June 5, 2025 • 60 mins
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What happens when the birthday girl doesn't want to celebrate? In this raw, unfiltered conversation, Giana confesses her unexpected anxiety about turning 34, while birthday enthusiast Kat Parks tries to reignite her excitement. Together, they peel back the layers of what makes birthdays both magical and terrifying as we age.
The discussion ventures into unexpectedly deep territory as both women reflect on how COVID disrupted our celebration of major life milestones. "I didn't even have time to process turning 30 because the world was on fire," Giana admits, capturing the disorientation many felt during those years. This leads to a broader exploration of how millennials are rewriting the rulebook on traditional life markers like marriage, careers, and family planning.
Birthday horror stories bring both laughter and winces – from Kat's traumatic seventh birthday (complete with knocked-out teeth and only one friend showing up) to Gianna's bedbug-infested 30th that left her sobbing in Target aisles. These experiences reveal how birthdays often carry outsized expectations and the potential for both profound disappointment and unexpected joy.
The conversation takes a powerful turn when addressing beauty standards and authenticity. Both women candidly critique the prevalence of filters, especially among wellness influencers preaching self-acceptance while presenting digitally altered versions of themselves. "If you're telling people to love themselves while using filters – what exactly is your message?" Giana challenges. They discuss finding aging role models like Cameron Diaz and the revolutionary act of simply looking your age in today's world.
Whether you're dreading your next birthday or wondering why turning another year older feels so complicated, this episode offers solace, humor, and a powerful reminder that accepting ourselves exactly as we are might be the greatest gift we can give ourselves. Check out Kat's "Find Your Face Freedom" program if you're ready to see yourself in a new way by summer's end.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the Nearly Enlightened Podcast, a high
vibe toolbox designed to helpyou connect to your body, mind
and spirit.
I'm your host, gianna Giruso,and I'm here to share tools,
conversations and insights tohelp you on your journey of
self-discovery.
This podcast is all aboutexploring what it means to live
a conscious, connected andnearly enlightened life, because
the truth is, the answersaren't outside of us, they're
(00:24):
already within.
Let's dive in Today.
I'm joined by my friend, katParks.
Welcome back.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Kat.
Hi, I'm so excited to be hereand I always love hearing you
intro the podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Oh my gosh, I love that you said that, because I
was thinking about pre recordingit just so that it can be like
plugged in and easy.
But I'm glad you enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I kind of like it.
It sets it up for the guest I'mlike, ooh, welcome to the
nearly enlightened podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I'm here and I'm ready and it's very, it's in
very Gemini season.
Uh, fashion to like be chattyand out and social.
It's like the end of spring,the beginning of summer in this
hemisphere.
So, like it, like you just feelthat electric buzz.
But it's funny because I wastalking to you and like I don't
feel it for the first time in mylife.
(01:13):
Usually this is my birthdayseason, so usually I'm like,
jazzed up, ready to go, and thisyear I'm like it ain't it,
let's skip it, let's go right tocancer season.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I'm so excited to talk about this because when you
texted me and you were like,hey, we got to get you on the
podcast because I'm not excitedabout my birthday, for the first
time ever I was like, oh my God, let's get on and talk about
birthdays, because this is oneof my very favorite topics.
But my first thing, I'm goingto interview you now.
Why are you not excited aboutyour birthday?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I don't know.
34 feels like such a weirdnumber and it's just different
and like your 20s go by so fast.
And I feel like the beginningof my 30s was at such a weird
time because we were in likeCOVID times, so like I didn't
(02:07):
even have time to process thatI'm turning 30.
Because it's like, oh, theworld is on fire and in crisis
and is like just like thegreatest dumpster fire, so like
who the fuck cares what age youare?
And now, interesting, I'msliding towards those mid-30s
and I'm like, holy shit, likeyou look back and you're like I
don't know it, it's just like aweird.
It's a weird feeling this year.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Yeah, 34 is is a little weird, cause it's like
you're, you know, 30 isgenerally exciting, 35, maybe,
is exciting in a different way34.
It's like, well, you're notquite there to the mid thirties,
or maybe this is like just thebeginning of the mid thirties,
but I agree with you thatthere's something weird about it
.
I appreciate that you broughtup this concept of turning 30 in
(02:52):
the COVID years, because Iremember, during the COVID years
, thinking about you know, oh,the kids who can't go to school,
oh, my gosh, the poor kids whowere going to be graduating this
year, like I have a friend whowas a 2020 graduate, and like
they didn't get prom and theydidn't get to walk at graduation
, and like I was like I wasthinking about you.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Those are like huge life milestones.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yes, and so is turning 30.
And like so is.
I mean so many people had tosay put off their weddings.
I know so many people who wereabout to have COVID weddings or
maybe even did have COVIDweddings.
But it's such an interestingthing because that one little
blip in our human history, ourworld history, really changed a
lot of people.
(03:36):
And you know for me what?
2020, I was 32.
So it's like I had already donethis 30s thing for a little bit
and it was just like, oh,another, another year, another
moment, you know, and, of course, living out here in the wild,
wild west't know just likedifferent self and like even
looking back, like I was.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
I was like kind of being nostalgic this week and
looking back on old Instagramphotos and I was just like, oh
my God, I feel like I don't evenknow that girl Like who is
interesting.
So like your early 30s.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Gianna is different than you now Interesting.
So, like your early 30s, giannais different than you now.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I like 28 to 32.
Like, I feel like that was likean actual other lifetime ago
Interesting.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Okay, so maybe there's some like reinvention
happening right now.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
That's like who the fuck am I at 34?
Maybe I don't know it's.
I feel very solid and like whatI'm doing and the direction
that I'm going and I know, likeyou know, and maybe some of our
listeners do too but I'm justcoming off of the 30 day
challenge deepen your practicechallenge and that was like a
huge shift for me.
And, dean, I kept saying likethis challenge is actually for
(05:02):
us to dive deeper into thesetopics and like to just to kind
of refresh and and and just likeremind yourself of why you do
these practices.
Like they kind of become secondnature and become just like you
know.
Another thing you do, like brushyour teeth, and like you don't
know.
Like you know why you do it,but you don't think about it
(05:24):
right, like it just becomes soenmeshed in your life.
And so it was.
It was kind of great to zoomout and take a look at these and
be like, oh okay, like now thatI can zoom out a little like,
am I in alignment with thesetools?
Am I showing up like this?
Am I leading my classes in thisway?
So it was.
It was very I feel like I'm inlike a reflective period of my
(05:47):
life.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I love that so much.
And first of all, your 30 daychallenge was incredible.
I opened up all the emails, butI did not participate on the
gram.
It felt like too much for me todo.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
It was a lot but honestly, like was eyeopening
for us.
So now we're going to open thechallenge just as like, like a
like a self-guided journey.
So it was.
It was good information.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I love that.
Well, it was so beautiful andyou guys had so much amazing
information and, truly, you know, we, we forget about all of
these little parts of life.
You know, it's like we mightsay, oh, I want to be a better
person, but it's like, what doesthat mean?
You know I was talking to, Ihad a private client this
morning and I was, you know,sharing with him that I, you
know, I see you, that for thelast few years we've been doing
(06:37):
yoga two to three times a weekand that was totally new for him
.
He'd never done yoga before andhe's been super consistent.
But now we're talking aboutlike, okay, it would probably be
good for you to like work out,you know, have like a personal
trainer, do a little bit more oflike fitness type things.
But that can feel like achallenge sometimes when it's
(06:57):
this one more thing that we haveto do.
This is one hour that you couldhave been doing something else,
and I think that that's areason why a lot of people don't
meditate is because they'relike, oh, it's so boring, I
could be doing something else.
But that's another reason whypeople don't do yoga, why people
don't work out, why peopledon't meal prep.
It's time that we could bedoing other, more fun things,
(07:19):
and you know, we have to startto prioritize the things that
are really meaningful to us.
I think, especially as we'rekind of in this like mid-30s era
, it's sort of like you'recresting up to the top and it's
like where can we be better?
Because I think that as you'rea teen and in your 20s you're
(07:41):
just trying to figure your shitout, and then 30s, it kind of
feels like now we're refining.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yeah, oh, that's the perfect word yes, and I feel
like I'm in like this refinementtransition period of like I've
committed to showing up anddoing this work and teaching
others how to do this work.
So like, how do we take it onestep further now, this work?
(08:08):
So, like, how do we take it onestep further now?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
yeah, how do we, how do we expand the ripple?
That's magical, so it.
It feels like you already havesome sort of direction, but then
maybe just some fear around.
You know what?
What does this mean?
To turn 34 or you know?
I don't know what else is therearound it for you?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
And like I think there's a lot of societal things
Like we always see the clips onTikTok and whatever of the
actresses being like oh, I wasscared to turn 34 because your
career is over, your life isover, hollywood wants nothing to
do with you anymore, and it'slike we've set these societal
standards up.
Of like I think you've touchedon it a little bit too about
(08:50):
just like being like obsessedwith youth and it's it's like
distorting our perception onthings and we've talked about it
even on this podcast before oflike the whole like filter craze
.
I feel like it's the same thing.
It's like we're obsessed withyouth and like looking just like
a certain way.
So now that you're likecreeping up toward that age
where people are like oh, you'reold and ugly.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Oh my God, I want to drop in real quick to note that.
So my husband and I are childfree, child free by choice.
I made that choice really formyself, without my husband's
input, because I didn't know himyet.
I made that choice when I was22.
And for the entirety of my 20sand early 30s, anyone who would
(09:37):
ask me about it would say like,oh well, you can still change
your mind.
Oh, you're still young enough,you can still have kids.
And no one said that to me forthe last like year or two.
You've reached that age.
You're ever old.
Yes, it's this implicit like oh, ok, you can't really change
your mind.
You're, you're kind of old lady.
But I kind of revel in thatbecause it's that was really
(10:01):
annoying to have people alwayslike pushing back on my life
choices.
Because it's that was reallyannoying to have people always
like pushing back on my lifechoices.
But that's just been aninteresting thing, that it's
like, you know, if people arelike oh, you're 37.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Yeah, yeah, you probably should have done that
already.
Yeah, it's just like all theseweird societal things and
pressures that we put on people,and I think it's the same thing
.
Like I'm not married, I don'thave kids.
So it's the same thing.
Like I'm not married, I don'thave kids.
So it's like, oh well, youbetter hurry up.
Or like the new one is free,you should freeze your eggs.
Like oh god, oh god is right.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Like what the fuck?
I think that that's anotherinteresting part of our
particular modern life and likemaybe I'll address it as
millennials, because I thinkthat we especially long of my
(10:53):
other.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
So we had a few technical difficulties.
I don't know what this audio isgoing to be like.
All these, I don't know whatthis audio is going to be like.
Um, but, kat, do you want tojust kind of recap what?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
you just said, just in case it cut out yeah girl,
we'll, and we'll find out.
This is a part of the nearlyenlightened podcast.
Is that we don't have it allfigured out, right, yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I know and you know what, like I don't edit, like
you get, I'm not editing thingsout and like making things fit a
narrative like what you see iswhat you get.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I love it.
Well, what I had said before,when, when I saw you freeze, was
that I think that there'ssomething different about, uh,
our modern life, or, uh,millennials maybe, particularly
that we are waiting to getmarried till later, waiting to
have kids till later, starting acareer earlier, and so there's
a lot more older parents too.
Like growing up, my mom was 37when she had me and she was old,
(12:31):
older than all of my friends'parents.
But these days, I know a lot ofpeople who are normal.
You know 37 year old parentsfor the first time, or you know
I know a lot of people in theirforties who have had kids Um, um
, and it's less of a thing thesedays yeah, it's so true.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
My aunt actually had my cousin at 49 49 wow yeah.
So I know that, like there's no, like fuck your societal norms,
but it is like there, it's partof like the healing journey,
right.
So like you're going throughthis and like, or I'm going
through this and I'm just likeobserving now, like OK, this is
what's coming up for me, andlike we're gonna, we're gonna,
(13:12):
we're gonna feel, we're gonnafeel the feels about it in all
of that and acknowledge that.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
you know, this is a little scary and I think that
that's something that a lot ofus feel.
But we don't really acknowledgethat fear of aging.
And you know, I'll be on hereas someone who's older than you
to acknowledge it.
For myself, I mean, I keepforgetting that I'm 37.
I actually have almost toldpeople that I'm 36 a couple of
times this year.
Inside my head I feel like I'm24.
(13:48):
You know, if I, if I had tolike just grab an age, I'd
probably pick like 32.
But all of that's to say Idon't feel 37.
I totally am maybe freaking outabout turning 38 at the end of
this year, but I've got six anda half months to go.
We'll talk about this at theend of September, we'll talk
(14:08):
about this later.
But that means that like holyfuck, the big.
The big one is right around thecorner for me.
And I say the big one because40 feels like the biggest one,
doesn't it.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I remember when my mom turned 40, like not so much
my dad, because he was born onthe 4th of July and like every
year is a big year for him andso this year he's turning 70 and
it's funny because we're we'reboth kind of going through a
similar thing.
And the other night he said tome he was like how do you, do
you feel old, that you're gonnahave a 70 year old dad?
I was like no, I feel oldbecause I'm gonna be 30 fucking
(14:45):
far in 12 days.
What do you mean?
oh, my gosh, that's, but Iremember my mom turning 40 and
my dad had like a big surpriseparty for her and it was like a
big thing and like I was young,I was like maybe in I don't know
middle school okay well, Ican't even remember.
I didn't even have a dawn ofconscious memory when my mom
turned my mom had me at 27 wowoh my gosh, yeah, so we had
(15:10):
really different experiences ofour moms growing up yeah, my dad
was a little bit older, becausehe's eight years older than my
mom, but yeah, so I like vividlyremember her turning 40.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Fascinating.
Yeah, yeah, it feels like a,like a big transition.
It kind of feels almost likethat's proper adulthood and
proper adulthood.
I love that.
It feels really scary.
I feel grateful that my brotheris older than me, so he
actually just turned 40.
Oh, so he has to experience itfirst.
Tell me about it later, yes,exactly.
(15:45):
And then, even better than thatis, my husband is two months
older than me, so he's stillgoing to turn 40 before I do, so
that that again will be anotherstory for two and a half years
from now.
But I get that feeling of youknow there's there's fear about
it and there's fear about agingand about what does that mean
(16:05):
for me and about you.
Know our purpose and have wedone all the things that we've
wanted to do?
I had a list that I made when Iwas, I think, 22,.
That was all the things Iwanted to do before I turned 30.
And I found that list when Iwas 29.
And I was like, oh fuck, Ihaven't done those things and
(16:28):
some of them were reallynebulous, things like be in the
best shape of my life, whichit's like.
How do you quantify that?
And also, I wasn't, you know, Ithink I probably am at that now
, at 37, but I wasn't at 29.
And then some of them were, youknow, things like meet my
(16:48):
partner or go to Spain, likethings like that.
Um, but it it was a lot ofpressure, even from.
It was from myself.
My past self was pressuring meto have done these things by
this time, and I think that alot of us do that, and it's
whether it's like societalpressure, being like you have to
(17:10):
be married by the time you're35, or it's internal pressure,
like I have to go freeze my eggs.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, so that's where we're at right now.
So I'm finishing up thischallenge and I'm silently
freaking out about my birthday.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Well, how about do you have plans for your birthday
?
Like anything fun to do?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
It's a Saturday for your birthday, like anything fun
to do, it's a Saturday, so I'msure, I'm sure something fun
will be bound, as long as theNew England weather allows for
that to happen, because it canbe quite unpredictable this time
of year.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Yeah, they call it January in Washington state.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Oh, that's very funny .
Yeah, we can experience likeall of the seasons in one day in
June, so that's fun.
And right now we're actually Idon't know apparently there's
some fires in Canada and we'rejust like living in the smog of
that.
So, oh, gosh.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Well, maybe coming up with something that could be
like fun and exciting.
I I want to share about mybirthday experience, because I'm
excited to talk about birthdays.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Yes, that's why I wanted to have you on, because I
usually am a person I lovebirthdays and I love other
people's birthdays Like.
I will treat other people'sbirthdays like I would treat my
own.
I will cancel my plans.
I will throw you a birthdayparty.
I will take you out on the bestday of your life.
Like, birthdays are a big dealfor me, so I knew that.
(18:39):
I know that you're like verysimilar in that, so I I love
that we're having thisconversation.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Me too, and I hope to , I hope to hype you up a little
bit.
We'll see, um, I, I'm obsessedwith birthdays and I think that
that all comes down to myoriginal birthday, which is the
day after Christmas, whichfucking sucks.
Besides being born like onChristmas, I'm pretty sure it's
(19:06):
the second worst Feels, sort oflike you don't have your own
time or space.
You know people forget about it.
Try to combine it.
It just kind of is one of thosethings that like flies under
the radar.
You know, sometimes throughoutthe year I will see, say, like
on Instagram or Facebook.
Sometimes people will like postthings about their friends oh,
(19:27):
happy birthday to my friend.
No one has ever done that forme, ever.
Because it's the day afterfucking Christmas.
No one is paying attention,everyone's off their phone.
Also, maybe I'm just not thatkind of person who makes those
kinds of friends.
I feel like I have to be thathype woman for myself, because
(19:50):
people aren't going to remember,people aren't going to reach
out, everyone is busy and it'smidwinter, which also sucks.
So I feel like every year I havea list that I start making in
like November of what are thethings that I want to do on my
birthday, and so I write out,you know, things I like to do or
things that I might want to doand try to make it this really
(20:13):
special thing to do, or thingsthat I might want to do and try
to like make it this reallyspecial thing.
But coming back to that idea oflike the pressure that we put on
ourselves my husband over thelast couple years has
acknowledged this in me that Ikind of go maybe off the deep
end with my birthday, that it'salmost like I'm trying to make
it be so special that I put alot of pressure on it and then
(20:37):
it either doesn't end up beingthat special or I put so much
pressure on myself that I havemore anxiety about it than it is
fun.
Like a some idea of like somethings that might be like what
(20:59):
lights you up the most and havethat be a way to like celebrate
yourself rather than like here'swhat I'm gonna do for fun today
, but like how can you be likefuck, yeah, I'm so glad I was
born, I'm so glad I'm Gianna yes, I should think about this a
little bit.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Yeah, I'm not'm not sure yet I'm like that I feel
very like counterintuitive tosummer energy Like, while I feel
like everything's like more outand social like, I'm just like
not feeling that in my currentand I don't know if that's
because I've been so outward onsocial media and the podcast
(21:33):
that it's just and and teachingclasses it's just like.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Okay, that's enough socialing for me for for right
now yeah, well, and as aprojector, that's a lot of
socialing.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Yes, yeah, I know it's funny because d came back
to me and she's like okay,you're gonna rest this week
because she's a manifestinggenerator.
And I was like, no, no, no, wecan keep going.
And she's like, no, no, she'slike we're going to announce the
winner and we're done for theweek.
I was like, okay, okay, you seeme, I love that.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
You got to have someone who takes care of your
poor little projector heart.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Yes, especially because it's hard to ask for
help and if you're, you knowyou're.
You own a small business too.
So it's like, oh no, I can dothat.
Oh, no, I can do that.
Oh, I'm gonna do that better.
Oh, but I'm not gonna like theway that somebody else does that
.
I'm not gonna ask for help.
But I'm learning to like leanon other people and ask for help
because I didn't want nearlyenlightened to be just about me.
(22:30):
So that has also been veryfreeing as well, to have
somebody to like shareresponsibilities with, where
it's like, oh, this isn't justmy load.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yes, I love that so much and maybe that's part of
part of what you know.
This this upcoming Saturday ina couple weeks will be for you
is like honoring that part ofyou, the fact that you have been
making all of these connections, doing all of these things,
moving this message forward inall of these amazing creative
(23:04):
ways and sinking into that,really feeling into that.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Yes, it's taking time to like do the things that I
like to fill my cup up, becauseI feel like these tools that I
have gathered the breath work,the meditation, the yoga they've
become less of the tools thatfill me up and more like the
brushing of the teeth, so nowit's like you need new things to
(23:31):
kind of be that.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Yes, I like that.
So maybe it's this like slow,cozy self-care I'm not going to
talk to anyone today, and it canbe that too and I think that
that's something that we thinkabout.
Birthdays is like oh, we got togo out and go hard and get
dressed up and go to the bar andsee our friends and do all this
(23:57):
stuff, and it's like but maybeyou just want to like give
yourself a pedicure and do a mudmask and watch a movie in bed.
I don't know yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Saturdays in the summer for my family and our
family friends, we go to BlockIsland and we just do like the
beach day, which could very wellbe a possibility, and I would
love that.
But I'm also like, I'm open.
I love that.
I'm open to direction.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yes, Well, and I I am sure that it won't be as bad as
my worst birthday, which I'mgoing to share on your podcast.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yes, so I already shared that my birthday is the
day after Christmas, which sucks.
When I turned seven, I wasrunning around the house with my
brother and my dad.
My brother was chasing my dadand I was chasing my brother.
My brother did not know that Iwas chasing my brother.
My brother did not know that Iwas chasing him and he slammed
(24:58):
the door behind him and it wentright into my face and I like I
wouldn't say that it broke mynose, but my nose was definitely
messed up my two front teethcame out and they were not ready
to come out, so one of them washanging, but I was, you know,
literally just seven.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
So that is so traumatizing.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I had only lost like two teeth before, so I didn't
want my mom to pull it out andso I had to just like suffer
with this tooth.
That was like just hanging outof my mouth, and then the other
one fell completely out.
That was like just hanging outof my mouth and then the other
one fell completely out.
And then, let's see, no onecame to my party.
(25:44):
Oh, seven years old People hadRSVP and they just didn't
fucking show up.
Some people didn't RSVP anddidn't show up.
One person came my best friendTaji.
She's still my best friend tothis day and so my brother
locked himself in his roombecause he felt so bad.
Taji was my best friend Taji,she's still my best friend to
this day and so my brotherlocked himself in his room
because he felt so bad.
Taji was my only friend at myparty.
I couldn't eat cake and icecream.
One tooth is freaking hangingout of my mouth.
Worst birthday ever.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Oh, that is so sad.
I want to hug little seven yearold cat.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Oh my god, me too, and, and, and poor 10 year old
Matt, because I feel really badfor him because it was.
It was not intentional that hehurt me, but I think that that
that hurt him for a number ofyears and I feel so bad about it
.
But it's like, it's one ofthose things.
You know, like each of ourfamilies has some kind of like
crazy story, and that that's oneof ours that is so funny.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
It that was like just like a normal saturday at our
house, like somebody was alwaysgetting a tooth knocked out,
somebody was getting stitches,like it was.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
It was a wwe back down at all times oh my gosh, we
had very different growing upsbecause I that was, we didn't
have a lot of injury.
Um, I think that my brothermessed with me more
psychologically than thanphysically, or the physical part
was just the fact that he hasalways been bigger than people
his size or his age and I'vealways been smaller than people
(27:13):
my age, or as a kid I was and soI was like really like tiny and
sensitive, and he was like bigand strong, and so he'd just
mess around with me and I'd gethurt, but like not intense yeah,
yeah, it was never intentionalon our part either.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
We were just like roughhousing, doing something we
shouldn't have been doing, likebuilding ramps to jump off of
with our bikes or our school.
It's like yeah, yeah, okay.
I mean my brother has come intothe house with like a stick
coming out of his eye and my mombeing like, okay, just just get
(27:47):
in the car, like the urgentcare near our house, like
everyone knew us, because likeit was just, it was always
something crazy.
We grew up on a street, on adead end street in the woods,
with like a bunch of kids thatwere our age, so it was just
Always chaotic.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
That sounds like so much fun though.
It honestly was like unlessyou're the one getting hurt
unless you're the one gettinghurt, unless you're the one
getting hurt, but like sometimesit was just like you know,
you're just riding your bikehard.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
We were like riding our bikes up rocks and like the
next thing I knew, my kickstandwas like through my leg, like it
.
Just things like that happened.
Oh my god, I know.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I don't want to have kids.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
you know what's great like.
My mom is a panicker, but shewas always so calm in those
situations like she never thepanic never showed.
And like nine times out of tenmy dad is like Italian from
Italy lived in a village likethere were no doctors, so even
some of the worst injuries thatlike definitely needed stitches
(28:54):
were just like butterfliedtogether Like it'll be fine.
Oh my gosh, wipe it down witholive oil, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Put some dirt in it, walk it off.
I love that that's so funny.
Walk it off, oh my gosh, I lovethat that's so funny.
Yeah, well, me, for for myhouse.
Um, you know, having a toothknocked out definitely was not
something that happened all thetime, and especially not on
one's birthday.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
That was uh that was bad news.
That's something you neverforget, that stays with you for
life.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
And I think that that's that probably is why I
put a lot of pressure on myselffor my birthday.
After that year my mom starteddoing for me half year parties,
so I was actually more fun thanhaving people come over the day
(29:56):
after Christmas.
But yeah, I feel like that kindof made it feel like I had to
make it special.
You know the fact that thetiming I feel like I have to
make it special.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
One of the reasons why I love the timing of my
birthday is because it is thehalfway mark.
Yeah, so you get presentshalfway through the year, and
that was always very special tome, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
I've always been very jealous because I have to like
think about what do I want onlythis one time and like yes, I
say that my love language is allof them, like it's all of them.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
I want gifts, I want acts of service, I want words
about, I want all of it.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
I want you to tell me I'm pretty and give me
something pretty and dosomething nice for me but that's
also like how I give love aswell.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Like it's not, but yeah, that's so.
Like birthdays are like likebeing the halfway point.
I always loved that.
That was always very for me,yes and I.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
I feel like you and I are also both really similar.
Even when we would hang outwhen we lived in the same place,
we'd call it our goddess days.
Goddess days, yes, and I feellike you and I are both like
that where it's like we want tohave our birthday, be like that,
all about us.
And so I get like superobnoxious.
Ryan a couple years ago, boughtme a sash that says it's my
(31:23):
birthday and I wore it this lastyear and then anytime someone
would look at it and say what'sthat?
Say I'd open my arms up and go,it's my birthday.
That say I'd open my arms upand go it's my birthday, just
because I'm like let me tell asmany people as possible that
it's my birthday because it'sall about me today.
But that feels like alsosometimes a really fun energy to
get into, as like what is goingto make me the happiest today.
(31:48):
You know what's going to lightme up, what's going to let me be
my most goddess self.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Yes, and then we should just trickle that into
every single day.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Yes, I feel like I do that now on for my 30th
birthday.
I was actually still living ina small town in Washington State
, which is a terrible place tohave your birthday because it's
fucking cold and there's nothingto do, and we're two people who
hate the cold cold and there'snothing to do, and we're two
people who hate the cold.
Yes, so I was like I want to goback to Orange County for my
(32:23):
birthday, because I went toschool in Orange County.
That's one of my favoriteplaces and at that time I still
had some friends there.
So I set up a whole Christmastrip for me and my husband and I
wanted to do all the thingsthat made me the happiest.
And some of that was likegetting Chick-fil-A, because,
like, we lived in a small townand that was the only time that
I could get Chick-fil-A, so itwas like let me eat Chick-fil-A
(32:43):
and I want to go to the park andswing on the swings and I had a
friend who lived in town and Iwanted to see him and spend time
and it, it, I got a tattoo thatday.
So it was like all of thesethings that were like really
special to me, even if it wasn'tspecial to anyone else.
You know, ryan is not going toeat Chick-fil-A.
That's my husband.
You know, like, some of thethings that we did were like
(33:05):
just very for me, and I thinkthat that that's a birthday that
stands out to me as somethingthat was like really special,
because it was all day wasexactly what I wanted to do and
it felt like, you know, 30 isreally special and, yeah, making
it something that you canremember 30 is really special.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
So you want to hear one of my worst birthdays ever,
which just so happy 30.
You know it wasn't like theworst worst, but it wasn't
really the best either.
It was mid-covid times.
You didn't know it yet, but theapartment that we had just
gotten to had fucking bedbugs.
Oh my god, that that year, thatyear, the bedbug year 30 came
(33:46):
in with you, texted me 30 camein with the motherfucking bang.
Like, let me tell you, I, you,I'm pretty sure, yeah, that was
30.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
I remember getting those texts from you and it was
like in all caps I have fuckingbad bugs.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
No, like now it's a funny story.
Like now it's a funny story,but like in the moment, I
actually was the most not okaythat I've ever been in my life.
Yeah, I can imagine, because ifyou know me, like if you've
ever come to like my apartmentor any place that I've ever
lived I am a very clean personyou could eat off of my counters
or my floors at any givenmoment.
I felt so dirty, I felt so notokay and it was so out of my
(34:33):
control and there's nothing youcan do.
There's nowhere you can go,there's no escaping it.
It is the most like you want todo shadow work, get bed bugs.
I would just be like in themiddle of target and then all of
a sudden like forget for likefive seconds and then when you
remember again, it's the worstthing that ever happened to you.
(34:54):
I would be like bawling my eyesout in the middle of target,
like, like, like, couldn'tbreathe, like couldn't breathe.
It was the worst and literallyeverything kept going wrong.
So, like everything we so likethe only thing you need when you
have bed bugs.
It's like a washer and a dryer.
And we had just moved into thisapartment.
(35:15):
It was brand new.
No one had ever lived therebefore.
It just so happened that thefurniture that came to the
apartment was the warehouse hadbed bugs.
So the fucking furniture hadbed bugs and they there was like
a nest in the couch and wedidn't know it because it just
looks like a brand new fuckingcouch.
That's so gross.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
No, literally like when I tell you the amount of
tears I cried I like I mightstart crying tears for you right
now, and it's like that was somany years ago and it makes me
so sad.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
It's funny because, like I, right after this had
happened, I met my friend, jessat a meditation event in Arizona
, when I was still living inArizona, and I was telling her
the story and we were actuallylaughing hysterically about it
because I was like, if I don'tlaugh about it, I'm going to
crack the fuck up like it was.
Yeah, because you have to throwyour stuff away like it it's
(36:13):
and it's not just it like a hugemisconception, as it's just in
the beds.
Like no, it's not, they'reeverywhere.
They can live behind baseboards, they can live behind behind
light switches, they can live inwood, they can live in plastic,
they can live fuckingeverywhere.
Like the only way to kill themsure fire is not even because
(36:33):
we've used this is anothersoapbox of mine but because
we've used so many pesticidesand and herbicides and these
types of things.
They've become basically likesuper bugs, so they become
immune to the chemicals that weuse on them.
So the company who we hadgotten the furniture from said
okay, we're going to send out anOrkin man.
Like Orkin man's going to dothe thing, whatever.
(36:54):
Whatever Orkin man comes outand says okay, yes, you have bed
bugs.
So actually now you need towait, because now we need to
come back for the chemicaltreatment.
I'm like, why can't you fuckingdo it now?
We're like literally livingwith it.
I have bites all over me fromhead to toe oh my god and they
don't just bite you once, theybite you three times in a line.
It's great, oh my god.
(37:14):
So now I'm like so itchy, it'slike the itchiest mosquito bites
you've ever had in your life.
They're like itchy and theyhurt and there's nowhere to go,
because if you go to a hotel,you're gonna bring them with you
.
If you like god, if you goanywhere, you're bringing them
with you.
So until you address thefucking root cause of the
problem, you are trapped in yourown reality, that is, fucking
(37:37):
bed bugs.
And I'm in the middle of likeaspen, colorado, where, like
commercial things are not abound, like they're not.
It's hard to come by.
Like the closest Walmart is anhour away, the closest target is
45 minutes away.
Like things are far, um.
So they're like, yeah, we cansend somebody out in two weeks.
(38:00):
I'm like, oh, excuse me, what?
So now?
Now we're just like living withit.
They say don't use over-thecounter stuff.
We obviously fucking didbecause, like, what are you
going to do at that point?
Like you can't make it worse atthat point.
Yes, so that was 30.
And yeah, so like 30 was justlike throwing away all of my
(38:24):
shit trying to get rid ofbedbugs, missing my sister's
engagement trying to get rid ofbedbugs.
Missing my sister's engagement,um and just yeah dealing,
dealing with that.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
So that was.
That was my 30.
That sounds like a nightmare.
It kind of was.
Yeah, Maybe you need to redothat, a redo 30.
I agree, yeah.
I agree yeah, because that thatis a nightmare.
And, um, I know that that is anightmare and I know that was
just such a challenging time foryou anyway.
So so many things and blips andannoying bedbug bites.
It's just like one thing afteranother.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
It was literally like a month of living with that.
It was crazy and we didn't knowit at first because, like
you're naive and you don't wantto, your brain does not want to
accept something like that.
Hell, no, it's crazy.
It is crazy I will never.
It's funny because, like now Icould never go to a hotel and
like be the same ever again.
Like I am the crazy personwho's peeling back sheets, like
(39:26):
looking well, now I'm going to,yeah, yeah, it's it ain't for
the faint of heart.
So then they end up sending thisorcan man out.
Orcan man sprays doesn't getrid of them.
So now I am like in researchmode.
I go to my then boyfriend atthe time and I was like, listen,
(39:46):
the only way to get rid of themis heat.
That's the only way we're goingto get rid of them.
So we had to hire a company tocome in and they have these
giant propane tanks and theyheat everything, every surface,
up to 140 degrees and that isthe only surefire way to get rid
(40:09):
of them.
And I told the company I waslike, come, get this fucking
couch, get it out of my house.
I never want to see it again.
Light it on fire like.
I don't give a fuck what you doto it.
Get it out of here.
So if you have bed bugs, theonly way to get rid of them
truly is heat oh my god.
Well, I feel like this is agreat psa and I'm not sponsored
(40:31):
or affiliated by orchid in anyway, shape or form.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Good, because they don't do the heat yes, oh my god
, that that seriously soundshorrible and I I feel like you
need to have a redo.
This last year, for me birthdayfelt like a redo of the year
before, when I was deep in mygrief hole and I think it was
sick.
And that was 36 was, yeah, nota good birthday.
(40:55):
So then, 37, I was like, let'sgo hard.
Like like, got up early, wentto breakfast, open presents,
went walking around the park wewent walking around this little
outdoor mall went to dinner,watched a movie.
It was a whole deal, a wholeday.
Oh, I love that.
Yeah, I am an advocate of theredo.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
Yeah, I think that's what this year needs to be.
I know it's going to be a greatone, but I'm just not looking
forward to it coming up.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
Yeah, I get that, and sometimes it's that we, you
know, we don't know what toexpect.
I want to share another one ofmy birthdays, so I shared that
on my seventh birthday, my bestfriend Taji, was the only one
who showed up.
I shared that we are stillfriends to this day, 30 years
later.
She spent every one of mybirthdays with me my actual on
(41:50):
the day birthday.
The whole time that I lived inMiami, so from age seven to 13,.
She was there on my birthday.
Then we moved to Washingtonstate and when I turned 14, I
was feeling really sad and itwas this like who am I now?
I'm living in this new place.
I don't know really anyone.
(42:10):
I don't know how to spend mybirthday in Washington State.
You know, like everything feltreally new.
But I said, okay, I would liketo go to Seattle and maybe we
can see my aunt and then go seea movie, because we did not have
a movie theater in our smalltown.
So we drive over to Seattle,which is two hours away, and, of
(42:31):
course, being 14, we had justmoved there.
I didn't know anything aboutanything.
You know where we are, wherewe're going.
Well, we end up at the airportand Taji came.
Her and her brother got on aflight on my birthday from Miami
and came to visit us.
That's a special friend.
(42:52):
To fly across the country, ohmy gosh, seriously.
And it was such a wonderfulthing because it was like my
first birthday after moving andit was completely unexpected,
you know, I guess she plannedwith my parents, but it was so
special and then we, you know,did my regular birthday things.
But sometimes you just don'tknow what, what that day will
(43:13):
hold.
Maybe there's something specialand exciting waiting for you
that you're like, oh, I don'tknow what to expect, and then
it's going to be the bestbirthday ever.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
Yes, we'll put that out there.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Yeah, maybe I'll fly across the country.
Just kidding, I won't.
Don't get your hopes up.
I've got bachelorette partiesthat day.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Oh, what a gorgeous day to have a bachelorette party
.
It's going to be hot as fuck inArizona it will be so hot.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
I need to tell the girls we got to be inside
probably.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
It will.
Actually, I'm hoping for abeach day.
Yeah, I'm hoping for a beachday, I'm ready for them day.
Yeah, I'm hoping for a beachday, I'm ready for them.
It's been um, new England, hasbeen New Englanding, and it
hasn't been the greatest ofweather, so we'll see if there
can be some late spring magic.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
I love that like that you're feeling better about,
about the day coming up, ormaybe, oh my gosh, I am
apprehensive.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Always, podcasting is like therapeutic in its own
right and I feel like this is avery raw, real episode, so I
hope everyone enjoys it.
I'm kind of like on the otherend of my Gemini Insert evil
laugh.
So yeah, I'm excited.
(44:29):
I'm glad that you're here withme, because it's always fun to
catch up with you.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
Yeah, same, and it's a topic that is near and dear to
my heart.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Both birthdays and aging, and fear of time moving
on, because that's, as you know,something that I work on.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
It's in your wheelhouse.
I work in your wheelhouse.
It's in my wheelhouse.
Yes, and you you actually havea new group um coming in.
We start well.
We started kind of last week,but this week is our first like
in-person meeting.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Yes, I'm so excited.
So, and find your face freedom.
Gianna is in the second roundand I'm so excited to have her
there.
I've got seven people, so I'mreally excited to shake things
up.
I've got a few people who aredoing it now for the second time
which I think is really coolit's just like let's keep on
with this face freedom thing whoare diving in for the first
(45:26):
time, and that's just reallyexciting for me because I feel
like we as ladies, andespecially we as millennial
ladies I think there's so muchabout what is upcoming for us
that big, scary 40 birthday thatsome of my people have already
hit that.
But it's this new era and we'renew people and we live in this
(45:50):
weird world that tells us, likeyou were saying, that you're
irrelevant after this certainage and that certain age
sometimes is like 19.
Sometimes it's like 34.
And sometimes it doesn't evenmatter, you know, and I think
that there's something about usbeing able to like reclaim the
fact that I'm still relevant orI'm still beautiful, or I'm
(46:13):
still here and crushing it,whatever it is that you are.
I think that it's important forus to really embrace that and
feel powerful in that.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
Yeah, I think it's like pretty much the base of of
your work, your work and I.
I love having this conversationbecause I do think that we're
setting up really ridiculousstandards.
And you know, I I've been verycandid about this, like I used
to love showing up with a filterbecause, yeah, it makes your
skin look smoother and your facelook more symmetrical and it
(46:47):
gives you those lips that youneed to spend hundreds of
dollars on and like all thesethings.
But at the end of the day, likethat's not you, that's not who.
Like if somebody were to runinto you on the street after
seeing you with all thosefilters on, like they wouldn't
there.
It doesn't look like you, it's,oh, it's literally an avatar of
(47:07):
you.
Like it's not you.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
I legitimately don't know what some people look like.
All right it's true.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
And you know, there's this one influencer, name not
be mentioned, and the only timeshe shows up on social media is
with a filter on and I justthink, like it's, it's
fraudulent.
At this point I'm going to sayyes, it's fucking fraudulent.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
You use the word fraudulent.
Yes, I know who you're talkingabout and I will also not use
her name, but there's it's.
It is fraudulent to say, well,this is what a 40 year old
person looks like.
Well, this is what my skinlooks like it's filtered lady.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
Right, and meanwhile you're like selling supplements
and products, and people areexpecting to look like you.
Only, they can't look like youbecause well, I mean they could.
They could just download thefilter that you're using.
Speaker 2 (48:02):
Almost every time that I see someone using a
filter, I click on.
Click on the filter and thensee what it does to my face and
I like freak out a little bitbecause it makes me look like a
psycho.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
Honestly, you should do a reel of all of these
filters that you find frominfluencers and like the with
filter, with no filter, likemake a real, string them
together.
Speaker 2 (48:25):
I need to figure out how to do it.
I'm one of those millennialsthat's not very techie and my
Instagram actually lives on anold iPad, which is also not
great for taking pictures on.
So it might need to be one ofthose things where I like
download it to my phone for liketwo seconds, just make the reel
and then delete it.
But I would love to anddefinitely am going to, I'm
(48:48):
going to get into it because itit's fraudulent.
It's fraudulent it's same withlying about our age.
You know I would be a much moresuccessful face yoga teacher if
I told you that I was 57, butI'm 37 and I'm not going to lie
about that because that'sfraudulent.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
Period, period.
It's just so weird to me, andespecially people in the healing
space, and like this is maybelike I don't know my thing to
work through, but like I get itif the filters are fun or
whatever.
But if you're telling people tolove themselves, to show up as
themselves, to be morethemselves, and you're showing
up with the filter like what isyour message?
Speaker 2 (49:28):
even like yeah, and you're saying love yourself for
who you are, but I'm not goingto love myself for who I am.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
I'm going to love this filter and the way the
filter makes me look.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
I love this filter.
Oh my God.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
I've heard people say that, well, I, but I just like
the way that I look better withit and I'm like, of course, you
do no shit, duh Like.
And that's the thing and we'vetalked about this before on the
on this podcast that, like Iactually just found a picture of
myself the other day from uh,let's see, 2021.
Um, that was what?
How many years ago?
(50:00):
Four years ago, so I was 33 andI found this picture and I was
like, oh my God, like I lookedso pretty and I don't have
crow's feet and like there's nolittle wrinkles under my eyes,
and I was like, I felt likelegitimately sad.
I was like, oh my God, I usedto be so pretty.
And then I went to that pictureand I was like it was edited.
(50:21):
It was edited.
I never looked like that.
And that's the thing is thatwe're not just messing with
other people's perceptions of us.
We're messing with our ownperceptions of us, and that is
arguably the most dangerous.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
I agree, because it's a slippery slope, because then
you know.
Then you're bringing thepicture of yourself with the
filter to the injector andsaying, how do I look like this?
Make me look like this?
And it's a much deeper issue.
So I like yeah, at first Ithought the filters were fun,
and they were fun to look like apuppy dog and like to stick
(50:59):
your tongue out and it like dothe slurp thing.
Like yeah, that's fun.
But now I feel like we'vecrossed the line to like we're
distorting our perception ofourselves and I'm sorry if
you're in the healing space andyou're only showing up with
pictures like take a deep lookat yourself in the actual mirror
and like is that the way thatyou want to show up?
Speaker 2 (51:21):
I love that I might use that just like fucking a
word for a word in a reel,because, like I told you in a DM
on Instagram, I'm absolutelygoing to make a reel about it
again, not not mentioning andspirit state, but you're not by
(51:53):
putting up videos and photos ofyourself and showing up live.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
I use live in air quotes.
If you're showing up live witha filter, like you are not
showing up authentically, you'relike like I go back to again
what is your message If youcan't show up authentically,
you're like what?
Like I go back to again what isyour message If you can't show
up authentically and how youreally look?
If you're not comfortable withhow you really look, then what
are?
What are you doing here?
How are you leading othersRight?
Speaker 2 (52:20):
Exactly.
How are you leading othersExactly?
And that's that's the piece ofit that rubs me the wrong way.
I did write a comment on one ofthose posts that I was like, oh
yeah, like AI is totallymessing with our heads and, you
know, using filters, blah, blah,blah.
When this video was like of herfiltered, I noticed that, like
she did not reply to me, butlike, that's.
(52:43):
The thing is that, like youwere saying, the filters back in
the day, you know, 2016,.
17 on Snapchat, it was like,yeah, the puppy dog one.
Or like, oh, what do I looklike with a little like halo of
flower, crown flowers, you knowsilly stuff?
Yeah, and yeah, it would bestill really distorting your
face and your features, butthese days, the filters still do
(53:05):
that.
But they are.
They're changing their names tobe things like clean, natural,
natural beauty, beige and white,ultra 4k HD, and it's like none
of those things are real.
It's filter, filter, filter,filter, filter.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Yes, it's distorting your face and making yourself an
avatar and like that's whywe're in this dawn of the
internet where, like I think,people are craving more
authenticity.
And so D and I were obviouslylike we posted every single day
for 30 days.
So obviously we were internallyfreaking out and like, yeah, we
(53:46):
had videos where we weresending to each other and being
like please talk me out ofdeleting this because I feel fat
ugly and like all of thesethings.
And we both like a few times weboth had to kind of like talk
ourselves off the ledge, so tospeak, being like no, this is
real, this is like how we look.
This isn't edited, it's notlike facetuned or like whatever.
(54:09):
Like this is how we actuallylook when we practice yoga.
Yeah, you're gonna have fuckingrolls when you bend over,
because that's like you wouldn'thave mobility if you didn't
have that skin.
Speaker 2 (54:19):
And that's what bodies do, and I think that the,
the fact that you posted everyday and that you posted those
things that made youuncomfortable, that's the stuff
that's going to make you lessuncomfortable, and it's like
those are the things that, whenwe can get over our fear of like
, what's someone going to sayabout this or about me, that we
(54:39):
get to that next level of beinglike, oh, actually, that wasn't
that bad, that wasn't that scary, everything's okay.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
I'm still alive, yeah , and not coming from yes, and
not coming from a place of like.
I have this all figured outbecause, trust me, like there
are days when I would rathershow up with filter on and be
less real, because I might betired, I might be in the middle
of my cycle, I might have somedark circles like, whatever it.
(55:07):
But I am actively working onshowing up more without any of
the editing, because I thinkit's important.
I think that you know, as yousaid, we're millennials.
So now I think we're kind oflike setting the stage and we're
stepping up and becoming theleaders.
And I look at my cousin, who's15, and I'm like what message
(55:32):
does this send her?
And I always look at thingsthrough that filter because when
I was her age, I was lookingfor the role models of like okay
, who is setting the goodexample?
And in our generation therereally wasn't, there wasn't a
lot to choose from.
Speaker 2 (55:49):
No, and even still, there's not a lot to choose from
.
Who's your natural aging rolemodel?
Who would you pick.
Speaker 1 (55:55):
That's really hard because, like, who is actually
aging?
Aging, naturally it's very fewand far between, but somebody
who I did actually this is veryfunny because she came across my
awareness today in a post isCameron Diaz?
Speaker 2 (56:10):
yeah, totally, she's a good one.
Speaker 1 (56:12):
She looks great and that's the thing, is that she
just looks her age and she'stalked candidly about like
having the pressures of doingthose things and stopping and
being like no, I'm gonna look myage and like yeah, we have to
really start.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
It's crazy that we have to start applauding that,
but like yeah yeah, well, andthat's the thing is is accepting
ourselves for who and where andwhen we are, and that's the
thing that I talk about with,with find your face.
Freedom is that, yeah, we, wemay all wish that we had a
little bit more of this, alittle bit less of that, that we
(56:45):
could turn the clock back acouple of years, but the reality
is you can't.
And so what are you going to do?
Instead?
You either hate yourself or youcan learn to accept yourself,
and this goes for you know ourage, our natural face, our lives
, who we are as people, and Ithink that you know, as as we
(57:07):
talk about, about you know,turning a new age or having a
new birthday.
I know there's so many peoplewho, like, actively fear that or
push against that, and I thinkthat if we can learn how to
embrace ourselves, that is thebetter yes, and I think that's a
beautiful place to end.
Speaker 1 (57:25):
so you are just starting your second cohort of
find your face freedom, and isit too late to sign up for that,
or can people still sign up forthis round?
Speaker 2 (57:36):
You know, we have our first live call on Friday the
sixth.
So as long as someone is okaywith probably having missed that
first live call, hey, if youare ready to see yourself in a
new way, have a new face and anew relationship with yourself
by the end of summer, hit me up.
Find me onfindyourfacefreedomcom it is not
(57:56):
too late to book a call with me.
Just mash that book a callbutton and we can chat.
We can fold you into the groupand if now is not the right time
I know that summer is very busyfor people there's going to be
another round coming up in theautumn, probably September or so
.
So still head on over tofindyourfacefreedomcom.
Book a call with me.
It's never too late, it's nevertoo early Because we we all are
(58:19):
getting older, Our faces areall changing and I'm here for
you whenever you're ready.
Speaker 1 (58:25):
Yes, I love that.
Well.
Thank you so much for beinghere with me today.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
Yes, thank you for having me.
This was so much fun.
I love to talk about all thiskind of stuff with you.
Speaker 1 (58:35):
I love when you come on the podcast because it just
feels like an extension of ourgoddess days.
Speaker 2 (58:39):
Yes, it really is, Except you're not here on the
couch with me.
Speaker 1 (58:43):
I know, and that is so that is kind of sad was just
telling my boyfriend.
I was like, would you want togo to Arizona soon?
Like, um, I kind of want to seemy friends.
I want to take a yoga class,like I literally just want to
come take a class with Anton andhang out with you.
That sounds amazing and likemaybe go get.
Speaker 2 (59:03):
Thai food at Glybon yes, well, if you want to come
in.
In October we're celebratingour 10-year wedding anniversary,
so um and october is such agorgeous month to be in the
desert, I agree, not too hot,we'll throw that out there, and
then we can celebrate both ofour birthdays I love that I do
(59:23):
have some southwest credits thatare just like I'm just saving
them for a rainy day.
All right, all right.
Well, I hope that you have anamazing birthday.
Truly, I wish that I could justpop out there and come see you
and go to the beach with you andyour family.
Speaker 1 (59:39):
Oh my gosh, I would love nothing more.
That needs to happen soon.
Yes, I agree with that.
Well, thank you for being hereand thank you for being my
friend and I love you so much,right back at you for being here
and thank you for being myfriend and I love you so much.
Speaker 2 (59:50):
Right back at you, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (59:53):
Thank you for tuning into today's episode of the
Nearly Enlightened podcast.
If this conversation resonatedwith you, I would love it.
If you shared, leave a reviewor reach out and let me know
your thoughts.
And if you're looking for moreways to deepen your connection
to body, mind and spirit, checkout Meditate to Elevate my
guided meditation portal, orvisit nearlyenlightenedcom for
more resources.
Until next time, stay curious,stay connected and remember the
(01:00:16):
answers already lie within.
Welcome to the Nearly Enlightened Podcast, a high
vibe toolbox designed to helpyou connect to your body, mind
and spirit.
I'm your host, gianna Giruso,and I'm here to share tools,
conversations and insights tohelp you on your journey of
self-discovery.
This podcast is all aboutexploring what it means to live
a conscious, connected andnearly enlightened life, because
the truth is, the answersaren't outside of us, they're
(00:24):
already within.
Let's dive in Today.
I'm joined by my friend, katParks.
Welcome back.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Kat.
Hi, I'm so excited to be hereand I always love hearing you
intro the podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Oh my gosh, I love that you said that, because I
was thinking about pre recordingit just so that it can be like
plugged in and easy.
But I'm glad you enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I kind of like it.
It sets it up for the guest I'mlike, ooh, welcome to the
nearly enlightened podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I'm here and I'm ready and it's very, it's in
very Gemini season.
Uh, fashion to like be chattyand out and social.
It's like the end of spring,the beginning of summer in this
hemisphere.
So, like it, like you just feelthat electric buzz.
But it's funny because I wastalking to you and like I don't
feel it for the first time in mylife.
(01:13):
Usually this is my birthdayseason, so usually I'm like,
jazzed up, ready to go, and thisyear I'm like it ain't it,
let's skip it, let's go right tocancer season.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I'm so excited to talk about this because when you
texted me and you were like,hey, we got to get you on the
podcast because I'm not excitedabout my birthday, for the first
time ever I was like, oh my God, let's get on and talk about
birthdays, because this is oneof my very favorite topics.
But my first thing, I'm goingto interview you now.
Why are you not excited aboutyour birthday?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I don't know.
34 feels like such a weirdnumber and it's just different
and like your 20s go by so fast.
And I feel like the beginningof my 30s was at such a weird
time because we were in likeCOVID times, so like I didn't
(02:07):
even have time to process thatI'm turning 30.
Because it's like, oh, theworld is on fire and in crisis
and is like just like thegreatest dumpster fire, so like
who the fuck cares what age youare?
And now, interesting, I'msliding towards those mid-30s
and I'm like, holy shit, likeyou look back and you're like I
don't know it, it's just like aweird.
It's a weird feeling this year.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Yeah, 34 is is a little weird, cause it's like
you're, you know, 30 isgenerally exciting, 35, maybe,
is exciting in a different way34.
It's like, well, you're notquite there to the mid thirties,
or maybe this is like just thebeginning of the mid thirties,
but I agree with you thatthere's something weird about it
.
I appreciate that you broughtup this concept of turning 30 in
(02:52):
the COVID years, because Iremember, during the COVID years
, thinking about you know, oh,the kids who can't go to school,
oh, my gosh, the poor kids whowere going to be graduating this
year, like I have a friend whowas a 2020 graduate, and like
they didn't get prom and theydidn't get to walk at graduation
, and like I was like I wasthinking about you.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Those are like huge life milestones.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yes, and so is turning 30.
And like so is.
I mean so many people had tosay put off their weddings.
I know so many people who wereabout to have COVID weddings or
maybe even did have COVIDweddings.
But it's such an interestingthing because that one little
blip in our human history, ourworld history, really changed a
lot of people.
(03:36):
And you know for me what?
2020, I was 32.
So it's like I had already donethis 30s thing for a little bit
and it was just like, oh,another, another year, another
moment, you know, and, of course, living out here in the wild,
wild west't know just likedifferent self and like even
looking back, like I was.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
I was like kind of being nostalgic this week and
looking back on old Instagramphotos and I was just like, oh
my God, I feel like I don't evenknow that girl Like who is
interesting.
So like your early 30s.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Gianna is different than you now Interesting.
So, like your early 30s, giannais different than you now.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I like 28 to 32.
Like, I feel like that was likean actual other lifetime ago
Interesting.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Okay, so maybe there's some like reinvention
happening right now.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
That's like who the fuck am I at 34?
Maybe I don't know it's.
I feel very solid and like whatI'm doing and the direction
that I'm going and I know, likeyou know, and maybe some of our
listeners do too but I'm justcoming off of the 30 day
challenge deepen your practicechallenge and that was like a
huge shift for me.
And, dean, I kept saying likethis challenge is actually for
(05:02):
us to dive deeper into thesetopics and like to just to kind
of refresh and and and just likeremind yourself of why you do
these practices.
Like they kind of become secondnature and become just like you
know.
Another thing you do, like brushyour teeth, and like you don't
know.
Like you know why you do it,but you don't think about it
(05:24):
right, like it just becomes soenmeshed in your life.
And so it was.
It was kind of great to zoomout and take a look at these and
be like, oh okay, like now thatI can zoom out a little like,
am I in alignment with thesetools?
Am I showing up like this?
Am I leading my classes in thisway?
So it was.
It was very I feel like I'm inlike a reflective period of my
(05:47):
life.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I love that so much.
And first of all, your 30 daychallenge was incredible.
I opened up all the emails, butI did not participate on the
gram.
It felt like too much for me todo.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
It was a lot but honestly, like was eyeopening
for us.
So now we're going to open thechallenge just as like, like a
like a self-guided journey.
So it was.
It was good information.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I love that.
Well, it was so beautiful andyou guys had so much amazing
information and, truly, you know, we, we forget about all of
these little parts of life.
You know, it's like we mightsay, oh, I want to be a better
person, but it's like, what doesthat mean?
You know I was talking to, Ihad a private client this
morning and I was, you know,sharing with him that I, you
know, I see you, that for thelast few years we've been doing
(06:37):
yoga two to three times a weekand that was totally new for him
.
He'd never done yoga before andhe's been super consistent.
But now we're talking aboutlike, okay, it would probably be
good for you to like work out,you know, have like a personal
trainer, do a little bit more oflike fitness type things.
But that can feel like achallenge sometimes when it's
(06:57):
this one more thing that we haveto do.
This is one hour that you couldhave been doing something else,
and I think that that's areason why a lot of people don't
meditate is because they'relike, oh, it's so boring, I
could be doing something else.
But that's another reason whypeople don't do yoga, why people
don't work out, why peopledon't meal prep.
It's time that we could bedoing other, more fun things,
(07:19):
and you know, we have to startto prioritize the things that
are really meaningful to us.
I think, especially as we'rekind of in this like mid-30s era
, it's sort of like you'recresting up to the top and it's
like where can we be better?
Because I think that as you'rea teen and in your 20s you're
(07:41):
just trying to figure your shitout, and then 30s, it kind of
feels like now we're refining.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yeah, oh, that's the perfect word yes, and I feel
like I'm in like this refinementtransition period of like I've
committed to showing up anddoing this work and teaching
others how to do this work.
So like, how do we take it onestep further now, this work?
(08:08):
So, like, how do we take it onestep further now?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
yeah, how do we, how do we expand the ripple?
That's magical, so it.
It feels like you already havesome sort of direction, but then
maybe just some fear around.
You know what?
What does this mean?
To turn 34 or you know?
I don't know what else is therearound it for you?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
And like I think there's a lot of societal things
Like we always see the clips onTikTok and whatever of the
actresses being like oh, I wasscared to turn 34 because your
career is over, your life isover, hollywood wants nothing to
do with you anymore, and it'slike we've set these societal
standards up.
Of like I think you've touchedon it a little bit too about
(08:50):
just like being like obsessedwith youth and it's it's like
distorting our perception onthings and we've talked about it
even on this podcast before oflike the whole like filter craze
.
I feel like it's the same thing.
It's like we're obsessed withyouth and like looking just like
a certain way.
So now that you're likecreeping up toward that age
where people are like oh, you'reold and ugly.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Oh my God, I want to drop in real quick to note that.
So my husband and I are childfree, child free by choice.
I made that choice really formyself, without my husband's
input, because I didn't know himyet.
I made that choice when I was22.
And for the entirety of my 20sand early 30s, anyone who would
(09:37):
ask me about it would say like,oh well, you can still change
your mind.
Oh, you're still young enough,you can still have kids.
And no one said that to me forthe last like year or two.
You've reached that age.
You're ever old.
Yes, it's this implicit like oh, ok, you can't really change
your mind.
You're, you're kind of old lady.
But I kind of revel in thatbecause it's that was really
(10:01):
annoying to have people alwayslike pushing back on my life
choices.
Because it's that was reallyannoying to have people always
like pushing back on my lifechoices.
But that's just been aninteresting thing, that it's
like, you know, if people arelike oh, you're 37.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Yeah, yeah, you probably should have done that
already.
Yeah, it's just like all theseweird societal things and
pressures that we put on people,and I think it's the same thing
.
Like I'm not married, I don'thave kids.
So it's the same thing.
Like I'm not married, I don'thave kids.
So it's like, oh well, youbetter hurry up.
Or like the new one is free,you should freeze your eggs.
Like oh god, oh god is right.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Like what the fuck?
I think that that's anotherinteresting part of our
particular modern life and likemaybe I'll address it as
millennials, because I thinkthat we especially long of my
(10:53):
other.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
So we had a few technical difficulties.
I don't know what this audio isgoing to be like.
All these, I don't know whatthis audio is going to be like.
Um, but, kat, do you want tojust kind of recap what?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
you just said, just in case it cut out yeah girl,
we'll, and we'll find out.
This is a part of the nearlyenlightened podcast.
Is that we don't have it allfigured out, right, yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I know and you know what, like I don't edit, like
you get, I'm not editing thingsout and like making things fit a
narrative like what you see iswhat you get.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I love it.
Well, what I had said before,when, when I saw you freeze, was
that I think that there'ssomething different about, uh,
our modern life, or, uh,millennials maybe, particularly
that we are waiting to getmarried till later, waiting to
have kids till later, starting acareer earlier, and so there's
a lot more older parents too.
Like growing up, my mom was 37when she had me and she was old,
(12:31):
older than all of my friends'parents.
But these days, I know a lot ofpeople who are normal.
You know 37 year old parentsfor the first time, or you know
I know a lot of people in theirforties who have had kids Um, um
, and it's less of a thing thesedays yeah, it's so true.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
My aunt actually had my cousin at 49 49 wow yeah.
So I know that, like there's no, like fuck your societal norms,
but it is like there, it's partof like the healing journey,
right.
So like you're going throughthis and like, or I'm going
through this and I'm just likeobserving now, like OK, this is
what's coming up for me, andlike we're gonna, we're gonna,
(13:12):
we're gonna feel, we're gonnafeel the feels about it in all
of that and acknowledge that.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
you know, this is a little scary and I think that
that's something that a lot ofus feel.
But we don't really acknowledgethat fear of aging.
And you know, I'll be on hereas someone who's older than you
to acknowledge it.
For myself, I mean, I keepforgetting that I'm 37.
I actually have almost toldpeople that I'm 36 a couple of
times this year.
Inside my head I feel like I'm24.
(13:48):
You know, if I, if I had tolike just grab an age, I'd
probably pick like 32.
But all of that's to say Idon't feel 37.
I totally am maybe freaking outabout turning 38 at the end of
this year, but I've got six anda half months to go.
We'll talk about this at theend of September, we'll talk
(14:08):
about this later.
But that means that like holyfuck, the big.
The big one is right around thecorner for me.
And I say the big one because40 feels like the biggest one,
doesn't it.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I remember when my mom turned 40, like not so much
my dad, because he was born onthe 4th of July and like every
year is a big year for him andso this year he's turning 70 and
it's funny because we're we'reboth kind of going through a
similar thing.
And the other night he said tome he was like how do you, do
you feel old, that you're gonnahave a 70 year old dad?
I was like no, I feel oldbecause I'm gonna be 30 fucking
(14:45):
far in 12 days.
What do you mean?
oh, my gosh, that's, but Iremember my mom turning 40 and
my dad had like a big surpriseparty for her and it was like a
big thing and like I was young,I was like maybe in I don't know
middle school okay well, Ican't even remember.
I didn't even have a dawn ofconscious memory when my mom
turned my mom had me at 27 wowoh my gosh, yeah, so we had
(15:10):
really different experiences ofour moms growing up yeah, my dad
was a little bit older, becausehe's eight years older than my
mom, but yeah, so I like vividlyremember her turning 40.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Fascinating.
Yeah, yeah, it feels like a,like a big transition.
It kind of feels almost likethat's proper adulthood and
proper adulthood.
I love that.
It feels really scary.
I feel grateful that my brotheris older than me, so he
actually just turned 40.
Oh, so he has to experience itfirst.
Tell me about it later, yes,exactly.
(15:45):
And then, even better than thatis, my husband is two months
older than me, so he's stillgoing to turn 40 before I do, so
that that again will be anotherstory for two and a half years
from now.
But I get that feeling of youknow there's there's fear about
it and there's fear about agingand about what does that mean
(16:05):
for me and about you.
Know our purpose and have wedone all the things that we've
wanted to do?
I had a list that I made when Iwas, I think, 22,.
That was all the things Iwanted to do before I turned 30.
And I found that list when Iwas 29.
And I was like, oh fuck, Ihaven't done those things and
(16:28):
some of them were reallynebulous, things like be in the
best shape of my life, whichit's like.
How do you quantify that?
And also, I wasn't, you know, Ithink I probably am at that now
, at 37, but I wasn't at 29.
And then some of them were, youknow, things like meet my
(16:48):
partner or go to Spain, likethings like that.
Um, but it it was a lot ofpressure, even from.
It was from myself.
My past self was pressuring meto have done these things by
this time, and I think that alot of us do that, and it's
whether it's like societalpressure, being like you have to
(17:10):
be married by the time you're35, or it's internal pressure,
like I have to go freeze my eggs.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, so that's where we're at right now.
So I'm finishing up thischallenge and I'm silently
freaking out about my birthday.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Well, how about do you have plans for your birthday
?
Like anything fun to do?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
It's a Saturday for your birthday, like anything fun
to do, it's a Saturday, so I'msure, I'm sure something fun
will be bound, as long as theNew England weather allows for
that to happen, because it canbe quite unpredictable this time
of year.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Yeah, they call it January in Washington state.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Oh, that's very funny .
Yeah, we can experience likeall of the seasons in one day in
June, so that's fun.
And right now we're actually Idon't know apparently there's
some fires in Canada and we'rejust like living in the smog of
that.
So, oh, gosh.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Well, maybe coming up with something that could be
like fun and exciting.
I I want to share about mybirthday experience, because I'm
excited to talk about birthdays.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Yes, that's why I wanted to have you on, because I
usually am a person I lovebirthdays and I love other
people's birthdays Like.
I will treat other people'sbirthdays like I would treat my
own.
I will cancel my plans.
I will throw you a birthdayparty.
I will take you out on the bestday of your life.
Like, birthdays are a big dealfor me, so I knew that.
(18:39):
I know that you're like verysimilar in that, so I I love
that we're having thisconversation.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Me too, and I hope to , I hope to hype you up a little
bit.
We'll see, um, I, I'm obsessedwith birthdays and I think that
that all comes down to myoriginal birthday, which is the
day after Christmas, whichfucking sucks.
Besides being born like onChristmas, I'm pretty sure it's
(19:06):
the second worst Feels, sort oflike you don't have your own
time or space.
You know people forget about it.
Try to combine it.
It just kind of is one of thosethings that like flies under
the radar.
You know, sometimes throughoutthe year I will see, say, like
on Instagram or Facebook.
Sometimes people will like postthings about their friends oh,
(19:27):
happy birthday to my friend.
No one has ever done that forme, ever.
Because it's the day afterfucking Christmas.
No one is paying attention,everyone's off their phone.
Also, maybe I'm just not thatkind of person who makes those
kinds of friends.
I feel like I have to be thathype woman for myself, because
(19:50):
people aren't going to remember,people aren't going to reach
out, everyone is busy and it'smidwinter, which also sucks.
So I feel like every year I havea list that I start making in
like November of what are thethings that I want to do on my
birthday, and so I write out,you know, things I like to do or
things that I might want to doand try to make it this really
(20:13):
special thing to do, or thingsthat I might want to do and try
to like make it this reallyspecial thing.
But coming back to that idea oflike the pressure that we put on
ourselves my husband over thelast couple years has
acknowledged this in me that Ikind of go maybe off the deep
end with my birthday, that it'salmost like I'm trying to make
it be so special that I put alot of pressure on it and then
(20:37):
it either doesn't end up beingthat special or I put so much
pressure on myself that I havemore anxiety about it than it is
fun.
Like a some idea of like somethings that might be like what
(20:59):
lights you up the most and havethat be a way to like celebrate
yourself rather than like here'swhat I'm gonna do for fun today
, but like how can you be likefuck, yeah, I'm so glad I was
born, I'm so glad I'm Gianna yes, I should think about this a
little bit.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Yeah, I'm not'm not sure yet I'm like that I feel
very like counterintuitive tosummer energy Like, while I feel
like everything's like more outand social like, I'm just like
not feeling that in my currentand I don't know if that's
because I've been so outward onsocial media and the podcast
(21:33):
that it's just and and teachingclasses it's just like.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Okay, that's enough socialing for me for for right
now yeah, well, and as aprojector, that's a lot of
socialing.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Yes, yeah, I know it's funny because d came back
to me and she's like okay,you're gonna rest this week
because she's a manifestinggenerator.
And I was like, no, no, no, wecan keep going.
And she's like, no, no, she'slike we're going to announce the
winner and we're done for theweek.
I was like, okay, okay, you seeme, I love that.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
You got to have someone who takes care of your
poor little projector heart.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Yes, especially because it's hard to ask for
help and if you're, you knowyou're.
You own a small business too.
So it's like, oh no, I can dothat.
Oh, no, I can do that.
Oh, I'm gonna do that better.
Oh, but I'm not gonna like theway that somebody else does that
.
I'm not gonna ask for help.
But I'm learning to like leanon other people and ask for help
because I didn't want nearlyenlightened to be just about me.
(22:30):
So that has also been veryfreeing as well, to have
somebody to like shareresponsibilities with, where
it's like, oh, this isn't justmy load.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yes, I love that so much and maybe that's part of
part of what you know.
This this upcoming Saturday ina couple weeks will be for you
is like honoring that part ofyou, the fact that you have been
making all of these connections, doing all of these things,
moving this message forward inall of these amazing creative
(23:04):
ways and sinking into that,really feeling into that.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Yes, it's taking time to like do the things that I
like to fill my cup up, becauseI feel like these tools that I
have gathered the breath work,the meditation, the yoga they've
become less of the tools thatfill me up and more like the
brushing of the teeth, so nowit's like you need new things to
(23:31):
kind of be that.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Yes, I like that.
So maybe it's this like slow,cozy self-care I'm not going to
talk to anyone today, and it canbe that too and I think that
that's something that we thinkabout.
Birthdays is like oh, we got togo out and go hard and get
dressed up and go to the bar andsee our friends and do all this
(23:57):
stuff, and it's like but maybeyou just want to like give
yourself a pedicure and do a mudmask and watch a movie in bed.
I don't know yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Saturdays in the summer for my family and our
family friends, we go to BlockIsland and we just do like the
beach day, which could very wellbe a possibility, and I would
love that.
But I'm also like, I'm open.
I love that.
I'm open to direction.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yes, Well, and I I am sure that it won't be as bad as
my worst birthday, which I'mgoing to share on your podcast.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yes, so I already shared that my birthday is the
day after Christmas, which sucks.
When I turned seven, I wasrunning around the house with my
brother and my dad.
My brother was chasing my dadand I was chasing my brother.
My brother did not know that Iwas chasing my brother.
My brother did not know that Iwas chasing him and he slammed
(24:58):
the door behind him and it wentright into my face and I like I
wouldn't say that it broke mynose, but my nose was definitely
messed up my two front teethcame out and they were not ready
to come out, so one of them washanging, but I was, you know,
literally just seven.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
So that is so traumatizing.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I had only lost like two teeth before, so I didn't
want my mom to pull it out andso I had to just like suffer
with this tooth.
That was like just hanging outof my mouth, and then the other
one fell completely out.
That was like just hanging outof my mouth and then the other
one fell completely out.
And then, let's see, no onecame to my party.
(25:44):
Oh, seven years old People hadRSVP and they just didn't
fucking show up.
Some people didn't RSVP anddidn't show up.
One person came my best friendTaji.
She's still my best friend tothis day and so my brother
locked himself in his roombecause he felt so bad.
Taji was my best friend Taji,she's still my best friend to
this day and so my brotherlocked himself in his room
because he felt so bad.
Taji was my only friend at myparty.
I couldn't eat cake and icecream.
One tooth is freaking hangingout of my mouth.
Worst birthday ever.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Oh, that is so sad.
I want to hug little seven yearold cat.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Oh my god, me too, and, and, and poor 10 year old
Matt, because I feel really badfor him because it was.
It was not intentional that hehurt me, but I think that that
that hurt him for a number ofyears and I feel so bad about it
.
But it's like, it's one ofthose things.
You know, like each of ourfamilies has some kind of like
crazy story, and that that's oneof ours that is so funny.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
It that was like just like a normal saturday at our
house, like somebody was alwaysgetting a tooth knocked out,
somebody was getting stitches,like it was.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
It was a wwe back down at all times oh my gosh, we
had very different growing upsbecause I that was, we didn't
have a lot of injury.
Um, I think that my brothermessed with me more
psychologically than thanphysically, or the physical part
was just the fact that he hasalways been bigger than people
his size or his age and I'vealways been smaller than people
(27:13):
my age, or as a kid I was and soI was like really like tiny and
sensitive, and he was like bigand strong, and so he'd just
mess around with me and I'd gethurt, but like not intense yeah,
yeah, it was never intentionalon our part either.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
We were just like roughhousing, doing something we
shouldn't have been doing, likebuilding ramps to jump off of
with our bikes or our school.
It's like yeah, yeah, okay.
I mean my brother has come intothe house with like a stick
coming out of his eye and my mombeing like, okay, just just get
(27:47):
in the car, like the urgentcare near our house, like
everyone knew us, because likeit was just, it was always
something crazy.
We grew up on a street, on adead end street in the woods,
with like a bunch of kids thatwere our age, so it was just
Always chaotic.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
That sounds like so much fun though.
It honestly was like unlessyou're the one getting hurt
unless you're the one gettinghurt, unless you're the one
getting hurt, but like sometimesit was just like you know,
you're just riding your bikehard.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
We were like riding our bikes up rocks and like the
next thing I knew, my kickstandwas like through my leg, like it
.
Just things like that happened.
Oh my god, I know.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I don't want to have kids.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
you know what's great like.
My mom is a panicker, but shewas always so calm in those
situations like she never thepanic never showed.
And like nine times out of tenmy dad is like Italian from
Italy lived in a village likethere were no doctors, so even
some of the worst injuries thatlike definitely needed stitches
(28:54):
were just like butterfliedtogether Like it'll be fine.
Oh my gosh, wipe it down witholive oil, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Put some dirt in it, walk it off.
I love that that's so funny.
Walk it off, oh my gosh, I lovethat that's so funny.
Yeah, well, me, for for myhouse.
Um, you know, having a toothknocked out definitely was not
something that happened all thetime, and especially not on
one's birthday.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
That was uh that was bad news.
That's something you neverforget, that stays with you for
life.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
And I think that that's that probably is why I
put a lot of pressure on myselffor my birthday.
After that year my mom starteddoing for me half year parties,
so I was actually more fun thanhaving people come over the day
(29:56):
after Christmas.
But yeah, I feel like that kindof made it feel like I had to
make it special.
You know the fact that thetiming I feel like I have to
make it special.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
One of the reasons why I love the timing of my
birthday is because it is thehalfway mark.
Yeah, so you get presentshalfway through the year, and
that was always very special tome, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
I've always been very jealous because I have to like
think about what do I want onlythis one time and like yes, I
say that my love language is allof them, like it's all of them.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
I want gifts, I want acts of service, I want words
about, I want all of it.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
I want you to tell me I'm pretty and give me
something pretty and dosomething nice for me but that's
also like how I give love aswell.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Like it's not, but yeah, that's so.
Like birthdays are like likebeing the halfway point.
I always loved that.
That was always very for me,yes and I.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
I feel like you and I are also both really similar.
Even when we would hang outwhen we lived in the same place,
we'd call it our goddess days.
Goddess days, yes, and I feellike you and I are both like
that where it's like we want tohave our birthday, be like that,
all about us.
And so I get like superobnoxious.
Ryan a couple years ago, boughtme a sash that says it's my
(31:23):
birthday and I wore it this lastyear and then anytime someone
would look at it and say what'sthat?
Say I'd open my arms up and go,it's my birthday.
That say I'd open my arms upand go it's my birthday, just
because I'm like let me tell asmany people as possible that
it's my birthday because it'sall about me today.
But that feels like alsosometimes a really fun energy to
get into, as like what is goingto make me the happiest today.
(31:48):
You know what's going to lightme up, what's going to let me be
my most goddess self.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Yes, and then we should just trickle that into
every single day.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Yes, I feel like I do that now on for my 30th
birthday.
I was actually still living ina small town in Washington State
, which is a terrible place tohave your birthday because it's
fucking cold and there's nothingto do, and we're two people who
hate the cold cold and there'snothing to do, and we're two
people who hate the cold.
Yes, so I was like I want to goback to Orange County for my
(32:23):
birthday, because I went toschool in Orange County.
That's one of my favoriteplaces and at that time I still
had some friends there.
So I set up a whole Christmastrip for me and my husband and I
wanted to do all the thingsthat made me the happiest.
And some of that was likegetting Chick-fil-A, because,
like, we lived in a small townand that was the only time that
I could get Chick-fil-A, so itwas like let me eat Chick-fil-A
(32:43):
and I want to go to the park andswing on the swings and I had a
friend who lived in town and Iwanted to see him and spend time
and it, it, I got a tattoo thatday.
So it was like all of thesethings that were like really
special to me, even if it wasn'tspecial to anyone else.
You know, ryan is not going toeat Chick-fil-A.
That's my husband.
You know, like, some of thethings that we did were like
(33:05):
just very for me, and I thinkthat that that's a birthday that
stands out to me as somethingthat was like really special,
because it was all day wasexactly what I wanted to do and
it felt like, you know, 30 isreally special and, yeah, making
it something that you canremember 30 is really special.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
So you want to hear one of my worst birthdays ever,
which just so happy 30.
You know it wasn't like theworst worst, but it wasn't
really the best either.
It was mid-covid times.
You didn't know it yet, but theapartment that we had just
gotten to had fucking bedbugs.
Oh my god, that that year, thatyear, the bedbug year 30 came
(33:46):
in with you, texted me 30 camein with the motherfucking bang.
Like, let me tell you, I, you,I'm pretty sure, yeah, that was
30.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
I remember getting those texts from you and it was
like in all caps I have fuckingbad bugs.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
No, like now it's a funny story.
Like now it's a funny story,but like in the moment, I
actually was the most not okaythat I've ever been in my life.
Yeah, I can imagine, because ifyou know me, like if you've
ever come to like my apartmentor any place that I've ever
lived I am a very clean personyou could eat off of my counters
or my floors at any givenmoment.
I felt so dirty, I felt so notokay and it was so out of my
(34:33):
control and there's nothing youcan do.
There's nowhere you can go,there's no escaping it.
It is the most like you want todo shadow work, get bed bugs.
I would just be like in themiddle of target and then all of
a sudden like forget for likefive seconds and then when you
remember again, it's the worstthing that ever happened to you.
(34:54):
I would be like bawling my eyesout in the middle of target,
like, like, like, couldn'tbreathe, like couldn't breathe.
It was the worst and literallyeverything kept going wrong.
So, like everything we so likethe only thing you need when you
have bed bugs.
It's like a washer and a dryer.
And we had just moved into thisapartment.
(35:15):
It was brand new.
No one had ever lived therebefore.
It just so happened that thefurniture that came to the
apartment was the warehouse hadbed bugs.
So the fucking furniture hadbed bugs and they there was like
a nest in the couch and wedidn't know it because it just
looks like a brand new fuckingcouch.
That's so gross.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
No, literally like when I tell you the amount of
tears I cried I like I mightstart crying tears for you right
now, and it's like that was somany years ago and it makes me
so sad.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
It's funny because, like I, right after this had
happened, I met my friend, jessat a meditation event in Arizona
, when I was still living inArizona, and I was telling her
the story and we were actuallylaughing hysterically about it
because I was like, if I don'tlaugh about it, I'm going to
crack the fuck up like it was.
Yeah, because you have to throwyour stuff away like it it's
(36:13):
and it's not just it like a hugemisconception, as it's just in
the beds.
Like no, it's not, they'reeverywhere.
They can live behind baseboards, they can live behind behind
light switches, they can live inwood, they can live in plastic,
they can live fuckingeverywhere.
Like the only way to kill themsure fire is not even because
(36:33):
we've used this is anothersoapbox of mine but because
we've used so many pesticidesand and herbicides and these
types of things.
They've become basically likesuper bugs, so they become
immune to the chemicals that weuse on them.
So the company who we hadgotten the furniture from said
okay, we're going to send out anOrkin man.
Like Orkin man's going to dothe thing, whatever.
(36:54):
Whatever Orkin man comes outand says okay, yes, you have bed
bugs.
So actually now you need towait, because now we need to
come back for the chemicaltreatment.
I'm like, why can't you fuckingdo it now?
We're like literally livingwith it.
I have bites all over me fromhead to toe oh my god and they
don't just bite you once, theybite you three times in a line.
It's great, oh my god.
(37:14):
So now I'm like so itchy, it'slike the itchiest mosquito bites
you've ever had in your life.
They're like itchy and theyhurt and there's nowhere to go,
because if you go to a hotel,you're gonna bring them with you
.
If you like god, if you goanywhere, you're bringing them
with you.
So until you address thefucking root cause of the
problem, you are trapped in yourown reality, that is, fucking
(37:37):
bed bugs.
And I'm in the middle of likeaspen, colorado, where, like
commercial things are not abound, like they're not.
It's hard to come by.
Like the closest Walmart is anhour away, the closest target is
45 minutes away.
Like things are far, um.
So they're like, yeah, we cansend somebody out in two weeks.
(38:00):
I'm like, oh, excuse me, what?
So now?
Now we're just like living withit.
They say don't use over-thecounter stuff.
We obviously fucking didbecause, like, what are you
going to do at that point?
Like you can't make it worse atthat point.
Yes, so that was 30.
And yeah, so like 30 was justlike throwing away all of my
(38:24):
shit trying to get rid ofbedbugs, missing my sister's
engagement trying to get rid ofbedbugs.
Missing my sister's engagement,um and just yeah dealing,
dealing with that.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
So that was.
That was my 30.
That sounds like a nightmare.
It kind of was.
Yeah, Maybe you need to redothat, a redo 30.
I agree, yeah.
I agree yeah, because that thatis a nightmare.
And, um, I know that that is anightmare and I know that was
just such a challenging time foryou anyway.
So so many things and blips andannoying bedbug bites.
It's just like one thing afteranother.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
It was literally like a month of living with that.
It was crazy and we didn't knowit at first because, like
you're naive and you don't wantto, your brain does not want to
accept something like that.
Hell, no, it's crazy.
It is crazy I will never.
It's funny because, like now Icould never go to a hotel and
like be the same ever again.
Like I am the crazy personwho's peeling back sheets, like
(39:26):
looking well, now I'm going to,yeah, yeah, it's it ain't for
the faint of heart.
So then they end up sending thisorcan man out.
Orcan man sprays doesn't getrid of them.
So now I am like in researchmode.
I go to my then boyfriend atthe time and I was like, listen,
(39:46):
the only way to get rid of themis heat.
That's the only way we're goingto get rid of them.
So we had to hire a company tocome in and they have these
giant propane tanks and theyheat everything, every surface,
up to 140 degrees and that isthe only surefire way to get rid
(40:09):
of them.
And I told the company I waslike, come, get this fucking
couch, get it out of my house.
I never want to see it again.
Light it on fire like.
I don't give a fuck what you doto it.
Get it out of here.
So if you have bed bugs, theonly way to get rid of them
truly is heat oh my god.
Well, I feel like this is agreat psa and I'm not sponsored
(40:31):
or affiliated by orchid in anyway, shape or form.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Good, because they don't do the heat yes, oh my god
, that that seriously soundshorrible and I I feel like you
need to have a redo.
This last year, for me birthdayfelt like a redo of the year
before, when I was deep in mygrief hole and I think it was
sick.
And that was 36 was, yeah, nota good birthday.
(40:55):
So then, 37, I was like, let'sgo hard.
Like like, got up early, wentto breakfast, open presents,
went walking around the park wewent walking around this little
outdoor mall went to dinner,watched a movie.
It was a whole deal, a wholeday.
Oh, I love that.
Yeah, I am an advocate of theredo.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
Yeah, I think that's what this year needs to be.
I know it's going to be a greatone, but I'm just not looking
forward to it coming up.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
Yeah, I get that, and sometimes it's that we, you
know, we don't know what toexpect.
I want to share another one ofmy birthdays, so I shared that
on my seventh birthday, my bestfriend Taji, was the only one
who showed up.
I shared that we are stillfriends to this day, 30 years
later.
She spent every one of mybirthdays with me my actual on
(41:50):
the day birthday.
The whole time that I lived inMiami, so from age seven to 13,.
She was there on my birthday.
Then we moved to Washingtonstate and when I turned 14, I
was feeling really sad and itwas this like who am I now?
I'm living in this new place.
I don't know really anyone.
(42:10):
I don't know how to spend mybirthday in Washington State.
You know, like everything feltreally new.
But I said, okay, I would liketo go to Seattle and maybe we
can see my aunt and then go seea movie, because we did not have
a movie theater in our smalltown.
So we drive over to Seattle,which is two hours away, and, of
(42:31):
course, being 14, we had justmoved there.
I didn't know anything aboutanything.
You know where we are, wherewe're going.
Well, we end up at the airportand Taji came.
Her and her brother got on aflight on my birthday from Miami
and came to visit us.
That's a special friend.
(42:52):
To fly across the country, ohmy gosh, seriously.
And it was such a wonderfulthing because it was like my
first birthday after moving andit was completely unexpected,
you know, I guess she plannedwith my parents, but it was so
special and then we, you know,did my regular birthday things.
But sometimes you just don'tknow what, what that day will
(43:13):
hold.
Maybe there's something specialand exciting waiting for you
that you're like, oh, I don'tknow what to expect, and then
it's going to be the bestbirthday ever.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
Yes, we'll put that out there.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Yeah, maybe I'll fly across the country.
Just kidding, I won't.
Don't get your hopes up.
I've got bachelorette partiesthat day.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Oh, what a gorgeous day to have a bachelorette party
.
It's going to be hot as fuck inArizona it will be so hot.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
I need to tell the girls we got to be inside
probably.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
It will.
Actually, I'm hoping for abeach day.
Yeah, I'm hoping for a beachday, I'm ready for them day.
Yeah, I'm hoping for a beachday, I'm ready for them.
It's been um, new England, hasbeen New Englanding, and it
hasn't been the greatest ofweather, so we'll see if there
can be some late spring magic.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
I love that like that you're feeling better about,
about the day coming up, ormaybe, oh my gosh, I am
apprehensive.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Always, podcasting is like therapeutic in its own
right and I feel like this is avery raw, real episode, so I
hope everyone enjoys it.
I'm kind of like on the otherend of my Gemini Insert evil
laugh.
So yeah, I'm excited.
(44:29):
I'm glad that you're here withme, because it's always fun to
catch up with you.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
Yeah, same, and it's a topic that is near and dear to
my heart.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Both birthdays and aging, and fear of time moving
on, because that's, as you know,something that I work on.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
It's in your wheelhouse.
I work in your wheelhouse.
It's in my wheelhouse.
Yes, and you you actually havea new group um coming in.
We start well.
We started kind of last week,but this week is our first like
in-person meeting.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Yes, I'm so excited.
So, and find your face freedom.
Gianna is in the second roundand I'm so excited to have her
there.
I've got seven people, so I'mreally excited to shake things
up.
I've got a few people who aredoing it now for the second time
which I think is really coolit's just like let's keep on
with this face freedom thing whoare diving in for the first
(45:26):
time, and that's just reallyexciting for me because I feel
like we as ladies, andespecially we as millennial
ladies I think there's so muchabout what is upcoming for us
that big, scary 40 birthday thatsome of my people have already
hit that.
But it's this new era and we'renew people and we live in this
(45:50):
weird world that tells us, likeyou were saying, that you're
irrelevant after this certainage and that certain age
sometimes is like 19.
Sometimes it's like 34.
And sometimes it doesn't evenmatter, you know, and I think
that there's something about usbeing able to like reclaim the
fact that I'm still relevant orI'm still beautiful, or I'm
(46:13):
still here and crushing it,whatever it is that you are.
I think that it's important forus to really embrace that and
feel powerful in that.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
Yeah, I think it's like pretty much the base of of
your work, your work and I.
I love having this conversationbecause I do think that we're
setting up really ridiculousstandards.
And you know, I I've been verycandid about this, like I used
to love showing up with a filterbecause, yeah, it makes your
skin look smoother and your facelook more symmetrical and it
(46:47):
gives you those lips that youneed to spend hundreds of
dollars on and like all thesethings.
But at the end of the day, likethat's not you, that's not who.
Like if somebody were to runinto you on the street after
seeing you with all thosefilters on, like they wouldn't
there.
It doesn't look like you, it's,oh, it's literally an avatar of
(47:07):
you.
Like it's not you.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
I legitimately don't know what some people look like.
All right it's true.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
And you know, there's this one influencer, name not
be mentioned, and the only timeshe shows up on social media is
with a filter on and I justthink, like it's, it's
fraudulent.
At this point I'm going to sayyes, it's fucking fraudulent.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
You use the word fraudulent.
Yes, I know who you're talkingabout and I will also not use
her name, but there's it's.
It is fraudulent to say, well,this is what a 40 year old
person looks like.
Well, this is what my skinlooks like it's filtered lady.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
Right, and meanwhile you're like selling supplements
and products, and people areexpecting to look like you.
Only, they can't look like youbecause well, I mean they could.
They could just download thefilter that you're using.
Speaker 2 (48:02):
Almost every time that I see someone using a
filter, I click on.
Click on the filter and thensee what it does to my face and
I like freak out a little bitbecause it makes me look like a
psycho.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
Honestly, you should do a reel of all of these
filters that you find frominfluencers and like the with
filter, with no filter, likemake a real, string them
together.
Speaker 2 (48:25):
I need to figure out how to do it.
I'm one of those millennialsthat's not very techie and my
Instagram actually lives on anold iPad, which is also not
great for taking pictures on.
So it might need to be one ofthose things where I like
download it to my phone for liketwo seconds, just make the reel
and then delete it.
But I would love to anddefinitely am going to, I'm
(48:48):
going to get into it because itit's fraudulent.
It's fraudulent it's same withlying about our age.
You know I would be a much moresuccessful face yoga teacher if
I told you that I was 57, butI'm 37 and I'm not going to lie
about that because that'sfraudulent.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
Period, period.
It's just so weird to me, andespecially people in the healing
space, and like this is maybelike I don't know my thing to
work through, but like I get itif the filters are fun or
whatever.
But if you're telling people tolove themselves, to show up as
themselves, to be morethemselves, and you're showing
up with the filter like what isyour message?
Speaker 2 (49:28):
even like yeah, and you're saying love yourself for
who you are, but I'm not goingto love myself for who I am.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
I'm going to love this filter and the way the
filter makes me look.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
I love this filter.
Oh my God.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
I've heard people say that, well, I, but I just like
the way that I look better withit and I'm like, of course, you
do no shit, duh Like.
And that's the thing and we'vetalked about this before on the
on this podcast that, like Iactually just found a picture of
myself the other day from uh,let's see, 2021.
Um, that was what?
How many years ago?
(50:00):
Four years ago, so I was 33 andI found this picture and I was
like, oh my God, like I lookedso pretty and I don't have
crow's feet and like there's nolittle wrinkles under my eyes,
and I was like, I felt likelegitimately sad.
I was like, oh my God, I usedto be so pretty.
And then I went to that pictureand I was like it was edited.
(50:21):
It was edited.
I never looked like that.
And that's the thing is thatwe're not just messing with
other people's perceptions of us.
We're messing with our ownperceptions of us, and that is
arguably the most dangerous.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
I agree, because it's a slippery slope, because then
you know.
Then you're bringing thepicture of yourself with the
filter to the injector andsaying, how do I look like this?
Make me look like this?
And it's a much deeper issue.
So I like yeah, at first Ithought the filters were fun,
and they were fun to look like apuppy dog and like to stick
(50:59):
your tongue out and it like dothe slurp thing.
Like yeah, that's fun.
But now I feel like we'vecrossed the line to like we're
distorting our perception ofourselves and I'm sorry if
you're in the healing space andyou're only showing up with
pictures like take a deep lookat yourself in the actual mirror
and like is that the way thatyou want to show up?
Speaker 2 (51:21):
I love that I might use that just like fucking a
word for a word in a reel,because, like I told you in a DM
on Instagram, I'm absolutelygoing to make a reel about it
again, not not mentioning andspirit state, but you're not by
(51:53):
putting up videos and photos ofyourself and showing up live.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
I use live in air quotes.
If you're showing up live witha filter, like you are not
showing up authentically, you'relike like I go back to again
what is your message If youcan't show up authentically,
you're like what?
Like I go back to again what isyour message If you can't show
up authentically and how youreally look?
If you're not comfortable withhow you really look, then what
are?
What are you doing here?
How are you leading othersRight?
Speaker 2 (52:20):
Exactly.
How are you leading othersExactly?
And that's that's the piece ofit that rubs me the wrong way.
I did write a comment on one ofthose posts that I was like, oh
yeah, like AI is totallymessing with our heads and, you
know, using filters, blah, blah,blah.
When this video was like of herfiltered, I noticed that, like
she did not reply to me, butlike, that's.
(52:43):
The thing is that, like youwere saying, the filters back in
the day, you know, 2016,.
17 on Snapchat, it was like,yeah, the puppy dog one.
Or like, oh, what do I looklike with a little like halo of
flower, crown flowers, you knowsilly stuff?
Yeah, and yeah, it would bestill really distorting your
face and your features, butthese days, the filters still do
(53:05):
that.
But they are.
They're changing their names tobe things like clean, natural,
natural beauty, beige and white,ultra 4k HD, and it's like none
of those things are real.
It's filter, filter, filter,filter, filter.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Yes, it's distorting your face and making yourself an
avatar and like that's whywe're in this dawn of the
internet where, like I think,people are craving more
authenticity.
And so D and I were obviouslylike we posted every single day
for 30 days.
So obviously we were internallyfreaking out and like, yeah, we
(53:46):
had videos where we weresending to each other and being
like please talk me out ofdeleting this because I feel fat
ugly and like all of thesethings.
And we both like a few times weboth had to kind of like talk
ourselves off the ledge, so tospeak, being like no, this is
real, this is like how we look.
This isn't edited, it's notlike facetuned or like whatever.
(54:09):
Like this is how we actuallylook when we practice yoga.
Yeah, you're gonna have fuckingrolls when you bend over,
because that's like you wouldn'thave mobility if you didn't
have that skin.
Speaker 2 (54:19):
And that's what bodies do, and I think that the,
the fact that you posted everyday and that you posted those
things that made youuncomfortable, that's the stuff
that's going to make you lessuncomfortable, and it's like
those are the things that, whenwe can get over our fear of like
, what's someone going to sayabout this or about me, that we
(54:39):
get to that next level of beinglike, oh, actually, that wasn't
that bad, that wasn't that scary, everything's okay.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
I'm still alive, yeah , and not coming from yes, and
not coming from a place of like.
I have this all figured outbecause, trust me, like there
are days when I would rathershow up with filter on and be
less real, because I might betired, I might be in the middle
of my cycle, I might have somedark circles like, whatever it.
(55:07):
But I am actively working onshowing up more without any of
the editing, because I thinkit's important.
I think that you know, as yousaid, we're millennials.
So now I think we're kind oflike setting the stage and we're
stepping up and becoming theleaders.
And I look at my cousin, who's15, and I'm like what message
(55:32):
does this send her?
And I always look at thingsthrough that filter because when
I was her age, I was lookingfor the role models of like okay
, who is setting the goodexample?
And in our generation therereally wasn't, there wasn't a
lot to choose from.
Speaker 2 (55:49):
No, and even still, there's not a lot to choose from
.
Who's your natural aging rolemodel?
Who would you pick.
Speaker 1 (55:55):
That's really hard because, like, who is actually
aging?
Aging, naturally it's very fewand far between, but somebody
who I did actually this is veryfunny because she came across my
awareness today in a post isCameron Diaz?
Speaker 2 (56:10):
yeah, totally, she's a good one.
Speaker 1 (56:12):
She looks great and that's the thing, is that she
just looks her age and she'stalked candidly about like
having the pressures of doingthose things and stopping and
being like no, I'm gonna look myage and like yeah, we have to
really start.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
It's crazy that we have to start applauding that,
but like yeah yeah, well, andthat's the thing is is accepting
ourselves for who and where andwhen we are, and that's the
thing that I talk about with,with find your face.
Freedom is that, yeah, we, wemay all wish that we had a
little bit more of this, alittle bit less of that, that we
(56:45):
could turn the clock back acouple of years, but the reality
is you can't.
And so what are you going to do?
Instead?
You either hate yourself or youcan learn to accept yourself,
and this goes for you know ourage, our natural face, our lives
, who we are as people, and Ithink that you know, as as we
(57:07):
talk about, about you know,turning a new age or having a
new birthday.
I know there's so many peoplewho, like, actively fear that or
push against that, and I thinkthat if we can learn how to
embrace ourselves, that is thebetter yes, and I think that's a
beautiful place to end.
Speaker 1 (57:25):
so you are just starting your second cohort of
find your face freedom, and isit too late to sign up for that,
or can people still sign up forthis round?
Speaker 2 (57:36):
You know, we have our first live call on Friday the
sixth.
So as long as someone is okaywith probably having missed that
first live call, hey, if youare ready to see yourself in a
new way, have a new face and anew relationship with yourself
by the end of summer, hit me up.
Find me onfindyourfacefreedomcom it is not
(57:56):
too late to book a call with me.
Just mash that book a callbutton and we can chat.
We can fold you into the groupand if now is not the right time
I know that summer is very busyfor people there's going to be
another round coming up in theautumn, probably September or so
.
So still head on over tofindyourfacefreedomcom.
Book a call with me.
It's never too late, it's nevertoo early Because we we all are
(58:19):
getting older, Our faces areall changing and I'm here for
you whenever you're ready.
Speaker 1 (58:25):
Yes, I love that.
Well.
Thank you so much for beinghere with me today.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
Yes, thank you for having me.
This was so much fun.
I love to talk about all thiskind of stuff with you.
Speaker 1 (58:35):
I love when you come on the podcast because it just
feels like an extension of ourgoddess days.
Speaker 2 (58:39):
Yes, it really is, Except you're not here on the
couch with me.
Speaker 1 (58:43):
I know, and that is so that is kind of sad was just
telling my boyfriend.
I was like, would you want togo to Arizona soon?
Like, um, I kind of want to seemy friends.
I want to take a yoga class,like I literally just want to
come take a class with Anton andhang out with you.
That sounds amazing and likemaybe go get.
Speaker 2 (59:03):
Thai food at Glybon yes, well, if you want to come
in.
In October we're celebratingour 10-year wedding anniversary,
so um and october is such agorgeous month to be in the
desert, I agree, not too hot,we'll throw that out there, and
then we can celebrate both ofour birthdays I love that I do
(59:23):
have some southwest credits thatare just like I'm just saving
them for a rainy day.
All right, all right.
Well, I hope that you have anamazing birthday.
Truly, I wish that I could justpop out there and come see you
and go to the beach with you andyour family.
Speaker 1 (59:39):
Oh my gosh, I would love nothing more.
That needs to happen soon.
Yes, I agree with that.
Well, thank you for being hereand thank you for being my
friend and I love you so much,right back at you for being here
and thank you for being myfriend and I love you so much.
Speaker 2 (59:50):
Right back at you, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (59:53):
Thank you for tuning into today's episode of the
Nearly Enlightened podcast.
If this conversation resonatedwith you, I would love it.
If you shared, leave a reviewor reach out and let me know
your thoughts.
And if you're looking for moreways to deepen your connection
to body, mind and spirit, checkout Meditate to Elevate my
guided meditation portal, orvisit nearlyenlightenedcom for
more resources.
Until next time, stay curious,stay connected and remember the
(01:00:16):
answers already lie within.
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