Ricardo and Sara have never watched Star Trek before! So Marvin and Dan are taking them on a journey to watch it all, one episode at a time! From unhinged unrelated tangents to deep philosophical discussions, you'll never know what the week's episode might draw out of us! We're currently going through Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, alternating by air date! New episodes every Tuesday! Newbie Star Trek is part of Fugitive Frames.
Sanctuary! What happens when DS9 fumbles really hard at doing a refugee crisis allegory while pairing it with a bunch of super ugly aliens? This thing!
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Inheritance! It turns out that Data has a mom! It turns out that his mom is a robot! That's... that's it.
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Second Sight! Sisko is sad that Picard killed his wife, so he decides to pursue a ghost lady instead. Shenanigans ensue. There's also this scientist guy who won't stop talking. Also, Sisko used to be Bashir in this story. Yes.
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Force of Nature! What happens when you try to write a global warming allegory and then realize you've only written about 22 minutes of content for a 45-minute show? Why, you fill it with cat content, of course!
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Necessary Evil! What starts out as an attempted murder of Quark leads Odo and Kira on a Colombo-esque blast to the past, all the way back to when Gul Dukat was in charge and Deep Space Nine was Terok Nor, and all the way back to a murder mystery Odo was never able to close. Follow us as we take a fascinating look at a much more inexperienced Odo, a colder Terok Nor, and a hotter Kira with a ponytail!
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Attached! Finally, after 7 season of "will they, won't they," Picard and Beverly finally reveal their feelings to each other. Well, at least Picard does, Beverly kinda just goes to bed afterwards. What do they actually want for each other? How did Picard actually feel about Jack? What were his feelings for Beverly? Did Beverly know or care? And finally, will they or won't they?
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Rules of Acquisition! Our first look at a Ferengi FE-MALE?! And a close look into Ferengi culture as well?! It's almost like they cared about their worldbuilding or something! Also, there are seven Rules of Acquisition in this episode. Just thought you should know.
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Dark Page! The episode that inexplicably was not named "Dark Place" despite multiple characters saying "Dark Place" and not "Dark Page." Though I can understand why Star Trek was afraid to compete with Garth Marenghu. In any case, this is the episode famous for featuring Kirsten Dunst and revealing that Deanna had an older sister that passed away when she was just a little babby. But our hosts didn't know that! So how do they respo...
Melora! Star Trek's re-attempt at telling a story about a disabled person! Because the original writer of this episode, Evan Carlos Somers, definitely didn't like the portrayal of disability in Ethics. Y'know, the one with Worf and the barrel. Does DS9 handle such topics better than TNG? Let's dive in and find out!
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Phantasms! That's right. The Deanna cake episode. And it comes with a new shirt from us! And also a bunch of other really seemingly random imagery that becomes over-explained by the time the episode wraps. But hey, it's fun to see Data answer a phone call from his chest, or see Beverly drink out Riker's brains through a straw, or seeing Sigmund Freud tell Data to kill them all. Y'know, the usual.
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Cardassians! The most generic title of any Star Trek episode ever? Seriously, what would you guess that this episode would be about from a title like "Cardassians"? If you guessed a child custody battle between a Bajoran stepfather and a Cardassian politican over the politician's biological son combined with a romping adventure with Julian and Garak, then you're a filthy cheater who's already seen the episode before.
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Gambit, Part II! Now that the jig is up and the show finally admits that Picard is alive, let's get back down to business, which is watching space pirate carry out a Cannon movies-esque super weapon heist while the Enterprise kinda follows long and basketball player James Worthy towers over Worf. Yup. Back to basics.
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Invasive Procedures! Man, this guy really wants a worm in him. So much so that he's willing to steal another worm from another lady in order to get that worm in him. Man, what a dummy. I hope Sisko beats the crap out of him, or at least that Sisko beats the crap outta somebody. Come on!
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Gambit, Part I! Gene Roddenberry wouldn't allow space pirates in Star Trek, but now he's DEAD. It turns out, space pirate stories are a ton of fun and TNG probably should've done it a while ago. So Picard's murdered, Riker has to solve his mystery, he gets captured by Richard Lynch, and Data ends up acting captain, doing the Mr. Burns fingers. Oh and Picard un-dies. Also, Star Wars vibes again! Wow~!
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The Siege! Not Under Siege, but also kind of like Under Siege? Also kind of like Star Wars! Also, combat rations instead of French onion soup! Boy, there's a lot going on in this episode.
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Interface! On the one hand, we have the premise of Geordi being plugged into a new remotely-controlled holographic drone thing that's controlled through a neural interface straight out of Lawnmower Man. Neat. On the other hand, we have the premise of Geordi's mom going missing, leading to an exploration of Geordi's backstory with his family and him trying to reconnect with his mom. Also neat. Are these two great tastes that go grea...
The Circle! Will the Circle be unbroken? Well, if Minister Jaro and Vedek Winn get their way, they certainly will! This second-act episode sets up Kira's ejection from DS9, a Bajoran coup, and a potential showdown between the Cardassians' proxy Bajoran army and the Federation. Also, weird sexy dream between Kira and Vedek Bareil? What's goin' on here?!
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TNG Season 2 Tier List! Tier lists are fun! And TNG season 2 is potentially the most divisive season of Star Trek. From the highs of The Measure of a Man to the abysmal lows of Shades of Gray and everything in-between, join Dan and Marvin as they break down all the stuff they loved about this kooky season and even all the stuff they forgot about!
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Liaisons! What if Misery starred Patrick Stewart and was actually kinda lame? Well, that's this episode, I guess. Also, Deanna introduces an entire culture to diabetes, and Worf fights an alien for eleven hours. Typical Star Trek.
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The Homecoming! It turns out that the Bajorans also have their own "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance." Nice. Also, the hosts are starting to notice that Kira's kinda cute? Some of us already knew, I guess.
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