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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Love host radio.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Hello and welcome to New Heights Educational Group radio show.
My name is Kaden Bhan, your host and a volunteer
for New Heights. Before we begin our radio show for today,
I have to announce some upcoming events Recognition Day, Poor
Party and potluck Argelize six starting at four pm. Oh
so that already passed. Sorry. Graduation day is August third,
(01:06):
from eleven thirty to twelve thirty pm. The ceremony deadline
to RSVP for homeschool and charter school families is June third.
Conduct us directly if you would like to participate. You
can contact us at New Heights at New Heights Education
at yahoo dot com or four nine seven eight six
here two four seven. Volunteers are also needed for this
(01:31):
event as well, and you can contact us if you
would like to help out. Today's topic is the emotional
health and well being of children and teens, specifically designed
for parents who maybe our new parents or have very
young children, who are trying to best raise their children
and provide a stable emotional environment and raise their children
(01:55):
to be emotionally healthy adults and teenagers as well. So
I just want to start by going through kind of
a little bit of the topic of what changes you
should expect for cifically young children. I have a lot
on I've done a lot of research on teenage depression
(02:16):
and suicide, and that's one of the major topics that
I want to try to cover today. However, if we
do run it out of time, I definitely don't want
a rush. I think that the topic deserves a grain
about of dedication and time. So if we run out
of time, I'll definitely cover that next next show, which
will be June fifteenth. So I got this information from
(02:42):
PBS dot org on the information of how to raise
young children and what to expect in their emotional development
and their behaviors and how to react to these behaviors
and to the best of your ability, and takes a
lot of patients combined with good judgment and warm nurturing
relationships to raise emotionally healthy children. But no matter what
(03:04):
we do, children are going to feel sad, afraid, anxious,
and angry from time to time. In this unit, our
challenges to learn how to help children cope with their
feelings and express them in socially acceptable ways that don't
harm others and are appropriate for the child's age and abilities.
The first topic for a discussion is Erickson's stages of
(03:25):
emotional development. Teachers can foster mental health and young children
by providing many opportunities for healthy emotional attitudes to develop.
Doctor Eric Erickson has made a significant contribution to our
understanding of these basic attitudes. He believes that during the
life span a person passes through a series of stages
of emotional development. When basic attitudes are formed, three of
(03:48):
these stages are passed through in early childhood. These stages
include trusts verse mistrusts, autonomy versus shame and doubt, and
initiative versus guilt. Of trust verse mistrust, the baby learns
that other people can be depended on and that she
or he can depend on herself or himself. This development
(04:10):
of trust is deeply related to the quality of care.
It is vital that the basic climate of the center
encourages the establishment of trust between everyone who is part
of that community. In our society, the attitudes of autonomy
versus shame and doubt are formed during the same period
in which toilet training takes place. This fundamental exercise in
(04:31):
self assertion and control is associated with the child's strive
to become independent and to express this independence by making
choices and decisions. Erickson says that children who are deprived
of the opportunity to establish independence and autonomy may become
oppressed with feelings of shame and self doubt, which will
later result in losing self esteem and being defiant. The
(04:56):
desirable way to handle this strong need for choice and
self assertion is to provide an environment at home and
the school that makes many opportunities available for the child
to do for herself and himself and make decisions. In
a stage of initiative versus guilt around the age of
four or five, the child becomes more interested in reaching
out to the world around him or her, doing things,
(05:18):
and being part of the group. As his stage, children
want to think up things and try them out. They're
interested in the effect of their actions and how their
actions affect other people. They formulate concept of appropriate sexuals,
they enjoy imaginative imaginative play, and they become avid seekers
of information about the world around them. To feel emotionally satisfied,
(05:41):
a child of this age must be allowed to explore,
to act, and to do the next topic of discussion
is choices and limits. It takes a lot of patience
to maintain limits when necessary and independence when that's possible.
Is a balancing act of avoiding confrontations when you can
and insisting on doing things your way necessary and giving
(06:01):
the child as many choices as possible. We just have
to remind ourselves that this drive towards independence and self
assertion is an important stage of emotional development. There are
many choices that can be offered, but remember these are
limited choices. Do you want to put on the sweater,
but instead which sweater? Do you want to have a snack,
but instead where do you want to sit for the snack?
(06:25):
This way, self selection of activities is such a valuable
part of the preschool day. When children are expected to
choose for themselves what they want to do, they have
endless opportunities for decision making. What happens when we create
an climate that maximizes, that minimizes, or takes away the
chance for children to make decisions. In a spirited child,
(06:46):
this can lead to struggle after struggle, and less spirited ones.
It can produce feelings of inadequacy and loss of self confidence.
By allowing children to make their own choices and decisions
and be responsible for their own outcomes, we are setting
the frame look for strong, emotionally healthy lives, but not
everything is a choice. Sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes
(07:07):
we have to wait for what we want, and sometimes
we don't ever get what we want. Learning how to
cope with disappointments, delays, and setbacks is also critical is
also a critical part of development of a healthy, balanced
mental attitude. By reducing the level and frequency of disappointments
and frustrations can help avoid unnecessary battles. However, the next
(07:31):
topic is feel what you want, control what you do.
One of the most valuable skills we can teach our
children is how to express strong emotions without hurting themselves, others,
or damaging property we want our children to learn. What
we want our children to learn is feel what you want,
but control what you do. Begin by communicating with a
(07:51):
child in a non judgmental way, showing her or him
that you understand how they feel. Perhaps she's angry or
sad because someone won't let her play, or perhaps she
wants to do something so badly she can't wait another
minute for it. Whatever the cause, the first thing to
do is to put on twit those feelings into words
for her. Encourage the child to say the feelings out loud,
(08:12):
and then tell the other person how she feels. If
the child's too young or inexperienced to know what to say,
model is simple sentence for her to copy. Finally, do
whatever else is necessary to resolve the situation. Of course,
adults booth the temper and must learn to control their anger.
The important thing to remember is that the same rule applies.
(08:33):
Feel what you want, but control what you do. You
can't hold children by denying your upset or angry or frightened.
It's better to simply admit it as calmly as possible.
Harmock's hallmarks of emotional health. Now let's look at some
signs of emotional health and children. First of all, is
the child's working on emotional tasks that are appropriate for
(08:56):
his age or ability. For example, if he's two and
a half, is here inserting himself from time to time?
Is a child able to separate her family without separate
from her family without undue stress, and form an attachment
with at least one other adult at school. Of course,
comfortable separation doesn't happen overnight, and it tends to be
harder for younger children or children who are developmentally delayed.
(09:21):
Another question to ask is is a child learning to
conform to routines at school without undue fuss? Keep in
mind a certain amount of testing, mostly by four year olds,
and bulkiness, mostly by two year olds, is to be expected.
Is a child able to involve himself or herself into play?
Play is not only the work of children, it is
(09:43):
the greatest health promoter and vehicle for learning that's available
to them. Can the child settle down and concentrate. Being
able to focus attention on something that interests that interests
a younger child is an indicator that he or she
is capable of learning. Finally, does a child have access
to the full range of her feelings and is she
(10:05):
learning to deal with them and an age appropriate way.
This is one of the most important indicators of emotional
health because when the child is aware of all her
feelings and can express them without harming herself or others,
that child is developing an emotionally healthy and emotionally healthy way.
When children seem to have special difficulties, we need to
(10:26):
remember we don't have to solve every emotional problem by ourselves.
When feeling puzzled, get some help, talk to colleagues, or
to outside professionals and get the family involved making certainly
realize you aren't blaming them for the child's difficulties. So
this again I got off of a PBS dot org
and I thought it was just a great introductory introduction
(10:48):
to what we're talking about today with emotional health and
kind of how to best raise your children to be
emotionally healthy adults and teenagers. This information, just to sum up,
was how to kind of what to expect by children
from ages of you know, around two to four or five.
(11:12):
This is definitely one of the areas of growth in
which there are defining factors that were talked about such
as trust forth mistrust, autonomy versus shame and doubt, and
initiative versus guilt that can kind of guide parents to
(11:34):
to either make corrections to their parenting in order to
have the positive outcomes of these different different stages such
as trust, autonomy, initiative instead of mistrust, shame and doubt
and guilt, or to continue parenting the way they are
so they they see that the way that their parenting
(11:54):
is promoting these these habits, these healthy habits and children. Additionally,
I wanted to talk about more of what parents and
families can do to increase the emotional stapability of their
children and to just provide a great emotional environment for
children to feel safe and secure, to feel loved, and
(12:16):
to just grow without any sort of limitation. So I
researched some information on this at emotionally Healthy Children dot
Org is a very interesting website and I do strongly
recommend it for parents who are interested in the emotional
health of their children. It offers a lot of great
information on how to better the emotional health of your
(12:38):
children if you're interested. So I'm going to talk a
little bit about family life, and the first topic is
a sense of community. Ideally, families would function as a
team in the best tradition of the world. Very excuse me.
Ideally families would function as a team in the best
(12:58):
tradition of the word. And as in team effort, everyone
pulls together for the good of the whole. Team play
or collect a play with mutual assistance of the members,
teamwork several associates doing a part, subordinating personal prominence to
the efficiency of the whole. In practice, however, some families
seem closer to another definition, and the definition of team
(13:23):
as two or more draft animals harness to the same vehicle.
John Gardner, former US Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare,
once said the problem with many of our cities is
that they are encampments of strangers and not communities. This
is also a problem with many families. Too often, in
our modern, complex, facts moving, high tech societies, families do
(13:44):
not always develop a sense of a community. The children
get lost in the rush. To create the sense of community,
family members need to be involved with one another and
do things together. Families that do things together create a
camaraderie cohesion. Families that do things together that are fun
and interesting create a positive atmosphere. Families that do things
(14:05):
together that encourage members to think, ask questions, and express
themselves become learning communities. Families that do things together on
a regular basis create traditions. Families that create traditions develop
a strong sense of community, displaying mutual respect, caring, and support.
The children of families with a strong sense of community
are more resistant to outside negative influences, more likely to
(14:28):
be influenced by positive role models within the family, and
to become emotionally healthy citizens at home, in school, and
within society at large. Core values the strength of the
family emanates from parents and the convictions. If there is
no coherent philosophy, strategy, or approach to child child rearing,
(14:51):
and if values are not clear, parent behavior is usually
inconsistent and confusing. It behooves parents to define themse values
for themselves and to emphasize them in the family through
words and action. If we think of family values as
values shared by all members of the family, it becomes
something very much worth striving for. Adopting five critical needs
(15:14):
as an integral component of a family's core value provides
a valuable framework to guide parents' interactions with their children
and to evaluate their parenting effectiveness. Additionally, it does much more.
As parents treat each other in ways that satisfy the
five needs, they become role models for the kids on
how to act in a loving way. Further, as parents
(15:35):
communicate to children that they have the same needs and
express positive feelings about the children's behavior that satisfy these needs,
they begin to become true family values. Children are stimulated
to start thinking not only about what's being done and
not done to for and with them, but also about
how their behavior impacts others. Since the five needs are
(15:59):
relevant to all interaction, among the individuals. Opportunities to imply
them in everyday life are constant. Thus, with practice, the
children's and parents understanding, appreciation, and use of the concepts
are certain to grow. Children can learn about the power
of their behavior to impact each other and their parents,
(16:20):
and also relatives, friends, teachers, acquaintances, and almost anyone whom
they've had to contact. This helps strengthen a sense of
community among family members and also gives children a larger
view of community as a whole. Family meetings. The purpose
of family meetings is to establish a concept of family
as a learning community in which mutual respect and cooperation
(16:43):
are necessary for all family members to lead happy health
they use secure lives. This concept contributes to satisfying the
emotional needs of all family members and learning the valuable
skills in communication, problem solving, and decision making. It is
part of the ongoing process in which children participate actively
in their own evolution on their way to becoming thinking,
(17:07):
self confident, independent, responsible, caring, and civic minded adults. Approach
to family meetings. Family meetings is a major activity for
parents and children to assess how well they are doing individually,
individually and collectively, and to decide on ways to make
things better. Through sharing feelings, information, and experiences, a sense
(17:30):
of community is created. The types of family meetings goal
oriented meetings. They can be periodic as needed, and this
is where the family attempts to achieve consensus. For example,
Number one, to identify and assign family responsibilities or tasks.
This can be established in an example such as a
(17:51):
chore list. Number two, Establish family rules. Number three Problem
solving identify and solve specific problems. Number four. Decision making.
I identify need, the need for and making decisions. Number
five planning to plan a family project, activity, or event.
(18:11):
Another type of meeting is a feedback session regularly scheduled
usually one times per week, and it's ongoing open ended
interactions among all family members as an outlet for expression
of feelings, concerns, frustrations, appreciations, and joy in a safe,
non threatening atmosphere of open communication. Members can address the
(18:32):
question what do we see in each other ourselves doing
that is helping or hindering us to lead happy, healthy lives.
In answer to this question, items three and four below
become the core activity of each session. Item one one
highlight or low light of my week was and then
(18:53):
the family member will go on to say what that
was Number two. One thing I did this week that
I didn't like was and one thing that I liked
was Number three. Feedback is addressed to a specific, specific person.
This would be an example of something you did that
affected me or the family positively or negatively, or about
which I have a question or concern. Number four. Something
(19:17):
that is going on in my life that causes me
concerns your enjoy is number five. Something that bothers me
or that I enjoy about our family life is number six.
A closing activity, each member says one positive thing about
each family member at the end of each meeting or
periodically as desired. Next topic is family as a learning community.
(19:45):
As parents and children become better students of their own behavior,
they are able to help one another recognize when they
are relating in emotionally healthy or unhealthy ways. This is
the beginning of family as a learning community as such
is no longer business as usual, with parents as paragons
of knowledge and virtue to be passed on to their
(20:06):
kids so that they can become just like their moms
and dads. It recognizes that adults are not finished products,
but rather adults in training. Imperfect, valuable human beings. Family
members understand that all of them need to learn how
to become better persons, and that this learning can occur
as a family, children from parents, parents from children, and
(20:28):
all together. As part of this process, parents should consider
having their teenagers and where appropriate, preteens too, consider these
Consider these options as presented in this article situation by
situation and game plan by game plans, and apply it
(20:50):
to their daily lives. Such a discussion with its accompanying
personal sharing, because further, they're getting to know one another
better as people and not just as roles as mother, father,
and child. So this was quite an interesting article that
I found at emotionally Healthy children dot org. On the
(21:11):
website that there's a book available on how to raise
emotionally healthy children, and I think it's definitely worth checking
out if you're interested. This is just an excerpt from
that book with some advice on how to create a
sense of community within the family. And I think that
(21:32):
a lot of the suggestions such as having a family meeting,
doing activities together, and especially what I found really important
not only from this article, but I've applied in my
personal life is not letting the roles of the families,
(21:53):
such as the roles of the parents become the stereotypes
as being be all knowing, incapable of making mistakes or
incapable of admitting those mistakes to the children, and the
stereotype of the children being not necessarily always in the wrong,
but always inexperienced and not able to contribute to the
(22:16):
family in the same way that the parents are. I
found that when children and parents work together to solve
issues within the family and share opinions about different family
conflicts or family projects, or different things that have happened
in the family life, that it really creates an environment
(22:38):
in which both children and adults feel heard and respected.
And I personally believe from my experience that it's helped
truly connect parents to their children. I think that it
enables children to get a more wholesome view of the
(23:00):
parents and to understand that their parents are not perfect,
and to understand the reasons why they're not perfect. And
I think this creates more of the ability to forgive
your parents for being imperfect, because they're no longer the
all perfect, can never make a mistake, ideological figure in
(23:22):
the family anymore. Instead, they're human beings like the child
himself or herself and they can more easily relate to
the way the parent feels. And I think it just
makes for better community communication as a whole between parents
and children and solves a lot of conflicts. It solves
a lot of issues with children feeling unheard or oppressed
(23:47):
by their parents, and then that can cause issues later
down the line with children not feeling like they can
trust their parents or that their parents can understand them,
or resenting their parents. So I think that this site,
emotionally Healthy Children dot org is definitely worth looking into,
and it's great information is and advice on how to
(24:11):
create a more respectful, loving and just open family life
with uh with children and adults, and helps solve a
lot of conflicts that I know that a lot of
families go through that I think would benefit a lot
from the things suggested in this article that I read.
So we have a little bit of time left, but
(24:31):
I don't want to go into the full topic of
teenage depressions and suicide, but I'm going to just read
a little bit about it as an introduction and we'll
pick up on it next week. This is this information
is from Kids Health dot org. The tragedy of a
young person dying because of overwhelming helplessness or frustration is
(24:55):
devastating to family, friends and community. Parents, siblings, kind of coaches,
and neighbors might be left wondering if they could have
done something to prevent that young person from turning to suicide.
Learning more about the factors that might lead to adolescent
suicide may help prevent further tragedies. Even though it's not
always preventable, it's always a good idea to be informed
(25:18):
and take action to help a troubled teenager. Little information
about teens suicide. The reasons behind a teen's suicide or
attempted suicide can be complex. Although suicide is relatively rare
among children, the rate of suicides and suicide attempts increases
tremendously during adolescence. This was one of the reasons why
(25:41):
I wanted to discuss this, especially due to this next
factor that suicide is the third leading cause of death
in adolescents and young adults from fifteen to twenty four,
and that's a huge, huge percentage of people of this
(26:01):
age dying because of suicide. So it's definitely something that
I really wanted to give my attention to and to
talk about If that means that we don't get through
everything today, that's perfectly fine. But I definitely want to
dedicate even a whole show on this because it is
so important. It is such an issue among young adults
(26:24):
during this age. I'm just gonna read this a tiny
bit more, and then I'll read this sum again at
the introduction of the next show. As I said, suicide
is a third they being caused a death from fifteen
to twenty year olds, according to the Centers for Disease
Control and Prevention After Accidents and Homicide. It's also thought
(26:45):
that at least twenty five attempts are made for every
completed teen suicide. There's good suicide increases dramatically when kids
and teens have access to fire arms at home, and
nearly sixty percent of all suicides in the United States
are committed with a gun. That's why with any gun
in your home should beloaded, locked, and kept out of
(27:05):
reach of children and teens. Overdose using over the counter,
prescription and non prescription medication is also very common. It's
also very common method for both attempting and completing suicide.
It's important to monitor carefully all medications in your home.
Also be aware that teens will trade different prescription medications
at school and carry them or store them in their
(27:27):
locker or backpack. Suicide rates differ between boys and girls.
Girls think about and attempt suicide about twice as often
as boys intend to attempt suicide by overdosing on drugs
or cutting themselves. Yet boys die by suicide about four
times as often as girls, perhaps because they tend to
(27:48):
use more lethal methods such as firearms, hanging, or jumping
from heights. The article continues more, but as you can see,
it's a very unfortunately upsetting topic, but it is one that,
as I said, because it's such the high number of
teenagers and young adults in the age and fifteen the
twenty four die because of suicide or attempted suicide, it
(28:11):
is definitely something that I think is important for parents
to learn about and to consider so that as their
children are growing up, or if they have children in
those age rains, they can better be able to spot
the I guess, and to hopefully help diminish the overwhelming
(28:36):
statistic of people around this age that die from suicide.
So again, thank you for listening. I hope that this
has been very informational for parents and children as you
are listening, and I hope to continue this next week
and I hope that you will also tune in for
(28:57):
the show. I think it's very important.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
And Kay, you raised me up so I stand on them.
(29:20):
You raise me to walk constody time from when I
am on your shawl. Raised me.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Too hard and I can be.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
You raise me sad on the bad, You raise who
do come. So many things
Speaker 1 (30:06):
I can
Love host radio.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Hello and welcome to New Heights Educational Group radio show.
My name is Kaden Bhan, your host and a volunteer
for New Heights. Before we begin our radio show for today,
I have to announce some upcoming events Recognition Day, Poor
Party and potluck Argelize six starting at four pm. Oh
so that already passed. Sorry. Graduation day is August third,
(01:06):
from eleven thirty to twelve thirty pm. The ceremony deadline
to RSVP for homeschool and charter school families is June third.
Conduct us directly if you would like to participate. You
can contact us at New Heights at New Heights Education
at yahoo dot com or four nine seven eight six
here two four seven. Volunteers are also needed for this
(01:31):
event as well, and you can contact us if you
would like to help out. Today's topic is the emotional
health and well being of children and teens, specifically designed
for parents who maybe our new parents or have very
young children, who are trying to best raise their children
and provide a stable emotional environment and raise their children
(01:55):
to be emotionally healthy adults and teenagers as well. So
I just want to start by going through kind of
a little bit of the topic of what changes you
should expect for cifically young children. I have a lot
on I've done a lot of research on teenage depression
(02:16):
and suicide, and that's one of the major topics that
I want to try to cover today. However, if we
do run it out of time, I definitely don't want
a rush. I think that the topic deserves a grain
about of dedication and time. So if we run out
of time, I'll definitely cover that next next show, which
will be June fifteenth. So I got this information from
(02:42):
PBS dot org on the information of how to raise
young children and what to expect in their emotional development
and their behaviors and how to react to these behaviors
and to the best of your ability, and takes a
lot of patients combined with good judgment and warm nurturing
relationships to raise emotionally healthy children. But no matter what
(03:04):
we do, children are going to feel sad, afraid, anxious,
and angry from time to time. In this unit, our
challenges to learn how to help children cope with their
feelings and express them in socially acceptable ways that don't
harm others and are appropriate for the child's age and abilities.
The first topic for a discussion is Erickson's stages of
(03:25):
emotional development. Teachers can foster mental health and young children
by providing many opportunities for healthy emotional attitudes to develop.
Doctor Eric Erickson has made a significant contribution to our
understanding of these basic attitudes. He believes that during the
life span a person passes through a series of stages
of emotional development. When basic attitudes are formed, three of
(03:48):
these stages are passed through in early childhood. These stages
include trusts verse mistrusts, autonomy versus shame and doubt, and
initiative versus guilt. Of trust verse mistrust, the baby learns
that other people can be depended on and that she
or he can depend on herself or himself. This development
(04:10):
of trust is deeply related to the quality of care.
It is vital that the basic climate of the center
encourages the establishment of trust between everyone who is part
of that community. In our society, the attitudes of autonomy
versus shame and doubt are formed during the same period
in which toilet training takes place. This fundamental exercise in
(04:31):
self assertion and control is associated with the child's strive
to become independent and to express this independence by making
choices and decisions. Erickson says that children who are deprived
of the opportunity to establish independence and autonomy may become
oppressed with feelings of shame and self doubt, which will
later result in losing self esteem and being defiant. The
(04:56):
desirable way to handle this strong need for choice and
self assertion is to provide an environment at home and
the school that makes many opportunities available for the child
to do for herself and himself and make decisions. In
a stage of initiative versus guilt around the age of
four or five, the child becomes more interested in reaching
out to the world around him or her, doing things,
(05:18):
and being part of the group. As his stage, children
want to think up things and try them out. They're
interested in the effect of their actions and how their
actions affect other people. They formulate concept of appropriate sexuals,
they enjoy imaginative imaginative play, and they become avid seekers
of information about the world around them. To feel emotionally satisfied,
(05:41):
a child of this age must be allowed to explore,
to act, and to do the next topic of discussion
is choices and limits. It takes a lot of patience
to maintain limits when necessary and independence when that's possible.
Is a balancing act of avoiding confrontations when you can
and insisting on doing things your way necessary and giving
(06:01):
the child as many choices as possible. We just have
to remind ourselves that this drive towards independence and self
assertion is an important stage of emotional development. There are
many choices that can be offered, but remember these are
limited choices. Do you want to put on the sweater,
but instead which sweater? Do you want to have a snack,
but instead where do you want to sit for the snack?
(06:25):
This way, self selection of activities is such a valuable
part of the preschool day. When children are expected to
choose for themselves what they want to do, they have
endless opportunities for decision making. What happens when we create
an climate that maximizes, that minimizes, or takes away the
chance for children to make decisions. In a spirited child,
(06:46):
this can lead to struggle after struggle, and less spirited ones.
It can produce feelings of inadequacy and loss of self confidence.
By allowing children to make their own choices and decisions
and be responsible for their own outcomes, we are setting
the frame look for strong, emotionally healthy lives, but not
everything is a choice. Sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes
(07:07):
we have to wait for what we want, and sometimes
we don't ever get what we want. Learning how to
cope with disappointments, delays, and setbacks is also critical is
also a critical part of development of a healthy, balanced
mental attitude. By reducing the level and frequency of disappointments
and frustrations can help avoid unnecessary battles. However, the next
(07:31):
topic is feel what you want, control what you do.
One of the most valuable skills we can teach our
children is how to express strong emotions without hurting themselves, others,
or damaging property we want our children to learn. What
we want our children to learn is feel what you want,
but control what you do. Begin by communicating with a
(07:51):
child in a non judgmental way, showing her or him
that you understand how they feel. Perhaps she's angry or
sad because someone won't let her play, or perhaps she
wants to do something so badly she can't wait another
minute for it. Whatever the cause, the first thing to
do is to put on twit those feelings into words
for her. Encourage the child to say the feelings out loud,
(08:12):
and then tell the other person how she feels. If
the child's too young or inexperienced to know what to say,
model is simple sentence for her to copy. Finally, do
whatever else is necessary to resolve the situation. Of course,
adults booth the temper and must learn to control their anger.
The important thing to remember is that the same rule applies.
(08:33):
Feel what you want, but control what you do. You
can't hold children by denying your upset or angry or frightened.
It's better to simply admit it as calmly as possible.
Harmock's hallmarks of emotional health. Now let's look at some
signs of emotional health and children. First of all, is
the child's working on emotional tasks that are appropriate for
(08:56):
his age or ability. For example, if he's two and
a half, is here inserting himself from time to time?
Is a child able to separate her family without separate
from her family without undue stress, and form an attachment
with at least one other adult at school. Of course,
comfortable separation doesn't happen overnight, and it tends to be
harder for younger children or children who are developmentally delayed.
(09:21):
Another question to ask is is a child learning to
conform to routines at school without undue fuss? Keep in
mind a certain amount of testing, mostly by four year olds,
and bulkiness, mostly by two year olds, is to be expected.
Is a child able to involve himself or herself into play?
Play is not only the work of children, it is
(09:43):
the greatest health promoter and vehicle for learning that's available
to them. Can the child settle down and concentrate. Being
able to focus attention on something that interests that interests
a younger child is an indicator that he or she
is capable of learning. Finally, does a child have access
to the full range of her feelings and is she
(10:05):
learning to deal with them and an age appropriate way.
This is one of the most important indicators of emotional
health because when the child is aware of all her
feelings and can express them without harming herself or others,
that child is developing an emotionally healthy and emotionally healthy way.
When children seem to have special difficulties, we need to
(10:26):
remember we don't have to solve every emotional problem by ourselves.
When feeling puzzled, get some help, talk to colleagues, or
to outside professionals and get the family involved making certainly
realize you aren't blaming them for the child's difficulties. So
this again I got off of a PBS dot org
and I thought it was just a great introductory introduction
(10:48):
to what we're talking about today with emotional health and
kind of how to best raise your children to be
emotionally healthy adults and teenagers. This information, just to sum up,
was how to kind of what to expect by children
from ages of you know, around two to four or five.
(11:12):
This is definitely one of the areas of growth in
which there are defining factors that were talked about such
as trust forth mistrust, autonomy versus shame and doubt, and
initiative versus guilt that can kind of guide parents to
(11:34):
to either make corrections to their parenting in order to
have the positive outcomes of these different different stages such
as trust, autonomy, initiative instead of mistrust, shame and doubt
and guilt, or to continue parenting the way they are
so they they see that the way that their parenting
(11:54):
is promoting these these habits, these healthy habits and children. Additionally,
I wanted to talk about more of what parents and
families can do to increase the emotional stapability of their
children and to just provide a great emotional environment for
children to feel safe and secure, to feel loved, and
(12:16):
to just grow without any sort of limitation. So I
researched some information on this at emotionally Healthy Children dot
Org is a very interesting website and I do strongly
recommend it for parents who are interested in the emotional
health of their children. It offers a lot of great
information on how to better the emotional health of your
(12:38):
children if you're interested. So I'm going to talk a
little bit about family life, and the first topic is
a sense of community. Ideally, families would function as a
team in the best tradition of the world. Very excuse me.
Ideally families would function as a team in the best
(12:58):
tradition of the word. And as in team effort, everyone
pulls together for the good of the whole. Team play
or collect a play with mutual assistance of the members,
teamwork several associates doing a part, subordinating personal prominence to
the efficiency of the whole. In practice, however, some families
seem closer to another definition, and the definition of team
(13:23):
as two or more draft animals harness to the same vehicle.
John Gardner, former US Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare,
once said the problem with many of our cities is
that they are encampments of strangers and not communities. This
is also a problem with many families. Too often, in
our modern, complex, facts moving, high tech societies, families do
(13:44):
not always develop a sense of a community. The children
get lost in the rush. To create the sense of community,
family members need to be involved with one another and
do things together. Families that do things together create a
camaraderie cohesion. Families that do things together that are fun
and interesting create a positive atmosphere. Families that do things
(14:05):
together that encourage members to think, ask questions, and express
themselves become learning communities. Families that do things together on
a regular basis create traditions. Families that create traditions develop
a strong sense of community, displaying mutual respect, caring, and support.
The children of families with a strong sense of community
are more resistant to outside negative influences, more likely to
(14:28):
be influenced by positive role models within the family, and
to become emotionally healthy citizens at home, in school, and
within society at large. Core values the strength of the
family emanates from parents and the convictions. If there is
no coherent philosophy, strategy, or approach to child child rearing,
(14:51):
and if values are not clear, parent behavior is usually
inconsistent and confusing. It behooves parents to define themse values
for themselves and to emphasize them in the family through
words and action. If we think of family values as
values shared by all members of the family, it becomes
something very much worth striving for. Adopting five critical needs
(15:14):
as an integral component of a family's core value provides
a valuable framework to guide parents' interactions with their children
and to evaluate their parenting effectiveness. Additionally, it does much more.
As parents treat each other in ways that satisfy the
five needs, they become role models for the kids on
how to act in a loving way. Further, as parents
(15:35):
communicate to children that they have the same needs and
express positive feelings about the children's behavior that satisfy these needs,
they begin to become true family values. Children are stimulated
to start thinking not only about what's being done and
not done to for and with them, but also about
how their behavior impacts others. Since the five needs are
(15:59):
relevant to all interaction, among the individuals. Opportunities to imply
them in everyday life are constant. Thus, with practice, the
children's and parents understanding, appreciation, and use of the concepts
are certain to grow. Children can learn about the power
of their behavior to impact each other and their parents,
(16:20):
and also relatives, friends, teachers, acquaintances, and almost anyone whom
they've had to contact. This helps strengthen a sense of
community among family members and also gives children a larger
view of community as a whole. Family meetings. The purpose
of family meetings is to establish a concept of family
as a learning community in which mutual respect and cooperation
(16:43):
are necessary for all family members to lead happy health
they use secure lives. This concept contributes to satisfying the
emotional needs of all family members and learning the valuable
skills in communication, problem solving, and decision making. It is
part of the ongoing process in which children participate actively
in their own evolution on their way to becoming thinking,
(17:07):
self confident, independent, responsible, caring, and civic minded adults. Approach
to family meetings. Family meetings is a major activity for
parents and children to assess how well they are doing individually,
individually and collectively, and to decide on ways to make
things better. Through sharing feelings, information, and experiences, a sense
(17:30):
of community is created. The types of family meetings goal
oriented meetings. They can be periodic as needed, and this
is where the family attempts to achieve consensus. For example,
Number one, to identify and assign family responsibilities or tasks.
This can be established in an example such as a
(17:51):
chore list. Number two, Establish family rules. Number three Problem
solving identify and solve specific problems. Number four. Decision making.
I identify need, the need for and making decisions. Number
five planning to plan a family project, activity, or event.
(18:11):
Another type of meeting is a feedback session regularly scheduled
usually one times per week, and it's ongoing open ended
interactions among all family members as an outlet for expression
of feelings, concerns, frustrations, appreciations, and joy in a safe,
non threatening atmosphere of open communication. Members can address the
(18:32):
question what do we see in each other ourselves doing
that is helping or hindering us to lead happy, healthy lives.
In answer to this question, items three and four below
become the core activity of each session. Item one one
highlight or low light of my week was and then
(18:53):
the family member will go on to say what that
was Number two. One thing I did this week that
I didn't like was and one thing that I liked
was Number three. Feedback is addressed to a specific, specific person.
This would be an example of something you did that
affected me or the family positively or negatively, or about
which I have a question or concern. Number four. Something
(19:17):
that is going on in my life that causes me
concerns your enjoy is number five. Something that bothers me
or that I enjoy about our family life is number six.
A closing activity, each member says one positive thing about
each family member at the end of each meeting or
periodically as desired. Next topic is family as a learning community.
(19:45):
As parents and children become better students of their own behavior,
they are able to help one another recognize when they
are relating in emotionally healthy or unhealthy ways. This is
the beginning of family as a learning community as such
is no longer business as usual, with parents as paragons
of knowledge and virtue to be passed on to their
(20:06):
kids so that they can become just like their moms
and dads. It recognizes that adults are not finished products,
but rather adults in training. Imperfect, valuable human beings. Family
members understand that all of them need to learn how
to become better persons, and that this learning can occur
as a family, children from parents, parents from children, and
(20:28):
all together. As part of this process, parents should consider
having their teenagers and where appropriate, preteens too, consider these
Consider these options as presented in this article situation by
situation and game plan by game plans, and apply it
(20:50):
to their daily lives. Such a discussion with its accompanying
personal sharing, because further, they're getting to know one another
better as people and not just as roles as mother, father,
and child. So this was quite an interesting article that
I found at emotionally Healthy children dot org. On the
(21:11):
website that there's a book available on how to raise
emotionally healthy children, and I think it's definitely worth checking
out if you're interested. This is just an excerpt from
that book with some advice on how to create a
sense of community within the family. And I think that
(21:32):
a lot of the suggestions such as having a family meeting,
doing activities together, and especially what I found really important
not only from this article, but I've applied in my
personal life is not letting the roles of the families,
(21:53):
such as the roles of the parents become the stereotypes
as being be all knowing, incapable of making mistakes or
incapable of admitting those mistakes to the children, and the
stereotype of the children being not necessarily always in the wrong,
but always inexperienced and not able to contribute to the
(22:16):
family in the same way that the parents are. I
found that when children and parents work together to solve
issues within the family and share opinions about different family
conflicts or family projects, or different things that have happened
in the family life, that it really creates an environment
(22:38):
in which both children and adults feel heard and respected.
And I personally believe from my experience that it's helped
truly connect parents to their children. I think that it
enables children to get a more wholesome view of the
(23:00):
parents and to understand that their parents are not perfect,
and to understand the reasons why they're not perfect. And
I think this creates more of the ability to forgive
your parents for being imperfect, because they're no longer the
all perfect, can never make a mistake, ideological figure in
(23:22):
the family anymore. Instead, they're human beings like the child
himself or herself and they can more easily relate to
the way the parent feels. And I think it just
makes for better community communication as a whole between parents
and children and solves a lot of conflicts. It solves
a lot of issues with children feeling unheard or oppressed
(23:47):
by their parents, and then that can cause issues later
down the line with children not feeling like they can
trust their parents or that their parents can understand them,
or resenting their parents. So I think that this site,
emotionally Healthy Children dot org is definitely worth looking into,
and it's great information is and advice on how to
(24:11):
create a more respectful, loving and just open family life
with uh with children and adults, and helps solve a
lot of conflicts that I know that a lot of
families go through that I think would benefit a lot
from the things suggested in this article that I read.
So we have a little bit of time left, but
(24:31):
I don't want to go into the full topic of
teenage depressions and suicide, but I'm going to just read
a little bit about it as an introduction and we'll
pick up on it next week. This is this information
is from Kids Health dot org. The tragedy of a
young person dying because of overwhelming helplessness or frustration is
(24:55):
devastating to family, friends and community. Parents, siblings, kind of coaches,
and neighbors might be left wondering if they could have
done something to prevent that young person from turning to suicide.
Learning more about the factors that might lead to adolescent
suicide may help prevent further tragedies. Even though it's not
always preventable, it's always a good idea to be informed
(25:18):
and take action to help a troubled teenager. Little information
about teens suicide. The reasons behind a teen's suicide or
attempted suicide can be complex. Although suicide is relatively rare
among children, the rate of suicides and suicide attempts increases
tremendously during adolescence. This was one of the reasons why
(25:41):
I wanted to discuss this, especially due to this next
factor that suicide is the third leading cause of death
in adolescents and young adults from fifteen to twenty four,
and that's a huge, huge percentage of people of this
(26:01):
age dying because of suicide. So it's definitely something that
I really wanted to give my attention to and to
talk about If that means that we don't get through
everything today, that's perfectly fine. But I definitely want to
dedicate even a whole show on this because it is
so important. It is such an issue among young adults
(26:24):
during this age. I'm just gonna read this a tiny
bit more, and then I'll read this sum again at
the introduction of the next show. As I said, suicide
is a third they being caused a death from fifteen
to twenty year olds, according to the Centers for Disease
Control and Prevention After Accidents and Homicide. It's also thought
(26:45):
that at least twenty five attempts are made for every
completed teen suicide. There's good suicide increases dramatically when kids
and teens have access to fire arms at home, and
nearly sixty percent of all suicides in the United States
are committed with a gun. That's why with any gun
in your home should beloaded, locked, and kept out of
(27:05):
reach of children and teens. Overdose using over the counter,
prescription and non prescription medication is also very common. It's
also very common method for both attempting and completing suicide.
It's important to monitor carefully all medications in your home.
Also be aware that teens will trade different prescription medications
at school and carry them or store them in their
(27:27):
locker or backpack. Suicide rates differ between boys and girls.
Girls think about and attempt suicide about twice as often
as boys intend to attempt suicide by overdosing on drugs
or cutting themselves. Yet boys die by suicide about four
times as often as girls, perhaps because they tend to
(27:48):
use more lethal methods such as firearms, hanging, or jumping
from heights. The article continues more, but as you can see,
it's a very unfortunately upsetting topic, but it is one that,
as I said, because it's such the high number of
teenagers and young adults in the age and fifteen the
twenty four die because of suicide or attempted suicide, it
(28:11):
is definitely something that I think is important for parents
to learn about and to consider so that as their
children are growing up, or if they have children in
those age rains, they can better be able to spot
the I guess, and to hopefully help diminish the overwhelming
(28:36):
statistic of people around this age that die from suicide.
So again, thank you for listening. I hope that this
has been very informational for parents and children as you
are listening, and I hope to continue this next week
and I hope that you will also tune in for
(28:57):
the show. I think it's very important.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
And Kay, you raised me up so I stand on them.
(29:20):
You raise me to walk constody time from when I
am on your shawl. Raised me.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Too hard and I can be.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
You raise me sad on the bad, You raise who
do come. So many things
Speaker 1 (30:06):
I can
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