Hair Raising Tale | Neurospicy Black Girl

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Quick little episode because my creative juices were lowkey getting dehydrated. This is for the Neurospicy Black Girls with the curls: I see you, and you're valid.

June got more stuff coming!

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Music: https://pixabay.com/users/bodleasons-28047609/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=music&utm_content=223103

Intro Song: First Love is Never Forgotten

by Juno Waves

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DISCLAIMER: The information provided on this podcast is for general knowledge and informational purposes only, and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for any health concerns or before making any decisions related to your health.

Tags:
#neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurospicy #podcast #adhdpodcast #adhdproblems #neurospicyblackgirl #blackneurodivergent

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Let's talk about hair.
Hair is an important part ofyour appearance.
As a black woman, hair has bothcultural and historical
importance to each and every oneof us.
All of this to say, why is ithard for me to do it?
Let's continue to learn why onthis episode of Narrow Spicy
Black Girl.

(00:25):
Hi, I'm Milani.
I'm black, female, andneurodivergent, aka I lost the
genetic lottery.
The only thing I could do ispull myself up by my bootstraps
and live whatever life takes me.
If anyone deserves to profitfrom my trauma, it's me.
That's the life of a neuro spicyblack girl.

(00:55):
Welcome to Nero's Spicy BlackGirl, the only place where you
learn that a doll's hairbrushhas been the only type of
hairbrush that can handle myhair.
No, for real.
I'm Milani, and today we'regoing to talk about my hair.
Or at least the relationshipbetween it.
Well, you know how they say yourhair is a crown?
Well, parts of it have been onthe floor, collected dust under

(01:18):
my bed.
Because when I take my braidsout, and when I comb my hair, I
sometimes forget to clean it up.
Okay, jokes aside, depressionmakes it really hard to care
about how I look.
And I wish it was just aboutvanity, because that would be
easy to brush off.
But it's not.
As a black woman, I've beenraised to believe that how I

(01:38):
show up in the world, how neatmy edges are, how moisturized my
curls are, etc., determines howpeople treat me.
And when I'm in a depressiveepisode, that just feels like
pressure I can't live up to.
I talk about the kind of dayswhere even looking at my hair
feels overwhelming.

(01:58):
Like, I'll see the bonnet on thefloor, see the leave-in
conditioner on the shelf, knowexactly what steps I need to
take, and still not move.
My brain just goes, nope, toomany steps, try again tomorrow.
And then tomorrow becomes nextweek, and next week becomes, why
did I let it get this bad?

(02:20):
And don't get me started on thedetangling process.
The knots in my hair couldqualify as an escape room, and
I'm the only one who forgot theclues.
But it's not just laziness orbeing unmotivated.
Which, by the way, if one moreperson tells me to just push
through it, I might actuallypush them.
Depression slows downeverything.

(02:44):
It turns basic care tasks intothese giant mountains you have
to climb barefoot in the rainwith no snacks.
Haircare becomes emotional.
It feels tied to identity,worthiness, and visibility.
And when your brain alreadytells you you're not worth the
effort, trying to prove it wrongwith a twist out feels

(03:04):
impossible.
And if depression didn't alreadymake haircare hard enough, ADHD
had to pull up with its own setof chaos.
So, let's talk about the funlittle bonus round that is
executive dysfunction.
Because it's not just forgettingto do my hair, it's fully
attempting to.
Send a product out, put it on aYouTube tutorial, maybe even

(03:26):
partying my hair, only to getdistracted halfway through and
never finish.
Now I've got one sidemoisturized and the other side
looking like I just lost thefight with a brush.
My 4A curls are screaming forhelp, but my brain has already
moved on to reorganizing myemail inbox from 2009 for no
reason.

(03:47):
And then there's the timeblindness.
I will generally believe I cando a full wash day in 30
minutes, and then somehow beshocked when it's three hours
later and I'm still deepconditioning with a plastic bag
on my head, texting people like,Hey, sorry, Mr.
Function, I was doing my hair.
And yes, that's a real excuse.

(04:07):
And yes, I use it more thanonce.
ADHD also messes withconsistency.
Like, I'll start a new haircareroutine and be hyped for a week.
I'll write it down in a queueplanner, and I'll be like,
Sunday is wash day, self-coolingenergy, let's go.
Then week two hits, and I'malready winging it.
By week three, I've completelyforgotten what products I use,

(04:30):
what order I use them, or why Ieven cared in the first place.
And this is 4A hair we'retalking about.
She is not low-maintenance, sheneeds attention, moisture, love.
You skip a few steps andsuddenly you're in a detangled
getting, and there is no escape.

(04:51):
Sometimes I feel guilty, likeI'm neglecting my hair, like I
should be doing more.
But then I remember, this isn'tabout laziness or not caring.
This is about having a brainthat runs on a different
operating system.
And unfortunately, my OS isalways running too many times
and still buffering.

(05:40):
Alright, so now that we'vedragged depression and ADHD for
ruining our hair routines, let'sget into the part of the episode
where I actually try to helpyou, and myself, cope.
Every episode I give three tips,and this one's for my Narrow
Spicy folks just trying to keeptheir curls alive.
Tip number one, break hair intomicrosteps.

(06:03):
Washing, detangling, deepconditioning, styling, it's too
much.
So I stopped trying to do it allin one day.
If wash day feels overwhelming,I'll detangle one day, wash the
next, and style later.
If I get there.
The goal is maintenance, notperfection.

(06:24):
You don't need a 10-step routineto show up for your hair.
You just need one step at atime.
Tip number two, create a lazynatural hair kit.
I'm talking leave-inconditioner, Y2 comb, a spray
bottle of water, Maybe a softbrush.
Only one place ready to go.
When my executive dysfunctionkicks, I don't have to go

(06:46):
hunting for stuff.
I even keep it next to my bedsometimes.
Because, listen, if I'm going todo my hair, it's happening where
I am, not where I should be.
Tip number three.
Protective styles are yourfriend, not your failure.
There was a time I thought thatI had to be the twist-out queen
every week to earn my black girlbadge.

(07:07):
False.
Braids, wigs, puffs, and evenjust wearing a bonnet for a bit
longer are all valid.
I've learned that protecting myenergy is just as important as
protecting my ends.
Low maintenance doesn't mean youlove your hair less.
It just means you'reprioritizing sustainability over
struggle.
Thank you for listening totoday's episode.

(07:29):
This episode is dedicated to myfellow curly-headed, narrow,
spicy black girls.
Your struggles and your hair isamazing.
Don't let anyone tell youotherwise.
Links to support me are in thedescription.
Remember, it's okay to be human.
Remember, it's okay to be human.
Do what's best for you, andyou're here.
Tune in next time when somethingnew happens, and it definitely

(07:50):
won't be boring.
Bye! Hey everyone, I havecredits now! Narrow Spicy Black
Girl is written, created,produced, and edited by me,
Align Weeks.
This show is produced at BrickMedia Arts.
To learn more about thisnonprofit arts organization,
visit brickmediaarts.org.

(08:13):
That isB-R-I-C-M-E-B-I-A-A-R-T-S dot
org.