September 18, 2025 • 23 mins
How do I talk to my children about violence and politics from a faith perspective? If my kid and I disagree on politics, what should I do? How can I prevent my child from being radicalized online? The horrifying execution of Charlie Kirk has forced parents to confront these questions head-on.
KEEPING KIDS SAFE ONLINE
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Next Talk podcast.
We are a nonprofit passionateabout keeping kids safe online.
We're learning together how tonavigate tech, culture and faith
with our kids.
How do we talk to our kidsabout Charlie Kirk?
I've been posting a few thingsover on social media.
My first post was about talkingto your kids about the video of
(00:26):
his death, and I have a lot oftalking points over there.
You can go read that.
But my main point is this Ourkids are so desensitized.
We all witnessed a man beingexecuted and then right after
that, we may have seen abasketball reel or a funny reel.
Our brains are not meant to gofrom seeing a human life taken
(00:52):
and then shift so easily toanother tab being open in our
brain about something that issimple.
This is a whole new world.
We should try to stop andprocess and grieve the taking of
a life Again.
There's more talking pointsover there on our social media.
(01:12):
Maybe it's the desensitizationconversation.
Maybe it's your kid is askingwhy did God allow this to happen
?
We have some bullet points overthere that you can go look at.
But then I also did another postabout the possibility that the
shooter was radicalized online.
We see this a lot with massshootings and I want to talk
(01:36):
about this a little more.
But first, before I dive intothat radicalization, I did get
some messages asking why so muchoutrage over Charlie Kirk?
Like, why didn't you cover theschool shooting that happened
that very week?
And I kind of have one answerto this because that school
(01:57):
shooting wasn't being celebrated.
There's a massive difference intragedy happening all over our
nation to horrible thingspeople's lives being taken.
It's horrible, but it's a wholeother level when we have people
quite a few in mass celebratingthe death, and I think that is
(02:24):
a whole new issue that we'redealing with.
Humanity has fallen.
The moral decay is more than Ieven imagined and we should all
be alarmed.
Also, you know, charlie was aChristian.
He proclaimed the gospel, andso for me he proclaimed the
(02:44):
gospel, and so for me it doestrigger something in me.
I see pastors stand up onstages all the time every
weekend in front of crowds theydon't know.
We cannot live in a countrywhere pastors are afraid of
being shot for teaching theBible.
This is a moment in time whenall of us should pause and say
(03:06):
what just happened here.
As for politics, I've had somepeople ask me political
questions in the DMs and here'swhat I'm going to say publicly.
I think both parties areabsolutely flawed.
They evolve, they change.
(03:26):
Our true, only hope is in Jesus.
Now I know in your home you'reprobably going to need to get
into the details of politicswith your kids.
I want you to do that.
If your kids are small andyoung, this is a little easier.
I'm just going to be honestbecause you're going to share
(03:48):
your political opinion andthey'll probably agree and say
okay.
But as your kid gets older andthey're exposed to more thoughts
online, your kid may askquestions or challenge your
opinion.
Please be careful with how yourespond to your child.
You cannot go off on your childfor speaking a different
(04:11):
political opinion in your home.
Please, your kid is moreimportant than your candidate.
Your kid is more important thanyour political stance.
We say avoid crazy parent modea lot around here.
(04:32):
It is a Next Talk core practice.
This is why when we overreactor don't have a good response,
it shuts down all communication.
Have a good response, it shutsdown all communication.
Then, parents, you lose thevoice in your child's life.
Some of them go no contactbecause of political differences
(04:54):
.
Christian parents listen.
I want to speak directly to youhere for a moment, because
we're honestly terrible at this.
I am terrible at this.
I have been terrible at this.
I'm a work in progress becausewe have strong biblical
principles that we live by andwe have conviction about them.
(05:17):
We feel called to uphold themin our world and through
politics.
I get it in our world andthrough politics.
I get it.
But if your kid questions you,please do not respond in anger
or hate.
Please.
How you treat people whodisagree with your biblical
principles will determine howmuch your kid listens to you.
(05:39):
Does your child see you lovingpeople and being kind to the
people you disagree with?
If you are standing true onbiblical principles and
defaulting to love, like Jesusdid, you will be modeling Jesus
well in your home.
But if you are demonizing,using slurs or wishing death on
(06:03):
another human being, using slursor wishing death on another
human being or wishing a wholegroup of people would go away,
check your heart.
That is not who Jesus was.
For this conversation.
If you are dealing with an olderkid and you and your teens
don't agree politically, I needyou to zoom out Because,
(06:28):
honestly, the conversation doesnot have to be political.
It can be broken down verysimple.
A man got murdered.
Is that okay?
Executing someone to silencethem is wrong.
Now your kid may say, well, buthe talked about X, y and Z and
(06:49):
I don't think that's right.
Okay, should he be murdered forit?
That is the question.
We can disagree, but not wishdeath or violence upon people.
Also, as you are talkingpolitics or anything
controversial, a good questionto ask your kid is this why does
(07:11):
the other side feel this way?
Like what does the other sidesay?
Right, and you want to look atthis side.
You want to look at this sideand then talk about, from a
biblical standpoint, okay, whatwould Jesus do?
Also, on these both sides, youhave to remember that there is
(07:31):
an extreme over here and there'san extreme over here, and
normally the extremes are whatis screaming the loudest.
So you need to.
You need to be able to havethese conversations with your
kids.
Listen, I don't want you tolose the voice in your kid's
life and I don't want you tolose your kid over politics.
(07:55):
We just released a show with aveteran police officer of 15
years.
He has three kids.
We recorded the show beforeCharlie Kirk happened, so it
didn't have anything to do withthis situation.
But at the end of the show hedescribes how he uses his
de-escalation training toresolve heated conversations in
(08:18):
his home and also when he'sresponding to police calls.
One of the things he said waskids already get a little
defensive because they recognizethe parent is the authority in
the home, right, and so, justlike when he shows up on a call
for a police officer, people arealready defensive because he's
(08:40):
the position of authority as apolice officer.
He said one, you got to justrecognize that.
But then two, he also sayssomething really great.
He said as you're getting on thescene of this thing and
emotions are high and there's aheated thing happening, a heated
conversation or a heatedargument happening, he said you
(09:01):
have to be a really goodlistener, listen to both sides,
understand what they're tryingto tell you.
And then he said hurt people,hurt people.
You guys, we're all hurtingright now.
Do I see extremists onlinegloating and it's evil?
Yes, but I know Republicans andDemocrats in my own life and
(09:26):
everybody's hurting right now.
We are just like what in theworld?
Don't let your overreactionspill onto your kid and hurt the
relationship, because you arehurt right now.
You cannot turn around and hurtyour child and say horrible
things to them if they do notbelieve the same thing as you
(09:48):
believe.
As you're talking aboutdifferent political parties in
your home, please reiteratepolitical parties change.
Yeah, you can talk about whateach party stands for today and
all of those talking pointsGreat.
But guess what?
In 10 years, the parties mayflip-flop.
The parties may believesomething else.
(10:09):
You know who does not changeGod.
Don't put your faith inpolitical parties.
God is the one who does notchange.
Everyone, no matter whatpolitical party you come from,
should denounce violence.
We should all have aconversation with our kids where
we say, even if I hate whatanother person believes, I would
(10:33):
never wish harm on thatindividual.
Can we all unite on this oneissue Violence is not the
solution.
Even if I don't agree witheverything a person says, I saw
a quote this weekend and it wasso wise, and here's what it said
(10:55):
Words are not violence,violence is violence.
I don't know who said it, butit's true.
And also, you have to remember,I don't agree a hundred percent
with anyone, not with Charlie,not Republicans, not Democrats.
Only Jesus is the one who Iagree with a hundred percent and
(11:17):
what I will surrender my lifeto as you navigate these
conversations in your home froma biblical perspective.
Instead of a political debate,I want to encourage you to watch
two sermons that I've watchedand I thought were really good
Josh Howerton at Lake PointChurch in Dallas.
(11:37):
Ed Newton at Community BibleChurch in San Antonio.
Both are excellent sources onhow do you talk to your kids
from a biblical perspective.
As we shift gears here to what Imentioned in the beginning of
the podcast, I wanted to talk toyou about kids being
(11:57):
radicalized online.
It has been reported that theshooter was a quote unquote
Reddit kid.
I do not know this family.
I, like you, have heard thatthe dad turned in his own son.
I cannot imagine the heartbreakof this mom and dad right now.
I think we all need to pray forthis family.
(12:18):
I also read this week that theEvergreen Colorado shooter was
radicalized online, and here'swhat I want to tell you about
kids going down a deep, darkpath online.
It could be any of our children.
When we give our kids onlineaccess, their world opens up and
(12:42):
they can be radicalized fast.
As a parent, you have no controlover who or what is influencing
them.
This is why Next Talk actuallyexists.
We focus on three things One,create a strategic plan on how
to parent tech in your home.
You cannot give too much toofast.
Two, build a healthyrelationship where no topic is
(13:08):
off limits.
We have to talk about everycultural trend or ideology that
our kids are seeing and hearingabout.
And three, we help parentsdefine a moral compass.
Now, for me, it's Jesus,obviously Christian, but we
serve a lot of families at NextTalk who are not Christian.
Right, it's your family, yourchoice on what the moral compass
(13:30):
needs to be in your home, butwe have to define it for them.
And I think this wholesituation is a perfect talking
point of okay, we may notbelieve in the Bible, but we do
believe murder is wrong.
Right, what determines rightand wrong in our world?
Kids need to know that.
As a Christian, it's easy forme because I just say biblical
(13:53):
truth.
We're going to look to God totell us what's right and wrong,
and I don't have to figure itout.
For those of you who don'tbelieve that, what is your moral
compass and how do you defineit for your child?
Let me give you an example ofhow Next Talk can keep a kid
from being radicalized.
Okay, so we have somethingcalled red flag reporting and we
(14:15):
say you need to implement thisthree up.
And if you don't know what thisis, it's go to our website.
You can go under free guidesand it's red flags.
There there's a section forChristian based or non-faith.
This guide it's completely free.
The red flag reporting.
What we want to do is create alist of things we want our kids
(14:39):
to tell us about.
Okay, it's just that simple,like if you hear this on the
playground, if you hear this onthe bus, if you see it on
roadblocks, these are the thingsI want to tell you.
And there's, there's a list.
There's all kinds of stuffstuff to catch pornography.
There's a phrase to catchsexuality in a way that it
doesn't overexpose athree-year-old right, and so one
(15:00):
of the things on this list isany word, phrase or idea you
don't know.
You need to be implementing thiswith your three, four and
five-year-olds.
You need to say if there isever a new word or an idea that
you're curious about, pleasedon't Google that, please don't
just let it be in your brain.
(15:21):
A red flag should go off tocome home and ask me right,
anytime, honey, that you're like.
Hmm, I wonder what that means.
Red flag alert go ask mom ordad.
If you do this, starting atthree, four and five, you're
going to have so many teachablemoments through the years.
(15:43):
You're going to have somethingpop up in a movie.
You're going to have somethingpop up at a neighbor's house and
they're going to bring it toyou because they hear a new word
or phrase or idea.
And then, when they do, you aregoing to avoid crazy parent
mode, not overreact but saythank you so much for telling me
(16:04):
.
This is how we are intentionalabout building open
communication through the years.
You're not going to laugh attheir question.
You're not going to laugh attheir question.
You're not going to freak out.
You're calmly going to explainwhat it means in age-appropriate
terms, but you're going topraise that kid every single
(16:24):
time.
Thank you so much for asking me.
As the kid gets older say it's ason, he's going to earn a phone
.
No social media at first.
You know our rule on that.
We commit to no screens inbedrooms or bathrooms until at
least age 17.
When you're preparing them tomove out of your home, you put
(16:46):
all this structure in place andthen they earn one social media
platform at a time as they startto report new things to you.
This happened in the bathroomtoday.
I need to talk to you.
Okay, thank you so much fortelling me.
We're going to talk about this.
Red flag reporting eventuallywill move into what we call
(17:07):
family packs, so we take the kidlanguage and then we just
create a reporting list.
So when you move into familypacks, you know you're going to
be saying the real words, likeyou're going to tell me about
pornography, you're going totell me about hate speech,
you're going to tell me when yousee somebody wanting to be
violent, that that is one ofthem on there.
(17:27):
Standard operating procedure,because they have been taught
since they were three years oldthat when I have a new word,
phrase or idea pop in my brain,I need to go talk to mom or dad.
Now, does it change over time?
Yes, as your kids get older,they may start to be able to
Google it on their own andresearch it and look into it.
(17:50):
But the more they do, the morethat habit is going to form of
you know what?
I probably need to talk to momor dad about this.
Let me take my research to them.
Let me see what they thinkabout it as they get more
exposure to the world.
Listen, they're experiencingsmall doses of culture Every
(18:10):
time your kid hears somethingnew and then he's able to come
talk to you about it.
You're building a safe place.
Through the years, your kid maystumble along the way.
Your kid may get into onlinegambling or porn or whatever it
(18:31):
is, and they confide in youbecause they're used to being
able to talk to you.
Guess what that's when thatdefault to love is so important.
No shame, I'm so proud of youfor telling me.
I'm so sorry you're strugglingwith this.
We're going to walk hand inhand together with it.
Tell your kids trust me morethan people online right.
(18:54):
Trust people in real life thathave poured into your life more
than online voices.
This catches so muchradicalization if you can drill
this into their brain from threeand four and five years old In
the still small corner of theinternet, when your kid is
exposed to violence or murder orglorifying killing people.
(19:19):
If you have done this andpractice this intentional, open
communication from three yearsold, do you think your kid may
confide in you?
He's had that reporting list onyour fridge since he was three
and he comes and tells you thesethings as they pop in his brain
.
We have got to create this kindof open communication in our
(19:45):
home.
Keeping your kid from beingradicalized online starts years
before you actually give themany online access.
Here's why I get so frustratedwith general messaging of just
don't give your kids socialmedia till you're 16.
I can get on board with that.
If we say these things you canonly have social media until
(20:10):
you're 16 and you do this, thisand this because you're proving
to me that you're ready for this.
What is that proving to me thatyou're ready for this?
Confiding in you reportingthings to you, all the things
that start with the red flagreporting at three years old?
It's the only reason our kidsshould be earning more tech
(20:33):
access.
They should never get socialmedia if you have not been
working with them for years onbuilding open communication.
Sometimes these generalmessages of just wait until your
kid is 16, it's like you justwait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
just hold out, don't fall intopeer pressure.
And then 16, it's afree-for-all and they get six
(20:54):
social media apps.
Guess what?
They're going to be radicalizedonline fast, even though you
waited until 16, because youhave not been preparing the
relationship for years for themto get online and be safe.
Listen to me Every conversationyou have with your kids, from
(21:15):
three on up, on building opencommunication in your home, it
is either going to build up ortear down your relationship.
And if your kid confides in youand you post that all over
Facebook, you have lost them.
They are not going to talk toyou.
It is scary to raise kids inthis world, and I get it.
When they are little, weprotect them.
(21:36):
We can shield them, safeguard,shelter them.
It's easier as they grow.
You have to move from protectto prepare.
What I mean by that is youprotect your kids from the world
and then, as they get exposedto it, you have to prepare your
(21:57):
kids to live in it.
I almost miss this In my 21years of being a mom.
I almost miss this because Iwanted to protect, protect,
protect, and then I would nothave conversations because I
didn't want to expose them toanything and I missed so many
(22:17):
opportunities because I wasbeing a helicopter mom.
Move from protect to prepareand I want you to shift your
mind to think.
Prepare means build the safeplace, create open communication
.
Put those reporting guidelines,that list, in place.
(22:39):
If you don't like our red flag,create your own list of things
you want your child to tell you,and then practice for years
building them coming to you,confiding you what they've seen,
you not overreacting, and thisbeautiful relationship forms.
This is how we keep our kidssafe in an overexposed,
(23:05):
radicalized culture.
Rules and restrictions are goodculture.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Rules and restrictions are good, but it's
really about the relationship.
Next Talk is a 501c3 nonprofitkeeping kids safe online.
To support our work, make adonation at nexttalkorg.
Next Talk resources are notintended to replace the advice
of a trained healthcare or legalprofessional, or to diagnose,
treat or otherwise render expertadvice regarding any type of
medical, psychological, legal,financial or other problem.
You are advised to consult aqualified expert for your
(23:36):
personal treatment plan.
Welcome to the Next Talk podcast.
We are a nonprofit passionateabout keeping kids safe online.
We're learning together how tonavigate tech, culture and faith
with our kids.
How do we talk to our kidsabout Charlie Kirk?
I've been posting a few thingsover on social media.
My first post was about talkingto your kids about the video of
(00:26):
his death, and I have a lot oftalking points over there.
You can go read that.
But my main point is this Ourkids are so desensitized.
We all witnessed a man beingexecuted and then right after
that, we may have seen abasketball reel or a funny reel.
Our brains are not meant to gofrom seeing a human life taken
(00:52):
and then shift so easily toanother tab being open in our
brain about something that issimple.
This is a whole new world.
We should try to stop andprocess and grieve the taking of
a life Again.
There's more talking pointsover there on our social media.
(01:12):
Maybe it's the desensitizationconversation.
Maybe it's your kid is askingwhy did God allow this to happen
?
We have some bullet points overthere that you can go look at.
But then I also did another postabout the possibility that the
shooter was radicalized online.
We see this a lot with massshootings and I want to talk
(01:36):
about this a little more.
But first, before I dive intothat radicalization, I did get
some messages asking why so muchoutrage over Charlie Kirk?
Like, why didn't you cover theschool shooting that happened
that very week?
And I kind of have one answerto this because that school
(01:57):
shooting wasn't being celebrated.
There's a massive difference intragedy happening all over our
nation to horrible thingspeople's lives being taken.
It's horrible, but it's a wholeother level when we have people
quite a few in mass celebratingthe death, and I think that is
(02:24):
a whole new issue that we'redealing with.
Humanity has fallen.
The moral decay is more than Ieven imagined and we should all
be alarmed.
Also, you know, charlie was aChristian.
He proclaimed the gospel, andso for me he proclaimed the
(02:44):
gospel, and so for me it doestrigger something in me.
I see pastors stand up onstages all the time every
weekend in front of crowds theydon't know.
We cannot live in a countrywhere pastors are afraid of
being shot for teaching theBible.
This is a moment in time whenall of us should pause and say
(03:06):
what just happened here.
As for politics, I've had somepeople ask me political
questions in the DMs and here'swhat I'm going to say publicly.
I think both parties areabsolutely flawed.
They evolve, they change.
(03:26):
Our true, only hope is in Jesus.
Now I know in your home you'reprobably going to need to get
into the details of politicswith your kids.
I want you to do that.
If your kids are small andyoung, this is a little easier.
I'm just going to be honestbecause you're going to share
(03:48):
your political opinion andthey'll probably agree and say
okay.
But as your kid gets older andthey're exposed to more thoughts
online, your kid may askquestions or challenge your
opinion.
Please be careful with how yourespond to your child.
You cannot go off on your childfor speaking a different
(04:11):
political opinion in your home.
Please, your kid is moreimportant than your candidate.
Your kid is more important thanyour political stance.
We say avoid crazy parent modea lot around here.
(04:32):
It is a Next Talk core practice.
This is why when we overreactor don't have a good response,
it shuts down all communication.
Have a good response, it shutsdown all communication.
Then, parents, you lose thevoice in your child's life.
Some of them go no contactbecause of political differences
(04:54):
.
Christian parents listen.
I want to speak directly to youhere for a moment, because
we're honestly terrible at this.
I am terrible at this.
I have been terrible at this.
I'm a work in progress becausewe have strong biblical
principles that we live by andwe have conviction about them.
(05:17):
We feel called to uphold themin our world and through
politics.
I get it in our world andthrough politics.
I get it.
But if your kid questions you,please do not respond in anger
or hate.
Please.
How you treat people whodisagree with your biblical
principles will determine howmuch your kid listens to you.
(05:39):
Does your child see you lovingpeople and being kind to the
people you disagree with?
If you are standing true onbiblical principles and
defaulting to love, like Jesusdid, you will be modeling Jesus
well in your home.
But if you are demonizing,using slurs or wishing death on
(06:03):
another human being, using slursor wishing death on another
human being or wishing a wholegroup of people would go away,
check your heart.
That is not who Jesus was.
For this conversation.
If you are dealing with an olderkid and you and your teens
don't agree politically, I needyou to zoom out Because,
(06:28):
honestly, the conversation doesnot have to be political.
It can be broken down verysimple.
A man got murdered.
Is that okay?
Executing someone to silencethem is wrong.
Now your kid may say, well, buthe talked about X, y and Z and
(06:49):
I don't think that's right.
Okay, should he be murdered forit?
That is the question.
We can disagree, but not wishdeath or violence upon people.
Also, as you are talkingpolitics or anything
controversial, a good questionto ask your kid is this why does
(07:11):
the other side feel this way?
Like what does the other sidesay?
Right, and you want to look atthis side.
You want to look at this sideand then talk about, from a
biblical standpoint, okay, whatwould Jesus do?
Also, on these both sides, youhave to remember that there is
(07:31):
an extreme over here and there'san extreme over here, and
normally the extremes are whatis screaming the loudest.
So you need to.
You need to be able to havethese conversations with your
kids.
Listen, I don't want you tolose the voice in your kid's
life and I don't want you tolose your kid over politics.
(07:55):
We just released a show with aveteran police officer of 15
years.
He has three kids.
We recorded the show beforeCharlie Kirk happened, so it
didn't have anything to do withthis situation.
But at the end of the show hedescribes how he uses his
de-escalation training toresolve heated conversations in
(08:18):
his home and also when he'sresponding to police calls.
One of the things he said waskids already get a little
defensive because they recognizethe parent is the authority in
the home, right, and so, justlike when he shows up on a call
for a police officer, people arealready defensive because he's
(08:40):
the position of authority as apolice officer.
He said one, you got to justrecognize that.
But then two, he also sayssomething really great.
He said as you're getting on thescene of this thing and
emotions are high and there's aheated thing happening, a heated
conversation or a heatedargument happening, he said you
(09:01):
have to be a really goodlistener, listen to both sides,
understand what they're tryingto tell you.
And then he said hurt people,hurt people.
You guys, we're all hurtingright now.
Do I see extremists onlinegloating and it's evil?
Yes, but I know Republicans andDemocrats in my own life and
(09:26):
everybody's hurting right now.
We are just like what in theworld?
Don't let your overreactionspill onto your kid and hurt the
relationship, because you arehurt right now.
You cannot turn around and hurtyour child and say horrible
things to them if they do notbelieve the same thing as you
(09:48):
believe.
As you're talking aboutdifferent political parties in
your home, please reiteratepolitical parties change.
Yeah, you can talk about whateach party stands for today and
all of those talking pointsGreat.
But guess what?
In 10 years, the parties mayflip-flop.
The parties may believesomething else.
(10:09):
You know who does not changeGod.
Don't put your faith inpolitical parties.
God is the one who does notchange.
Everyone, no matter whatpolitical party you come from,
should denounce violence.
We should all have aconversation with our kids where
we say, even if I hate whatanother person believes, I would
(10:33):
never wish harm on thatindividual.
Can we all unite on this oneissue Violence is not the
solution.
Even if I don't agree witheverything a person says, I saw
a quote this weekend and it wasso wise, and here's what it said
(10:55):
Words are not violence,violence is violence.
I don't know who said it, butit's true.
And also, you have to remember,I don't agree a hundred percent
with anyone, not with Charlie,not Republicans, not Democrats.
Only Jesus is the one who Iagree with a hundred percent and
(11:17):
what I will surrender my lifeto as you navigate these
conversations in your home froma biblical perspective.
Instead of a political debate,I want to encourage you to watch
two sermons that I've watchedand I thought were really good
Josh Howerton at Lake PointChurch in Dallas.
(11:37):
Ed Newton at Community BibleChurch in San Antonio.
Both are excellent sources onhow do you talk to your kids
from a biblical perspective.
As we shift gears here to what Imentioned in the beginning of
the podcast, I wanted to talk toyou about kids being
(11:57):
radicalized online.
It has been reported that theshooter was a quote unquote
Reddit kid.
I do not know this family.
I, like you, have heard thatthe dad turned in his own son.
I cannot imagine the heartbreakof this mom and dad right now.
I think we all need to pray forthis family.
(12:18):
I also read this week that theEvergreen Colorado shooter was
radicalized online, and here'swhat I want to tell you about
kids going down a deep, darkpath online.
It could be any of our children.
When we give our kids onlineaccess, their world opens up and
(12:42):
they can be radicalized fast.
As a parent, you have no controlover who or what is influencing
them.
This is why Next Talk actuallyexists.
We focus on three things One,create a strategic plan on how
to parent tech in your home.
You cannot give too much toofast.
Two, build a healthyrelationship where no topic is
(13:08):
off limits.
We have to talk about everycultural trend or ideology that
our kids are seeing and hearingabout.
And three, we help parentsdefine a moral compass.
Now, for me, it's Jesus,obviously Christian, but we
serve a lot of families at NextTalk who are not Christian.
Right, it's your family, yourchoice on what the moral compass
(13:30):
needs to be in your home, butwe have to define it for them.
And I think this wholesituation is a perfect talking
point of okay, we may notbelieve in the Bible, but we do
believe murder is wrong.
Right, what determines rightand wrong in our world?
Kids need to know that.
As a Christian, it's easy forme because I just say biblical
(13:53):
truth.
We're going to look to God totell us what's right and wrong,
and I don't have to figure itout.
For those of you who don'tbelieve that, what is your moral
compass and how do you defineit for your child?
Let me give you an example ofhow Next Talk can keep a kid
from being radicalized.
Okay, so we have somethingcalled red flag reporting and we
(14:15):
say you need to implement thisthree up.
And if you don't know what thisis, it's go to our website.
You can go under free guidesand it's red flags.
There there's a section forChristian based or non-faith.
This guide it's completely free.
The red flag reporting.
What we want to do is create alist of things we want our kids
(14:39):
to tell us about.
Okay, it's just that simple,like if you hear this on the
playground, if you hear this onthe bus, if you see it on
roadblocks, these are the thingsI want to tell you.
And there's, there's a list.
There's all kinds of stuffstuff to catch pornography.
There's a phrase to catchsexuality in a way that it
doesn't overexpose athree-year-old right, and so one
(15:00):
of the things on this list isany word, phrase or idea you
don't know.
You need to be implementing thiswith your three, four and
five-year-olds.
You need to say if there isever a new word or an idea that
you're curious about, pleasedon't Google that, please don't
just let it be in your brain.
(15:21):
A red flag should go off tocome home and ask me right,
anytime, honey, that you're like.
Hmm, I wonder what that means.
Red flag alert go ask mom ordad.
If you do this, starting atthree, four and five, you're
going to have so many teachablemoments through the years.
(15:43):
You're going to have somethingpop up in a movie.
You're going to have somethingpop up at a neighbor's house and
they're going to bring it toyou because they hear a new word
or phrase or idea.
And then, when they do, you aregoing to avoid crazy parent
mode, not overreact but saythank you so much for telling me
(16:04):
.
This is how we are intentionalabout building open
communication through the years.
You're not going to laugh attheir question.
You're not going to laugh attheir question.
You're not going to freak out.
You're calmly going to explainwhat it means in age-appropriate
terms, but you're going topraise that kid every single
(16:24):
time.
Thank you so much for asking me.
As the kid gets older say it's ason, he's going to earn a phone
.
No social media at first.
You know our rule on that.
We commit to no screens inbedrooms or bathrooms until at
least age 17.
When you're preparing them tomove out of your home, you put
(16:46):
all this structure in place andthen they earn one social media
platform at a time as they startto report new things to you.
This happened in the bathroomtoday.
I need to talk to you.
Okay, thank you so much fortelling me.
We're going to talk about this.
Red flag reporting eventuallywill move into what we call
(17:07):
family packs, so we take the kidlanguage and then we just
create a reporting list.
So when you move into familypacks, you know you're going to
be saying the real words, likeyou're going to tell me about
pornography, you're going totell me about hate speech,
you're going to tell me when yousee somebody wanting to be
violent, that that is one ofthem on there.
(17:27):
Standard operating procedure,because they have been taught
since they were three years oldthat when I have a new word,
phrase or idea pop in my brain,I need to go talk to mom or dad.
Now, does it change over time?
Yes, as your kids get older,they may start to be able to
Google it on their own andresearch it and look into it.
(17:50):
But the more they do, the morethat habit is going to form of
you know what?
I probably need to talk to momor dad about this.
Let me take my research to them.
Let me see what they thinkabout it as they get more
exposure to the world.
Listen, they're experiencingsmall doses of culture Every
(18:10):
time your kid hears somethingnew and then he's able to come
talk to you about it.
You're building a safe place.
Through the years, your kid maystumble along the way.
Your kid may get into onlinegambling or porn or whatever it
(18:31):
is, and they confide in youbecause they're used to being
able to talk to you.
Guess what that's when thatdefault to love is so important.
No shame, I'm so proud of youfor telling me.
I'm so sorry you're strugglingwith this.
We're going to walk hand inhand together with it.
Tell your kids trust me morethan people online right.
(18:54):
Trust people in real life thathave poured into your life more
than online voices.
This catches so muchradicalization if you can drill
this into their brain from threeand four and five years old In
the still small corner of theinternet, when your kid is
exposed to violence or murder orglorifying killing people.
(19:19):
If you have done this andpractice this intentional, open
communication from three yearsold, do you think your kid may
confide in you?
He's had that reporting list onyour fridge since he was three
and he comes and tells you thesethings as they pop in his brain
.
We have got to create this kindof open communication in our
(19:45):
home.
Keeping your kid from beingradicalized online starts years
before you actually give themany online access.
Here's why I get so frustratedwith general messaging of just
don't give your kids socialmedia till you're 16.
I can get on board with that.
If we say these things you canonly have social media until
(20:10):
you're 16 and you do this, thisand this because you're proving
to me that you're ready for this.
What is that proving to me thatyou're ready for this?
Confiding in you reportingthings to you, all the things
that start with the red flagreporting at three years old?
It's the only reason our kidsshould be earning more tech
(20:33):
access.
They should never get socialmedia if you have not been
working with them for years onbuilding open communication.
Sometimes these generalmessages of just wait until your
kid is 16, it's like you justwait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
just hold out, don't fall intopeer pressure.
And then 16, it's afree-for-all and they get six
(20:54):
social media apps.
Guess what?
They're going to be radicalizedonline fast, even though you
waited until 16, because youhave not been preparing the
relationship for years for themto get online and be safe.
Listen to me Every conversationyou have with your kids, from
(21:15):
three on up, on building opencommunication in your home, it
is either going to build up ortear down your relationship.
And if your kid confides in youand you post that all over
Facebook, you have lost them.
They are not going to talk toyou.
It is scary to raise kids inthis world, and I get it.
When they are little, weprotect them.
(21:36):
We can shield them, safeguard,shelter them.
It's easier as they grow.
You have to move from protectto prepare.
What I mean by that is youprotect your kids from the world
and then, as they get exposedto it, you have to prepare your
(21:57):
kids to live in it.
I almost miss this In my 21years of being a mom.
I almost miss this because Iwanted to protect, protect,
protect, and then I would nothave conversations because I
didn't want to expose them toanything and I missed so many
(22:17):
opportunities because I wasbeing a helicopter mom.
Move from protect to prepareand I want you to shift your
mind to think.
Prepare means build the safeplace, create open communication
.
Put those reporting guidelines,that list, in place.
(22:39):
If you don't like our red flag,create your own list of things
you want your child to tell you,and then practice for years
building them coming to you,confiding you what they've seen,
you not overreacting, and thisbeautiful relationship forms.
This is how we keep our kidssafe in an overexposed,
(23:05):
radicalized culture.
Rules and restrictions are goodculture.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Rules and restrictions are good, but it's
really about the relationship.
Next Talk is a 501c3 nonprofitkeeping kids safe online.
To support our work, make adonation at nexttalkorg.
Next Talk resources are notintended to replace the advice
of a trained healthcare or legalprofessional, or to diagnose,
treat or otherwise render expertadvice regarding any type of
medical, psychological, legal,financial or other problem.
You are advised to consult aqualified expert for your
(23:36):
personal treatment plan.
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