ofpeople together, that's fine too
, because that's for you.
At that point, whatever youneed to do to make it a happy
occasion, j I h will be there.
I'll totally be there for itknow, but I won't be in my body,
(17:58):
and you're just going to haveto get used to that, because
that's what we have to do here.
We have to get used to thereality of life does go on, yes,
even when we're not physicallyfocused anymore.
Mary (18:11):
I totally get the close family..
If like husbands, wives, sons,moms, dads, close knit family.
Absolutely.
I do believe they should beable to see them.
You know, briefly, but that,like you said, the whole process
, the whole being laid out andhaving people that haven't seen
(18:34):
you in 10 years, that are justlike curious.
Rebecca Troup (18:38):
You know, you know, but yeah, and a even like
I mean, we have religiousfunerals, non-religious, with a
celebration of life.
There are green funerals, whereeverything about the body and
how it's taken care of afterthat is biodegradable.
Yes, um, there are gravesiteservices without the whole
laying the body out thing.
There you can can do burial atsea, which can be ashes or the
(19:02):
whole body, depending on whereyou can get permission.
And then there are there's a, Iguess, a whole o of the home
funeral experience.
There is a national homefuneral alliance.
I watched a video of a few womenfrom that alliance and it's a.
They've got a full website, allthe instructions.
There's all kinds of materialresources on there, even the
(19:24):
legalities behind it.
But in this video they showedthe process that they are
trained to go through to help afamily have a home funeral, and
what they do is they wash thewhole body because they're not
going to embalm it, so the bodyis going to decay quickly, so,
so this can't be anything.
And they even gave youinformation on, like outdoor
(19:45):
temperature or indoortemperature, like how not to let
weird things happen with thebody.
And so they wash it, theyprepare it in certain ways, they
use herbs and things like thatto keep the smell decent.
Mary (20:01):
Right, right y.
k
Rebecca Troup (20:03):
And they suggest that even the family wash the
body.
It's like a ceremony where thefamily can kids included, if you
want, can wash the body andtell stories as you see a scar
here or calluses on the hand.
It just brings up stories andeven laughter if, like some body
(20:24):
fluids or air escapes from thebody while you're in the process
.
They're like humor can be apart of this and I thought it
was kind of cool.
But I thought, okay, but again,I don't want my family washing
my body, not for any otherreason, that if I had to wash my
parents' body after they died,I don't know I could do it.
(20:44):
But I just don't.
Like, why, like, why?
Why?
You know what.
Let's just hire you.
You know, we can hire you towash the body Because they wrap
it, they put clothes on it andthen they wrap it in a shroud
and put flowers on top, and you,you know, then the family can
come in and do whatever theywant to do, you know, ceremony,
(21:04):
or just say goodbye or whatever.
But this is done at home and Ithought, well, that's sure, why
not?
I mean, if that's what worksfor somebody, that's another
option.
Um, but it would have to be akind of quick one oh, yeah, I
also also came across thisarticle of 74 ways to never say
(21:26):
die.
And so instead you say like pastor perished, or on the other
side, resting in peace, or theperson unalived themselves.
And I had to read it I'm likeunalived themselves, and I had
to re-dig it I'm like unalivedthemselves, which is what you
(21:46):
say if somebody commits suicidethe person unalived themselves.
And I thought so can't we justsay like they died and that they
committed, like they justkilled themselves?
You don't have to say committedsuicide, because it sounds like
that's just weird.
But they took their own life,they ended their own life, they
chose to leave and withdrawfocus from the body.
(22:07):
They did it on purpose, because, again, we don't have to make
that a big hairy deal either.
Mary (22:12):
Right.
Rebecca Troup (22:13):
Because maybe if we didn't, people passed
wouldn't do it in ways that arekind of extreme and hard for the
family to see.
But I feel that if somebodywants to voluntarily leave this
we have complete freedom to dothat.
(22:34):
We're not in any trouble for it.
It's not a horrible idea.
It also is not the best option.
A horrible idea.
It also is not the best optionbecause, generally speaking,
once that happens, the soulwithdraws focus and then sort of
has thoughts along the lines ofoh, like I was that far into
that life, I probably could havedone some things and approached
(22:57):
it a different way, and maybe Ishould have just stuck that out
.
But it's not, it's it's.
There's no guilt there, thoughyou know.
There's no like feeling likeyou're in trouble.
It's just a realization of,well, you know what.
I probably could have gonefurther with that, but I didn't.
Mary (23:13):
Yeah.
Rebecca Troup (23:13):
Now I see what that has caused, maybe for other
people, but I think we also seethat the reason why it torments
other people is because oftheir own beliefs about death
and dying.
So that has to be consideredtoo.
You know, whether somebody diesnaturally or they take their
own life, what that does to thepeople still here in bodies is
(23:36):
not on the soul left.
That's on us.
You know what we do with it andhow that torments us or
compliments us going forward.
That's really on us and there'salways going to be, I'm sure,
an adjustment for anybody,depending on how much that
person affected your life day today.
There will be an adjustmentwith that change, but it doesn't
(23:57):
have to be so painful and sosad and as awful as we've made
it out to be.
And then, like you said, havinga funeral on top of that just
drags it out.
So I thought what are the otheroptions today?
You know, to just thatembalming and put the body in a
(24:18):
box and whether you have alayout or not, what are the
options there?
The body in a box and whetheryou have a layout or not, what
are the options there?
And so some of the other onesare to go green, which means
let's see so in the green burialprocess.
It's foregoing the embalmingand it's even certified by a
green burial council in which itsays the use of biodegradable
(24:43):
burial containers or shroud, Iguess, are given to the family.
So it's yeah, basically, if thebody is embalmed, they use
environmentally friendlyproducts, and then the container
that the body or the remainsare put in would be
biodegradable as well.
So everything about that, evenif the person has clothes or
(25:05):
whatever, everything has to bebiodegradable or the body has
clothes Makes sense.
And then there's rest at sea.
They say it's originally usedor was originally used primarily
for those who died whileserving, like in the Navy.
But interest in full bodyburials at sea is increasing,
mainly because of theeco-friendly nature of it.
Mary (25:26):
Right.
Rebecca Troup (25:27):
Because some people just have a real
connection to the sea.
So in this case the body wouldbe put overboard in a
biodegradable weighted shroudand, I guess, just left to
nature which is fine, and theysay that can cost upwards of
$10,000.
Mary (25:44):
Oh wow, really Wow, that seems pricey.
Rebecca Troup (25:48):
It is just to like be put in something and
dumped.
Mary (25:51):
Right, because you're not going through all the embalming
process and any of that.
You think it would be cheaper.
Rebecca Troup (26:00):
Well, there probably are legalities that you
have to go through and pay forand all that kind of stuff, I'm
sure.
And then you can liquefyyourself.
Well, you can liquefy, you canhave your body liquefied, all
right, that's gross.
They describe this one asalkaline hydrolysis is emerging
(26:21):
as a new alternative tocremation.
The process involves submerginga body in a heated alkali
solution of potassium hydroxide.
This mimics the body's naturalprocess of breaking down, but
takes only a few hours insteadof many years.
Alkaline hydrolysis is alsorecognized as a greener
alternative, using a fraction ofthe energy of a standard
(26:44):
cremation.
So I guess you just have to.
It's legal in at least 15states, but you'd have to check
your state to make sure youcould liquefy yourself.
Mary (26:53):
Sounds like something from the Sopranos or something.
Rebecca Troup (26:57):
Or Roger Rabbit.
Mary (26:59):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rebecca Troup (27:01):
A fourth one is and some of these are really
cool.
I think a lot of us know aboutthis one.
The fourth one is you cancontribute the body to modern
medicine to help doctors learn,you know, as they're going
through school, which is areally nice idea.
When I was in the medicalprofession I would take classes
occasionally down to Oakland tothe medical lab, where we were
(27:22):
able to do that.
We were able to see jars oflike different body parts and
then sometimes they'd have abody there and they are a couple
of bodies, and they would showus the processes.
They were, their stages.
Maybe they were at of sort ofopening up the body and looking
and learning.
I don't know if you're allowedto do that anymore, though.
Here's another one you can useyour body to help fight crime.
By donating your body to aforensic research facility, you
(27:46):
can help teach studentsimportant factors about body
decomposition and influence,guidance given to police for
evaluating crime scenes, whichmeans you can be helping
professionals solve real crimes.
So they say, similar todonating your body to a medical
school, you give it to, I guess,law enforcement, and in certain
states it's not in every state,so that's kind of why I never
(28:09):
thought about the fact that youcould donate your body to
forensic research, to helpprofessionals learn about.
Mary (28:18):
I never would have thought learn about.
I never would have thought.
Rebecca Troup (28:21):
And all of this is from the website everlovedcom
.
Another one is, and this one Ireally like.
I don't know if I'm going to dothis one, but I really like it.
You can become art, yeah, itsays.
Oh, if you're, it gets reallygood.
Though it's not weird, becausewhen I first saw that I thought,
(28:43):
oh, okay, is this like where weuse menstrual blood to create
art on a?
Mary (28:48):
thing, as I've seen the body's exposition that they it
was running here for a while Ithink it was at the science
center, um, and I guess it's atraveling thing.
I've not that I ever went to it.
Um, and I guess it's atraveling thing.
I've not that I ever went to it.
But is that what they'retalking about?
Something like that.
Like, I guess they use actualcadavers and they, like I don't
(29:09):
know, they pose them.
I don't know how.
I've never been so it was.
Rebecca Troup (29:13):
Yeah, that must be, because the website that
they link on here is called bodyworlds.
So I looked it up and it'sreally fascinating.
They have had, as of January ofthis year, well over 21,000
bodies donated to them and theyuse a process called
(29:34):
plastination.
So I mean you can look upbodyworldscom if anybody wants
to really read about it further.
But it's a very long drawn outprocess.
It takes about a year.
But they go through differentmeasures to remove skin and
fatty tissue.
Resin was one of the thingsthat they use in part of this
process too, but they have toinject stuff that gets into like
(29:56):
every single cell.
So they do first what's calledfixation and anatomical
dissection, which is taking awaythe skin and the fatty tissue
They've got to get bacteria outof the way and then the removal
of any excess extra body fatafter that process, and then
water.
They have to remove water fromthe body.
(30:18):
And then there's what they callenforced impregnation, which
the specimen is placed in a bathof liquid polymer, such as
silicon, rubber or epoxy resin,and by creating a vacuum, the
acetone boils at a lowtemperature.
As the acetone vaporizes andleaves the cells, it draws the
(30:39):
liquid polymer in, so thepolymer can penetrate every cell
and then they position thecells.
It draws the liquid polymer in,so the polymer can penetrate
every cell and then theyposition the body because it's
still pliable at this point.
So since the body is stillmovable, they can put it into
these interesting positions.
And they say they really haveto know their anatomy to make
(31:00):
sure that they are placing thebody in a way that it actually
would stretch or bend orwhatever, and then they have a
curing process which hardens itthen and it stays in that
position.
However they may position it assomebody, sort of in a running
position or in a sittingthinking position.
So I like that your body canbecome real art.
(31:24):
And this is all over the world.
By the way, they havestationary like that's a
traveling thing that you weretalking about, but they have
stationary museums that you cango to and see these collections.
It almost sounds like a waxmuseum In a sense, yeah, and
they say that this was reallysomebody's body, though like
they didn't just create this andit looks really good, this what
(31:46):
you're looking at.
Somebody lived in this body,wow.
And then they have other partsalmost like taxidermy yeah,
without the skin and the fattytissue.
They have animal exhibits too.
They even have like body part,like the heart, you know, so
that people and this is even formedical students too can learn
by looking directly at a realheart that's just been preserved
(32:08):
to just sort of stand in air sothat it can be viewed in 3D.
Another thing you can do ismake cars safer.
Never thought about this oneeither.
Apparently, since, like 19, the1930s bodies have been donated
to researchers to do crashtesting.
(32:29):
Oh my gosh so that they can seewhat really happens to the body.
Oh my gosh, yeah, oh, wow.
And then another is your bodycan be returned to soil.
But in this case they say May21st 2020, washington State
became the first state to allowlegal human composting as a
(32:52):
method of disposition for thedeceased.
If you choose this method, yourbody will naturally decompose
and will become usable soilthat's returned to your family.
The soil can be used to planttrees, start a garden or can be
spread somewhere of yourchoosing.
Mary (33:12):
That makes a lot of sense.
Rebecca Troup (33:13):
Yeah, They'll actually let your body decay
quickly into compost that yourfamily can receive the soil, use
it to plant a garden.
I don't know why not Like itseems funny to you know, to kind
of think about it.
But it's a really good ideabecause I like the fact that we,
(33:34):
we should, I think we shouldreturn the body to the earth,
and that's just one creative wayto do it.
Mary (33:41):
Right and and you're, it's usable, it's, there's no waste.
Rebecca Troup (33:47):
I mean I'm sure people would get weird with it
and say, well, you know, we putthis in our garden or is it sort
of like we're eating our thebody of that was, I don't know?
I mean, I'm sure people couldget weird with it.
Mary (34:00):
Well, you can.
You can do something, you know,if you plant just an oak tree
or something like that.
Rebecca Troup (34:05):
I mean Well.
And two, I mean everything isthere's been a lot going back
into the soil?
I mean dinosaurs right in oursoil, you know so.
It's all edible and you know,in that sense, that if you think
it's repurposed, this is justenergy that is reworking itself,
(34:27):
recycling itself.
So it's not really that body atall.
This is energy that we'retalking about.
That is like when you burn abox.
You know, when you burn a box,the box doesn't go away, it
changes the makeup, right, okay.
And then the last one is youcan become a true oh the box
doesn't go away.
It changes the makeup, right,okay.
And then the last one is youcan become a tree.
Oh no, there's two more, sorry.
(34:47):
You can become a tree, yourbody can become a tree, so the
ashes can be mixed in with soilto grow a tree.
And then the last one is youcan have your ashes sent into
space.
Mary (35:00):
Oh yeah, I've heard about that one.
Rebecca Troup (35:02):
Yeah, I heard about it briefly too, a while
back.
They say so if you prefer toleave our atmosphere and be sent
into the unknown, you canchoose to have your ashes sent
into space with companies likeCelestis, I guess.
So yeah, celestis isC-E-L-E-S-T-I-S and they say you
have multiple options ofplacement and orbit, including
(35:25):
the option to have your remainssent to the moon.
Now, I'm sure that thoseoptions are probably more than
$10,000.
Oh yeah.
Out of my budget, you know youcan't take your money with you
anyway, so why not spend it on asort of like giving it back to
nature?
I mean it is, I mean whateverhappens to it after that.
(35:46):
But yeah, so I mean we haveoptions.
You know we don't have to dothe the tough, sad, long drawn
out funerals, or actually wedon't have to do them because
we're not in our body anymore atthat point and we're just
having to watch the people thatwe knew here go through all of
that.
And I'm sure anybody on theother side is saying to them
(36:11):
honestly, like you don't have todo all this, you don't have to
torture yourselves like this.
If that's what's reallyhappening, because you know from
the other side it's it's easeand love, ease and love.
You know they want to see ushappy, they want to.
If it makes us happy to have afuneral, if it makes us feel
better, maybe even if it soothessomething in us, maybe even if
(36:39):
it soothes something in us,that's fine.
But if it's uncomfortable, ifit's hurtful, if it's really sad
or makes things worse, they'restill going to be fine with it
because we're free, we get to dothis life however we want to,
but they're not going to be onboard with it, like we.
Some people might think, youknow, and I know too, that some
people think if we don't have ashow and we don't feel really
(37:03):
sad, then that soul, who Ibelieve is still living on, will
think I don't care or that Idon't think that their life was
important, which is not accurate, because from the other side,
we don't judge life that way atall.
They know what's in your heart,they know how you feel and
(37:26):
they're okay with it.
However, there's no judgment atall and there's nobody on the
other side as far as I've everconnected with or have learned
that has passed and is thinkingwell, how about that?
They didn't have a big enough,showy enough funeral.
And look at that casket it'sbarely a box.
(37:47):
I guess they don't love me andI guess they don't appreciate
the life that I had there.
There's never that coming fromthe other side there.
There's never that coming fromthe other side.
You know it's just love andrespect for us, with an
understanding that we get caughtup in some ideas here that we
feel obligated to run with, andthat's okay.
(38:09):
But there's still streaming tous the ease that we could choose
instead.
They're still streaming to usthe ease that we could choose
instead.
How do you want your end toplay out when you're, when you
have withdrawn your focus fromyour body?
Have you decided what you want,done after that?
Mary (38:24):
I definitely don't want the big show.
Of course I want my immediatefamily to be able to say goodbye
.
Of course, if they want to goout and have a picnic or a nice
meal or whatever you knowafterwards and reminisce, that's
(38:45):
great.
But I'm for cremation or somekind of natural burial would be
fine.
I don't want to be entombed ina forever box.
I mean preferably, I don't know, I envision being scattered
over Mount Washington orsomething like that, because I
(39:06):
always liked the view.
There you go.
Rebecca Troup (39:09):
And you'll still be able to see that view after
you die, if you want.
Mary (39:12):
This is true, this is true .
Rebecca Troup (39:13):
It will not be unviewable by you.
View after you die.
If you want this, this is true.
This is true.
It will not be unviewable byyou.
My preference is, you know, Ilet my kids know what I think is
a good idea, and then they.
But they can do it however theywant right, yeah you know, my
preference would be short andsweet, whatever fits their
adjustment to me, not focusedthrough my physical body anymore
(39:33):
.
Whatever fits their adjustmentto me, not focused through my
physical body anymore.
Whatever fits the you know theadjustment for them.
That isn't I mean.
I don't even want somethinglike if it's traumatic, like
you're going through thisadjustment, but now you have to
organize this big celebration oflife.
Mary (39:50):
Right.
Rebecca Troup (39:51):
If it's, if it's too much or if it's not, don't
do it.
I've told him I will alwaysknow that you love me.
So whatever you do, however youwant to do it, that's really up
to you.
Find your ease in it.
If you want to do a funeral,even though it wasn't my
preference, do it, because I'mgoing to be on the other side
thinking, okay, hey, if it ringsyour bells, do it.
(40:11):
You know, just like I've hadpeople come to me and say, well,
they didn't do what this lovedone wanted done after the person
died, and that's just terrible.
That's wrong.
And now that person, the soulthat was that person, is
probably very upset, and theyreally aren't.
They're looking for ourhappiness.
They're looking for our joy.
They're looking for what lightsup for us, that's what rings
(40:34):
their bells.
They're looking for our joy.
They're looking for what lightsup for us, that's what brings
their bells.
They're not upset that we don'thonor them or whatever in ways
that we thought, while we werein a human body, were going to
be important.
So if somebody says to you Iwant a big funeral or I want I
don't know, I want to shoot meinto space, or this is what I
want after I pass.
Once they're passed, they'renot tied to any of that anymore,
(40:56):
so you really can do whateveryou want.
It's going to be so much betterand agreed with from the other
side.
If you do it from love, if youdo it because it feels good to
you, because it fits for you, itassists your adjustment process
(41:16):
.
They're all for it.
Mary (41:18):
I think a lot of people fall into the trap of tradition
just what they think everybodyelse expects.
Rebecca Troup (41:27):
And you know it seems like we've been doing this
for a long, long time on thisplanet and you know there are
different cultures that dothings maybe way different than
what we've mentioned here inthis episode, but in any case,
it seems like we have a prettylong history of making a whole
process out of the transitionexperience for the person in the
past, which is, I mean, I thinkit's great in so many ways, but
(41:50):
I do think I agree that onlywhen it feels good, only when
it's really a true Right.
A true I don't even want to callit celebration a true release
or relief or you know moments ofadjustment, Comfort, Comfort,
yeah, For the people here.
So I don't know, Maybe we havesparked some new thoughts and I
(42:16):
think, as we go further into thefuture, I think more and more
people and that's why you'reseeing with you know the article
that I read with differenttypes, different choices, even
more eco-friendly choices.
That's why we're seeing more ofthis, because I really believe
that we're moving more into easeon a lot of things, not just
death and funerals, but I thinkwe're moving more and more into
more natural things, in moreways of ease, and I think it
(42:38):
does feel better to a lot ofpeople to think well, when I
don't need my body anymore, itwill be returned to the earth or
become useful in some manner.
You can donate body parts.
Why not do that?
You don't have to donate thewhole body, but you can donate a
lot of tissue from the body andthen have whatever done.
(43:00):
That you want done, I mean, andI prefer that too that's my
thing to be a donor.
I would much rather somebodybenefit Right From parts of my
body after I'm done with it thanto have it all just chucked
back into the earth or burned orwhatever stuff.
Sure, Take pieces off of it.
You know it's like it's nodifferent than a car.
(43:22):
When you get out of your caryou don't need it anymore.
If you're done with that car,then maybe somebody could use
the tires.
Maybe somebody else needs theengine for their vehicle or
whatever Part it out.
Mary (43:35):
Yeah, yeah, make some use out of it.
Rebecca Troup (43:38):
Because, you know , the human body is a machine,
it's a living, breathing machineand we know that while we're in
it we can have parts replaced.
So why not let some of thoseparts go and help somebody else
when we don't?
Mary (43:51):
need them anymore.
It is amazing, it is so wellyou know, I wish you.
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