Confidence Boost: How to ease high performance pressure.

In this week’s Confidence Boost episode, Erin breaks down the hidden pressure many high performers feel to be exceptional in order to feel safe and successful at work. She explores why this mindset shows up so strongly in new roles and the ways it can quietly undermine confidence and sustainability. Erin offers two practical mindset resets to help you ease the pressure, redefine success, and approach your role with more clarity and calm.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Quick and dirty.
Let's give you a confidenceboost for your week in this
short but value-packed episode.
Stay tuned.
Hi friends, I hope you arehaving a great start to your
week.
I wanted to jump in here andgive you some podcast episodes

(00:21):
that are short and sweet butgive you an immediate confidence
boost that you can take intoyour week.
So this week I want to do yourfirst confidence boost episode,
and today I'm going to address aphenomenon that many, many,
many of my high performingclients have around feeling
pressured to be the favoriteextraordinary, around feeling

(00:44):
pressured to be the favoriteextraordinary.
Sometimes they talk about it asneeding to be special at the
top.
Often they were seen as deeplyvaluable in their previous role
and now they're startingsomewhere new and they fear this
sense of being ordinary oraverage or not adding enough
value, because they felt alittle bit like the rock star in

(01:06):
their old job.
So the way that this oftenlooks for my current clients are
dominant thoughts like if I'mnot exceptional, then I'm not
doing well, if I'm not thefavorite or I'm not the
superstar, then it's not goodenough.
If I'm not on top, I'm notvaluable enough or I'm not safe

(01:27):
in this job.
You are not alone if you areidentifying with one of these
thoughts.
It shows up for a lot of highachievers, a lot of
perfectionists, a lot of peoplewho have very, very, very high
expectations of themselves.
And the pressure often doesn'tactually even come from your
boss or your peers.

(01:47):
It's internal.
It's coming from you.
It's something that I seerooted in people's past.
Sometimes it's about theirfamily of origin, sometimes it's
something that happened inschooling.
So there's a lot of differentreasons why we can kind of get
looped into this needing to bespecial, needing to be the
superstar, needing to be at thetop.

(02:08):
But here's the thing that'sproblematic about it when you
start a new job, you reallycannot start off as a superstar,
you cannot start off at the top.
You have to be able to giveyourself space to master the new
.
Give yourself space to masterthe new.
And the superstar mentalitywhen you are new and really even

(02:37):
after you're new, often leadsto burnout.
So it either creates thisbeginning to a job where you
just are in constant self-doubtbecause you're not the superstar
, you're not at the top, you'renot viewing yourself as
exceptional.
So you start getting skewed onyour own performance, your own
capabilities and the fit of thejob and once you do start to
adjust, the feeling that youneed to maintain this superstar
mentality often burns out myclients and so they often come

(03:01):
to me and they've switched jobsbecause they might've started to
really feel burned out in theirlast job and now they're in the
new job and they're not wantingto take this burnout into the
new job, but they still havethis superstar mentality.
And the truth is that youcannot maintain this feeling
that I have to hit a home runevery second of every day.
It becomes unsustainable, itbecomes exhausting, it usually

(03:24):
leads people to overwork and itbecomes something that will
often burn people out of theirjobs or they'll quit their job
or they'll start to job hop inan attempt to solve for this.
So today, in your confidenceboost episode, I just want to
give those of you who identifywith this mentality two
different ways of thinking aboutthis.

(03:45):
To help you snap your brain outof this.
I need to be special,exceptional superstar mentality.
My goal is to help you feelmore grounded, to help you learn
your role in a sustainable wayand to have you creating a
expectation for yourself that isrealistic, that's going to feel
good.
That's going to help you besuccessful, not just as you're

(04:07):
learning, but for the long term.
So the first reset I want togive you is to think about this
desire to be exceptional andapply it to being new.
Try to be someone who isexceptional at being new.
Now, be careful, because someof your brain's going to be like
.
That means I learn really fast.
That means like I come out thegates really strong.

(04:30):
But people who are actuallyexceptional at being new tend to
be open, curious and willing totake in feedback and have the
ability to make space for notknowing.
Okay.
So being exceptional at beingnew actually means you are able
to not know.
You are able to sit in thediscomfort of not knowing.

(04:53):
You are able to be curious andin a space of learning and
taking in the feedback as youlearn.
Confident people don't panicwhen they don't know.
They slow down and learn it.
So being exceptional at beingnew means really mimicking what

(05:13):
it would be like if you werebeing new, like someone who is
confident.
And a confident person is ableto slow down, not spiral because
they don't know, not spiralbecause they're not at the top,
but just give themselves thespace to learn it.
The second reset that I want tooffer you is that success is

(05:35):
about consistency, not superstarmoments.
I want to say that one againbecause I think it's really
important.
Success is about consistency,not superstar moments.
I want to say that one againbecause I think it's really
important.
Success is about consistency,not superstar moments.
Success is not about hitting ahome run every time.
Most highly successfulprofessionals are viewed as
thoughtful, steady and reliableover time.

(05:57):
They know how to get from A toB more often than not time.
They know how to get from A toB more often than not.
I think the misstep is thatpeople think I need to win every
time.
I need to win everyone overevery time.
I need to be at the top everytime.
You don't.
Your job is to build value overtime.
Quick wins are fun, but notfoundationally strong.

(06:21):
What we really want isconsistent value over time with
your supervisors and yourcoworkers.
We want you to be buildingtrust, capability, success,
getting from A to B.
If you think about the peoplewho you view as deeply
successful and competent andcapable, it's not because they
hit a home run every time.

(06:41):
You're probably able to seethem make a mistake or learn
something or have a misstep, butyou view them from a larger
view that allows you to see theconsistency that they have over
time to perform well and to bereliable and to be trustworthy.

(07:02):
So the two resets that I wantto give you this week to boost
your confidence.
For those of you who areidentifying with this
exceptional, special mentalityis that I am exceptional at
being new.
I am open, I am curious, I'mable to make space for not
knowing.
I don't need to win everyoneover right away.
I'm building consistent,reliable value over time.

(07:26):
Okay, guys, thank you so muchfor tuning in.
If you're in a new role and youwant support, building
confidence, improving yourperformance, getting out of
self-doubt and overthinking,head on over to Erin M, as in
mindset fullycom, check out myone-on-one coaching program.
The link is also here in theshow notes.
Thank you, guys, so much forlistening.

(07:47):
I'll be back with moreConfident Boost for you.
In the meantime, I hope youhave a great week.