New Yorker of the Week: Just Us and a Pile of Old Navy Coupons

This week’s New Yorker of the Week is… us. That’s right, we’re kicking off a brand-new format: every other week, it’s Just Us & NYC. No guests. No rules. Just two wacky women with microphones and deeply specific opinions.

We discuss:

• The sacred radius around your apartment where you can wear literally anything

• Comedy bookers who operate like they're running a 1970s crime family

• The man on the sidewalk who played dead… and then played guitar

• And why New York is less of a city and more of a one-woman show that happens to be performed by nine million people at once

Come for the Old Navy coupons, stay for the chaos. This one’s pure local energy.

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Episode Transcript

(00:15):
I felt like a bad clap the firsttime, feeling better about the
second clap. I like the.
I like the mix. That could be a band name.
Second clap. That is kind of nice.
Is it a clap like chlamydia though?
Now why is? That called clap.
I don't know. Chlamydia.
Did you get the clap? Did you get the clap?
Did you get the clap back? What happens when you have
chlamydia? No idea, me neither, Had an STD

(00:39):
really. Yeah, it's really embarrassing.
Not even HPV. No, I have nothing.
It's really boring and embarrassing.
I like wish I had something likethis once.
I only got HPV, thank God. I don't know if you're supposed
to do that with your left hand, but oh, I'm doing it too.
But I'm a Jew, so it's different.
We're doing the Holy Cross, the God and the whatever Father,

(01:00):
Son, the Holy Spirit, I believe.I don't know.
I wasn't Catholic. I was like, we grew up
religious, but I wasn't Catholicism.
We don't. You don't do this in Christian
Protestant. Should we tell them like the
mindset we're in, the state of mind?
It's a hot, hot summer day. It's a long.

(01:21):
Day folks, it's hot out there today it's and we we've kind of
come to terms with the idea thatit is hard to find.
We don't want to slack on guestsbecause every New Yorker of the
week is New Yorker of the week for a very specific reason to us
and we don't want to just give it to anyone.
It's a very special honor. So we're not just going to give

(01:44):
it to like one random person every week.
We we are very thoughtful in whowe provide.
Yes, exactly. And in order for us to curate
the best list possible, we wouldlike to move this to every other
week. We have a guest every other
week. We do us, we do us.
We're just doing us. And and we've gotten some
feedback, sure. The feedbacks from close friends

(02:07):
that they like listening to justus.
But I kind of feel like that's some honest feedback because
like. Right, but it's coming from our
friends. Yeah, but it's like I, I feel
more than ever like I don't haveto listen to my friends
podcasts. Like I maybe that's maybe that's
a wrong take. Yeah, maybe that's a wrong take,

(02:27):
but like, I feel like, you know,we're all adults.
I do the best I can to support my friends.
But like, you know, your podcasthas to be like, especially
people who know me, Like I listen to a lot of podcasts and
like, it's pretty specifically curated.
So it's kind of like, I can't just be like, adding stuff in to
be supportive. It could mess up my whole day if

(02:47):
you say something crazy. So I kind of feel like for our
friends, and I have friends who don't listen.
So my friends that do choose to listen, right?
And they say like, I really likewhen it's just you 2 girls.
It's like they could listen to anything and they're choosing to
listen to that. That is really true.
We have some really dedicated listeners.
So this it nothing's nothing crazy's happening.

(03:10):
We're not doing a rebrand. There's no new colors.
There's no new colors. You're you're getting everything
the same. It's just that every other week
we're gonna have a guest and then in the off weeks that we
don't have a. Guest, it's gonna be your girls.
It's gonna be your girls. And you know what?
It's not gonna be. There's no guest necessarily.
We're just gonna talk about New York City, our lives, what's

(03:30):
happening. Sure, there might be a
highlight. I have a highlight today.
Or like, if it's like Love Island, where everyone's talking
about it, and then Amaya the star is from New York.
We're gonna talk about that. That's gonna be the epicy.
Yeah. When it's 100° for five days
straight, we might talk about. It we're talking about.
It what's going on, according toGoogle, is that Pete Davidson's

(03:52):
girlfriend is pregnant and we'refinding some scary footage in
Manhattan. We're like, OK, I don't know if
that's us giving our listeners like a really our best, our best
foot forward. Right.
I yeah, I implore everyone to actually I'm not going to even
go into that route. Not we're not going to do that

(04:12):
anyways. But on top of that, I'm at the
end of a really long day. Yeah, I got up at 4:30 AM today
and I went to work and then I had a solo show rehearsal.
And then I almost went to Pilates, which would have taken
me out. But instead I did a dog walk,

(04:33):
which was not good for me either.
Drank a coffee and have now comehere.
So I've been up since 4:30 AM. We're we're approaching 10
things. 10 things. And I haven't had a nap, so I'm
just saying if I'm wacky at all,like chalk it up to the chalk it
up to the day I love. That you say wacky now?
That's I said that the other dayto Claire.

(04:54):
I said that's a Nora word I've taken.
It's interesting, everyone I've ever been friends with has
always said that they've taken on certain language that I, that
I, I guess some kind of like a like a doll.
Like a doll. Like a doll, like a Furby that
just kind of says the same thingover and over.
Again, I feel like you got from me, loser.

(05:16):
Yeah, loser, loser. People have told me that they
say heaven and hell a lot more. I I really.
Like, that's hell. That's the heaven.
Oh, you do say. You do say that a lot.
Oh heaven, I don't think I've taken that on.
But Wacky is one of them. I've taken on wacky, I've taken
on vibe, but I'm trying to get better at not using the word
vibe. I had no idea that was one of

(05:37):
them, and that's a. Big Nora, 'cause she'll be like
it's huge, like didn't sleep vibe or like it's more can I
wait? Can I say what you say on stage
sometimes? What do I say?
What mass shooter vibe? Yeah, I say, I say mass shooter
vibe a lot, but you know exactlywhat I'm talking about.

(05:59):
I. Do I just I personally am on a
journey to. To get away from vibe to.
Remove vibe from my vocabulary because like.
It sounds really uneducated. It's like when I and I see like
brands using it and it just feels like I don't think it's
lazy. I'm whenever you say I'm never
like lazy, but like. There's an event at Orange Terry
this week weekend called Relay Vibes.

(06:20):
Oh no, it's like it's a relay. They should call it mass relay
race. Mass shooter vibes run.
That would really get the peoplegoing, you guys, he's coming.
Faster. And it's a man.
Sorry. Do you want to do our New York
Moments? OK, so anyways, do you want to
do our New York Moments of the week?

(06:41):
Sorry, just yeah. I'm actually trying to think.
I had written down a couple in my Notes app, but I'm trying to
think which one I want to use. Do you know which one you're
using? Yeah.
Oh. Then you go for it.
Why? I think, But obviously I'll be
listening. Yeah, I OK.
I only say that because the one time you said it and I was like,
oh, that was thoughtful. She said that.
Do you remember? I was sharing.
I was like, oh, I'll, I know mine.
I'll share mine. And you were like, OK, I'll

(07:02):
think. I'll think what I want to say
while you go, but don't worry, I'm listening.
And I was like, oh, that's nice.I didn't think you wouldn't, but
that's nice. Yeah, OK.
Cool, cool vibes. It's huge.
Cool vibes. Cool vibes.
OK. I also feel really wacky because
I feel wacky because I feel, I, I feel like I have a little bit

(07:23):
of a heat stroke situation goingon.
I did the whole loop in the parkand not running or anything.
In fact, I think I was walking in like a glacial pace, but I
was, I mean, you just saw me house all those Oreos.
Like that's, I guess that is really me, but I don't know.
Anyways, the other day I'm catching up with a friend where

(07:44):
we haven't talked in a while. This is my friend from DC.
All of a sudden, we're face timing.
There's a man across the street from my house who is lying on
the ground. Looks like he's dead with a
guitar next to him. And people are starting to crowd
around him and say everyone's kind of like what's going on.
Does anyone have what is it called?

(08:05):
Narcan. Yeah.
Anyone have Narcan? Which is?
I didn't have it. It's.
Kind of crazy, like, like reallynot a lot of people would just
have that on. That my mom actually started
carrying it around That tracks that tracks your mom and wolf.
Yeah no. And she's like she's like you
should everyone should and it itactually is really legit like

(08:26):
that is something maybe we that's what you would need like
that would fix the situation yeah.
So people are starting to crowd around.
He's his eyes are like rolled inthe back of his head.
He he kind of looks like, I don't really know.
He's like, he has tattoos on hisface.
He kind of looks like he's been to like one too many fish shows.

(08:48):
Like he's giving that energy, but he's lying on the ground and
we're kind of like, OK, this guyclearly is having an overdose.
He's really scary. So I, I say to Sarah, who I was
talking to on the phone, I was like, I'm sorry, I know we're
just catching up, but there's like a dead man across the
street and I, you know, I'm I. Have to be.
I need to get involved in everyone's like, where's the
mayor? And she's like, I'm coming.
She's always like, I'm coming, I'm coming.

(09:10):
And Sarah's like, no, no, I get it.
You gotta get involved. And so I'm like, OK, I'll call
you back. So we're all crowding around.
I'm talking to someone about it.I'm like, should we call 'cause
the cops, like they're not, they're probably gonna come and
kill him even more so. So we're trying to figure.
Yeah, so we're trying to figure out like what the next step is.
We're all talking. It's like a good like 3 minutes

(09:31):
of people like, you know, congregating around the sky.
All of a sudden he just pops right up and says anyone have a
song request? We were like, are you kidding
me? Fuck you guys.
Like dude, seriously, we've all been like we.
Stopped what we were doing, which take It takes a lot to get

(09:53):
someone in New York to actually pay attention to an emergency on
the street, I'll be honest. And we were like, are you for
real? And he was like, I can play any
song. What?
What's your song request? And I was like, fuck this dude.
And I, I like, start walking away.
I was like, Oh my God. And then I, and then back I, I
hear someone say, you know, if you know any like Simon and

(10:13):
Funko or something. And so it's like, I'm like,
you're really gonna get me. Found like through his little
stunt, he found his perfect audience.
Like a guy who has nowhere to goand actually would like to know
what you can play on guitar. He's like, yeah, you know, do
you know Wagon Wheel? You know, it's like it's, it's
just, it's. You know, Wagon.
Wheel just seems like one of like it's just it's like shoot.

(10:38):
And then I said to you, I was like, should we start like doing
that to get shows? Like we pretend to be dead on
the street. People come up and then they're
we're like, you want to hear my Type 5?
You know we should do we get a venue we book our show?
Faint start. Faint.
Publicly, it starts at 7:00, we're outside at six, we're
fainting. We need them to walk us in, OK?

(11:00):
They get us to our seats. We're like, the bartender's
going to give us water. I'll be right back.
We do this over and over and over again until we've filled
the house from the street. And then we're like, we're we
walk on stage. We're fine.
It's Showtime, baby. Do you wait?
How do you feel about Showtime on the subway?
Showtime I mix feelings I I. Like some people hate when they

(11:23):
get on their train. I if I'm really deep in my book.
And that is hard to have in the back.
Yeah, my time is just like, Oh my.
God, they've got the biggest speaker and they're flipping,
they're doing flips and their shoes are.
Off yeah, I'm. I'm like, genuinely usually
worried that they're going to hit me in the face.
Really. I'm really close.
Like we've gotten really close to people coming to my face and

(11:45):
I'm like that it would really ruin this moment.
There are times. So sure that they're, they're
like, it's so safe. No one's going to get hurt.
And I'm like you really. Like, all it would take was for
the train to like, stop out of nowhere and like someone would
get hurt. Hurt.
Yeah. I mean, Showtime look, like if
I'm on the train and I'm like, accidentally get on with someone

(12:06):
that I'm not really that close with, and then like, we don't
really have a lot to talk about.Thank God it's Showtime.
Thank God it's Showtime. You know again.
Look at that. We can watch that.
Clap for that. Talk about that.
Yeah, or, or or. Like, you know, I'm sitting
there and I don't have my book and my phone's about to die, so
it's I'm not gonna listen to music.
What's next? Showtime The show's coming on

(12:28):
the show's. Coming on.
So this is great, but if there'sliterally anything else to do,
it's kind of a bummer. It's it's, you know me, I'm a
podcast listener. It's like if the podcast is
playing while like they're flipping and jumping and yelling
and playing their music. It's kind of like, OK, I have to
stop the podcast, let me just give Showtime my full attention.
One thing I will do, and this isvery like the Park Slope lady

(12:50):
and me, is if Showtime is actually impressive, I'll be
like you guts. I'll kind of look at everyone
and be like that's that's prettyamazing.
And then like kind of dig into my wallet to find cash, give it
very performatively in front of everyone so that everyone else
kind of to to get the people to kind of get involved.
I'm like. Are you guys afraid to do?
It yeah, like because why is it?Embarrassing to do it, you know

(13:13):
you look like if. You're moved by the show.
Show the artist some work. I mean, some some.
Hey, you dance for them now. If you're moved by Showtime,
show the artist how to your flip.
I used to when I used to drink alot in New York.
I used to when there was like a musical event going on at like
Union Square downstairs or whatever.

(13:34):
I used to kind of like, start dancing.
Going on downstairs, I'm like, that's like underground.
So underway in the subway, therewas a busker like playing a
guitar, like playing any sort ofany sort of music.
I'd kind of like start like dancing a little bit close,
being like, do you want me to godown?
You know, like they're like, no,no, no, no, I'd be like, I'm
coming, I'm coming. I can sing any Janis Joplin song

(13:59):
you want. And they're like, we we don't
even know who that is. And I'm like.
They're like just playing on thewhen they have the buckets.
I could sing Janis Joplin for you.
Any Janis Joplin song named one.I used to have this really,
really bad quality when I was drinking where if there was a
live band, I could make myself seem so beyond sober until an

(14:22):
elaborate lie, which would lead to me playing the guitar, right?
Like I, there's multiple videos of me on stage holding a guitar
and the second they would be like, you know what, sure,
'cause I seem I was like, I'm really fine.
Like my friends are just all here.
Like this would kill them. Like if I just like like play
guitar right now with you guys, like that would kill them.

(14:42):
I'd be like, kill them. I would act like so normal and
then, but I'd be wasted of course.
And then the second I got the guitar, it would like come over
me again and I would be like, unwell.
And I can't play guitar. Just so everyone knows.
And that just used to be like this, this terrible quality,
like this band. Would they?
They've probably been advertising this show, right?
They've been. Practicing this year, you're

(15:04):
ready to play guitar. I'm drawing and I have the
guitar, so now the guitarist looks like an idiot.
They're like, why would you giveyour guitar to this girl?
I'm always saying landslide. That was my specialty.
Oh God, that's really talk abouta.
I know, I see. This is what's funny about So I
have this thing at home where like, I don't like when Wolf
plays sad music because I can't handle feeling sad.

(15:26):
I'm very sensitive. You're bar hopping the
landslide. But like before, I would say
when I was a drinker, like I, I would kind of let myself be sad.
Like at the end of the drinking,I would be fine listening to a
sad song on my way home. I'd cry in public.
Like that was like safe sad. A therapist probably could get

(15:47):
into the depths of that, but. I I there were multiple times
where in DC there's a, there's this bar with a live band and
I've got up and sang with them multiple times and they're a
live night. And I always just like, wow,
that's the best performance I'veever done.
And I, I would kill to see a tape of that.

(16:08):
Or actually, I would kill myselfif I saw a tape of that.
I never I really like I have a Ihave a really hard time looking
back at certain drunk videos 'cause like I still drink and
like get drunk from time to time, but like I do not operate
the way I used to operate in public.
Like I was so unhinged I can't even think about it for too

(16:30):
long. That video I sent you of that
cat coming home on a fox? I didn't watch that.
One, yeah, yeah, you did remember.
It's like the cat riding the Fox's back.
And it's like the caption is like, it's the last video I sent
you on Instagram. You laugh, reacted to it.
Well, it's a cat on a Fox's back.
And this, the woman posted it and is like, my cat's social
circle is out of control. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(16:51):
But that's hilarious. That was funny.
Connected with that, I was like,that was me every night of the
week, probably to my roommate Liam.
Every night I am coming home with a different fox and he's
like. Here it was always coming down.
Oh, she goes, yeah, we should have started a little.
If all else fails, we can start a wedding cover band.

(17:16):
We'll just sing Landslide on repeat.
Landslide and any Janis Joplin song you can name.
And I'll just do the landslide and you'll just.
Do Janet. And that's it.
I don't play any instruments, sowhen I'm done singing Landslide,
I'm not on stage anymore and I don't really like harmonizing.
So you can't be on stage during Landslide?

(17:38):
Shocking because of the improv. I was listening to our other
podcast episode but the improv thing, it's so funny.
It's so crazy. I feel like I'm not.
I feel like, like I feel like what Mike can do, what Mike and
I do is like long form improv and I'm so generous with him.
I feel like I really let him do his thing.
What do you mean Oh, like here? I mean this is kind of long form

(17:59):
improv as well. Yeah, but like I'm like a
character if you're a character and he gives me beforehand, like
in today's episode, I need you to say this or.
This is gonna be OK. Yeah, Yeah.
Yeah, he writes me a couple jokes I have to remember, but
the rest is kind of like, I haveto stay in line with this
persona, whatever. And I'm like, wow, I feel like
I've really changed. Like back in the day, I, I

(18:21):
literally if someone changed thescene and I'd be like.
Shut it down. And now I really kind of like
let my do his thing and I just. That's amazing.
I hook around, she hooks around.It was at a Mets game and I was
kind of looking for that guy, John, but I was like, that's a
little embarrassing. Oh, the guy that recognized you?
Yeah. But I was like, that's gonna

(18:41):
ruin how cool it was that he recognized me.
If I'm like, hey, he's like, OK,It was cool the first time.
Like why are you scared? I.
Don't understand why famous people are always like so
annoyed when you recognize them.It's like it would be so fun.
It's. It never gets old.
Literally the coolest thing that's ever happened to me.
It's like, like you're just walking around and someone knows

(19:04):
you from something creative you did.
Like, that's amazing. Wolf got a message that someone,
when we took Stinky to the vet last, this guy was like, I was
trying to be cool because like, I've been a fan of your comedy
for a while. But like, me and my girlfriend
were there when you and your girlfriend showed up at the vet
with your dog. And he was like, but I didn't

(19:25):
want to bother you guys. Bother, bother.
Come over to us, take our pictures, post it, tag us like
go go the distance on this. Come over for dinner.
You know what? When I met Dorinda, she she
immediately when I met her, I, Iwas, I was nannying and I like
bring the kids in and I said hi and she was like, do you want a

(19:46):
picture? And she's like, if you take it,
if it's cute, post it, tag me. And I was like, wow, that's
amazing. But now I get it.
You want as much proof as possible that people are
recognizing you on this. Treating you like a celebrity?
Well, it's like when Ramona, though she like, shooed away.
I'm a Roberts. Then realized that she was Emma
Roberts and was like, it was so funny.
And then I realized she was EmmaRoberts, so I brought her back.

(20:08):
I'm like, oh God. I'm really like happy for Emma
Roberts cause like how lucky areyou to get to see Ramona being
her full self? You know?
Like she didn't get like Ramona treating her like a celebrity.
She got what it's like to run into Ramona.
I mean, sorry, I'm not the mic. Is so far.

(20:28):
I just, I mean, yeah, I think yeah.
I don't, I don't even know. I I don't know if I wanna see
Ramona right now. I don't think I.
Think we are in very different political paths and I don't
think it would be. I think definitely on different.
I think that she I think like unlike like before it was kind

(20:48):
of like wasn't as maybe it was always bad, but like, I don't
know. I just feel like recently she's
really shown her true colors politically and I'm just like, I
don't know if I could be around her.
It was it. But but but who knows I mean.
And I feel like if you saw. Her.
I mean, if I saw her. Swept up in it.
I'm gonna get sucked. I mean, she probably would shoo

(21:09):
me away. You know, Brian Lundy from work,
he's always like, if I ran into Kim Kardashian, I would like,
lecture her or like, ignore her or yell at her because you think
she's a bad person. It's like, no, you wouldn't.
You would see Kim Kardashian andyou'd be like, Oh my God, and
you would take a picture. I feel like we all, you know, I
of course have people. I mean, political people are

(21:30):
different. Like I don't think I would get
overwhelmed if I saw like a politician, but like a celebrity
who maybe does evil stuff. Like I still think like you
would see them and you just haveyou, you can't help it.
The you'd just be like, Oh my God, there you are.
There you are. There you are that.
'D be a really creepy way to approach Oh my God there.
You are. Oh my God, there you are.

(21:51):
We were talking about who I should.
Collaborate with for my my Rikers book club.
Who's the most in line? Kim Kardashian.
Yeah, she would. You really should reach out to
her. I have no idea how to get a hold
of Kim. Let's think we gotta OK, if you
have a New York is there's always someone who knows someone

(22:14):
who knows. Like if you if we really wanted
to get a hold of Kim, I bet we have a friend who used to intern
for APR company that maybe didn't add for Skims and knows
her agent. You know what I mean?
Yeah, like let's think about this.
Or even someone who was a caterer, I.
Need AI? Need a big donor to make this my
full time job. She she would be ideal.

(22:37):
She would really enjoy it as well.
She would, and it'd be good for her because I feel like she for
her, it would be good for her. No, it would be really good for
her image too. Like, of course you should do it
because it's good for other people.
Yeah, but like, she kind of needs some good PR right now.
Really, what's going on right now?
Because. Ever since they went to the
Bezos wedding. Yeah.

(22:57):
And they posed her last, like, photo shoot she did.
She's like, posing with like, robots and Teslas.
She's kind of saying, like, I stand with the billionaires, not
the people. But then she wants us to believe
her when she's trying to, like, free people from prison.
And it's like, Kim, like, I don't know, you're kind of
working for and against here. You know you can't have.
It all. You can't have it all.
Kris was really pissing me off. Kris Kardash.

(23:19):
Kris. Kris Jenner.
Sorry. Kris Kardashian.
Sorry I'm. Really.
Stepdad's name? I thought you were like really
out of. Saying no, no Kris, Kris Jenner
was really pissing me off because the comment under the
Bezos post, I was like, are you fucking kidding me, dude?
Have you seen her face though? Can I be on?

(23:43):
There you Her face is crazy. Her, her, the work that she has
done. What do you think?
What do you even do to get that done?
It's kind of like. It's like a.
Mole I guess there's a lot of pride in aging gracefully
without getting work done, but like, why would you do that when
this? Is a video.
It's kind of giving like misses doubtfire.

(24:05):
No, it's giving. Misses like the young fire
misses, Yeah, misses young fire.But like in terms of sleep
deprived? Ask me quick on my.
Feet. No.
The misses it is giving. What would you say?
Misses young fire. Misses young fire because it's
like, it kind of feels like she wakes I can.
Never. Forget she wakes up and it feels
like she pastes it on her face. Doesn't feel real.

(24:28):
God, Kim's never gonna support my the club now.
We're going so hard on her. Kim's not listening to the
podcast. OK, no, I know, but she might go
backwards. It's it's rumored that Chloe
listens to a lot of podcasts. Because she has her own podcast.
So she's, she, I feel a little maybe similar to Chloe like
that. Like Chloe is definitely, she
doesn't like to feel her feelings, you know, she's very

(24:50):
anxious, very avoidant, stuff like that.
So she's probably doing what I'mdoing where she's just playing
voices around the house all the time.
But like, I listened to a coupleof podcasts where like they were
like our manager told us that like Chloe apparently in an
interview mentioned us and I heard another podcast say it
too. So Chloe's like listening to
podcasts. So we used to get on Clothes
Radar. It just like accidentally winked

(25:12):
at the camera. But with both eyes.
No, I think maybe with one or. 2Interesting interesting.
What was your WE? Should we should do a photo
shoot in whatever her Jean line is and just try to get it to
her? Hannah, we could do it right
now. I have a ton of her jeans.
What brand? Is it?
Good American. Are they good?

(25:33):
They're really good. And you know, I'm like a walking
ambassador for SKIMS. I hate to say it, but they're
some of the best jeans I've everhad.
Really. And they're not jeggings.
No, I have all the jeans I wear recently.
Good American. My New York moment of the week
is for I just feel like this because I've been thinking of
which one I wanted to do and then you saying the jeans.

(25:55):
I was like, it's so clear I haveto do this because I don't even
know how. I haven't told you this.
My most New York moment of the week is crying in Old Navy to
the point that they gave me $20.20 like 20 little pieces of
cash of Old Navy cash. Wait.

(26:16):
Why were you crying? It was a pretty dark day.
It was a it was a another long day for me where I'm finding and
this is an interesting so I won't go into this for too long.
This would be more for us offline.
I'm finding that with my currentwork schedule it's kind of hard
to do anything before or after other than just like work out

(26:39):
like. That's how I feel with any nine
to five job. It's just like, but these like,
it's like, OK, oh, it's. Any job, really.
It's like, oh, the perk of the 5:30 shift because you're out at
1:15, but it's like, but you're exhausted and you can't do
anything. And it's like, oh, the perk of
the 1:15, it's like, but what's happening before 1:15 PM?
Like just a workout. Like, I mean, it's the same

(26:59):
thing with 9:00 to 5:00. It's like the perk of a nine to
five as it ends at 5:00, but then you're I have to depleted.
The end of the so it's like I'm finding like with nannying, I
didn't have to get there till 3.So I truly had like time to wake
up, workout, shower, breakfast and chill, work on other stuff
and lunch before I even had to leave the house.

(27:21):
Where this is I'm I'm losing a couple hours and I haven't quite
figured it out. And now I have a dog so that he
kind of like adds he's a little extra work in there.
But anyway, it was a long day and I don't know if you recall,
and I'll retell it very quickly,that I bought jeans at Old Navy
and I they didn't fit right. So I brought them back and they
told me that they have a new return policy.

(27:42):
You have to bring it back within30 days.
If not, they cannot give you, which you used to bring stuff
back to Old Navy. Five years later, they'll give
you store credit. They don't care, right?
No, 30 days. You need to bring it back within
those 30 days to get a refund orstore credit.
So I'm like, what am I supposed to do?
Both jeans were $50. This is $100 worth of Old Navy
merch right here. Merch.

(28:04):
But like they were like, take ithome.
We can't accept it. Come back a different day, go
shopping, and then just exchangethese and we'll take whatever
they cost off of your order. So you, you put together $150.00
worth of stuff. You give us the jeans, $100 off,
$50.00. I was like, oh, OK, so it is
kind of like store credit. I just have to bring the jeans.

(28:27):
You're not going to give me a card?
And they're like, yeah, it just holds people accountable.
And I was like, OK, he doesn't give me any freaking timeline.
OK. So I waited a couple months,
'cause he's like, this is the new policy 30 days to return.
But after that, the exchange, hedoesn't give me any timeline,
right? So I, I go to Old Navy.
This is post critter. You know, I'm feeling I have

(28:47):
guidance. I go to Old Navy.
I spend quite a bit of time in there trying Stefan shopping,
going to literally no more than $20 over the cost of jeans.
I'm like $120.00 in product is just going to come out to like
20 bucks. This is amazing, right?
I wait in one of the longest lines I've ever waited in.

(29:08):
The line is pretty long behind me as well.
So I'm not excited to 'cause I don't want to cause any problems
at the register, right? I go up, they check it out and I
say, oh, and just so you know, like I'm doing an exchange, like
I know that you don't have the 30 day anymore, but I have my
jeans like, Oh yeah, yeah, just pull up the receipt, right?
And this woman who in my opinion, it was none of her

(29:29):
business. I'm at one register with this
woman, next register over. She was like, make sure to check
the date on that receipt. OK, Thank you, thank you.
Not interested in that. Whatever.
And that just felt a a little out of line.
And whatever she's checking out,she rings me up.
She's like, it's 1:20, we'll subtract the jeans.
She was like looking at the receipt.

(29:49):
And then the lady's like, don't forget to check the date.
And then she was like, oh, it's from like, it's from like April,
'cause it was OK, 'cause I brought it back in like mid-May
and that was too long. And now it's July.
And she was like, sorry, that's like way too old.
We can't do it. And I was like, hold on, hold
on, hold on. I don't know what his name was.
He said he was the manager here.He never gave me a time.

(30:10):
And she was like, well, the managers are in a four hour
meeting and I don't know when they're going to come out.
And she was like, but maybe you could wait around.
I was like, obviously I can't wait around.
And she was like, and these jeans are now discounted so we
can only give you the discount back.
And I was like, wait, what do you mean?
I bought these at full price. Since when is that a rule where
like if now they're on sale, youonly get the sale back And I'm

(30:31):
like, I know you have a long line.
I'm not trying to cause like anyissue.
But like this manager told me notimeline.
He just said bring them back andwe'll exchange it.
I was like, I would not have puttogether another $100 worth of
stuff. Like I, I am already frustrated
I didn't get my $100 back when Itried to return these in May.
Now I've waited, I was told thisand they're like, there's

(30:53):
nothing we can do. And they're like, we can try to
give you a little discount on the order.
So I took a couple things off the order.
I took their discount. I take the stuff.
I'm feeling upset. I start walking out the door,
the beeper goes off, security guards go in front of me.
They didn't take the things off because of all the debacle.
I come back in, I go out again, it beeps again.
So now I'm starting to tear up and they're like, you left your

(31:15):
jeans. We don't want your jeans.
Like you can't leave these here.I was like, they don't fit me
and I really want to leave and Idon't have like extra money.
Like I really like, it was a splurge when I bought those
jeans and they were like, well, we need to check your bag again.
They're being like, really? And I'm like also like I've
stolen so many times in my life and like never get flagged.
And then like I have the most honest interaction in Old Navy

(31:37):
and security stopped me twice. And then I go in and I'm crying
in front of her and in front of the whole line, right?
2 cashiers on me. I'm crying, they're checking my
bag. And then she was like, I'm
sorry. And she's the one who kind of
caused the issue. So she's feeling bad.
I was like, so OK, I like, I really can't.
I don't know why I'm crying about it.
And she goes, here you go. It was like the biggest stack of

(32:00):
Old Navy cash. And she was like, use it however
you want. She was like, but check the date
because she knows I'm clearly not good with dates.
But that was like the most like,it's just like, it's so us to
have an issue like that in the Old Navy.
It's so it's so New York to justcry in public, and it's so New
York to have like an older womanwho works at Old Navy give you a

(32:22):
pile of coupons and hope that'llfix your day.
You have to spend a certain amount to even use those
coupons, correct? Yeah.
And then of course, I come up with a scheme.
I'm like, this is what I'm goingto do tomorrow.
I'm going to return the jeans, OK, and all of those.
I'm going to return my stuff right there the next day.
And then I'm going to go pick itup again and buy it with the

(32:42):
cash. That's my big plan to get money
back. Like I'll get the full refund of
what I spent $70.00, right? And then I'll put together this
was gonna this was no, this was gonna be, I was gonna lose hours
doing this norm, because I was gonna have to then return and
then kill time in the store until there's a new cashier.
This is my big plan. I was telling Brian he was like,
it's really not worth it. Thank God I checked the Super

(33:04):
cash. I wouldn't have gotten any money
off. Really.
Yeah, I would have gotten like $10 off with the price.
I'm out. God, but I was really trying to
get some money back 'cause now Ijust at 2 separate times spent
$100 at Old Navy when I I only wanted to do it one time.
Yeah, they were tough. I'm not gonna lie.
I won't be in that store for a little bit.

(33:26):
Like a month. Maybe 2 'cause it was like the
first time I. You in the.
Fall. I'll see you guys when you come
out with your fall collection, but you won't see me there
shopping your summer merch anymore.
They have amazing lingerie rightnow.
Online, Online, online, online lingerie.
Yeah. Old Navy?
What is it? Flannel.
Nope. It's like lace.

(33:47):
What? And it's like.
Is there's not gap? Nope, it's Old Navy.
Old Navy lingerie, you heard it here first.
This is shocking. And they're keeping that to
themselves. They're really they're not
actually. It's all over online if you
follow Old Navy, but it sounds like you don't really want to
follow them right now. You.

(34:09):
Can't. It's just And you know what?
Really. And I don't blame you.
I mean when you have a terrible experience at a place where that
you call home. Seriously.
Like we spend. So much time there I spend.
So I, I, I swear I've spent probably an equal amount of time
at Old Navy that I have at like a doctor's office taking care of
myself. People are having conversations
like this is like since high school about like where to get

(34:29):
good genes, where to get good basic we've.
Said what we needed to say. Get good.
Workout calls. I'm always saying like, you need
to go to Old Navy. They have basics and they're
affordable and their sizes make sense.
You won't have body dysmorphia. Like I'm always pushing this
brand and then this. This is how they repay me.
They're going to repay you. It's really fun.
It's so it's insane and. The worst was like, I just like,

(34:51):
I get it. I've worked customer service
jobs. I'm still in a customer service
job, but like I've worked those jobs that are just like really
hard, really exhausting. People are really mean to you
and you don't even get paid well, right?
It's like, it is like it's awful.
Sometimes someone comes in with an issue and like you just can't
deal with it. And the answer is no.
They have like all these these cute.

(35:15):
This is normal underwear. No, look at this.
OK, those are lace. Those are lace.
These are cute. These are these.
This is cute. That is pretty cute.
Yeah, I mean, I know this isn't.Cute.
That's pretty cute. You wear that out.
Look how cute this is. Uh oh.
Well, we'll have to Sean, if youcan.
I think this is. Adorable.

(35:36):
I have to start. Look at the Sea foam.
Sea Foam, Yeah, they have amazing stuff right now.
But I mean, it sounds like we shouldn't be promoting them for
the moment. I mean, if they wanna if they
wanna call me and be like, were you really sorry?
No, I want whatever that manager's name was.
I swear to God, his name was Jason.
But when I said Jason, they saidno one works.

(35:56):
Your name Jason. I was like, OK, well, I guess I
got played by someone named Jason.
I just want the manager like that's pretty cute.
I just want the manager who toldme like come back whenever bring
those to show his face. Like I just want him to say I'm
sorry. This is literally verbatim the
Skims outfit. Yes, it is.
That's insane, how much is it Old Navy $22.00 for the?

(36:20):
Brawler for the brawler. I don't be fooled by those.
By the way, though I bought thatfull set from Skims.
Yeah, it was not for someone like me.
It here's the thing and I've actually wanted to bring this up
OK, and I understand this might not make a podcast episode
because we're like online shopping right now, but I.
And I just like, slurped. But here's the thing, you know

(36:43):
those those shorts that are NikePro on the top with the little
band around show you a certain type of person who can wear
those? It's gonna be fucking annoying.
You have almost nothing on. Your you have to have no body
fat to have those. And every time I see them, I'm
like, we get it, OK, You get to wear the Nike Pro shorts and

(37:04):
similar to the Nike Pro, Skims is coming out with this
waistband that's tiny. It's like it's not gonna look
good on anyone unless you have no belly.
Fat I bought this set and one I forgot about my boobs like I
forgot that like they don't sit the way kims do yeah cuz I'm
really like you think you're smarter than marketing, but

(37:25):
you're. Not you're clutching onto my
time. Hair is so funny.
I need that right now. Like, you see, like, you think
you're not going to see a model and think like, oh, that's what
I'll look like. Yeah, but you kind of do.
You have a moment where you're like, oh, her boobs look great,
but it's like, Hannah, you don'thave those boobs.
Right. So like the V?
Line bralettes don't look good on me because my boobs are need

(37:47):
more support right And then thatwaistband is awful like in the
middle of my stomach. So if you have anything,
anything and in your lower stomach, that's pretty much the
highlight of the show here. And the crazy thing is that even
with like the plus size models, like here I'll show you this
girl, even with this girl, she doesn't have a stomach.

(38:10):
And you know what? You ready for both shoes?
And I'm ready. I need them to grow up and show
me what you look like sitting down in these little outfits.
Sit down. Because they make it seem like
these are like little undie setsyou can wear around the house.
But like, you cannot be. This is not something you could.
I could not get my mail in one of these outfits.

(38:31):
My neighbors would be appalled. Yeah, if they saw me in the V
line bralette and the little undies.
But they show these women wearing just like socks.
They're oversized like button upand these underwear like walking
the dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then someone would call the copsif I walked the dog in that
outfit. What's the weirdest way you've

(38:52):
left your house? Like in terms of like last
minute outfits, last minute, notlike outfits, but like you're,
you're at home and like there's a fire in the kitchen.
You got to get out. Oh OK, OK cuz I actually.
What are you wearing? I would say I've left the house
and pretty appalling stuff to walk stinky.
That's what I'm saying, kind of.It doesn't have to be a fire in
the. Hole I I would say more times

(39:12):
than I am proud of, I have left the house with no underwear or
bra on, just AT shirt that goes down to my knees and slippers.
Just hoping I'm not running intosomeone.
Yeah, 'cause. It's a sacred space.
It's never my morning walk or, like, my midday walk.
But like, if it's like 10 PM, 11:00 PM, even later, and

(39:32):
Stinky's like, scratching at thedoor and it's like, he's got to
go. But like, we're just going to
the curb. And, like, from first glance,
you wouldn't know of going commando and have no bra and
like, you don't know if a strongbreeze has come.
Yeah, stop everything, but I know exactly what it is.
What is it? Stop the phone.
In the middle of winter once. Yeah, I this is when Stinky had

(39:55):
diarrhea and he's. I'm getting out of the shower
and I'm trying to have a relaxing night.
I thought he was done. He starts like whining and
scratching and biting. So I'm like, I gotta go.
I'm fully naked, my hair is wet and I put on my longest winter
coat and I zip it up and I put on my socks and I put on my

(40:16):
slippers and go outside and to the untrained eye I'm just in a
coat and slippers walk little. Do you know?
If that coat for some reason I have literally nothing on
underneath. That's kind of like a that's
kind of like a porno. It's 100.
Percent like oh cold winter night.
Whoopsies. It's really crazy to walk around

(40:36):
a winter and feel the winter breeze on your vagina.
It is. That is a crazy feeling, really.
Nutty. And it's like you almost want to
tell people like, I'm so close on.
Like don't, don't bother me. But then it's like then I'm
going to get. Arrested and walk around I have
a close on. I ran down the street the other

day after a U PS (40:52):
person and because they they were dropping
off my new phone and they kept ringing the doorbell but they
couldn't get in the second door.So they left with that so.
They left and I was like no and I ran out and I just had a long
T-shirt on underwear. I was wearing my little furry
slippers and ran them down the and I was like hey, hey, hey.

(41:13):
And he was like, all right, comehere, sign it like no
recognition for the fact that I was naked.
You can. You can really be yourself in
this city. You really can and.
That's why I hate when I get in my head about what people think.
It's like in New York, I care what people think.
You know what I mean? Do.
Whatever you want in this city. Do you?
Do you 2002 want? It do you do you 2002.

(41:45):
Let's think of one more rhyme. Do you 2002 you too tag?
You know what, Speaking of, so I'm how long?
Have we been recording just one minute?
41 minutes. Just 42 minutes.
OK, great. Just one having flies with you.
It really it was clutching onto my childhood teddy bear and

(42:08):
looking at me and saying 10 flies with you.
Well, we also for more transparency, we haven't like
hung out since Nora's been back.We've just seen each other like
in passing totally. And I was listening to that Abby
and Alana episode and they were like, we didn't, but we don't
hang out. We don't we don't record until
we get into the sessions of Monday through Friday, recording
every day. I don't know, but that's how

(42:30):
Abby and because I was kind of worried because I was listening.
Surprised to me. I was listening to the episode
of the Abby and Alana on Amy Poehler, and they were talking
about like, having having boundaries between working and
hanging out and with the question was, how do you guys
preserve your friendship while also working together?
And they, they were like, well, when we were recording Broad

(42:52):
City, we actually didn't really like, hang out.
We would text and stuff. But like, when we were done
recording, we kind of just parted ways and had our own
lives. I was like, I hope Hannah
doesn't get any ideas here because we're not recording
every day. OK, Yeah.
And until that happens, we stillhave to add in some hangs.
We have to add in some hangs, especially because most, most
times that I come record, I do feel like the bearer of bad

(43:16):
news. I'm always like I'm leaving.
Yeah, you're always like, let's make this quick in and out,
Don't let's bang it out. I even the worst is to bang it
out. I texted before and I'm like,
just so you know, I'm leaving her right afterwards.
But it's never, never because I don't want to hang.
No, it is always because I am Queen of like.

(43:39):
Because she's queen, she's got to get out.
She's queen, the queen. She's part of royalty.
She's got to get the fuck out ofhere.
I am queen of falling for the hang and being like, OK, I'm
staying and not with you, with like everyone, you know, like
people are like, want to get onemore drink?
They're like, should we get a bite?
Should we see a movie? And I'm like, I'm there, I'm
there, I'm there. And then I get home and I am in
a sour mood because I'm like, I have stuff to do.

(43:59):
Oh, I left this there, the dog. And then I'm in and then I'm in
like a stinky mood at home. So I'm trying to be better of
like, if I say not here because this is fine.
But like if I say I'm like, leave, I'm not drinking at this
party and I'm leaving at 9. I really like, I'm trying to be
someone who's like, I'm not drinking this party and I'm
leaving at 9:00 because I'm going to get home and do XYZ

(44:22):
because don't you feel like, I feel like life is like a mess
right now a little bit like I'm trying, I'm trying to like reel
it in a little bit. Yeah, I'm trying.
I'm I'm kind of trying to let loose a little bit more and let
let just because I feel like every time I've been unemployed,
I've so every day I've been waking up and I have a very

(44:43):
strict schedule for myself to keep myself motivated.
Like I'm trying to apply to a minimum one job a day.
I have to work out in some capacity.
It doesn't need to be like a crazy workout, just has to be
some sort of movement. And I want to write in my
journal and I want to try to message someone on LinkedIn to,
like, figure something out, you know, and then do one thing

(45:05):
related to comedy. Like those are my goals.
That's a lot, and it's a. Lot in the day and it's
sometimes and then today I came home from yoga box, which is
where I've been picking up shifts and I was so tired and I
was like, I can't nap. I gotta write in my journal and
then I gotta do something for comedy.
And I was like, you know what? You know what?
I think I. Want to follow you on this
because. I'm, I'm going to look back, I'm

(45:27):
going to have a job soon hopefully and I'm going to look
back and be like, shit, why wasn't I napping sometimes?
Yeah, like we're, I'm like one day and I have like the our
dream jobs that are going to require so much time.
And it's going to be like I've been my my thing that I've been
doing since May is I write weekly goals, right?
Like 1 is comedy, one is fitnessand one is personal.

(45:48):
It's so intense and it's like 1 the fitness 1 is getting out of.
Control One is the fitness, the weekly fitness goal, the ghost.
It's like a certainly. 2 Orange Siri 2 OK one outdoor run, three
outdoor walks. And it's like, right, Could she
could, could you relax? Like I know it's like, can we
just like drift? Off and now I'm like, oh, maybe

(46:09):
I need my Peloton back because Idon't have time to go to all
these. It's like you don't you hurt
your back on the Peloton and that's how we got all the way
here like relaxed. It's crazy.
And then my comedy, my comedy goals are pretty much like every
week. Make it.
Make it. Do it.
This week you need to blow up big time and it's like I need to
and then I feel stressed. Next week I'm actually going to

(46:30):
take a page out of your book. Next week I'm going to make like
one fitness goal and I'm going to make one comedy goal and one
personal goal because then I'll be proud of myself.
I did it all and I'll probably do more.
Totally end of every week. You want to know what I do?
Shame yourself. The things I didn't do and then
I think to myself like you need more time next week.

(46:51):
It's like or maybe 3 Pilates, 2 orange series, four solo outdoor
walks in a run is a little much.It's a little much, little much.
It's a little much. And I don't even count my long
stinky walks as my outdoor walks.
I I'm really, that's really crazy.
Yeah. I I signed up for a Bringer
show. I don't know if you saw my post,
but I no, I didn't. I had to.

(47:13):
So I posted online. It's in August.
I'm screaming. I said, my God, I'm really
trying to hone in on it. Instagram knows I wanna see you
so like normally. You're actually really gonna
like this was me as a baby. I just did a couple.
That's actually weird because every time I refresh Instagram
it's I don't know what. It is.
I just posted it today my. First story and if you've

(47:34):
posted, you're my first post. I literally just did it like
this afternoon because the guy is like sending me death threats
that if I don't bring people, it's on the 2nd.
It's it's just one of the many tricksters.
You know, it's not gonna I'm gonna whatever.
Anyways, I'm, I'm trying, yeah. And I, I hate to go back to a

(47:55):
bringer thing because I did thisalready.
I did this with Broadway comedy and I got onto the new comedians
on the thing and it didn't bringme anywhere.
So I'm just kind of like, and I made all my friends comment.
It was so embarrassing. And it's not embarrassing, it's
just kind of, it was just so expensive for them and it's just
like, it's just annoying to haveto ask anyways.

(48:16):
But I but I'm, I'm like, OK Nora, I'll do one.
I'll do one anyways. But then I was like freaking out
that people weren't gonna come. So I was like, OK, I'll just
post a little thing being like, here's some shows.
But I do feel like today, even just doing that alone can be my
comedy thing for the day. But I was like, no, no, no, you

(48:38):
get that notebook out, Nora, andyou start writing because that's
not even half the goal. But like, the whole day was me
going back and forth with this guy and like, it was kind of
hell yeah. And I was like, trying to make
nice conversation with him, being like, Oh yeah, I took
like, Ashley Austin Morris's class, like at Manhattan Comedy
School, like, blah, blah. He said, OK, bring 5 people.

(48:59):
It's just like, all right, it's.Crazy that like they've never
changed. Like years before I started they
were acting like that. Now, years after they'll do
that. We'll be we'll be dead and gone.
They'll Andy will be alive somehow.
So the craziest thing that I have to say about this whole
system is why are these guys running?

(49:23):
Who? OK, because I believe they're.
Owners of the club. But who, who is going to the
clubs? Because I did, I did a show.
So I did the show at Broadway Comedy Club and I got on to the
next round or whatever and they,they poked me for a show once
and I didn't have to bring anyone Amazing.
And there were randoms there. Yeah.

(49:44):
Who are those people? Well, I feel.
Like I feel like I was kind of looking around.
I was like, why are you here? When I, I feel like when people
like more touristy people or people who are just looking
like, oh, we should do like, what are we gonna do tonight?
I feel like those are the clubs that come up on their list to go
to. So it's kind of like, it's like

(50:05):
tourists and people who like arebored and maybe New Yorkers who
don't know where to find the comedy shows, you know?
And it's like, I guess I'm the same kind of like current clubs
that put on better shows than and others.
But it's like if you search comedy near me, they're not
gonna show you like Union Hall. They're not gonna show you that.
They're not gonna show you like a cool bar that like randomly

(50:25):
has an amazing show going at it.Yeah, I'm gonna.
Show you Andy. And I'll never forget cuz he's
not gonna listen to those. I will never forget the time
that I this is what, 2 years ago, I had taken a class at
Manhattan Comedy School and the first day of class he brings us
into the Gotham Gotham Hall or theater or whatever it is it's.

(50:49):
Like Batman bathroom. Gotham Hall.
And he sits us down. He says, look at that stage.
That could be you someday. You know who comes in here all
the time, 123? Jerry Seinfeld and.
Comes in here all the time, loves to practice new material.
Then he starts listing every other guy in comedy that he

(51:09):
knows, has spoken to, has had a conversation with who might have
played at Gotham, but who might will, who might.
Eventually he's throwing out Louis CK and this is like post
Louis CK masturbation. It's like every man you might be
afraid to run into it's gonna behere.
It's like. Every single comedian and he's
going on and on and he sits, he sits us down.
So the entire class and we're just sitting there and we're

(51:32):
listening to him list off comedians and he does not
mention one woman and. Finally, I raised my probably
feeling really good about himself.
He's like, he's probably hyping these kids up.
And I raise my hand and I say, have you had any women here?
And he said, you know, women areamazing comedians.
They, you know, we've had some really great people in this area

(51:56):
have you know, Ellen DeGeneres is a great comedian.
And that's such a. Lie.
That was from like 1970. And she's never done Gotham.
I would bet my life on that. She doesn't know who Andy is.
I was like anyone else. Anyone else.
Ellen DeGeneres. And then he said Rosie
O'Donnell. OK.
Well, that one, that one. That one we agree with.
Good, good. That's a good reference.
It's a good. But I was like, wow, he just,

(52:19):
that's it. That's all you got there.
Ellen and Rose. You smile like we were taking a
class. With a woman.
With a woman you could have named her and she performs all
the time I got. This all you say was like your
teacher is one of the best we have and that would have been
like, all right, I believe finally I misunderstood, you
know what I mean, but he. Listed like at least 15 man
comics and they were all white dudes.
Man. Comic Man.

(52:40):
Comic And I was just like, are you?
You're kidding me, Ellen DeGeneres.
That's she's like, funny. Ellen DeGeneres is a great
female comic and I was like, OK,and has she ever been to?
So that was 92. So now it's 2023.
Does Jerry Seinfeld even go to Gotham ever?
I don't. Know, but Gotham was my first

(53:01):
bringer show and I sometimes, actually a lot of times I think
about what would have happened if I accepted Andy's offer,
which was after my first show, Andy pulled me aside and said he
would like to be my manager and I was so new honestly.
So new you should. Follow up on that, I'm not going

(53:21):
to lie, he's a pusher and he gets to.
She's pretty intense. He seems connected.
Even if you don't want to be, he's connected to you.
I don't know. It's it's one of those things
like the butterfly effect. Like I'd rather be with Rich.
I just am like, do you know Rich?
Yeah. I'm just like, what would my
life be? And like, would people think
it's cool Andy's my manager? Would they be like?

(53:43):
What? Well, Jerry Seinfeld would be at
your house every day. Whether you like it or not,
that's a guarantee. I think you should follow up
with Andy. Be like, hey, maybe I should lie
and be like, some stuff happenedand I had to take a hiatus from
comedy. I'm getting back into it now.
I know that you mentioned management before.
What would that look like like? Done.
What is the harm in sending in? He'd be like.

(54:04):
He'd be like bring 5 people tomorrow and then maybe you
could meet Jerry Bitch. I don't know why.
I don't know why he'd call me Bitch, but he wouldn't.
I swear and I even asked I said is there a promo code for me to
extend to my friends and family for the show?
Cuz you have the tickets are like $70.
And I'm like, no, not actually. I was like, Oh my God, it's.

(54:24):
Expensive and it's, you know, it's.
Like it's 2 drinks minimum when you get there.
It's annoying and he says just runs no.
It's like, all right, Doug, giveit to your friends, Enora, give
it to your family. And normally, and I've seen this
happen before with other comics,like Nick once offered to pay
for me to come to his Bringer show.

(54:45):
And I think that's a nice, you don't have to do it all the
time, but I think that is a nicething to be like, hey, I'm
gonna, I need eight people. Usually it's 8.
Which is really out of control. It's like that's only good if
you work at like a corporate jobwhere they're like dying to see
you. But like even then you don't
want them to see you. I there is no one.

(55:06):
I mean, I have a couple of people.
My neighbors are coming. So it's like, yeah, yeah.
I mean, yeah, you got to sign upand get.
Your answer, I'll pull Andy aside.
And be like, hey baby, hey baby girl.
You Remember Me? You Remember Me?
Wow, I'm. Ready I'm ready to take you up.
Maybe I should just be like really like I feel like a man

(55:27):
would do this but would be like sorry it took me so long.
I would like you to be my manager.
Just accept the offer and see ifyou just managing me.
I was talking to Bailey, which is she's, she's one of the
people that set me up on the show.
And she does, she does Mike's. You've probably met her before.
She's been, she's been to a bunch of the mics that we go to,

(55:49):
but she said that she's been talking to Andy about these,
these Springer shows. And she was, he was like, he was
like, well, if you want stage time, Bailey, you had to do
this. And she was kind of like Andy,
I've been performing and he's like where?
And she's like, I perform at I performed at Westside Comedy
Club. I performed at Saint Mark's.

(56:10):
And he's like with who, who set you up with that?
She's like, there's other peoplelike letting me in.
I I perform shows in Brooklyn and he's like, oh, OK, well, if
you want Gotham. This is what you do you want to
do and. It was like he was so shocked
he. He, Andy, is existing within the
time of just like bringers and comedians who just stand in the

(56:32):
back begging for stage time. He thinks when you walk off his
stage he probably is like, well,she'll do nothing until she's.
Back like welcome. To no mics, no writing, no
shows. She'll just failure.
She'll wait for my call. Welcome to failure.
I mean, I'm who knows? I don't know the failure, all
right. I have to.
We're really. We're, I will say for listeners,

(56:53):
yes, this was a little bit of this.
Was awesome. You guys are so lucky.
I mean, it was really funny, youguys.
Are so lucky. I didn't know.
I don't know. I just read that.
It is how I kind of feel. There was a belly that rocked.

(57:19):
I love you, Hannah. I love you.
OK, this is this is an episode that rocked and you are lucky to
even listen and you're welcome. Andy, this is for you.
Andy, this is for you. I don't even know how we got
here. Yeah, but we have such a good
guest. Really, really really new.

(57:40):
Yorker of the Year. I mean, like, it's yeah, New
Yorker of the Year. I want to make sure everyone
here is that New Yorker of the Year.
We want everyone to hear. Every single person to know
she's New Yorker of the year, she's an icon.
And I'm so excited to reveal whoit is.
Cuz it you. Buckle up, babes.
Buckle up. All right?
Love you, Hannah. Love you.
Bye bye.