February 18, 2025 • 50 mins
What if a comedy show could offer comfort and chaos all at once? Join us as we unravel the captivating layers of "How to Die Alone," a series that defies traditional comedic expectations. Jess and I dive into our personal takes on comfort shows, with Jess finding solace in its familiarity, while I feel more anxious about the whirlwind that is Melissa's life. Our exploration takes us through the poignant storytelling and character complexity, focusing on Melissa, an airport worker navigating the tumultuous aftermath of personal loss and a surreal near-death experience.
Our discussion takes a fascinating turn into the world of magical realism and pacing. We dissect a mesmerizing scene involving Percocet that uses unique choreography to portray an altered state of perception. The conversation gets even more intriguing as we question the "magical Negro" trope within a predominantly Black cast and consider the show's rapid succession of personal crises that keep viewers on the edge of their seats. With Elise Robinson's influence and pivotal life events shaping Melissa's journey, we unearth how these elements contribute to a narrative that is both engaging and thought-provoking.
Loneliness and self-worth take center stage as we delve into Melissa's emotional struggles. From the heart-wrenching moment of realizing she's her own emergency contact to the fractured dynamics with her brother, the series paints a vivid picture of isolation amidst chaos. We ponder her financial battles, identity dilemmas, and the exhausting facades she maintains in her relationships. Through Melissa's narrative, we uncover the poignant themes of authenticity, external perceptions versus internal realities, and the quest for genuine self-understanding.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Niq (00:01):
Hi guys, welcome to next episode with your host, Niq, and
I'm Jess, and today we're goingto be discussing how to die
alone.
Yes, so, jess, can you givethem like a quick story on how
we chose this show as the nextshow to cover?
Jess (00:20):
Well, we went over several shows that felt really heavy,
like they were really good showsbut they had like a lot of
harsh themes, a lot of some hadsome violence, a lot of murder,
things like that.
So we needed a palate cleanser,something to kind of lighten
the mood.
So I suggested one of mycomfort shows, which is how to
Die Alone, as a palate cleanser.
Niq (00:44):
This show did not cleanse my palate, like I'm going to say
, and I say that as I really,really enjoyed the show, but
there was a lot of seriousness.
It's a comedy, it is it's acomedy After your reflection.
Jess (00:59):
I went back and looked it up.
I'm like, no, it is definitelylisted as a comedy.
Some places say dramedy, butyou know, and I think that's
fair.
Niq (01:07):
It's a comedy.
I'm not saying that it's not acomedy, but it deals with a lot
of heavy stuff.
This could not be a comfortshow for me.
How do you define your comfortshow?
Jess (01:23):
Honestly, I kind of fall into them.
It's a show that feelscomforting for me to watch.
So even way before we decidedwe were going to cover this show
, I watched it and then Iimmediately watched it again and
then I just kept watching it.
I've actually watched the showso many times I can't even tell
you how many times I've watchedit.
And that's what makes it acomfort show to me that when I
can't think of anything else towatch or I just don't have the
(01:45):
energy to start something new, Irewatch this show.
It's one of the shows that Irewatch.
I have several comfort shows,but that's what a comfort show
is to me.
Something about this show iscomforting.
So let me give a brief overview.
The show follows Melissa, who isan airport worker.
Her life is a total mess whenwe start the show.
(02:07):
She's lost the love of her lifea couple of years ago, but he's
getting married and it justkind of puts a tailspin on
everything.
She has a near-death experiencewhich then pushes her to
transform her life.
It is a comedy at the airport,but I don't know.
I think so.
I say that to say I thinkMelissa, the main character, who
(02:28):
is a fat Black woman and thatis very much a part of who she
is in the show.
I think just seeing that iscomforting to me.
Niq (02:38):
Okay, because I agree with your definition of comfort shows
.
I do like it is somethingpredictable.
I think is why it's out likeI've watched my comfort shows
every year for x amount of years.
I know exactly what's going tohappen.
Even if the show is tensebecause I already know the
ending, I still find comfort init.
So yes, we do have the samedefinition.
(02:59):
I guess this show for me wouldnot be a comfort show and I
think it's for the, for the samereason why you find it a
comfort show is the same reasonit could never be a comfort show
for me.
I do relate strongly with thecharacter, but her life is in
such a mess that it gives meanxiety oh wow, okay, like you
(03:23):
know what I mean, like thatfeeling of being stuck and
everything is falling apart andhaving to build yourself up from
the ground.
It gives me, even while I'menjoying watching the show, it
gives me intense anxiety.
I worry about her.
I worry about her choices, thechoices that she makes.
I would never make thosechoices, which typically is not
(03:46):
a problem for me with othercharacters but I think it is so
easy to put myself in her shoesthat when she does something
that I would never do, I'm likewhat, what are we doing here?
Our life is already a mess.
We've already got all theseissues.
Why are you making it worse?
What are you doing?
So, yeah, that it's.
It's like when I was watchingthis show, I had to call you and
(04:08):
I'm like um, you said.
And also, I would like to pointout she does not have a
near-death experience.
She dies for three minutes.
That is not a near-deathexperience.
That that is a death experience.
She just happened to come back.
Jess (04:24):
She came back to life.
That's what she's not dead.
Niq (04:28):
And it's also in the first episode.
And so the way you describe theshow like, oh, this is my
comfort show, it'll be a palatecleanser from all of the heavy
shows that we have been watching.
And whereas in some ways it'snot as heavy as the shows that
we've been watching, because itdoes have a comedy basis, she
dies in the first episode.
(04:51):
You were gonna take that sohard.
It traumatized me for so manyreasons, and so I'll get more
into the reasons why the deathtraumatized me later on.
But I'm just saying like I hadto call you and say are you sure
am I watching the right show?
Because I don't.
I don't think.
I thought, like when we talkedabout the show, I'm like, oh,
(05:15):
you know, it's someone who needsa change in their life and I
thought I was going to bewatching a show.
But like this woman who likegoes on like this, traveling
around the country, findingherself or maybe around the
world, having these experiencesand they were going to change
her outlook on life.
And then when I get there and Istart the show and I'm like
this woman is like this is gonnasound terrible, she's kind of a
(05:40):
loser, like she's like her.
she's kind of like a loser andI'm just like what are we doing
here?
What are we doing?
I did enjoy the show.
I do love the character ofMelissa.
I do too.
It was a shock to my systembecause it's not what I
envisioned the show to be, andyou know what?
(06:02):
Honestly, I don't get shockedthat often these days.
So I guess it was a goodexperience, but I just it really
kind of threw me for a loop.
Jess (06:14):
Yeah, I know you definitely took a lot of it.
I guess to me it balances theheavy moments with comedy.
It just always feels light,even when we're dealing with
something that's really heavy ordark.
That's why I'm like I guess Idid not respond that well.
Even the way she's learningabout what happened to her it's
(06:38):
comedic.
She wakes up in the hospital,the doctors are rounding on her
teaching and they're sayingstuff in the craziest way.
So it's funny.
It feel it still feels light tome.
There's a heavy moment butthere's always going to be a
light moment right afterwards.
Niq (06:54):
I don't know, I just yeah, I mean the show like, because
the show literally that we werewatching right before this, um
we had to take a break frombecause it was so heavy, um, and
so, yes, this show is like Isaid, this show is a comedy, but
it was for me, I guess I it waslike trauma first, levity
(07:19):
second, and I think when youwatch it it's levity first and
trauma second.
Jess (07:24):
Yeah, I mean.
Even sometimes the traumaticparts are still intertwined with
the comedy.
Niq (07:32):
But that's so interesting to me because a lot of times we
are so aligned with how weexperience things.
Yes, it's just like.
This is, like, so interestingto me.
We watched the same show andhad different visceral reactions
to it, and this is the show ofall of the different shows we've
(07:56):
watched like.
This is the show where I feellike I'm on one side of the
mirror and you're on the otherside, and that's interesting
because we both enjoyed the show.
Jess (08:04):
But we definitely had different experiences while
watching the show Absolutely,because it's still a comfort
show for me, I still havewatched it.
I've watched it twice since wetalked about it earlier this
week.
Niq (08:17):
I have watched it twice and I think I would only watch it
again if I'm watching it with myhusband, because I think that
we could have really interestingconversations about it, and so
I would be willing to watch it.
I mean, I wouldn't say that Iwould never watch it again, but
it's not on my rewatch listunless it serves a purpose, like
I said.
Jess (08:38):
Okay and then.
But there's a season two comingtoo.
Niq (08:41):
I thought it was just a one-off.
I okay, that makes me morehappy than you know be, and I
know we'll get to that.
But I wanted to talk to youabout because I just I thought
it was a one-off.
I I was so concerned about howthe show ended.
I have so many questions, sovery many questions.
(09:05):
So that is very exciting.
So we'll get to.
We'll talk more about thatlater, but I'm very.
That makes me very happybecause I don't, like you know,
I like closure and I have, likeI said, I have a ton of
questions, so that's exciting.
That makes me super happy.
Jess (09:25):
Yeah, so okay, kind of going into.
So one of the things that Ifeel like makes it feel light to
me is the way the story so it'slike.
I feel like.
So this is the main actress.
The lead in this show is playedby Natasha Rothwell, but she's
also one of the main writers,showrunners, like this is her
show, this is Natasha's show,and I love the way she tells
(09:49):
this story, which also, I think,adds celebrity for me, because
there's an element of magicalrealism in the show and so like,
while she's telling thesereally difficult stories,
sometimes it'll break off into adance, break off, but you're
still experiencing what she'sexperiencing through this.
Or you can kind of she'll flashback and you'll like and like
(10:11):
it has like a dreamy overviewand you go into the flashback or
something like that.
Or even if stuff that has nothappened or will not happen, you
just it's almost like you see arepresentation of her thoughts
yes, I was gonna say, it's herinner monologue made real, made
real, and I love that element ofthe show.
That's also what I loveinteresting ways of telling
(10:33):
stories.
So I love the way that thisstory is told, which, again,
like I said, that adds to thelevity for me personally.
Niq (10:40):
So I also enjoy the magical realism.
I love magical realism in books, I love it in shows and in
movies.
So I did enjoy that and I lovedit.
It was like a way to connect toher emotionally.
And I'm going to tell you, myfavorite one was when she took
(11:02):
the Percocet Me too, and so youcan feel the effects.
Took the Percocet Mine too andlike so like you can feel the
effects of the Percocet, like asshe's going through, like it's
like this dance that she's doingwith like people around her and
you kind of just it makes youfeel you know how the Percocet's
making.
And here's the thing I havetaken Percocets before Like I
(11:22):
had like a tooth pulled.
I taken Percocets before like Ihad like a tooth pulled.
I had like other stuff.
I have never experienced thatand I know that there are people
who abuse Percocets and I couldnever understand that because
I'm just like, am I missingsomething here?
It has never been anything morethan it kind of dulled my pain.
I'm like why I've never hadthis like euphoric experience
(11:44):
with Percocets and I'm just likewhy I've never had this
euphoric experience withPercocets and I'm just like I
don't know.
I also know that I'm notsomeone who enjoys taking drugs.
It really is not my thing.
But when she was taking that Iwas kind of a little bit jealous
during that sequence BecauseI'm like man Percocets have
never made me feel that way.
Jess (12:03):
And I can't say that Percocet specifically, but I
definitely have had like drugsthat I've gotten after surgeries
that made me feel like loopy,like that.
You know what I mean, but Ienjoyed that too.
That is like one of my favoriteelements of Metro.
The choreography yes, the jerky.
This movements the up and down.
You know what I mean, how she'sseeing the world differently
while she's on it and the sharpchange when she starts coming
(12:26):
down from the Percocet.
I loved that.
Oh, I love that one.
Niq (12:30):
Yeah, that was my favorite one.
Okay, so now I have a questionto ask, being that you know
there are aspects of magicalrealism.
Do you consider the characterElise Robinson, who she meets in
the hospital?
Do you consider her like amagical Negro?
And can they be a magical Negroif the person they're also
(12:52):
talking to is a Negro?
Jess (12:55):
No, I don't think so.
I don't think they can be amagical Negro, if you're also.
If you're, if this is not justbecause not if it's one Black
person talking to another, butthis is a Black cast, this is a
Black, while there are peoplewho are not Black in the film,
it's very Black and I think themagical Negro concept comes from
.
That is the only that's.
That character's only functionin a White world to me, Okay,
(13:18):
but she is vagravancing herthough.
She is, but, like I guess, Istill don't see it as that trope
, because there are other people.
There are people who lift herup, there are people who pull
her down.
It's not like we're in thiscompletely white setting and
then this magical Negro comesalong whose only function is to
make the white person's lifebetter.
(13:38):
Otherwise you're not in ourworld.
All the characters playdifferent parts in lifting her
up, pulling her down, all thiskind of stuff, but they're all
Black, not all Black.
Niq (13:53):
I know specifically that it doesn't hit all the points of
the Magical Negro, but the ladypops in, drops heavy, heavy,
like spiritual kind of, likeknowledge on her, gives her like
a purpose and you know it'skind of is the is the cat, is
(14:14):
the start of her journey towardsbetter and then the woman
immediately dies.
Jess (14:20):
She does, but her presence is still through the rest of
the show.
Niq (14:23):
Yes, she does keep her presence through the rest of the
show.
Yes, she does keep her presencethrough the rest of the show,
but once again it's as aspiritual guy.
It's going to be a littlevagabond, which I don't have a
problem with, I don't have anissue with, but I think it kind
of.
I think it fits in because ofthe magical realism.
Already it's just like that.
(14:45):
She's like almost like a fairygodmother.
Jess (14:48):
Yeah, I don't think I'm better than magical Negro, but
yeah, I don't know, because Ithink of.
I think what I associate thattrope with is like more of a
usury kind of nature of Blackpeople and it did not feel like
that to me.
Niq (15:02):
I agree it did not feel like that, but when I saw the
show I thought I'm like man.
Can you have a magical Negro ifeverybody's a Negro Is what I
thought, because I'm just likeshe.
It felt very magical, spiritualGod.
Jess (15:17):
Yeah, and she still can be like an, and I think she's
supposed to be an inspirationalfigure, she's supposed to be a
God to them.
But like she's not the onlything that changes her either,
like that near death experiencestill is a big catalyst and she
was unhappy.
She was unhappy.
And what is it?
(15:38):
What's his name?
Alex getting married, her exgetting married, like all of
these things happening at thesame time fuel this change.
It's not just you know, atleast coming in almost like um
you know what I mean like theghost of christmas past.
Niq (15:50):
Like you need to change so, since we're talking about
everything happening at once, Iwant to talk about pacing in
this show, because in the firstepisode, as we say, she dies,
but before she dies, she findsout that her ex is getting
married.
It's her birthday.
Jess (16:12):
It is her birthday.
Yeah, that's true.
I forgot that one.
Niq (16:14):
They sent the invitation on her birthday.
That irritated me, but whatever.
So it's her birthday and shefinds out that her ex is getting
married.
She has birthday plans with herbest friend, who cancels on her
, and that's how she ends up athome putting together furniture,
(16:35):
which leads to her death, eventhough it was only three minutes
, and she wakes up in thehospital and the episode is not
even over.
All of that happens, and thisis a 30 minute show.
That's 45, oh is it?
Jess (16:54):
it goes by so fast it does , maybe it is 30 minutes.
The whole thing is like 4 hours.
So yeah, you're right, 30minutes.
Niq (17:04):
I rewatched the entire season and the time that it took
me to meal prep today.
I'm like it's got to be a 30minute show.
Yeah, that's true, and all ofthat happens, and the episode is
not over and she's not evendone being devastated, mm-hmm,
like they really pack a lot inthese episodes.
Jess (17:26):
Yeah.
Niq (17:28):
Like, but how do you do you feel like it was on fast
forward?
Like, do you?
Because, like, once again, thisis my first time watching the
show and in my mind, as I'mwatching it, you're telling me
this is a comfort show, this islike a light show.
You know, like this will giveyou some, you know, a breather
from all the more serious shows.
And I'm like I'm meeting thisgirl and I'm like, oh, she seems
(17:52):
fun, she's great at her job.
You know, you start out like,oh my gosh, like she's so fun
and she's so cool.
And then you get you see thewedding invitation and you're
like, oh, man, that's messed up.
And then you get you see thewedding invitation and you're
like, oh, man, that's messed up.
And then you see, well, she hasplanned for her birthday.
And then you see her, her bestfriend, stand her up and like,
man, that's messed up.
And then she dies.
I feel like rather violently.
(18:13):
I know you said you felt likethe death was comedic, but it
felt very, very kind of violentto me.
Jess (18:20):
She dies but, like, while she's eating a a crab rangoon,
she's fighting the rats for thecrab rangoon and in that process
, basically an umlaut dresserfalls on top of her.
Niq (18:33):
Yeah, yeah, the dresser, like she's turned away so she
doesn't even see it and she'snot standing up either.
She's not standing up because Ifeel like if she stood up it
wouldn't have been so bad.
So she's kind of like crouchingand this big piece of furniture
falls on her and slams into theback of her head and the front
(18:56):
of her face, like slams into thefloor and she's all alone.
And she's all alone and theonly reason why she did not stay
dead is because the neighborlike heard, like the crash and
called 911.
And when the neighbor comesover to see her, they're
literally performing CPR on herand there's blood everywhere.
(19:18):
Yeah, that was traumatic.
So for me I'm just like what isthis?
What are we watching?
That was traumatic.
So for me I'm just like what isthis?
What are you watching?
And so when you're at thehospital, she's waking up.
The nurse is telling her hey,you know you can go home, but
someone has to come and get you.
So she calls her best friend,who does not answer the phone
(19:46):
because he is on a date, eventhough he lied to her and told
her he was going to a charityfunction.
What you found out initially isthat she's her own emergency
contact.
Jess (19:52):
That was sad.
Which was the saddest thingthat was sadder for me than her
getting hit with furniture.
Niq (20:00):
Like that, when she said, oh, that's my number.
Like that I have neverexperienced anything like that
in my entire life and I guessthat's a beautiful thing to be
able to say.
But being your own emergencycontact is a a loneliness that I
can't explain and like thatliterally broke my heart.
(20:23):
It broke my heart and so she'scalling her friend.
He doesn't come get her.
So she eventually calls herbrother.
It's just to call him severaltimes and he comes to pick her
up and as soon as she gets inthe car he starts berating her
about how he's upset that he hasto come and get her and the
fact that she doesn't havefriends who could come and pick
(20:45):
her up from the hospital and shealways needs something from him
.
And so to a certain extent Ican understand feeling like you
are the sibling.
That is always like doing forthe other sibling and they just
don't want to get their stufftogether.
And it's not that I want tocompletely disregard his
(21:06):
feelings, but there is no waythat I could be in the hospital
for anything, anything, and oneof my siblings or my friends
would not move heaven and earthto be there If I had a splinter.
(21:29):
I know that there's sevenpeople I can call and who will
come and sit by my bed while thedoctor is like needling in
there and I'm going ooh, ooh,ooh, and so that once again that
hurt.
Jess (21:44):
That did hurt.
That was hard to watch.
The hospital staff offered usjobs while you were giving birth
.
Niq (21:49):
They did.
You guys were my superstarsupport team, holding my legs in
the air, doing everything.
The nurses, like they did, likedid the medical stuff, but that
was it.
You guys did everything elseand I was never alone for one
(22:13):
moment, from the time I wentinto the hospital until the time
that I left.
Jess (22:18):
I do agree with you that this part that was hard to watch
.
As a person, I have a veryclose community, but even though
me and my sibling are not asclose as you and yours, there's
no way that he would come pickme up from the hospital if I
needed him.
And he wouldn't make me feelbad about it.
In that moment I'm like, ifanything, your brother would be
(22:40):
cracking jokes.
Niq (22:40):
He would absolutely, but he would never make you feel bad.
Jess (22:43):
You're right about being hip to come pick me up at the
hospital.
That was crazy to me.
The expectation that herfriends come get her from the
hospital instead of her brotherwas crazy to me.
Niq (22:57):
Yes, especially because they obviously live in proximity
to each other.
Like you, live out of Planes,trains and automobiles, right?
You live out of states.
You know what I mean From yoursibling, but they would still
come if they needed to.
Absolutely.
I live in proximity to onesibling and not in proximity to
(23:18):
another sibling, and wheneverI've told my brother about
different things that I've gonethrough, I always tell him way
after the fact, the first thinghe says is why didn't you call
me?
Why didn't you tell me?
You know even my dad I wastelling my dad about like years
later I was telling him aboutsome stuff I went through in a
relationship and he was like whyare you acting like you don't
(23:39):
have anybody?
Why are you not telling mewhat's going on?
And I'm like because I don'twant you to end up in jail.
So no, I can't tell you aboutstuff when it's actually
happening.
I gotta put a two-year buffer onwhat's going on so you don't
end up locked up.
(24:00):
But I just can't imagine.
Jess (24:02):
Let me tell you what I think is funny.
And, mind you, I told you thescene where she is her own
emergency contact was harder forme than her getting hit with
the furniture, because that wasjust objectively sad.
But I do find it funny that youtake this really personally
when you're married with afamily and I'm decidedly single.
So like the idea and I justonly say that because the idea
(24:23):
of dying alone is probably theonly thing that bothers me is
like dang if I fall down thesestairs there is no one coming
you know what I mean, so I getthat and I relate with that, but
it still seems like you took itso much harder than.
Niq (24:35):
I did, I did and I guess it's.
I think it's just I don't like,I don't know.
There is something so sad youknow what I mean About her
situation.
I think it would be mynightmare probably, because,
like you know, my husband and Iwe're a little codependent, you
(24:56):
know, we locked in, you know,and so her situation is like
nightmare fuel for me, like nothaving anybody in the world.
I've never experienced that.
Jess (25:09):
I've always had somebody, you know, and so I don't even
know how to navigate thatsituation yeah, no, and I mean
like, even, like I said, like Iplayed on being single for the
rest of my life I'm not gettingthere again but even and I moved
very far away from my, mynatural support system but I
(25:30):
have a community.
I just got sick, you know, justlike a 10-day quarantine of
myself and people like can Isend you soup?
Do you need somebody to come?
You know what I mean.
So, yeah, that, the idea ofhaving truly not even a
community, yeah, that is scary,and part of what I think is the
reason is the trouble with herand Rory's friendship and I know
(25:51):
we'll get into this in moredetail is just that pressure all
on one person.
That's a lot.
Niq (25:57):
I have thoughts about that.
I knew I felt a particular wayfor a particular reason, but
then I got evidence, so I'mexcited to talk about that when
the time comes.
Okay, he's the worst and I haveevidence to prove it.
Jess (26:12):
I disagree.
That's problematic.
Okay, never mind, because we'regoing to get to it.
Niq (26:20):
It's so juicy, it's so juicy, it's so juicy, it's so
juicy.
Okay, so we need to like fullyset up the premise of the show,
because I think we haven'ttalked about one thing that's
very, very important.
So Melissa makes the decisionto go to Alex, which is her
(26:41):
ex-boyfriend's wedding in Hawaii.
She's never flown on a planebefore.
She has an extreme fear offlying, and so she's decided
that she's going to face herfear and she's going to go to
his wedding.
She is beyond broke.
So what she she accidentally,when she's leaving the hospital,
(27:03):
they give her a Lisa's baginstead of her own bag, and she
books a flight to Hawaiiaii onelisa's credit card yes, she
does and that was when I'm likewait a minute, now I'm, I'm
rooting for you, melissa I.
(27:23):
that's the first time I was likehave you lost your mind?
Like what do you think?
Jess (27:27):
Yeah, no, there's definitely some moral issues
with Melissa.
You know what I mean.
There's definitely.
But I like that.
I like that, you know, I likewhen they don't make the
characters perfect.
I don't, you know, there are noperfect people.
Niq (27:45):
So there she is a big part of the reason why her life is
the way that it is.
She is 100% the reason why herlife is the way that it is Now.
Does she have extenuatingcircumstances?
She does, but she, honestly, isher own worst enemy, and that's
after meeting her mama.
I still think that she is herown worst enemy and that's after
(28:06):
meeting her mama.
I still think that she is herown Number two.
Her mom, no, okay, so no, sheis her own worst enemy.
Number two is a three-way tiebetween her mama, her brother
and her alleged best friend.
It's a three-way tie, but sheis her own worst enemy.
(28:27):
I just this is going to sound.
I don't know how it's going tosound, but I'm going to say it.
I don't know a lot of Blackwomen like her.
Jess (28:41):
Okay and well, no, actually okay, now that I've
moved and I've experienced therest of the world.
Yeah, I'm experiencingdifferent things.
That's not the Black women thattypically are in my circle and
that's not the Black women thatI typically, you know, am
acquainted with, but I have beenmade aware that they do exist.
But I also like that, becauseone of the things and I'm pretty
(29:04):
sure so, if you don't, natashaRothwell was on Insecure, which
was done by Issa Rae, and I'mstruggling to remember whether
or not this was an interviewwith both her and Issa Rae or
just Issa Rae, but either way,one of the things that she put
out there that I think Natashaalso does is not having to be a
perfect Black woman, and I thinkthat's one of the elements that
(29:26):
I love about this show is that,no, she's messed up, she's got
issues.
She's got some character issuesthat need to be worked out.
You know what I mean?
She's got some stuff, thatshe's got big areas needing to
grow, which I like.
I like showing differentelements that we are not all you
know, because while there's alot of us who are like
superstars and striving as hardas we can against the world,
(29:49):
that's all constantly fightingus.
Yeah, some of us are notperfect, and that is okay.
Niq (29:55):
I definitely.
It's not perfection, it's.
I don't understand.
What are you doing with yourlife?
And, yes, everything you saidis correct, everything that you
said is correct, but I guessthere are things that are so
deeply ingrained in me.
I'm like, girl, you are 35.
(30:16):
Did you not go to college?
Why don't you have a master'sdegree?
What are you doing with yourlife?
I'm just like you're talkingabout, like oh, you were working
at a Thai restaurant.
As a grown woman, I'm just likeI'm like she doesn't have any
children.
(30:36):
What are you doing with yourtime?
Jess (30:41):
This is a great life.
Niq (30:42):
She is just truly waiting, right, and I'm like I this is
probably going to sound classist, I don't know For the class
that it seems that she's in Iexpect more out of her.
You know, because there areother like.
(31:03):
Like if you are someone whostarts out in a lower class, you
may not understand things, youdon't have access to things.
You have to like it's harderfor you.
You know what I mean.
Like if you are the firstperson.
I'm basing it on the mom, whoseems to have like herself
(31:26):
together, somewhat Like, notfully mentally, but she seems to
be together.
Her brother is very much givingcollege educated.
Jess (31:35):
Yeah, but he also gives me first, you know, first
generation college.
Niq (31:38):
Yes, I agree, but I was the first to go to college.
But that made it easier for mysister because I had already
navigated it Like we were tryingto.
We were literally figuring itout, me and my mom you know what
I mean.
And so then, when it was timefor my sister, it was easier.
Jess (31:56):
It was easier when you and your mom were willing to help
your sister.
You got a mom and brother whotreat her like crap.
You know what I mean.
Like yes, for most siblingsthat would make it easier, but
he is hell-bent on, you know,not helping her so that he can
continue to complain about herto me.
Niq (32:17):
You know I guess that's a good point.
Jess (32:19):
So, like, if you don't like, not everybody reaches
their hand back and liftsanybody up.
You know, I think he likesbeing the good one, the star, so
he can sit there and pretendlike he's you know the best
thing in the world and he cancomplain about her.
Niq (32:34):
And she said that.
I think she said mom didn't putyou on a pedestal, but she made
sure that I was so low that Iwould always have to look up to
you.
Jess (32:43):
Or that you could always look down on me.
Niq (32:45):
Yeah, essentially, and so I'm just like yikes.
But yeah, so I'm just like girl, what are you doing?
Jess (32:52):
But like you got to see how both of them do that.
So then him going to college,because he does give me college
educated too, but and she seemslike somebody who would have
done well in college, but youhad she's had to navigate
everything herself, and while hemight give her five, ten
dollars here and there to makeup in me, he's not gonna do
nothing.
Niq (33:11):
That's really gonna pull her up yeah, I guess I can say
that that makes sense.
So, yeah, there's like I'vebeen like working through the
disconnect that I feel with her,as much as I empathize, and
then like I'm just like rootingfor her so hard, but then like
(33:32):
she goes and she does something.
I'm like girl, what are you?
But then she goes and she doessomething.
I'm like girl, what are you,melissa?
What are you?
Jess (33:37):
doing Melissa?
Come on, no, she does she doessomething Credit card.
Niq (33:42):
Oh, okay, another thing she does.
That.
I'm just like, what are youdoing?
She steals her brother's socialsecurity number so that he can
co-sign on her hospital loan.
Jess (33:52):
Okay, let me tell you why I didn't understand that.
This is why I didn't understandthat.
I'm like she acted like thathospital bill needs to be paid
tomorrow.
I'm like it's a hospital bill.
Niq (34:01):
I first of all you should have told them hey, I don't make
that much money.
And one renegotiated that billbecause it was like $30,000 and
you didn't even stay overnight.
That's crazy.
She should have called herinsurance company and had them
negotiate the bill down.
Or she should have called andsaid, hey, I can't pay this bill
, but also, girl, they wouldhave had to chase me down for
(34:26):
that money, all the other billsyou got piling up are more
important than the hospital bill.
Jess (34:32):
They can't put it on your credit.
Why are you acting like thishospital bill is the end of the
world.
Let that thing sit, yeah.
Niq (34:38):
I didn't understand.
Jess (34:39):
Even like the having to have a credit to do the payment
plan, like, okay, so I don'thave a guarantor, so y'all just
don't want to get your money.
Niq (34:50):
The hospital eventually will be like, oh well, we need
to you know what I mean, Right,Because I'm like you're not
taking out a loan to pay thehospital bill.
I thought, yeah, I didn'tunderstand, Like there was like,
but even if you, for whateverreason she had, and she told me
about that she told the dudethat she was in the high-flying
(35:11):
class.
I was like, even if I had doneit, I would never admit that, no
, but it's once again like she'smaking these decisions, and I'm
like Melissa.
What are we doing?
here, and I mean like maybe youshould have called your mom and
asked her to be a guarantor.
Maybe you should have calledyour mom and told her that you
died.
For three minutes.
Jess (35:31):
The way her mom talks to her.
I can understand she neverwants to bring anything to her.
It's not comforting, you knowwhat I mean, Like it's not
really safe.
I mean, and sadly she didn'task her brother either, she just
stole his social securitynumber because again, asking
them for anything is a lot.
But that hospital bill was notan emergency.
Niq (35:50):
It wasn't, they were holding you in the hospital.
You couldn't leave until youpaid it.
Yeah, I didn't understand whyshe let that weigh so heavily.
Yeah, her decision making isvery off.
Jess (36:03):
But again, like what does she?
You know, I think it's hard toconnect.
It's easy to connect with heron like the surface level
because like, yeah, bothoverweight black women in
America, it's a lot.
But I think where thedisconnect comes from is that
we've always had people in thosedifferent steps, in those
different areas that can give usshe has nobody right and I
(36:24):
don't.
I guess I just can't that's thebridge, that like so yeah, so
you really don't know that thathouse will be fine, it's not
going to go on your credit.
There's nothing they can do,but just send you notices.
Niq (36:37):
So there's something that she says, reoccurring through
the show She'll say to someonethat they don't really know her.
She said it to Alex, I thinkshe said it to her brother.
She might have even said it toRory, but I'm not sure about
that.
But my question is she keepssaying that.
Oh, I think maybe even Terrence, maybe she keeps telling people
(36:58):
that they don't know her and myquestion is does she know her?
Jess (37:02):
Does she know herself?
No, she does not, I don't thinkso.
I think this whole story is herkind of going through this
process of journey of getting toknow herself, getting to know
who she is.
But I also think she doesn'tshow her full self because her
self-esteem is so low.
She does not show her full selfto people.
Niq (37:21):
What is she hiding, though, other than her criminal
activities?
I'm like what?
Jess (37:28):
She's not hiding the criminal activities.
She tells multiple people.
Niq (37:31):
I'm like what is she hiding ?
Because we see her when she'salone, we see her when she's
around other people, through themagical realism.
We get like a lot of herthoughts and her feelings and I
don't really understand or seewhat she's hiding?
Jess (37:50):
I don't know that she's hiding, or she just doesn't feel
worthy of a lot of things.
You know what I mean.
Know that she's hiding or shejust doesn't feel worthy of a
lot of things?
You know what I mean.
Like she can't fully be herselfor in relationship with Alice
because she doesn't feel worthyof it.
She doesn't feel worthy ofpeople caring about her.
She doesn't feel worthy ofpeople, you know, supporting her
.
So then she kind of resorts tosome of these tricks and stuff
to get her needs met, but shedoesn't feel worthy of people
(38:14):
just genuinely caring about her.
Niq (38:17):
And so when she's saying, you don't really know me.
What she's saying is you thinkI'm worth more than I actually
am.
Jess (38:24):
To me.
Niq (38:25):
I'm really worthless, and if you really knew me, you
wouldn't invest in me.
Jess (38:32):
She almost says that exactly when she's describing
why she broke things off withAlex.
When she's talking to Roy,she's saying, like you know, I
had to break it off with himbefore he broke it off with me
because in two months he wouldknow, he would see who I really
am and he would leave me shealso said it's exhausting like
being this version of me for himand I'm just like I wonder I
(38:55):
would have loved a little bitlike more understanding, because
I'm, like you seem very happy.
Niq (39:02):
You know what I mean.
And so is that where thepretending is, like you know,
when you're with him you'repretending to be happier than
you really are.
What was exhausting?
Because it seems like you'reenjoying yourself.
She was like all up in hisgrill.
So what was exhausting aboutbeing that version of yourself?
(39:22):
You know, because beingpretending is hard and it's work
and it's exhausting.
So I'm like, were you notreally happy?
Where was the exhaustion comingfrom?
Jess (39:36):
Maybe not being comfortable to be her full self,
maybe so, because I'm not onewho wants her to end up with
Alex Same.
I think that there's benefitsfor her on the show, whether or
not it's that time period thatthey met in and just missing
(39:57):
their moment, which I do thinkis a big element of it, or
herself, and well, I think it'sboth.
She missed her moment with him,but then she also did not have
the confidence to, orself-esteem to, carry off that
relationship.
You know what I mean.
So like she felt so low that,yeah, it would be taxing on her
because she's constantlyquestioning why he's with her or
(40:20):
if he's real and all this kindof stuff.
There's probably a whole bunchof mental stuff going on with
her because she cannot acceptthat somebody like him loves her
.
Niq (40:29):
I don't think that they're compatible.
Jess (40:31):
You don't think that they're compatible.
Niq (40:33):
No, we can talk more about that when we get into the
relationships.
But I agree, I don't want themtogether and I don't think that
they are compatible.
If she's going to be the personthat she wants to be, okay,
okay.
Well, yes, we'll get into thatLast thing.
Jess (40:49):
I would like to talk about , just about the storytelling
aspect of it.
It's not something we talkabout, so I'm throwing this at
you a little bit, but the musicin the show I feel like is
really good in the storytellinglike the soundtrack of this show
is amazing.
But one of my favorite momentsof that and I don't know if you
know, you know, pay attention tothis song but in the moment
(41:09):
where she's kind of goingthrough the breakup with rory,
her best best friend, there's asong playing in the background.
I think it's by James Blake.
It was like in the end it wasFriends who Broke my Heart and
it's like, oh my God, it's likealmost this really kind of
ethereal, eerie sounding songthat's playing in the background
and then it gets louder as theykind of break up.
(41:30):
And there's so many momentslike that with different music
in the show that I'm just likethe music feels like also part
of that magical nature of thestorytelling, all of that, and I
love the choices that they madeas far as music.
Niq (41:45):
I was just excited to hear Angel's Margarita song in the
show.
Jess (41:48):
Girl, girl.
Niq (41:51):
I was so proud of her.
Oh perfect.
Jess (41:53):
That starts off one of the episodes.
Give me one Margarita.
That song Perfect choice forthat episode.
I loved it.
Did you notice the music?
Niq (42:04):
I did.
I think I'm right.
Was Natasha Rothwell not also awriter on Insecure I?
Jess (42:12):
think so yeah.
Niq (42:14):
One of the things that Insecure, I think so yeah, and
so one of the things thatInsecure did also was they
allowed their music to helpfurther the story, and so I
definitely picked up on it.
I definitely and I'm like, oh,I think that that was like the
if you were going to take anyaspect and have any correlation
(42:36):
with insecure, I definitelythink using music to further
your storytelling was beautiful.
Yes, I think the music, I thinkit made like because they use
it in like the magical, likerealism, like vignettes and
scenes.
It was, it was it.
(42:56):
It did add a layer because,once again, yes, the show was a
comedy, but it it took methrough like emotional roller
coasters and not all of themwere bad.
Some of them were like justbeautiful emotional moments,
Like when were bad.
Some of them were like justbeautiful emotional moments,
like when she's on the airplanesimulator.
(43:17):
You know like there was so manyemotional moments.
Jess (43:23):
What was that moment though?
Wonderful storytelling,wonderful like just seeing her
community, seeing her build thatit was beautiful.
That was one of my favoritemoments of the show too.
Niq (43:37):
Yeah, me too.
I really, really loved it.
And so one of the things wewere talking about when we were
in pre-production was we weretalking about how healing is not
linear.
And so in the beginning of theshow, the first episode, I would
say she's pretty darn near atrock bottom, yeah.
And so she's realizing that sheneeds to make a change and
(43:59):
she's making changes and youkind of see throughout the
season that she's taking a stepforward, she's taking a step
back, she's trying things, she'sgetting nervous, she's pulled
back.
Like she gets into like toxickind of behaviors, like I feel
like that tryst with the fruitof the agricultural security
(44:20):
guard I feel like that was liketo me getting back to like that
her talk more toxic behavior,because she wasn't looking for
anything other than a tryst, youknow, as a way to try to get
over her feelings.
I feel like for Alex, and youknow so, but I think that that
made a lot of sense to me howhealing is not linear and you're
(44:41):
going to have ups and downs andyou may be on a winning streak
and then you may fall all theway back.
Yeah, so I did like how theyillustrated that?
Jess (44:51):
Yeah, I did.
I enjoyed that.
I enjoyed that sort of twosteps forward, two steps back
element within the story becauseit felt really real and maybe
that's it too part of the why itdoesn't feel like a palate
cleanser, because her movementthrough this process of healing
feels very real, because it'snot just this sharp turn up, you
know what I mean.
(45:12):
She's going back and forth,she's stumbling with things,
she's messing things up, youknow.
Niq (45:18):
I think you know there's a common thread do in the show.
This is what do the things thatyou're afraid of, or do
something that's gonna make youscared or something like that.
And I honestly, like hersituation, I think touches on
deep fears that I have of likebeing a failure, being alone.
(45:39):
You know what I mean.
Like her as a character, Ithink it touches on deep fears
that I have and so I thinkthat's why, like watching the
show, like my anxiety is like,oh my God, what is she going to
do?
How is she going to make it?
Make it, you know, and that'sinteresting because I I have not
experienced that in a show.
I don't know ever.
Jess (46:00):
Oh well, I don't know how good this show is.
Niq (46:04):
The show is it is a great.
It's a great show.
It is.
It's just not the show Ithought I was watching.
What you sold me, which was Ithought I was watching, is that
what you sold me?
I thought I was watching atravel comedy about someone who
had never traveled before andshe was going to have all of
these adventures in all of thisdifferent place, and instead it
(46:25):
was like a woman who wascompletely broken and trying to
like, with her fingernails, pullherself up out of a.
Well, but there's laughter,okay.
Jess (46:41):
I can't, I can't.
Niq (46:46):
So once again, cannot recommend the show enough.
I think it's a great show andit's just the fact that my
husband was hearing snippets andhe was just walking by I feel
was hearing snippets and like hewas like just walking by, I
feel like trying to hear moreand more, like it lets you know
like how good the show is.
Like he's like literally earhustling the show and he's like
I think I need to watch that andI'm like I think you do.
Jess (47:10):
I do want to know.
Let me know what his responseis.
But, same, you know, I alwaysdo my rewatch when I'm getting
my hair done with one of myfriends and so same, like she
really enjoyed it, laughed thewhole time.
We really had a good time withthe show and I was like, okay,
I'm not crazy, it is funny.
Niq (47:26):
So she didn't have any emotional reactions.
Jess (47:28):
Yeah, you know what?
Yes, yes, she did.
She had the emotional reactionat one of the same places we did
with not having emergencycontact.
I'm sure there was a few others, but that was the strongest one
.
Oh, and then too, yeah, I thinkshe feels the same way you do
about the best friend character.
Niq (47:49):
As a matter of fact, I think in the next episode we
need to get into relationships.
Jess (47:55):
How does that sound, that sounds wonderful.
Niq (47:57):
Alright, awesome.
Okay, guys, tune in for ournext episode where we're going
to be discussing how to get howto dial on the relationships in
the show.
Alright, see you next time.
Bye, guys.
Hi guys, welcome to next episode with your host, Niq, and
I'm Jess, and today we're goingto be discussing how to die
alone.
Yes, so, jess, can you givethem like a quick story on how
we chose this show as the nextshow to cover?
Jess (00:20):
Well, we went over several shows that felt really heavy,
like they were really good showsbut they had like a lot of
harsh themes, a lot of some hadsome violence, a lot of murder,
things like that.
So we needed a palate cleanser,something to kind of lighten
the mood.
So I suggested one of mycomfort shows, which is how to
Die Alone, as a palate cleanser.
Niq (00:44):
This show did not cleanse my palate, like I'm going to say
, and I say that as I really,really enjoyed the show, but
there was a lot of seriousness.
It's a comedy, it is it's acomedy After your reflection.
Jess (00:59):
I went back and looked it up.
I'm like, no, it is definitelylisted as a comedy.
Some places say dramedy, butyou know, and I think that's
fair.
Niq (01:07):
It's a comedy.
I'm not saying that it's not acomedy, but it deals with a lot
of heavy stuff.
This could not be a comfortshow for me.
How do you define your comfortshow?
Jess (01:23):
Honestly, I kind of fall into them.
It's a show that feelscomforting for me to watch.
So even way before we decidedwe were going to cover this show
, I watched it and then Iimmediately watched it again and
then I just kept watching it.
I've actually watched the showso many times I can't even tell
you how many times I've watchedit.
And that's what makes it acomfort show to me that when I
can't think of anything else towatch or I just don't have the
(01:45):
energy to start something new, Irewatch this show.
It's one of the shows that Irewatch.
I have several comfort shows,but that's what a comfort show
is to me.
Something about this show iscomforting.
So let me give a brief overview.
The show follows Melissa, who isan airport worker.
Her life is a total mess whenwe start the show.
(02:07):
She's lost the love of her lifea couple of years ago, but he's
getting married and it justkind of puts a tailspin on
everything.
She has a near-death experiencewhich then pushes her to
transform her life.
It is a comedy at the airport,but I don't know.
I think so.
I say that to say I thinkMelissa, the main character, who
(02:28):
is a fat Black woman and thatis very much a part of who she
is in the show.
I think just seeing that iscomforting to me.
Niq (02:38):
Okay, because I agree with your definition of comfort shows
.
I do like it is somethingpredictable.
I think is why it's out likeI've watched my comfort shows
every year for x amount of years.
I know exactly what's going tohappen.
Even if the show is tensebecause I already know the
ending, I still find comfort init.
So yes, we do have the samedefinition.
(02:59):
I guess this show for me wouldnot be a comfort show and I
think it's for the, for the samereason why you find it a
comfort show is the same reasonit could never be a comfort show
for me.
I do relate strongly with thecharacter, but her life is in
such a mess that it gives meanxiety oh wow, okay, like you
(03:23):
know what I mean, like thatfeeling of being stuck and
everything is falling apart andhaving to build yourself up from
the ground.
It gives me, even while I'menjoying watching the show, it
gives me intense anxiety.
I worry about her.
I worry about her choices, thechoices that she makes.
I would never make thosechoices, which typically is not
(03:46):
a problem for me with othercharacters but I think it is so
easy to put myself in her shoesthat when she does something
that I would never do, I'm likewhat, what are we doing here?
Our life is already a mess.
We've already got all theseissues.
Why are you making it worse?
What are you doing?
So, yeah, that it's.
It's like when I was watchingthis show, I had to call you and
(04:08):
I'm like um, you said.
And also, I would like to pointout she does not have a
near-death experience.
She dies for three minutes.
That is not a near-deathexperience.
That that is a death experience.
She just happened to come back.
Jess (04:24):
She came back to life.
That's what she's not dead.
Niq (04:28):
And it's also in the first episode.
And so the way you describe theshow like, oh, this is my
comfort show, it'll be a palatecleanser from all of the heavy
shows that we have been watching.
And whereas in some ways it'snot as heavy as the shows that
we've been watching, because itdoes have a comedy basis, she
dies in the first episode.
(04:51):
You were gonna take that sohard.
It traumatized me for so manyreasons, and so I'll get more
into the reasons why the deathtraumatized me later on.
But I'm just saying like I hadto call you and say are you sure
am I watching the right show?
Because I don't.
I don't think.
I thought, like when we talkedabout the show, I'm like, oh,
(05:15):
you know, it's someone who needsa change in their life and I
thought I was going to bewatching a show.
But like this woman who likegoes on like this, traveling
around the country, findingherself or maybe around the
world, having these experiencesand they were going to change
her outlook on life.
And then when I get there and Istart the show and I'm like
this woman is like this is gonnasound terrible, she's kind of a
(05:40):
loser, like she's like her.
she's kind of like a loser andI'm just like what are we doing
here?
What are we doing?
I did enjoy the show.
I do love the character ofMelissa.
I do too.
It was a shock to my systembecause it's not what I
envisioned the show to be, andyou know what?
(06:02):
Honestly, I don't get shockedthat often these days.
So I guess it was a goodexperience, but I just it really
kind of threw me for a loop.
Jess (06:14):
Yeah, I know you definitely took a lot of it.
I guess to me it balances theheavy moments with comedy.
It just always feels light,even when we're dealing with
something that's really heavy ordark.
That's why I'm like I guess Idid not respond that well.
Even the way she's learningabout what happened to her it's
(06:38):
comedic.
She wakes up in the hospital,the doctors are rounding on her
teaching and they're sayingstuff in the craziest way.
So it's funny.
It feel it still feels light tome.
There's a heavy moment butthere's always going to be a
light moment right afterwards.
Niq (06:54):
I don't know, I just yeah, I mean the show like, because
the show literally that we werewatching right before this, um
we had to take a break frombecause it was so heavy, um, and
so, yes, this show is like Isaid, this show is a comedy, but
it was for me, I guess I it waslike trauma first, levity
(07:19):
second, and I think when youwatch it it's levity first and
trauma second.
Jess (07:24):
Yeah, I mean.
Even sometimes the traumaticparts are still intertwined with
the comedy.
Niq (07:32):
But that's so interesting to me because a lot of times we
are so aligned with how weexperience things.
Yes, it's just like.
This is, like, so interestingto me.
We watched the same show andhad different visceral reactions
to it, and this is the show ofall of the different shows we've
(07:56):
watched like.
This is the show where I feellike I'm on one side of the
mirror and you're on the otherside, and that's interesting
because we both enjoyed the show.
Jess (08:04):
But we definitely had different experiences while
watching the show Absolutely,because it's still a comfort
show for me, I still havewatched it.
I've watched it twice since wetalked about it earlier this
week.
Niq (08:17):
I have watched it twice and I think I would only watch it
again if I'm watching it with myhusband, because I think that
we could have really interestingconversations about it, and so
I would be willing to watch it.
I mean, I wouldn't say that Iwould never watch it again, but
it's not on my rewatch listunless it serves a purpose, like
I said.
Jess (08:38):
Okay and then.
But there's a season two comingtoo.
Niq (08:41):
I thought it was just a one-off.
I okay, that makes me morehappy than you know be, and I
know we'll get to that.
But I wanted to talk to youabout because I just I thought
it was a one-off.
I I was so concerned about howthe show ended.
I have so many questions, sovery many questions.
(09:05):
So that is very exciting.
So we'll get to.
We'll talk more about thatlater, but I'm very.
That makes me very happybecause I don't, like you know,
I like closure and I have, likeI said, I have a ton of
questions, so that's exciting.
That makes me super happy.
Jess (09:25):
Yeah, so okay, kind of going into.
So one of the things that Ifeel like makes it feel light to
me is the way the story so it'slike.
I feel like.
So this is the main actress.
The lead in this show is playedby Natasha Rothwell, but she's
also one of the main writers,showrunners, like this is her
show, this is Natasha's show,and I love the way she tells
(09:49):
this story, which also, I think,adds celebrity for me, because
there's an element of magicalrealism in the show and so like,
while she's telling thesereally difficult stories,
sometimes it'll break off into adance, break off, but you're
still experiencing what she'sexperiencing through this.
Or you can kind of she'll flashback and you'll like and like
(10:11):
it has like a dreamy overviewand you go into the flashback or
something like that.
Or even if stuff that has nothappened or will not happen, you
just it's almost like you see arepresentation of her thoughts
yes, I was gonna say, it's herinner monologue made real, made
real, and I love that element ofthe show.
That's also what I loveinteresting ways of telling
(10:33):
stories.
So I love the way that thisstory is told, which, again,
like I said, that adds to thelevity for me personally.
Niq (10:40):
So I also enjoy the magical realism.
I love magical realism in books, I love it in shows and in
movies.
So I did enjoy that and I lovedit.
It was like a way to connect toher emotionally.
And I'm going to tell you, myfavorite one was when she took
(11:02):
the Percocet Me too, and so youcan feel the effects.
Took the Percocet Mine too andlike so like you can feel the
effects of the Percocet, like asshe's going through, like it's
like this dance that she's doingwith like people around her and
you kind of just it makes youfeel you know how the Percocet's
making.
And here's the thing I havetaken Percocets before Like I
(11:22):
had like a tooth pulled.
I taken Percocets before like Ihad like a tooth pulled.
I had like other stuff.
I have never experienced thatand I know that there are people
who abuse Percocets and I couldnever understand that because
I'm just like, am I missingsomething here?
It has never been anything morethan it kind of dulled my pain.
I'm like why I've never hadthis like euphoric experience
(11:44):
with Percocets and I'm just likewhy I've never had this
euphoric experience withPercocets and I'm just like I
don't know.
I also know that I'm notsomeone who enjoys taking drugs.
It really is not my thing.
But when she was taking that Iwas kind of a little bit jealous
during that sequence BecauseI'm like man Percocets have
never made me feel that way.
Jess (12:03):
And I can't say that Percocet specifically, but I
definitely have had like drugsthat I've gotten after surgeries
that made me feel like loopy,like that.
You know what I mean, but Ienjoyed that too.
That is like one of my favoriteelements of Metro.
The choreography yes, the jerky.
This movements the up and down.
You know what I mean, how she'sseeing the world differently
while she's on it and the sharpchange when she starts coming
(12:26):
down from the Percocet.
I loved that.
Oh, I love that one.
Niq (12:30):
Yeah, that was my favorite one.
Okay, so now I have a questionto ask, being that you know
there are aspects of magicalrealism.
Do you consider the characterElise Robinson, who she meets in
the hospital?
Do you consider her like amagical Negro?
And can they be a magical Negroif the person they're also
(12:52):
talking to is a Negro?
Jess (12:55):
No, I don't think so.
I don't think they can be amagical Negro, if you're also.
If you're, if this is not justbecause not if it's one Black
person talking to another, butthis is a Black cast, this is a
Black, while there are peoplewho are not Black in the film,
it's very Black and I think themagical Negro concept comes from
.
That is the only that's.
That character's only functionin a White world to me, Okay,
(13:18):
but she is vagravancing herthough.
She is, but, like I guess, Istill don't see it as that trope
, because there are other people.
There are people who lift herup, there are people who pull
her down.
It's not like we're in thiscompletely white setting and
then this magical Negro comesalong whose only function is to
make the white person's lifebetter.
(13:38):
Otherwise you're not in ourworld.
All the characters playdifferent parts in lifting her
up, pulling her down, all thiskind of stuff, but they're all
Black, not all Black.
Niq (13:53):
I know specifically that it doesn't hit all the points of
the Magical Negro, but the ladypops in, drops heavy, heavy,
like spiritual kind of, likeknowledge on her, gives her like
a purpose and you know it'skind of is the is the cat, is
(14:14):
the start of her journey towardsbetter and then the woman
immediately dies.
Jess (14:20):
She does, but her presence is still through the rest of
the show.
Niq (14:23):
Yes, she does keep her presence through the rest of the
show.
Yes, she does keep her presencethrough the rest of the show,
but once again it's as aspiritual guy.
It's going to be a littlevagabond, which I don't have a
problem with, I don't have anissue with, but I think it kind
of.
I think it fits in because ofthe magical realism.
Already it's just like that.
(14:45):
She's like almost like a fairygodmother.
Jess (14:48):
Yeah, I don't think I'm better than magical Negro, but
yeah, I don't know, because Ithink of.
I think what I associate thattrope with is like more of a
usury kind of nature of Blackpeople and it did not feel like
that to me.
Niq (15:02):
I agree it did not feel like that, but when I saw the
show I thought I'm like man.
Can you have a magical Negro ifeverybody's a Negro Is what I
thought, because I'm just likeshe.
It felt very magical, spiritualGod.
Jess (15:17):
Yeah, and she still can be like an, and I think she's
supposed to be an inspirationalfigure, she's supposed to be a
God to them.
But like she's not the onlything that changes her either,
like that near death experiencestill is a big catalyst and she
was unhappy.
She was unhappy.
And what is it?
(15:38):
What's his name?
Alex getting married, her exgetting married, like all of
these things happening at thesame time fuel this change.
It's not just you know, atleast coming in almost like um
you know what I mean like theghost of christmas past.
Niq (15:50):
Like you need to change so, since we're talking about
everything happening at once, Iwant to talk about pacing in
this show, because in the firstepisode, as we say, she dies,
but before she dies, she findsout that her ex is getting
married.
It's her birthday.
Jess (16:12):
It is her birthday.
Yeah, that's true.
I forgot that one.
Niq (16:14):
They sent the invitation on her birthday.
That irritated me, but whatever.
So it's her birthday and shefinds out that her ex is getting
married.
She has birthday plans with herbest friend, who cancels on her
, and that's how she ends up athome putting together furniture,
(16:35):
which leads to her death, eventhough it was only three minutes
, and she wakes up in thehospital and the episode is not
even over.
All of that happens, and thisis a 30 minute show.
That's 45, oh is it?
Jess (16:54):
it goes by so fast it does , maybe it is 30 minutes.
The whole thing is like 4 hours.
So yeah, you're right, 30minutes.
Niq (17:04):
I rewatched the entire season and the time that it took
me to meal prep today.
I'm like it's got to be a 30minute show.
Yeah, that's true, and all ofthat happens, and the episode is
not over and she's not evendone being devastated, mm-hmm,
like they really pack a lot inthese episodes.
Jess (17:26):
Yeah.
Niq (17:28):
Like, but how do you do you feel like it was on fast
forward?
Like, do you?
Because, like, once again, thisis my first time watching the
show and in my mind, as I'mwatching it, you're telling me
this is a comfort show, this islike a light show.
You know, like this will giveyou some, you know, a breather
from all the more serious shows.
And I'm like I'm meeting thisgirl and I'm like, oh, she seems
(17:52):
fun, she's great at her job.
You know, you start out like,oh my gosh, like she's so fun
and she's so cool.
And then you get you see thewedding invitation and you're
like, oh, man, that's messed up.
And then you get you see thewedding invitation and you're
like, oh, man, that's messed up.
And then you see, well, she hasplanned for her birthday.
And then you see her, her bestfriend, stand her up and like,
man, that's messed up.
And then she dies.
I feel like rather violently.
(18:13):
I know you said you felt likethe death was comedic, but it
felt very, very kind of violentto me.
Jess (18:20):
She dies but, like, while she's eating a a crab rangoon,
she's fighting the rats for thecrab rangoon and in that process
, basically an umlaut dresserfalls on top of her.
Niq (18:33):
Yeah, yeah, the dresser, like she's turned away so she
doesn't even see it and she'snot standing up either.
She's not standing up because Ifeel like if she stood up it
wouldn't have been so bad.
So she's kind of like crouchingand this big piece of furniture
falls on her and slams into theback of her head and the front
(18:56):
of her face, like slams into thefloor and she's all alone.
And she's all alone and theonly reason why she did not stay
dead is because the neighborlike heard, like the crash and
called 911.
And when the neighbor comesover to see her, they're
literally performing CPR on herand there's blood everywhere.
(19:18):
Yeah, that was traumatic.
So for me I'm just like what isthis?
What are we watching?
That was traumatic.
So for me I'm just like what isthis?
What are you watching?
And so when you're at thehospital, she's waking up.
The nurse is telling her hey,you know you can go home, but
someone has to come and get you.
So she calls her best friend,who does not answer the phone
(19:46):
because he is on a date, eventhough he lied to her and told
her he was going to a charityfunction.
What you found out initially isthat she's her own emergency
contact.
Jess (19:52):
That was sad.
Which was the saddest thingthat was sadder for me than her
getting hit with furniture.
Niq (20:00):
Like that, when she said, oh, that's my number.
Like that I have neverexperienced anything like that
in my entire life and I guessthat's a beautiful thing to be
able to say.
But being your own emergencycontact is a a loneliness that I
can't explain and like thatliterally broke my heart.
(20:23):
It broke my heart and so she'scalling her friend.
He doesn't come get her.
So she eventually calls herbrother.
It's just to call him severaltimes and he comes to pick her
up and as soon as she gets inthe car he starts berating her
about how he's upset that he hasto come and get her and the
fact that she doesn't havefriends who could come and pick
(20:45):
her up from the hospital and shealways needs something from him
.
And so to a certain extent Ican understand feeling like you
are the sibling.
That is always like doing forthe other sibling and they just
don't want to get their stufftogether.
And it's not that I want tocompletely disregard his
(21:06):
feelings, but there is no waythat I could be in the hospital
for anything, anything, and oneof my siblings or my friends
would not move heaven and earthto be there If I had a splinter.
(21:29):
I know that there's sevenpeople I can call and who will
come and sit by my bed while thedoctor is like needling in
there and I'm going ooh, ooh,ooh, and so that once again that
hurt.
Jess (21:44):
That did hurt.
That was hard to watch.
The hospital staff offered usjobs while you were giving birth
.
Niq (21:49):
They did.
You guys were my superstarsupport team, holding my legs in
the air, doing everything.
The nurses, like they did, likedid the medical stuff, but that
was it.
You guys did everything elseand I was never alone for one
(22:13):
moment, from the time I wentinto the hospital until the time
that I left.
Jess (22:18):
I do agree with you that this part that was hard to watch
.
As a person, I have a veryclose community, but even though
me and my sibling are not asclose as you and yours, there's
no way that he would come pickme up from the hospital if I
needed him.
And he wouldn't make me feelbad about it.
In that moment I'm like, ifanything, your brother would be
(22:40):
cracking jokes.
Niq (22:40):
He would absolutely, but he would never make you feel bad.
Jess (22:43):
You're right about being hip to come pick me up at the
hospital.
That was crazy to me.
The expectation that herfriends come get her from the
hospital instead of her brotherwas crazy to me.
Niq (22:57):
Yes, especially because they obviously live in proximity
to each other.
Like you, live out of Planes,trains and automobiles, right?
You live out of states.
You know what I mean From yoursibling, but they would still
come if they needed to.
Absolutely.
I live in proximity to onesibling and not in proximity to
(23:18):
another sibling, and wheneverI've told my brother about
different things that I've gonethrough, I always tell him way
after the fact, the first thinghe says is why didn't you call
me?
Why didn't you tell me?
You know even my dad I wastelling my dad about like years
later I was telling him aboutsome stuff I went through in a
relationship and he was like whyare you acting like you don't
(23:39):
have anybody?
Why are you not telling mewhat's going on?
And I'm like because I don'twant you to end up in jail.
So no, I can't tell you aboutstuff when it's actually
happening.
I gotta put a two-year buffer onwhat's going on so you don't
end up locked up.
(24:00):
But I just can't imagine.
Jess (24:02):
Let me tell you what I think is funny.
And, mind you, I told you thescene where she is her own
emergency contact was harder forme than her getting hit with
the furniture, because that wasjust objectively sad.
But I do find it funny that youtake this really personally
when you're married with afamily and I'm decidedly single.
So like the idea and I justonly say that because the idea
(24:23):
of dying alone is probably theonly thing that bothers me is
like dang if I fall down thesestairs there is no one coming
you know what I mean, so I getthat and I relate with that, but
it still seems like you took itso much harder than.
Niq (24:35):
I did, I did and I guess it's.
I think it's just I don't like,I don't know.
There is something so sad youknow what I mean About her
situation.
I think it would be mynightmare probably, because,
like you know, my husband and Iwe're a little codependent, you
(24:56):
know, we locked in, you know,and so her situation is like
nightmare fuel for me, like nothaving anybody in the world.
I've never experienced that.
Jess (25:09):
I've always had somebody, you know, and so I don't even
know how to navigate thatsituation yeah, no, and I mean
like, even, like I said, like Iplayed on being single for the
rest of my life I'm not gettingthere again but even and I moved
very far away from my, mynatural support system but I
(25:30):
have a community.
I just got sick, you know, justlike a 10-day quarantine of
myself and people like can Isend you soup?
Do you need somebody to come?
You know what I mean.
So, yeah, that, the idea ofhaving truly not even a
community, yeah, that is scary,and part of what I think is the
reason is the trouble with herand Rory's friendship and I know
(25:51):
we'll get into this in moredetail is just that pressure all
on one person.
That's a lot.
Niq (25:57):
I have thoughts about that.
I knew I felt a particular wayfor a particular reason, but
then I got evidence, so I'mexcited to talk about that when
the time comes.
Okay, he's the worst and I haveevidence to prove it.
Jess (26:12):
I disagree.
That's problematic.
Okay, never mind, because we'regoing to get to it.
Niq (26:20):
It's so juicy, it's so juicy, it's so juicy, it's so
juicy.
Okay, so we need to like fullyset up the premise of the show,
because I think we haven'ttalked about one thing that's
very, very important.
So Melissa makes the decisionto go to Alex, which is her
(26:41):
ex-boyfriend's wedding in Hawaii.
She's never flown on a planebefore.
She has an extreme fear offlying, and so she's decided
that she's going to face herfear and she's going to go to
his wedding.
She is beyond broke.
So what she she accidentally,when she's leaving the hospital,
(27:03):
they give her a Lisa's baginstead of her own bag, and she
books a flight to Hawaiiaii onelisa's credit card yes, she
does and that was when I'm likewait a minute, now I'm, I'm
rooting for you, melissa I.
(27:23):
that's the first time I was likehave you lost your mind?
Like what do you think?
Jess (27:27):
Yeah, no, there's definitely some moral issues
with Melissa.
You know what I mean.
There's definitely.
But I like that.
I like that, you know, I likewhen they don't make the
characters perfect.
I don't, you know, there are noperfect people.
Niq (27:45):
So there she is a big part of the reason why her life is
the way that it is.
She is 100% the reason why herlife is the way that it is Now.
Does she have extenuatingcircumstances?
She does, but she, honestly, isher own worst enemy, and that's
after meeting her mama.
I still think that she is herown worst enemy and that's after
(28:06):
meeting her mama.
I still think that she is herown Number two.
Her mom, no, okay, so no, sheis her own worst enemy.
Number two is a three-way tiebetween her mama, her brother
and her alleged best friend.
It's a three-way tie, but sheis her own worst enemy.
(28:27):
I just this is going to sound.
I don't know how it's going tosound, but I'm going to say it.
I don't know a lot of Blackwomen like her.
Jess (28:41):
Okay and well, no, actually okay, now that I've
moved and I've experienced therest of the world.
Yeah, I'm experiencingdifferent things.
That's not the Black women thattypically are in my circle and
that's not the Black women thatI typically, you know, am
acquainted with, but I have beenmade aware that they do exist.
But I also like that, becauseone of the things and I'm pretty
(29:04):
sure so, if you don't, natashaRothwell was on Insecure, which
was done by Issa Rae, and I'mstruggling to remember whether
or not this was an interviewwith both her and Issa Rae or
just Issa Rae, but either way,one of the things that she put
out there that I think Natashaalso does is not having to be a
perfect Black woman, and I thinkthat's one of the elements that
(29:26):
I love about this show is that,no, she's messed up, she's got
issues.
She's got some character issuesthat need to be worked out.
You know what I mean?
She's got some stuff, thatshe's got big areas needing to
grow, which I like.
I like showing differentelements that we are not all you
know, because while there's alot of us who are like
superstars and striving as hardas we can against the world,
(29:49):
that's all constantly fightingus.
Yeah, some of us are notperfect, and that is okay.
Niq (29:55):
I definitely.
It's not perfection, it's.
I don't understand.
What are you doing with yourlife?
And, yes, everything you saidis correct, everything that you
said is correct, but I guessthere are things that are so
deeply ingrained in me.
I'm like, girl, you are 35.
(30:16):
Did you not go to college?
Why don't you have a master'sdegree?
What are you doing with yourlife?
I'm just like you're talkingabout, like oh, you were working
at a Thai restaurant.
As a grown woman, I'm just likeI'm like she doesn't have any
children.
(30:36):
What are you doing with yourtime?
Jess (30:41):
This is a great life.
Niq (30:42):
She is just truly waiting, right, and I'm like I this is
probably going to sound classist, I don't know For the class
that it seems that she's in Iexpect more out of her.
You know, because there areother like.
(31:03):
Like if you are someone whostarts out in a lower class, you
may not understand things, youdon't have access to things.
You have to like it's harderfor you.
You know what I mean.
Like if you are the firstperson.
I'm basing it on the mom, whoseems to have like herself
(31:26):
together, somewhat Like, notfully mentally, but she seems to
be together.
Her brother is very much givingcollege educated.
Jess (31:35):
Yeah, but he also gives me first, you know, first
generation college.
Niq (31:38):
Yes, I agree, but I was the first to go to college.
But that made it easier for mysister because I had already
navigated it Like we were tryingto.
We were literally figuring itout, me and my mom you know what
I mean.
And so then, when it was timefor my sister, it was easier.
Jess (31:56):
It was easier when you and your mom were willing to help
your sister.
You got a mom and brother whotreat her like crap.
You know what I mean.
Like yes, for most siblingsthat would make it easier, but
he is hell-bent on, you know,not helping her so that he can
continue to complain about herto me.
Niq (32:17):
You know I guess that's a good point.
Jess (32:19):
So, like, if you don't like, not everybody reaches
their hand back and liftsanybody up.
You know, I think he likesbeing the good one, the star, so
he can sit there and pretendlike he's you know the best
thing in the world and he cancomplain about her.
Niq (32:34):
And she said that.
I think she said mom didn't putyou on a pedestal, but she made
sure that I was so low that Iwould always have to look up to
you.
Jess (32:43):
Or that you could always look down on me.
Niq (32:45):
Yeah, essentially, and so I'm just like yikes.
But yeah, so I'm just like girl, what are you doing?
Jess (32:52):
But like you got to see how both of them do that.
So then him going to college,because he does give me college
educated too, but and she seemslike somebody who would have
done well in college, but youhad she's had to navigate
everything herself, and while hemight give her five, ten
dollars here and there to makeup in me, he's not gonna do
nothing.
Niq (33:11):
That's really gonna pull her up yeah, I guess I can say
that that makes sense.
So, yeah, there's like I'vebeen like working through the
disconnect that I feel with her,as much as I empathize, and
then like I'm just like rootingfor her so hard, but then like
(33:32):
she goes and she does something.
I'm like girl, what are you?
But then she goes and she doessomething.
I'm like girl, what are you,melissa?
What are you?
Jess (33:37):
doing Melissa?
Come on, no, she does she doessomething Credit card.
Niq (33:42):
Oh, okay, another thing she does.
That.
I'm just like, what are youdoing?
She steals her brother's socialsecurity number so that he can
co-sign on her hospital loan.
Jess (33:52):
Okay, let me tell you why I didn't understand that.
This is why I didn't understandthat.
I'm like she acted like thathospital bill needs to be paid
tomorrow.
I'm like it's a hospital bill.
Niq (34:01):
I first of all you should have told them hey, I don't make
that much money.
And one renegotiated that billbecause it was like $30,000 and
you didn't even stay overnight.
That's crazy.
She should have called herinsurance company and had them
negotiate the bill down.
Or she should have called andsaid, hey, I can't pay this bill
, but also, girl, they wouldhave had to chase me down for
(34:26):
that money, all the other billsyou got piling up are more
important than the hospital bill.
Jess (34:32):
They can't put it on your credit.
Why are you acting like thishospital bill is the end of the
world.
Let that thing sit, yeah.
Niq (34:38):
I didn't understand.
Jess (34:39):
Even like the having to have a credit to do the payment
plan, like, okay, so I don'thave a guarantor, so y'all just
don't want to get your money.
Niq (34:50):
The hospital eventually will be like, oh well, we need
to you know what I mean, Right,Because I'm like you're not
taking out a loan to pay thehospital bill.
I thought, yeah, I didn'tunderstand, Like there was like,
but even if you, for whateverreason she had, and she told me
about that she told the dudethat she was in the high-flying
(35:11):
class.
I was like, even if I had doneit, I would never admit that, no
, but it's once again like she'smaking these decisions, and I'm
like Melissa.
What are we doing?
here, and I mean like maybe youshould have called your mom and
asked her to be a guarantor.
Maybe you should have calledyour mom and told her that you
died.
For three minutes.
Jess (35:31):
The way her mom talks to her.
I can understand she neverwants to bring anything to her.
It's not comforting, you knowwhat I mean, Like it's not
really safe.
I mean, and sadly she didn'task her brother either, she just
stole his social securitynumber because again, asking
them for anything is a lot.
But that hospital bill was notan emergency.
Niq (35:50):
It wasn't, they were holding you in the hospital.
You couldn't leave until youpaid it.
Yeah, I didn't understand whyshe let that weigh so heavily.
Yeah, her decision making isvery off.
Jess (36:03):
But again, like what does she?
You know, I think it's hard toconnect.
It's easy to connect with heron like the surface level
because like, yeah, bothoverweight black women in
America, it's a lot.
But I think where thedisconnect comes from is that
we've always had people in thosedifferent steps, in those
different areas that can give usshe has nobody right and I
(36:24):
don't.
I guess I just can't that's thebridge, that like so yeah, so
you really don't know that thathouse will be fine, it's not
going to go on your credit.
There's nothing they can do,but just send you notices.
Niq (36:37):
So there's something that she says, reoccurring through
the show She'll say to someonethat they don't really know her.
She said it to Alex, I thinkshe said it to her brother.
She might have even said it toRory, but I'm not sure about
that.
But my question is she keepssaying that.
Oh, I think maybe even Terrence, maybe she keeps telling people
(36:58):
that they don't know her and myquestion is does she know her?
Jess (37:02):
Does she know herself?
No, she does not, I don't thinkso.
I think this whole story is herkind of going through this
process of journey of getting toknow herself, getting to know
who she is.
But I also think she doesn'tshow her full self because her
self-esteem is so low.
She does not show her full selfto people.
Niq (37:21):
What is she hiding, though, other than her criminal
activities?
I'm like what?
Jess (37:28):
She's not hiding the criminal activities.
She tells multiple people.
Niq (37:31):
I'm like what is she hiding ?
Because we see her when she'salone, we see her when she's
around other people, through themagical realism.
We get like a lot of herthoughts and her feelings and I
don't really understand or seewhat she's hiding?
Jess (37:50):
I don't know that she's hiding, or she just doesn't feel
worthy of a lot of things.
You know what I mean.
Know that she's hiding or shejust doesn't feel worthy of a
lot of things?
You know what I mean.
Like she can't fully be herselfor in relationship with Alice
because she doesn't feel worthyof it.
She doesn't feel worthy ofpeople caring about her.
She doesn't feel worthy ofpeople, you know, supporting her
.
So then she kind of resorts tosome of these tricks and stuff
to get her needs met, but shedoesn't feel worthy of people
(38:14):
just genuinely caring about her.
Niq (38:17):
And so when she's saying, you don't really know me.
What she's saying is you thinkI'm worth more than I actually
am.
Jess (38:24):
To me.
Niq (38:25):
I'm really worthless, and if you really knew me, you
wouldn't invest in me.
Jess (38:32):
She almost says that exactly when she's describing
why she broke things off withAlex.
When she's talking to Roy,she's saying, like you know, I
had to break it off with himbefore he broke it off with me
because in two months he wouldknow, he would see who I really
am and he would leave me shealso said it's exhausting like
being this version of me for himand I'm just like I wonder I
(38:55):
would have loved a little bitlike more understanding, because
I'm, like you seem very happy.
Niq (39:02):
You know what I mean.
And so is that where thepretending is, like you know,
when you're with him you'repretending to be happier than
you really are.
What was exhausting?
Because it seems like you'reenjoying yourself.
She was like all up in hisgrill.
So what was exhausting aboutbeing that version of yourself?
(39:22):
You know, because beingpretending is hard and it's work
and it's exhausting.
So I'm like, were you notreally happy?
Where was the exhaustion comingfrom?
Jess (39:36):
Maybe not being comfortable to be her full self,
maybe so, because I'm not onewho wants her to end up with
Alex Same.
I think that there's benefitsfor her on the show, whether or
not it's that time period thatthey met in and just missing
(39:57):
their moment, which I do thinkis a big element of it, or
herself, and well, I think it'sboth.
She missed her moment with him,but then she also did not have
the confidence to, orself-esteem to, carry off that
relationship.
You know what I mean.
So like she felt so low that,yeah, it would be taxing on her
because she's constantlyquestioning why he's with her or
(40:20):
if he's real and all this kindof stuff.
There's probably a whole bunchof mental stuff going on with
her because she cannot acceptthat somebody like him loves her
.
Niq (40:29):
I don't think that they're compatible.
Jess (40:31):
You don't think that they're compatible.
Niq (40:33):
No, we can talk more about that when we get into the
relationships.
But I agree, I don't want themtogether and I don't think that
they are compatible.
If she's going to be the personthat she wants to be, okay,
okay.
Well, yes, we'll get into thatLast thing.
Jess (40:49):
I would like to talk about , just about the storytelling
aspect of it.
It's not something we talkabout, so I'm throwing this at
you a little bit, but the musicin the show I feel like is
really good in the storytellinglike the soundtrack of this show
is amazing.
But one of my favorite momentsof that and I don't know if you
know, you know, pay attention tothis song but in the moment
(41:09):
where she's kind of goingthrough the breakup with rory,
her best best friend, there's asong playing in the background.
I think it's by James Blake.
It was like in the end it wasFriends who Broke my Heart and
it's like, oh my God, it's likealmost this really kind of
ethereal, eerie sounding songthat's playing in the background
and then it gets louder as theykind of break up.
(41:30):
And there's so many momentslike that with different music
in the show that I'm just likethe music feels like also part
of that magical nature of thestorytelling, all of that, and I
love the choices that they madeas far as music.
Niq (41:45):
I was just excited to hear Angel's Margarita song in the
show.
Jess (41:48):
Girl, girl.
Niq (41:51):
I was so proud of her.
Oh perfect.
Jess (41:53):
That starts off one of the episodes.
Give me one Margarita.
That song Perfect choice forthat episode.
I loved it.
Did you notice the music?
Niq (42:04):
I did.
I think I'm right.
Was Natasha Rothwell not also awriter on Insecure I?
Jess (42:12):
think so yeah.
Niq (42:14):
One of the things that Insecure, I think so yeah, and
so one of the things thatInsecure did also was they
allowed their music to helpfurther the story, and so I
definitely picked up on it.
I definitely and I'm like, oh,I think that that was like the
if you were going to take anyaspect and have any correlation
(42:36):
with insecure, I definitelythink using music to further
your storytelling was beautiful.
Yes, I think the music, I thinkit made like because they use
it in like the magical, likerealism, like vignettes and
scenes.
It was, it was it.
(42:56):
It did add a layer because,once again, yes, the show was a
comedy, but it it took methrough like emotional roller
coasters and not all of themwere bad.
Some of them were like justbeautiful emotional moments,
Like when were bad.
Some of them were like justbeautiful emotional moments,
like when she's on the airplanesimulator.
(43:17):
You know like there was so manyemotional moments.
Jess (43:23):
What was that moment though?
Wonderful storytelling,wonderful like just seeing her
community, seeing her build thatit was beautiful.
That was one of my favoritemoments of the show too.
Niq (43:37):
Yeah, me too.
I really, really loved it.
And so one of the things wewere talking about when we were
in pre-production was we weretalking about how healing is not
linear.
And so in the beginning of theshow, the first episode, I would
say she's pretty darn near atrock bottom, yeah.
And so she's realizing that sheneeds to make a change and
(43:59):
she's making changes and youkind of see throughout the
season that she's taking a stepforward, she's taking a step
back, she's trying things, she'sgetting nervous, she's pulled
back.
Like she gets into like toxickind of behaviors, like I feel
like that tryst with the fruitof the agricultural security
(44:20):
guard I feel like that was liketo me getting back to like that
her talk more toxic behavior,because she wasn't looking for
anything other than a tryst, youknow, as a way to try to get
over her feelings.
I feel like for Alex, and youknow so, but I think that that
made a lot of sense to me howhealing is not linear and you're
(44:41):
going to have ups and downs andyou may be on a winning streak
and then you may fall all theway back.
Yeah, so I did like how theyillustrated that?
Jess (44:51):
Yeah, I did.
I enjoyed that.
I enjoyed that sort of twosteps forward, two steps back
element within the story becauseit felt really real and maybe
that's it too part of the why itdoesn't feel like a palate
cleanser, because her movementthrough this process of healing
feels very real, because it'snot just this sharp turn up, you
know what I mean.
(45:12):
She's going back and forth,she's stumbling with things,
she's messing things up, youknow.
Niq (45:18):
I think you know there's a common thread do in the show.
This is what do the things thatyou're afraid of, or do
something that's gonna make youscared or something like that.
And I honestly, like hersituation, I think touches on
deep fears that I have of likebeing a failure, being alone.
(45:39):
You know what I mean.
Like her as a character, Ithink it touches on deep fears
that I have and so I thinkthat's why, like watching the
show, like my anxiety is like,oh my God, what is she going to
do?
How is she going to make it?
Make it, you know, and that'sinteresting because I I have not
experienced that in a show.
I don't know ever.
Jess (46:00):
Oh well, I don't know how good this show is.
Niq (46:04):
The show is it is a great.
It's a great show.
It is.
It's just not the show Ithought I was watching.
What you sold me, which was Ithought I was watching, is that
what you sold me?
I thought I was watching atravel comedy about someone who
had never traveled before andshe was going to have all of
these adventures in all of thisdifferent place, and instead it
(46:25):
was like a woman who wascompletely broken and trying to
like, with her fingernails, pullherself up out of a.
Well, but there's laughter,okay.
Jess (46:41):
I can't, I can't.
Niq (46:46):
So once again, cannot recommend the show enough.
I think it's a great show andit's just the fact that my
husband was hearing snippets andhe was just walking by I feel
was hearing snippets and like hewas like just walking by, I
feel like trying to hear moreand more, like it lets you know
like how good the show is.
Like he's like literally earhustling the show and he's like
I think I need to watch that andI'm like I think you do.
Jess (47:10):
I do want to know.
Let me know what his responseis.
But, same, you know, I alwaysdo my rewatch when I'm getting
my hair done with one of myfriends and so same, like she
really enjoyed it, laughed thewhole time.
We really had a good time withthe show and I was like, okay,
I'm not crazy, it is funny.
Niq (47:26):
So she didn't have any emotional reactions.
Jess (47:28):
Yeah, you know what?
Yes, yes, she did.
She had the emotional reactionat one of the same places we did
with not having emergencycontact.
I'm sure there was a few others, but that was the strongest one
.
Oh, and then too, yeah, I thinkshe feels the same way you do
about the best friend character.
Niq (47:49):
As a matter of fact, I think in the next episode we
need to get into relationships.
Jess (47:55):
How does that sound, that sounds wonderful.
Niq (47:57):
Alright, awesome.
Okay, guys, tune in for ournext episode where we're going
to be discussing how to get howto dial on the relationships in
the show.
Alright, see you next time.
Bye, guys.
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