Exploring Intimacy and Self-Love with Marissa Lynn Healing

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Marissa Lynn returns to share her incredible journey of transformation and empowerment through her training in sexological bodywork and somatic sex education that brought her all the way to Australia. Her adventure begins in Hawaii, where she rekindled a cherished friendship and discovered the magic of traveling solo. Marissa shines a light on the integrity and ethics of the Institute of Somatic Sexology, highlighting their trauma-informed approach and the meaningful welcome ceremony by Aboriginal people. Despite battling illness, Marissa's experience was enriched by the connection with the land and the power of spiritual awakening, underscoring the unexpected gratitude for Western medicine along the way.

Travel becomes a catalyst for personal growth, as Marissa reflects on the challenges and rewards of intense training abroad. Her story takes a mystical turn with a past trip to Haiti that sparked a life-changing spiritual awakening, showcasing the unique energy different lands offer. The conversation branches into the profound impact of embracing new cultures and experiences, balancing personal desires and partnership dynamics, and how aligning workout routines with the menstrual cycle can optimize well-being. Listeners are invited to explore the themes of body acceptance, intimacy, and empowerment, learning how somatic practices can foster a deep sense of self-love.

Personal sovereignty and curiosity in relationships take center stage as Marissa discusses the nuances of compromise within partnerships. Her personal story with her husband on navigating individual needs versus shared activities offers a relatable insight into maintaining personal space while enhancing connection. 

This episode promises a rich tapestry of personal stories, professional insights, and transformative experiences, making it a must-listen for those on their own journeys of self-discovery and empowerment.


Connect with Marissa:
marissalynnhealing.com
IG: @marissalynnhealing
Join the Red Tent facebook.com/groups/503873578646785/ 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to the Nearly Enlightened podcast.
I am your host, giannaGiarrusso, and I am joined by
Marissa Heater.
From Marissa Lynn Healing, shejoins us again.
If you haven't listened to herfirst episode, go back a couple.
I think it was like September.
Go back, listen to that episodeif you want to know a little
bit more about her, about whatshe does.
Last time she left us she wasabout to embark on like a very

(00:25):
life-changing trip and I'll letyou take it away.
Marissa, tell us about yourtrip.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Okay, wow, it's like, where do I even begin?
Yeah, so I went to thein-person training for
sexological bodywork and somaticsex education in Australia, and
so my travel journeys actuallyled me to go to Hawaii first and
spend some time with abeautiful goddess that I am

(00:54):
friends with, and it was arekindling of our friendship and
we did so much magic and Hawaiiis its own entire portal that I
feel like I need to go back to,and I kind of did that to break
up the flight to Australia.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
I know, because that is like a full, like 24 hour,
especially from where we arelike more on, like towards the
eastern coast of the UnitedStates.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
That's a big trip coast of the United States.
That's a big trip.
Yeah, I highly recommend, ifyou are going to Australia, to
like look into flying to Hawaiifirst, cause it actually saved
me so much money.
Um, which is ridiculous, likethat it was cheaper for me to go
to Hawaii for a few days thanto just like fly straight.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
And like how awesome is that you got a little
vacation too.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Exactly, yeah, and so there are some, there are a few
hands, there are like a handfulof big things, like it was my
first time ever traveling likereally solo, and like arriving
in a different country by myself, checking into a hotel alone,
like all of those things weretheir own level of like
empowerment and deepening myjourney into self and trust in

(02:05):
who I am and the decisions Imake and my own intuition.
Um, granted, australia isexceptionally safe, so pretty
easy to do.
Um, but, yeah, I, the trainingitself was so awesome Like I
just have I really hold theInstitute of Somatic Sexology,
which is who I studied with andlike really high regard because

(02:28):
their integrity is so strong andespecially when we're working
in the realms of sexuality andTantra.
There is everyone has kind ofheard the horror stories of, you
know, people not having solidboundaries, I guess I should say
, or facilitators not holdingstrong boundaries, and the

(02:51):
mentors and the teachers that Iworked with kind of joke that
they're like teaching themselvesinto celibacy because the
ethics are so strong around,like what you can and cannot do,
and like the level ofappropriateness, which I just
love, actually, because it'sjust like it just creates such a
container of safety, like whenI arrived, and like our, you

(03:14):
know, beginning likeintroduction is all of us like
eye gazing and moving around theroom and like connecting to
each person and breathingtogether.
And then we're going into likeethics and professionalism and
the board of likeprofessionalism that they're
under, which is incredible.
And then also the fact that ourvery first initial thing that

(03:36):
we did there was a welcome tocountry with the Aboriginal
people.
So the Aboriginal people, whoare like on this land, actually
welcomed us in this beautifulceremony and so it's just like
the weaving that that trainingheld of like still allowing the
spiritual component and, whileit not being maybe necessarily

(03:58):
the main focus, like the mainfocus is being trauma, informed
and it's educational and it'slike an actual training versus,
like you know, one of the thingsthat they said is you're not
really like here for yourexperience, like, you're having
an experience always, but you'reactually here to learn and to
be informed and to be able toteach.
And we had like small groupsevery single day where it was

(04:23):
just like normalized, to be likeokay, what do you need in this
moment?
Do you need to talk?
Do you need to be held?
What type of touch would besupportive for you right now in
your nervous system and likeleaning into, like oh, actually
be really nice if someone justlike played with my hair and
because we're all in this, likereally under these, like same

(04:44):
ethics and like no one'ssleeping together and things
like that.
It created this level ofconnection to where we could
connect platonically butintimately and I mean I guess I
could answer specifics on thethings that we do later, like

(05:06):
what, what exactly is this?
But my personal journey alittle bit was that I ended up
getting really sick the secondweek and it was like really, I
think for me, yes, I caught avirus, but I also think it was
like unprocessed grief in mylungs, cause like I do think
that grief is stored in thelungs.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah and um and sometimes whenwe get sick, like that it's, it
really is energetic and when youunlock that energetic component
, like it speeds up the healingprocess.
I've I've noticed that in myown healing journey, Like when I
was 27,.
I like never really get sick,but I was sick for over a month

(05:51):
and I literally could not kickit and it was something that I
was moving through energetically, Like it wasn't physical.
I went and had all the bloodwork done.
Like I was like why am I sosick?
But once I unlocked thoseenergetic components, everything
shifted and it's almost likeyou was like why am I so sick?
But once I unlocked thoseenergetic components, everything
shifted and it's almost likeyou're, like your DNA is being
recoded.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
A thousand percent and like I feel like in the
first few days I was there, Ihad like two huge experiences
where, like through high eroticstates of me, me like receiving
as a client from one of the wewere, we would like go back and
forth between being afacilitator and being a client

(06:33):
with our colleagues, essentially, and or the other people in the
training.
And there was one instance inwhich case I think it was like
active receiving and I had thislike really big kind of like
Kundalini, huge sort ofpsychedelic experience, but it
was just through my own breath,sound, movement, touch and the

(06:55):
touch that I asked for from myfacilitator or from this like
person that was facilitating forme in this moment.
And so I know that that likestarted opening up a lot of
energy.
And then the other instancehappened and it was actually
like a full circle thing from apsychedelic journey years ago,

(07:16):
that like, which is why I alwaysthink it's so interesting how
long it can take us to integratemedicine, because I I literally
had the psychedelic journeylike four years ago and it was
like this trip and this momentthrough embodiment specifically,
that the psychedelic tripactually finally made sense four
years later.
So I find it so potent how wecan, when we work in the mystery

(07:40):
, which is what the path of thefeminine is, is trusting in the
mystery, that we don't have toassign meaning to all in the
mystery, that we don't have toassign meaning to all of the
experiences that we have, and weget to let ourselves be
surprised by God.
We get to let God like open usup, or goddess or the universe,
whatever language people want touse for that but we get to let
that level of surprise and thathappened.

(08:00):
And, of course, like I feel likemy system opened like so much
and then the right after I gotlike really sick and I like
broke my fever, thought I waspast it and like just kept
getting sick again.
And I've never had that happenwhere, like I break a fever and
then get sick right after I'mlike wait, what's going on?

(08:20):
Like why am I still sick?
And that's what I, like youwere talking about with when you
were 27 is like I know thatthis is something beyond and I'd
mentioned my brother and griefon this last podcast, and so
it's so interesting that that'sthe story that's come up as soon
as we start talking is Irealized that I actually was

(08:42):
fully afraid to let go becauseI'd had this instance when I did
fully release a lot of trauma,and then the next day has like
accident happened and I Ibasically came to a point when I
was like I don't actually haveto release if I don't want to,
which is like sovereignty, likeI can, I don't have to, I can

(09:04):
grip onto this as long as Idesire to and I trust that, like
, if I do let go, no matter whathappens, it's like in greatest
alignment.
And I actually had this is likeso woo woo, but I actually had
like a connection to mybrother's soul, like I could
like hear his voice and he'sstill alive.

(09:25):
He's just like in this, like inbetween, all the time.
So his cognition is very low,um, but I feel like his spirit
really travels and I like hadhim basically tell me like if I
hadn't done that release, Iwouldn't have been able to
because it was forgiving him forso much when his accident
happened.
I wouldn't have been able to,because it was forgiving him for
so much when his accidenthappened.

(09:46):
I wouldn't have been able to dothe magic and the rituals that
he led me through that allowedus to kind of stay in this unit
and it was part of like mykarmic path and his karmic path
and our path together.
Um, and so interestingly, hecomes while I'm sick and I like

(10:06):
feel him basically like let itgo, like let all of this grief
out, and it was like probablythree nights in a row I just had
like tons of sobbing and on thethird night finally like let
everything go To have experiencelike that, being so far away
from home, like not having yourpeople around, like that's a

(10:27):
really hard thing to go through.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
That's like that's like the ultimate surrender
right.
Like you just have to movethrough those uncomfortable
feelings like you're.
There's no pushing it down atthat point, Like you just have
to move through that.

Speaker 2 (10:42):
Oh, a thousand percent.
Just have to move through that,oh a thousand percent.
And like I was so supported bythe people in the group and I
think that there is an elementof them not knowing me so well
that they could hold me in sucha beautiful way, because they're
like they were just completelyin beautiful service, which was
so cool.
And, interestingly, I actuallyhad a piece of a song bowl that

(11:07):
I played for my brother afterhis accident all the time and
that song bowl had broke and Ihad pieces of it with me and so
I like did a ritual by a Creekbecause he loves fishing and
this like forest, and it just assoon as I like let everything
go, I instantly looked so muchbetter, like I felt so much

(11:28):
better.
All of my health like came backand it was so wild to hold.
Like learning during the dayand then having to care for my
body and being humbled so deeplybecause I went into the
training.
Like I've got this, this I'vebeen studying in this type of
work just like more in a lineagetradition for six years.
Like now I'm just getting thesciency side and the western

(11:52):
side and like this is going tobe great and to be like.
Actually, I'm completelyhumbled as like, far as I can be
, just as soon as we think weknow something, spirits like I
have a way deeper level for youto learn.
And, um, it ended up being likeso crazy.

(12:15):
Just, I always I was jokingthat I went from church camp to
sex camp because the style ofthe training reminded me of
church camp, that is so funny.
Just like the way that likethings were set up, I was like,
oh my gosh, this is hysterical.
I really come full circle in mylife.
The people I was with were socool.

(12:36):
It was so inspiring to be in aplace where everything is so
accepted.
In a place where everything isso accepted and there were
definitely like certain things,like my own judgments and
limitations that I had to workthrough.
And as far as getting sick likeI definitely took more Western
medicine than I ever do becauseI just didn't have access to

(12:59):
anything else and like thehumility of me always kind of
judging ibuprofen or judgingthese other things that I never,
that I like rarely interactwith anymore, and then being
like, actually I'm reallygrateful for western medicine
right now, like thank you somuch to science and western
medicine in this moment, becauseI am in a rainforest in a

(13:22):
foreign country and without it Iwould not be where I'm at.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
And to get through, like if anyone's been through
any kind of certificationprocess, it is grueling.
Like, especially because you'retaking in all of this new
information, your brain is likecompletely on overdrive, like we
used to joke all the time whenwe were going through like the
booty yoga trainings.
Like by the end of the day,your brain is mashed potatoes
like you are.
Like I possibly could not takein another like minuscule amount

(13:53):
of information like I, my brainis going to start oozing out of
my ears yeah, it was reallyintense and other people had
also gotten sick.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
So we had this like cuddle puddle in the back of the
room which turned into like asick puddle basically of just
like everyone who's sick justlaying on the squishy stuff and
then also moving through as muchof the embodiment portion as
our bodies could and the waythat they could and doing as
much hands-on body work aspossible.
But yeah, most of the days werelike we'd breakfast was seven,

(14:28):
30.
We'd be starting at eight, 55and going until we'd have like
breaks in between.
But there are plenty of daysthat we wouldn't end until like
eight or 9 PM for like two weeksand I was really sick for
probably three days than thatand then like somewhat sick for
six.
So it was manageable.

(14:51):
And there was a couple.
There was one day that we had afull rest day, so that was nice
.
And then Eric came and I gotbetter right before my husband
and my beloved arrived in thecountry and I was mostly better
and I feel like as soon as I sawhim, like all of my nervous

(15:13):
system was just like safe.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
Relaxed.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
Yeah, relaxation, yeah, exactly, and he was so
supportive the entire time andwas just like so excited to get
to me.
Um, and then I'm pretty sure wewere just like in full on bliss
for the next, for like the restof Australia and New Zealand,

(15:36):
and we had so many magicalexperiences with land, like the
places we got to visit and yourpictures were incredible.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
I was like stalking every day, like what's she doing
now?
Where is she?

Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah, the it's just unreal, just completely unreal,
and I feel like I'm I really dodevote some of my life to
animism and understanding howthe frequency of land changes
who we are and I felt that sostrongly, like even just like

(16:13):
New Zealand is so magical.
The South Island is like itsown little portal, but it's so
peaceful.
It's not like the intensity of,maybe, the Hawaiian Island
initiation.
It's more of this likefairytale, peaceful vibe.
There are a couple of placesthat were pretty intense, but

(16:37):
mostly it's yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:39):
It's funny because I talked about this.
We talked about this a littlebit on the podcast.
When Michaela came on, shetalked about Kundalini and she
also went on like a very Epicyoga retreat to Portugal and
like nothing brings you closerto God or spirit or, like you
said, whatever you want to callit than traveling, because not
only are you connecting with allof these people who are from

(17:03):
different experiences,perspectives, cultures and
you're getting a taste of theirworld, but it's the land itself,
Like like God created this,like holy shit, it is so magical
and I've had those experiencestoo.
Like the first time I went outto Colorado and then when I
moved there, I was just like somoved by the mountains there and

(17:24):
you just look around and you'rein awe and like you can't help
but feel connected to God'sspirit whatever you want to call
it until you're in thosepositions, and then it's, it
hits you Even if you don'tbelieve, like you can't help but
not believe, just by lookingaround, like you are part of
this, like perfect creation, andit's like you said, it's

(17:49):
humbling.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
I just got lost in your story of the mountains.
Um, yeah, and that was like myvery first spiritual awakening,
was my first trip that I evertook out of the country.
I went to Haiti on a missiontrip and I had a spontaneous
kundal awakening where I waslike, oh, I'm not actually a
Christian, huh, it's a lot moreintense than that.

(18:13):
I was at this waterfall wherethey do voodoo festivals and I
actually don't know a ton aboutvoodoo or anything like that, so
I can't speak on anythingreally about it, to be fair, but
I know that there was a magicto that land and like a portal
to that waterfall, and I, myfeet hit the soil and I honestly

(18:35):
thought that I was dehydratedand was going to pass out,
because I just started feelinglike all of this energy and
there was like symbols carvedinto the tree and they started
glowing and I have no conceptfor any sort of altered state at
this point.
I am, and any anything that Ihad experienced, younger.
I had like shut down and turnedoff and so, um, yeah, it was

(19:00):
really destabilizing but endedup being really beautiful in the
long run and I'm reallygrateful that the land gave me
that initiation because it likeshifted.
That was definitely like theturning point, the quantum,
really like the quantum leap andlike, okay, no, you're going to
take this next step.
And that's what so much of thistravel journey was for me.

(19:20):
It was really this quantum leapinto am I going to be all in on
my business?
Am I going to be all in on mysoul's truth of?
I believe pleasure is ourbirthright.
I believe our nervous systemshould be attuned to what feels
good for us, and so much of thetraining what we're doing is
we're constantly askingourselves, okay, what does feel

(19:42):
good and why?
What comes up when we try toact in a place of like, oh, I
want to lean into this and Ithink it feels good, but for
whatever reason, I feel shame,for whatever reason I'm judging
myself, for whatever reason I'mjudging someone else or shaming
someone else for this type ofpleasure in their life.
And of course, there is nuanceto this right, like it might

(20:04):
taste good in a moment to eat areally sugary cake, but it
doesn't make us feel good in thelong run.
And so there's always a balanceof learning, okay, what feels
good for me over a period oftime, and playing in those
dynamics as well, and that'ssomething I support some of my

(20:24):
clients with, not specificallyaround food, but just in general
, around anything that's cominginto us Like what is a true felt
sensation of embodied pleasure.
That is a lasting pleasure formy lifestyle.
Um, because, like, there'scertain like and what.
Things are somewhat painful butactually end up being

(20:45):
pleasurable right.
Like when I go to the gym and Ilift weights.
I don't love the burn all thetime, like sometimes I'm like
ouch, this is like not fun.
But when I'm able to bike allsummer long through Chicago and
I'm able to like pick up kids,when I babysit or help with
families that I know and it'seasy and I'm not tired and my

(21:09):
body feels good, that's like a,that's like an embodied form of
pleasure.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
I love reframing it that way because sometimes, like
you know, yesterday I was kindof having this moment of like
doing some backend work on mywebsite and just like my
automations, and that is likepainful to me, that is like
excruciating.
It's like not the work that Iwant to be doing, but when it's

(21:38):
done and when it's complete andwhen people can move through my
website seamlessly and have agreat experience and they're
brought through a customerjourney in a seamless way, like
that makes that painfulexperience worth it.
It makes it like you have toget through that, like there's

(21:58):
no other way around it, right,like I had to sit here and just
get it done.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
Like I had to sit here and just get it done A
thousand percent.
And a lot of times when it'slike, when I look at my list and
there's the things that I wantto do the least when I get, when
I just like lean into, like,okay, I'm actually gifting
myself the space later, I'mgifting myself the pleasure of
you know, in like that case foryou, it's like you're gifting

(22:26):
yourself the pleasure ofefficiency and you're gifting
yourself the pleasure of youknow your clients being able to
book easily and not have to textyou a million times to figure
out how to get into your work orget into the next thing, and it
makes your life easier overtime.
So you're really givingyourself ease and you're like,

(22:47):
okay, I'm doing this now tocreate this ease for me later.
And I noticed that when I dothat in my own life with like
the bigger tasks, as soon as Ilike knock them out of the way,
I'm like, oh, that actuallydidn't take as long as I thought
it would, and it like it wasn'tthat bad.
It wasn't that bad, Wouldn'tyou know?

Speaker 1 (23:10):
That is exactly the experience I had yesterday.
I was like wow.
I've been putting this off forthree weeks and it literally
took me 35 minutes yeah, I dothe same thing.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
Yeah, so what?
So I guess people probably aremight be asking like, what is
sexological body work?

Speaker 1 (23:30):
Yes, and like what?
If you go to like work with you, like, what does a session look
like?

Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yes, this is such a great question.
So it really depends on theperson and what they want to
work with, right?
So the main thing that we aredoing as sexological body
workers or somatic sex educatorsis we are empowering people and
understanding deeperself-agency and stepping into a
deeper somatic mind-bodyconnection, and so a big portion

(24:02):
of it is we're horizontalizingthe, horizontalizing pleasure in
the body, and so it's notexcluding genitals as a place of
, it's not hyper focusing orexcluding genitals, if that
makes sense.
So it really depends on what aperson comes to me with.
If someone comes to me with anissue such as like we can work

(24:24):
on issues which I kind of hate,that languaging, but we can work
on like blocks that are comingup for them around erotic energy
or sexual energy in their life,such as lack of arousal, or,
you know, some women feel likethey have an inability to orgasm
or they've never had thatexperience of orgasm.
Um, what we can do is we canstart to work with, you know,

(24:49):
pleasure scales and pleasuremapping, and so if someone came
to me with lack of arousal,we're going to start working
with breath and mind connectionfirst to see like, okay, where,
where might we be numbingsomatically in the body and then
working with finding like okay,what is it like?
How aroused am I touching myforehead versus like my big toe,

(25:11):
and we start to map the entirebody on what feels good and what
doesn't feel good, because alot of times when people are
struggling with certain issues,especially around like lack of
arousal or inability to orgasm,they're doing the same type of
touch, the same way every time.
So, clearly, if you're doingthe same thing every time and

(25:33):
you're not getting the resultyou want, there's got to be a
change, and so we're reallyfocusing on bringing the whole
body in.
And so we're really focusing onbringing the whole body in.
So a session may look like youknow one of my clients.
She's working on pleasuremapping.
She wants to be able to feelorgasmic energy all over her
body, like decentralized fromthe genitals, like she has no

(25:55):
issue orgasming and sex and withpartners, and so what that
looks like is, you know, mappingpleasure throughout the entire
body.
So it's hands on toucheverywhere and yes, I do work
with the vulva at times buthands on touch throughout the
entire body space Okay, what,what feels good and where.

(26:21):
And moving into those places ofoh, actually like the backs of
the knees are highly erotic, andhow can that be woven into
experiencing deeper sensation?
Or for her, she'll like seecolors and have these like
bigger experiences.
Um, another client of minereally struggles with body shame

(26:44):
and this is a story that Irecently shared like with her
permission.
But she came to me like with alot of body shame, absolutely
hating the way her body looks,especially like stretch marks on
her stomach, which I know somany women struggle with.
It's like so common.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
Yeah, I mean I went to an all-girl high school.
Like if you stepped into thelocker room like these are
conversations that you wouldhear and we were teenagers.
And then I worked at Victoria'ssecret for a lot of my early
adult life and being in thefitting room there helping women
find the right bras that fitlike same conversations would

(27:28):
happen there.
Like more often than not, youfind that women have been kind
of conditioned to hate theirbody and like I think even now
with like I've talked about itwith Kat on this podcast about
wanting to change things aboutour face.
Like I've talked about it withKat on this podcast about
wanting to change things aboutour face like plastic surgery
has become like an explosion inour culture.
Just like, oh well, if youdon't like it, just like suck it

(27:50):
out, tuck it, inject it.
Like we're literally beingconditioned to hate the way that
we are down to like filters onour phone.
Like we're distorting the waythat we see ourselves.
So like, of course, like we'realways looking at ourselves
through these like portraitfilters that make us look

(28:10):
absolutely perfect and then whenwe look in a mirror that
doesn't have those capabilities,it's like, oh, I actually
fucking hate myself a thousandpercent and it's.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
You know, I always tell people I'm like any sort of
body modification that you make, whether it's plastic surgery,
to braces, to whatever the thing, whether it's a health or an
aesthetic reason I tell people,like, spend a lot of time and
embodiment and asking your bodyis this really the right choice
for me?
What is the intention behindthis?
What is this going to lead meto?

(28:49):
Because there's so manypossible things like and
understanding the risks of that,understanding what goes into
implants, understanding thepossible risks of surgery and
the possibility that you mayfeel the exact same way
post-surgery, or even worse, ormaybe it's better, maybe it is.

(29:12):
You have this one thing thatyou've always wanted bigger
boobs, whatever it is, and thissurgery does give you that
empowerment and does give youthat confidence.
Like, I don't know.
I don't know people's journeysand also I know that, regardless
, we should be falling in lovewith our bodies, no matter what,
and we should be accepting andfalling in love with how we are

(29:35):
as is, and making any sort ofdecision based on a place of
love and not a place of you'renot enough.
I need to fix you, I need tosolve you and, yeah, so, like
this client.
She came to me with that and weactually worked with an
undressing ritual, which wasreally fun.
And so no mirrors, becausemirrors could be really

(29:57):
triggering, and so we workedwith like dropping in with
breath and sound and likefinding where her safe space was
and her understanding.
Where in your body do youorganically?
feel safe and for her she waslike when I close my eyes, like
I love my energy, like I lovehow I feel in me, like eyes

(30:18):
closed, no external world, likeI love me inside and I was, was
like amazing.
So this is like where we'regoing to return over and over,
and I believe it was in herfirst session.
She would take off a piece ofmaybe like jewelry, and we're
slowing it down so much that,like each earring, it's like

(30:39):
okay, slowly, take, take it off,notice how it feels like coming
out of the ear, notice thesound of the beads when they're
like in your hand, noticing eachlike bracelet coming off and
like doing it so slow that youcan actually somatically connect
to every sense while it'shappening, because so often when

(30:59):
we take things off, we'reliterally just like I'm just
going to pull it off reallyquickly, just take my clothes
off, get into the next phase.
Um and so she, you know, movingthrough it slowly and then also
moving through it quickly, likewhat does it feel like to rip
one off your hands?
And like noticing theenergetics of that.
Um and sorry, I feel like mycat is meowing in the background

(31:24):
.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
No, it's okay.
You I don't know if you couldhear before, but my cats were
like straight up brawling.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
That is so funny.
Cats are insane.
But yeah, so she eventually,you know, she got to a place of
taking off and she would ask meto like turn away.
So we played a lot with likethe difference of what it feels
like to take something off andto be witnessed versus taking
something off and being in thatsafe space Noticing.

(31:53):
How does it feel with eyesclosed, eyes open.
I'm going to be facing away Now.
Ask like, whenever she would askme to view her, what does it
feel like to have my gaze on her?
Where does she want my gaze tobe?
And like, even for so manywomen having the power to ask
for these things and to actuallylike be like assertive about it

(32:17):
right, because that was anotherthing that came up in the next
session that I'll talk about ina minute is, like we have so
often won't ask for what we want.
We so often will be like, ifyou want to, would you, if you
want to, you can turn and lookat me.
Versus I want you to witness meand like we've been conditioned
and programmed to neveractually fully speak what we

(32:41):
want and what we desire andinstead we do all of these like
background ways of like, if youwant to, maybe you could,
instead of just saying I wantyou to.
And so when she got to herstomach which I actually kept my
back turned the entire time forthat because that was the

(33:01):
safest in her body, and I wouldslow down when she would ask me
and be like, okay, what doesyour body say?
Like your mind is quick to saydo this or do that, what does
your body really want right now?
And she was in a closed eyestate, feeling her stomach and
with her eyes closed, afterbeing in this sort of like

(33:21):
meditative space of somaticconnection, she started laughing
, touching her stomach and shewas like I actually think it's
like so fun, the sensory likeconnection and difference as
she's moving really slowly,touching different areas of her
stomach, of the differenttexture of the stretch marks
versus the regular smooth skin,and like she was like it

(33:47):
actually feels so fun, like Ilove the way this feels.
And she was just kind of lostfor a few minutes, like
exploring her stomach and thisplace of joy, and so when she
opens her eyes, she was like oh.
But when I opened my eyes andlook at it once again, I hate it
and I'm like, okay, well, let'sslow that down.
Like your felt sensation, yourtrue embodied sense was I love
the way my stomach feels and thebelief of I hate my stomach.

(34:10):
That's not your belief at all.
That's not actually your belief, because when you're in your
inner space, when you'reconnected to that soul space
that we dropped in with thatenergy that you love, that feels
true to you.
That's your truth, as I love mystomach.
The other belief that's society,that's your family, that's
other people that have told youover time that, for whatever

(34:33):
reason, this is wrong and youcould just like see the shift
and her energy and like thetransformation.
And she was like've, like evensince she's loved it so much.
And our next step was heractually asking me to like
undress her and like takedifferent things off in our next
session.
So it'd be really slow andworking with the different

(34:53):
energetics and really in that itwas like her learning to ask
for what she wanted, learning toask and like how to use her
voice.
So these are a couple of clientsessions.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
That's such powerful work and I really have to like
just celebrate you for a moment,because that is such an
intimate space and we have kindof like convoluted intimacy to
think it's like this sexual.
It's like intimacy is alwaysthe sexual thing between two or

(35:26):
you know whatever people.
But like intimacy doesn't haveto be like like just that oh, a
thousand percent.

Speaker 2 (35:37):
I mean intimacy, if you break it down, means into me
, I see.
So I'm just supporting peopleand seeing deeper into
themselves.
If erotic energy arises, it'sokay, but it's not like a
relational thing between us.
They're in their own space,having their own experience and
discovering and learning abouttheir own body and what it's

(35:58):
capable of.
They're really pushing theboundaries of like, oh, what
more could I possibly experiencein my body, like you know so
many, so many boundaries I holdin place.
Like I'm fully clothed duringevery session I have with
clients, I wear gloves whentouching them, like various

(36:18):
things like that.
Like there's definitely thatprofessionalism, in the same way
that if someone was workingwith a medical professional and
the patient was in a place ofnudity, the medical professional
would be clothed.
Or a massage therapist isclothed, um and so right.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
Like it's not this it's not like a sexual
experience, it's you're holdingspace for their experience to
shift, like you had with thatclient, like to shift their the
whole way that they viewthemselves exactly the whole way
they view themselves, theirwhole ability to experience

(36:56):
their body.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
Um, there's actually a really fun show on netflix if
people get really curious calledsex love goop, and it goes
directly into the work that I do, um, and very similar work or
like complimentary work.
So anyone really wants to watchsome clients sessions, you can
go on Netflix and find it.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
So who would a session like?
Who would it be for?

Speaker 2 (37:20):
So who would a session like?
Who would it be for?
It would be for really anyperson who wants to expand
pleasure in their life or shiftbelief systems around their body
or around erotic energy ingeneral.
I mean, my husband and I wewere considering booking some

(37:41):
sessions just for ourrelationship to even like up
level to the next place, becausewe've been practicing Tantra
for a handful of years and we'relike, oh wow, there's even so
many other places we could go.
And with just a little bit ofguidance or a little bit of
direction on someone saying like, oh, marissa actually has some
core erotic themes here, eric'score erotic themes are here.

(38:03):
And having that outsideperspective where we may not be
able to communicate or see it,they can have that perspective
and then be like, if you guystried these set of things
together, you would be able toreally maximize your connection,
which I think is super powerful.
So it works for couples, itworks for individuals, it works

(38:25):
for people.
You know my training is traumainformed.
That being said, like we're notintentionally trying to go into
trauma, but if trauma arises itcan be really potent to hold
someone through that release andthen ideally, if someone has a
history of trauma.
They've already been workingwith a therapist or working with

(38:46):
someone with that and it's likea complimentary service for
that it's so interesting to me,yeah.
I mean, like we do so much withlike a whole wheel of consent
and so many like finding out thedifferent ways that we don't

(39:07):
even understand consent with ourown bodies, let alone how to
have consent with other people,or the or the back and forth of
like oh, I thought that I waslike in service to this person,
but I'm actually acceptingenergy from them and like
knowing how to move into likewho is this for and what is the

(39:28):
dynamic like?
One of the things we talkedabout that stood out to me
because so many people do thisall the time is like tolerance
is not consent.
If If we're toleratingsomething, we're not in consent.
If I'm tolerating a job, I'mnot consenting to this.
If I'm tolerating anything like, that is my nervous system and
my body bracing.

(39:49):
I'm literally teaching my bodythat it's not okay and I'm
putting my body in a situationof being outside of consent
while I tolerate through thisexperience.
So cue the Taylor Swift songtolerate it.

Speaker 1 (40:06):
You know we love her here.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
We know we love her.
I get to go to her concert intwo weeks.
I can't wait.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
Oh my God, that's so exciting.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
I'll tell you all about it later.
But yeah.
So you know it's it's likeinstead like it's.
You know I can view doing thedishes as tolerating it, but if
I have a mindset of I have awillingness to support my house,
I have a willingness to do that.
There's a big differencebetween tolerating and being
willing to do something, andit's completely a felt sensation

(40:38):
.
As soon as I noticed that I'mjust tolerating something.
It's the way that my pelvicfloor is clenching, that my
hands are like this, that mymind is angry, that my jaw is
tight.
All of that is me bracing andmy body is holding that
information as like literallyscreaming help me instead of oh.
I'm actually like.

(40:59):
Literally screaming help meinstead of oh, I'm actually like
.
Even though I don't love doingthe dishes, I can like put on
the nearly enlightened podcastand, you know, be like moving
through the dishes Cause I havea willingness for it.
It's not like I'm in a fullfuck.
Yes, I am just dying and soturned on to do my dishes, but
I'm more like all right, I'mgoing to get it done, I'm

(41:21):
willing to do this.
My husband made an incrediblemeal.
I feel like, I feel useful, Ihave purpose.

Speaker 1 (41:30):
Yeah, I think it's important to to reframe those
things and it goes back to likewhat I was saying about
yesterday.
It's like I could could havehad like a hundred bad things to
say about my time on thecomputer and like framed it very
negatively, but instead likereframing it as like creating
this space for myself.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
A thousand percent.
And so much of what we're doingis we're creating reframes
somatically, so that people arecoming to those reframes on
their own through a feltsensation in their body.
You know, if it's oh, I don'thave the ability to orgasm, it's
like you actually probably dohave the ability to orgasm.

(42:13):
Let's work with, like,different types of strokes,
different types of tools,different types of full body
connection, because, especiallyfor a lot of women, like it
actually like we have just asmuch engorgeable tissue as men.
Women just don't know this, andit takes 30 to 40 minutes

(42:33):
typically for that engorgementto happen, whereas men it
happens in like two or less.
And so it really is thatslowing down and connecting to
like oh, what does feel good forme, because I think so many
people think that orgasm is likea sneeze of an experience.
That is such a good way to putit.

(42:55):
Like, yeah, like my mentor saidthat people at my training said
that I love how this likeanalogy gets thrown around in
this world.

Speaker 1 (43:04):
Have you ever read Pussy?
A Reclamation by ReginaTamashor.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
Yes, I love that book .

Speaker 1 (43:11):
So she talks about extended massive orgasm and I
forget his name, but the doctorand his wife, who, like, kind of
, have coined these terms andlike do this work.
And she talks about how she hada six-hour orgasm and like that
is possible for every woman.

(43:33):
When I read that book for thefirst time which now that was
going back to like I want to sayI read that in like 2017.
It literally blew my mind, likeif every, every woman should be
given this book at puberty andbe like here you go.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
I love the like beginning of that book when
she's like I couldn't have foundGod in a church.
I found her between my legs,yes, or something like that.
I was like literally my entirelife anthem and yeah, that's
entirely possible.
And like what we call that assomatic sex educators and
sexological body workers isexpanding orgasmicity, so

(44:18):
somebody could come on to mytable and what they really want
to do is they want their orgasmto be beyond a sneeze of a
moment and all they need istools and different ways of
working with breath andexpanding breath and sound and
movement to bring us into that.
And so many of those traditionsof breath, sound, movement,
touch, touch like somatic sexeducation and sexological body

(44:41):
work is definitely doing it on amore western side, but they're
like it's all rooted in taoism.
It's all rooted in like there'sso many like teachings of
taoism and tantra like woveninto this so for those who might
not be familiar, just explainthose two things very briefly.
I would say that they areEastern spiritual traditions

(45:05):
that work with allowing sexualenergy to take one to a higher
state of consciousness or toreach into divinity through
erotic states, states and sosomatic sex education and
sexological body work.
That's not necessarily the goal, but some of the practices that
were taught in those traditionsare woven in in a way of

(45:28):
showing it, through neuroscienceand how our bodies are, these
incredible experiences andthat's like where Kundalini kind
of comes from, as well as likethese types of traditions.
And that's like where Kundalinikind of comes from, as well as
like these types of traditions,sort of.
But yeah, that's the whole.
That would be too long of apodcast.
I'm keeping it brief.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
I know you you literally could be studying this
for like years and years andyears.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
Yeah, I feel like I still only know a pinky nail of
it and my journey on studyingsome of that stuff was years ago
and I'm like, yeah, I know likea tiny, tiny bit, and that's
that's how I feel about yoga too, and especially these ancient
sciences.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
It's like they are 1000s of years old.
So even if you're studying for10 years like, you're still a
beginner 1000% we're.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
We're all just walking each other along and
just like oh, this person knowsa little bit more than me.
I'm going to spend time withthem for a while.
Or they know something in adifferent way than I do, or a
different modality, um, or theyhave a different comprehension
of it in a way that can expandmy awareness.

Speaker 1 (46:35):
Danica, who has been on the podcast.
Um, she was a yoga teacher ofmine and then we just became
friends, um, but when she ledour first um, our first weekend
in teacher training, she saidI'm not an expert but I'm a
pretty good guide and I was likelike I need to learn from her,
because having that awareness,like if a teacher or guru or

(47:01):
practitioner or healer you'reworking with like claims to know
it all, like run in the otherfucking direction, like run as
fast as you can away, because,like no one has it all figured
out, and even, like you said,you get to these places in
spirit and you're like, oh, I'mdoing so good.
And spirit's like hold my beer,like watch this lesson.

Speaker 2 (47:23):
Absolutely, and we want teachers that walk with
humility and also walk with.
I have a mastery of this thingto where I'm at in my life, over
my own field, and that's, Ithink, like the dance of like.
I can say that I am a master ofmy, of embodiment for my own
body Right, and it's why I, like, part of my journey with

(47:45):
sovereignty is never judging theway other people eat or drink
or move, because I don't knowhow their body processes.
Things like mine can be super.
Things like mine can be super,and being in a sacred union
partnership will totally humblethat all the time.
Because, like, it's neverceases to amaze me how, like my

(48:07):
husband can have a beer and he'sthe exact same person, whereas
like alcohol for me, like is ano-go.
Like I don't do it, um, itinstantly just takes me out of
my alignment and I've beenhaving that experience.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
Uh, so like I haven't been drinking.
And then this last Saturday Ireally like leaned in and let me
tell you like if you watchVanderpump Rules, like Stassi
talks about dark passengertaking over that is my
experience.
Like alcohol goes in, darkpassenger takes over, gianna
goes somewhere else and likeyeah, it's bad yeah, and it's.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
It's one of those things that, like some people,
biologically it doesn't happenfor, like my husband also has
impeccable boundaries witheverything all the time.
Like it's just who he is he's.
I asked him if he was aboutthings and he's like I'm neutral
on that.
Like it, just like I'm like doyou want to do this now?
Like, just like, so quickly, tolike know who he is and what he

(49:12):
wants and where he's going andhold that.
And so I feel like for him andit's also, you know, ancestral
right.
Like he has a family who for avery long time, has had a
healthy relationship withworking with alcohol in a way,
whereas my family only workedwith it in like mass addiction

(49:32):
and disassociation, and hisfamily was like, oh, it's just
like a social thing we dosometimes.
So it's interesting to for likeme, as a person who's in a
sacred union, to be like allright, he doesn't have an issue
with this and I'm justprojecting this and instead of
being like you know.

(49:53):
So anyways, yeah, it's thedance of partnership is its own
journey and something that is sopowerful and sacred, because
what you start to learn when youreally and long term committed
relationships is how, instead ofjudging what the partner is

(50:13):
doing, like becoming reallycurious, like I always tell
people, like if your partner isinto something that you're like
not interested in, or it'soutside of your, your box, or
something like that, like justget really curious about what
they're into and see whatunfolds for you.
Even if you don't do it or likecause I don't believe in
compromise, I tell all of mycouples like I don't believe in

(50:37):
compromise.

Speaker 1 (50:38):
So this is actually one of the questions that came
up.
So we asked Instagram yesterdayif there were any questions and
a few people actually had likethe same variation of this one
question, so I'll get into it.
So because it's very alignedwith what you're saying now.
So it said in the last podcastyou said something along the

(51:00):
lines of like you don't believein sacrifice and compromise when
it comes in a relationship.
So how do you work throughconflict in a healthy and a
healthy and constructive way Ifyou're not compromising or
sacrificing?
I thought that was a reallygood question.

Speaker 2 (51:17):
I love this question.
Thank you to the person whoasked, because this is one of my
absolute favorite things totalk about.
I mean, so much of it comesback to curiosity, like I was
talking about.
But what happens is like okay,so if I really want a pink rug
and my husband really wants ablue rug, right, and we're like

(51:39):
you can't have that rug, and sowe settle and get a green rug
that neither of us fucking likeneither of us want a green rug.
What we're doing is both of usare actually cutting off a part
of ourself and then neitherperson is happy and then it's
just creating resentment.
And this is what compromisedoes, right, as it starts to

(52:03):
create resentment and it startsto create disconnection and
distrust with our own selves.
Instead, the like what I saywould be fun to do is get really
curious about the color blueand he gets really curious about
the color pink and see what canhappen when you come in Like
these are very minor.

(52:24):
I'm talking about a very minorsituation here of a rug, because
you know that's definitely notas much of a of a thing, right,
and a lot of times, most of thetime with something like a rug
or where to eat or somethinglike that.
There's always like a happymiddle or a middle or like a
place where it's like, oh,actually that's exciting for
both of us, like we both have awillingness and an excitement

(52:46):
for this.
But when we're talking aboutbigger situations and bigger
experiences of compromise, whatthat's doing is it's actually
like cutting a part of ourselfoff, and that starts to create
fragmentation, and then there'sresentment because it's like I'm

(53:06):
going against the consent ofwhat I want to do or who I am to
make this other person happy,and so this happens.
A lot with how couples spendtheir time is.
It's like one person you knowreally likes this.
This used to be a thing for myhusband and I, so I'll just full
on share this exact issue thatwe had and the way that I would
compromise and put myself and mydesires aside.

Speaker 1 (53:32):
Which I think is very natural for women, Like we've
been conditioned to be this way,one and two, like it's it's
kind of in our nature to be thisway.

Speaker 2 (53:44):
A thousand percent Like we.
We have been told that this iswhat we're supposed to do.
So my husband likes to go onreally long walks on Thursday
and, like he works Mondaythrough Wednesday night shift so
he sleeps throughout that week.
Typically we see each otherjust in passing on those days.
So if it was a Thursday, like Iunless it's really nice out I

(54:04):
don't like to go on a 45 minutewalk to the store that he likes
to go to every Thursday and thena 45 minute walk back, like
during the summer, during thespring, sure, but it would get
cold and I would still do thiswalk because I was like, if I
don't, then I'm not showing upfor the marriage and I like he
doesn't want to spend time withme when really I wanted to go to

(54:25):
yoga, like I did not want to goon this walk.
And so I started to realizethat like I'm not enjoying the
walk and we're not actuallyhaving any enjoyable time
together, not actually havingany enjoyable time together, and
I'm in a high energy place ofexcitement and upregulation

(54:45):
because I want to spend timewith him and I'm doing it in a
way that's self-sacrifice.
So now I'm annoyed but I'm alsolike grippy kind of codependent
coming to this relationship andhe is tired from the week and
really just wants a long walk toclear his head.
He doesn't want to have deepconversations about our
relationship.
And so what I started torealize is that, through what

(55:10):
what's going on here is, I'mcompromising my, what I really
want to be doing, and he'scompromising his like meditation
, walking, meditation space totry and force this thing
together.
And so instead what we came tois like all right, you do you, I
do me.
That's like sovereignty.

(55:31):
I'm going to go to yoga, you goon a walk, and even though we
don't have that two hourstogether when he gets home, the
hour that we do have together,the two hours we have together,
is so much more lush because wetook the time for ourselves
first and we come to it in awhole person space.
And so, when it comes tocompromising, you know there's a

(55:53):
time and a place when we want,like you know, part of getting
curious is like I get reallycurious around, okay, what is my
energy actually?
And like he's good, it'sThursday, today he will wake up
and go for a long walk.
I actually have a priorcommitment to Shabari, but
that's besides the point.
If I didn't, I would getcurious around four or five

(56:17):
o'clock when he typically getsup and ask myself, like, oh,
what does my body want to doright now?
Not, what does Eric want to do?
Not, what is Eric doing?
Do I want to go on a long walk,regardless of whether he's
doing this?
Would that feel fun, would thatfeel playful?
To walk through the city?
It's very alive.

(56:37):
I like walks in the city.
To like walk through the city,it's very like alive.
I like walks in the city.
Um, it's one of the things thatI enjoy about living in city.
Life is just like theexcitement in the air.
And so I get, I would getcurious.
And if the answer is like acomplete fuck, no, then it's
like, if I do that, I amviolating Once again.
That's moving into tolerance,I'm violating the consent of my

(56:58):
body, I'm self sacrificinginstead of okay, I really want
to do this regardless.
And the same can be true.
You know like sometimes thingsstart off as a no, and
especially when we're working inlike a long term partnership,
it's like okay, my partner islike for me, I'm suddenly
interested in Shibari, which isa Japanese BDSM bondage.

(57:22):
It's great, it's ropes, andEric I he's never like
organically been interested inthat, but I like the art form of
it and like I like the way that, like your blood flow shifts
and so when you're the personwho's being tied, there's an
element of surrendering deeperand deeper, which each tie of

(57:44):
the ropes and the person thatI'm working with is entirely
platonic and we're fully clothedin the whole thing.
We're just kind of doing it ina class setting, actually so
that they can learn the knotsand take it to their future
partner.
I'm really just a backup personbecause I have good boundaries
and consent and I can be like,actually I'm done now.

(58:08):
But you know, what ended uphappening is I, you know, spoke
to Eric and I was like I'mreally interested in this, like
I think it would be somethingthat would be cool for us to
explore intimately and maybeeven erotically one day.
Right now I'm exploring it in aplatonic space, but I think it
could be cool to bring in.
And so he just started to getcurious about it and started to

(58:30):
ask the person that I Started tohang out with, the person that
I'd done it once withplatonically.
And then he's like all right,well, let's look into a class,
let's just take a class on ittogether, and so that's like you
know, becoming interested inand observing what your
partner's interested in isreally the key of that, because

(58:51):
what we end up doing when we'rein a situation of conflict is we
are so stuck in what our egowants that we're not even caring
about what our partner isinterested in, and sometimes
there will be a place of voidwhere it's like we're not in
residence and we're not in asolution yet, and that is where

(59:11):
actually, like, holding theenergy and holding the tension
is so important.
It's like he believes this way.
I believe this way is soimportant.
It's like he believes this way.
I believe this way Can we holdeach other's perspective, get
curious about what the otherone's interested in, without
losing my belief and trustingthat we don't have to come to an
agreement by the time we go tobed tonight, that we can

(59:33):
actually lovingly be like allright, we're not in agreement
with this, we don't have asolution.
Let's continue to love eachother and to show up intimately
and vulnerably and get curiousabout what could possibly happen
, because nine times out of 10,maybe one person goes to the
other side and gets reallyinterested in the other person's

(59:56):
thing, or maybe there's aco-creation between the that was
the perfect answer it was kindof long, but well, I love the
last part that you said.

Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
It's like you don't have to and this is something
that's like coming up for me.
It's like I never want to go tobed mad.
I want to talk about the thingto death.
I want to come up with asolution.
I want a solution right now and, um, you, you do kind of like
lose sight of, like, oh, but nowyou're just trying to get your

(01:00:32):
perspective across and you'renot even like listening.

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
Exactly.
I think it's one of thehealthiest things in the entire
world to go to bed angry.

Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
I hate the whole my boyfriend's going to be
listening to this, like, yeah,fuck you, I told you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
I mean, I think well the reason.
I think that is because whatwe're actually like our nervous
systems, if we're in that likehigh nervous system place of
defense, we're not listening.
We're not actually coming infrom the heart, we're just
trying to fix and to put aband-aid on something.
And, in the same way that whenwe walk in the path of the
feminine, we step into themystery and we step into the

(01:01:13):
void and we want, like you know,a true quantum leap, is like
I'm going to take all the safetynets out of my life and I'm
going to trust that God, goddess, et cetera, will provide for me
.
I'm going to trust that, likeevery step that I take in the
mystery is going to be there andI don't have to control and I
don't have to grip.

(01:01:33):
The same thing is true inpartnership.
When we're in a place ofconflict and we don't have a
resolution, we don't have ananswer, the best thing we can do
is to be like, all right, we'restepping into the void together
and like that's always what Iremind people of is it's not
like when you're in conflict,it's not like me versus you, we

(01:01:53):
are in a place together and thenwe're stepping into a new level
of mystery to get.
And when we step into thatmystery and we get to let go of
that ego.
I need this answer to be right.
I need my partner to agree withme on politics.
I need my partner to agree withme on healthcare and vaccines

(01:02:14):
and whatever the thing is forour future non-existent children
, instead of getting curiousabout all right, this is where
they believe.
This is where I believe.
What, if we trust that in thisvoid, deeper clarity will happen
and a deeper truth will come inand we can find like a place

(01:02:36):
where we can both be validatedand heard and get curious about
why is that person into that,why does that person like this
or like that?
And then we get to be surprised, like we really get to like let
our minds be blown.

Speaker 1 (01:02:53):
And I think that that's where and this is what I
say all the time, and sometimesit's easy to say but hard to
practice is like thoseuncomfortable feelings, those
uncomfortable conversations, oreven letting yourself be
uncomfortable in the void of noanswer.
Yet it's like that's where realgrowth and progress happens.

Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
A thousand percent, like so true, and and I, you
have to be willing to haveuncomfortable conversations and
and sit in the uncomfortabilityand like I struggle with that
myself years into thisrelationship is like I still
struggle with being like, oh myGod, I have to bring this up and
I'm so uncomfortable about itand I don't wanna share it.

(01:03:34):
And I thought we were doinggreat and perfect.
And it's like that's not true,like there has to be times that
we bring up the uncomfortableand, of course, we repeat
patterns, like we repeatpatterns to bring new awareness
to that experience.
Um, and so it's.
It's so incredibly.

(01:03:56):
And then, like allowing yourpartner to show up differently
is so huge.
It's like as soon as we holdthem to a projection of well,
I'm not even going to bring thisup to them because they're just
going to respond like this,instead of softening, coming to
the heart, expressing ourfeelings and then letting
ourselves see how they respondand being open to a different

(01:04:20):
possibility.

Speaker 1 (01:04:25):
That's good stuff right there.
I needed to hear that, probablymore than anyone on this
podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
I love that.
Were there any other questionswe didn't get to?

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
There is one other question.
So a lot of people are curiousand I think we did touch upon
this in the last episode alittle bit, but they a lot of
women want to know, like how youschedule, or if you work out
and schedule through your cycle.

Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
Oh, like you mean like like exercise?
Yes, yeah, working out throughmy cycle, yeah, I love this
question.
For me and my body personally,on day one and sometimes day two
, I tend to not work out.
I tend to like really go intodeep rest, um, and then usually

(01:05:19):
on day two or three, I start todo like more restorative yen
types of yoga, occasionally alittle bit of flow, and then
typically by day three, like mybody is ready for like a full
yoga flow and movement and thatactually kind of tips it into
like letting the blood flow more.
But I, for me, personally, Ithink that when we're on day one

(01:05:42):
, like the best thing and thisisn't true for all bodies, so I
would say, like play with it.
Like, if you're a woman on thiscall listening on this podcast
and you're listening to this,like play around with what feels
good in the moment and alsowhat feels good outside of the
moment I typically clear mycalendar on day one of my bleed,

(01:06:03):
if I can and do as little aspossible to really allow myself
intentional rest.
And when I say intentional restI'm saying, like you know, put
on meditation music, don't drinkcaffeine.
Like drink hot water and likenourishing teas and keep the
lights down low.
Like imagine that you areactually in a womb cave, going

(01:06:27):
into the cosmos.
Spend as much time in likereally slow spaces.
Like let yourself rest in bed,take a nap, take a hot bath,
take three hot baths if you want.
Like do as many like lusciousself-care things.
It's a great time for breastmassage.
It's a great time to sing songs.
It's a great time to breastmassage.
It's a great time to sing songs.
It's a great time to like doreally yummy stuff like that,

(01:06:51):
like face masks and all thethings, and intentionally rest.
And like a little bit of Netflix, sure, but if we're just like
bleeding, putting a heating padon and like disassociating
through Netflix all day, that'snot true intentional rest.
We want to be at least doingsome things that are
restoratively resting themind-body connection.

(01:07:13):
And for me personally, if Ihave a really solid day one or a
handful of hours even on dayone where I get that like
luscious rest.
I'm typically so much moremotivated for my entire rest of
my cycle, like that one extraday of really resting the body.

(01:07:33):
My workout on day three, dayfour, is going to go so much
harder and I definitely thinklike pumping up, like ovulation
time is a great way to do like alot of intense strength
training.
You know luteal cycle leadingup to the period another great
time to really like hit that.
Those like harder workouts, um,because you have that energy.

(01:07:59):
Anything that's like lots oflike backbends and opening is
like not good for on your period, but when you're off of your
period or leading up to theperiod, it's like open it up all
the way, get as much space inthat back and pelvic floor as
you can, without going too far,of course, like don't injure
yourself, please, but yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:08:24):
I love that Cause I I'm somebody who, like I hate a
routine because I'm a Gemini,but like love a routine and need
a routine.
Um, but I, coming back toteaching yoga and teaching like
lots of yoga.
Now I'm teaching about 10classes a week.
It's really hard for me to kindof like balance that energy

(01:08:44):
because my, my job is sophysical and I keep saying to my
best friend Nikki, like I wishthat I could just take my whole
period week off, like fromteaching classes, like that
would be my ideal world.

Speaker 2 (01:09:02):
If you ever get the ability to do it like I would
say, do it, because when I firststarted with conscious
menstruation, I would not doanything, any type of movement,
for like three, four days, andthat was the level of rest that
I needed for, honestly, likefour years Like I did nothing,
for like a hand.
I was like day four or five Ifinally wanted to move again.

Speaker 1 (01:09:24):
And I think that's important to remember too.
It's like your cycle changesand what you need during your
cycle changes and be willing to,like you said, play and to
figure it out.
And right now, like I, myenergy is definitely shifting.
Like I don't know if I'm goinginto more of like a winter phase
or if this is just likenurturing time for me, but like
as soon as my loony, like assoon as I'm coming down off

(01:09:47):
ovulation and going into lutealphase, my energy is like tanking
.

Speaker 2 (01:09:53):
Yeah, I mean, I completely feel that that is my
like.
When your energy starts to tank, it's so.
It's so important to likereally honor that and honor
where your body's at, becausewhen we start to like force
ourselves to try and do thething, just to do the thing,

(01:10:15):
we're not, we're back in thatspace of tolerance really, yeah,
putting my body through thisand like we go through seasons
and cycles and changes and forme, like the more that I've
worked with consciousmenstruation and cyclical
alchemy, which was my very firstred tent, and I have that

(01:10:35):
available as a recording Soon mywebsite will be changed and
things will be much morestreamlined and easy to access.
Easy to access but, um, thatlike that foundational knowledge
and learning how to like livemy life around it.
It's like the more that I dothat, the more easy it is for me
to sink into being able to getmore done, because I'm I

(01:11:01):
listened to my body first and Ireally follow, like the body
leads, the mind follows, andgiving myself that rest like the
number of times that I willcancel plans just because I'm
like like even a few months ago,like I booked a workshop, my
period came a day or two daysearlier than I thought it would.

(01:11:21):
It was a rage workshop which Ithought would be great for
luteal somatic rage releaseworkshop.
And it ended up coming that dayand I was like I don't feel
rageful, like I don't want to go, like scream and hit things,
like I want to lay on my couch,and so I just didn't go.
I like gave my ticket away tosomeone.
Like here's a $60 ticket to anevent, go have fun.

(01:11:43):
And it's like two years ago,maybe three years ago, probably
three or four years ago, Iprobably would have been like oh
well, I spent money on it, Ishould just go.
It's a spiritual event.
I'm probably meant to just leaninto the edge and find out, and
there's a time when we are meantto lean into the edge, but

(01:12:03):
there's also plenty of timeswhen we are forcing our body
into doing something we don'twant to do, and so that's when
we start to question is thiswillingness or am I tolerating
it?
And that's a really powerfulway to start asking the body.
And, yeah, letting yourselflike, let people down, because

(01:12:26):
ultimately, like, triggers arethe medicine and we are meant to
let ourselves be triggered andwe're meant to trigger others,
like people automatically gettriggered, especially if they
live in a program whereprioritizing their embodiment
doesn't matter.
And you do that and they willget triggered and try and ask

(01:12:46):
you to bend and to shift and tocompromise in order to make
themselves feel better about theway that they live in tolerance
.
But really what you're doing islike you're waking them up to
what is possible.

Speaker 1 (01:13:03):
I think that is the perfect place to leave it.
You have left me with a lot tothink about.
There are like thinking about afew specific things and I'm
like, oh wow, I'm liketolerating that and it's why
it's becoming like so exhausting, so like cumbersome to deal
with.

Speaker 2 (01:13:21):
It's like because my body doesn't want to well, I'm
here to tell you like, fuck thatshit, let it go yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:13:31):
Oh, it's just what I needed to hear.
This episode has been medicinefor me.
Thank you so much for beinghere again.
I love everything you're doing.
I'm so interested, I think it'sso amazing and I just want to
celebrate you.
So thank you for being hereagain.

Speaker 2 (01:13:50):
Oh, thank you for having me.
I love this podcast so much andI love spending time with you
and hanging out with you.
And I feel like every time wetalk, whether it's on or off the
podcast, it's just the absolutebest.

Speaker 1 (01:14:00):
So I love you so much .
Love you so much.
If someone is interested inworking with you, where can they
find you?

Speaker 2 (01:14:07):
They can find me on the show notes too.
Yeah, they can find me on myInstagram at Marissa Lynn
healing, or on my website, and Iam currently going under a big
rebrand, so stay tuned for someextra yummy, easy access places.
I do offer my women's Facebookgroup with the monthly red tent

(01:14:28):
and, beginning in December 1st,we're doing a free daily womb
meditation, so I invite you tohop on every morning the whole
month.
We're going to be starting onthe new moon in December and
going until the end of the yearwith a daily womb meditation to
really start opening up thistype of embodiment for people.

Speaker 1 (01:14:51):
So I'm very excited about that because I am in the
red tent, so I'm very excited.
Thank you so much for beinghere again.
I hope to talk to you very soonfor everyone listening.
Thank you so much for listening, for supporting this podcast.
If you haven't yet, pleasereview, like, subscribe, share.
It makes a huge difference.

(01:15:12):
If you know somebody who couldbenefit from this podcast,
please share with them.
Thank you so much and we'lltalk to you next time.