July 17, 2025

A lyrical breakdown of the week’s biggest headlines. No spin. No filter. Just facts that rhyme.

Trump diagnosed with chronic venous insufficiency after swelling spotted, Leavitt says – CBS News

Trump’s been limping, now it’s clear,

Docs say he’s got chronic venous gear.

That means poor blood flow, legs swelling tight,

But the campaign’s hush kept it outta sight.

Leavitt says it’s “minor” — just a “circulation” phase,

But voters are asking, “Is he fit these days?”

No release of records, no full medical chart,

Just rumors and shadows before the next start.

Trump facing MAGA uproar over Epstein files as he shifts blame to others – ABC News

The Epstein docs dropped — names and all,

And Trump’s in ‘em, now MAGA’s appalled.

They thought he’d dodge the fallout tide,

Now blame’s bouncing left to try and hide.

Some in his base are starting to doubt,

Questioning ties they used to shout.

As evidence grows, and old friends squirm,

Even loyalists start to twist and turn.

Trump’s rescission order ‘devastating’ to public media, PBS and NPR say – CNN

PBS and NPR just took a hit,

Trump pulled the plug — called ’em unfit.

He signed a cut that slashed their funds,

Claiming they’re biased, just liberal guns.

But local stations? They’re losing fast—

Education, culture, a voice that lasts.

Critics call it a media strike,

Where truth gets silenced when power dislikes.

House passes crypto market structure bill – The Hill

Crypto’s wild, but Congress moved—

A bill just passed to get it smoothed.

They want clear rules for the blockchain scene,

So frauds can’t hide behind the machine.

It defines exchanges, defines the trade,

And keeps your coins from getting played.

Now it’s the Senate’s turn to see,

If this crypto law becomes policy.

Markets calm down after Powell poser – Reuters

Markets shook when Trump hinted bold—

Maybe firing Powell if growth turned cold.

But now word’s out: he’ll let him stay,

And that cooled panic in a major way.

Inflation’s down, the Fed’s still tight,

Factories hum in a stable light.

Investors exhaled, stocks climbed slow,

It’s calm — for now — in the capital flow.

You ain’t gotta scroll, we bring it live,

The news in bars, just press play and drive.

From DC halls to the crypto floor,

If it’s truth you want, we got the score.

No spin, no fear, just facts that stay,

News Jams drop every single day.

So if you missed the headlines, it’s all in the bars,

From the Hill to the street to the hospital scars.

News ain’t dead, it just found a new sound,

Where facts hit harder when the beat goes down.

Stay woke, stay wise — the truth won’t fade,

News Jams drop — no mask, no shade.

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