May 2, 2024 • 47 mins
Today's conversation with Kimberly Aluise takes an amusing look at signing off from a physical life experience, just because we can. No fear, no escapism, no distress. Just a calm readiness that speaks volumes. We lightheartedly explore the extraordinary ease that two of her grandparents exhibited (years apart) as they independently decided to do the unusual, just die. Neither was considered terminal. Each was very "fixable" but knew that "fixable" was not their next step, so they let go and quickly withdrew from this lifetime. How easy is that!?
The best part is, our recording was interrupted by a clear sign that her grandparents were in the conversation with us. How fun is that!?
Kimberly's grandfather was a World War II veteran whose staunch resolution to meet death on his own terms challenges us to consider the autonomy we each hold over our destiny. His story, along with the tranquil passing of her step-(related)-grandmother will leave you to ponder the essence of a 'good death'—one marked by humor, dignity, and ease. Tuning in, you might find yourself reflecting on your own beliefs about life's final chapter and the peace that can come from a departure that honors an individual's wishes.
Listen in as Kimberly shares her tender but humorous experience of hearing two different people say, "I know my condition can be treated, but actually, I'm good to go."
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rebecca@mysticaltruths.com
A big Thank You to CreativeCommons.org
Audiorezout. 14.Be Happy.mp3 for the music.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome to the Mystical Truths Podcast.
This is Rebecca, and I'm reallyglad you're here.
Let's unlock your world.
There are two sections to thisshow that I normally would have
edited out, but I left inbecause this is not the first
time that the show has beeninterrupted with a sign from
(00:28):
Spirit.
So it's fun, it's interesting.
The first is when we actuallyhad the interruption.
The second is when I told Kimthat I was going to go ahead and
leave that in, so I thoughtthat part of the conversation
should be left in too.
So check it out.
Here we go On today's show.
I invited Kimberly Aloise tocome on and talk about her
(00:51):
grandparents passing, because wegot into a conversation about
her grandmother passing, hergrandfather passing and I just
found it really interesting thatthere was so much ease and
understanding in the passing.
So welcome, Kimberly.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Hi Rebecca, Thanks for having me.
I'm glad you're here.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
So tell us, take us to sort of the beginning.
You had power of attorney foryour grandmother.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
So, yeah, and my grandfather, yeah, for a really
long time.
So this is my paternalgrandparents, my dad's parents,
and just to give like a littlebit of background, my
grandmother was actually my stepgrandmother, so biologically
she was my great aunt.
When my biological grandmotherdied she was very young.
(01:45):
Her name was Marietta, so I'lljust refer to her as Marietta
because that makes it lessconfusing when I'm saying
grandma.
But when Marietta died she wasvery young.
She had children still at homeand she knew my grandfather
would remarry again.
So for her, from herperspective, her and her sister
(02:06):
were very, very close and shehad asked my grandmother to
marry her husband after she diedso that someone would be able
to take care of her children.
And can you?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
explain to them, explain to all of us, why that
was so important then.
Because today maybe not so much, but why was it such a big deal
?
She knew she was going to die.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
She wanted her sister to marry her husband Because,
yeah, my grandfather was a veryI mean, it was a long time ago.
So back then, you know, mygrandfather wasn't about to take
care of the children and cleanand cook and do all those
household things.
He, in his mind, had to have awoman and my grandmother feared
(02:52):
that he would take whichever onecame his way and she
desperately wanted to make surethat her children had someone
that actually loved them andwould take care of them.
So, yeah, I mean that's, and myMarietta wanted that.
And then my grandmother she wasalready pushing 40 or 40.
(03:13):
She was unmarried.
So she basically did it for hersister and the kids.
I mean, she got married to mygrandfather.
She wasn't in love with him.
He wasn't in love with her.
They did have a very difficultlife together.
She did.
She had a difficult life withhim, but yeah, so that's kind of
the background of it.
So she technically she's mystep grandmother, but she is
(03:35):
biologically related to me.
Yeah, I know a lot of peoplehad a really, really hard time
with it and their familyactually sort of really
struggled with it.
They ended up actually movinglike three hours north of here
and lived there most of my lifebecause it was just easier than
dealing with all the judgmentfrom everybody.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Because they married pretty quickly, right.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Yeah, they married pretty quickly.
They stayed here for a while.
It was like six months afterMarietta died that they got
married, because at that pointmy grandfather said that my
step-grandmother could not keepcoming over to the house because
people were going to starttalking, and so that's when they
said, well, okay, we'll justmake this official now, because
(04:22):
six months have gone by whateverbecause we it's.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
You know, six months have gone by, whatever, so they
did stay living here probablyabout six, six or so years,
before they finally did moveaway a little bit which is
really interesting, because backthen everybody knew that a lot
of the men had to have a womanif they had children, because,
like you mentioned to me beforewhen, when we talked that you
know he would even need her toget him a cup of coffee, or you
(04:50):
know, just wasn't the guy thatcontributed a lot to the family.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah, he was very difficult.
He was difficult for mybiological grandmother as well
as my step grandmother.
He was a difficult man.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
So it's funny that you know grandmother he was a
difficult man.
So it's funny that you knowback in that day a lot of people
understood or would have, Ithink, understood if they really
knew the story why thatsituation occurred.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
but yet they were judging them.
I think there was a lot ofembarrassment behind it all for
everybody.
In a lot of ways, that kind ofstuff did happen a lot back in
the day, you know.
I mean, I've researched myfamily genealogy back hundreds
and hundreds of years and,believe you me, if a spouse died
, the remaining spouse remarriedvery quickly.
(05:36):
It was a necessity really in alot of ways, you know back then.
So, yeah, I didn't find outuntil much much later in life.
I always had an inkling Um,marietta died before I was even
born, but I always had aninkling that there, that this is
(05:57):
something that Marietta wanted.
And later on in life, my, mystep-grandmother did confirm
that.
They had had a talk about itand she really did this for her
sister and for the kids, and shetook a lot of heat.
A lot of people really were notnice to her about it.
So it is tough, but, yeah.
(06:17):
So, year, years pass and atthis point, 2011, my dad had
passed away and by that point,my grandfather had had four
children.
My step-grandmother did nothave any biological children of
her own.
She just had her nieces, or herniece and nephews, as her
stepchildren.
And by this point in 2011, whenmy dad passed away, by that
(06:42):
point they had already buriedthree of their children.
So their three sons had alreadydied.
Their daughter was still alive,but they had a rocky
relationship with her.
So sometime, even before my daddied, my grandparents had made
me their power of attorney andso at this point we decided that
(07:03):
it would be best for everybodyif my grandparents were to move
in with my mom, who was theirdaughter-in-law, because my mom
had a big house and this waythey would be closer to me and
it would just be easier tomanage because they were now in
their 80s at this point.
So 2017, my grandmother was 89,a couple months before her 90th
(07:24):
birthday, and she got sick.
She kind of had been in and outof the hospital here and there
a little bit, but it's importantto note that she was very short
minded.
That woman had a memory unlikeanything I have ever seen and
she was very much 100% mentallycompetent.
(07:45):
So she was having some issuesand they'd gone to the hospital
and the doctor told her she hadlike a touch of pneumonia and
she had a reoccurring bout of Cdiff, which, for anybody who
doesn't know, it's like anintestinal bacterial thing.
That happens if people aretaking antibiotics.
(08:05):
Sometimes, if people have beenin the hospital, it's contagious
, so they can contract it.
So she's at the hospital andthey're kind of doing whatever
they do at the hospital and atthis point she says that's
enough, I don't want any moretreatment, no, I'm ready to die,
this is enough now.
(08:27):
And by this point I had made itup to the hospital and I was
talking to the doctor and thedoctor's telling me I really,
you know, I know she's upset,but like this is fixable, I
could just give her anantibiotic and send her home.
This is treatable, like she's,she's fine, really she's fine.
And my grandmother's, you know,kind of telling the doctor,
(08:47):
telling the nurses, telling meshe's like no, I'm done, I'm
ready to die now, like everybodyneeds to, like just get on
board with it.
And I guess the thing is islike it was all such matter of
fact conversation, right, itwasn't, like anybody was.
I mean, we're sad becauseyou're sad, because that's the
human emotion to it right.
But it was very matter of fact.
She was ready to go and we musthave really all kind of felt
(09:12):
that because at that moment mygrandmother wanted to call my
daughter, which would be hergreat granddaughter, to talk to
her because she was going to die.
So we had to call my daughterat work and I remember my
grandma's on the phone with mydaughter and she's like you know
, talking to her.
She's like hi, honey, it'sgrandma, I just wanted to call
(09:34):
to tell you.
I'm sorry, I'm going to cry.
She's like, I just want to call.
I want to call to tell you thatI love you.
I'm going to die now.
You'd be a good girl, you know,and my daughter's kind of, you
know, upset, she's kind of, youknow, telling her goodbye and
and and everything.
And my grandma was just verymatter of fact about it.
It really wasn't.
(09:55):
From our perspective, from likemy myself, my husband, my
daughter, my brother and notmaybe not so much my mom, but
you know somewhat my mom, mybrother and not maybe not so
much my mom, but you knowsomewhat my mom we're all really
okay with this process.
I mean me more than all of them.
But we were like, okay, this ishow this is going to go down.
I remember at one point hertelling me that my grandmother
(10:16):
telling me that she was seeingher father and you know her
father's obviously deceased orno longer in human form.
I should say she was saying youknow, I know this is going to
sound crazy, I'm not crazy and,believe you, my grandma was not
crazy.
But she's telling me she'sseeing her father and I'm saying
to her no, grandma, trust me, Ido not think you're crazy and
(10:37):
that's good, that's a reallygood thing.
So that night they cause thedoctor was like, look, I mean I
could send her home.
She's fine, I can fix this.
Yeah, exactly, and for whateverreason, like I said, everything
kind of it just played out theway that it needed to play out.
You know, calling my daughterfeeling that need, that urgency,
(10:59):
that she, my grandma was veryinsistent.
She wanted to talk to mydaughter and and it had to be
like now, couldn't wait tillafter work, till she could come
up, it needed to be now.
So they decided to let her stayat the hospital.
She stayed that night and thenthe next morning they moved her
to another room and by the timeI had made it up there the next
(11:23):
morning she was already like notable to talk.
You know, she was already likeeyes closed kind of laying in
bed, and so we all still talkedto her anyways, and by that
night she had died.
And it's funny because you knowthe doctor and the nurses are
(11:43):
like well's fine, like I don'tknow, like she, she made the
decision, like she honestly madethe decision.
Rebecca, like at this point,after everything that transpired
in her life, after where shewas at, yes, her condition was
fixable, but she was ready, itwas her time.
She was seeing her father whowas going to welcome her over,
and she got to say goodbye.
Like how great, how great wasthat.
(12:05):
She said goodbye to everysingle one of us and and and,
just so, like all right, I'mjust so matter of fact.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Okay, honey, I'm going to die now when you first
told me that I thought I justsaid I just love that.
I just love that because that'swhat we all should be doing.
We should, we should just besaying, hey, you know what?
I'm going to go ahead and dienow.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Honestly, she and I loved it, because I love that
she was a woman who, in herentire life because prior to
getting married to mygrandfather, she was a caregiver
for her parents, for her sisterwho was dying she kind of
always did what she needed foreverybody else and she often did
(12:49):
not have a choice in the thingsthat were done to her or her
circumstances, especially livingwith my grandfather and so in
her final moments, she got todecide.
And her final moments she gotto decide, she got to choose and
she did it gracefully, withoutresistance.
(13:10):
And I've seen people die, I'veseen them linger and linger and
linger, and I'm sure it'sbecause there's resistance and
with her there was none.
It was like okay, I'm done, Ilove you all.
And I remember saying to herand I've said this to other
dying people I was saying to herokay, grandma, I love you, I'll
(13:32):
see you when I get there.
And her saying okay, I'll seeyou when you get here.
And that's to me that's justawesome.
I think that's just such agreat thing.
Yeah, so that was 2017.
And then, in 2019, two and ahalf years later, my grandfather
, who was now 95, my grandfather, like I said, he was a
(13:55):
difficult man.
He had been an alcoholic for avery long time.
He had been in World War II.
He, as you can imagine, hislife growing up was just
different.
He grew up in a house wherethey had no electricity, no
running water.
He lived in a cabin.
Up until he left for the war hehad no electricity.
(14:17):
You know what I mean.
Whatever so, his life was verydifferent than what we know
today.
Some time probably about, maybe15 years prior to that, maybe 10
years prior to that he haddeveloped some stomach issues
and periodically maybe once ayear, once every two years he
would have to go to the hospitalbecause he would get like an
(14:39):
intestinal blockage.
And at the time and over theyears, the doctors would say
they weren't really sure whatthe blockage was.
They knew there was a massthere but he was never able to
get.
I don't think he ever got likean mri, like maybe he got like a
ct scan or whatever, becausethey had suspected that he had
(14:59):
shrapnel remaining in his body.
Because when he was in worldwar II he had been next to a
landmine that had went off andhe got hit with a lot of
shrapnel.
That was a long time ago.
They removed what they could,but there was suspect that there
was always some remaining andthat with his intestines and I
(15:20):
don't know the arteries and theblood flow and stuff every once
in a while I don't know thearteries and the blood flow and
stuff Every once in a while itwould get blocked.
I think probably so many yearsbefore 2019, they even came back
and said maybe it was cancerousmass.
If it was, it was slow growing,so this would happen
periodically.
So on this particular occasionin 2019, he had his 95th
(15:45):
birthday in August, so this wasnow October and, like I said, he
was living with my mom.
So they got him to the hospitaland the doctor at that point
was saying to him you know what,let's go in surgically and see
what the heck's going on there.
If it is, you know, a mass, wecan remove it.
(16:06):
Let's try to figure out, like,what we could do, because it was
very, very painful for mygrandfather and he was tired of
dealing with it, like you know.
Like I said, even if it onlyhappened once a year, I think it
had happened maybe six monthsprior to that event.
He was tired of it and so atthat point my grandfather was
saying nope, that's it, I'm done, I'm ready to die.
(16:27):
Now, like I don't want to fixthis, to tell you more about my
grandfather.
He was a very physically fitman.
He was 95.
But if you didn't know that hewas 95, to look at him he looked
75, right, physically, I wouldsay he could pass for a
35-year-old.
(16:48):
Up until the day of going intothe hospital he was mowing the
lawn.
We had caught him a week beforemy mom had caught him, like a
week before my mom had caughthim with a stepladder out in a
tree with a chainsaw cutting offbranches at 95 years old, wow,
um, very physically fit man,right and, and mentally he was
(17:12):
competent, he was fine, you know.
He was mentally aware ofeverything that was going on in
the world and so he had madethis decision.
He was like, no, I'm done now,like this has been long enough,
like I'm ready for this to beover.
And so once again, I findmyself at the hospital talking
to the doctor and the doctor'sjust like for the doctor, like
(17:34):
this was like insane, right,because he felt that again this
would pass, like these bloodvessels and stuff, I guess they
would shift and then, like youknow, they would get his
intestines, kind of like, getthe blockage and be able to send
him home or do this surgery.
And he's like your grandfatherat 95, I am 100% confident will
recover from this surgery.
(17:55):
He is physically fit andmentally fit.
He's like this isn't going tobe a problem.
And I'm like, well, you know,he's saying he wants to die.
So, and then sometimes, when,like I talk to people, like you
know, I'm talking to the doctorand he's looking at me like I'm
absolutely insane, right.
I'm like, well, he's ready togo, so let's just you know.
And they kept asking him overand over again Are you sure, are
(18:20):
you sure that you don't wantthis?
Are you sure this is what youwant to happen?
And my grandfather's like, oh,my God, how many ways can I tell
you, people, I'm ready to die?
And so, like you know, I talkwith the doctor and stuff.
I go and talk to my grandfatherand my grandfather's telling me
he's like look, what do youwant me to do?
Like, you tell me what you wantme to do.
And I said, look, grandpap, ifit were up to me, I'd want you
(18:44):
to live, to be 100 or more.
I think that would be fun.
But what do you want?
I will support whatever youwant to do.
And he's like, well, I'm readyto die.
And I said, well, all right,then let's die.
Then let's die, let's do it.
I love when like the medicalstaff look at me like we're all
(19:05):
absolutely insane, but I hopethat it leaves them with some
food for thought.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
And that's really, I think, what I always hope that
comes out of these types ofsituations.
Yeah, so at one point he wasgoing to eat and then he made
the comment to my mom and he waslike, well, wait a second, if I
eat, is that going to like slowdown the process of me dying?
(19:30):
And my mom's like, yeah, Ithink so.
And I'm like, yeah, I don'tknow.
He's like, well, I'm not goingto eat that.
No, last meal.
No, he's like I don not gonnaeat that, wow no last meal he
was like nope, no, he's like, Idon't want any food, then I'm
gonna go, I'm gonna do thisthing.
And so, um, the nursing staff,again the hospital was like okay
, like I mean, we can't justkeep this guy in a bed, like we
gotta do something with him, sothis could take a while.
(19:51):
They said you know well, that'swhat they said.
They're like this could take awhile, he's fine, he's not like.
They like was just soastounding.
I remember like the nursingstaff being like, wow, your
grandfather's like 95.
He's like, he's like in suchgreat shape, like we don't see
95 year old people in here.
They're like so like good, likementally and you know,
physically, and joking aroundand everything, like he's
(20:14):
telling jokes, you know.
And so we got in contact withthe hospice and they came and
they transported him over tohospice and so I think you know
we're talking like 48 hours,whatever, like he gets
transferred.
We're at the hospice and youknow, at this point he's not
(20:35):
eating.
He was, I think, having likeice chips a little bit.
We're all carrying on ourconversations and everything.
So the first night he was at thehospital we left, came back,
they moved him to the hospiceand he wasn't there long.
I think he was there for onenight and then the next day I
was going to go back.
(20:55):
My brother was going to see himand it was interesting because
I was going to go back to thehospice with my daughter when
she got off work and my brotherhad called me to tell me that he
was on his way to the hospiceto see my grandfather.
And my brother called me and hesaid Kim.
He said on the way here.
(21:17):
He's like I'm thinking aboutgrandma and marietta and he's
like I'm.
They're telling me they're ontheir way to him, like they're
on their way and my brother waslike kind of.
And I know my brother was likereally surprised and I'm like,
oh, I said that's so awesome,david, I'm like you.
You got like they came to you,like you saw them, that was them
(21:38):
.
And he was like, well, whywould they talk to me and not
talk to you?
It's perfect, it's absolutelyperfect that you had that
experience.
And so I kind of knew rightthen, when he had told me that I
was like, okay, they're on theway to like greet him.
And so my brother was in theroom with my grandfather.
(22:02):
He got to the hospice, he wasin the room with my grandfather
and they were having a fullconversation, like at this point
, like my mom had been there, myaunt had been there, like we'd
all had been there.
My grandfather was havingnormal everyday conversations.
He could see out the window,there was lawn care, people
tending to the lawn and he wastalking about them and, you know
(22:23):
, telling us different lawn caretips.
One more thing before I go Iknow exactly, and so, and even
the staff at the hospice waslike I mean, you know, I don't
know how long this is going tobe, because the dude's fine,
he's not eating and reallydrinking.
So that is going to you know,especially the not drinking
(22:45):
thing.
But but they're like, yeah,he's fine.
So my brother had got there.
My brother was with his wifeand his granddaughter and they
waited in like the waiting area.
My brother went in with mygrandfather and my brother said
they were having a full-fledgedconversation.
And at one point my grandfathersaid to my brother and I'm
(23:09):
trying not to cry when I saythis my grandfather said to my
brother and he was completelycognizant, totally aware, eyes
open, full conversation.
And he says to my brotheralways sorry.
He tells my brother always begood to people, give when you
can and it'll come back to you.
(23:31):
So my brother was like sorry.
My brother said to my pap.
He's like sorry.
My brother said to my pap.
He's like you know, that'sthat's really nice, like I, you
know, I will, I will do that,that's that's great.
And my grandfather kind ofclosed his eyes a little bit.
So my brother said, pap, I'mgoing to go out.
(23:51):
He wanted to take his grandgranddaughter outside because
she was in the waiting room andhe told my grandfather that.
You know, I was on my way therewith my daughter and my
grandfather said, ok, that'sfine.
So my brother left the room,got to like the little family
area and walked outside.
And by that point I had calledhim and said hey, we're pulling
into the parking lot, we're herenow.
(24:12):
So my brother said OK, I'llwait for you at the door then
and you know I'll walk back tothe room with you.
So I get out of the car, meetmy brother.
We're walking back to the roomand as we're walking back to the
room, the nurse walked out ofthe room and she said I'm so
sorry.
She said I'm so sorry, yourgrandfather's passed away.
(24:35):
My brother said my brother'scolorful language.
He, he was like what the F?
I just talked to him fiveminutes ago.
He's like no, maybe six, but Imean we just had a full-fledged
conversation and you know, so wekind of at that point my
daughter, you know, she criedbecause she had wanted to see
him one last time.
(24:55):
And you know, of course you'reemotional's the human side of
you, but at the same time aswe're crying we're also laughing
.
My bad, because for us we'rejust like, yes, like we're going
into his room and like we'reall like trying not to make
spectacles out of ourselves.
You know, kind of just likedancing around.
(25:16):
It really was, it really wasperfect.
Around, it really was, itreally was perfect, it really
was great.
I mean, how, how awesome isthat?
Speaker 1 (25:25):
it really is, especially when there was
nothing killing him no, no, hewas fixable.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
My grandmother was fixable.
He was fixable and I understoodmore with my grandmother
because she had such a hard timewith him.
He was a really difficult manfor her and I know that really
wore her down, but they wereboth fixable, especially my
grandfather.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
I mean, I'm telling you Nope, you just cut out you
there.
I can't hear you.
Check to see your.
It says your app is not focused.
Check to see if your screenwent black.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
What just happened.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Okay, now I can hear you.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
I don't know how that happened.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (26:10):
I'm just sitting here , I'm not touching my phone.
No, I know how it happened.
So a song started playing whilewe were talking.
Do you know what song it was On?
your phone yeah, on my phone,and literally I pushed the
button to get to see what theheck was going on.
And then it stopped and it thesong picked up right at this
(26:33):
part.
It was Just Breathe by PearlJam, which is one of my all-time
favorite songs, and it was theline at the very beginning where
it says yes, I understand,Every life must end no way, I
can't make this shit.
That is awesome oh my god, Idon't even know how that
(26:57):
happened.
I do have that in my music, butI'm not touching my phone.
There would be no reason for itto go off.
We know a good reason well,there is, I know why it went off
they're so, aren't they awesome?
Speaker 1 (27:07):
hi grandma, hi grandpa, it's so that's really
nice so just confirmation thatthey're in this conversation
with us.
Yeah, exactly, because you knowjust that part of that song,
that particular song that justmatches what you were just
saying I mean, how perfect isthat I love it.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Wow, I do.
I love it.
I wish everybody could havemore of a lighthearted approach
to death.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Oh yeah, me too.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
I wish that people didn't have that fear.
It is so.
I mean, rebecca, you know it'sso wonderful to walk through
life and not have that fear.
It's just such a wonderful,wonderful feeling.
Fear.
It's just such a wonderful,wonderful feeling and it's so
hard when you see people thatyou know are so fearful of death
(28:00):
, right Be it their own, theirfamilies, oh it's such it's so
hard to see that.
But yeah, so he had a.
Really he had a really gooddeath.
I think him and my grandmotherboth had a really really good
death.
And just his last statement tomy brother, my brother says I'll
never forget it.
I'll never forget those wordsand those are the last things
(28:21):
that he spoke.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Sorry, that's incredible.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Yeah, it's great.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
That's exactly why I want to have these conversations
, because I've been saying for along time people take life way
too seriously and they takedeath way too seriously.
When somebody is ready to die,let them die.
You know, something in themknows that this is just good
timing.
You know we do this with petstoo.
Yeah, you know pets will.
(28:50):
They're ready to go and peopleare trying to keep them here and
doing everything they can topossibly keep this pet alive
longer.
What's the point?
Speaker 2 (28:59):
in that I know.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
I know.
You know, if somebody's done,they're done.
We should honor that.
We do have an instinct tosurvive.
That's built into us and that'swhat keeps us here when it's
really rough.
But that instinct will sort ofdisappear when it's really rough
.
But that instinct will sort ofdisappear when it's really time
to go and we should just honorthat.
Because even though ourinstinct says I'm staying, that
(29:24):
doesn't mean that we should sortof impose that on somebody else
and say that means you shouldstay too.
Right, and what a beautiful wayto go.
You know, no drama.
Right, and what a beautiful wayto go.
You know, no drama, no trauma,Just hey, you know what, guys,
I'm going to die now.
Yeah, Even though the medicalprofessionals are saying but we
(29:45):
can fix this and you can staylonger, it doesn't make any
sense to us that you don't takethis treatment.
Exactly we should still honorthat.
You know that I don't have to.
I have, like your, yourstep-grandmother I have the
freedom and maybe a freedom thatI didn't realize most of my
life that I had and I can makedecisions.
And I'm making this one becausethis just feels good to me, it
(30:06):
feels right to me and it feelslike it's just time exactly.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
It was just beautiful that she got to do it on her
terms when she had spent alifetime of doing everything on
other people's terms.
And yeah, I can't imagine abetter way to leave this
experience.
And they both very much.
They were, both had a lot offaith in their religious beliefs
(30:32):
and everything and all that.
So they really didn't haveneither one of them had any fear
.
There was no resistance, theyhad no fear, and this is what
can happen when you don't haveany fear.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Yeah, I agree.
I mean with your step-grandma.
She gave into her condition, sothat gave her a nice easy
vehicle.
But what I think is soincredible with your grandfather
is that he really didn't have acondition Like he had the pain
in his stomach, but that couldhave been you know no big deal,
because he had that.
He went through that so manytimes, so it's not like he gave
(31:06):
into an illness that would goahead and give him his exit.
He just simply made thedecision and then let the exit
appear.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
He you know we all think of that like, oh, I just
want to.
And people will say that, likeI hope I die in my sleep, I
don't want to have to, like dealwith all this, or like I just
want to close my eyes and begone.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
And that's what he did he closed his eyes, rebecca
and he left, because we do havethe freedom to do that.
And there have been many peoplethrough the years yogis and you
know whatever who just say it'stime for me to leave my body.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
And they, they, they exit the focus and they, they
withdraw from the body.
So we know that it's somethingthat can be done.
We know that it's somethingthat's easy and I'm sure it's
available to all of us.
So I think, as we understandthis more and relax about death
(32:00):
and honor it and celebrate it,we're not going to have to go
through the extreme means ofexit that we do, that most
people do.
Right, you know we don't needthe big things to yank us out of
our focus.
Right, you know we don't needthe big things to, you know,
yank us out of our focus.
Right, you know we can justwithdraw.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Honestly like I just wish more people could be
lighthearted about it and yeah,it would be, it would be great
but I but I love that we makethis example for, like the
medical staff, because whilethey're all thinking we're
probably like certifiably insane, it does give them food for
thought, right?
Because even when my dad wasdying and we were joking and he
(32:41):
was going to die, there was noway around it.
You know now my dad lingeredbecause he was much more
resistant to it.
He had a lot more fear aroundit, but but he also did pass
quicker than the nursing staffthought that he was going to.
They had told us he had likemaybe two weeks and he died
within a couple hours.
Like I said, I've sat at thebedsides of quite a few dying
(33:04):
people.
I've seen the differencebetween resisting and not
resisting.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
And yeah, the not resisting is a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
And you know, it's not unusual for people who have
not been doing well to suddenlyget like a little burst of life
not long before they die.
And that goes to show you toothat there's life in dying,
right.
Right, you know, there's a sortof an awakening that's
happening before they actuallywithdraw from the physical
(33:34):
experience.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yeah, and I like that .
My grandmother was saying thatshe was seeing her father.
She'd been very close to herfather in life and it wasn't the
first time that she had been ina hospital where she had told
me she had seen her father.
So you know, to me that wasalways going to be, so you know,
(33:57):
to me that was always going tobe the spirit and soul that she
would see when she made hertransition.
And then for my grandfather,with my brother saying well, I'm
just thinking about them.
I'm like, no, no, no, you'reseeing.
You know, he was seeing ourgrandmother and our biological
grandmother and our stepgrandmother that's who was
coming for my grandfather.
And I think that's alsoimportant because while they had
lived in life, being so judged,these two sisters were coming
(34:20):
together.
These two souls, right, whoaren't bogged down with human
emotion and judgment, werecoming and saying, okay, we'll
lead you over.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yeah, that's a good point Because you know, when
we're not in a physical bodywith the personality stuff that
we've added to that body, thereisn't that resentment or anger.
You know, like you said,neither one of those souls was
saying look, you gave us a hardtime, right, right, and we went
through a lot of crap with you,so you're on your own when you
(34:54):
die, like we're somewhere else,we're not even going to pay
attention to you.
There's, there's none of that,because we all understand
outside of this life what thegame is.
You know, we know that it's noteasy here and we know that we
get dug in and maybe twisted orconfused or take it so seriously
.
And it's all for good reason.
(35:15):
There's so much information andexpansion in all of it, so we
understand that from thatbroader perspective and that's
just proof of it.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
It is, it really is.
And something else I rememberon another podcast you did was
someone saying about like, whensomeone dies, if they've kind of
had a tortured life or done badthings in their life, well they
have this tortured, bad ending.
And my grandfather, like I said, was a very difficult man.
A lot of people didn't getalong with him.
(35:44):
He was an alcoholic.
For a very, very long time hewas in World War II.
He had contributed to the deathof other humans in that war and
that was something that alwaysweighed on him.
It weighed on him that he knewhe had not been an ideal husband
(36:04):
or father.
He knew this At the end of hislife.
He was aware of it, but none ofthat hindered his death process
.
We as humans are always likepunishment, punishment,
punishment, and Spirit isn'tlike that.
So no, it didn't hinder him.
His experience in this life didnot hinder him into having a
(36:27):
beautiful end.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
And I think Spirit looks at us and relates to us in
a way that we might an analogyfor that might be, if we think
about a child.
You know, if you see a smallchild step on a bug, you don't
say you're an evil soul, youjust killed a creature.
Or if they destroy your decorin your house, put magic marker
(36:54):
all over it.
Or put peanut butter all overthe dog and the kitchen you know
, whatever it might be.
We don't look at them and sayyou're bad, you're terrible.
We have to treat youdifferently now, because you've
done this.
You need rehabilitated.
I mean we don't think that youknow that brands you.
(37:17):
You're terrible.
You've done, you know, six orseven or 10 things in the last
two weeks alone that we cancondemn you for.
We don't think to do that witha child, because we understand
the child is learning, the childis expanding.
That doesn't.
They're just doing what seemslike a good idea in the moment
and that's what we are all doinghere.
(37:37):
Exactly.
That's how Source views us is,yeah, they went into this crazy
maze that is beautiful and has awhole lot of purpose to it, but
navigating in that maze can bevery choppy, very choppy, and so
(37:59):
they fully understand how weget mean or or you know why we
hurt other people and thingslike that.
It's.
We're not, we're not really introuble for any of it and none
of it's wrong.
You know, the people that hemight've killed in that war met
with their means of exit, rightof which he provided, because
things sync up as they do, right, you know, and we are calling
(38:21):
the shots here and I think we're, we're learning more quickly
now, especially to ease up aboutall of that, yeah, to
understand that that person thatI just shot had a family and
they were only here because theywere made to be here and fight,
or maybe they believed in thisfight, but they believed in it
because of their own confusion.
(38:41):
You know they believe that weshould be fighting each other
and you know we will get morecompassionate and more
understanding.
You know, just like, in a way,the source views us.
I think we're starting to seeeach other better that way.
Like your grandfather, like youmentioned to me before when we
talked that, you know yourgrandmother would your original
(39:03):
grandmother would no sooner sitdown for dinner and he would say
get me a cup of coffee.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
He did that to both of them, but yeah.
Yeah, oh there you go.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
So you know, that was the way that, just his maybe,
the way he was raised, just theway other people it was just
seemed like a good idea to him.
It just seemed like that's whatwe do, without thinking Maybe
she's tired, maybe she doesn'tneed to be my gopher.
Maybe that's not why, caretaker,but he didn't have the
expansion.
He saw it later in life,because life is a great teacher.
But he couldn't see it then.
He was just too close up to hisown conditions, you know, and
way of life.
And so you know, without the,he was doing the best he could
in that moment.
Because that's what we're alldoing With what's in us at this
(39:57):
moment.
We're doing the best we canright now.
But that's always changing andmaybe he had days where he could
be more compassionate.
So he was doing the best hecould in that moment with what
he had.
You know, we fluctuate.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Right right.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
But he kept doing better and better and better and
recognizing as he got olderthat you know he really got some
serious stuff going on.
He really got caught up in thereality and the way where people
say we're supposed to be doingthis life and that, you know, we
just start to figure it outRight In time.
(40:31):
You know, we just start tofigure it out in time and he
figured it out well enough thathe found those words to share
with your brother that were verydear and very true.
Those words he probablywouldn't have, they wouldn't
have come out of him when he wasyounger.
No, they would not have, theywould not have, and that's what
(40:53):
we call wisdom.
So through all of that stuff,all the muck and mire and
everything, he was gainingwisdom Right, and that's why I
think that you know anotherthing aside from honoring death
and that whole process, I thinkwe need to honor the journey
that each person is having,because there's always honey in
all of it, even when we can'tsee it, and it all has purpose
(41:14):
for the whole of why we're here,and that's how you get to
non-judgment.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
I agree with you and I know that sometimes really
hard to remember when we're inthe midst of some sort of human
thing going on.
But one more thing I want to addis that when my step
grandmother married mygrandfather and so many people
were in the community that theylived in a really small
(41:40):
community, you know we'relooking at them like they were
some sort of way and thejudgment that they got I know my
, my aunt, their youngest, mygrandfather's youngest child, I
think to this day stillstruggles with it, like she
didn't like the fact that theygot married.
But some years ago, when I washaving a conversation with my
(42:03):
grandmother this might have beenlike 15 years ago I was having
a conversation with mygrandmother and that's when I
had kind of said, hey, I alwayshad this feeling that Marietta I
mean, I know, if I was dyingand I had children that needed
taken care of and I knew myhusband was going to get
remarried, my only thought wouldbe about my kids, right?
And so I had speculated this.
(42:25):
And that's when my stepgrandmother confirmed that they
had talked about it.
Marietta had said why don't youmarry him?
You know they had this about it.
Marietta had said why don't youmarry him?
You know they had this wholeconversation.
And so well, so many peopleplace judgment on them, right?
So many people view that aslike sick and wrong.
And how could you do that?
How could you sleep with yoursister's husband and blah, blah,
(42:46):
blah, all this stuff Like why.
That was like who cares aboutthat?
Right, she's taking care of hernieces and nephews.
And for me, from my perspective, and my grandmother at the time
, my step-grandmother at thetime, said to me this worked out
(43:07):
for all of us, sorry, and youknow what.
She's right, because for me Iwould not if my grandfather
would marry just some randomperson.
I would not have had theability to know that side of my
family, which has brought megreat joy.
And I don't know that I'd behere right now, in this moment,
telling you this story, ifeverything didn't play out the
(43:30):
way that it played out, becauseif he would have married someone
else, maybe I wouldn't havebeen as close with him.
I don't know, I may have noteven had any interaction with my
step-grandmother, right?
I don't know.
So for me, yeah, I mean, I candefinitely look at it and say
and even when I think of theworst experiences in my life
(43:51):
that I've had, I know thateverything happens for a reason
and there is, as you always say,rebecca, honey and everything,
and I do all I can to pick thathoney out because you have
taught me well.
Good, because it is always there, no matter what it is no matter
how we want to label something,the honey's in there, exactly,
(44:11):
exactly, matter what it is, nomatter how we want to label
something.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
The honey's in there, exactly, exactly, and you know.
When we look at it that way,you begin to understand that
life isn't torturing anybody,that things aren't bad.
They might be unwanted orunliked sometimes and when you
start to unravel that, you don'tget so much of that because you
(44:35):
get easier about life and youstart to see that, okay, I might
not like this right now, butwhere's the honey, Where's the
good stuff?
And then the whole thing shiftsinto something that's not
torturous or not bad.
It may be still be unwanted,but you get.
You start to see the backstory,you know, and you start to see
(44:58):
that there is a really deep andvery interesting reason why
everything is occurring and wecan get the benefit always
getting it, but we get it.
Oftentimes people get it inreally long, drawn out, hard
ways and that's all right.
(45:25):
But that's another thing I'mtrying to get out there to
people is to lighten up, findthat ease, look for the honey,
because I care about everyperson, but I also care about
this whole thing that we havegoing on here on this planet.
I don't care about every person,but I also care about this
whole thing that we have goingon here on this planet.
We're shifting and the morepeople that are looking at what
is working and what they do likeand what they do want, the
better this is going to be, thesmoother it's going to go and
(45:49):
the more fun it's going to be.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
That all sounds wonderful to me, definitely.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
Well, you know, that piece, I'm going to leave that
in.
Oh good, I'll find a way toleave that in.
What happened on your cellphone with that song?
Okay, good, good, because itwas incredible timing, oh my.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
God, it was.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
They're so awesome Rebecca, it was a perfect song
yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
That's just so cool and right at the beginning, when
it says yes, I understand thatevery life must end.
That was exactly the sentence Iheard.
I mean, I don't know how thathappened.
I was not touching, I know howit happened.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
Well, yeah, we know exactly how it happened.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Oh, that's beautiful, I love it.
Oh, my goodness, I love it, Ilove it.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
Well, thanks, kimberly, I I really appreciate
you sharing the story.
This is really interestingstuff and and I really hope that
people listen to the ease inthis and understand that,
whether it's their death orsomebody else's death, ease is
available.
Even if you, they, have ahealth condition or an accident
(46:49):
what we call an accident, theease is there.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
I agree, it's a beautiful thing really.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
So thank you very much.
You're welcome very much.
So I want to thank everyone whohas listened to this and I
really want to give a nice shoutout to the people of
Pennsylvania.
There are a lot of people inPennsylvania listening to the
show and I appreciate you all.
If anyone would like somepersonal guidance or direction,
you can find me atmysticaltruthscom.
(47:22):
You.
Welcome to the Mystical Truths Podcast.
This is Rebecca, and I'm reallyglad you're here.
Let's unlock your world.
There are two sections to thisshow that I normally would have
edited out, but I left inbecause this is not the first
time that the show has beeninterrupted with a sign from
(00:28):
Spirit.
So it's fun, it's interesting.
The first is when we actuallyhad the interruption.
The second is when I told Kimthat I was going to go ahead and
leave that in, so I thoughtthat part of the conversation
should be left in too.
So check it out.
Here we go On today's show.
I invited Kimberly Aloise tocome on and talk about her
(00:51):
grandparents passing, because wegot into a conversation about
her grandmother passing, hergrandfather passing and I just
found it really interesting thatthere was so much ease and
understanding in the passing.
So welcome, Kimberly.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Hi Rebecca, Thanks for having me.
I'm glad you're here.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
So tell us, take us to sort of the beginning.
You had power of attorney foryour grandmother.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
So, yeah, and my grandfather, yeah, for a really
long time.
So this is my paternalgrandparents, my dad's parents,
and just to give like a littlebit of background, my
grandmother was actually my stepgrandmother, so biologically
she was my great aunt.
When my biological grandmotherdied she was very young.
(01:45):
Her name was Marietta, so I'lljust refer to her as Marietta
because that makes it lessconfusing when I'm saying
grandma.
But when Marietta died she wasvery young.
She had children still at homeand she knew my grandfather
would remarry again.
So for her, from herperspective, her and her sister
(02:06):
were very, very close and shehad asked my grandmother to
marry her husband after she diedso that someone would be able
to take care of her children.
And can you?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
explain to them, explain to all of us, why that
was so important then.
Because today maybe not so much, but why was it such a big deal
?
She knew she was going to die.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
She wanted her sister to marry her husband Because,
yeah, my grandfather was a veryI mean, it was a long time ago.
So back then, you know, mygrandfather wasn't about to take
care of the children and cleanand cook and do all those
household things.
He, in his mind, had to have awoman and my grandmother feared
(02:52):
that he would take whichever onecame his way and she
desperately wanted to make surethat her children had someone
that actually loved them andwould take care of them.
So, yeah, I mean that's, and myMarietta wanted that.
And then my grandmother she wasalready pushing 40 or 40.
(03:13):
She was unmarried.
So she basically did it for hersister and the kids.
I mean, she got married to mygrandfather.
She wasn't in love with him.
He wasn't in love with her.
They did have a very difficultlife together.
She did.
She had a difficult life withhim, but yeah, so that's kind of
the background of it.
So she technically she's mystep grandmother, but she is
(03:35):
biologically related to me.
Yeah, I know a lot of peoplehad a really, really hard time
with it and their familyactually sort of really
struggled with it.
They ended up actually movinglike three hours north of here
and lived there most of my lifebecause it was just easier than
dealing with all the judgmentfrom everybody.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Because they married pretty quickly, right.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Yeah, they married pretty quickly.
They stayed here for a while.
It was like six months afterMarietta died that they got
married, because at that pointmy grandfather said that my
step-grandmother could not keepcoming over to the house because
people were going to starttalking, and so that's when they
said, well, okay, we'll justmake this official now, because
(04:22):
six months have gone by whateverbecause we it's.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
You know, six months have gone by, whatever, so they
did stay living here probablyabout six, six or so years,
before they finally did moveaway a little bit which is
really interesting, because backthen everybody knew that a lot
of the men had to have a womanif they had children, because,
like you mentioned to me beforewhen, when we talked that you
know he would even need her toget him a cup of coffee, or you
(04:50):
know, just wasn't the guy thatcontributed a lot to the family.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah, he was very difficult.
He was difficult for mybiological grandmother as well
as my step grandmother.
He was a difficult man.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
So it's funny that you know grandmother he was a
difficult man.
So it's funny that you knowback in that day a lot of people
understood or would have, Ithink, understood if they really
knew the story why thatsituation occurred.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
but yet they were judging them.
I think there was a lot ofembarrassment behind it all for
everybody.
In a lot of ways, that kind ofstuff did happen a lot back in
the day, you know.
I mean, I've researched myfamily genealogy back hundreds
and hundreds of years and,believe you me, if a spouse died
, the remaining spouse remarriedvery quickly.
(05:36):
It was a necessity really in alot of ways, you know back then.
So, yeah, I didn't find outuntil much much later in life.
I always had an inkling Um,marietta died before I was even
born, but I always had aninkling that there, that this is
(05:57):
something that Marietta wanted.
And later on in life, my, mystep-grandmother did confirm
that.
They had had a talk about itand she really did this for her
sister and for the kids, and shetook a lot of heat.
A lot of people really were notnice to her about it.
So it is tough, but, yeah.
(06:17):
So, year, years pass and atthis point, 2011, my dad had
passed away and by that point,my grandfather had had four
children.
My step-grandmother did nothave any biological children of
her own.
She just had her nieces, or herniece and nephews, as her
stepchildren.
And by this point in 2011, whenmy dad passed away, by that
(06:42):
point they had already buriedthree of their children.
So their three sons had alreadydied.
Their daughter was still alive,but they had a rocky
relationship with her.
So sometime, even before my daddied, my grandparents had made
me their power of attorney andso at this point we decided that
(07:03):
it would be best for everybodyif my grandparents were to move
in with my mom, who was theirdaughter-in-law, because my mom
had a big house and this waythey would be closer to me and
it would just be easier tomanage because they were now in
their 80s at this point.
So 2017, my grandmother was 89,a couple months before her 90th
(07:24):
birthday, and she got sick.
She kind of had been in and outof the hospital here and there
a little bit, but it's importantto note that she was very short
minded.
That woman had a memory unlikeanything I have ever seen and
she was very much 100% mentallycompetent.
(07:45):
So she was having some issuesand they'd gone to the hospital
and the doctor told her she hadlike a touch of pneumonia and
she had a reoccurring bout of Cdiff, which, for anybody who
doesn't know, it's like anintestinal bacterial thing.
That happens if people aretaking antibiotics.
(08:05):
Sometimes, if people have beenin the hospital, it's contagious
, so they can contract it.
So she's at the hospital andthey're kind of doing whatever
they do at the hospital and atthis point she says that's
enough, I don't want any moretreatment, no, I'm ready to die,
this is enough now.
(08:27):
And by this point I had made itup to the hospital and I was
talking to the doctor and thedoctor's telling me I really,
you know, I know she's upset,but like this is fixable, I
could just give her anantibiotic and send her home.
This is treatable, like she's,she's fine, really she's fine.
And my grandmother's, you know,kind of telling the doctor,
(08:47):
telling the nurses, telling meshe's like no, I'm done, I'm
ready to die now, like everybodyneeds to, like just get on
board with it.
And I guess the thing is islike it was all such matter of
fact conversation, right, itwasn't, like anybody was.
I mean, we're sad becauseyou're sad, because that's the
human emotion to it right.
But it was very matter of fact.
She was ready to go and we musthave really all kind of felt
(09:12):
that because at that moment mygrandmother wanted to call my
daughter, which would be hergreat granddaughter, to talk to
her because she was going to die.
So we had to call my daughterat work and I remember my
grandma's on the phone with mydaughter and she's like you know
, talking to her.
She's like hi, honey, it'sgrandma, I just wanted to call
(09:34):
to tell you.
I'm sorry, I'm going to cry.
She's like, I just want to call.
I want to call to tell you thatI love you.
I'm going to die now.
You'd be a good girl, you know,and my daughter's kind of, you
know, upset, she's kind of, youknow, telling her goodbye and
and and everything.
And my grandma was just verymatter of fact about it.
It really wasn't.
(09:55):
From our perspective, from likemy myself, my husband, my
daughter, my brother and notmaybe not so much my mom, but
you know somewhat my mom, mybrother and not maybe not so
much my mom, but you knowsomewhat my mom we're all really
okay with this process.
I mean me more than all of them.
But we were like, okay, this ishow this is going to go down.
I remember at one point hertelling me that my grandmother
(10:16):
telling me that she was seeingher father and you know her
father's obviously deceased orno longer in human form.
I should say she was saying youknow, I know this is going to
sound crazy, I'm not crazy and,believe you, my grandma was not
crazy.
But she's telling me she'sseeing her father and I'm saying
to her no, grandma, trust me, Ido not think you're crazy and
(10:37):
that's good, that's a reallygood thing.
So that night they cause thedoctor was like, look, I mean I
could send her home.
She's fine, I can fix this.
Yeah, exactly, and for whateverreason, like I said, everything
kind of it just played out theway that it needed to play out.
You know, calling my daughterfeeling that need, that urgency,
(10:59):
that she, my grandma was veryinsistent.
She wanted to talk to mydaughter and and it had to be
like now, couldn't wait tillafter work, till she could come
up, it needed to be now.
So they decided to let her stayat the hospital.
She stayed that night and thenthe next morning they moved her
to another room and by the timeI had made it up there the next
(11:23):
morning she was already like notable to talk.
You know, she was already likeeyes closed kind of laying in
bed, and so we all still talkedto her anyways, and by that
night she had died.
And it's funny because you knowthe doctor and the nurses are
(11:43):
like well's fine, like I don'tknow, like she, she made the
decision, like she honestly madethe decision.
Rebecca, like at this point,after everything that transpired
in her life, after where shewas at, yes, her condition was
fixable, but she was ready, itwas her time.
She was seeing her father whowas going to welcome her over,
and she got to say goodbye.
Like how great, how great wasthat.
(12:05):
She said goodbye to everysingle one of us and and and,
just so, like all right, I'mjust so matter of fact.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Okay, honey, I'm going to die now when you first
told me that I thought I justsaid I just love that.
I just love that because that'swhat we all should be doing.
We should, we should just besaying, hey, you know what?
I'm going to go ahead and dienow.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Honestly, she and I loved it, because I love that
she was a woman who, in herentire life because prior to
getting married to mygrandfather, she was a caregiver
for her parents, for her sisterwho was dying she kind of
always did what she needed foreverybody else and she often did
(12:49):
not have a choice in the thingsthat were done to her or her
circumstances, especially livingwith my grandfather and so in
her final moments, she got todecide.
And her final moments she gotto decide, she got to choose and
she did it gracefully, withoutresistance.
(13:10):
And I've seen people die, I'veseen them linger and linger and
linger, and I'm sure it'sbecause there's resistance and
with her there was none.
It was like okay, I'm done, Ilove you all.
And I remember saying to herand I've said this to other
dying people I was saying to herokay, grandma, I love you, I'll
(13:32):
see you when I get there.
And her saying okay, I'll seeyou when you get here.
And that's to me that's justawesome.
I think that's just such agreat thing.
Yeah, so that was 2017.
And then, in 2019, two and ahalf years later, my grandfather
, who was now 95, my grandfather, like I said, he was a
(13:55):
difficult man.
He had been an alcoholic for avery long time.
He had been in World War II.
He, as you can imagine, hislife growing up was just
different.
He grew up in a house wherethey had no electricity, no
running water.
He lived in a cabin.
Up until he left for the war hehad no electricity.
(14:17):
You know what I mean.
Whatever so, his life was verydifferent than what we know
today.
Some time probably about, maybe15 years prior to that, maybe 10
years prior to that he haddeveloped some stomach issues
and periodically maybe once ayear, once every two years he
would have to go to the hospitalbecause he would get like an
(14:39):
intestinal blockage.
And at the time and over theyears, the doctors would say
they weren't really sure whatthe blockage was.
They knew there was a massthere but he was never able to
get.
I don't think he ever got likean mri, like maybe he got like a
ct scan or whatever, becausethey had suspected that he had
(14:59):
shrapnel remaining in his body.
Because when he was in worldwar II he had been next to a
landmine that had went off andhe got hit with a lot of
shrapnel.
That was a long time ago.
They removed what they could,but there was suspect that there
was always some remaining andthat with his intestines and I
(15:20):
don't know the arteries and theblood flow and stuff every once
in a while I don't know thearteries and the blood flow and
stuff Every once in a while itwould get blocked.
I think probably so many yearsbefore 2019, they even came back
and said maybe it was cancerousmass.
If it was, it was slow growing,so this would happen
periodically.
So on this particular occasionin 2019, he had his 95th
(15:45):
birthday in August, so this wasnow October and, like I said, he
was living with my mom.
So they got him to the hospitaland the doctor at that point
was saying to him you know what,let's go in surgically and see
what the heck's going on there.
If it is, you know, a mass, wecan remove it.
(16:06):
Let's try to figure out, like,what we could do, because it was
very, very painful for mygrandfather and he was tired of
dealing with it, like you know.
Like I said, even if it onlyhappened once a year, I think it
had happened maybe six monthsprior to that event.
He was tired of it and so atthat point my grandfather was
saying nope, that's it, I'm done, I'm ready to die.
(16:27):
Now, like I don't want to fixthis, to tell you more about my
grandfather.
He was a very physically fitman.
He was 95.
But if you didn't know that hewas 95, to look at him he looked
75, right, physically, I wouldsay he could pass for a
35-year-old.
(16:48):
Up until the day of going intothe hospital he was mowing the
lawn.
We had caught him a week beforemy mom had caught him, like a
week before my mom had caughthim with a stepladder out in a
tree with a chainsaw cutting offbranches at 95 years old, wow,
um, very physically fit man,right and, and mentally he was
(17:12):
competent, he was fine, you know.
He was mentally aware ofeverything that was going on in
the world and so he had madethis decision.
He was like, no, I'm done now,like this has been long enough,
like I'm ready for this to beover.
And so once again, I findmyself at the hospital talking
to the doctor and the doctor'sjust like for the doctor, like
(17:34):
this was like insane, right,because he felt that again this
would pass, like these bloodvessels and stuff, I guess they
would shift and then, like youknow, they would get his
intestines, kind of like, getthe blockage and be able to send
him home or do this surgery.
And he's like your grandfatherat 95, I am 100% confident will
recover from this surgery.
(17:55):
He is physically fit andmentally fit.
He's like this isn't going tobe a problem.
And I'm like, well, you know,he's saying he wants to die.
So, and then sometimes, when,like I talk to people, like you
know, I'm talking to the doctorand he's looking at me like I'm
absolutely insane, right.
I'm like, well, he's ready togo, so let's just you know.
And they kept asking him overand over again Are you sure, are
(18:20):
you sure that you don't wantthis?
Are you sure this is what youwant to happen?
And my grandfather's like, oh,my God, how many ways can I tell
you, people, I'm ready to die?
And so, like you know, I talkwith the doctor and stuff.
I go and talk to my grandfatherand my grandfather's telling me
he's like look, what do youwant me to do?
Like, you tell me what you wantme to do.
And I said, look, grandpap, ifit were up to me, I'd want you
(18:44):
to live, to be 100 or more.
I think that would be fun.
But what do you want?
I will support whatever youwant to do.
And he's like, well, I'm readyto die.
And I said, well, all right,then let's die.
Then let's die, let's do it.
I love when like the medicalstaff look at me like we're all
(19:05):
absolutely insane, but I hopethat it leaves them with some
food for thought.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
And that's really, I think, what I always hope that
comes out of these types ofsituations.
Yeah, so at one point he wasgoing to eat and then he made
the comment to my mom and he waslike, well, wait a second, if I
eat, is that going to like slowdown the process of me dying?
(19:30):
And my mom's like, yeah, Ithink so.
And I'm like, yeah, I don'tknow.
He's like, well, I'm not goingto eat that.
No, last meal.
No, he's like I don not gonnaeat that, wow no last meal he
was like nope, no, he's like, Idon't want any food, then I'm
gonna go, I'm gonna do thisthing.
And so, um, the nursing staff,again the hospital was like okay
, like I mean, we can't justkeep this guy in a bed, like we
gotta do something with him, sothis could take a while.
(19:51):
They said you know well, that'swhat they said.
They're like this could take awhile, he's fine, he's not like.
They like was just soastounding.
I remember like the nursingstaff being like, wow, your
grandfather's like 95.
He's like, he's like in suchgreat shape, like we don't see
95 year old people in here.
They're like so like good, likementally and you know,
physically, and joking aroundand everything, like he's
(20:14):
telling jokes, you know.
And so we got in contact withthe hospice and they came and
they transported him over tohospice and so I think you know
we're talking like 48 hours,whatever, like he gets
transferred.
We're at the hospice and youknow, at this point he's not
(20:35):
eating.
He was, I think, having likeice chips a little bit.
We're all carrying on ourconversations and everything.
So the first night he was at thehospital we left, came back,
they moved him to the hospiceand he wasn't there long.
I think he was there for onenight and then the next day I
was going to go back.
(20:55):
My brother was going to see himand it was interesting because
I was going to go back to thehospice with my daughter when
she got off work and my brotherhad called me to tell me that he
was on his way to the hospiceto see my grandfather.
And my brother called me and hesaid Kim.
He said on the way here.
(21:17):
He's like I'm thinking aboutgrandma and marietta and he's
like I'm.
They're telling me they're ontheir way to him, like they're
on their way and my brother waslike kind of.
And I know my brother was likereally surprised and I'm like,
oh, I said that's so awesome,david, I'm like you.
You got like they came to you,like you saw them, that was them
(21:38):
.
And he was like, well, whywould they talk to me and not
talk to you?
It's perfect, it's absolutelyperfect that you had that
experience.
And so I kind of knew rightthen, when he had told me that I
was like, okay, they're on theway to like greet him.
And so my brother was in theroom with my grandfather.
(22:02):
He got to the hospice, he wasin the room with my grandfather
and they were having a fullconversation, like at this point
, like my mom had been there, myaunt had been there, like we'd
all had been there.
My grandfather was havingnormal everyday conversations.
He could see out the window,there was lawn care, people
tending to the lawn and he wastalking about them and, you know
(22:23):
, telling us different lawn caretips.
One more thing before I go Iknow exactly, and so, and even
the staff at the hospice waslike I mean, you know, I don't
know how long this is going tobe, because the dude's fine,
he's not eating and reallydrinking.
So that is going to you know,especially the not drinking
(22:45):
thing.
But but they're like, yeah,he's fine.
So my brother had got there.
My brother was with his wifeand his granddaughter and they
waited in like the waiting area.
My brother went in with mygrandfather and my brother said
they were having a full-fledgedconversation.
And at one point my grandfathersaid to my brother and I'm
(23:09):
trying not to cry when I saythis my grandfather said to my
brother and he was completelycognizant, totally aware, eyes
open, full conversation.
And he says to my brotheralways sorry.
He tells my brother always begood to people, give when you
can and it'll come back to you.
(23:31):
So my brother was like sorry.
My brother said to my pap.
He's like sorry.
My brother said to my pap.
He's like you know, that'sthat's really nice, like I, you
know, I will, I will do that,that's that's great.
And my grandfather kind ofclosed his eyes a little bit.
So my brother said, pap, I'mgoing to go out.
(23:51):
He wanted to take his grandgranddaughter outside because
she was in the waiting room andhe told my grandfather that.
You know, I was on my way therewith my daughter and my
grandfather said, ok, that'sfine.
So my brother left the room,got to like the little family
area and walked outside.
And by that point I had calledhim and said hey, we're pulling
into the parking lot, we're herenow.
(24:12):
So my brother said OK, I'llwait for you at the door then
and you know I'll walk back tothe room with you.
So I get out of the car, meetmy brother.
We're walking back to the roomand as we're walking back to the
room, the nurse walked out ofthe room and she said I'm so
sorry.
She said I'm so sorry, yourgrandfather's passed away.
(24:35):
My brother said my brother'scolorful language.
He, he was like what the F?
I just talked to him fiveminutes ago.
He's like no, maybe six, but Imean we just had a full-fledged
conversation and you know, so wekind of at that point my
daughter, you know, she criedbecause she had wanted to see
him one last time.
(24:55):
And you know, of course you'reemotional's the human side of
you, but at the same time aswe're crying we're also laughing
.
My bad, because for us we'rejust like, yes, like we're going
into his room and like we'reall like trying not to make
spectacles out of ourselves.
You know, kind of just likedancing around.
(25:16):
It really was, it really wasperfect.
Around, it really was, itreally was perfect, it really
was great.
I mean, how, how awesome isthat?
Speaker 1 (25:25):
it really is, especially when there was
nothing killing him no, no, hewas fixable.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
My grandmother was fixable.
He was fixable and I understoodmore with my grandmother
because she had such a hard timewith him.
He was a really difficult manfor her and I know that really
wore her down, but they wereboth fixable, especially my
grandfather.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
I mean, I'm telling you Nope, you just cut out you
there.
I can't hear you.
Check to see your.
It says your app is not focused.
Check to see if your screenwent black.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
What just happened.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Okay, now I can hear you.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
I don't know how that happened.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (26:10):
I'm just sitting here , I'm not touching my phone.
No, I know how it happened.
So a song started playing whilewe were talking.
Do you know what song it was On?
your phone yeah, on my phone,and literally I pushed the
button to get to see what theheck was going on.
And then it stopped and it thesong picked up right at this
(26:33):
part.
It was Just Breathe by PearlJam, which is one of my all-time
favorite songs, and it was theline at the very beginning where
it says yes, I understand,Every life must end no way, I
can't make this shit.
That is awesome oh my god, Idon't even know how that
(26:57):
happened.
I do have that in my music, butI'm not touching my phone.
There would be no reason for itto go off.
We know a good reason well,there is, I know why it went off
they're so, aren't they awesome?
Speaker 1 (27:07):
hi grandma, hi grandpa, it's so that's really
nice so just confirmation thatthey're in this conversation
with us.
Yeah, exactly, because you knowjust that part of that song,
that particular song that justmatches what you were just
saying I mean, how perfect isthat I love it.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Wow, I do.
I love it.
I wish everybody could havemore of a lighthearted approach
to death.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Oh yeah, me too.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
I wish that people didn't have that fear.
It is so.
I mean, rebecca, you know it'sso wonderful to walk through
life and not have that fear.
It's just such a wonderful,wonderful feeling.
Fear.
It's just such a wonderful,wonderful feeling and it's so
hard when you see people thatyou know are so fearful of death
(28:00):
, right Be it their own, theirfamilies, oh it's such it's so
hard to see that.
But yeah, so he had a.
Really he had a really gooddeath.
I think him and my grandmotherboth had a really really good
death.
And just his last statement tomy brother, my brother says I'll
never forget it.
I'll never forget those wordsand those are the last things
(28:21):
that he spoke.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Sorry, that's incredible.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Yeah, it's great.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
That's exactly why I want to have these conversations
, because I've been saying for along time people take life way
too seriously and they takedeath way too seriously.
When somebody is ready to die,let them die.
You know, something in themknows that this is just good
timing.
You know we do this with petstoo.
Yeah, you know pets will.
(28:50):
They're ready to go and peopleare trying to keep them here and
doing everything they can topossibly keep this pet alive
longer.
What's the point?
Speaker 2 (28:59):
in that I know.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
I know.
You know, if somebody's done,they're done.
We should honor that.
We do have an instinct tosurvive.
That's built into us and that'swhat keeps us here when it's
really rough.
But that instinct will sort ofdisappear when it's really rough
.
But that instinct will sort ofdisappear when it's really time
to go and we should just honorthat.
Because even though ourinstinct says I'm staying, that
(29:24):
doesn't mean that we should sortof impose that on somebody else
and say that means you shouldstay too.
Right, and what a beautiful wayto go.
You know, no drama.
Right, and what a beautiful wayto go.
You know, no drama, no trauma,Just hey, you know what, guys,
I'm going to die now.
Yeah, Even though the medicalprofessionals are saying but we
(29:45):
can fix this and you can staylonger, it doesn't make any
sense to us that you don't takethis treatment.
Exactly we should still honorthat.
You know that I don't have to.
I have, like your, yourstep-grandmother I have the
freedom and maybe a freedom thatI didn't realize most of my
life that I had and I can makedecisions.
And I'm making this one becausethis just feels good to me, it
(30:06):
feels right to me and it feelslike it's just time exactly.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
It was just beautiful that she got to do it on her
terms when she had spent alifetime of doing everything on
other people's terms.
And yeah, I can't imagine abetter way to leave this
experience.
And they both very much.
They were, both had a lot offaith in their religious beliefs
(30:32):
and everything and all that.
So they really didn't haveneither one of them had any fear
.
There was no resistance, theyhad no fear, and this is what
can happen when you don't haveany fear.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Yeah, I agree.
I mean with your step-grandma.
She gave into her condition, sothat gave her a nice easy
vehicle.
But what I think is soincredible with your grandfather
is that he really didn't have acondition Like he had the pain
in his stomach, but that couldhave been you know no big deal,
because he had that.
He went through that so manytimes, so it's not like he gave
(31:06):
into an illness that would goahead and give him his exit.
He just simply made thedecision and then let the exit
appear.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
He you know we all think of that like, oh, I just
want to.
And people will say that, likeI hope I die in my sleep, I
don't want to have to, like dealwith all this, or like I just
want to close my eyes and begone.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
And that's what he did he closed his eyes, rebecca
and he left, because we do havethe freedom to do that.
And there have been many peoplethrough the years yogis and you
know whatever who just say it'stime for me to leave my body.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
And they, they, they exit the focus and they, they
withdraw from the body.
So we know that it's somethingthat can be done.
We know that it's somethingthat's easy and I'm sure it's
available to all of us.
So I think, as we understandthis more and relax about death
(32:00):
and honor it and celebrate it,we're not going to have to go
through the extreme means ofexit that we do, that most
people do.
Right, you know we don't needthe big things to yank us out of
our focus.
Right, you know we don't needthe big things to, you know,
yank us out of our focus.
Right, you know we can justwithdraw.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Honestly like I just wish more people could be
lighthearted about it and yeah,it would be, it would be great
but I but I love that we makethis example for, like the
medical staff, because whilethey're all thinking we're
probably like certifiably insane, it does give them food for
thought, right?
Because even when my dad wasdying and we were joking and he
(32:41):
was going to die, there was noway around it.
You know now my dad lingeredbecause he was much more
resistant to it.
He had a lot more fear aroundit, but but he also did pass
quicker than the nursing staffthought that he was going to.
They had told us he had likemaybe two weeks and he died
within a couple hours.
Like I said, I've sat at thebedsides of quite a few dying
(33:04):
people.
I've seen the differencebetween resisting and not
resisting.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
And yeah, the not resisting is a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
And you know, it's not unusual for people who have
not been doing well to suddenlyget like a little burst of life
not long before they die.
And that goes to show you toothat there's life in dying,
right.
Right, you know, there's a sortof an awakening that's
happening before they actuallywithdraw from the physical
(33:34):
experience.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yeah, and I like that .
My grandmother was saying thatshe was seeing her father.
She'd been very close to herfather in life and it wasn't the
first time that she had been ina hospital where she had told
me she had seen her father.
So you know, to me that wasalways going to be, so you know,
(33:57):
to me that was always going tobe the spirit and soul that she
would see when she made hertransition.
And then for my grandfather,with my brother saying well, I'm
just thinking about them.
I'm like, no, no, no, you'reseeing.
You know, he was seeing ourgrandmother and our biological
grandmother and our stepgrandmother that's who was
coming for my grandfather.
And I think that's alsoimportant because while they had
lived in life, being so judged,these two sisters were coming
(34:20):
together.
These two souls, right, whoaren't bogged down with human
emotion and judgment, werecoming and saying, okay, we'll
lead you over.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yeah, that's a good point Because you know, when
we're not in a physical bodywith the personality stuff that
we've added to that body, thereisn't that resentment or anger.
You know, like you said,neither one of those souls was
saying look, you gave us a hardtime, right, right, and we went
through a lot of crap with you,so you're on your own when you
(34:54):
die, like we're somewhere else,we're not even going to pay
attention to you.
There's, there's none of that,because we all understand
outside of this life what thegame is.
You know, we know that it's noteasy here and we know that we
get dug in and maybe twisted orconfused or take it so seriously
.
And it's all for good reason.
(35:15):
There's so much information andexpansion in all of it, so we
understand that from thatbroader perspective and that's
just proof of it.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
It is, it really is.
And something else I rememberon another podcast you did was
someone saying about like, whensomeone dies, if they've kind of
had a tortured life or done badthings in their life, well they
have this tortured, bad ending.
And my grandfather, like I said, was a very difficult man.
A lot of people didn't getalong with him.
(35:44):
He was an alcoholic.
For a very, very long time hewas in World War II.
He had contributed to the deathof other humans in that war and
that was something that alwaysweighed on him.
It weighed on him that he knewhe had not been an ideal husband
(36:04):
or father.
He knew this At the end of hislife.
He was aware of it, but none ofthat hindered his death process
.
We as humans are always likepunishment, punishment,
punishment, and Spirit isn'tlike that.
So no, it didn't hinder him.
His experience in this life didnot hinder him into having a
(36:27):
beautiful end.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
And I think Spirit looks at us and relates to us in
a way that we might an analogyfor that might be, if we think
about a child.
You know, if you see a smallchild step on a bug, you don't
say you're an evil soul, youjust killed a creature.
Or if they destroy your decorin your house, put magic marker
(36:54):
all over it.
Or put peanut butter all overthe dog and the kitchen you know
, whatever it might be.
We don't look at them and sayyou're bad, you're terrible.
We have to treat youdifferently now, because you've
done this.
You need rehabilitated.
I mean we don't think that youknow that brands you.
(37:17):
You're terrible.
You've done, you know, six orseven or 10 things in the last
two weeks alone that we cancondemn you for.
We don't think to do that witha child, because we understand
the child is learning, the childis expanding.
That doesn't.
They're just doing what seemslike a good idea in the moment
and that's what we are all doinghere.
(37:37):
Exactly.
That's how Source views us is,yeah, they went into this crazy
maze that is beautiful and has awhole lot of purpose to it, but
navigating in that maze can bevery choppy, very choppy, and so
(37:59):
they fully understand how weget mean or or you know why we
hurt other people and thingslike that.
It's.
We're not, we're not really introuble for any of it and none
of it's wrong.
You know, the people that hemight've killed in that war met
with their means of exit, rightof which he provided, because
things sync up as they do, right, you know, and we are calling
(38:21):
the shots here and I think we're, we're learning more quickly
now, especially to ease up aboutall of that, yeah, to
understand that that person thatI just shot had a family and
they were only here because theywere made to be here and fight,
or maybe they believed in thisfight, but they believed in it
because of their own confusion.
(38:41):
You know they believe that weshould be fighting each other
and you know we will get morecompassionate and more
understanding.
You know, just like, in a way,the source views us.
I think we're starting to seeeach other better that way.
Like your grandfather, like youmentioned to me before when we
talked that, you know yourgrandmother would your original
(39:03):
grandmother would no sooner sitdown for dinner and he would say
get me a cup of coffee.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
He did that to both of them, but yeah.
Yeah, oh there you go.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
So you know, that was the way that, just his maybe,
the way he was raised, just theway other people it was just
seemed like a good idea to him.
It just seemed like that's whatwe do, without thinking Maybe
she's tired, maybe she doesn'tneed to be my gopher.
Maybe that's not why, caretaker,but he didn't have the
expansion.
He saw it later in life,because life is a great teacher.
But he couldn't see it then.
He was just too close up to hisown conditions, you know, and
way of life.
And so you know, without the,he was doing the best he could
in that moment.
Because that's what we're alldoing With what's in us at this
(39:57):
moment.
We're doing the best we canright now.
But that's always changing andmaybe he had days where he could
be more compassionate.
So he was doing the best hecould in that moment with what
he had.
You know, we fluctuate.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Right right.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
But he kept doing better and better and better and
recognizing as he got olderthat you know he really got some
serious stuff going on.
He really got caught up in thereality and the way where people
say we're supposed to be doingthis life and that, you know, we
just start to figure it outRight In time.
(40:31):
You know, we just start tofigure it out in time and he
figured it out well enough thathe found those words to share
with your brother that were verydear and very true.
Those words he probablywouldn't have, they wouldn't
have come out of him when he wasyounger.
No, they would not have, theywould not have, and that's what
(40:53):
we call wisdom.
So through all of that stuff,all the muck and mire and
everything, he was gainingwisdom Right, and that's why I
think that you know anotherthing aside from honoring death
and that whole process, I thinkwe need to honor the journey
that each person is having,because there's always honey in
all of it, even when we can'tsee it, and it all has purpose
(41:14):
for the whole of why we're here,and that's how you get to
non-judgment.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
I agree with you and I know that sometimes really
hard to remember when we're inthe midst of some sort of human
thing going on.
But one more thing I want to addis that when my step
grandmother married mygrandfather and so many people
were in the community that theylived in a really small
(41:40):
community, you know we'relooking at them like they were
some sort of way and thejudgment that they got I know my
, my aunt, their youngest, mygrandfather's youngest child, I
think to this day stillstruggles with it, like she
didn't like the fact that theygot married.
But some years ago, when I washaving a conversation with my
(42:03):
grandmother this might have beenlike 15 years ago I was having
a conversation with mygrandmother and that's when I
had kind of said, hey, I alwayshad this feeling that Marietta I
mean, I know, if I was dyingand I had children that needed
taken care of and I knew myhusband was going to get
remarried, my only thought wouldbe about my kids, right?
And so I had speculated this.
(42:25):
And that's when my stepgrandmother confirmed that they
had talked about it.
Marietta had said why don't youmarry him?
You know they had this about it.
Marietta had said why don't youmarry him?
You know they had this wholeconversation.
And so well, so many peopleplace judgment on them, right?
So many people view that aslike sick and wrong.
And how could you do that?
How could you sleep with yoursister's husband and blah, blah,
(42:46):
blah, all this stuff Like why.
That was like who cares aboutthat?
Right, she's taking care of hernieces and nephews.
And for me, from my perspective, and my grandmother at the time
, my step-grandmother at thetime, said to me this worked out
(43:07):
for all of us, sorry, and youknow what.
She's right, because for me Iwould not if my grandfather
would marry just some randomperson.
I would not have had theability to know that side of my
family, which has brought megreat joy.
And I don't know that I'd behere right now, in this moment,
telling you this story, ifeverything didn't play out the
(43:30):
way that it played out, becauseif he would have married someone
else, maybe I wouldn't havebeen as close with him.
I don't know, I may have noteven had any interaction with my
step-grandmother, right?
I don't know.
So for me, yeah, I mean, I candefinitely look at it and say
and even when I think of theworst experiences in my life
(43:51):
that I've had, I know thateverything happens for a reason
and there is, as you always say,rebecca, honey and everything,
and I do all I can to pick thathoney out because you have
taught me well.
Good, because it is always there, no matter what it is no matter
how we want to label something,the honey's in there, exactly,
(44:11):
exactly, matter what it is, nomatter how we want to label
something.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
The honey's in there, exactly, exactly, and you know.
When we look at it that way,you begin to understand that
life isn't torturing anybody,that things aren't bad.
They might be unwanted orunliked sometimes and when you
start to unravel that, you don'tget so much of that because you
(44:35):
get easier about life and youstart to see that, okay, I might
not like this right now, butwhere's the honey, Where's the
good stuff?
And then the whole thing shiftsinto something that's not
torturous or not bad.
It may be still be unwanted,but you get.
You start to see the backstory,you know, and you start to see
(44:58):
that there is a really deep andvery interesting reason why
everything is occurring and wecan get the benefit always
getting it, but we get it.
Oftentimes people get it inreally long, drawn out, hard
ways and that's all right.
(45:25):
But that's another thing I'mtrying to get out there to
people is to lighten up, findthat ease, look for the honey,
because I care about everyperson, but I also care about
this whole thing that we havegoing on here on this planet.
I don't care about every person,but I also care about this
whole thing that we have goingon here on this planet.
We're shifting and the morepeople that are looking at what
is working and what they do likeand what they do want, the
better this is going to be, thesmoother it's going to go and
(45:49):
the more fun it's going to be.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
That all sounds wonderful to me, definitely.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
Well, you know, that piece, I'm going to leave that
in.
Oh good, I'll find a way toleave that in.
What happened on your cellphone with that song?
Okay, good, good, because itwas incredible timing, oh my.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
God, it was.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
They're so awesome Rebecca, it was a perfect song
yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
That's just so cool and right at the beginning, when
it says yes, I understand thatevery life must end.
That was exactly the sentence Iheard.
I mean, I don't know how thathappened.
I was not touching, I know howit happened.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
Well, yeah, we know exactly how it happened.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Oh, that's beautiful, I love it.
Oh, my goodness, I love it, Ilove it.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
Well, thanks, kimberly, I I really appreciate
you sharing the story.
This is really interestingstuff and and I really hope that
people listen to the ease inthis and understand that,
whether it's their death orsomebody else's death, ease is
available.
Even if you, they, have ahealth condition or an accident
(46:49):
what we call an accident, theease is there.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
I agree, it's a beautiful thing really.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
So thank you very much.
You're welcome very much.
So I want to thank everyone whohas listened to this and I
really want to give a nice shoutout to the people of
Pennsylvania.
There are a lot of people inPennsylvania listening to the
show and I appreciate you all.
If anyone would like somepersonal guidance or direction,
you can find me atmysticaltruthscom.
(47:22):
You.
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