🔁 BEST OF - Finding Balance

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Have you ever felt like a tightrope walker in your own life, constantly striving for balance?  ⚖️ This 🔁 BEST OF episode is another reminder that YOU do have control. Weaving threads from my life alongside the narrative outlines of 'Eat Pray Love', one of my favs, I reveal how the quest for self-love and making resonant choices is not just about surviving our past decisions, but about thriving through them. 💥
 Realizing the necessity of owning our decisions, finding strength in our stumbles, and the pivotal role of self-validation in scripting a life without regrets, is within YOUR grasp! ❤️

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https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/books/eat-pray-love/  ( the official website for best selling author Elizabeth Gilbert )

Episode Transcript

Julie Rogers (00:05):
No one ever said life is easy, but I believe by
giving yourself permission, youwill find you have more control
over your life than you realize.
I'm Julie.
I hope you will join me bytaking responsibility for
yourself, by only controllingthe things you can and letting
go of the things that you can't.
By doing this, you will havediscovered the secret to having

(00:30):
happy, healthy and morefulfilling relationships.
This is Nearest And DearestPodcast.
I'm Julie Rogers and you arelistening to Episode 20, Finding
Balance.

(00:51):
Do you remember when you were akid and you were playing on a
teeter-totter?
You enjoyed the thrill yourbelly felt when you went up in
the air and then down again withyour friend on the other end.
You had to trust the otherperson to keep the rhythm going
easily, so each of you wereenjoying the ride.

(01:13):
It could end roughly orsmoothly, depending on your mood
.
You either nicely took the timeto take yourself off without
crashing your friend on theirend, or you wanted to make a
more dramatic exit and quicklyjumped off, leaving no time for

(01:36):
your friend to land without abig thump.
Life is like that.
You have your ups and downs.
You can't always predict whatchallenges life throws at you.
When you try to distribute thethings in your life like school,

(01:56):
work, family and community.
You are seeking a balancebetween all of these important
things that are in the long term, not in every instance of life.
You want emotional well-beingand strive for better fitness

(02:18):
and health.
You need to say no to somethingelse that interferes with you
doing something you want to dowhich leads you to making time
for yourself.
How do you do that?
Part of the answer to thatquestion is being able to adapt

(02:42):
to change.
Nothing ever stays the same,even the longest job you might
have or relationships you value.
The moving parts will change.
You can't stop it, either newtechnology for your job or new

(03:03):
management that wants to overallhow business will be conducted.
Change is inevitable.
Relationships should bechanging.
Healthy ones should showpersonal growth happening within
from each person.

(03:24):
The key to a happy, fulfilling,sustainable relationship should
always be striving to not onlyachieve a couple's mutual goals,
but also your own.
Everyone has ideas about whatmakes them happy and fulfilled.

(03:47):
No two people or relationshipsare alike.
That's what makes all of us sointeresting, valuable and unique
.
I love to read books, especiallyones that are nonfiction, and

(04:09):
also watch movies.
One of my all-time favorites isEat Pray Love written by
Elizabeth Gilbert, a memoirabout her life and her real
struggle to find her own bestversion of herself.
I read the book first.

(04:29):
It was very enlightening to me.
When the movie came out withJulia Roberts as the lead
actress, I couldn't wait to seeit.
I connected with her story.
I was also trying to figure outwho I was and find a balance
with my life.

(04:50):
I invited my two sisters and wewent to the local drive-in to
see it.
It was the summer of 2010.
I was not in a relationship.
I had ended the first seriousone since my 20-year marriage
the year before.
I was searching for a healthy,sustainable, long-term

(05:17):
relationship that would balanceout my own happiness and dreams.
My biggest takeaway was that Ineeded to love myself first and
foremost.
This quote is from her book,"you are, after all, what you

(05:40):
think.
Your emotions are the slaves toyour thoughts and you are the
slave to your emotions", endquote.
I remember thinking, of courseI love myself, but the
difference between thinking youlove yourself and actually

(06:06):
making choices that define whoyou are is even more empowering.
Choices define who we are as aperson.
It shows our character to theworld.
You either are making betterchoices or surviving bad ones.

(06:30):
What I have learned is when yousurvive those bad ones, it
makes you even stronger.
I know the word survive cansound like a life or death
situation, but I like to use itwhen I realize that, no matter

(06:50):
how big or small, that specificchoice I made turns out to not
be the best decision.
I can own that and then moveforward with a better
understanding of why it didn'twork out and then make that next

(07:11):
choice, which will continue tosupport my own goals or
intentions.
Decisions are not a one and donereality.
You can always make new onesthat are better suited for you.

(07:31):
Your attitude in how you handleany decisions that you can
control, and even the ones thatyou have no control over, will
affect your well-being.
It's always your control overyour own actions, words, your

(07:56):
character that you want topresent, that your employer,
spouse, family, friends andanyone who you come in contact
with, that shows who you are.
You know the expression youcan't please everyone.

(08:19):
I myself have fallen victim tothat.
I always was trying to makesure everyone I loved was happy
with my choices, decisions,lifestyle.
I was constantly seekingapproval, but what I have

(08:40):
learned is there is absolutelyno way to please everyone.
By trying to be a peoplepleaser, you give up control
over your own life.
You have to put yourself firstwith owning your decisions.

(09:04):
When you make a life decision,it is yours to make.
Everyone has that right.
Sometimes, the people you loveand respect totally understand
your decisions, and that's great.
It's a bonus.
Enjoy that support.
You have to be confident whenyou make your own decisions.

(09:27):
There will be times when youwill get unsolicited opinions
and you might feel the need toadapt to what is being offered.
But make sure you have thefinal decision and don't feel
guilty or that somehow yourdecisions are selfish.

(09:51):
You have one life.
You are responsible forchoosing how you want to live it
.
If you let others, even theones you love the most, keep you
from fulfilling your dreams, orthey are trying to minimize

(10:11):
your priorities, you will have alifetime of regrets.
You have to validate yourself.
You don't need anyone else toapprove of who you are.
That's a true sense of youloving yourself first.

(10:33):
Perception is also a factor.
Everyone has their own view.
By really understanding that,you will keep making your own
decisions that work for just you.
Your journey is yours alone andnot everyone will get it.

(10:58):
Your quality of a well-balancedlife depends on yourself.
Family is very important to me.
My mother instilled that in meand my siblings.
I make conscious choices aboutquality time with my family.

(11:22):
I make it a priority.
Because Woody and I are retiredand we travel back and forth
between our home on the riverand now we will be traveling to
Puerto Rico for our wintermonths.
We have limited time for ourfamily and friends.

(11:45):
We make it work.
Our lifestyle is our decisiontogether.
No one else made that decisionfor us.
I think fear can lead to peoplenot living the life that they
truly want to.
Fear is a normal emotion.

(12:08):
I faced it when I made thedecision to move to Georgia for
love.
I followed my heart and, evenwith knowing I was leaving
family and friends, I trusted myinstinct to allow myself to

(12:29):
find true happiness.
I had some friends ask howcould I leave behind my
grandchildren and not be asinvolved with seeing them as
much by moving so far away?
But here's the thing about fearyou have to face it, you can't

(12:51):
give into it.
You can find a true balancewith your own life that works
for you.
There is no rule book about howthat looks.
You have to give yourselfpermission first.
Once you start doing that, youwill see who really values and

(13:14):
still loves you unconditionally.
You might lose some people, thenaysayers who don't want you to
be happy and successful withyour own goals and dreams.
Let them go.
Let in joy, fulfillment andlove into your life.

(13:37):
I have so much happiness.
I would rather choose qualitytime over indifference.
Every time.
I have more patience,understanding and enjoyment when
I spend that quality time withall my relationships.

(14:00):
I don't take any of them forgranted.
Keep striving towards your ownversion of a healthy balance
with your life.
It's always in your own hands.
The sense of freedom that youare giving yourself is the key

(14:22):
to unlocking your endlesspossibilities with living your
best life.
Thank you for listening.
Please visit my website,nearestanddearestpodcast.
com.
There you will find show notesand links.

(14:42):
The views and opinionsexpressed by Nearest And Dearest
Podcast are those of theauthors and do not necessarily
reflect the official policy orposition of Nearest And Dearest

(15:02):
Podcast.
Any content provided by JulieRogers or any other authors are
of their opinion.
They are not intended to malignany religion, ethnic group,
club, organization, company,individual or anyone or anything
.
Thank you.