November 1, 2023 • 21 mins
Text Brian & Shawna (Fan Mail)
Have you ever wondered about the impact of Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) or the Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) on your life decisions? Olivia and I, Brian, take you through an enlightening conversation around these intriguing emotions. We're thrilled to have JOliver, who shares his compelling personal journey from a murky phase of selfishness and greed to a spiritual awakening ignited by a dream.
A significant part of our discussion points to the internal battles we face. J offers a profound understanding of how discrete sins like selfishness can internally erode us. Together, we explore the healing power of vulnerability and the solace of acknowledging our shared struggles. We also reflect on the surprising joy derived from renouncing materialistic pursuits in favor of a more enriched life experience.
Our conversation is made even more powerful by J's personal testimony, a testament to the importance of aligning with God's will. J's life-altering experience conveys the importance of seeking God's viewpoint beyond the world's judgment. We hope this story inspires you, reminding you that no matter the distance you feel you've drifted, it's not too late to return to God's path. So, join us for this transformative conversation blending life lessons, spiritual wisdom, and compelling personal narratives.
Ways to Join Us LIVE 👇
Live shows are on Thursdays at 8pm EST (unless it's a holiday or fifth Thursday of the month)
- Join us LIVE on your mobile phone
- Buy your own VR headset & earn some reward points from Meta!
- Apply to be a guest
- Join us on Instagram
Affiliate links are used when possible to help support this podcast.
- Get Your Own Podcast on BuzzSprout
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
But welcome to today's podcast replay from the
Killer B Studios.
Let's go ahead and dive on in.
How many of you here have everexperienced FOMO?
Anybody, yeah, yeah, okay,everybody.
Yeah, I see it.
Mostly everybody, yes.
What's interesting is it's notalways, doesn't always lead to a
(00:20):
bad decision.
But, olivia, I would love toask you have you ever felt a
strong sense of FOMO before?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, yeah, I would definitely say, as I was younger
and growing up, before it waseven a term, there's always that
where I think, especially twoin my 20s, where, even though,
like you're tired or whatever,like I would just run myself
(00:47):
ragged because I'm like, if Idon't go to this person's house,
what if they have all theseinside jokes that I don't know
about or this or that orwhatever.
But now, as I'm older, brian,here's a new term for you.
A lot of the times I have Jomo,which is the joy of missing out
(01:08):
, because I get to relax.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Interesting.
You know, I've never heard that.
Has anybody else heard of Jomo?
Has anybody else heard of that?
Oh, we got one person throwingconfetti.
I like that, jomo, veryinteresting.
You know one of the things Iwas thinking too.
You just kind of hit this earlywhen you're talking about.
When you're younger, you alwayshad the fear of missing out and
I was kind of processing that.
(01:31):
Today, does the fear of missingout tend to fade and change the
order you get?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
All right, cool.
Well, with that, are you guysready for us to bring out our
guests?
I would love for you to takeabout 30 seconds to tell the
audience a little bit about whois Jay Oliver.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Yeah, I mean, first and foremost, I'm a child of God
, so I'm really thankful forthat.
I'm a Christian, I say rap, hiphop, but I also I'm just very
versatile in how I like musicand I'm a husband and, yeah,
that's just probably the bestway I could sum it up, but I'm
extremely grateful to be herewhen we first met Jay.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Actually, I came across Jay on Instagram you know
we've been interviewing peopleand your name popped up.
I was like huh.
So I started watching some ofyour stuff and, like you know
what, I think I would like toreach out to Jay and see if he'd
like to come to the studios andshare what he's doing and share
his story.
When we first talked about youjoining us as a guest, you
shared that your story goes backto a dark time in your life.
(02:36):
So I would love to.
Maybe can you take us back tothat time and share what you
mean by dark times and what wasthe darkness that you were
facing, because I think that alot of us here probably anybody
here would say that they had atime in their life that was dark
times.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
So, basically, you know, my life I came from, my
parents were separated, sothat's kind of like how from the
go, that's kind of like how mylife started, and so whenever I
would go over to my dad'sbecause I used to go over like
every other weekend he wouldtake me to church.
But basically for 25 years, Ireally just was very rebellious
(03:20):
and caught up in my ownselfishness and caught up in a
lot of greed and things thatjust really ran me the wrong
direction.
And so when I was this was in2020 of September I just
remember having a you know,having a dream, and this was the
time, like, where I was dealingwith probably, probably the
(03:42):
darkest side I would say thatI've ever been in.
And, you know, by the worldstandards, I would never would
say that I've been like a youknow, gone through the worst
things or committed the worstcrimes by any means, but it's
just, you know, the things thatwe tend to not think about as
serious can really like eat usalive from the inside, and so
(04:02):
those are a lot of things that Iwas dealing with selfishness
and just really just focusing onindependence, and it was at a
time in my life where I was juststarting or starting to date
the girl that I would eventuallymarry, and so those are a lot
of things that you know, god hadto check me in, but I just
remember in September of 2020, Iremember having a dream that
(04:26):
the rapture happened and Ididn't make it, and so when we
talk about darkness and we talkabout fear of missing out, and
we talk about things that reallyjust have that, that ability to
move you, that's really whathappened in that moment.
I just remember feeling like,if there was ever a feeling for
(04:47):
darkness, that was it, you know.
I mean because it was just justa feeling I never wanted to feel
again.
And I remember waking up insweat.
I went outside, I set down onthe street and really just
figured out what I was gonna donext.
And you know, my girlfriend andI we already started having
conversations about, you know,going to church and things like
that, but we never take it orwould take it serious.
And that's the biggest messageI want to get across tonight is
(05:10):
that, like I'm no different fromanybody in this room and I was
I was about as rebellious asthey come.
So you know I'm not a specialsomeone that God just chose.
So so, yeah, that's really.
That's really where my journeystarted was with a dream, and
you know, the Bible's pretty,pretty clear when it comes to
(05:31):
that.
You know, like God can impactus in dreams and I never, I
never wanted to believe thatuntil it, until it happened to
me.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
So yeah, yeah you know it's interesting for you to
be pointing out that yourdarkness, like that time was, it
wasn't like you weren't intolike a bunch of drugs, into that
, but your, your darkness wasselfishness, something that,
yeah, we can very easily lookover in ourselves because, I
mean, really we're in a culturewhere it's all about self, so
it's it's hard to see that attimes that maybe Selfishness is
(06:01):
a problem.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
I mean it's just by by a world standard too, right.
I mean we always try to kind ofrate these.
You know things that we do badand you know the world will tell
you, or would have told me,that I wasn't doing Really a lot
of bad things, that you knowI'd be considered good by the
world standards but at the sametime I wasn't, my heart wasn't
right and and it was making mego down past that, you know,
(06:25):
ultimately the Lord didn't wantme to go down and so that was.
That was where I had to get areality check and really just
tap into what I was supposed totap into all along.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
When you, when you talk about like the word
darkness, how would you definethe word darkness on?
Speaker 3 (06:41):
I think.
I think darkness is oftenCorrelated with like isolation,
because when you're in isolation, you think that you're alone,
you think that you have to do itall on your own, you get Taken
away from people who would wantto lift you up in those moments
that you find yourself indarkness, and so and it just
(07:02):
doesn't.
In my opinion, you know the theultimate reason for Having
darkness is not having light,and so if you don't have the
light in your life, then it'seasy to be surrounded by
darkness.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
That's interesting to take a spin on that way, to
think about darkness that way,because, as we know, as
believers, we know that thelight is, is being close to God,
is being close to Jesus and toreally start processing, because
I mean, you can go through hardtimes in life I that might be
considered dark times if you'rewalking with God's, not dark
(07:35):
internally in Thinking about.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
You know you said it wasn't like by any world
standards what you had gotteninto.
So say that you know you're afriend of yours.
What types of things would younotice that maybe you are like
how do this, how do we help youget out of this particular
(08:00):
Darkness that you're facing?
Speaker 3 (08:02):
So are you talking about, like, if somebody else is
going through similar darkness,like how, yeah, where it's not,
like easily seen like drugs,alcohol but you notice that
there's like Something that'skeeping them from you know
they're best self or connectingwith God, or whatever it may be
like.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
How would you notice that or help someone in that
same situation?
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I feel like here, here's the deal with that,
because you know it's just likewe were talking about there are
certain sins that would qualifyfrom the the world standards are
not as bad.
I think that also Can have anegative effect on people who
are dealing with, because, Imean, sin is sin right?
So like if if somebody'sdealing with something that's
much deeper than that, like ifthey're dealing with, you know,
(08:48):
like you said, drugs, you knowDifferent, deeper sins that
people would judge more for that.
We I just think we have to bevery careful because we need to
bring all that to the table andfeel feel comfortable to bring
that to the table, because itallows us to be in a vulnerable
state.
I feel like once people canactually realize that they're
not the only ones that strugglewith things like that, then
(09:10):
that's kind of like when healingcan start to take place,
because you're like, okay, I am,and, just like I mentioned, you
know Alone, right, that you'rein that mindset of I'm alone in
this, like nobody's ever gonnaunderstand, nobody's ever going
to be able to relate to my sinor what I'm messing up.
You know what I mean, but inthe same, I mean we all go
through.
(09:30):
I think we all go through somany things that are similar,
but we just don't know itbecause we don't have those
conversations with each other.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Exactly as I say, we don't.
We're not open to talk about itLike, yeah, you know, that's
one thing I love about thestudio is here is this is a safe
place.
You know, we have people fromall over that come here, and
there's a lot of people thatcome here that aren't Christians
and they notice the safe place.
This is all, but I was justbeing real, and we all go
through Similar life challengesand we don't.
We don't need to go throughalone.
I can actually relate a lot toyour story too, because you know
(09:59):
, I was raised in church, butthen I kind of in high school, I
decided now I'm not, this isn'tgoing, I'm not as cool as I
want to be.
I'm gonna go this other pathand start going on this other
whole path.
For years To me and my wife gottogether, got married, and we
weren't going to church.
She didn't even.
She didn't, wasn't even sayanything like that.
So it was God waking me upthrough that too.
(10:20):
But those times were times Iwas thinking there's no way I
can go back.
I've done way too many badthings and I had to learn, just
like in the Bible, where ittalks about you know and Genesis
like Darkness.
Really, if we think aboutdarkness like you're saying,
it's without the light, soanything that separates us from
God Is is a darkness.
It's, it's, it's taking us awayfrom that light.
(10:42):
If it's pulling us away fromfrom God, then our lives are
getting darker in a bad way, andit's it's, and we all do it, so
it's like I don't I thinkthat's the thing that's.
It's not like well, I can'tbelieve they did that.
We've all done it and weprobably all still do it almost
every day in some way.
That's what that's thebeautiful thing about.
God's grace and God's love iseasy.
Forgiving God Like that's wherehe talks about working out our
(11:04):
salvation.
It's a, it's an everyday thingwe're walking out.
It's a process Correct, yeah, sothat was a really good question
you had there too.
I would love to know, jay, howhas your life changed since your
transformation?
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Yeah, I mean I think I think she hit on it earlier
right, the joy and the joy ofmissing out on those types of
things.
I mean, like it's it's we, youknow, we so often think that the
things that the world desiresmoney or it's material things,
but they just after, after somuch, they just leave us with
(11:42):
nothing, right?
Like I mean, we always wantmore, and it leaves us in that
greedy state of always wantingto get more.
We can never be comfortable,and and so I'm actually thankful
that you know, I'm able to fillthat void, because we all have
that void, right, every singleone of us in this room has that
void that needs to be filled,and we're constantly searching
(12:03):
for something to fill that.
And so, with God, it was like hefilled that for me, you know, I
mean, and then I was able toreally just Experience my life
in a way that I was always meantto experience it, and it just
blew me away because I neverthought that I could be that
person, like I just never.
(12:23):
Just, like you said, I was inthe same sense of just being.
I'm too cool for this, I can't,you know, I need to be cool, I
need to hang out with the coolkids in school.
I need to, you know doeverything that just makes me
feel, from a worldly perspective, that I've got success and I've
got it together and and, yeah,man, I just once I realized that
all that stuff is fleeting andit doesn't satisfy Whatever
(12:46):
you're looking for and you findout what does that?
That changes your lifeincredibly.
And so my, my mission every dayis not to please the world.
My mission every day is not to,you know, make sure that all
these people like me.
My mission is not to Driveafter, you know, satisfaction
and things that may give metemporary happiness, it's to
(13:08):
serve God, and and when I doserve God, I find the joy that
the Bible talks about with sothat surpasses all understanding
, you know, talking about thepeace.
That surpasses allunderstanding.
That's kind of what's what's onme now and I can rest easy at
night.
Christians still sometimes fallfor the, the trap of temporary
Dills.
It's.
It's not like once you become aChristian, yeah, immediately,
(13:29):
you know fine.
You, you still fall for that,and it's.
It's just a reality, more of areality check whenever you do to
say, hey, you know, I need torealign myself with what I'm
supposed to be doing.
Yeah it's not.
It doesn't just go awayimmediately Once you get saved.
You still have that flashpulling at you.
You still have things that aregonna pull you in the wrong
direction.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
So yes, a hundred percent, like, so like, for
instance, I had had some peoplethat came up to me when I was at
the radio station and they werethey were actually working at
the station.
They weren't from the stationbut they were outside a company
working in, and some of thepeople that came in they were
this was one guy that was justhe was such a hard worker and he
was always there early doingthe job and People would give
(14:12):
him a hard time not our workers,but his team would give him a
hard time.
Well then, his boss showed upone day and his boss was just
ripping him apart and I was kindof shocked because nobody was
going out to say anything.
I Was like, okay, and I waskind of new I wasn't working
remotely more, so it's kind ofnew being on the premises.
So I went out and I was like Ican't do this.
So I went out and I said, hey,I just wanted to say you have
(14:35):
been doing an amazing job, likeyou were here before everybody
else.
Yeah, I just kind of went outthere when his boss was tearing
him a new one.
I went out there and justpointed out all the good things
he was doing that I had seen hisboss hadn't been there all week
.
So afterwards, you know, hisboss actually walked off a
little bit upset, but which isfine.
But the guy pulled me asidelater and he said hey, thanks
(14:55):
for thanks for coming out andsharing that.
He's like I was just want toask you, do you go to church and
stuff.
And I was like, yeah, he's likewell, I got some questions for
you, something I've been dealingwith.
I'm like all right, cool.
And he's like do you think it'sall right to do this and this?
Because I'm I'm struggling withthis and I think that that's
all right.
And I was like okay, here, holdon a second, let me tell you
something.
No matter what I tell you, ifyou don't like what I have to
(15:16):
say, you're going to go tosomebody else.
You do like what they say.
What I'm going to tell you isgo and read the Bible and read
this.
I was like and if you feel likeyou need to get somebody else to
tell you if it's okay or not,okay, then maybe you really need
to talk to God about it.
Because I think that's what'sinteresting when we become
Christians is not that we don'tsin and make mistakes.
(15:39):
But we become more aware whenthe light isn't inside, because
we're kind of drifting apart.
So it's getting darker insidebecause when you remove yourself
from God you can feel you knowsomething's not right and as
Christians we know we need to goback and repent and talk to God
about it.
But people that don't know God,they haven't experienced that.
(16:02):
It's not that God loveseverybody.
He loves everybody and he wantseverybody to experience his
love, but when they have neverexperienced it, they don't
really recognize it.
That's going away because it'snever been there.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Yeah, and I mean I honestly I fall into that trap
sometimes too, because, like,whenever I have, you know, new
music that I'm thinking aboutreleasing and stuff like that, I
can be really quick to well,what's the public perception of
this?
Even though it is important tome what people think, because
ultimately, people are going tobe digesting it right, Like
people are going to take it inand they're going to listen to
(16:36):
it and they're going to like itor not like it, they're going to
vibe to it or not vibe to it.
But ultimately you do have tocome with the question and be
like what does God think of thissong?
Does he like it or does he notlike it?
And you know, and that's that'swhat I'm doing it for at the end
of the day, I'm not doing itfor people.
Now, if I was still doingsecular music for people, then
that would make a whole lot moresense.
(16:57):
But since I'm not, I reallyhave to keep myself grounded and
I've tried to stray away fromthat as much as I can.
I do like to still have likemusical influences that are
close to me in order for, like,I mean for audio type stuff or
like if this sounds correct,like from a musical perspective.
But as far as like the actualmessage and getting approval
(17:18):
from people, I think that that'sjust.
You know, that's not what youshould be doing.
If you're doing Christian music, if you're doing things that
are meant to be forgot, itshouldn't be here.
That shouldn't be your basis orstandard.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
We just had a guest on here recently, producer
Sherry from the Brand HandsomeShow, but she talked about the
process of creativity, a processof creating, which is really
good for people.
That's in here too.
You're creating work, you're amusician, you're creating
something, and for her you knowshe she's always producing shows
and plays and scripts and allthis stuff.
And she said one of the thingsI thought was really good was
(17:55):
she pointed out that sheencouraged everybody to ask
yourself and it really relatesto if you're a Christian, if
you're a Christian, ask yourself, when you're creating, is it
kingdom positioned?
And I was like, wow, that's sogood to be.
Think about that.
So that's exactly what you'resaying about your music.
Tell us a little bit about Saveand Thankful.
(18:16):
How did this song come about?
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yeah, so I actually, before Save and Thankful, my
first or my last EP, I shouldsay dropped in 2018.
So Save and Thankful dropped inJune of 2023 this year, and so
the biggest deal since I wassaved in March of 2021, the
biggest deal I wanted to getacross in this song was to
(18:42):
basically fill in that gap from2018 to 2023.
And I thought the best way todo that was just by saying what
is this title of the song gonnabe?
Because it's not really in thehook.
It's not.
I didn't necessarily ever sayit in the song, which is
generally how it goes.
Right, you hear a song.
You should probably expect tohear the words in the song or
(19:03):
for the title, but for this oneI just wanted to sum it up in
two words and say I'm saved andI'm thankful for it.
So that's really just what's seton my heart.
And so, yeah, whenever it comesto this song, it's about my
testimony, it's about merebelling away from God, it's
about me choosing it.
Actually, one of the lines sayscounting up all the times that
(19:27):
I shoved him off and pushed himaway and said, hey, I'm gonna do
my own thing and start out withmy testimony.
That's what the first verse ispretty much all about.
And then I just talk about howimportant it is, or how
important it was for me to turnto him and realizing how,
without him, I'm still not gonnahave anything.
(19:47):
Cause at the end of I say thelast part of it is just saying
at the end of it all, we'resaying thank you to him,
ultimately, like we're done withthis life and eternity.
Whenever we see him, we'retelling him thank you for
everything he's done and thankyou for finally getting us to
this place of eternal peace.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
How did has music always been an interest of yours
, or how did that all come about?
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Yeah, so I actually I started doing music in 2012,
but I was doing like secular rapmusic, so I had been doing that
for about I mean I took my gapin like in 2018.
So I guess it was like a solidlike six years of doing music.
But I mean, I don't have amusical background.
(20:38):
I didn't go to school for music.
I don't.
I don't play any instruments,I'm strictly vocals, but I never
really had musical background.
My mom was a fantastic singerstill as a fantastic singer, but
I did not have like a specific.
You know, I didn't take courses, I didn't take a school for it.
So but I think I'm just blessedbecause I think God just gave
(21:01):
me an ear for it.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
If there's a thought, anybody there's gonna be people
that's gonna listen to thepodcast replay on this, yeah.
So what would your takeaway bethat you hope they would walk
away with from everything thatwe've talked about tonight?
Speaker 3 (21:13):
You know, I would honestly just say my one thing
is because I feel like Istruggle with this the most
early on in my journey it's justbelieving that you're not too
far away to still turn to God.
Don't ever think that you'retoo far away, You're not.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Thanks for tuning in to the Stories we Live podcast.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
And before you go make, sure you hit that
subscribe button, and we'd loveit if you would leave us a
review.
But welcome to today's podcast replay from the
Killer B Studios.
Let's go ahead and dive on in.
How many of you here have everexperienced FOMO?
Anybody, yeah, yeah, okay,everybody.
Yeah, I see it.
Mostly everybody, yes.
What's interesting is it's notalways, doesn't always lead to a
(00:20):
bad decision.
But, olivia, I would love toask you have you ever felt a
strong sense of FOMO before?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, yeah, I would definitely say, as I was younger
and growing up, before it waseven a term, there's always that
where I think, especially twoin my 20s, where, even though,
like you're tired or whatever,like I would just run myself
(00:47):
ragged because I'm like, if Idon't go to this person's house,
what if they have all theseinside jokes that I don't know
about or this or that orwhatever.
But now, as I'm older, brian,here's a new term for you.
A lot of the times I have Jomo,which is the joy of missing out
(01:08):
, because I get to relax.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Interesting.
You know, I've never heard that.
Has anybody else heard of Jomo?
Has anybody else heard of that?
Oh, we got one person throwingconfetti.
I like that, jomo, veryinteresting.
You know one of the things Iwas thinking too.
You just kind of hit this earlywhen you're talking about.
When you're younger, you alwayshad the fear of missing out and
I was kind of processing that.
(01:31):
Today, does the fear of missingout tend to fade and change the
order you get?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
All right, cool.
Well, with that, are you guysready for us to bring out our
guests?
I would love for you to takeabout 30 seconds to tell the
audience a little bit about whois Jay Oliver.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Yeah, I mean, first and foremost, I'm a child of God
, so I'm really thankful forthat.
I'm a Christian, I say rap, hiphop, but I also I'm just very
versatile in how I like musicand I'm a husband and, yeah,
that's just probably the bestway I could sum it up, but I'm
extremely grateful to be herewhen we first met Jay.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Actually, I came across Jay on Instagram you know
we've been interviewing peopleand your name popped up.
I was like huh.
So I started watching some ofyour stuff and, like you know
what, I think I would like toreach out to Jay and see if he'd
like to come to the studios andshare what he's doing and share
his story.
When we first talked about youjoining us as a guest, you
shared that your story goes backto a dark time in your life.
(02:36):
So I would love to.
Maybe can you take us back tothat time and share what you
mean by dark times and what wasthe darkness that you were
facing, because I think that alot of us here probably anybody
here would say that they had atime in their life that was dark
times.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
So, basically, you know, my life I came from, my
parents were separated, sothat's kind of like how from the
go, that's kind of like how mylife started, and so whenever I
would go over to my dad'sbecause I used to go over like
every other weekend he wouldtake me to church.
But basically for 25 years, Ireally just was very rebellious
(03:20):
and caught up in my ownselfishness and caught up in a
lot of greed and things thatjust really ran me the wrong
direction.
And so when I was this was in2020 of September I just
remember having a you know,having a dream, and this was the
time, like, where I was dealingwith probably, probably the
(03:42):
darkest side I would say thatI've ever been in.
And, you know, by the worldstandards, I would never would
say that I've been like a youknow, gone through the worst
things or committed the worstcrimes by any means, but it's
just, you know, the things thatwe tend to not think about as
serious can really like eat usalive from the inside, and so
(04:02):
those are a lot of things that Iwas dealing with selfishness
and just really just focusing onindependence, and it was at a
time in my life where I was juststarting or starting to date
the girl that I would eventuallymarry, and so those are a lot
of things that you know, god hadto check me in, but I just
remember in September of 2020, Iremember having a dream that
(04:26):
the rapture happened and Ididn't make it, and so when we
talk about darkness and we talkabout fear of missing out, and
we talk about things that reallyjust have that, that ability to
move you, that's really whathappened in that moment.
I just remember feeling like,if there was ever a feeling for
(04:47):
darkness, that was it, you know.
I mean because it was just justa feeling I never wanted to feel
again.
And I remember waking up insweat.
I went outside, I set down onthe street and really just
figured out what I was gonna donext.
And you know, my girlfriend andI we already started having
conversations about, you know,going to church and things like
that, but we never take it orwould take it serious.
And that's the biggest messageI want to get across tonight is
(05:10):
that, like I'm no different fromanybody in this room and I was
I was about as rebellious asthey come.
So you know I'm not a specialsomeone that God just chose.
So so, yeah, that's really.
That's really where my journeystarted was with a dream, and
you know, the Bible's pretty,pretty clear when it comes to
(05:31):
that.
You know, like God can impactus in dreams and I never, I
never wanted to believe thatuntil it, until it happened to
me.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
So yeah, yeah you know it's interesting for you to
be pointing out that yourdarkness, like that time was, it
wasn't like you weren't intolike a bunch of drugs, into that
, but your, your darkness wasselfishness, something that,
yeah, we can very easily lookover in ourselves because, I
mean, really we're in a culturewhere it's all about self, so
it's it's hard to see that attimes that maybe Selfishness is
(06:01):
a problem.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
I mean it's just by by a world standard too, right.
I mean we always try to kind ofrate these.
You know things that we do badand you know the world will tell
you, or would have told me,that I wasn't doing Really a lot
of bad things, that you knowI'd be considered good by the
world standards but at the sametime I wasn't, my heart wasn't
right and and it was making mego down past that, you know,
(06:25):
ultimately the Lord didn't wantme to go down and so that was.
That was where I had to get areality check and really just
tap into what I was supposed totap into all along.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
When you, when you talk about like the word
darkness, how would you definethe word darkness on?
Speaker 3 (06:41):
I think.
I think darkness is oftenCorrelated with like isolation,
because when you're in isolation, you think that you're alone,
you think that you have to do itall on your own, you get Taken
away from people who would wantto lift you up in those moments
that you find yourself indarkness, and so and it just
(07:02):
doesn't.
In my opinion, you know the theultimate reason for Having
darkness is not having light,and so if you don't have the
light in your life, then it'seasy to be surrounded by
darkness.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
That's interesting to take a spin on that way, to
think about darkness that way,because, as we know, as
believers, we know that thelight is, is being close to God,
is being close to Jesus and toreally start processing, because
I mean, you can go through hardtimes in life I that might be
considered dark times if you'rewalking with God's, not dark
(07:35):
internally in Thinking about.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
You know you said it wasn't like by any world
standards what you had gotteninto.
So say that you know you're afriend of yours.
What types of things would younotice that maybe you are like
how do this, how do we help youget out of this particular
(08:00):
Darkness that you're facing?
Speaker 3 (08:02):
So are you talking about, like, if somebody else is
going through similar darkness,like how, yeah, where it's not,
like easily seen like drugs,alcohol but you notice that
there's like Something that'skeeping them from you know
they're best self or connectingwith God, or whatever it may be
like.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
How would you notice that or help someone in that
same situation?
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I feel like here, here's the deal with that,
because you know it's just likewe were talking about there are
certain sins that would qualifyfrom the the world standards are
not as bad.
I think that also Can have anegative effect on people who
are dealing with, because, Imean, sin is sin right?
So like if if somebody'sdealing with something that's
much deeper than that, like ifthey're dealing with, you know,
(08:48):
like you said, drugs, you knowDifferent, deeper sins that
people would judge more for that.
We I just think we have to bevery careful because we need to
bring all that to the table andfeel feel comfortable to bring
that to the table, because itallows us to be in a vulnerable
state.
I feel like once people canactually realize that they're
not the only ones that strugglewith things like that, then
(09:10):
that's kind of like when healingcan start to take place,
because you're like, okay, I am,and, just like I mentioned, you
know Alone, right, that you'rein that mindset of I'm alone in
this, like nobody's ever gonnaunderstand, nobody's ever going
to be able to relate to my sinor what I'm messing up.
You know what I mean, but inthe same, I mean we all go
through.
(09:30):
I think we all go through somany things that are similar,
but we just don't know itbecause we don't have those
conversations with each other.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Exactly as I say, we don't.
We're not open to talk about itLike, yeah, you know, that's
one thing I love about thestudio is here is this is a safe
place.
You know, we have people fromall over that come here, and
there's a lot of people thatcome here that aren't Christians
and they notice the safe place.
This is all, but I was justbeing real, and we all go
through Similar life challengesand we don't.
We don't need to go throughalone.
I can actually relate a lot toyour story too, because you know
(09:59):
, I was raised in church, butthen I kind of in high school, I
decided now I'm not, this isn'tgoing, I'm not as cool as I
want to be.
I'm gonna go this other pathand start going on this other
whole path.
For years To me and my wife gottogether, got married, and we
weren't going to church.
She didn't even.
She didn't, wasn't even sayanything like that.
So it was God waking me upthrough that too.
(10:20):
But those times were times Iwas thinking there's no way I
can go back.
I've done way too many badthings and I had to learn, just
like in the Bible, where ittalks about you know and Genesis
like Darkness.
Really, if we think aboutdarkness like you're saying,
it's without the light, soanything that separates us from
God Is is a darkness.
It's, it's, it's taking us awayfrom that light.
(10:42):
If it's pulling us away fromfrom God, then our lives are
getting darker in a bad way, andit's it's, and we all do it, so
it's like I don't I thinkthat's the thing that's.
It's not like well, I can'tbelieve they did that.
We've all done it and weprobably all still do it almost
every day in some way.
That's what that's thebeautiful thing about.
God's grace and God's love iseasy.
Forgiving God Like that's wherehe talks about working out our
(11:04):
salvation.
It's a, it's an everyday thingwe're walking out.
It's a process Correct, yeah, sothat was a really good question
you had there too.
I would love to know, jay, howhas your life changed since your
transformation?
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Yeah, I mean I think I think she hit on it earlier
right, the joy and the joy ofmissing out on those types of
things.
I mean, like it's it's we, youknow, we so often think that the
things that the world desiresmoney or it's material things,
but they just after, after somuch, they just leave us with
(11:42):
nothing, right?
Like I mean, we always wantmore, and it leaves us in that
greedy state of always wantingto get more.
We can never be comfortable,and and so I'm actually thankful
that you know, I'm able to fillthat void, because we all have
that void, right, every singleone of us in this room has that
void that needs to be filled,and we're constantly searching
(12:03):
for something to fill that.
And so, with God, it was like hefilled that for me, you know, I
mean, and then I was able toreally just Experience my life
in a way that I was always meantto experience it, and it just
blew me away because I neverthought that I could be that
person, like I just never.
(12:23):
Just, like you said, I was inthe same sense of just being.
I'm too cool for this, I can't,you know, I need to be cool, I
need to hang out with the coolkids in school.
I need to, you know doeverything that just makes me
feel, from a worldly perspective, that I've got success and I've
got it together and and, yeah,man, I just once I realized that
all that stuff is fleeting andit doesn't satisfy Whatever
(12:46):
you're looking for and you findout what does that?
That changes your lifeincredibly.
And so my, my mission every dayis not to please the world.
My mission every day is not to,you know, make sure that all
these people like me.
My mission is not to Driveafter, you know, satisfaction
and things that may give metemporary happiness, it's to
(13:08):
serve God, and and when I doserve God, I find the joy that
the Bible talks about with sothat surpasses all understanding
, you know, talking about thepeace.
That surpasses allunderstanding.
That's kind of what's what's onme now and I can rest easy at
night.
Christians still sometimes fallfor the, the trap of temporary
Dills.
It's.
It's not like once you become aChristian, yeah, immediately,
(13:29):
you know fine.
You, you still fall for that,and it's.
It's just a reality, more of areality check whenever you do to
say, hey, you know, I need torealign myself with what I'm
supposed to be doing.
Yeah it's not.
It doesn't just go awayimmediately Once you get saved.
You still have that flashpulling at you.
You still have things that aregonna pull you in the wrong
direction.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
So yes, a hundred percent, like, so like, for
instance, I had had some peoplethat came up to me when I was at
the radio station and they werethey were actually working at
the station.
They weren't from the stationbut they were outside a company
working in, and some of thepeople that came in they were
this was one guy that was justhe was such a hard worker and he
was always there early doingthe job and People would give
(14:12):
him a hard time not our workers,but his team would give him a
hard time.
Well then, his boss showed upone day and his boss was just
ripping him apart and I was kindof shocked because nobody was
going out to say anything.
I Was like, okay, and I waskind of new I wasn't working
remotely more, so it's kind ofnew being on the premises.
So I went out and I was like Ican't do this.
So I went out and I said, hey,I just wanted to say you have
(14:35):
been doing an amazing job, likeyou were here before everybody
else.
Yeah, I just kind of went outthere when his boss was tearing
him a new one.
I went out there and justpointed out all the good things
he was doing that I had seen hisboss hadn't been there all week
.
So afterwards, you know, hisboss actually walked off a
little bit upset, but which isfine.
But the guy pulled me asidelater and he said hey, thanks
(14:55):
for thanks for coming out andsharing that.
He's like I was just want toask you, do you go to church and
stuff.
And I was like, yeah, he's likewell, I got some questions for
you, something I've been dealingwith.
I'm like all right, cool.
And he's like do you think it'sall right to do this and this?
Because I'm I'm struggling withthis and I think that that's
all right.
And I was like okay, here, holdon a second, let me tell you
something.
No matter what I tell you, ifyou don't like what I have to
(15:16):
say, you're going to go tosomebody else.
You do like what they say.
What I'm going to tell you isgo and read the Bible and read
this.
I was like and if you feel likeyou need to get somebody else to
tell you if it's okay or not,okay, then maybe you really need
to talk to God about it.
Because I think that's what'sinteresting when we become
Christians is not that we don'tsin and make mistakes.
(15:39):
But we become more aware whenthe light isn't inside, because
we're kind of drifting apart.
So it's getting darker insidebecause when you remove yourself
from God you can feel you knowsomething's not right and as
Christians we know we need to goback and repent and talk to God
about it.
But people that don't know God,they haven't experienced that.
(16:02):
It's not that God loveseverybody.
He loves everybody and he wantseverybody to experience his
love, but when they have neverexperienced it, they don't
really recognize it.
That's going away because it'snever been there.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Yeah, and I mean I honestly I fall into that trap
sometimes too, because, like,whenever I have, you know, new
music that I'm thinking aboutreleasing and stuff like that, I
can be really quick to well,what's the public perception of
this?
Even though it is important tome what people think, because
ultimately, people are going tobe digesting it right, Like
people are going to take it inand they're going to listen to
(16:36):
it and they're going to like itor not like it, they're going to
vibe to it or not vibe to it.
But ultimately you do have tocome with the question and be
like what does God think of thissong?
Does he like it or does he notlike it?
And you know, and that's that'swhat I'm doing it for at the end
of the day, I'm not doing itfor people.
Now, if I was still doingsecular music for people, then
that would make a whole lot moresense.
(16:57):
But since I'm not, I reallyhave to keep myself grounded and
I've tried to stray away fromthat as much as I can.
I do like to still have likemusical influences that are
close to me in order for, like,I mean for audio type stuff or
like if this sounds correct,like from a musical perspective.
But as far as like the actualmessage and getting approval
(17:18):
from people, I think that that'sjust.
You know, that's not what youshould be doing.
If you're doing Christian music, if you're doing things that
are meant to be forgot, itshouldn't be here.
That shouldn't be your basis orstandard.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
We just had a guest on here recently, producer
Sherry from the Brand HandsomeShow, but she talked about the
process of creativity, a processof creating, which is really
good for people.
That's in here too.
You're creating work, you're amusician, you're creating
something, and for her you knowshe she's always producing shows
and plays and scripts and allthis stuff.
And she said one of the thingsI thought was really good was
(17:55):
she pointed out that sheencouraged everybody to ask
yourself and it really relatesto if you're a Christian, if
you're a Christian, ask yourself, when you're creating, is it
kingdom positioned?
And I was like, wow, that's sogood to be.
Think about that.
So that's exactly what you'resaying about your music.
Tell us a little bit about Saveand Thankful.
(18:16):
How did this song come about?
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yeah, so I actually, before Save and Thankful, my
first or my last EP, I shouldsay dropped in 2018.
So Save and Thankful dropped inJune of 2023 this year, and so
the biggest deal since I wassaved in March of 2021, the
biggest deal I wanted to getacross in this song was to
(18:42):
basically fill in that gap from2018 to 2023.
And I thought the best way todo that was just by saying what
is this title of the song gonnabe?
Because it's not really in thehook.
It's not.
I didn't necessarily ever sayit in the song, which is
generally how it goes.
Right, you hear a song.
You should probably expect tohear the words in the song or
(19:03):
for the title, but for this oneI just wanted to sum it up in
two words and say I'm saved andI'm thankful for it.
So that's really just what's seton my heart.
And so, yeah, whenever it comesto this song, it's about my
testimony, it's about merebelling away from God, it's
about me choosing it.
Actually, one of the lines sayscounting up all the times that
(19:27):
I shoved him off and pushed himaway and said, hey, I'm gonna do
my own thing and start out withmy testimony.
That's what the first verse ispretty much all about.
And then I just talk about howimportant it is, or how
important it was for me to turnto him and realizing how,
without him, I'm still not gonnahave anything.
(19:47):
Cause at the end of I say thelast part of it is just saying
at the end of it all, we'resaying thank you to him,
ultimately, like we're done withthis life and eternity.
Whenever we see him, we'retelling him thank you for
everything he's done and thankyou for finally getting us to
this place of eternal peace.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
How did has music always been an interest of yours
, or how did that all come about?
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Yeah, so I actually I started doing music in 2012,
but I was doing like secular rapmusic, so I had been doing that
for about I mean I took my gapin like in 2018.
So I guess it was like a solidlike six years of doing music.
But I mean, I don't have amusical background.
(20:38):
I didn't go to school for music.
I don't.
I don't play any instruments,I'm strictly vocals, but I never
really had musical background.
My mom was a fantastic singerstill as a fantastic singer, but
I did not have like a specific.
You know, I didn't take courses, I didn't take a school for it.
So but I think I'm just blessedbecause I think God just gave
(21:01):
me an ear for it.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
If there's a thought, anybody there's gonna be people
that's gonna listen to thepodcast replay on this, yeah.
So what would your takeaway bethat you hope they would walk
away with from everything thatwe've talked about tonight?
Speaker 3 (21:13):
You know, I would honestly just say my one thing
is because I feel like Istruggle with this the most
early on in my journey it's justbelieving that you're not too
far away to still turn to God.
Don't ever think that you'retoo far away, You're not.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Thanks for tuning in to the Stories we Live podcast.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
And before you go make, sure you hit that
subscribe button, and we'd loveit if you would leave us a
review.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.