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Episode Transcript
Hi, I'm Milani.
I'm black, female, andneurodivergent, aka I lost the
genetic lottery.
The only thing I could do ispull myself up by my bootstraps
and live whatever life takes me.
(00:21):
No one deserves to profit frommy trauma, it's me.
That's the life of a neuro-spicyblack girl.
(00:44):
It's me, Alani, your favorite,overstimulated, slightly
unhinged, soft-spoken chaosagent on the internet.
I should probably changefavorite, um, more like
tolerated.
Anyway, today's episode is gonnabe another short, another chill,
(01:04):
super unserious.
I just wanna let my brain spiralout loud about what I've been
hyperfixating on lately.
And listen, what I've beenhyperfixating on lately is, or
should I say are, romance scamsand psychedelics.
(01:25):
So if you weren't already sureI'm neurodivergent, surprise!
Anyway, let's start with thefirst hyperfixation, romance
scams.
So how it started.
So this one, I would say likeprobably started at like 2 a.m.
I was on YouTube looking forsomething comforting, like cats
(01:47):
falling off furniture, orslow-living vlogs, or those
weird bouncing ball animations.
Instead, I fell into, I don'tknow how I did, but I fell into
this channel called Catfish, norelation to the MTV show
(02:09):
Catfish, that discusses romancescams.
It was the classic person fallsin love with a very
conventionally attractive maleor female, which turns out to be
a romance scammer from Nigeria.
(02:31):
And my brain was locked in.
But you're wondering, why is itso fascinating?
It's because it's the psychologyof it for me.
how these scammers are so goodat emotionally grooming people.
Based on what I see on theepisodes, they find someone
vulnerable, maybe they'relonely, recently divorced, going
(02:54):
through it, and they mirrortheir emotions like a dating
chameleon.
It's like digital love bombing.
Constant texting, calling youpet names like baby and queen,
which is the most popular one,And then slowly, the asks start.
(03:14):
Can you help me out?
It's just temporary.
And boom! You're broke andheartbroken.
The craziest part is that a lotof these people are...
I would say have averageintelligence.
Not naive.
Although, that depends.
(03:38):
And maybe just, I would say justhuman.
And humans, I would say for themost part, are deeply wired to
want connection.
Even if it's fake.
Me personally, I've watched somany scammer stories that now
when someone DMs me like, hibeautiful, my brain is like, are
(04:00):
you about to ask for my routingnumber?
I've started analyzing realconvos like, is this a red flag,
or am I just emotionallyunavailable?
Jury's still out.
Speaking of which, I almost fellfor a scam myself recently.
Somebody impersonated, or atleast tried to impersonate, my
(04:24):
styling boss.
So, as you may know, or if youhaven't already known, I'm a
video editor, and I work withthis client.
And this client, well, thescammer, sends me an email as
the client.
So, she was, or she, I don'tknow the gender of the scammer,
(04:45):
was saying, Hey Alani, I'mplanning to throw this party
celebration for my staff, and Iwant you to help me out.
Please reply to me so I can giveyou more details.
And at first I was a littlesuspicious, but Allison told me
(05:06):
to just reply, yeah, tell memore, so that way to confirm my
suspicions.
Because my boss had a different,well, boss, quote unquote, had a
different email that they wereemailing from.
So I was like, yeah, sure,answer boss name.
What you need me to help youwith?
(05:27):
And then they immediately said,can you go get some Sephora gift
cards?
And I'm just sitting here like,girl, you're wealthy.
Why would you need me to buy yougift cards?
So I pretty much blocked her.
Or them.
(05:47):
Whatever, the scammer.
But yeah, damn, these scammersare getting better.
I think it's the first timewhere somebody, usually I would
get the classic Bitcoin scammersor the car warranty type of
scammers, but now they'reimpersonating real life people.
(06:08):
Honestly, both impressive, butkind of scary.
So people, make sure to look atyour emails carefully.
Anyway, after a week ofconsuming scammer content like
it was a Netflix original, mybrain said, you know what we
need next?
Psychedelics.
(06:29):
So, let's talk about that.
So, my order of hyperfixation ispsychedelics.
So, here's how it started.
This one started way moreinnocently.
I was listening to a podcast, orI think it was a YouTube video,
(06:51):
really, and it mentioned howmicrodosing mushrooms to treat
ADHD and depression.
And I was like, go on.
So I started researching it likeit was my job.
Red threads, podcasts, TikToks,reading studies I had no
business understanding.
(07:12):
There's also a botanicaldispensary.
That is like 20 minutes fromwhere I am that sells the legal
stuff.
Or at least like the naturallegal stuff.
So I even got more curious aboutit.
So what's interesting about itfor me is that there's something
(07:33):
about the way psychedelicsaffect perception that
fascinates me.
Like you can literally changehow your brain processes the
world.
Colors, sounds, even yourself.
And it's not just a druggystereotype either.
People are exploring it forhealing trauma, breaking out of
(07:54):
depressive loops, rewiring toxicthought patterns.
And as someone who isneurodivergent, the idea of
escaping the constant noise inmy head, or at least remixing
it, is intriguing.
Sometimes I think, What if Icould take one shroom and
suddenly know how to respond toemails?
(08:16):
What if I could reorganize mydesktop files and my childhood
wounds in one trip?
Also, psychedelics aren't new.
Indigenous cultures have beenusing plant medicine for
centuries.
Now it's just been rebranded bytech bros in Silicon Valley as
the next productivity hack.
(08:38):
Now, in a disclaimer...
For the record, I'm not sayingy'all should go out and eat
mushrooms from your neighbor'sgarden.
I would say choose, do yourresearch wisely.
But I do think it's cool thatwe're finally talking about
mental health, trauma, and brainin new ways.
(08:58):
And as you know me, I love tolearn and I will continue to
explore and learn.
So yeah.
This week, my brain has beenbouncing between Nigerian print
scams and psychedelic mushroomslike it's perfectly normal.
And honestly, for me, it is.
I think both thesehyperfixations say something
about being human.
(09:19):
Whether it's getting scammed forlove, or trying to feel
something beyond burnout, orI'll try to escape something.
Or feel more connected.
Or more alive.
Or maybe I just need to get offYouTube after 10pm.
So, if your brain's also beenhyperfixing on something random
(09:40):
lately, comment below.
Tell me about what your rabbitholes have been.
Both points if it's weirder thanmine.
If you like this episode, followor subscribe wherever you're
listening.
All the ways you can support meare in the description below.
It helps other NeuroSpicy peoplefind us, and it gives my ego
(10:01):
just enough dopamine to recordnext week.
Remember, it's okay to be human.
Do what feels best for you.
Tune in next time wheresomething new happens and it
definitely won't be boring.
Alright, bye y'all! Heyeveryone, I have credits now!
(10:23):
Narrow Spicy Black Girl iswritten, created, produced, and
edited by me, Align Weeks.
This show is produced at BrickMedia Arts.
To learn more about thisnonprofit arts organization,
visit brickmediaarts.org.
That is B-R-I-C-M-E-D-I-A-R-T-Sdot org.
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