January 29, 2024 • 44 mins
Have you ever put on that proverbial oxygen mask of self-care when life's cabin pressure drops? My latest heart-to-heart on Mz O In The Mix is a candid exploration of self-preservation, where I share tales of personal triumph and invite you to reflect on the forces that may be dwindling your own peace of mind. We peep behind the curtain of terms like "work-life balance" and "self-improvement," revealing the raw truth of protecting our mental, physical, and spiritual health.
Choosing yourself isn't selfish; it's essential, and that's the mantra we chant in this episode. We tackle the delicate art of saying no and the critical craft of setting boundaries, from the dinner table to the boardroom. The conversation sails through the choppy waters of authenticity and resilience, guiding you to navigate societal expectations and the distorted mirrors of social media with a steadfast compass of self-love.
Excitement is brewing in the Mz O universe as I spill the beans on our upcoming YouTube channel and the expansion of our podcast—visuals pending, but the voice remains. Wrapping up on a note of gratitude, I assure you that our journey is just beginning. So, if you're eager to embrace empowerment and reinforce your bastion of self-preservation amidst the chaos of our beautiful world, don't just stand there—join in, subscribe, and stay tuned for the adventure that awaits.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey everyone, and welcome back to another Mizzow
in a Mix.
Join us today as we discussself-preservation.
This here is a topic that Ifeel we don't talk about enough
(00:23):
or we beat around the bush whenwe do engage with this topic.
We call it work like balance,we call it getting in touch with
your higher self, we call itexercise, we call it aerobics,
(00:49):
we call it A New Year'sresolution, we call it so many
things.
But to tell you the truth, nomatter how you slice it, it's
still talking aboutself-preservation, and we only
(01:13):
scratch the surface.
We don't technically divereally deep into it.
Each and every one of us hassomething that we know is not in
(01:33):
our benefit and it is damagingour self-preservation.
So I want to talk about thattoday and, believe me, this will
only scratch the surface.
It won't dive as deep as wecould into it, but at least it
(01:58):
sparks the thought in your mindof what you should be doing to
help self-preserve who you are.
So get your pen and pad ready.
You'll have homework to do atthe end, guys, and if this is
(02:19):
your first time tuning in, Iwelcome you with open arms to
not a soul judgmental zone, justa little tough love.
Keep both hands on the wheeland eyes on the road, even while
laughing.
If there are small childrenaround, wear earbuds, because I
(02:39):
cut.
I have no control over it.
I don't wish to control it.
It's part of my personality.
You either take it or leave it.
You hate me or you love me.
I don't look for you to pat meon the back, I just look to be
authentically me and that's it.
If you are returning, welcomeback.
(03:01):
Guys.
You know I miss you and I thankyou so much for being
supportive of the show andsupportive of me and listening
to me babble, make these weirdjokes or just sound a little, I
guess, a little cringing attimes.
(03:22):
But I thank you.
I really do appreciate you.
So, of course, this is the yearof Manjia, business and Pacha
plants.
You know we're continuing onthis health journey, focusing on
our mental, physical andspiritual side.
As always, there's no politicson the show.
I don't like to discusspolitics.
(03:42):
I don't care to discussreligion.
Yes, the spiritual nature.
We all have some type ofspiritual, mystical part about
us, but I don't go into thosethings.
I might say some thingsperiodically as I'm an intuitive
reader and all that, but Idon't dive deep into religion.
There's other places andplatforms for that, yeah.
(04:05):
So let's dive on into it andlet's talk about some self
preservation, which I'm prettysure you're lacking in the same
as I am, all right now.
Oh, if you hear any weirdpauses is because I'm pausing
this thing, so I don't have acoughing spell, I'm not sick, I
(04:28):
just get this dryness is weirdand it's annoying and I don't
want to start drinking water,okay, and coffee is just ill, no
.
So if you hear like awkwardpauses, like why she pause right
there, I understand that Ipause this thing and I'm in a
coughing spell, but I'll return,okay.
(04:52):
So, with that being said, let'sjust jump on in here.
So let's start with selfpreservation.
The actual dictionarydefinition, or whatever you want
to say, self preservation isthe protection of oneself from
harm or debt, especiallyregarded as a basic instinct in
(05:17):
human beings and animals.
So that is one of the manydefinitions that is here.
And, to go further, I'll giveyou another little cliff note
that they have less in here.
That's what I call it Cliffnotes.
Self preservation is the actionof keeping yourself safe or
(05:39):
alive in a dangerous situation,often without thinking about
what you're doing.
That's, that's tough when youdon't think about it.
You just react.
(05:59):
You know, point of case,there's a dog chasing you and
you know that dog catches you isa 95% chance that that dog is
going to bite you.
And you know that dog is goingto bite you because that dog has
(06:25):
teeth.
That's all that matters.
The dog has teeth, so that dogis definitely going to bite you
in your mind.
So your instinct is to run andget your safety to self to
safety, and most of the timepeople do that.
(06:47):
Some people may decide not torun, but it's going to be based
off of how you feel.
Your reaction to dogsdetermines what your
self-preservation will be.
I know that that sounds likecommon sense, but to some people
(07:11):
it may not be, or commonknowledge for me, moving into a
different frame of this story,the self-preservation I'm
concerned about, for us at thiscurrent time, would be
(07:33):
self-preservation in oureveryday life now, the stress
that you receive between society, family, your nine to five,
(08:00):
being an entrepreneur, all thosethings you need to build
self-preservation tactics fornow.
How do you do that?
Have you done it?
(08:20):
That's my question for you.
Have you built self-preservingtactics for these things in life
, for things that may arise forwork.
We in.
I'm going to talk about work.
Yes, I am, because I work and Ihave a.
(08:44):
You know being an entrepreneurand then having a nine to five
also, and it can be extremelystressful whether you have the
extracurricular as anentrepreneur or not, or that
your main gig or your nine tofive is your main gig.
To each his own, I will say thatI realized that I was surviving
(09:12):
on or surviving on the whim.
I did not buildself-preservation tactics with,
you know, to sustain my life inthe work environment.
This is something that I'vebeen thinking of most recently.
(09:34):
I haven't been contemplatingthis for years.
I haven't worked all thesekinks out, but I it's come to my
attention, and this comes to myattention while I'm in
meditation or in my meditationis create, being creative and
doing my artwork and figuringout how do I make life better
(09:56):
for me so I can make life betterfor others.
So, in the circumstances ofworking for someone else or for
yourself, you, you know youspend a lot more time around the
people you work with than thepeople who are in your family or
(10:17):
outside of that environment,and lately I've come to realize
that you have to build inself-preserving tactics to help
(10:39):
you stay clear of the harmfulthings, the petty things, the
things that drain you, thethings that tell you you're not
good enough, the things that sayyou you don't add up, you are,
(11:00):
you are not as important as yousee yourself to be and I'm not
picking fun at my nine of five,I'm noticing this throughout all
my nine of fives about just theway people operate, and you can
take this wherever you want togo, if you is not just my at my
(11:25):
job and it's just not how I feel, but this should be how you
feel and how you see yourself.
From the, from the CEO of acompany down to the damn janitor
, we all need self-preservationtactics and some of those things
require big-ass boundaries.
(11:45):
Some of those things requireyou being able to say I'm enough
for what I do, but if I'm notvalued, you should be able to
walk away.
Now I'm not telling you to quityour job, I'm not telling you
to leave.
(12:06):
I'm telling you to build properboundaries and make people buy
by those boundaries.
Make it known how you feel.
Whether it's your family, yourmother, father, sister, brother,
(12:30):
grandfather's aunts, uncles, itdoesn't matter.
Your kids, it doesn't matter.
Set boundaries forself-preservation.
That's one of the things thatyou need to know and that's one
(12:51):
of the things that you need tounderstand and start working on
today is set boundaries.
Now you know you get homeworkfrom me.
I told you to write it down.
I will repeat it at the end,but one thing, like I said, to
(13:17):
do is learn to set boundaries.
People will only respect youand help to preserve you as long
as they need you.
(13:40):
Now, while we're talking, I'msewing, I'm trying to focus, but
my ADHD is at an all time hightoday, people, so just rock with
me on this.
So if you hear somethingpulling a dragon, is because I'm
sewing through canvas.
(14:01):
Anywho, setting boundaries helpsyou to sustain yourself just a
little longer.
For the things that you wouldwant to accomplish in life, the
(14:26):
things that you feel you need tosay.
There are some things that weknow we need to do, like work so
we can make money, we can eat,we can feed our family those
things that we know we need todo.
(14:47):
And then there are the thingswe know we want to do for
ourselves in life and goals wewant to achieve.
But the only way we can beginto accomplish anything outside
of the things that we need to dois by self preservation and
(15:12):
with that, like I said, you haveto set boundaries, and
boundaries sound so mean.
Oh my God, it sounds like theend of the world to some people.
When you decide that you justnot going to take they should
know more you decide that you'regoing to stand up for yourself
(15:36):
and you're going to show peoplewhat you're willing to do and
what the hell you're not willingto do.
People get really offended bythat.
Oh my God.
How could you, how could I loveand respect myself?
How could I end a friendshipbecause you treat me like crap?
(15:57):
How could I?
You know it mean.
You can go on and on and on.
How could I just choose myselffirst?
That's a nasty one, but in selfpreservation, you need to choose
(16:20):
yourself first.
That's another one right down,right down.
You need to choose yourselffirst.
The same situation when you'reon an airplane, right, and the
(16:47):
mask fall down and they tell youcover or put your mask on
yourself first.
Well, what the heck do youthink happens?
(17:11):
For self preservation, you needto choose yourself first.
It's not a bad thing.
People will say it's just soselfish.
No, the hell, it's not, becauseI guarantee you that's the same
(17:34):
person that choosing themselvesover you.
They choosing themselves first.
So when are you going to riseup and start choosing yourself
first?
When are you going to take apage out of the person's book?
That's not thinking twice aboutyou, but they thinking about
(18:00):
themselves because theyunderstand self preservation and
they understand it better thanyou do.
They understand that if theydon't take care of themselves,
who the hell else is going to?
If they don't make sure thattheir bills are paid, if they
(18:22):
don't make sure that they arebeing satisfied in life First,
before extending help to others,they know nobody's going to
come and rescue them.
They know that they are harmingthemselves.
(18:47):
I'm not saying don't help anyone, no.
I'm not saying don't work alittle hard at your job
sometimes because, hell, itneeds to happen.
I'm not saying any of that.
What I am saying is make sure.
Make sure that you have enoughin your tank for yourself and
(19:22):
your needs before you startgiving out extra.
Now this is the same thing withfriends, family, kids,
everything.
How much more can you give ifyou haven't taken the proper
(19:43):
precautions to put enough inyour tank for yourself first?
Who can you be mad at If youhaven't built end.
I said built end.
No, no, no.
Built in the different tacticsthat you need in order to keep
(20:13):
yourself from harm Going back.
I want you to think about whatI say at work with your family.
I want you to think about thelast time you told them no.
(20:33):
I want you to think about thelast time that person told you
no, that wanted something fromyou.
I want you to think about howare you going to build in
(21:01):
boundaries.
I'm built in a boundary rightnow.
Some people say that you know,oh, people who want podcast.
You know.
You know you got to have a goodquality podcast.
(21:21):
Oh, you don't hear all thatnoise in the background.
I say hell, I got a message togive you.
If you don't want it, don'tlisten, but I'm gonna do what I
need to do.
So if you hear anything in thebackground, you need to mind
your business and get themessage that's being delivered,
not Looking for extra clarity.
I'm being real.
At this point You're getting me.
(21:43):
If you were sitting here in mystudio right now on my couch at
the cozy cottage, I would stillbe sewing and talking shit to
you.
Self preservation, I am notChanging those things,
(22:05):
especially when it's on my time,on my budget, and I'm providing
, I Want to say, helpfulmaterial.
It may not be the crystal clearthing.
I'm not a Audio person.
This is not that type of studio, but I'm having a conversation
(22:26):
with my friend Now.
On the other hand, if this wasmy nine to five and they had
certain rules and things that Icould not do, then I would abide
by those rules.
But I will also have built insome preservation to remain as
(22:50):
authentically me as possible andI Can't show, wouldn't be doing
it in my studio on my time andyou know I would be sticking to
the nine to five time but stilldelivering effective, great
(23:12):
content.
That boundary only took outpretty much my studio.
The coziness of it.
It's still let me beauthentically me.
It just I had to do it onsomeone else's time because
they're paying me.
That's part of my selfpreservation.
I mean, I won't be.
(23:33):
I can still be me, but I can'tsew my canvas the way I want and
have the conversation.
I have to be in a studio and Ihave to sit in a chair and I
have to Abide by whatever thecompany standards are.
But I'm doing it in my way too,because I'm still giving you me
(23:54):
true parts of me and when I saythat you might true party,
you're just doing a job.
You damn right.
I'm just doing my job, but I'mdoing it with my skill and still
putting my spin on it, stillbeing me.
I'm still choosing me first.
(24:16):
There rules to follow, but Istill need to be me.
So for some places that youcan't express yourself in and
things that get a little bitharder are with family and Self
(24:39):
preservation.
When you have family involvedor friends, loved ones, period,
it's harder.
It's a little harder to say no.
It's a little easier to feelused after a while and it
(25:06):
becomes a little D daunting anddiscouraging To feel taking
advantage of by your family,like feel like your family is
putting you in harm's way andnot really thinking of who you
are.
And we go through it ascaretakers.
We feel used.
(25:37):
I'm going to be real.
We just feel used by you, feelused by your children.
You feel used by your parents,you feel used by your best
friend.
Sometimes we feel usedsometimes and I think that
feeling used comes from nothaving that self preservation
(25:59):
tactic installed of what youneed to do for yourself and what
you need to feel in your lifeand how you need to feel.
We can expect, we cannot expectpeople to respect how we feel
(26:24):
if we haven't expressed it andwhat we need to feel is to be
honest and how you feel.
Self preservation requireshonesty.
(26:45):
Let's go back to that one day,running from that dog that's
chasing you.
You are afraid and since youare afraid, you are going to run
and you can try to stand in andbe big and bad and act all cute
in front of whatever girl orguy that's standing there and go
(27:11):
ahead and get that ass choppedup.
Go ahead and let Fido come andhave a snack attack on you,
because that's what you're letyou.
You're let happening.
Am I saying that right?
I don't think so.
That's what you are lettinghappen to you.
(27:32):
When you don't, when you Don'ttell people how you really feel,
you're letting and well, you'rewelcoming see, that's another
thing you're welcoming people Totreat you however the hell they
(27:57):
feel you should be treated.
Let me tell you the first thingis not for people to treat you
like freaking Gardenas andviolets and shit roses stinking
my thing I like about thesethings.
So I Want to say garden is Ilike those little bit better
(28:17):
Jasmine's, but anyway, you getmy drip.
Let you know.
People want to treat you howthe hell.
They want to treat you downlike your ass.
They don't treat you like.
Unlike her, I like him.
They think they've been in usand that's not the way to be.
(28:39):
But that's how people can be.
So it is your Choice whether youare going to take it or if you
are going to say you know, it'stime for me to start letting
people know the truth of how Ifeel about them without me.
(29:01):
Learn about.
Am I hurting your feelings?
Am I being a good person?
It's time for you to starttelling the truth so you can
start preserving who you are asa person and stop learning about
what the hell people arethinking About you.
You deserve so much more.
(29:27):
You deserve better than that,and that goes for your job, that
goes for your employees.
If you are Entrepreneur, thatgoes for your clients.
You know, and the hard part is,you know what you want.
Piss some people off.
You are going to piss a lot ofpeople off, because this is
(29:48):
something new, this is somethingunexpected.
Who the hell told you to get abackbone?
Who the hell told you?
Who in the hell Told you thatyou were enough.
This is real peopleSelf-preservation you have to
(30:14):
build that shit.
Nowadays, you, we don't comeequipped with that.
Life has changed drasticallyFrom social media Time to deal
with that.
People putting up fronts likethese living these extravagant,
wonderful lives and stuff andthey live this wallet apart,
(30:38):
just like you a shit.
Worse, you really think youlike that bad.
And, on the other end, peoplepretending they actually putting
up full vacation fonts and Justit's just all this wild stuff
going on.
People are finding that theyhave to pretend in order To
(31:06):
believe they haveself-preservation in their lives
.
They have, they have More thanwhat they actually have.
Listen, I don't have time forall of that.
You might, I don't.
I Am nowhere where I like to beand if you sit in your thinking
(31:27):
I got it together because I Gota podcast, sweetheart, email me
.
I'll show you how to get one.
There's no big damn secret.
If you feel like you got amessage to share, then share it.
This is the time.
There's so many ways for Peopleto be seen and heard these days.
(31:53):
It's just having the courage todo it there.
There's nothing that I havethat you can't act.
That's anyone talking to well,and there's no one talking to me
.
Is me talking to you holdingmess?
Okay, hold your mess, hold yourmess.
People is getting messy rightnow.
(32:13):
I'm not drinking.
I should be, but I'm not.
But Is no one talking to me?
Is me talking to you?
But I Lower head mercy tothings that I do to myself.
I'm trying to stab myself withhis needle, cuz it's big in um,
(32:38):
I'm nervous and I'm talking toyou guys and trying to stay
focused.
But, yeah, I'm doing somethingthat I'm afraid of right now.
One I'm afraid cuz I think I'ma jack-of-the-canvas.
I don't know what I'm doing,but I'm just being creative.
But it's part of myself-preservation.
(33:00):
I have to try new things.
I have to.
If I'm not trying new things,part of my personality is, you
know, I feel like I'm losing mybrain cells, I feel like I'm
drowning and, yes, that thatit's.
It is something that I feel,it's a feeling that I get and
(33:27):
it's serious.
So I'm always constantly doingthings and piling things on.
I Don't know if you're that wayor not, but you're not alone if
you are, and Most of society'slike that too.
We're constantly Piling thingson, which brings me into our
next, the next part of thislittle chit chat is For.
(33:54):
Self-preservation is why do youhave so much on your damn plate?
Why don't we constantly feelthat we need to have all this
stuff on our plate?
I'm contemplating half the crapthat I'm doing these days
(34:16):
trying to figure out why Do Ihave so much stuff Gather on my
plate?
And it's like self-preservationagain.
Simplify your life and that'sit.
(34:48):
This is the last one I willleave you with today.
I probably do a part twobecause I've missed the episode,
so we could continue this selfpreservation topic and I'm a
little right into the secondpart.
But simplifying your life,that's the third thing I want to
(35:08):
give you today.
I probably gave you more nuggetsthan that, but actually
deciding that you have too muchgoing on and you need to cut
some of that mess out is okay.
(35:29):
For some reason, I feel likewe've begun to overfill our
plates and like wait, we gottago to someone's soul's baseball
game.
Johnny's got a baseball game,sarah's got a girl's got a thing
.
Oh, my God, lacrosse.
Someone's soul's going to this.
(35:49):
I'm going to this play tonight.
I'm going to that party onFriday.
I'm going to God.
Sit down, just sit down.
It feels like we've become so,so worried about not having
(36:20):
anything to do that we packedour schedule so full of
everything to do Besides love onourselves.
Pack your schedule with some ofthat.
Everybody is so busy being busy, they just have no time to live
(36:53):
.
Make your busy, not that busyand I know I was like what the
hell does she mean?
Make your busy, not that busy?
I mean exactly how I just saidit.
I just make your busy, not thatbusy.
(37:31):
Decide You're going to starttaking some shit away from
yourself.
Decide some days, not even somedays, hell.
Start with one day a week.
Give yourself one day a week todo nothing.
(37:51):
I mean after the stuff you knowyou have to do, like in this
society, we got to work so wecan eat and make sure your kids
ain't stinking and make sureyourself not stinking.
You know what I'm saying Likeshower and when you hit that
depression state is real hardfor somebody out there.
If you're feeling down in thedumps and depressed, get up and
(38:12):
shower, do your hair, brush yourteeth, shave all those things.
Fight yourself, just don'tfight yourself.
Fight, just get up and dosomething for yourself.
Society has a so pressured thatadding one more thing to your
(38:39):
plate like a therapist.
You got to be a business person.
You got to have 50 streams ofincome to survive.
You got to do this, you got todo that.
You don't have to do a damnthing.
You got to wake up.
You got to make enough money tojust eat.
All the food is all jacked upanyway.
(39:01):
Eat as healthy as you can andyou live like.
Read a book, sit on the beach,hell.
Sit on your font porch.
Cut the TV off, cut the radiooff, but just sit.
And if you don't have a porch,get a chance, sit by your damn
(39:23):
window and just sit.
Just sit.
You don't have to keep fillingyour schedule with so many
things to do, just sit down.
(39:48):
All right, guys, I have talkedto you for almost 40 minutes, so
we'll continue this.
I'm going to go to a part two.
So that was just going to bethe next show or the I'm going
to put out.
I'm putting out to these.
So so we'll connect on part twofor a few more tips, because
(40:14):
self preservation is a hardtopic.
It's a boundary that needs tobe built.
It's personal, it's, it'smystical, it's taboo, it is a
(40:47):
little frightening, it's alittle joy, it's a little bit of
a lot of things, but it's foryou and within that, self
preservation says it's enough ofyou when you're willing to tell
(41:09):
people, this is what I'm givingyou of me, but that's all I'm
willing to give you of me, andonce you tell them, you stand by
it that my sweetheart is yourboundary.
(41:32):
So I'm going to join you onpart two.
I thank you all for listening tome today.
I would just like to pass thison Please subscribe to our
podcast here.
I'm going to get this YouTubechannel up and going so you can
look in the description and youcan go head over and at least
(41:56):
join the YouTube page.
I'm going to find somebody tohelp me get these videos up
there and make videos for them.
It'll just be me talking rightnow.
It's not going to be any liveinterviews yet with people or
any interviews with others Notjust yet, but we're going to get
there so you can always donateto the show and get a shout out
(42:20):
on our next episode.
I just want to say I appreciateyou and I'll see you next time.
You're enough.
You just need some selfpreservation tactics.
Okay, guys, I love you and Iwill talk to you really soon.
Hey everyone, and welcome back to another Mizzow
in a Mix.
Join us today as we discussself-preservation.
This here is a topic that Ifeel we don't talk about enough
(00:23):
or we beat around the bush whenwe do engage with this topic.
We call it work like balance,we call it getting in touch with
your higher self, we call itexercise, we call it aerobics,
(00:49):
we call it A New Year'sresolution, we call it so many
things.
But to tell you the truth, nomatter how you slice it, it's
still talking aboutself-preservation, and we only
(01:13):
scratch the surface.
We don't technically divereally deep into it.
Each and every one of us hassomething that we know is not in
(01:33):
our benefit and it is damagingour self-preservation.
So I want to talk about thattoday and, believe me, this will
only scratch the surface.
It won't dive as deep as wecould into it, but at least it
(01:58):
sparks the thought in your mindof what you should be doing to
help self-preserve who you are.
So get your pen and pad ready.
You'll have homework to do atthe end, guys, and if this is
(02:19):
your first time tuning in, Iwelcome you with open arms to
not a soul judgmental zone, justa little tough love.
Keep both hands on the wheeland eyes on the road, even while
laughing.
If there are small childrenaround, wear earbuds, because I
(02:39):
cut.
I have no control over it.
I don't wish to control it.
It's part of my personality.
You either take it or leave it.
You hate me or you love me.
I don't look for you to pat meon the back, I just look to be
authentically me and that's it.
If you are returning, welcomeback.
(03:01):
Guys.
You know I miss you and I thankyou so much for being
supportive of the show andsupportive of me and listening
to me babble, make these weirdjokes or just sound a little, I
guess, a little cringing attimes.
(03:22):
But I thank you.
I really do appreciate you.
So, of course, this is the yearof Manjia, business and Pacha
plants.
You know we're continuing onthis health journey, focusing on
our mental, physical andspiritual side.
As always, there's no politicson the show.
I don't like to discusspolitics.
(03:42):
I don't care to discussreligion.
Yes, the spiritual nature.
We all have some type ofspiritual, mystical part about
us, but I don't go into thosethings.
I might say some thingsperiodically as I'm an intuitive
reader and all that, but Idon't dive deep into religion.
There's other places andplatforms for that, yeah.
(04:05):
So let's dive on into it andlet's talk about some self
preservation, which I'm prettysure you're lacking in the same
as I am, all right now.
Oh, if you hear any weirdpauses is because I'm pausing
this thing, so I don't have acoughing spell, I'm not sick, I
(04:28):
just get this dryness is weirdand it's annoying and I don't
want to start drinking water,okay, and coffee is just ill, no
.
So if you hear like awkwardpauses, like why she pause right
there, I understand that Ipause this thing and I'm in a
coughing spell, but I'll return,okay.
(04:52):
So, with that being said, let'sjust jump on in here.
So let's start with selfpreservation.
The actual dictionarydefinition, or whatever you want
to say, self preservation isthe protection of oneself from
harm or debt, especiallyregarded as a basic instinct in
(05:17):
human beings and animals.
So that is one of the manydefinitions that is here.
And, to go further, I'll giveyou another little cliff note
that they have less in here.
That's what I call it Cliffnotes.
Self preservation is the actionof keeping yourself safe or
(05:39):
alive in a dangerous situation,often without thinking about
what you're doing.
That's, that's tough when youdon't think about it.
You just react.
(05:59):
You know, point of case,there's a dog chasing you and
you know that dog catches you isa 95% chance that that dog is
going to bite you.
And you know that dog is goingto bite you because that dog has
(06:25):
teeth.
That's all that matters.
The dog has teeth, so that dogis definitely going to bite you
in your mind.
So your instinct is to run andget your safety to self to
safety, and most of the timepeople do that.
(06:47):
Some people may decide not torun, but it's going to be based
off of how you feel.
Your reaction to dogsdetermines what your
self-preservation will be.
I know that that sounds likecommon sense, but to some people
(07:11):
it may not be, or commonknowledge for me, moving into a
different frame of this story,the self-preservation I'm
concerned about, for us at thiscurrent time, would be
(07:33):
self-preservation in oureveryday life now, the stress
that you receive between society, family, your nine to five,
(08:00):
being an entrepreneur, all thosethings you need to build
self-preservation tactics fornow.
How do you do that?
Have you done it?
(08:20):
That's my question for you.
Have you built self-preservingtactics for these things in life
, for things that may arise forwork.
We in.
I'm going to talk about work.
Yes, I am, because I work and Ihave a.
(08:44):
You know being an entrepreneurand then having a nine to five
also, and it can be extremelystressful whether you have the
extracurricular as anentrepreneur or not, or that
your main gig or your nine tofive is your main gig.
To each his own, I will say thatI realized that I was surviving
(09:12):
on or surviving on the whim.
I did not buildself-preservation tactics with,
you know, to sustain my life inthe work environment.
This is something that I'vebeen thinking of most recently.
(09:34):
I haven't been contemplatingthis for years.
I haven't worked all thesekinks out, but I it's come to my
attention, and this comes to myattention while I'm in
meditation or in my meditationis create, being creative and
doing my artwork and figuringout how do I make life better
(09:56):
for me so I can make life betterfor others.
So, in the circumstances ofworking for someone else or for
yourself, you, you know youspend a lot more time around the
people you work with than thepeople who are in your family or
(10:17):
outside of that environment,and lately I've come to realize
that you have to build inself-preserving tactics to help
(10:39):
you stay clear of the harmfulthings, the petty things, the
things that drain you, thethings that tell you you're not
good enough, the things that sayyou you don't add up, you are,
(11:00):
you are not as important as yousee yourself to be and I'm not
picking fun at my nine of five,I'm noticing this throughout all
my nine of fives about just theway people operate, and you can
take this wherever you want togo, if you is not just my at my
(11:25):
job and it's just not how I feel, but this should be how you
feel and how you see yourself.
From the, from the CEO of acompany down to the damn janitor
, we all need self-preservationtactics and some of those things
require big-ass boundaries.
(11:45):
Some of those things requireyou being able to say I'm enough
for what I do, but if I'm notvalued, you should be able to
walk away.
Now I'm not telling you to quityour job, I'm not telling you
to leave.
(12:06):
I'm telling you to build properboundaries and make people buy
by those boundaries.
Make it known how you feel.
Whether it's your family, yourmother, father, sister, brother,
(12:30):
grandfather's aunts, uncles, itdoesn't matter.
Your kids, it doesn't matter.
Set boundaries forself-preservation.
That's one of the things thatyou need to know and that's one
(12:51):
of the things that you need tounderstand and start working on
today is set boundaries.
Now you know you get homeworkfrom me.
I told you to write it down.
I will repeat it at the end,but one thing, like I said, to
(13:17):
do is learn to set boundaries.
People will only respect youand help to preserve you as long
as they need you.
(13:40):
Now, while we're talking, I'msewing, I'm trying to focus, but
my ADHD is at an all time hightoday, people, so just rock with
me on this.
So if you hear somethingpulling a dragon, is because I'm
sewing through canvas.
(14:01):
Anywho, setting boundaries helpsyou to sustain yourself just a
little longer.
For the things that you wouldwant to accomplish in life, the
(14:26):
things that you feel you need tosay.
There are some things that weknow we need to do, like work so
we can make money, we can eat,we can feed our family those
things that we know we need todo.
(14:47):
And then there are the thingswe know we want to do for
ourselves in life and goals wewant to achieve.
But the only way we can beginto accomplish anything outside
of the things that we need to dois by self preservation and
(15:12):
with that, like I said, you haveto set boundaries, and
boundaries sound so mean.
Oh my God, it sounds like theend of the world to some people.
When you decide that you justnot going to take they should
know more you decide that you'regoing to stand up for yourself
(15:36):
and you're going to show peoplewhat you're willing to do and
what the hell you're not willingto do.
People get really offended bythat.
Oh my God.
How could you, how could I loveand respect myself?
How could I end a friendshipbecause you treat me like crap?
(15:57):
How could I?
You know it mean.
You can go on and on and on.
How could I just choose myselffirst?
That's a nasty one, but in selfpreservation, you need to choose
(16:20):
yourself first.
That's another one right down,right down.
You need to choose yourselffirst.
The same situation when you'reon an airplane, right, and the
(16:47):
mask fall down and they tell youcover or put your mask on
yourself first.
Well, what the heck do youthink happens?
(17:11):
For self preservation, you needto choose yourself first.
It's not a bad thing.
People will say it's just soselfish.
No, the hell, it's not, becauseI guarantee you that's the same
(17:34):
person that choosing themselvesover you.
They choosing themselves first.
So when are you going to riseup and start choosing yourself
first?
When are you going to take apage out of the person's book?
That's not thinking twice aboutyou, but they thinking about
(18:00):
themselves because theyunderstand self preservation and
they understand it better thanyou do.
They understand that if theydon't take care of themselves,
who the hell else is going to?
If they don't make sure thattheir bills are paid, if they
(18:22):
don't make sure that they arebeing satisfied in life First,
before extending help to others,they know nobody's going to
come and rescue them.
They know that they are harmingthemselves.
(18:47):
I'm not saying don't help anyone, no.
I'm not saying don't work alittle hard at your job
sometimes because, hell, itneeds to happen.
I'm not saying any of that.
What I am saying is make sure.
Make sure that you have enoughin your tank for yourself and
(19:22):
your needs before you startgiving out extra.
Now this is the same thing withfriends, family, kids,
everything.
How much more can you give ifyou haven't taken the proper
(19:43):
precautions to put enough inyour tank for yourself first?
Who can you be mad at If youhaven't built end.
I said built end.
No, no, no.
Built in the different tacticsthat you need in order to keep
(20:13):
yourself from harm Going back.
I want you to think about whatI say at work with your family.
I want you to think about thelast time you told them no.
(20:33):
I want you to think about thelast time that person told you
no, that wanted something fromyou.
I want you to think about howare you going to build in
(21:01):
boundaries.
I'm built in a boundary rightnow.
Some people say that you know,oh, people who want podcast.
You know.
You know you got to have a goodquality podcast.
(21:21):
Oh, you don't hear all thatnoise in the background.
I say hell, I got a message togive you.
If you don't want it, don'tlisten, but I'm gonna do what I
need to do.
So if you hear anything in thebackground, you need to mind
your business and get themessage that's being delivered,
not Looking for extra clarity.
I'm being real.
At this point You're getting me.
(21:43):
If you were sitting here in mystudio right now on my couch at
the cozy cottage, I would stillbe sewing and talking shit to
you.
Self preservation, I am notChanging those things,
(22:05):
especially when it's on my time,on my budget, and I'm providing
, I Want to say, helpfulmaterial.
It may not be the crystal clearthing.
I'm not a Audio person.
This is not that type of studio, but I'm having a conversation
(22:26):
with my friend Now.
On the other hand, if this wasmy nine to five and they had
certain rules and things that Icould not do, then I would abide
by those rules.
But I will also have built insome preservation to remain as
(22:50):
authentically me as possible andI Can't show, wouldn't be doing
it in my studio on my time andyou know I would be sticking to
the nine to five time but stilldelivering effective, great
(23:12):
content.
That boundary only took outpretty much my studio.
The coziness of it.
It's still let me beauthentically me.
It just I had to do it onsomeone else's time because
they're paying me.
That's part of my selfpreservation.
I mean, I won't be.
(23:33):
I can still be me, but I can'tsew my canvas the way I want and
have the conversation.
I have to be in a studio and Ihave to sit in a chair and I
have to Abide by whatever thecompany standards are.
But I'm doing it in my way too,because I'm still giving you me
(23:54):
true parts of me and when I saythat you might true party,
you're just doing a job.
You damn right.
I'm just doing my job, but I'mdoing it with my skill and still
putting my spin on it, stillbeing me.
I'm still choosing me first.
(24:16):
There rules to follow, but Istill need to be me.
So for some places that youcan't express yourself in and
things that get a little bitharder are with family and Self
(24:39):
preservation.
When you have family involvedor friends, loved ones, period,
it's harder.
It's a little harder to say no.
It's a little easier to feelused after a while and it
(25:06):
becomes a little D daunting anddiscouraging To feel taking
advantage of by your family,like feel like your family is
putting you in harm's way andnot really thinking of who you
are.
And we go through it ascaretakers.
We feel used.
(25:37):
I'm going to be real.
We just feel used by you, feelused by your children.
You feel used by your parents,you feel used by your best
friend.
Sometimes we feel usedsometimes and I think that
feeling used comes from nothaving that self preservation
(25:59):
tactic installed of what youneed to do for yourself and what
you need to feel in your lifeand how you need to feel.
We can expect, we cannot expectpeople to respect how we feel
(26:24):
if we haven't expressed it andwhat we need to feel is to be
honest and how you feel.
Self preservation requireshonesty.
(26:45):
Let's go back to that one day,running from that dog that's
chasing you.
You are afraid and since youare afraid, you are going to run
and you can try to stand in andbe big and bad and act all cute
in front of whatever girl orguy that's standing there and go
(27:11):
ahead and get that ass choppedup.
Go ahead and let Fido come andhave a snack attack on you,
because that's what you're letyou.
You're let happening.
Am I saying that right?
I don't think so.
That's what you are lettinghappen to you.
(27:32):
When you don't, when you Don'ttell people how you really feel,
you're letting and well, you'rewelcoming see, that's another
thing you're welcoming people Totreat you however the hell they
(27:57):
feel you should be treated.
Let me tell you the first thingis not for people to treat you
like freaking Gardenas andviolets and shit roses stinking
my thing I like about thesethings.
So I Want to say garden is Ilike those little bit better
(28:17):
Jasmine's, but anyway, you getmy drip.
Let you know.
People want to treat you howthe hell.
They want to treat you downlike your ass.
They don't treat you like.
Unlike her, I like him.
They think they've been in usand that's not the way to be.
(28:39):
But that's how people can be.
So it is your Choice whether youare going to take it or if you
are going to say you know, it'stime for me to start letting
people know the truth of how Ifeel about them without me.
(29:01):
Learn about.
Am I hurting your feelings?
Am I being a good person?
It's time for you to starttelling the truth so you can
start preserving who you are asa person and stop learning about
what the hell people arethinking About you.
You deserve so much more.
(29:27):
You deserve better than that,and that goes for your job, that
goes for your employees.
If you are Entrepreneur, thatgoes for your clients.
You know, and the hard part is,you know what you want.
Piss some people off.
You are going to piss a lot ofpeople off, because this is
(29:48):
something new, this is somethingunexpected.
Who the hell told you to get abackbone?
Who the hell told you?
Who in the hell Told you thatyou were enough.
This is real peopleSelf-preservation you have to
(30:14):
build that shit.
Nowadays, you, we don't comeequipped with that.
Life has changed drasticallyFrom social media Time to deal
with that.
People putting up fronts likethese living these extravagant,
wonderful lives and stuff andthey live this wallet apart,
(30:38):
just like you a shit.
Worse, you really think youlike that bad.
And, on the other end, peoplepretending they actually putting
up full vacation fonts and Justit's just all this wild stuff
going on.
People are finding that theyhave to pretend in order To
(31:06):
believe they haveself-preservation in their lives
.
They have, they have More thanwhat they actually have.
Listen, I don't have time forall of that.
You might, I don't.
I Am nowhere where I like to beand if you sit in your thinking
(31:27):
I got it together because I Gota podcast, sweetheart, email me
.
I'll show you how to get one.
There's no big damn secret.
If you feel like you got amessage to share, then share it.
This is the time.
There's so many ways for Peopleto be seen and heard these days.
(31:53):
It's just having the courage todo it there.
There's nothing that I havethat you can't act.
That's anyone talking to well,and there's no one talking to me
.
Is me talking to you holdingmess?
Okay, hold your mess, hold yourmess.
People is getting messy rightnow.
(32:13):
I'm not drinking.
I should be, but I'm not.
But Is no one talking to me?
Is me talking to you?
But I Lower head mercy tothings that I do to myself.
I'm trying to stab myself withhis needle, cuz it's big in um,
(32:38):
I'm nervous and I'm talking toyou guys and trying to stay
focused.
But, yeah, I'm doing somethingthat I'm afraid of right now.
One I'm afraid cuz I think I'ma jack-of-the-canvas.
I don't know what I'm doing,but I'm just being creative.
But it's part of myself-preservation.
(33:00):
I have to try new things.
I have to.
If I'm not trying new things,part of my personality is, you
know, I feel like I'm losing mybrain cells, I feel like I'm
drowning and, yes, that thatit's.
It is something that I feel,it's a feeling that I get and
(33:27):
it's serious.
So I'm always constantly doingthings and piling things on.
I Don't know if you're that wayor not, but you're not alone if
you are, and Most of society'slike that too.
We're constantly Piling thingson, which brings me into our
next, the next part of thislittle chit chat is For.
(33:54):
Self-preservation is why do youhave so much on your damn plate?
Why don't we constantly feelthat we need to have all this
stuff on our plate?
I'm contemplating half the crapthat I'm doing these days
(34:16):
trying to figure out why Do Ihave so much stuff Gather on my
plate?
And it's like self-preservationagain.
Simplify your life and that'sit.
(34:48):
This is the last one I willleave you with today.
I probably do a part twobecause I've missed the episode,
so we could continue this selfpreservation topic and I'm a
little right into the secondpart.
But simplifying your life,that's the third thing I want to
(35:08):
give you today.
I probably gave you more nuggetsthan that, but actually
deciding that you have too muchgoing on and you need to cut
some of that mess out is okay.
(35:29):
For some reason, I feel likewe've begun to overfill our
plates and like wait, we gottago to someone's soul's baseball
game.
Johnny's got a baseball game,sarah's got a girl's got a thing
.
Oh, my God, lacrosse.
Someone's soul's going to this.
(35:49):
I'm going to this play tonight.
I'm going to that party onFriday.
I'm going to God.
Sit down, just sit down.
It feels like we've become so,so worried about not having
(36:20):
anything to do that we packedour schedule so full of
everything to do Besides love onourselves.
Pack your schedule with some ofthat.
Everybody is so busy being busy, they just have no time to live
(36:53):
.
Make your busy, not that busyand I know I was like what the
hell does she mean?
Make your busy, not that busy?
I mean exactly how I just saidit.
I just make your busy, not thatbusy.
(37:31):
Decide You're going to starttaking some shit away from
yourself.
Decide some days, not even somedays, hell.
Start with one day a week.
Give yourself one day a week todo nothing.
(37:51):
I mean after the stuff you knowyou have to do, like in this
society, we got to work so wecan eat and make sure your kids
ain't stinking and make sureyourself not stinking.
You know what I'm saying Likeshower and when you hit that
depression state is real hardfor somebody out there.
If you're feeling down in thedumps and depressed, get up and
(38:12):
shower, do your hair, brush yourteeth, shave all those things.
Fight yourself, just don'tfight yourself.
Fight, just get up and dosomething for yourself.
Society has a so pressured thatadding one more thing to your
(38:39):
plate like a therapist.
You got to be a business person.
You got to have 50 streams ofincome to survive.
You got to do this, you got todo that.
You don't have to do a damnthing.
You got to wake up.
You got to make enough money tojust eat.
All the food is all jacked upanyway.
(39:01):
Eat as healthy as you can andyou live like.
Read a book, sit on the beach,hell.
Sit on your font porch.
Cut the TV off, cut the radiooff, but just sit.
And if you don't have a porch,get a chance, sit by your damn
(39:23):
window and just sit.
Just sit.
You don't have to keep fillingyour schedule with so many
things to do, just sit down.
(39:48):
All right, guys, I have talkedto you for almost 40 minutes, so
we'll continue this.
I'm going to go to a part two.
So that was just going to bethe next show or the I'm going
to put out.
I'm putting out to these.
So so we'll connect on part twofor a few more tips, because
(40:14):
self preservation is a hardtopic.
It's a boundary that needs tobe built.
It's personal, it's, it'smystical, it's taboo, it is a
(40:47):
little frightening, it's alittle joy, it's a little bit of
a lot of things, but it's foryou and within that, self
preservation says it's enough ofyou when you're willing to tell
(41:09):
people, this is what I'm givingyou of me, but that's all I'm
willing to give you of me, andonce you tell them, you stand by
it that my sweetheart is yourboundary.
(41:32):
So I'm going to join you onpart two.
I thank you all for listening tome today.
I would just like to pass thison Please subscribe to our
podcast here.
I'm going to get this YouTubechannel up and going so you can
look in the description and youcan go head over and at least
(41:56):
join the YouTube page.
I'm going to find somebody tohelp me get these videos up
there and make videos for them.
It'll just be me talking rightnow.
It's not going to be any liveinterviews yet with people or
any interviews with others Notjust yet, but we're going to get
there so you can always donateto the show and get a shout out
(42:20):
on our next episode.
I just want to say I appreciateyou and I'll see you next time.
You're enough.
You just need some selfpreservation tactics.
Okay, guys, I love you and Iwill talk to you really soon.
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