November 6, 2025 • 35 mins
It’s a Just Us week and yes, Hanna and Nora showed up in matching puffy red coats. Coincidence? Cosmic alignment? Old Navy dreams? You decide. Tune in for another round of deeply necessary NYC observations, mildly chaotic tangents, and the kind of conversation that can only happen when two comedians accidentally dress like chic fire hydrants.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:23):
I hope maybe we don't use that. We're off to the races, off to
the races. Well, what did you think?
Have you seen? You're off to the races.
Have you seen how I've been trying different things for just
Us cover art? Yes.
Like I love it. The screenshot of just us while
we're talking is too big to the point where when it's fully fits
(00:46):
the spot of the Instagram post, it's mostly just table because
of the distance and it's being filmed like this.
So that's why I was like, oh, ifwe pose, leaning in, smiling,
that can be the cover. With these puffers on, well,
it's not. Notice anything about us?
Do you notice anything perhaps different?
Different about us, yeah, we gotthese we got matching jackets
(01:13):
among other things that. Are also matching that we'll be
wearing a lot. We were being really drawn to a
lot of the same things while at Old Navy yesterday.
Oh yeah, I I realize we kind of have the same style a little
bit. Mine's a little mine's AII would
say. Mine's sometimes a little more
grungy, I think like a little more like punk fem.
(01:34):
Yeah. And I would.
Never describe myself as punk. Fem, yeah, but but we have we
have very similar. Styles, I think we're also drawn
to the same thing. Yeah, yeah.
Like I'll see you wearing something and I'll be like,
where'd you get that? And I feel like you do the same
with me. Like, I think there's a similar
style and look, we're both like,yeah, I want to have that.
And so, you know, one thing led to another and we're in the red
(01:56):
puffer. The red puffer was kind of an so
Old Navy was having one of its famous like old.
Navy. Take it for free sale.
Every day they're like, do you have Super Cat?
Hailed Navy fans. Oh, they said the Old Navy fan
ad while Nora was there and she came to she came to life.
I. Tried to that was a.
Special day at the Old Navy. I got to a point yesterday where
(02:18):
like I didn't even realize people were around us.
I was just like in I was trying on bras like over my shirt like
not worried at all. You.
Did really go there? You went there.
And at one point I just dropped my bags and was just walking
around trying on different. Sweaters.
When you're at Old Navy, you're family and you you can just kind
of like. Move around.
Yeah, because, and I don't, unless you're trying on jeans,
(02:40):
I'm starting to feel like you don't need to go to a changing
room. Oh yeah, with that Old Navy,
like, no, you don't need to. Jeans and jeans and dresses.
Yeah. You need to feel that on your
body. You can't do that over leggings.
You can't do that over a coat. Yeah, but like, the shirts, the
pajama pants, like, Yeah, the jackets.
Yeah. So it's OK.
We both got the red puffer. I'm unfortunately wearing green
(03:02):
pants right now which makes me look a little Christmassy but.
That was kind of the vibe in OldNavy, that was.
Also, the vibe. I was wearing these pants
yesterday too, and then we went to just selling.
That's where things took a turn for the.
Worst. Yeah.
God, it was good to know it wasn't.
Can't even think about. That in there, really.
(03:23):
Yeah, there was a lot of dressing.
When you say medium dressing, let's make it medium.
Salad dressing, too much milk inthe coffee.
There's just a couple things that it's like the whole thing's
ruined. I think there needs to be.
We need to have more of a measuring system.
So like if you're say medium salad, I think you only get like
(03:46):
a certain number of tablespoons of dressing and they like weigh
it out. It seemed to be.
And same the looking and the same with same with the with the
with the oatmeal milk. Or milk.
Sorry. For me it's.
Oatmeal drinks milk anymore I. Don't know.
Disgusting. Luke drinks half and half.
I don't need to hear that. We have to have him on as a
(04:09):
youth correspondent. Yes, we do.
He's a lifelong New Yorker and he's a young man and he has a
lot of hot takes and I feel likehe teaches me.
He shows me something I've neverseen before, or tells me
something I've never heard before every day.
This is Hannah's coworker who's 23/3.
What an age. And he grew up here in the city,
and he's about to move into his first place on his own.
(04:32):
With a really old man. No, I think it's like 30 year
olds. It sounded like it was 1
divorcee. And then there's one more guy.
OK, there's like going to be 3 of them.
Oh wow, it's such a sitcom. Wow, I love that.
But I kind of feel like, you know, obviously we want the big
ticket guests, but it's also good to connect with the people
(04:53):
of the city. I don't we like.
To connect with the I. Don't really want the big ticket
guests. We've had some big ticket guests
who have really fucked. Us over, they kind of let us
down. Yeah, like I don't.
And then our our guests, who we're never sure what to expect
for them, are the best like. They're so good, Jersey.
Queen. He's a ride or die for this
podcast? Asked.
She she like, Oh my God. Did you get that other Jersey
(05:16):
guy I sent you? I.
Need to look. The real estate agent, do you
know this guy who's wearing like5 layers of Tanner and like
crazy lip gloss and he's showingyou apartments in Jersey?
Oh my God, I watch all his videos.
I might move to Jersey just to meet him.
Wow. There was a point where you were
going to move to Jersey and I was like, please don't do that.
(05:37):
Do you remember that? And that was insane.
I went to. Like I went to Jersey, I might
be moving to Jersey. And I, this is the thing about
me that I think is probably not ideal for people.
I'll get really serious about something that like, is like
half of a thought. Yeah, I'll be like, like about
Kevin. Like I'm like, he's in the
group. So get that through your head.
(05:59):
It's like, all right down, girl.Yeah, I and even like, which I
was like, I'm moving. I was like, I might move to
Jersey. Like there's no way to like tie
me down. It's just, it's like this is
what I want. It's like, my God, of course I'm
not moving to Jersey City. That would.
Have been so weird. Yeah, I went to see.
I went to Jersey City and saw one person's apartment, and in
that one time that I was in Jersey City at that one apt, I
(06:22):
thought this could be nice. And then I just kind of ran with
it for a week. Yeah, I feel like you.
Should get a house if you're in Jersey, if anything.
Yeah, there just to be more. You can't get an apartment in
Jersey. Also, I do want to say like, if
you're in Jersey City, you couldalso probably be really happy in
Park Slope. Really similar vibe well.
(06:45):
It's a, it's a different price range, but yeah.
But like Jersey, I don't know the people's place I was at.
Yeah, it was expensive. It wasn't like cheap, I would
say it was like a little less than wolf and eyes ran.
Oh, really? And they have to be in Jersey
City. I know, I know.
I feel like the thing about living in Jersey City is it kind
(07:09):
of gets rid of you can no longerlast minute decide what you're
gonna do with your night. Yeah.
You can't be like, you know what, I'm gonna go to that
party. I'm gonna go to that comedy
show. I'm gonna go to that friend's
birthday party. Like, no, you need to know what
you're gonna do in New York thatmorning.
Yeah. And that would be too much for
me. It's a lot.
I feel like I'm really living minute by minute these days.
(07:31):
What does that mean? I just try I my energy levels
and my body are so up and down that I really can't commit to
anything anymore. I'm like, I will maybe see you,
but I if I need to take a nap, Ihave to take a nap.
Don't hold your breath. Like it's just up and down, up
and down. So it's like, and even when I do
(07:54):
have plans, it really weighs on me like all day.
I'm like, Oh my God, like I havethis thing, you know?
And there's there's only some friends who you can be like, I
love you, it's not happening. Yeah.
Like I feel like if I texted you, like not about this
recording, but like if we had tohang and I was.
(08:14):
Like even the recording, if you were like, I'm really sick, it's
like. I can't do it or even if I was
like today's been crazy. I cannot talk anymore.
I must head. Home, it's totally fine.
But then there's people who don't get it.
They will never rally, yeah. Puke and rally, never forget.
I used to puke and rally all thetime.
Really. Yeah, I used to go out and puke
(08:37):
and rally and. I used to puke and rally all the
time. I used to go out and puke.
It would always be like towards the end of the night where
you're already like wasted, and then someone offers you a shot
and you're like, I can do it. And then you do it and you
immediately get that watery mouth feeling and you're like, I
(08:57):
gotta go right now. That's pretty bad.
And then it's like, you throw upthe shot, but you're still in
the wasted part. And so you're like.
I can go back out I. Can go back out there.
I'm just shot free. This wasn't a real.
We just got a beer this time. Yeah.
And then it was like nothing happened.
Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I was never I
I had like a tell of when I was going to throw up.
I was, if I started like hiccuping when I was drunk, it
(09:20):
was like like, As for I'm a Cormac, it was like get her out
of the bar because she's going to throw up in a way so public.
So I will not be excusing myselflike I'm just going to do it
wherever I am. So you're a you projectile vomit
a lot. No, no, no, no.
It was like I, I only threw up every once in a while, but it's
like if it's going to happen, especially if I'm drunk, I have,
(09:44):
I have this thing and I got it from my dad where we need to
throw up outside. Like I just remember my dad
always saying he felt so claustrophobic and he he can't
throw up in the bathroom. It's too claustrophobic.
I need fresh air. And then I kind of got that in
my head as well. Like it is too claustrophobic in
the bathroom. But now obviously I don't throw
(10:07):
up like when I have like a when I have food poisoning, I don't
like stand on the sidewalk and pee like I obviously I gotta.
Get out there but like. Drunk me.
She needed all the space in the world.
I hear you. Yeah, it's it's a lot I get to.
Peed outside like. That was yeah, duh.
Like I can't even imagine how people see have seen my vagina
(10:28):
just like non sexually well could have been for them.
Probably not though in the stateI was in and I was just peeing.
Is it cold out right now? No, looking at you and the
puffer and realizing I have to leave soon too.
I can't believe you have to go somewhere.
Yeah, I don't want to go anywhere.
This is the life of a single hag.
(10:49):
I can't believe. Like do you see my?
Face, I know you don't want to go.
Look, you don't want to go. I see.
I don't want to go but this is my only night like to do these
things. OK, well it'll be fun.
Let me get excited again. Let.
Me get excited seem excited like2 seconds ago so now I know
it's. Well, I've been I got up at 6:00
AM today. So to me this is like, you know,
(11:11):
I've kind of been unwind down like finished my shift at work.
I really want to wine daddies now recording after this like.
It's wind down, unavailable. Do you wanna walk with me?
It's at 7:30 where it's a mockingbird.
Well, I have my laundry. I have my laundry in your lobby.
Don't let me forget that. It's like kind of, it's crazy.
(11:33):
I do. You do a lot of like, is he
doing it like every day? Every time I talk to you, I'm in
laundry with me. OK, no, you've caught me in a,
in a spot where I I do, I have done, I do laundry once a week
for sure, either Sunday or Monday.
I do. Laundry.
That's crazy. I'm like a once every three
weeks. But it's two people's laundry.
Well, that I have thoughts on too.
(11:54):
And last last week, oh, I thought that was, I thought that
was an alarm movie. Last week we did this is so
uninteresting. But last we did our bedding.
So but I can't carry bedding andclothing when I'm trekking it to
work. So it's like Sunday, I'll bring
my laundry, do my our clothes, and then Tuesday I'll bring
laundry and do our bedding. And now we're back on Sunday
(12:17):
again and I have a new set of clothes to be washed.
OK, OK, interesting. Yeah, we also go.
I feel like I go through a lot of.
I I'm a big let's wash it in thetub.
I like to do like whistle while you work kind of Snow White in
here. You wash how?
Much of your clothes here wash in the tub.
(12:38):
Like a lot of them, like all my workout stuff, I wash it in the
tub and I have a little stick that I use to like make it feel.
Like a like a witch. Like a yeah, like a witch.
And then I dry everything. That's why I have that little
drying rack over there. And then it's like, I can use it
again. It's only when things go a
couple times through that I'm like, I gotta get to the washing
(12:59):
machine. This this tub is not doing it.
Oh, OK. So you're like you're you're
doing the tub before you're bringing it to the machine.
It's not like some things are machine, some things are tub.
They all hit the tub. They all air dry.
Not everything just like bras and and leggings like cuz that I
work out with. Leggings in the dryer.
(13:20):
No, no, you're not supposed to. You're actually not supposed to
dry your leggings. Why?
That's how they get that. You're not supposed to.
Why? I don't know.
It's what they say. You're not supposed to dry your
leggings. Everyone online.
Did you know that you're not supposed to wear underwear when
you work out? That's not true.
OK, OK. I actually might have that the
(13:41):
other way around. Who said that?
No, hold on, there's something about you have your vagina.
Yeah, you have to hand leggings.Yeah, you should wear underwear.
I hate when I mix up my facts. Yeah.
No, it's a hard fact to remember, but.
For contacts over everyone, do you?
Do inside out underwear. No.
That's what I do all the time. If I wear I always wear.
(14:02):
If I don't work out in the underwear I will always flip the
underwear inside out to for a second wore wear.
Well, I only wear thongs, so I definitely that would that would
be like really dirty. I'm wearing, like, postpartum
underwear from Amazon. Yeah, you can.
So you can flip them. And you know where I got the
idea? Beyoncé does it.
She's a fat yeah. What like.
(14:23):
In my 2007. Like weird, my coat's too big.
No, no, no, no. I'm worried I'm actually getting
quite warm. It's.
Hot as hell in here. I think mine's too big.
No. Well, you saw mine do this
thing, but I sent, I sent a haulvideo.
Yeah, getting lots of feedback. Really.
(14:46):
On your video, on my video. My My New York Moment of the
week. Yeah, what's your New York
moment of the week? Truly, if you can even believe
it is tied between the New York City Marathon and our trip to
Old Navy because both were just like really special New York
events. But I, I guess I'll say the
marathon and the video I'm talking about is I got kind of
(15:09):
heated. I kind of, I get very emotional
about the marathon and about allraces.
I don't, I don't know what it is.
Yeah. Just something about people not
having to. They don't have to do it.
Like, yeah, it's very hard. Most people choose to do it.
Well, one, almost everyone's running for charity.
And then most people running areprobably doing it to prove
(15:33):
something to themselves or for aloved one they lost or in honor
of it. Some, so many people are running
it and they're blind. Like they and they have guides.
And then think about the guides who are training just so someone
else can run it. Like it's just it's like all
around like a beautiful day. And everyone at it is being
beautiful and working hard and just doing it to for someone
(15:55):
else or for themselves to show themselves, whatever.
And there were so many people like, especially because we
follow like I follow so many comics that like needed to like
do a bit about it. And the bit is like, why?
Like you're, you're doing this for attention.
Why are you doing this? Why are you going to walk around
in your blanket all day? Like, like, why is I have so
much traffic? Because you need to run the
(16:15):
merit. It's like.
So you're doing this for. Attention.
Your whole life is for attention.
You're literal whole life is forattention.
You're literally you're they're.Asking for one day.
Your your entire career and hobby in life is getting
attention from people. So it's like these people have
one day of attention. They're going to do it once.
They might not even ever do it again.
(16:37):
Yeah. You're one day.
Going to post a sketch every day?
You're going to post a front facing video, and that's fine.
No one's hating on that. But you're hating on them.
And I think that's loser behavior.
Yeah. And I think anyone who's ever
been at a New York City marathonknows it's just like the.
It's the best it's. The best day of the year.
(16:58):
It's really sweet and it's really.
Sweet. Yeah, I.
Think if you know anyone who trained for it, it's like.
Can you say hi to that? Did you say hi to Brian and
Katie? I actually should show you the
video of seeing Brian. It was like, kind of like lost
my way. Yeah, like the camera's like,
like we were like, it was like seeing a rock star.
Yeah. But it is, it is like, it's like
(17:20):
to, you know, you see someone that you love or care about
who's like, I'm going to do this, being disciplined,
training for it, working for it,like putting this before other
things because they're like, I want to show myself I can do
this. And then?
They do it, yeah. They wake up at 5:00 AM, they go
to Staten Island and then they run for like 4 to 6 hours.
So bad for your body. No, sorry not to.
(17:43):
Be a hater. No, that's not a hater.
That's. Logistics, medical, medical
advice. I just, I don't know.
But because I trained for the half marathon and my Bursitis
was through the roof, I mean, I don't even know what would
happen to my feet. Training for a full marathon.
I would just I don't and by training I mean I was running
like 3 miles a day and. It was like.
(18:03):
Really hard on my. Feet, OK, but if 3 miles is
getting you like it would have been really dangerous.
Yeah, no to run 26. And this isn't in this isn't
like as a rebuttal, like I, I praise people in the marathon.
I'm like, that's amazing And butit is really bad for you.
I just. No, no, I know that Nora and I
(18:25):
are on the. Same page.
We're on the same page. About what I was talking about.
We're on the same page. With us now, we can move
forward. With that saying that well.
This is something else so uncomfortable.
Why do you want to take the coatoff?
Do you want to take the? No, I just, I, No, I, I don't
know. I just I'm dreading going On
this date. But what if?
What if? I don't go.
(18:46):
Well, no. What if he's the the one,
Hannah? OK, there's never.
It's just never gonna happen. No, it really.
No, Hannah, it really isn't. At this point it's just a hobby.
It's like taking a fucking vitamin.
That's not a hobby. You know, it's just like I gotta
do it, but I daily. Hobby.
Well, I'm just saying, it's likeyou take vitamins and you don't
(19:08):
really know what they're doing. You don't know if.
You're but you're just kind of doing it just to like tell
because. Someone told you you should.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know.
Well. Anyway.
Shredding can be dangerous if you're if you have Bursitis or
plantar fasciitis. Plantar fasciitis.
(19:29):
Fasciitis. If you have that C in there, if
you have that C in there, you. Have that you have here you what
is it entitled to medical. Compensation.
A Medical compensation, you know, a really good guest that I
really want to get on Michael the Bowl and I've messaged him
and I've emailed him and he still won't.
I said I need a consultation. And it's like he doesn't know.
(19:52):
We're trying to get him on the podcast.
I didn't mention that, but I wasjust like, come on, Michael, the
bowl. Well, I'd love to talk to him
about my last apartment and the mold situation.
Yeah. I would like to talk to him
about. That that could be eye opening.
I would say Michael DePaul. I really was passionate about
that pet psychic. Yeah, I emailed her.
She never got back to me. Which is like, this is business.
(20:13):
Yeah, we're talking about business.
Yeah, yeah, by the way, I had toupload, I made a stand up tape
and I had to upload it onto our YouTube channel, but it's
private. No problem because I I tried to
log into my YouTube and it doesn't work because it's
connected to New Yorker of the Week.
So you might see my stand up tape, but don't worry, it's
private. No, you can make it public.
No, I don't want to. OK, but it's private.
(20:35):
OK, but it's just some more pages.
Maybe I could watch? You.
Maybe I could watch the video. Well, if you were ever on my
private YouTube page, it would be all my survivor auditions and
a lot of my archived YouTube channel content.
I love that YouTube is really something else.
Anyways, I'm, yeah, I'm a littlebit.
(20:56):
I think also I'm kind of dreading all these things 'cause
I mean, you don't drink. It's just like, Oh my.
God, yeah. It's just like, I'm gonna have
to give this speech maybe you want fuck just happened.
Speech. I was gonna say the spiel and
the speech. No, he, I don't know if he
(21:18):
drinks or not. I don't know.
I don't. We haven't really talked that
much. OK.
Well, that's good actually, thatI believe that's for the best.
Yeah, I don't know. I'm just like, I'm just
fainting. So I'll just be there and be
like, do you think I should drink another Diet Coke?
Do you? Do you think drinking more than
one Diet Coke makes you wake up?I don't know.
Diet Coke doesn't really have like an effect on me the way I
(21:39):
feel like it does on you. Yeah, like I any effect right
now? OK 'cause I feel like I today
it's. Like I can't sleep because I'm
on these diet. Cokes on these diet cokes.
Oh my. God, maybe there's the five hour
energy because don't know it's only for five.
Five hours? No, it doesn't.
It's not only for five hours. I almost said tonight is 5:00
(22:02):
PM. No, currently.
Did you see we got an? We got an hour.
I saw that I was like, holy cow.It was actually quite thrilling.
It was crazy. I looked at the clock and I was
like, wait, what's going on? Because I woke up at 6:30 for
work and I was tired, but I was like, not that tired.
And then I get to the kitchen and my clock says 730.
And I was like, Oh my God, I just got like people who were
(22:24):
out at like midnight got 2 midnights, right?
Yeah. That's really.
Cool time is so in the air. Yep, it's crazy that someone
invented it. Literally.
Like it was sun up sundown, moonup moondown, and then someone
was like noon, Yeah. As soon as you said Moon, moon
up Moondown, I thought of Moondani.
(22:47):
He's really on my mind at all moments of the day.
This is recorded what, the day after we'll have election
results. Oh.
My God, Oh my gosh, if he doesn't win, I'm going to kill
myself. If if he doesn't win, he'll
definitely come on the pod. Yeah, I.
Maybe. Hey, I had an idea.
Hey, do you think we could get his campaign manager on the pod?
(23:07):
She's apparently like, the youngest campaign manager ever.
Really. Yeah.
And this is her first big campaign.
Wow. Yeah.
Well, yeah, I'll try. To I saw an article, Do you
know? Who she is.
OK, well, we'll try to figure that out.
She's amazing. I love her.
My mom is really wants answers about saying great.
Good. Yeah.
(23:28):
My mom has been messaging me allday about it's like crazy
Christmas and Thanksgiving and it's like, I don't know.
I have no idea. I don't even know if I'm going
to leave my house right now. Like I don't.
Know my mom seems to not, not ina rude way, but she seems to not
be able to get it through her head.
And I know that sounds rude thatuntil through your head, until I
(23:49):
have my work schedule, I don't know at Orangetheory, you have
to offer yourself up for one of them.
You have to say I'm willing to work Thanksgiving or I'm willing
to work Christmas. That's just the rule.
It doesn't mean that everyone who says they're going to work
Thanksgiving is going to work it, you know, or that everyone
who says they're going to work Christmas is going to work it.
But you have to be available forone.
(24:10):
So I offered myself up for Thanksgiving because technically
I can still go home afterwards. And then?
Do you get paid double? Yeah.
Oh, that's nice. So.
It's kind of like if you don't really have anything major like,
yeah, why not just do it so. That's great.
Actually, but, and then so I I don't know what the Thanksgiving
schedule is, which means I have really no idea what the
(24:32):
Christmas schedule is. Because if I'm not on for
Thanksgiving, that means that the availability I gave for
Christmas might be being tapped into.
And my mom, I keep saying like, I don't have my work schedule.
She's like, when do you think you'll have it?
I was like, I don't know. She's like, could you ask?
And it's like, no, like I don't.That's not urgent to me.
Yeah. And either I'm going home to
(24:53):
hers or I'm going to wolves like.
Yeah. And she was invited to sleep
over at Wolves for Christmas. In North Carolina.
In North Carolina. Wow.
Would she be interested in that?She she said she would consider
it because she said I would hateto have no family with me on
Christmas which is really crazy because my brother lives 5
(25:14):
minutes away. Wait, how did she ask?
That man costume go last night. Good.
But he he broke the rule. I told him if he's going out in
the Batman costume, he needs to be home before midnight or else
I'm not helping him get out of it.
And at one, AMI was woken up to get him out of the Batman
(25:35):
costume. So that fucking sucked.
He was like, hey, are you up? And I'm like dad asleep.
What he got back at 1:00. He got back at one with the
Batman. Costume.
With a Batman costume, so he wore it.
To the he was out in a. Two days, two days in a row, and
he'll be wearing it next week aswell to this event.
What event it's called? It's.
I don't know why it's at no, I think it's in two weeks.
(25:56):
It's on November 10th maybe, butit's a Halloween show.
It's called Shtick or Treat and it's all these big comics doing
like other comics shticks. So Wolf though, got asked to be
honest at the stand and he's gonna be doing Katt Williams but
as Batman, so Bat Williams so. It has to be like a Halloween
(26:19):
shtick. Yeah, so he's doing Pat.
Williams, Pat Williams. So niche.
If you're around, let me know. I'm asked.
I'm trying to get him to get like a couple comps.
I'm not because I want to go to this, but I don't want to like
go alone. What is it?
What is it? What is it again?
I think I'll have to clarify November 10th.
(26:41):
Yeah, I'll be here. I can come.
Sorry, I can't wait. I can't go on a date.
Right now when you blink, is it like asleep?
Yeah. Should I just tell him no No?
No, no, because no. No.
What what is what does he have any like major things you'll
want? What do you mean that I'll want?
Like what? Like when you think about a
(27:03):
partner and you're like, I need these are my big three.
I need these things, Yeah. Does he have any?
Pro Palestine. OK.
Check and he's 6 feet tall. Check.
Yeah, OK. You have to go.
He's profiles and he's 6 feet tall.
Can you pass me another dike? Yeah, get that bump in.
(27:23):
Let's just shoot it up into my brain.
Shove it up my ass. I don't know what to do anymore.
Just shove it up my ass. Yeah.
Do you want some? I can't eat anything because
I'm. So this is going to be a
nightmare tonight. Look at this.
Here goes my sleep. Oh my God, watch out in the
ring. Watch and learn.
(27:44):
It's gonna say pay attention. So pay attention.
Did everyone hear the news? Guess who else has a Nora ring?
Soren. Soren has Nora ring.
Yeah, he has an Nora ring, and Iasked Nora immediately if you
can link up with people. He'll to link up with Zoran Zora
Ring, but I don't think that I think it would be a little
(28:04):
humbling because he's like bopping around town and there
are days when I only get like 6000 steps.
Yeah, I think it would also it like one time seeing his sleep
score would be fun, but then I'dbe like, I got it, I got to do
something. His sleep score probably sucks.
Yeah. Like I would not be sleeping
right now. I like now that I had that like
sexy dream about him like. Did you tell Wolf?
(28:26):
Yeah, I did. I reenacted it to Wolf, and I
made Wolf be me, and I was him. Really.
And wedded Wolf. Wolf was like, and I was like,
even just talking about it, I'vejust felt Wolf was like, OK,
like, I don't know what you wantme to say.
He's such a yeah, he's just the perfect man.
Yeah, he is. Would you?
You'd kiss him. Duh.
(28:49):
Yeah, Yeah, I would kiss Sauron.Oh, my God, Can you imagine the
way he looks like throwing it down?
I can't even talk about. It's just like, it's like I
always saw him as like, yeah, that's a great guy.
That's a handsome guy. I stand with him.
I'm gonna advocate for him. He has my vote.
But then I had this dream and I was kind of like.
(29:11):
And I had a sex. Dream about Zoram and it's like
it's shifted everything like. Everything changed.
I I used to think I could meet him.
I I don't think I can anymore. I used to think I could meet
him. I feel like I've gotten to a
level of obsession with him thatI can't meet him anymore because
remember when that happened withJohn Early?
I was like a total weirdo to John Early and John Early if
you're. Listening, I think you were.
(29:31):
I'm sorry, I was and it's OK, itis what it is.
I feel like if he was being himself, he would have loved
that. What makes sense?
No. I'm gonna sing lots of riddles.
Today, Margo and I, we have had quite the day.
She, she was. Running around town this
(29:53):
morning. Sounds like her camera around.
And she went into the litter box.
I don't know what happened in there, but she got a bunch of
litter stuck into her paws and she's all over my bed.
There's litter all over my bed and I'm like, what is going on?
Litter on the bed. Litter on the bed so I have to
change my sheets. I bring her to the bathroom and
we take wipes out. I'm wiping them.
(30:13):
She's screaming about the wipes.She hates the wipes.
She's not screaming, she's beingperfect, but she's just like,
she's just. Like she's like, what's going
on? And I'm wiping her and I'm like,
there's just like chunks of litter everywhere.
And then I realized that I'm like, OK, I just got to change
the litter. And then it just went downhill
from there. Now we're now.
She's drinking now. Why litter in the bed?
(30:34):
That must have been upsetting tofind.
It's a. Lot.
It's a lot. It's a lot to find.
It's hard sometimes when your pet is an animal, you know, like
your pet is always your baby andthen you turn thick and there's
no wrong all the cans over here.Yeah, this is like, see, this is
(30:56):
what's gonna happen. I'm gonna drink these.
I'm gonna be asleep during the day and then after I'm gonna be
Jack. The fuck up like let's.
Go. Maybe call him?
Y'all ready for this? OK, she was.
Just gonna throw it back a little.
Booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty.
Yeah, You got your paws cleaned today, baby.
Hi, All right. Well, we're at 30 minutes, which
(31:17):
is what we're doing for just. US New York moment.
My New York moment of the week. And we can go to 35.
We can go 30. 5 New York Moment of the Week.
New York Moment of the week. I think walking to and from
Halloween party, the party I went to on Friday is very New
(31:41):
York. It was just like, I walked
there. I've had the cat whiskers on,
and I was looking around and kind of like seeing everyone in
their costumes. And then I walked home at, like,
2:00 in the morning and I, you know, still you have everyone.
And there's like this guy who was like a toilet, I guess, for
Halloween. He had a box, like a cardboard
box around him and toilet paper flying from the back, from his
(32:04):
back. And he was walking alone, too.
And I'm just like, there's just this really.
Like, we're all still doing it. Yeah, we're all here just
dressing. Up and going out.
But it was fun. I had a nice time.
I went to a fun party, and I feel like Halloween parties are
funny because you meet people and then you have no idea who
(32:24):
you met because everyone's in a different thing.
But the best person that I met at this Halloween party came out
to me and was like, hey, I'm trying to make friends here, so
what's up? I was like, hey, and he.
I was like, what? A boy, he came to the.
Right, girl, yeah. And he came up and then he
opened his sheet and he he I waslike, what are you?
(32:44):
And he's like, I'm the shitty mosaic that at the Lorimer stop
and I. Pulled this thing really neat.
And I was like, that is really funny.
Yeah, that's a really good that's.
So funny. He's like, I hate that mosaic.
It's like, who are you? That's a really funny costume to
have when you are at a party where you don't really know.
(33:06):
Everyone that well, he didn't know anyone and he was like,
hey, I'm like here to make friends.
No new. Yorkers commit to a niche
costume more than anyone else. Yeah, most people in New York
had to explain their costume to you.
Yeah, I bet $1,000,000 most people were like, what are you?
Yeah, yeah. But that's OK.
That's the beauty of Almost on Halloween, New York.
(33:27):
I don't know, I just got a little sleepy.
Welcome to my home. But you're waking up.
You're waking up. Wait.
Cancel. I could, we could put the hood
up and I could be you for the date and you could stay home.
That would be amazing. And then I could say I don't
want to kiss and I don't, I don't want to talk tonight, talk
(33:49):
to you, but I would. And then honestly it'd be kind
of really cool if like I could do a pre date.
What do you mean? Oh, to see if it's good.
Just like if I could be like, OK, here's the here's here's the
facts and figures. I got Nora.
He does this weird thing when he's drinking.
He does like a lot of lip lipping.
But he was so funny. Yeah.
(34:10):
And you can be like, I can't do the lip lipping.
I'll be like, OK, we're not seeing you again.
Yeah. Something a service like that?
Yeah, we don't. Yeah, I don't know.
I'm not. I'm I go on 7000 dates a day.
So it's like fine. It's like at this point it's
just. I go on 7000.
Dates. It's like every day it is the
same and the end of the day they're all mushed together.
(34:32):
You're being Miranda. I really.
Am I'm just like whatever, like,you know what?
Charlotte would say. This could be the one.
It just takes 1 date I know, andthen you never date again.
I know I but but is that even true where the divorce
statistics are really high? You if if you do what I'm up to
(34:52):
just takes one day and then at least three years, you don't
date again. There you go.
Minimum three, maximum forever. But some forever.
You also, you know, you'll have to get a dog and go to couples
therapy. So it's kind of a mixed bag.
All right. Well, love you.
Love you. This was Love you, New Yorker of
(35:14):
the Week. New Yorker of the.
Week just. Us.
Just us. It's just us, baby.
All right, Bye.
I hope maybe we don't use that. We're off to the races, off to
the races. Well, what did you think?
Have you seen? You're off to the races.
Have you seen how I've been trying different things for just
Us cover art? Yes.
Like I love it. The screenshot of just us while
we're talking is too big to the point where when it's fully fits
(00:46):
the spot of the Instagram post, it's mostly just table because
of the distance and it's being filmed like this.
So that's why I was like, oh, ifwe pose, leaning in, smiling,
that can be the cover. With these puffers on, well,
it's not. Notice anything about us?
Do you notice anything perhaps different?
Different about us, yeah, we gotthese we got matching jackets
(01:13):
among other things that. Are also matching that we'll be
wearing a lot. We were being really drawn to a
lot of the same things while at Old Navy yesterday.
Oh yeah, I I realize we kind of have the same style a little
bit. Mine's a little mine's AII would
say. Mine's sometimes a little more
grungy, I think like a little more like punk fem.
(01:34):
Yeah. And I would.
Never describe myself as punk. Fem, yeah, but but we have we
have very similar. Styles, I think we're also drawn
to the same thing. Yeah, yeah.
Like I'll see you wearing something and I'll be like,
where'd you get that? And I feel like you do the same
with me. Like, I think there's a similar
style and look, we're both like,yeah, I want to have that.
And so, you know, one thing led to another and we're in the red
(01:56):
puffer. The red puffer was kind of an so
Old Navy was having one of its famous like old.
Navy. Take it for free sale.
Every day they're like, do you have Super Cat?
Hailed Navy fans. Oh, they said the Old Navy fan
ad while Nora was there and she came to she came to life.
I. Tried to that was a.
Special day at the Old Navy. I got to a point yesterday where
(02:18):
like I didn't even realize people were around us.
I was just like in I was trying on bras like over my shirt like
not worried at all. You.
Did really go there? You went there.
And at one point I just dropped my bags and was just walking
around trying on different. Sweaters.
When you're at Old Navy, you're family and you you can just kind
of like. Move around.
Yeah, because, and I don't, unless you're trying on jeans,
(02:40):
I'm starting to feel like you don't need to go to a changing
room. Oh yeah, with that Old Navy,
like, no, you don't need to. Jeans and jeans and dresses.
Yeah. You need to feel that on your
body. You can't do that over leggings.
You can't do that over a coat. Yeah, but like, the shirts, the
pajama pants, like, Yeah, the jackets.
Yeah. So it's OK.
We both got the red puffer. I'm unfortunately wearing green
(03:02):
pants right now which makes me look a little Christmassy but.
That was kind of the vibe in OldNavy, that was.
Also, the vibe. I was wearing these pants
yesterday too, and then we went to just selling.
That's where things took a turn for the.
Worst. Yeah.
God, it was good to know it wasn't.
Can't even think about. That in there, really.
(03:23):
Yeah, there was a lot of dressing.
When you say medium dressing, let's make it medium.
Salad dressing, too much milk inthe coffee.
There's just a couple things that it's like the whole thing's
ruined. I think there needs to be.
We need to have more of a measuring system.
So like if you're say medium salad, I think you only get like
(03:46):
a certain number of tablespoons of dressing and they like weigh
it out. It seemed to be.
And same the looking and the same with same with the with the
with the oatmeal milk. Or milk.
Sorry. For me it's.
Oatmeal drinks milk anymore I. Don't know.
Disgusting. Luke drinks half and half.
I don't need to hear that. We have to have him on as a
(04:09):
youth correspondent. Yes, we do.
He's a lifelong New Yorker and he's a young man and he has a
lot of hot takes and I feel likehe teaches me.
He shows me something I've neverseen before, or tells me
something I've never heard before every day.
This is Hannah's coworker who's 23/3.
What an age. And he grew up here in the city,
and he's about to move into his first place on his own.
(04:32):
With a really old man. No, I think it's like 30 year
olds. It sounded like it was 1
divorcee. And then there's one more guy.
OK, there's like going to be 3 of them.
Oh wow, it's such a sitcom. Wow, I love that.
But I kind of feel like, you know, obviously we want the big
ticket guests, but it's also good to connect with the people
(04:53):
of the city. I don't we like.
To connect with the I. Don't really want the big ticket
guests. We've had some big ticket guests
who have really fucked. Us over, they kind of let us
down. Yeah, like I don't.
And then our our guests, who we're never sure what to expect
for them, are the best like. They're so good, Jersey.
Queen. He's a ride or die for this
podcast? Asked.
She she like, Oh my God. Did you get that other Jersey
(05:16):
guy I sent you? I.
Need to look. The real estate agent, do you
know this guy who's wearing like5 layers of Tanner and like
crazy lip gloss and he's showingyou apartments in Jersey?
Oh my God, I watch all his videos.
I might move to Jersey just to meet him.
Wow. There was a point where you were
going to move to Jersey and I was like, please don't do that.
(05:37):
Do you remember that? And that was insane.
I went to. Like I went to Jersey, I might
be moving to Jersey. And I, this is the thing about
me that I think is probably not ideal for people.
I'll get really serious about something that like, is like
half of a thought. Yeah, I'll be like, like about
Kevin. Like I'm like, he's in the
group. So get that through your head.
(05:59):
It's like, all right down, girl.Yeah, I and even like, which I
was like, I'm moving. I was like, I might move to
Jersey. Like there's no way to like tie
me down. It's just, it's like this is
what I want. It's like, my God, of course I'm
not moving to Jersey City. That would.
Have been so weird. Yeah, I went to see.
I went to Jersey City and saw one person's apartment, and in
that one time that I was in Jersey City at that one apt, I
(06:22):
thought this could be nice. And then I just kind of ran with
it for a week. Yeah, I feel like you.
Should get a house if you're in Jersey, if anything.
Yeah, there just to be more. You can't get an apartment in
Jersey. Also, I do want to say like, if
you're in Jersey City, you couldalso probably be really happy in
Park Slope. Really similar vibe well.
(06:45):
It's a, it's a different price range, but yeah.
But like Jersey, I don't know the people's place I was at.
Yeah, it was expensive. It wasn't like cheap, I would
say it was like a little less than wolf and eyes ran.
Oh, really? And they have to be in Jersey
City. I know, I know.
I feel like the thing about living in Jersey City is it kind
(07:09):
of gets rid of you can no longerlast minute decide what you're
gonna do with your night. Yeah.
You can't be like, you know what, I'm gonna go to that
party. I'm gonna go to that comedy
show. I'm gonna go to that friend's
birthday party. Like, no, you need to know what
you're gonna do in New York thatmorning.
Yeah. And that would be too much for
me. It's a lot.
I feel like I'm really living minute by minute these days.
(07:31):
What does that mean? I just try I my energy levels
and my body are so up and down that I really can't commit to
anything anymore. I'm like, I will maybe see you,
but I if I need to take a nap, Ihave to take a nap.
Don't hold your breath. Like it's just up and down, up
and down. So it's like, and even when I do
(07:54):
have plans, it really weighs on me like all day.
I'm like, Oh my God, like I havethis thing, you know?
And there's there's only some friends who you can be like, I
love you, it's not happening. Yeah.
Like I feel like if I texted you, like not about this
recording, but like if we had tohang and I was.
(08:14):
Like even the recording, if you were like, I'm really sick, it's
like. I can't do it or even if I was
like today's been crazy. I cannot talk anymore.
I must head. Home, it's totally fine.
But then there's people who don't get it.
They will never rally, yeah. Puke and rally, never forget.
I used to puke and rally all thetime.
Really. Yeah, I used to go out and puke
(08:37):
and rally and. I used to puke and rally all the
time. I used to go out and puke.
It would always be like towards the end of the night where
you're already like wasted, and then someone offers you a shot
and you're like, I can do it. And then you do it and you
immediately get that watery mouth feeling and you're like, I
(08:57):
gotta go right now. That's pretty bad.
And then it's like, you throw upthe shot, but you're still in
the wasted part. And so you're like.
I can go back out I. Can go back out there.
I'm just shot free. This wasn't a real.
We just got a beer this time. Yeah.
And then it was like nothing happened.
Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I was never I
I had like a tell of when I was going to throw up.
I was, if I started like hiccuping when I was drunk, it
(09:20):
was like like, As for I'm a Cormac, it was like get her out
of the bar because she's going to throw up in a way so public.
So I will not be excusing myselflike I'm just going to do it
wherever I am. So you're a you projectile vomit
a lot. No, no, no, no.
It was like I, I only threw up every once in a while, but it's
like if it's going to happen, especially if I'm drunk, I have,
(09:44):
I have this thing and I got it from my dad where we need to
throw up outside. Like I just remember my dad
always saying he felt so claustrophobic and he he can't
throw up in the bathroom. It's too claustrophobic.
I need fresh air. And then I kind of got that in
my head as well. Like it is too claustrophobic in
the bathroom. But now obviously I don't throw
(10:07):
up like when I have like a when I have food poisoning, I don't
like stand on the sidewalk and pee like I obviously I gotta.
Get out there but like. Drunk me.
She needed all the space in the world.
I hear you. Yeah, it's it's a lot I get to.
Peed outside like. That was yeah, duh.
Like I can't even imagine how people see have seen my vagina
(10:28):
just like non sexually well could have been for them.
Probably not though in the stateI was in and I was just peeing.
Is it cold out right now? No, looking at you and the
puffer and realizing I have to leave soon too.
I can't believe you have to go somewhere.
Yeah, I don't want to go anywhere.
This is the life of a single hag.
(10:49):
I can't believe. Like do you see my?
Face, I know you don't want to go.
Look, you don't want to go. I see.
I don't want to go but this is my only night like to do these
things. OK, well it'll be fun.
Let me get excited again. Let.
Me get excited seem excited like2 seconds ago so now I know
it's. Well, I've been I got up at 6:00
AM today. So to me this is like, you know,
(11:11):
I've kind of been unwind down like finished my shift at work.
I really want to wine daddies now recording after this like.
It's wind down, unavailable. Do you wanna walk with me?
It's at 7:30 where it's a mockingbird.
Well, I have my laundry. I have my laundry in your lobby.
Don't let me forget that. It's like kind of, it's crazy.
(11:33):
I do. You do a lot of like, is he
doing it like every day? Every time I talk to you, I'm in
laundry with me. OK, no, you've caught me in a,
in a spot where I I do, I have done, I do laundry once a week
for sure, either Sunday or Monday.
I do. Laundry.
That's crazy. I'm like a once every three
weeks. But it's two people's laundry.
Well, that I have thoughts on too.
(11:54):
And last last week, oh, I thought that was, I thought that
was an alarm movie. Last week we did this is so
uninteresting. But last we did our bedding.
So but I can't carry bedding andclothing when I'm trekking it to
work. So it's like Sunday, I'll bring
my laundry, do my our clothes, and then Tuesday I'll bring
laundry and do our bedding. And now we're back on Sunday
(12:17):
again and I have a new set of clothes to be washed.
OK, OK, interesting. Yeah, we also go.
I feel like I go through a lot of.
I I'm a big let's wash it in thetub.
I like to do like whistle while you work kind of Snow White in
here. You wash how?
Much of your clothes here wash in the tub.
(12:38):
Like a lot of them, like all my workout stuff, I wash it in the
tub and I have a little stick that I use to like make it feel.
Like a like a witch. Like a yeah, like a witch.
And then I dry everything. That's why I have that little
drying rack over there. And then it's like, I can use it
again. It's only when things go a
couple times through that I'm like, I gotta get to the washing
(12:59):
machine. This this tub is not doing it.
Oh, OK. So you're like you're you're
doing the tub before you're bringing it to the machine.
It's not like some things are machine, some things are tub.
They all hit the tub. They all air dry.
Not everything just like bras and and leggings like cuz that I
work out with. Leggings in the dryer.
(13:20):
No, no, you're not supposed to. You're actually not supposed to
dry your leggings. Why?
That's how they get that. You're not supposed to.
Why? I don't know.
It's what they say. You're not supposed to dry your
leggings. Everyone online.
Did you know that you're not supposed to wear underwear when
you work out? That's not true.
OK, OK. I actually might have that the
(13:41):
other way around. Who said that?
No, hold on, there's something about you have your vagina.
Yeah, you have to hand leggings.Yeah, you should wear underwear.
I hate when I mix up my facts. Yeah.
No, it's a hard fact to remember, but.
For contacts over everyone, do you?
Do inside out underwear. No.
That's what I do all the time. If I wear I always wear.
(14:02):
If I don't work out in the underwear I will always flip the
underwear inside out to for a second wore wear.
Well, I only wear thongs, so I definitely that would that would
be like really dirty. I'm wearing, like, postpartum
underwear from Amazon. Yeah, you can.
So you can flip them. And you know where I got the
idea? Beyoncé does it.
She's a fat yeah. What like.
(14:23):
In my 2007. Like weird, my coat's too big.
No, no, no, no. I'm worried I'm actually getting
quite warm. It's.
Hot as hell in here. I think mine's too big.
No. Well, you saw mine do this
thing, but I sent, I sent a haulvideo.
Yeah, getting lots of feedback. Really.
(14:46):
On your video, on my video. My My New York Moment of the
week. Yeah, what's your New York
moment of the week? Truly, if you can even believe
it is tied between the New York City Marathon and our trip to
Old Navy because both were just like really special New York
events. But I, I guess I'll say the
marathon and the video I'm talking about is I got kind of
(15:09):
heated. I kind of, I get very emotional
about the marathon and about allraces.
I don't, I don't know what it is.
Yeah. Just something about people not
having to. They don't have to do it.
Like, yeah, it's very hard. Most people choose to do it.
Well, one, almost everyone's running for charity.
And then most people running areprobably doing it to prove
(15:33):
something to themselves or for aloved one they lost or in honor
of it. Some, so many people are running
it and they're blind. Like they and they have guides.
And then think about the guides who are training just so someone
else can run it. Like it's just it's like all
around like a beautiful day. And everyone at it is being
beautiful and working hard and just doing it to for someone
(15:55):
else or for themselves to show themselves, whatever.
And there were so many people like, especially because we
follow like I follow so many comics that like needed to like
do a bit about it. And the bit is like, why?
Like you're, you're doing this for attention.
Why are you doing this? Why are you going to walk around
in your blanket all day? Like, like, why is I have so
much traffic? Because you need to run the
(16:15):
merit. It's like.
So you're doing this for. Attention.
Your whole life is for attention.
You're literal whole life is forattention.
You're literally you're they're.Asking for one day.
Your your entire career and hobby in life is getting
attention from people. So it's like these people have
one day of attention. They're going to do it once.
They might not even ever do it again.
(16:37):
Yeah. You're one day.
Going to post a sketch every day?
You're going to post a front facing video, and that's fine.
No one's hating on that. But you're hating on them.
And I think that's loser behavior.
Yeah. And I think anyone who's ever
been at a New York City marathonknows it's just like the.
It's the best it's. The best day of the year.
(16:58):
It's really sweet and it's really.
Sweet. Yeah, I.
Think if you know anyone who trained for it, it's like.
Can you say hi to that? Did you say hi to Brian and
Katie? I actually should show you the
video of seeing Brian. It was like, kind of like lost
my way. Yeah, like the camera's like,
like we were like, it was like seeing a rock star.
Yeah. But it is, it is like, it's like
(17:20):
to, you know, you see someone that you love or care about
who's like, I'm going to do this, being disciplined,
training for it, working for it,like putting this before other
things because they're like, I want to show myself I can do
this. And then?
They do it, yeah. They wake up at 5:00 AM, they go
to Staten Island and then they run for like 4 to 6 hours.
So bad for your body. No, sorry not to.
(17:43):
Be a hater. No, that's not a hater.
That's. Logistics, medical, medical
advice. I just, I don't know.
But because I trained for the half marathon and my Bursitis
was through the roof, I mean, I don't even know what would
happen to my feet. Training for a full marathon.
I would just I don't and by training I mean I was running
like 3 miles a day and. It was like.
(18:03):
Really hard on my. Feet, OK, but if 3 miles is
getting you like it would have been really dangerous.
Yeah, no to run 26. And this isn't in this isn't
like as a rebuttal, like I, I praise people in the marathon.
I'm like, that's amazing And butit is really bad for you.
I just. No, no, I know that Nora and I
(18:25):
are on the. Same page.
We're on the same page. About what I was talking about.
We're on the same page. With us now, we can move
forward. With that saying that well.
This is something else so uncomfortable.
Why do you want to take the coatoff?
Do you want to take the? No, I just, I, No, I, I don't
know. I just I'm dreading going On
this date. But what if?
What if? I don't go.
(18:46):
Well, no. What if he's the the one,
Hannah? OK, there's never.
It's just never gonna happen. No, it really.
No, Hannah, it really isn't. At this point it's just a hobby.
It's like taking a fucking vitamin.
That's not a hobby. You know, it's just like I gotta
do it, but I daily. Hobby.
Well, I'm just saying, it's likeyou take vitamins and you don't
(19:08):
really know what they're doing. You don't know if.
You're but you're just kind of doing it just to like tell
because. Someone told you you should.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know.
Well. Anyway.
Shredding can be dangerous if you're if you have Bursitis or
plantar fasciitis. Plantar fasciitis.
(19:29):
Fasciitis. If you have that C in there, if
you have that C in there, you. Have that you have here you what
is it entitled to medical. Compensation.
A Medical compensation, you know, a really good guest that I
really want to get on Michael the Bowl and I've messaged him
and I've emailed him and he still won't.
I said I need a consultation. And it's like he doesn't know.
(19:52):
We're trying to get him on the podcast.
I didn't mention that, but I wasjust like, come on, Michael, the
bowl. Well, I'd love to talk to him
about my last apartment and the mold situation.
Yeah. I would like to talk to him
about. That that could be eye opening.
I would say Michael DePaul. I really was passionate about
that pet psychic. Yeah, I emailed her.
She never got back to me. Which is like, this is business.
(20:13):
Yeah, we're talking about business.
Yeah, yeah, by the way, I had toupload, I made a stand up tape
and I had to upload it onto our YouTube channel, but it's
private. No problem because I I tried to
log into my YouTube and it doesn't work because it's
connected to New Yorker of the Week.
So you might see my stand up tape, but don't worry, it's
private. No, you can make it public.
No, I don't want to. OK, but it's private.
(20:35):
OK, but it's just some more pages.
Maybe I could watch? You.
Maybe I could watch the video. Well, if you were ever on my
private YouTube page, it would be all my survivor auditions and
a lot of my archived YouTube channel content.
I love that YouTube is really something else.
Anyways, I'm, yeah, I'm a littlebit.
(20:56):
I think also I'm kind of dreading all these things 'cause
I mean, you don't drink. It's just like, Oh my.
God, yeah. It's just like, I'm gonna have
to give this speech maybe you want fuck just happened.
Speech. I was gonna say the spiel and
the speech. No, he, I don't know if he
(21:18):
drinks or not. I don't know.
I don't. We haven't really talked that
much. OK.
Well, that's good actually, thatI believe that's for the best.
Yeah, I don't know. I'm just like, I'm just
fainting. So I'll just be there and be
like, do you think I should drink another Diet Coke?
Do you? Do you think drinking more than
one Diet Coke makes you wake up?I don't know.
Diet Coke doesn't really have like an effect on me the way I
(21:39):
feel like it does on you. Yeah, like I any effect right
now? OK 'cause I feel like I today
it's. Like I can't sleep because I'm
on these diet. Cokes on these diet cokes.
Oh my. God, maybe there's the five hour
energy because don't know it's only for five.
Five hours? No, it doesn't.
It's not only for five hours. I almost said tonight is 5:00
(22:02):
PM. No, currently.
Did you see we got an? We got an hour.
I saw that I was like, holy cow.It was actually quite thrilling.
It was crazy. I looked at the clock and I was
like, wait, what's going on? Because I woke up at 6:30 for
work and I was tired, but I was like, not that tired.
And then I get to the kitchen and my clock says 730.
And I was like, Oh my God, I just got like people who were
(22:24):
out at like midnight got 2 midnights, right?
Yeah. That's really.
Cool time is so in the air. Yep, it's crazy that someone
invented it. Literally.
Like it was sun up sundown, moonup moondown, and then someone
was like noon, Yeah. As soon as you said Moon, moon
up Moondown, I thought of Moondani.
(22:47):
He's really on my mind at all moments of the day.
This is recorded what, the day after we'll have election
results. Oh.
My God, Oh my gosh, if he doesn't win, I'm going to kill
myself. If if he doesn't win, he'll
definitely come on the pod. Yeah, I.
Maybe. Hey, I had an idea.
Hey, do you think we could get his campaign manager on the pod?
(23:07):
She's apparently like, the youngest campaign manager ever.
Really. Yeah.
And this is her first big campaign.
Wow. Yeah.
Well, yeah, I'll try. To I saw an article, Do you
know? Who she is.
OK, well, we'll try to figure that out.
She's amazing. I love her.
My mom is really wants answers about saying great.
Good. Yeah.
(23:28):
My mom has been messaging me allday about it's like crazy
Christmas and Thanksgiving and it's like, I don't know.
I have no idea. I don't even know if I'm going
to leave my house right now. Like I don't.
Know my mom seems to not, not ina rude way, but she seems to not
be able to get it through her head.
And I know that sounds rude thatuntil through your head, until I
(23:49):
have my work schedule, I don't know at Orangetheory, you have
to offer yourself up for one of them.
You have to say I'm willing to work Thanksgiving or I'm willing
to work Christmas. That's just the rule.
It doesn't mean that everyone who says they're going to work
Thanksgiving is going to work it, you know, or that everyone
who says they're going to work Christmas is going to work it.
But you have to be available forone.
(24:10):
So I offered myself up for Thanksgiving because technically
I can still go home afterwards. And then?
Do you get paid double? Yeah.
Oh, that's nice. So.
It's kind of like if you don't really have anything major like,
yeah, why not just do it so. That's great.
Actually, but, and then so I I don't know what the Thanksgiving
schedule is, which means I have really no idea what the
(24:32):
Christmas schedule is. Because if I'm not on for
Thanksgiving, that means that the availability I gave for
Christmas might be being tapped into.
And my mom, I keep saying like, I don't have my work schedule.
She's like, when do you think you'll have it?
I was like, I don't know. She's like, could you ask?
And it's like, no, like I don't.That's not urgent to me.
Yeah. And either I'm going home to
(24:53):
hers or I'm going to wolves like.
Yeah. And she was invited to sleep
over at Wolves for Christmas. In North Carolina.
In North Carolina. Wow.
Would she be interested in that?She she said she would consider
it because she said I would hateto have no family with me on
Christmas which is really crazy because my brother lives 5
(25:14):
minutes away. Wait, how did she ask?
That man costume go last night. Good.
But he he broke the rule. I told him if he's going out in
the Batman costume, he needs to be home before midnight or else
I'm not helping him get out of it.
And at one, AMI was woken up to get him out of the Batman
(25:35):
costume. So that fucking sucked.
He was like, hey, are you up? And I'm like dad asleep.
What he got back at 1:00. He got back at one with the
Batman. Costume.
With a Batman costume, so he wore it.
To the he was out in a. Two days, two days in a row, and
he'll be wearing it next week aswell to this event.
What event it's called? It's.
I don't know why it's at no, I think it's in two weeks.
(25:56):
It's on November 10th maybe, butit's a Halloween show.
It's called Shtick or Treat and it's all these big comics doing
like other comics shticks. So Wolf though, got asked to be
honest at the stand and he's gonna be doing Katt Williams but
as Batman, so Bat Williams so. It has to be like a Halloween
(26:19):
shtick. Yeah, so he's doing Pat.
Williams, Pat Williams. So niche.
If you're around, let me know. I'm asked.
I'm trying to get him to get like a couple comps.
I'm not because I want to go to this, but I don't want to like
go alone. What is it?
What is it? What is it again?
I think I'll have to clarify November 10th.
(26:41):
Yeah, I'll be here. I can come.
Sorry, I can't wait. I can't go on a date.
Right now when you blink, is it like asleep?
Yeah. Should I just tell him no No?
No, no, because no. No.
What what is what does he have any like major things you'll
want? What do you mean that I'll want?
Like what? Like when you think about a
(27:03):
partner and you're like, I need these are my big three.
I need these things, Yeah. Does he have any?
Pro Palestine. OK.
Check and he's 6 feet tall. Check.
Yeah, OK. You have to go.
He's profiles and he's 6 feet tall.
Can you pass me another dike? Yeah, get that bump in.
(27:23):
Let's just shoot it up into my brain.
Shove it up my ass. I don't know what to do anymore.
Just shove it up my ass. Yeah.
Do you want some? I can't eat anything because
I'm. So this is going to be a
nightmare tonight. Look at this.
Here goes my sleep. Oh my God, watch out in the
ring. Watch and learn.
(27:44):
It's gonna say pay attention. So pay attention.
Did everyone hear the news? Guess who else has a Nora ring?
Soren. Soren has Nora ring.
Yeah, he has an Nora ring, and Iasked Nora immediately if you
can link up with people. He'll to link up with Zoran Zora
Ring, but I don't think that I think it would be a little
(28:04):
humbling because he's like bopping around town and there
are days when I only get like 6000 steps.
Yeah, I think it would also it like one time seeing his sleep
score would be fun, but then I'dbe like, I got it, I got to do
something. His sleep score probably sucks.
Yeah. Like I would not be sleeping
right now. I like now that I had that like
sexy dream about him like. Did you tell Wolf?
(28:26):
Yeah, I did. I reenacted it to Wolf, and I
made Wolf be me, and I was him. Really.
And wedded Wolf. Wolf was like, and I was like,
even just talking about it, I'vejust felt Wolf was like, OK,
like, I don't know what you wantme to say.
He's such a yeah, he's just the perfect man.
Yeah, he is. Would you?
You'd kiss him. Duh.
(28:49):
Yeah, Yeah, I would kiss Sauron.Oh, my God, Can you imagine the
way he looks like throwing it down?
I can't even talk about. It's just like, it's like I
always saw him as like, yeah, that's a great guy.
That's a handsome guy. I stand with him.
I'm gonna advocate for him. He has my vote.
But then I had this dream and I was kind of like.
(29:11):
And I had a sex. Dream about Zoram and it's like
it's shifted everything like. Everything changed.
I I used to think I could meet him.
I I don't think I can anymore. I used to think I could meet
him. I feel like I've gotten to a
level of obsession with him thatI can't meet him anymore because
remember when that happened withJohn Early?
I was like a total weirdo to John Early and John Early if
you're. Listening, I think you were.
(29:31):
I'm sorry, I was and it's OK, itis what it is.
I feel like if he was being himself, he would have loved
that. What makes sense?
No. I'm gonna sing lots of riddles.
Today, Margo and I, we have had quite the day.
She, she was. Running around town this
(29:53):
morning. Sounds like her camera around.
And she went into the litter box.
I don't know what happened in there, but she got a bunch of
litter stuck into her paws and she's all over my bed.
There's litter all over my bed and I'm like, what is going on?
Litter on the bed. Litter on the bed so I have to
change my sheets. I bring her to the bathroom and
we take wipes out. I'm wiping them.
(30:13):
She's screaming about the wipes.She hates the wipes.
She's not screaming, she's beingperfect, but she's just like,
she's just. Like she's like, what's going
on? And I'm wiping her and I'm like,
there's just like chunks of litter everywhere.
And then I realized that I'm like, OK, I just got to change
the litter. And then it just went downhill
from there. Now we're now.
She's drinking now. Why litter in the bed?
(30:34):
That must have been upsetting tofind.
It's a. Lot.
It's a lot. It's a lot to find.
It's hard sometimes when your pet is an animal, you know, like
your pet is always your baby andthen you turn thick and there's
no wrong all the cans over here.Yeah, this is like, see, this is
(30:56):
what's gonna happen. I'm gonna drink these.
I'm gonna be asleep during the day and then after I'm gonna be
Jack. The fuck up like let's.
Go. Maybe call him?
Y'all ready for this? OK, she was.
Just gonna throw it back a little.
Booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty.
Yeah, You got your paws cleaned today, baby.
Hi, All right. Well, we're at 30 minutes, which
(31:17):
is what we're doing for just. US New York moment.
My New York moment of the week. And we can go to 35.
We can go 30. 5 New York Moment of the Week.
New York Moment of the week. I think walking to and from
Halloween party, the party I went to on Friday is very New
(31:41):
York. It was just like, I walked
there. I've had the cat whiskers on,
and I was looking around and kind of like seeing everyone in
their costumes. And then I walked home at, like,
2:00 in the morning and I, you know, still you have everyone.
And there's like this guy who was like a toilet, I guess, for
Halloween. He had a box, like a cardboard
box around him and toilet paper flying from the back, from his
(32:04):
back. And he was walking alone, too.
And I'm just like, there's just this really.
Like, we're all still doing it. Yeah, we're all here just
dressing. Up and going out.
But it was fun. I had a nice time.
I went to a fun party, and I feel like Halloween parties are
funny because you meet people and then you have no idea who
(32:24):
you met because everyone's in a different thing.
But the best person that I met at this Halloween party came out
to me and was like, hey, I'm trying to make friends here, so
what's up? I was like, hey, and he.
I was like, what? A boy, he came to the.
Right, girl, yeah. And he came up and then he
opened his sheet and he he I waslike, what are you?
(32:44):
And he's like, I'm the shitty mosaic that at the Lorimer stop
and I. Pulled this thing really neat.
And I was like, that is really funny.
Yeah, that's a really good that's.
So funny. He's like, I hate that mosaic.
It's like, who are you? That's a really funny costume to
have when you are at a party where you don't really know.
(33:06):
Everyone that well, he didn't know anyone and he was like,
hey, I'm like here to make friends.
No new. Yorkers commit to a niche
costume more than anyone else. Yeah, most people in New York
had to explain their costume to you.
Yeah, I bet $1,000,000 most people were like, what are you?
Yeah, yeah. But that's OK.
That's the beauty of Almost on Halloween, New York.
(33:27):
I don't know, I just got a little sleepy.
Welcome to my home. But you're waking up.
You're waking up. Wait.
Cancel. I could, we could put the hood
up and I could be you for the date and you could stay home.
That would be amazing. And then I could say I don't
want to kiss and I don't, I don't want to talk tonight, talk
(33:49):
to you, but I would. And then honestly it'd be kind
of really cool if like I could do a pre date.
What do you mean? Oh, to see if it's good.
Just like if I could be like, OK, here's the here's here's the
facts and figures. I got Nora.
He does this weird thing when he's drinking.
He does like a lot of lip lipping.
But he was so funny. Yeah.
(34:10):
And you can be like, I can't do the lip lipping.
I'll be like, OK, we're not seeing you again.
Yeah. Something a service like that?
Yeah, we don't. Yeah, I don't know.
I'm not. I'm I go on 7000 dates a day.
So it's like fine. It's like at this point it's
just. I go on 7000.
Dates. It's like every day it is the
same and the end of the day they're all mushed together.
(34:32):
You're being Miranda. I really.
Am I'm just like whatever, like,you know what?
Charlotte would say. This could be the one.
It just takes 1 date I know, andthen you never date again.
I know I but but is that even true where the divorce
statistics are really high? You if if you do what I'm up to
(34:52):
just takes one day and then at least three years, you don't
date again. There you go.
Minimum three, maximum forever. But some forever.
You also, you know, you'll have to get a dog and go to couples
therapy. So it's kind of a mixed bag.
All right. Well, love you.
Love you. This was Love you, New Yorker of
(35:14):
the Week. New Yorker of the.
Week just. Us.
Just us. It's just us, baby.
All right, Bye.
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