California : Nikki Cheng-Saelee McCain

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We want to think. We want to thank Chloe. I
want to thank you for trusting us, allowing us to share,
trusting the story share Chloe Store.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
We want to thank Chloe and Kay for allowing episodes
shared story written and trusting by us.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Many of our broadcasts have had a considered.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Friends social media out and if you would like moreimation
the podcast, you can follow us.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Also, if you would like about.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
Impact already found upcoming, please head for navigating our nonprofit
Impact Foundation. Head up in my nine Navigating Advocacy three
dot com text begin to eight eight seven eight eight,
or chat at the hotline dot org. Today on navigating advocacy,

(00:54):
we are sharing the story of Nikki Chang s Lee McCain,
a beautiful mother, sister, and daughter.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
I'm Whitney and I'm Melissa.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
Nicki was a woman who embodied positivity, humor, and compassion
even in the face of adversity. Her story is a
reminder that sometimes even the most vibrant and loving people
can face hidden struggles. Niki was born in a refugee
camp in Thailand on November ninth, nineteen eighty four. Her parents,

(01:31):
originally from Laos, had fled the aftermath of the Vietnam
War seeking refuge in Thailand. Her family's journey was filled
with hardship, but also a profound sense of hope. After
years in the camp, Nicki's family moved to Seattle, Washington,
where they would settle and reunite with extended family. Growing up,

(01:55):
Niki was the third oldest of seven children, and her
family's bond was unbreakable. Nicky's sister Kay remembers how they
were raised in this close knit community, always surrounded by
cousins and extended relatives who really shared their culture and

(02:16):
their history. In fact, Nicky's relationship with her siblings was
described as not just close, but also grounded in this
shared sense of joy. They all came from the same place.
They all experienced something that a lot of their peers

(02:36):
in school or their work might not have experienced, which
brought them so much closer together. From early childhood to adulthood,
they would often call each other, message in group chats,
and spend time together, whether that was shopping, grabbing a Starbucks,
or just driving around looking at houses. I'm very close

(03:00):
with all of my siblings, and I know there's just
like a bond like no other with siblings, especially if
you grow up in rougher times, through tragedy, and you
come out on the other side. It's something that brings
you so much closer together. Nicki wasn't just this loving sister.
She was known for her vibrant personality and her ability

(03:25):
to find joy in even the simplest moments. It's like
she didn't take anything for granted because she had lived
through already this hardship as a child, so every day
was just like this shining star to her.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
Absolutely, And she was still young when they emigrated over,
so cases she doesn't really remember because she was only
one when they came over. But she doesn't think that
Nicki really recalled a lot of those times before coming
to America. But she's still just that transition is impactful
on your history.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
Yeah, yeah, even subconsciously, like a moving to multiple countries
that early in your childhood and being like uncertain that uncertainty,
even if you don't know what's going on, that alone
can make you unsettled.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
Chloe also told me how Nicki was always your biggest cheerleader.
She was someone who was always positive and ready for
an adventure. She said that she could find the humor
in anything. She was always wanting to laugh and giggle,
and nothing was ever too boring for her. She always
thought of others over herself. Her personality was bubbly and energetic,

(04:38):
and she loved to grab a coffee, even though her
sister said she definitely didn't need it. She had all
the energy in the world.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
That's too funny.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
She definitely seems like an extrovert based on just these
few paragraphs alone. Nicki's outlook on life was as light
hearted as it was compassionate. She was someone who would
see the best in people even when others couldn't. She
had this incredible ability to just forgive. In the late

(05:11):
two thousands, Nicki met Tyler McCain and their love story unfolded.
Tyler worked in the slot machine department at a local
casino while Nicki worked as a cocktail waitress. He had
a reputation as being this flirt someone that could charm people.

(05:32):
But Nicky was really drawn to this shy side of him,
not this playboy thing that he put on, but this
like who he was inside, which is so cute. I
you know, being young, and I swear you end up
dating someone where you work, no matter how much you
say you're not going to And this is kind of

(05:52):
how all this unfolded as well.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
Kay worked at the casino at the same time shorked
that same shift, and she said that Tyler and Nicki
met because they worked there obviously together, so that close
proximity many hours, you just get to know someone on
a different level when you're with them for the majority
of the day. Their connection was genuine and organic, and
in twenty ten they married and started a family. Their

(06:18):
relationship had its challenges and they fought. They lived outside
of Reading, California, in this little I don't know if
it's a suburb, if you would call it, but it's
just a few miles outside of Reading called Happy Valley.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
It's a three and a half.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
Acre property and there are other houses on this same street,
but they aren't exactly right next to each other. It's
very much how Melissa and I lived when we lived
in the same town in Texas.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
We there was several houses.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Around us, but it was a bit far to get
to them, like you can see them, but you didn't
really interact with your neighbors very much. You weren't walking
the streets. There wasn't kids riding their bikes, on the street.
There's not people walking down the sidewalk because there aren't
any sidewalks. You're in the rural part of a subdivision,
so big lots, several houses, but just not super close

(07:07):
to one another and just country property.

Speaker 3 (07:11):
Yeah, you couldn't throw a rock and hit the next house.
Even I'm talking like baseball players, professional athletes, like, it
would be difficult to throw something and actually hit another house.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
That's how it was.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
You could see another house from my house, but it
was like a little bit ways away, which I love that.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
Oh I miss those days mean too.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
Nikki was a stay at home mom while her kids
were young, but when she got older she wanted to
go back into the workforce.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
It's almost like she didn't. She had too much energy
and not enough things to do.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
And being an extrovert and this people person as she
seems like she is.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
There's one thing.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
I love being a mother, and I'm an introvert, but
I still want some time outside of my family. I
want to work and I want to do things on
my own. I can't imagine what it's like for an
extrovert like she was.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
So she filled her time with shopping, but not extravagant shopping.
That's not what she would go do. She would go
out window shopping. Her favorite was like a dollar store,
because you can get lots of things for super cheap,
and she'd get those cute little quarter machine rings and
things for her girls, or like the clip and hair
extensions for a dollar, all those little bitty things that
would brighten a little kid's day. But every time she

(08:26):
was out and about, she would look for things like
that to bring back to her nieces and nephews or
her own children.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
Cute. She did want to go back in to the workforce.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
She needed something to do, something to occupy her time,
and she even applied for a job and was invited
in for an interview, but Tyler wouldn't allow her to go.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
He believed that women shouldn't.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
Work at all, that they should tend to the home,
and his controlling tendencies weren't held to just Niki working.
He would do other things that were controlling, like hider
car keys so she couldn't go places, or he would
use his knowledge as a mechanic to disconnect things so
that her car wouldn't operate. Now that is an alleged statement.

(09:10):
There's no proof that he actually did this. But Tyler
didn't have a driver's license. He lost it, and he
would make Nicki driving places. Chloe told me that Nicki
was kind of catching on to the fact that her
car would have issues, and then Tyler would be like, oh,
I can fix that, because I have to go somewhere
real quick. Let me just pop the hood, do some

(09:31):
little things, and bam shabam, it's working again. It seems
very convenient that he could fix things with not much
troubleshooting and resolve the problem quickly if he didn't already
have the knowledge of what was wrong.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
With the vehicle, especially when if it wasn't Vibraham. Yeah,
that's what I was gonna say. If it's convenient for him,
it suddenly was fixed. But wow, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
In twenty eighteen, Nicki learned that Tyler was having an affair.
I think at some point there was multiple affairs, but
she learned of one specifically, and there was a period
of time where the two kind of did this on again,
off again type of relationship. Nicki didn't want her family
to know that they ultimately end up getting back together,

(10:16):
but they do end up reconciling and then the pandemic hit.

Speaker 3 (10:21):
As with many couples, the pandemic brought additional stress to
their lives. Tyler, who had worked as a SPA manager,
was suddenly home full time as the SPA had shut
down Derbert due to COVID nineteen restrictions. His isolation deepened,
and Nikki started to notice troubling changes. Things were already troubling, but.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
Now it's escalating.

Speaker 3 (10:49):
Tyler began spending more time alone in the garage, and
the tension in their marriage just escalated. Kay talked about
how during the pandemic they didn't see Nicki and Tyler much.
They were home, but everything was changing. Tyler's sister ended
up living with them at the time, and she expressed

(11:10):
concerns as well that Tyler was isolating himself. Nicki would
try to get him to come inside and be with
the family, participate, you know, eat dinner with them, that
kind of thing, but this just ended up with additional fights. Nicki,
who always tried to keep things light, was now dealing

(11:31):
with this increased emotional distance. And so here she is
wanting to get out into the workforce, wanting to kind
of take her own step to her own independence, and
the pandemic just completely shut all that down. If Tyler hadn't,
the pandemic definitely did now Tyler's home and it is

(11:54):
just not a good situation for anyone.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
There's also additional.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
Layers to this, because not only is he isolating himself
in an already isolating environment due to the pandemic, but
he has struggled with alcohol abuse and potentially other substance
dependencies as well. So isolating yourself because of the pandemic
and then taking that a step further by not doing
anything within your family unit and then potentially using these

(12:23):
substances can just exacerbate all of those things mentally, physically,
all of that could be an additional layer of stress
for Nicki and Tyler.

Speaker 3 (12:35):
Yeah, there's a lot of the mental issues going on
during the pandemic, and I'm so glad that we were
able to spend the pandemic together. Yes, Nicki's family began
to notice the extreme signs of strain in her relationship
with Tyler, but Nicki, ever forgiving and full of love,
didn't really share the full extent of what was happening.

(12:59):
And this is so common in domestic violence relationships. It
starts out you do tell your family members like, oh,
we had a fight, this.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Is what happens.

Speaker 3 (13:08):
But when you get feedback or advice from the family
members that it's hard to swallow. It becomes like you
don't want to even tell them any longer about what's happening,
and you keep more and more of it to yourself,
And now no one knows what's truly going on behind
closed doors. And this is what was happening to Nicky

(13:31):
during the pandemic and during her time with Tyler. So
this raises an important question, how do we as advocates
for the ones we love when facing this hidden struggle
where we don't know what's happening. We know there's something off,
but we don't really know the extent of it. It

(13:51):
can be incredibly difficult to support someone when they aren't
open about their paid You don't know what you don't know?

Speaker 1 (13:59):
I mean you.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
Thinking that, Yeah, every marriage has struggles, but this is
more than just your normal typical disagreements over who's going
to do the dishes. Advocacy in relationships often means understanding
when someone isn't okay and creating a space where they
can speak up in their own terms and their own

(14:23):
timeline as well, which is very difficult when you see
someone you love going through this. So in Nicki's case,
her family was there for her. They stayed connected, they
reached out, and they continued to show up in her
life without pressuring her too much. So as Nicki and

(14:43):
Tyler's relationship continued, the tension, the isolation, and the abuse deepened.
So living in this rural countryside, far from neighbors and
really any support system, because really no one had a
support system back during this time, It's like such a
blur in my memory, and every time I think about it,

(15:06):
I get a slightly PTSD from not being able to
go anywhere or do anything. Everything was so restricted. Nicki's
isolation became even more pronounced. Tyler, he's already battling these
addictions and anger.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
He's drinking heavily. There was no.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
Longer any external accountabilities. There's no routine for the kids,
no going to school, no reason to leave the house
or engage with anyone from the outside world. It was
literally just Nicky Tyler stuck in this toxic and volatile environment.

(15:46):
In twenty twenty, Tyler was arrested for a dy after
his blood alcohol level was more than two times the
legal limit. He pled guilty, received three years probation and
was required to install an ignition interlock device in his vehicle,
but even this legal consequence didn't break the cycle of abuse. Instead,

(16:09):
the violence continued to escalate, with multiple incidents reported between
twenty nineteen and twenty twenty three. So this started before
COVID kind of went all the way through COVID. On
the outside of COVID, it was all during that So
I'm sorry he can't use COVID and being isolated as

(16:31):
a trigger or anything like that, because it seems like.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
Problems were long before we were in a lockdown situation, right.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
There was a long history of abuse throughout their relationship.
But I think that once the isolation occurred, and we've
seen this in other stories too, there's so many reports
of how that isolation harmed, so many relationships that have
domestic violence running through it, that it just again exacerbated.
Everything was escalated and a high and during those times,

(17:01):
and I think that that's where we hear the most
the most terrible things is because of those years of COVID.

Speaker 3 (17:09):
And so much was underreported because who were you going
to report it to? Nobody was investigating anything. It was,
it was. It was such a time in our lives.
So Chloe shared with Nancy Grace that she had seen
signs of abuse firsthand. In twenty nineteen, she noticed Nicki

(17:29):
had black eyes and bruises.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
I had seen her after the fights.

Speaker 3 (17:34):
It wasn't just an emotional toll. She had physical signs
of abuse, she had stated.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
Another sign Nicki's sister's notice was that the house wasn't
as clean as it usually was.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
They had told me that Nicki was the.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
Kind of person who would get on her hands and
knees and really scrub the force clean. She had a
mob bucket, but not a mob if you can kind
of get that vibe. She's on the ground scrubbing with
a brush or a rag. She didn't mop standing up.
She was that kind of immaculate. Chloe also said that
because she stayed at home and didn't work, that she

(18:10):
took to tending the house seriously. She wanted to have
a nice home and a happy marriage, and she wanted it.
She wanted everything that appearances would show. She wanted that
to be real. And at some point Tyler had told
Nikki or made some sort of offhanded comment about how
she didn't need to work that hard at keeping the
house that clean.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
It wasn't that big of a deal. So she quit.
She quit being that meticulous. And it was one of those.

Speaker 2 (18:37):
Things that happens in marriages. And I know that I
do this with my husband, and I know you do it
with your husband. It was one of those fights of like,
who's going to outlast you on this situation? Like, oh,
you say it don't have to be that clean, watch me,
bro kind of a situation. She was bound and determined
to outlast Tyler at this situation. And I feel like
that's a very common thing in marriages totally, is who's

(19:00):
going to do the dishes? And I'll leave them in there.

Speaker 3 (19:03):
Actually I really break at this one because I cannot
stand dishes and and my husband can outlast me that,
but I really want to and I'm like, I'm not
going to do them, and I tell myself I'm not
going to do them.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
I still end up doing them. But that's just how
it is.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Mine's matching socks from laundry. I don't like to match,
so I hate matching socks too. There was one point
where Chloe had talked to Nicki about everything that was
going on, and given the ruralness of their home, she
told Nikki that she needs to keep her guest bathroom
window open so that in the event something terrible did happen,

(19:42):
a neighbor could hear. She even remembers checking on occasions
when she would go to the house to see if
that window had been opened.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
Oh wow, that's just breaks my heart.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
There was at least one neighbor knew of this abuse
as well. Nicki had become friends with her. She lived
across the street. The kids had played together. I think
that the neighbor had a daughter. She'd come over or
they'd play outside together. On more than one occasion, Nicki
had also sought refuge there after a fight. The neighbor
had also reached out to Chloe asking if she was

(20:19):
aware of what was going on behind Nicky and Tyler's doors,
and Chloe was honest and said yes, she knew that
there was some string within the marriage, but at that
time she wasn't aware of the severity of it. This
was still in between the times where Nicki wasn't sharing
a lot, Chloe was noticing things, Kay was noticing things,
but the hard conversations weren't necessarily being had, but everyone

(20:43):
was kind of trying to figure out what was going on.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
The neighbor even.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Tried to help. She spoke with the media. After Nicki disappeared,
she spoke with police. She gave statements that about what
she had seen throughout the years.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
And this moved away.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
About a month before Niki disappeared, but after everything, she
came forward and gave statements.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
Well, that's awesome that she did that. She because a
lot of people just don't want to get involved. But
I'm glad she stood up for Nikki, that's for sure. Unfortunately,
as many victims of domestic violence know, the cycle of
violence often leaves victims feeling trapped with no clear way out.

(21:26):
For Nicki, the violence wasn't always a constant. She found
herself caught in a cycle, and according to Safe Family
Justice Center, this cycle typically involves several phases. You've got
this tension building, then you've got explosive incidents of violence,
followed by this phase of reconciliation, and finally this period

(21:50):
of calm where the victim might believe that everything will
be okay again.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
There could be.

Speaker 3 (21:55):
Love bombing this happy family. They that the victim is
always dreamed of. It's that period of time that the
perpetrator reels them back in and then it only it's
a cycle once again. Then there's this tension, there's things
starting to boil over, and then it's the violence again,
and this happens over and over again. In Nicki's case,

(22:19):
after each explosive argument, Tyler would apologize. He would send
texts to Chloe and Kay telling them to convey his apologies.
He would say, tell Nicki, I love her, tell her
I'm sorry, tell her I'll change, I'll go to rehab,
I'll get clean. These words were meant to reassure Nicki,

(22:40):
to bring her back into the relationship after that storm
had passed, But over time these promises became hollow. The
cycle would repeat and the violence would escalate. Yet Nicki,
with her heart full of empathy, would hold onto the
hope that things could go back to the way they

(23:00):
once were.

Speaker 2 (23:01):
Before the violence. Also, during those tension building phases, Tyler
would manipulate Nicki and again control her, lead her to
believe that she had nowhere to go. She had no
resources available to her, and she was alienated from everything.
She wouldn't receive support he told her that she didn't

(23:22):
have a job. Nothing was in her name. The house
deed only had Tyler's name on it, and every vehicle
they owned, which was more than the one that Nicki drove,
were in Tyler's name. Nicki's family was there to support her,
and her sisters believed that Nicki did know that deep down,
because she went to them. When she could get away
from Tyler, she would go to her mother's house and

(23:44):
seek solace. She would go to one of her sister's
house and until things could calm down and he convinced
her back, he reeled her back in again in that cycle.

Speaker 3 (23:53):
It's just heartbreaking, and it happens so frequently with so
many people. Kay believed that Nicky's tendency to see the
good in people, even when they were hurting her, is
what kept her in this relationship. She didn't want to
be the reason her family broke apart. She didn't want

(24:15):
to cause trouble or hurt to Tyler's family or even Tyler.
After even everything he had done to her, she still
was going to protect him. She was always one to
believe in second chances, who thought if she loved him enough,
things would get better. But as the violence continued to escalate,

(24:37):
it became clear that the situation was beyond repair. The
explosions in the cycle workstream. On one occasion, Nicki was
heard screaming for help. She had ran away from her home,
her feet bleeding from broken glass she had stepped on
while trying to escape. A witness described seeing Nicki with

(24:58):
visible injuries, abrasions on her face, swollen lips, marks around
her neck that appeared to be consistent with handprints. We're
not talking just mild things here. This is absolutely horrible abuse.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
That's happening to her on a regular basis.

Speaker 3 (25:18):
Tyler, in a fit of rage, had locked Nicki out
of their home, thrown water at her, kicked her outside.
So he doesn't even care about people seeing. He's so
passed that part he does not care. Another horrifying incident
involved Tyler chasing Nicki around the yard with a large wrench. Yeah,

(25:40):
they weren't close to people, but people could still see
driving by, or especially if someone was screaming, they look out.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
There were even more reports that there was.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
A threat where Tyler allegedly said he would decapitate Nicky.
Then there's an incidence where he poured gas Selene on
her vehicle. Despite all of these multiple disturbing episodes, Nicki
never pressed charges. She remained stuck in this cycle of violence,

(26:13):
hoping things would change, that the person she loved more
than anything would transform back into the man she fell
in love with. At this point, Nicky's sisters are growing
deeply concerned, not only for Nicki's safety, but honestly for
her future. Like there's only so much abuse a person

(26:34):
can take. Nicki's sisters began to see the danger of
not filing police reports. They worried that Nicki's reluctance to
press charges was keeping Tyler's actions hidden, allowing this cycle
of violence to continue unchecked. And then the fact that

(26:54):
if she ever did leave, there's no reports and we
no law enforcement aren't going to just take her word
for it, no matter how many people are saying, hey, no,
I saw bruises on her. If the victim doesn't make
those reports, it's just like he said, she said kind
of thing. Kay remembers trying to intervene, encouraging Nicky to
seek legal protection. She just couldn't do it. She didn't

(27:18):
want to hurt anyone else. She didn't want to tear
apart Tyler's family, but it was hurting her and it
was hurting the kids.

Speaker 1 (27:25):
Kay said.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
The situation became more urgent when, in an act of intervention,
though Reading Rancheria Tribal Court took action and removed Nicky
and Tyler's four children due to ongoing domestic violence. This
was a turning point. The children were placed in the
custody of Nicky's sisters, Chloe and Kay. It was heartbreaking

(27:52):
but necessary. Nicki was no longer able to protect her
children from this instability of their home life. And this
sucks so much for Nicki, but honestly, it was the
right thing to do.

Speaker 1 (28:05):
Those kids had to get out of that situation.

Speaker 2 (28:09):
We haven't talked about it yet, but Tyler is of
tribal descent, so his family are members of this tribe
there in the Reading Rancheria area, And it's important to
know because it comes into play a little bit later.

Speaker 3 (28:22):
In cases like Nicki's, advocacy can be a lifeline, not
just for the victim, but for everyone involved. While Nikki's
sisters wanted to advocate for her, the complexity of her
emotional attachment to Tyler, her desire to maintain this family
unity and her fear of causing this harm made it

(28:43):
difficult for her to take any legal action. Yet without
this accountability, the abuse continued. Domestic violence often leaves families
feeling trapped in an emotional tug of war. They want
to believe that their abuser can change, that their love
can heal all wounds, but that's not the reality. The

(29:04):
cycle of violence is destructive. It doesn't end with the
promise of change. It ends with intervention, with support, and
with the courage to break free.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
This just it sucks.

Speaker 3 (29:17):
On Friday, December one, twenty twenty three, Shasta County Deputies
were called to Mercy Hospital in Reading, California. Nicki had
been assaulted by Tyler that night. Nicki told officer Jerry
Mall that the attack started when Tyler came home on
November twenty ninth. He was agitated, incoherent, and physically violent.

(29:42):
Over three horrifying hours, Tyler assaulted Nicky, dragging her, tying
her up with tape, pouring water on her. He even
threatened to kill her. Nicki said she truly believed Tyler
intended to end her life. She had managed to ass
escape when he stepped into the kitchen She grabbed keys

(30:04):
in a robe and she fled to her car, but
Tyler was chasing after her, and he jumped on the
hood of the vehicle. Nicki was able to flee to
her mother's house to seek refuge before Chloe and Kay
were able to convince her to go to the hospital.
Kay believed that this was a major turning point for Nicki.
He had injured her so severely that she decided it

(30:26):
was time to press charges. Officer mal wrote in his
report that Nicki's injuries were apparent. Both the eyes were
blackened and swollen, her forehead had visible bruises. She admitted
to the officer that Tyler had assaulted her before, but
it had never been to this extreme. He had asked
if Tyler used any substances, and Nicki said that Tyler

(30:50):
had in the past, but she wasn't sure if he
had that day. He was acting strange, but she couldn't
verify whether or not he was actually on anything. She
also shared with the officer that she would not be
returning to the home. She said that she would be
staying with her sister, and she did. She hopped around
from her mom's house or Chloe's house or Kay's house.

(31:11):
The officer was also able to share resources with her.
He suggested she go to one safe place and inquire
about a restraining order. He gave her a few other
pamphlets of resources, including on Marcy's Card, which is a
resource given to victims in California that outlines their rights
under Marcy's Law. Nicki was also able to meet with

(31:32):
a victim advocate, and Kay believes that this individual further
empowered Nicki's choice to press charges. Officer mal left the
hospital and called a few other deputies to meet him
at Nicki and Tyler's home. Tyler was outside when they
arrived and was taken into custody. His rights were read
to him and he agreed to speak with the officers

(31:55):
from here. He was taken into the police station and
was asked if he had seen Nicki and her wounds.
He said he knew that she was hurt, but he
hadn't seen them. He also said that he hadn't seen
her since around eight o'clock in the evening on November
twenty ninth. He denied any fight between them ever occurring
in the entire history of their relationship, which we know

(32:16):
is not true, and he said that it was between
Nicki and another woman. He claims that Nicki was in
a relationship with another woman and that's who she fought with.
But he also claimed that they had.

Speaker 2 (32:29):
A great relationship and that they were happy, and that
there weren't any physical altercations ever occurring.

Speaker 3 (32:36):
All the other times that police had to come out
for the domestic violent situation, the fact that the children
were taken, all of that can totally prove they did
not have this great, fantastic relationship. Oh, he's de Lulu
most definitely. In December twenty twenty three, Tyler was arrested

(32:57):
and charged with one count of corporal injury to a spouse,
one count of false imprisonment by violence, one count of
making criminal threats, and one count of assault likely to
produce great bodily injury. He posted bail and continued to
stay in contact with Niki. He convinced her to give

(33:19):
him a ride to what was supposed to be a
court hearing, only he ambushed her at his lawyer's office,
pressuring her to recant her statement. Thankfully, Nicki refused, and
Tyler left her stranded at the lawyer's office. She ended
up getting a ride from someone else.

Speaker 1 (33:39):
But it's just.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
More and more of the manipulation tactics from this man.
But his tactics didn't end there. He used emotional manipulation,
promising change and a fresh start, convincing Niki to move
back in. He also continued to beg her to drop
the charges against him, but she didn't. NICKI was determined

(34:04):
to rebuild her life, texting her sister Chloe about divorce
plans and creating this roadmap to regain custody of her children.
And I am swelling with pride, like it is so
hard to do what she's doing, but she is doing
it exactly.

Speaker 2 (34:22):
She was making plans to get a job, an apartment, furniture,
a safe place for her children to return to. And
I was talking to Chloe and Kay about this. So
many people on the internet, so listeners beware are victim
blaming her. Why is she looking for furniture and not
worried about getting her kids back? When to get your

(34:42):
kids back, you have to provide them a safe and
accommodating home.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
That's step one.

Speaker 2 (34:46):
She's following the steps needed to do this exactly.

Speaker 3 (34:50):
They have to have a bed, they have to have food,
they have to have this place to come back to.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
They can't just come back to attend people exactly.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
She was confident and determined to start a new life
without Tyler. On May seventh, just days before she disappeared,
the preliminary heoring for Tyler's domestic violence charges were held. Tyler,
of course, pleaded not guilty to all four felony charges.
Ten days later, on May seventeenth, she exchanged text with Chloe,

(35:24):
telling her that Tyler's brother had a medical emergency and
that she was at the hospital with Tyler's family. Now,
before people start freaking out about this, why are you
with him? If you're doing all these charges against him,
why are you going there to be with his family?
She had a positive relationship with her in laws, and

(35:45):
this family member that was in the hospital was in
a severe enough condition, and it was a severe enough
emergency that it wasn't strange for Nikki to have been
with them. You know, Oh you need me to be there, Sure,
I'll be there. She was an impath, she was there
to help, and it just wasn't strange. So I don't
think people need to dwell on that.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
I don't think so at all.

Speaker 3 (36:07):
The family isn't necessarily the ones that did this to her.
Tyler was and that was like her second family for
a very long time, and she still wanted to be
there because she did feel bad for everything that she
was making Tyler go through by his own actions. Don't
get made wrong, But I could only imagine she wanted
to just be there for people that she loved exactly.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
Nikkia texts Chloe around midnight that day, letting them know
that she was driving Tyler's mother's car back to her
mother in law's house. Now there's some confusion over this.
Why was she driving Tyler's mom's car. It seems weird,
but it could have been something as simple as Tyler's
mom was upset, she didn't need to be driving, or
they were called to go to the hospital. They all

(36:52):
carpoled there. It doesn't seem weird to me. She just
happened to be driving Tyler's mother's car back to her house.
This they don't really know where Nicki went. Did she
go back home? Was her car at her mother in
law's house and she took her car back to her house?

Speaker 1 (37:08):
Did she drive her mother in law's car home?

Speaker 2 (37:11):
No one really has the answer to that, or it
has not been publicly released, but this was the last
text and last time that anyone would speak to Nicki.
The next day, Nicki's daughter had a soccer tournament and
they couldn't find her jersey. There was times when Nicky's
kids would stay at the grandparents' house after soccer games,

(37:34):
or at Chloe's house after soccer games, or Kay's house
afters it could have been anywhere. Chloe's fiance went to
look for it at Tyler's mother's house. The jersey wasn't there,
but Tyler's mom mentioned that she wasn't at the hospital,
or she also wasn't at the hospital, So things just
all around seem strange. If he was in that severe
of a condition, wouldn't he have she had been at
the hospital the next day or I don't know. There's

(37:56):
just some interesting things related to the timeline of the
day that Niki was disappeared, the last day anyone had.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
Earned it from Nicki.

Speaker 3 (38:07):
On May twenty first, Nicki's family realized something is wrong.
Days of silence and unreturned messages led them to report
her missing to the Reading Police Department. However, the investigation
would end up falling to the Shasta County Sheriff's office
due to Niki and Tyler's rural residence there and Happy Valleys.

(38:31):
There is a bit of delay obviously in law enforcement
taking action because it felt this is just like there
are police that work on holidays and the weekends, but
this was like Memorial Day holiday weekend, so of course,
especially with the jurisdiction issues, there was a delay in
starting to look for her.

Speaker 2 (38:53):
There's also a point in time where Tyler messages Kay
asking if she had heard from NICKI.

Speaker 1 (38:59):
I don't know where this.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
Falls on the timeline, but he messages Kay at some
point saying have you heard from Nicki? I think she's missing,
which is very unusual behavior. In the past she had
when she had left him. He would send messages to
Chloe and Kay to help them to help him make
up with her, apologizing, sending those I love you messages,

(39:22):
or trying to convince them to be on his side.
So this one was a very strange one. On Wednesday night,
Chloe drove to Tyler's house with the sheriff to perform
a wellness check and no one was home, So Thursday
morning Chloe requested a second one. Again no one was home.
On Friday, morning, Chloe returned for a third time and

(39:44):
Tyler was there. He told her that the two thousand
and two Chevrolet Avalanche he had purchased Nicki just a
couple of weeks before, had broken down off a bridge
on Bowman Road. Now there's some interesting things that come
up with this truck. Nicki had a Van Pryor and
wasn't in the market for a new vehicle. Chloein k
were like, she never talked about needing a new vehicle her.

(40:04):
She didn't have any problems with her vehicle. She had
a van, she had four kids, enough space. But Tyler
purchased this anyway, kind of randomly. Maybe it's a love
bomb gift, but it wasn't very practical. She's kids that
are in various activities, that live outside. They live outside
of town, gas smologe and an avalanche. I'm sure as
crap it's not exactly ideal that you're running errands or

(40:25):
running around and let alone that she had four kids
she was trying to regain custody of. You can't fit
four kids in the back seat of an Avalanche before
you even discuss the car seats, so it's not eve
enough space, let alone throw car seats, which I'm sure
some of them needed car seats, And it just doesn't
make sense. Why would you purchase a vehicle that wouldn't

(40:47):
hold the children you're trying to get back Based on
all the conversations of her trying to move back in,
there's just it doesn't make sense. They also never when
he bought this car, he bought it used, and he
never had the tags and registrations. The name changed over,
it was still in the previous owner's name. And this
is a couple of weeks after. I don't know the

(41:08):
laws in California, but in Texas you can't wait weeks.
You have to do it fairly immediately. So that's interesting enough.
When Tyler told Chloe that the truck was broken down,
she offered to take him to it. Do you want
me to take saying do you have me to take
you to it so you can bring him back? And
he said no, no, no, me and a buddy, you'll go.
And again it was a little bit strange to Chloe,

(41:30):
but whatever, so her and Kay decided to go look
for themselves. There's only a handful of real bridges on
this Bowman Road. Sure, there's some small creeks with culvert
or little small bridges, but not what you would exactly
call a bridge, and definitely not one with enough space
that if a car broke down, it could be on

(41:50):
the side or a shoulder. They were just like very
very small bridges. It's not a super busy road, and
they weren't able to find Nicky's truck.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
Tyler's story quickly unraveled. He claimed Nicki left after a fight,
then changed his story multiple times, saying she ran away
with another woman, then a man, and then even suggested
she went to Las Vegas. We hear this so many times,
where the story just changes and it depends on who

(42:22):
he's talking to, and it even changes with the person
that he's already told one story to.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
Now it's completely different.

Speaker 2 (42:29):
What's even more interesting is the Wednesday after she was
reported missing, Chloe had stopped by the house and Tyler
let her inside the home. He pointed out that Nicky's
brown purse was left on the counter. If she left
with someone, wouldn't she have taken it, especially to Las Vegas.
Don't you just think you take your purse, but take
that as you will. Then, when Chloe returned on Sunday,

(42:50):
in that exact same spot that brown purse was in
there was a black purse now instead, and Chloe specifically
remembers that, and I feel like she would know that
difference between a brown person a black purse. I mean,
most women can remember purses, I guess. But according to
her family, Nikki's cell phone has also never been found.
Now flaw enforcement recovered it, it's possible, but they've not

(43:13):
told the family that.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
Yeah, and the fact that Chloe is looking for her sister,
she's gonna notice little details like the purse, And every
time she's going back, she's just like, Okay, what's different
because she's making a mental note because there's already been
so much shady stuff with Tyler already. On May twenty fifth,
Nicky's Chevrolet Avalanche was found in a remote, hilly area

(43:41):
of Tahama County, forty minutes from her home. The discovery
raised more questions than answers. Why was her truck so
far from the last location known? And I thought Tyler
said it had broken down not too far on the
Bowman Road.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
What happened to.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
That road is also not in Tahama County, So these
are again another contradiction and What's even more interesting about
this location is that Tyler's family owns various plots of
land in the surrounding areas, and this road is one
that very few people know about. It is definitely not
a thoroughfare. Most people don't travel it.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
Chloe and Kay organized searches two days later. They were
even able to do one volunteer search along the ranch area,
but it was a very specific search due to the
tribal rules and customs. Due to tribal rules and customs,
there were only certain areas that they were allowed to
search in.

Speaker 1 (44:42):
No evidence was found.

Speaker 2 (44:45):
From what I understand, the rancheria has been selective with
their help as well. So not only were they only
given specific areas to search that one time, they also
needed a little bit of nuts from one of Tyler's
family members that was close to NICKI. To take action,

(45:06):
they offered up a ten thousand dollars reward and they
have put up a billboard for them. But they've been
very hands off, and this reward is very specific. That's
the extent of the help that they're offering. They're not
allowing really any more searches. They're not able to search
everywhere because of their customs and roles. It just seems
very selective and that they needed a bit of a push,

(45:29):
And it was very much Tyler's relative that said, we
need to do this for the children because the children
are Native, they are tribal, they're a part of our people.
And that's what kind of pushed them over the edge
to help, because otherwise I don't think that they would
have cared to help to search for Nicki because she
is not tribal.

Speaker 3 (45:49):
Yeah, on July third, a fire erupted on Tyler and
Nicki's property.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
This destroyed vehicles but not the home.

Speaker 3 (46:00):
Determined that the fire was accidental, but the timing only
deep into the suspicions.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
Now, what's interesting about this is he Tyler says it's
because there was dry grass and there was a hot
catalytic converter. Well, mister mechanic, if that's the case, you
should have known better than to be running a vehicle
for the catalytic co converter to get hot enough to
set a fire on dry grass.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
I mean, you should know better. So that's interesting.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
What also is interesting is another fire happens on Tyler's
family's property nearby. So how do you explain that one.
There's too many interesting.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
Things that happen here.

Speaker 3 (46:47):
I've personally never had a fire on any of the
properties I've ever.

Speaker 2 (46:53):
Exactly, And the fire on his family's property was sixteen
ish miles for where Nikki's truck was found.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
Oh crap.

Speaker 2 (47:02):
And it was a large fire. It burned like nineteen
to twenty acres in that county, So it was a
huge what I would consider huge fire, a forest fire.
And there's no proof that this has anything to do
with Nicki's disappearance. It's just there's a lot of very
interesting things happening.

Speaker 3 (47:22):
It's a lot of really really bad luck for one family,
one person to experience without some of it at least
being connected.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
Correct.

Speaker 3 (47:34):
So then on July fifth, this is all twenty twenty four,
by the way, this is just happening, which is absolutely insane.
So July fifth, charges against Tyler for that December assault
they were dropped.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
This infuriates me.

Speaker 3 (47:52):
The court ruled that the case couldn't proceed without Nikki's testimony,
even though you have a cop who it interviewed her
with all of her bruises, all of the witnesses everything.
I'm sure the hospital took pictures that is enough mother
truck in proof if.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
You ask me. But whatever, well, I'm aren't a judge.

Speaker 2 (48:14):
Our dear defense attorney friend Bob would argue that it
would go against his constitutional rights to face your accuser
in court. And that's where we're at with this is
the court ruled that because she wasn't there, he can't
proceed because he can't face his accuser, and that means
they are all dropped. And it was very the way

(48:38):
he acted, his like pompous attitude walking into the court.
There was a rally that same day from her family.
They were all standing outside the courthouse, and he could
have cared less. When people asked where Nicky was, He's like,
I don't know, like didn't even care, which makes me
so angry, so so angry. Wow wow, yeah that is

(49:01):
oh my god, yes, very angry. Where I just want
to punch him in the faith. But in the months
that followed Nicky's disappearance, Tyler continued to evade accountability. He
was arrested for traffic violation and violating a domestic violence
restraining order, but skipped that court date.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
Meanwhile, Nicki's family is over here continuing to fight for answers.
They have no idea where Nicki's at, and they're not
going to just sit idly by and let Tyler go
off and live his life with all of this crap.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
That happened to their sister.

Speaker 3 (49:45):
Chloe and Kay have pointed out inconsistencies in Tyler's and
his mother's stories. Despite their persistence, the case remains unsolved.
So this case honestly just highlights the systemic failures in
protecting victims of domestic violence over and over again as women.

(50:07):
I know domestic violence doesn't just happen to women, but
let's be real for one second, it happens to a
lot more freaking women than it does men.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
It's it's ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (50:20):
Nicki's disappearance is a devastating reminder of what can happen
when abusers are allowed to manipulate and evade the system.
Niki is more than a statistic. She is a mother,
a sister, and a friend. Her family deserves answers, and
we can help by keeping her story alive.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
And Tyler's story continues to change. His mom's story has
changed since then. She told chloeen Kay that an uber
picked Nikki up from her house that night, so there's
just there's the problem here is that the system is
broken because Tyler shouldn't be walking free on the charges
that he clearly did. And now Nicki's family is racing

(51:05):
against a clock because the only charges they have are
these domestic violence charges that have been dismissed, and they
can be recharged. He can be recharged with them, but
the statute of limitations on domestic violence is three years.

Speaker 1 (51:18):
It's now been a year. They're down to the clock
is ticking.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
They have two years left to file new charges against him,
so they need to find Nicki. However that whatever that means,
they have to find Nicki before they can move forward
and gain justice for what has already occurred. And they're
doing the best they can. Getting Nicki's story out is
all they know how to do. That's why we are
sharing it. We have joined in the advocacy effort in

(51:44):
multiple ways. We're sharing Nicky's story. We are doing a
flyering campaign for her, hoping to get some more information.
Maybe someone saw Nikki that night, or someone knows something.
Someone has to know some thing. There has to be
something out there, and what they're asking for is your

(52:05):
help too. They want you to join their Facebook group,
share Nikki's story, share her flyer, talk about her for
ask for law enforcement to do something, and and share
what you may know that And that's kind of where
we're at. They're all consumed with trying to get Nikki's

(52:27):
story out there quickly and loudly, because they are against
a clock. Most of the stories we share the issues
are murder or missing, so there's always a time a
clock against the missing people because the longer you go,
the harder it is to find someone. But when it
comes to murder, there's no statute of limitations on murder,

(52:48):
and they're running out of time to get justice for
what they know has already happened to Nicki. They know
that she was abused, they know she was assaulted, and
those are charges as they could get if they can
find Nicki.

Speaker 3 (53:05):
Exactly. And this happened in twenty twenty four. This is
just months months ago. Okay, memories are still fresh right now.
You saw or heard anything at all about what happened
to Nicki, please reach out to the Sheriff's Office Major
Crimes Unit. Their phone number is five three zero two

(53:26):
four five six one three five. You can also email
NCU at Shasta County dot gov. You can also submit
a tip through www dot scsecret witness dot com slash
submit a tip. All of this will be in the
show notes as well. There is an anonymous tip line

(53:48):
for that area. That phone number is five three zero
three seven.

Speaker 1 (53:52):
Eight four four nine one.

Speaker 3 (53:55):
Please if anyone was in that area, anyone knows Nicki
had any contact with her anywhere around the early July
time frame, please reach out to law enforcement. Join the
Facebook group her sisters, her children. There are so many
people that are desperately wanting to answers.

Speaker 2 (54:20):
We would like to thank Chloe and Kay for sharing
Nicky's story with us and trusting us to share.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
It with you.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
This episode is a researched written and produced by us.
Please consider leaving us a five star review on your
favorite podcast platform or sharing us with a friend. You
can follow us on all social media, and if you'd
like more information about our podcast, our upcoming conference Advocacy Con,
or our nonprofit Impacts Advocacy Foundation, please head over to

(54:49):
Navigating Advocacy dot com

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

The Joe Rogan Experience

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}California : Nikki Cheng-Saelee McCain

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Stuff You Should Know

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

The Joe Rogan Experience

All Episodes

California : Nikki Cheng-Saelee McCain

Stuff You Should Know