[Bonus] Depression Reflection | Neurospicy Black Girl

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Thank you for listening to me talk about my depression struggles. Hope this can be helpful to someone.

Microphone: https://zealsound.com/

Resources:

•https://988lifeline.org/
•https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/
•International Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/

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Here are my socials: https://linktr.ee/neurospicyblackgirl

Buy me a coffee!: https://buymeacoffee.com/neurospicyblackgirl

Support the place that helped me produce the podcast!: https://bricartsmedia.org/

Music: https://pixabay.com/users/bodleasons-28047609/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=music&utm_content=223103

Intro Song: First Love is Never Forgotten

by Juno Waves

Support the artist: https://junowaves.bandcamp.com/

DISCLAIMER: The information provided on this podcast is for general knowledge and informational purposes only, and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for any health concerns or before making any decisions related to your health.

Tags:
#neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurospicy #podcast #adhdpodcast #adhdproblems #neurospicyblackgirl #blackneurodivergent

Episode Transcript

ALANI (00:00):
Before we begin, I want to get this elephant out of the
room.
I want to apologize for thelast episode's previous audio
quality.
I did not have access...
to the regular podcast studiothat I be recording , and I did
not have a mic at this time , soI unfortunately used my

(00:22):
laptop's mic and I tried toclean up the audio as best as I
could, but it was not doingwhat it needed to be done, but
I bought a mic it is actuallyreally good quality I tested it
out and And it's actuallyreally, like, affordable too,
so.

(00:42):
It is called Zeal Sound.
I will leave the link to buy itin the description.
But yeah, just wanted to getthat out there.
Now, on to the episode.
Hi, I'm Alani.
I'm black, female, andneurodivergent.
A.K.A.
I lost the genetic lottery.

(01:03):
The only thing I could do waspull myself up by my bootstraps
and live whatever life takes me.
If anyone deserves to profitfrom my trauma, it's me.
That's the life of Neuros picyBlack Girl.
Hi everybody, it's Alani.

(01:31):
Welcome back to Neuro spicyBlack Girl.
Or maybe welcome to this small,quiet corner of the internet
where we process feelings inwaves.
Not bullet points.
So, this episode is anotherbonus episode.
I'm just thinking about mereflecting.
Mainly reflecting on thedepression episode.

(01:53):
So, if you listened to the lastepisode, thank you.
Thank you for staying with mein the mess that is depression.
For letting me talk about itwithout flinching.
And for making space forsadness, that doesn't come with
a quick fix.
That episode wasn't easy tomake.
I talked about being diagnosedin 8th grade.

(02:16):
I talked about how I had tofight just to be believed by my
own mother, of all people.
How depression for me isn'talways about crying or being
visibly upset.
Sometimes it's sleeping 12hours and still waking up
feeling like I got hit byemotional traffic.

(02:37):
Sometimes it's isolating,recharging or rotting depending
on the day.
Sometimes, it's escaping tofantasy worlds I build in my
head because those worlds arequiet.
Those worlds don't demandanything from me.
Those worlds I can just bemyself.

(03:00):
And even though I can createjoy from those escapes, whether
I could turn them into storiesor scripts or little daydreams,
it's also exhausting wishing Icould stay there.
Where there are no bills, nodeadlines, no racial
microaggressions in the groupSlack channel, or in person.

(03:23):
Just vibes and adventure andmaybe a dragon or two.
But what I realized afterrecording the episode is that
it's okay to not be okay on themic.
I don't have to polish thestruggle into a life lesson
every time.
I'm allowed to just say, itsucks.
And you, yeah, you listening,you're allowed to feel it too.

(03:49):
You're allowed to be still, tobe angry, to be numb, to be
tired, to be messy, andunmotivated and imperfect.
You're allowed to exist withoutproducing, without achieving,
without explaining why you feelthe way you do.
Sometimes surviving is theachievement.

(04:10):
I feel like we don't talkenough about what it means to be
neurodivergent and depressedand black, to have emotions
people don't believe, to maskyour breakdowns with jokes, to
be both creative and collapsing.
I say this with love, but alsowith the truth.

(04:31):
Depression doesn't mean you'rebroken.
It doesn't mean you're lazy.
It doesn't mean you're weak.
It just means you're human.
And some days, being human isreally freaking hard.
If you're in a tough placeright now, maybe listening from
your bed, maybe zoned out atwork, or maybe somewhere in

(04:56):
between, I hope you take amoment to be kind to yourself.
Not just that soft pastelsweater kind, but real kindness.
Like, I'm gonna go eatsomething, even if it's just
another granola bar kind.
Or, I'm not going to beatmyself up for crying over

(05:17):
something small kind.
More like, um, it's okay if allI did today was breed kind.
You don't owe anyone yourhealing.
You don't need to turn yourpain into a productivity plan.
You just need to exist.
And if no one's told you today,I'm proud of you.

(05:38):
For being here.
For listening.
For trying.
Even when trying means justpressing play.
First, thank you again forlistening to the depression
episode.
Thank you for letting me be rawand real.
And thank you for taking careof yourself in whatever way you
know how.
I may not know you personally,but I know what it's like to

(06:03):
feel invisible.
And I hope this show remindsyou that you are seen, you are
valid, and you are enough.
If you need any links toresources, both in the U.S.
and international, they will bein the description.
Remember, it's okay to behuman.

(06:26):
Do what's best for you.
Rest, be gentle, and maybe giveyourself a little grace.
Tune in next time wheresomething new happens and it
won't be boring.
Bye for now.
Hey everyone, I have creditsnow! Neuropsi cy Black Girl is

(06:48):
written, created, produced, andedited by me, Alani Weeks.
This show is produced at BRICMedia Arts.
To learn more about thisnonprofit arts organization,
visit brickmediaarts.org.
That isB-R-I-C-M-E-D-I-A-A-R-T-S dot

(07:12):
org.