Ricardo and Sara have never watched Star Trek before! So Marvin and Dan are taking them on a journey to watch it all, one episode at a time! From unhinged unrelated tangents to deep philosophical discussions, you'll never know what the week's episode might draw out of us! We're currently going through Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, alternating by air date! New episodes every Tuesday! Newbie Star Trek is part of Fugitive Frames.
Armageddon Game! Why is it an Armageddon Game? Well, I guess Julian and Miles O'Brien shoot their way out of an ambush. And then O'Brien gets sick with a super virus. And then they have to hole up somewhere. And then Julian and Miles start to trauma-bond. So, yeah! Armageddon Game. Yup.
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Homeward! After seven seasons, we finally get to meet Worf's long-talked-about brother. And it turns out he's... a Goodfella? Who's running around f***ing natives? And wants to get away with it? But Ricardo still thinks it's a ten outta ten?! What's going on here?!
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The Pegasus! Why did Riker help stop a mutiny? Why is Starfleet not allowed to build invisible ships when pretty much every other species in the galaxy can? Why did a bunch of children make little voodoo dolls of Picard? Click to... find out? I guess?
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The Alternate! What better episode for the holiday season than one that's about parental trauma? Also, there are some severe disagreements over sliders.
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Christmas Trivia Extravaganza 2025! Whoa, Trivial Pursuit? In my Star Trek! That's right, kiddos, and our first trivia contest will be a battle between two of our most beloved past guests, Scott and Jasmin! How do two lifelong Star Trek fans fare against the deep machinations of the Star Trek 50th Anniversary version of Trivial Pursuit?! Tune in to find out!
NOTE: Marvin did, indeed, make a mistake with the bonus question, "What ...
TNG Season 3 Tier List! We're back with another tier list, and this time for TNG season 3! Riker is at full power with both a beard and a collar, and this is the season many Star Trek fans claim is when TNG starts getting good. But how do its episodes actually stack up?!
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Rivals! What is even happening in this episode? There's some sort of luck machine? Julian and Miles O'Brien play raquetball? Why are we spending so much time on Chris Sarandon?! Is this literally an episode of nothing but filler?!?!?!
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Parallels! Oh my goodness, we've got the multiple Worfs of madness! How does it pan out when someone writes a late season 7 episode and it's... actually good?!
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Sanctuary! What happens when DS9 fumbles really hard at doing a refugee crisis allegory while pairing it with a bunch of super ugly aliens? This thing!
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Inheritance! It turns out that Data has a mom! It turns out that his mom is a robot! That's... that's it.
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Second Sight! Sisko is sad that Picard killed his wife, so he decides to pursue a ghost lady instead. Shenanigans ensue. There's also this scientist guy who won't stop talking. Also, Sisko used to be Bashir in this story. Yes.
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Force of Nature! What happens when you try to write a global warming allegory and then realize you've only written about 22 minutes of content for a 45-minute show? Why, you fill it with cat content, of course!
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Necessary Evil! What starts out as an attempted murder of Quark leads Odo and Kira on a Colombo-esque blast to the past, all the way back to when Gul Dukat was in charge and Deep Space Nine was Terok Nor, and all the way back to a murder mystery Odo was never able to close. Follow us as we take a fascinating look at a much more inexperienced Odo, a colder Terok Nor, and a hotter Kira with a ponytail!
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Attached! Finally, after 7 season of "will they, won't they," Picard and Beverly finally reveal their feelings to each other. Well, at least Picard does, Beverly kinda just goes to bed afterwards. What do they actually want for each other? How did Picard actually feel about Jack? What were his feelings for Beverly? Did Beverly know or care? And finally, will they or won't they?
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Rules of Acquisition! Our first look at a Ferengi FE-MALE?! And a close look into Ferengi culture as well?! It's almost like they cared about their worldbuilding or something! Also, there are seven Rules of Acquisition in this episode. Just thought you should know.
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Dark Page! The episode that inexplicably was not named "Dark Place" despite multiple characters saying "Dark Place" and not "Dark Page." Though I can understand why Star Trek was afraid to compete with Garth Marenghu. In any case, this is the episode famous for featuring Kirsten Dunst and revealing that Deanna had an older sister that passed away when she was just a little babby. But our hosts didn't know that! So how do they respo...
Melora! Star Trek's re-attempt at telling a story about a disabled person! Because the original writer of this episode, Evan Carlos Somers, definitely didn't like the portrayal of disability in Ethics. Y'know, the one with Worf and the barrel. Does DS9 handle such topics better than TNG? Let's dive in and find out!
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Phantasms! That's right. The Deanna cake episode. And it comes with a new shirt from us! And also a bunch of other really seemingly random imagery that becomes over-explained by the time the episode wraps. But hey, it's fun to see Data answer a phone call from his chest, or see Beverly drink out Riker's brains through a straw, or seeing Sigmund Freud tell Data to kill them all. Y'know, the usual.
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Cardassians! The most generic title of any Star Trek episode ever? Seriously, what would you guess that this episode would be about from a title like "Cardassians"? If you guessed a child custody battle between a Bajoran stepfather and a Cardassian politican over the politician's biological son combined with a romping adventure with Julian and Garak, then you're a filthy cheater who's already seen the episode before.
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Gambit, Part II! Now that the jig is up and the show finally admits that Picard is alive, let's get back down to business, which is watching space pirate carry out a Cannon movies-esque super weapon heist while the Enterprise kinda follows long and basketball player James Worthy towers over Worf. Yup. Back to basics.
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