December 16, 2025 • 24 mins
How did we move from panic to peace when raising kids in a digital world? We share stories of moving from sleepless nights to steady confidence as we discuss the practical plan where the surprising payoff was immediate—less anxiety while scrolling, more teachable moments, and a home filled with a daily rhythm of open conversations.
KEEPING KIDS SAFE ONLINE
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Welcome to the Next Talk Podcast.
We are a nonprofit passionateabout keeping kids safe online.
We're learning together how tonavigate tech, culture, and
faith with our kids.
Face your fears.
Do not allow fear to take over.
Parenting in the digital worldis scary.
(00:23):
It's overwhelming.
You scroll through social mediaand all you see are these online
dangers.
Be careful about that.
Watch for this.
All of that is good.
It's raising awareness.
Of course, we want to shareinformation about how our kids
are being attacked online.
(00:44):
But at Next Talk, we don't justwant to create panic.
We want to give you a plan.
That's why our organization isso important.
Our plan is called the Next Talk10.
It's best practices to keep yourkids safe online.
And today I'm talking about oneof those principles.
(01:06):
Face your fears.
When I first started realizinghow the digital world was
changing the way my kids aregrowing up, I was overwhelmed.
I was afraid.
I was frozen in fear, quiteactually.
And that's where Satan wantedme.
(01:26):
I didn't want to talk about it.
I didn't want to acknowledge it.
I was sweeping it under the rug.
I also got bitter.
I got mad.
I mean, our kids' innocence isbeing stolen.
Like for many of us, we're doingall the right things.
We're not giving devices.
You know, if we are, we're we'rerolling it out in a practical
(01:48):
step-by-step way.
And our kids are still gettingexposed to stuff through
conversations at school, throughconversations on the bus.
It's infuriating.
You can do all the right thingsas a parent, but your kid is
still growing up in a brokenworld.
When this all first startedhappening in our family more
(02:10):
than a decade ago, my husbandand I would vent to each other.
Like, why in the world doeseverything have to be so
sexualized?
Why can't kids just be kids?
Everywhere we turned, theirinnocence was being stolen.
Those were real feelings that Ihad to process in the beginning.
The fear, the anxiety, thebitterness, the anger, just
(02:35):
being overwhelmed with it all.
Realizing how the world wasdifferent because of technology.
Honestly, you just have toaccept the fact that your kids
are growing up in a differentworld than we grew up in.
And that is, even if you chooseto limit or not give technology,
(02:55):
the world has changed.
My husband and my best friendreally helped me process those
emotions.
So I would not be frozen infear.
And they helped me understandthe shift that was happening in
culture because of technology.
But also, my faith gave me afoundation that kept me stable
(03:18):
in the middle of the chaos.
It reminds me of the biblicalstory when the disciples are in
the boat and there's a stormhappening.
And everywhere around them, it'sjust complete chaos.
They're all afraid, right?
I love what Jesus says inMatthew 14, 27.
(03:40):
Jesus says to the disciples,they're in the boat.
It's being rocked by the wavesand the thunder and the
lightning and the storm, andthey're so afraid.
And Jesus says, Don't be afraid.
Take courage.
I am here.
How powerful is that?
I can't tell you how many nightsI woke up in the middle of the
(04:03):
night, you know, at 2 a.m.
just stressed about how am Igoing to parent this world?
What am I going to do?
How do I respond to this adulttopic that my nine-year-old is
asking?
I just felt like I was in themiddle of a storm.
And God kept telling me, Mandy,take courage.
(04:23):
I am here.
This doesn't take me bysurprise.
I created you for this moment,for this child.
I handpicked you to be themother of these children.
I have you.
Don't take your eyes off of me.
I'm not going to let you drown.
I'm not going to let you getswallowed up in the waves of
(04:46):
this storm.
And I cannot tell you how muchpeace that gave me throughout
all of it.
Because that biblical foundationkept me stable in the middle of
it all.
That got me seeking the Lord formore and more, right?
I got in the Bible like neverbefore when my kids first
(05:08):
started getting exposed tostuff.
And I literally was thinking,honestly, some of their
questions were like, like Ididn't even know why I believed
what I believed.
Like, where is it in the Bible?
And why do I have that corevalue?
Right.
And so I just dug into the Bibleand I'm searching for the
answer.
Like, how do we keep our kidssafe online?
Lord, please show me the answer.
(05:29):
And in all of his graciousness,he led me to Deuteronomy 6, 6,
and 7 one day.
I was on my back porch, justlike a normal day reading
scripture.
And this is what it says Teachyour kids these commands I'm
giving you.
Talk.
When you're at home, when you'reon the go, when you're getting
(05:50):
up and going to bed.
Four key times to talk with ourkids.
The Lord is commanding us tocreate a culture of open
communication in our home whereno topic is off limits.
Our God wants us to have ahealthy dialogue between us and
our children where they canconfide in us and feel safe with
(06:14):
us.
This is literally biblical, andit is the solution to keeping
our kids safe online.
And as I found this and Iimplemented it in my home, these
10 core practices began toemerge, which is what we've
packaged up now and we call theNext Talk 10.
It is your plan to keep yourkids safe in such an overexposed
(06:37):
world.
So my whole focus was now onbuilding the relationship with
my kids.
I was spending less time nowresearching Wi-Fi routers and
more time pouring into therelationship with my child.
I referred to it as old Mandyand New Mandy, and I made an
immediate shift in my home inhow I was interacting and
(06:58):
responding with my childrenabout all things, but especially
about their online world andthings they were being exposed
to at school.
And you guys, as I started tomake this shift, I saw something
happening.
I went from old Mandy who hadtrouble sleeping.
I didn't want my kids to go tosleepovers or or do play dates
(07:18):
at anybody's houses because Iwas so afraid about what they
were getting exposed to becauseit was so much.
And I went from that, like lotsof anxiety, fear, being
overwhelmed, to this is whatstarted happening.
I would see these shifts in mykids because of how I was
changing how I was responding.
(07:39):
What was really cool as Istarted to implement Deuteronomy
6, 6, and 7 in our home.
And I started shifting theculture.
And my whole purpose, like everymorning when I woke up, my first
prayer was Lord, don't let memiss the teachable moments.
Don't let me miss theirquestions.
(08:00):
If they ask me something and Idon't know how to answer it,
give me wisdom.
Give me the words to say in themoment.
Help me build the relationshipwith my kids, right?
That is my sole purpose in lifeduring this phase because of how
much they were getting exposedto when they were little, even
when they didn't have phones.
(08:21):
And you guys, with thatmentality and being intentional
on what God asked me to do, thecoolest thing happened.
So I would pick my kids up fromschool, and what started
happening was my daughter, nineyears old at the time, would
start pulling me in the bedroomand she'd say, Mom, I heard this
(08:45):
today.
This person said this.
Like, I don't know what any ofthis means.
So then we would talk about it.
Through this process, I hadtaught her that if she heard
something new and she didn'tknow what it meant, I wanted a
red flag alert to go off in herbrain to come home and ask me.
So she was doing that.
I was learning not to overreactand go crazy.
And so we were building thisculture.
(09:08):
And so she would, she would talkto me about these things and
also she would protect the heartand mind of her younger baby
brother, right?
She wouldn't ask it in the carbecause through our
conversations, I was like,you're a little older, you know,
you and I can have ourone-on-one talk time and you can
ask me what you're hearing aboutyour friends at the lunch table,
(09:28):
what your peers are talkingabout on the playground.
Like we can just talk aboutthat.
But but let's not do it in frontof brother because we have a
duty to protect his heart andmind.
And you guys, the more that thatworked, like she would come home
and ask me, and they were bigtopics, like adult topics, like
stuff I didn't even know existeduntil I was college age, right?
(09:49):
Big stuff.
As she did that, I realized Iwas getting able to speak into
it.
And she was not listening to herfriends or the world.
And that took me from fear andanxiety to peace.
And I was empowered to keepdoing more of it because I saw
(10:14):
the benefits of it right away.
And that is my hope for you.
As you journey along andimplement these next top 10 into
your home, each one of thesethat we dive into, I pray that
you'll implement the practicalsuggestion and you'll see the
shift.
And once you see it happening,that's going to empower you to
(10:36):
keep going.
Because it's not easy.
I mean, it did take away thefear of I wasn't afraid that my
kids were going to be exposed tostuff and I didn't know it
anymore.
I didn't have a fear of thatanymore because I saw the
Deuteronomy 6, 6, and 7, thesolution of open communication.
I saw it working in my home.
That was really not the fearanymore.
(10:56):
Because they were, they startedto come home and ask me.
It was working.
Like the Lord knew what he wasdoing.
And that made me feel empowered.
I was sleeping better, lessanxiety.
When I was scrolling on socialand I would see a post about an
online danger, I wouldn't go topanic.
I would just be like, oh, thisthing that I'm doing in my home,
(11:18):
that's going to protect themfrom that.
Or we're going to have aconversation about this now
because I've had all these otherconversations and now I'm ready
for this one.
So it prepared me.
So that is what was so coolabout the motivation of seeing
this work in my home.
I saw it catch stuff thatfilters wouldn't catch, you
(11:38):
know, like our parental controlson a phone.
Like if your kid has aconversation at a neighbor's
house with a friend wherethey're searching for something
or they're talking aboutsomething inappropriate, your
filter on your home computersare not going to catch that.
The only way you're going toknow what happens at that
neighbor's house is if your kidis talking to you.
Right?
And so, I mean, same thing onthe playground, same thing at
(12:01):
youth group.
If your kid is not talking toyou, you're not going to know
what they're being exposed to.
So this is a way that you'relearning what they're learning
and then you're speaking intoit.
And what's cool about this toois, you know, when they started
asking me all these bigquestions and I had to dive into
scripture to be like, what do webelieve in?
Why do we believe it?
(12:22):
The cool thing was, is like Godreally did give me wisdom on how
to respond.
And I didn't need to know itall.
You know, there were some timeswhen I said, well, I don't know,
but let's go to God.
So we can dive into the Biblefor answers together.
Then we were like tackling theoverexposure and the culture
together instead of them tryingto figure it out on their own
(12:43):
and me not giving any inputwhatsoever.
And I have the responsibility topoint them to Jesus.
And I can, if they're opening upto me and talking to me and
confiding in me about whatthey're seeing and hearing.
Now, I will tell you onedownside to open communication.
You're gonna know some things.
(13:03):
Sometimes that's overwhelming.
It truly is overwhelming to knowall that they're caring.
And there are moments where Ihave cried with my husband about
that.
You know, like I just can'tbelieve that their friends are
dealing with this or that theirfriends are making these
choices.
But anytime that that wouldupset me, my husband would
(13:26):
always remind me if they weren'ttelling us, they would be
carrying this all alone.
Our child would be carrying thisall by themselves.
So we are taking the burden offby creating the open
communication in our home.
And that also helps against thefear of what are they gonna ask?
(13:48):
Or what are they gonna confidein me?
And am I gonna have the rightanswer?
You know, all of that is fearfultoo.
But this is where you have totrust God and you have to have
faith because it works.
This is the solution to keep ourkids safe.
But we cannot get frozen infear.
Oftentimes, what happened to meis your kid gets exposed, you
(14:12):
get mad because their innocenceis stolen, and then you just are
paralyzed in fear.
You're sweeping it under the rugbecause you don't know how to
address it.
You don't know how to have theconversation with your kid.
This is what Satan wants.
We have to rise above that,okay?
Process those feelings of fear,process it.
(14:32):
They are real.
Process those feelings of beingmad.
They are real, but we have tomove past it if we are going to
fight for our kids in thisculture.
So don't get frozen in fear.
Process those emotions with yourspouse andor a friend.
Pray, pray, and pray.
(14:54):
If the Lord wakes you up at 2a.m.
and you are anxious, pray aboutit.
Read the word of God.
That will give you the peace.
That will give you the wisdomyou need.
Remember Isaiah 41, 10.
Man, as a parent, I have prayedthis over myself and my family
(15:16):
and my kids so many times.
This is what that verse says.
Don't be afraid, for I am withyou.
Do not be discouraged, for I amyour God.
I will strengthen you and helpyou.
This is the creator of theworld, the Alpha, the Omega.
(15:36):
He knows more than we do.
And he is saying to us, don't beafraid.
I am going to strengthen you andI am going to help you.
This is the same kind oflanguage he used with the
disciples in that storm.
Have courage, don't be afraid.
I am here.
I am with you.
(15:57):
You don't have to be afraid.
Whatever technology wave comesnext, you know, right now we're
getting hit with a whole new setof problems with AI.
I don't know what it's going tobe in five years, but I do know
this.
It doesn't take God by surprise.
And the solution of creating ahealthy dialogue with your kid
will keep your child safe.
(16:20):
But we have to get out of ourfear and move.
We have to be obedient.
We have to dig in.
We have to have the toughconversations.
We have to trust our Lord thatHe's going to give us wisdom.
That is what obedience lookslike.
That is what courage is.
Do not let Satan win here and donot let Satan fill your mind
(16:42):
with anxiety and fear aboutparenting in the digital world.
Also, as we're talking aboutfears, I want to say this.
The conversation that you don'twant to have is the conversation
you must have.
If your kids come home and theyask you what sex is and you're
dreading that conversation,that's the conversation you need
(17:05):
to have.
And that goes for your spouse,your kids, anyone.
The conversation you don't wantto have is the one that you must
have.
Quit sweeping things under therug.
Have a healthy dialogue.
This is a key to a healthy home.
But Satan is setting up a systemwhere kids are being exposed to
(17:30):
porn.
They can't tell their parents.
They're living in shame becauseof all the porn that they're
watching.
Their mental health is beingaffected.
They're acting out or touchingothers because of all the porn
that they're watching.
Do you see what Satan is doingwith our children because they
can't confide in us?
It is our job, parents.
(17:52):
I know it's scary.
I know it's fearful, but we haveto move out of that fear and
build a healthy dialogue withour kids.
Our kids' life is at is at stakehere.
The world that we're living atis at stake.
We have to rise up and hold theline in this moment to protect
our children.
One other thing that I want tospeak into because when I was
(18:14):
sold on the idea of creatingopen communication, I don't want
to just be flippant and say allthe fear drifted away, right?
It it didn't.
It was a process of me seeing itwork and being empowered.
But one of the things is my kidsstarted talking to me more and
asking me things, I was soafraid of the question.
(18:35):
But did you do that?
Whether it be sex, alcohol,whatever it be, we're talking
about it, right?
And my biggest fear was how do Ianswer when my kid says, Did you
do that?
Because you guys, I was a wreckas a teenager.
I was a wreck.
I'm so glad that there weren'tphones when I grew up because I
(19:01):
made so many bad choices as ateenager.
And you know what?
The cool thing was as I prayedabout that free fear, my kids
asking me that, he showed me howto do it.
So for my home, you know, what Idid was early on, I would say
things to my kids like, Well,you know, mom, mom made a lot of
(19:24):
bad decisions as a teen.
I really wish I would have couldgo back and do things
differently.
Like it was a really hard timein my life.
Actually, looking back, it'sprobably the darkest years of my
life or my teenage years.
And I would just say blanketstatements like that as they
were growing up.
And then as my kids were olderand it was the right time, if
(19:44):
they asked me a specificquestion, that is when I felt
compelled to give them a littlebit more detail.
Not a lot, but letting them knowthat there were lots of things
that I wish I could go back andchange about my teenage years.
And as a parent, I'm trying toteach them, show them a better
(20:06):
way, you know, because likethings like sex, like God
doesn't put that rule in placebecause he hates us.
He knows what's best.
He wants to protect us.
When you start getting to thatlevel of conversations with your
kids, what's really cool is thatthe character of God is
highlighted.
(20:27):
And what I mean by that is, youknow, the world tells kids,
everyone, that sin is fun andsin is, you know, God is just a
God of rules and he doesn't wantyou to have fun and restrictions
and all that, right?
But when you actually look at itfrom the point of view of your
life, I know for me, the darkestof my days were when I was not
(20:54):
living under God's provision.
Like I was doing whatever Mandywanted to do.
That was when my mental healthwas the worst.
That was when like I had nopurpose.
That's when I cried a lot.
I was doing a lot ofself-destructive behaviors.
And now that I'm under God'sprovision and I've submitted to
it and I've said, Lord, you knowbest, I'm gonna follow all of
(21:17):
your ways and I'm gonna followyour guidelines and the word.
This is the healthiest I've everbeen mentally, right?
Like we have those stories totell our children.
And when we tell them thosestories, they realize God's
character, that He's not tryingto be mean.
He loves us, He wants to protectus.
(21:38):
That does so much for our kids'faith, their development of
their faith, the relationshipbetween the kid and Jesus.
You know, that that still quietmoment when that kid could
choose whatever that kid wantsto choose, but they're gonna
listen to God.
They're gonna listen to the HolySpirit in them more than their
(21:58):
feelings or more than what theworld is saying is, oh, that's
no big deal, right?
That's what we want to push themtowards.
And when we can unlock thatlevel of communication in our
home, you guys, I'm telling you,the fear will fade away.
The Lord will take away the fearbecause you see the Lord's
(22:21):
commands and his Bible comealive in your home and keeping
your kids safe.
Like, like for me personally,even, my faith has been
developed in a way just seeingGod's wisdom overtake our home
and make these small shifts inour relationship and how we
communicate about things.
(22:43):
God knows what he's doing.
I know this world is crazy.
I know parenting in a digitalworld is overwhelming.
But I hope you are encouragedtoday, process that fear, face
it, and then conquer it.
Move on.
Because on the other side offear is communication and beauty
(23:08):
and character of God and faithbuilding, like you would never
know.
Deuteronomy 23:5 says, God turnsthe intended curse into a
blessing because He loves you.
Never in a million years did Ithink my child being exposed to
pornography in the fourth gradewithout a phone would be a
(23:30):
blessing in my life.
I was mad.
I was just gut punched, sobitter and so afraid about the
world my children were growingup in.
But God has taken that cursethat Satan threw at us, that
exposure, and he has turned itinto good.
(23:52):
Not only changing my entirefamily dynamic, but creating a
whole nonprofit and ministryabout what I learned on that
journey.
Whatever you and your child aregoing through right now, and it
may feel like a curse, I wantyou to hold on to that.
It may have been exposure tosomething, it may have been a
choice, a bad choice your childmade.
(24:15):
I need you to hear me.
God can take that curse and turnit into a blessing.
I pray that over you.
Don't be frozen in fear.
Be obedient and trust our Lord.
He's got us.
SPEAKER_00 (24:32):
Next Talk is a 501c3 nonprofit keeping kids safe
online.
To support our work, make adonation at next talk.org.
Next talk resources are notintended to replace the advice
of a trained healthcare or legalprofessional, or to diagnose,
treat, or otherwise renderexpert advice regarding any type
of medical, psychological,legal, financial, or other
problem.
You are advised to consult aqualified expert for your
(24:53):
personal treatment plan.
Welcome to the Next Talk Podcast.
We are a nonprofit passionateabout keeping kids safe online.
We're learning together how tonavigate tech, culture, and
faith with our kids.
Face your fears.
Do not allow fear to take over.
Parenting in the digital worldis scary.
(00:23):
It's overwhelming.
You scroll through social mediaand all you see are these online
dangers.
Be careful about that.
Watch for this.
All of that is good.
It's raising awareness.
Of course, we want to shareinformation about how our kids
are being attacked online.
(00:44):
But at Next Talk, we don't justwant to create panic.
We want to give you a plan.
That's why our organization isso important.
Our plan is called the Next Talk10.
It's best practices to keep yourkids safe online.
And today I'm talking about oneof those principles.
(01:06):
Face your fears.
When I first started realizinghow the digital world was
changing the way my kids aregrowing up, I was overwhelmed.
I was afraid.
I was frozen in fear, quiteactually.
And that's where Satan wantedme.
(01:26):
I didn't want to talk about it.
I didn't want to acknowledge it.
I was sweeping it under the rug.
I also got bitter.
I got mad.
I mean, our kids' innocence isbeing stolen.
Like for many of us, we're doingall the right things.
We're not giving devices.
You know, if we are, we're we'rerolling it out in a practical
(01:48):
step-by-step way.
And our kids are still gettingexposed to stuff through
conversations at school, throughconversations on the bus.
It's infuriating.
You can do all the right thingsas a parent, but your kid is
still growing up in a brokenworld.
When this all first startedhappening in our family more
(02:10):
than a decade ago, my husbandand I would vent to each other.
Like, why in the world doeseverything have to be so
sexualized?
Why can't kids just be kids?
Everywhere we turned, theirinnocence was being stolen.
Those were real feelings that Ihad to process in the beginning.
The fear, the anxiety, thebitterness, the anger, just
(02:35):
being overwhelmed with it all.
Realizing how the world wasdifferent because of technology.
Honestly, you just have toaccept the fact that your kids
are growing up in a differentworld than we grew up in.
And that is, even if you chooseto limit or not give technology,
(02:55):
the world has changed.
My husband and my best friendreally helped me process those
emotions.
So I would not be frozen infear.
And they helped me understandthe shift that was happening in
culture because of technology.
But also, my faith gave me afoundation that kept me stable
(03:18):
in the middle of the chaos.
It reminds me of the biblicalstory when the disciples are in
the boat and there's a stormhappening.
And everywhere around them, it'sjust complete chaos.
They're all afraid, right?
I love what Jesus says inMatthew 14, 27.
(03:40):
Jesus says to the disciples,they're in the boat.
It's being rocked by the wavesand the thunder and the
lightning and the storm, andthey're so afraid.
And Jesus says, Don't be afraid.
Take courage.
I am here.
How powerful is that?
I can't tell you how many nightsI woke up in the middle of the
(04:03):
night, you know, at 2 a.m.
just stressed about how am Igoing to parent this world?
What am I going to do?
How do I respond to this adulttopic that my nine-year-old is
asking?
I just felt like I was in themiddle of a storm.
And God kept telling me, Mandy,take courage.
(04:23):
I am here.
This doesn't take me bysurprise.
I created you for this moment,for this child.
I handpicked you to be themother of these children.
I have you.
Don't take your eyes off of me.
I'm not going to let you drown.
I'm not going to let you getswallowed up in the waves of
(04:46):
this storm.
And I cannot tell you how muchpeace that gave me throughout
all of it.
Because that biblical foundationkept me stable in the middle of
it all.
That got me seeking the Lord formore and more, right?
I got in the Bible like neverbefore when my kids first
(05:08):
started getting exposed tostuff.
And I literally was thinking,honestly, some of their
questions were like, like Ididn't even know why I believed
what I believed.
Like, where is it in the Bible?
And why do I have that corevalue?
Right.
And so I just dug into the Bibleand I'm searching for the
answer.
Like, how do we keep our kidssafe online?
Lord, please show me the answer.
(05:29):
And in all of his graciousness,he led me to Deuteronomy 6, 6,
and 7 one day.
I was on my back porch, justlike a normal day reading
scripture.
And this is what it says Teachyour kids these commands I'm
giving you.
Talk.
When you're at home, when you'reon the go, when you're getting
(05:50):
up and going to bed.
Four key times to talk with ourkids.
The Lord is commanding us tocreate a culture of open
communication in our home whereno topic is off limits.
Our God wants us to have ahealthy dialogue between us and
our children where they canconfide in us and feel safe with
(06:14):
us.
This is literally biblical, andit is the solution to keeping
our kids safe online.
And as I found this and Iimplemented it in my home, these
10 core practices began toemerge, which is what we've
packaged up now and we call theNext Talk 10.
It is your plan to keep yourkids safe in such an overexposed
(06:37):
world.
So my whole focus was now onbuilding the relationship with
my kids.
I was spending less time nowresearching Wi-Fi routers and
more time pouring into therelationship with my child.
I referred to it as old Mandyand New Mandy, and I made an
immediate shift in my home inhow I was interacting and
(06:58):
responding with my childrenabout all things, but especially
about their online world andthings they were being exposed
to at school.
And you guys, as I started tomake this shift, I saw something
happening.
I went from old Mandy who hadtrouble sleeping.
I didn't want my kids to go tosleepovers or or do play dates
(07:18):
at anybody's houses because Iwas so afraid about what they
were getting exposed to becauseit was so much.
And I went from that, like lotsof anxiety, fear, being
overwhelmed, to this is whatstarted happening.
I would see these shifts in mykids because of how I was
changing how I was responding.
(07:39):
What was really cool as Istarted to implement Deuteronomy
6, 6, and 7 in our home.
And I started shifting theculture.
And my whole purpose, like everymorning when I woke up, my first
prayer was Lord, don't let memiss the teachable moments.
Don't let me miss theirquestions.
(08:00):
If they ask me something and Idon't know how to answer it,
give me wisdom.
Give me the words to say in themoment.
Help me build the relationshipwith my kids, right?
That is my sole purpose in lifeduring this phase because of how
much they were getting exposedto when they were little, even
when they didn't have phones.
(08:21):
And you guys, with thatmentality and being intentional
on what God asked me to do, thecoolest thing happened.
So I would pick my kids up fromschool, and what started
happening was my daughter, nineyears old at the time, would
start pulling me in the bedroomand she'd say, Mom, I heard this
(08:45):
today.
This person said this.
Like, I don't know what any ofthis means.
So then we would talk about it.
Through this process, I hadtaught her that if she heard
something new and she didn'tknow what it meant, I wanted a
red flag alert to go off in herbrain to come home and ask me.
So she was doing that.
I was learning not to overreactand go crazy.
And so we were building thisculture.
(09:08):
And so she would, she would talkto me about these things and
also she would protect the heartand mind of her younger baby
brother, right?
She wouldn't ask it in the carbecause through our
conversations, I was like,you're a little older, you know,
you and I can have ourone-on-one talk time and you can
ask me what you're hearing aboutyour friends at the lunch table,
(09:28):
what your peers are talkingabout on the playground.
Like we can just talk aboutthat.
But but let's not do it in frontof brother because we have a
duty to protect his heart andmind.
And you guys, the more that thatworked, like she would come home
and ask me, and they were bigtopics, like adult topics, like
stuff I didn't even know existeduntil I was college age, right?
(09:49):
Big stuff.
As she did that, I realized Iwas getting able to speak into
it.
And she was not listening to herfriends or the world.
And that took me from fear andanxiety to peace.
And I was empowered to keepdoing more of it because I saw
(10:14):
the benefits of it right away.
And that is my hope for you.
As you journey along andimplement these next top 10 into
your home, each one of thesethat we dive into, I pray that
you'll implement the practicalsuggestion and you'll see the
shift.
And once you see it happening,that's going to empower you to
(10:36):
keep going.
Because it's not easy.
I mean, it did take away thefear of I wasn't afraid that my
kids were going to be exposed tostuff and I didn't know it
anymore.
I didn't have a fear of thatanymore because I saw the
Deuteronomy 6, 6, and 7, thesolution of open communication.
I saw it working in my home.
That was really not the fearanymore.
(10:56):
Because they were, they startedto come home and ask me.
It was working.
Like the Lord knew what he wasdoing.
And that made me feel empowered.
I was sleeping better, lessanxiety.
When I was scrolling on socialand I would see a post about an
online danger, I wouldn't go topanic.
I would just be like, oh, thisthing that I'm doing in my home,
(11:18):
that's going to protect themfrom that.
Or we're going to have aconversation about this now
because I've had all these otherconversations and now I'm ready
for this one.
So it prepared me.
So that is what was so coolabout the motivation of seeing
this work in my home.
I saw it catch stuff thatfilters wouldn't catch, you
(11:38):
know, like our parental controlson a phone.
Like if your kid has aconversation at a neighbor's
house with a friend wherethey're searching for something
or they're talking aboutsomething inappropriate, your
filter on your home computersare not going to catch that.
The only way you're going toknow what happens at that
neighbor's house is if your kidis talking to you.
Right?
And so, I mean, same thing onthe playground, same thing at
(12:01):
youth group.
If your kid is not talking toyou, you're not going to know
what they're being exposed to.
So this is a way that you'relearning what they're learning
and then you're speaking intoit.
And what's cool about this toois, you know, when they started
asking me all these bigquestions and I had to dive into
scripture to be like, what do webelieve in?
Why do we believe it?
(12:22):
The cool thing was, is like Godreally did give me wisdom on how
to respond.
And I didn't need to know itall.
You know, there were some timeswhen I said, well, I don't know,
but let's go to God.
So we can dive into the Biblefor answers together.
Then we were like tackling theoverexposure and the culture
together instead of them tryingto figure it out on their own
(12:43):
and me not giving any inputwhatsoever.
And I have the responsibility topoint them to Jesus.
And I can, if they're opening upto me and talking to me and
confiding in me about whatthey're seeing and hearing.
Now, I will tell you onedownside to open communication.
You're gonna know some things.
(13:03):
Sometimes that's overwhelming.
It truly is overwhelming to knowall that they're caring.
And there are moments where Ihave cried with my husband about
that.
You know, like I just can'tbelieve that their friends are
dealing with this or that theirfriends are making these
choices.
But anytime that that wouldupset me, my husband would
(13:26):
always remind me if they weren'ttelling us, they would be
carrying this all alone.
Our child would be carrying thisall by themselves.
So we are taking the burden offby creating the open
communication in our home.
And that also helps against thefear of what are they gonna ask?
(13:48):
Or what are they gonna confidein me?
And am I gonna have the rightanswer?
You know, all of that is fearfultoo.
But this is where you have totrust God and you have to have
faith because it works.
This is the solution to keep ourkids safe.
But we cannot get frozen infear.
Oftentimes, what happened to meis your kid gets exposed, you
(14:12):
get mad because their innocenceis stolen, and then you just are
paralyzed in fear.
You're sweeping it under the rugbecause you don't know how to
address it.
You don't know how to have theconversation with your kid.
This is what Satan wants.
We have to rise above that,okay?
Process those feelings of fear,process it.
(14:32):
They are real.
Process those feelings of beingmad.
They are real, but we have tomove past it if we are going to
fight for our kids in thisculture.
So don't get frozen in fear.
Process those emotions with yourspouse andor a friend.
Pray, pray, and pray.
(14:54):
If the Lord wakes you up at 2a.m.
and you are anxious, pray aboutit.
Read the word of God.
That will give you the peace.
That will give you the wisdomyou need.
Remember Isaiah 41, 10.
Man, as a parent, I have prayedthis over myself and my family
(15:16):
and my kids so many times.
This is what that verse says.
Don't be afraid, for I am withyou.
Do not be discouraged, for I amyour God.
I will strengthen you and helpyou.
This is the creator of theworld, the Alpha, the Omega.
(15:36):
He knows more than we do.
And he is saying to us, don't beafraid.
I am going to strengthen you andI am going to help you.
This is the same kind oflanguage he used with the
disciples in that storm.
Have courage, don't be afraid.
I am here.
I am with you.
(15:57):
You don't have to be afraid.
Whatever technology wave comesnext, you know, right now we're
getting hit with a whole new setof problems with AI.
I don't know what it's going tobe in five years, but I do know
this.
It doesn't take God by surprise.
And the solution of creating ahealthy dialogue with your kid
will keep your child safe.
(16:20):
But we have to get out of ourfear and move.
We have to be obedient.
We have to dig in.
We have to have the toughconversations.
We have to trust our Lord thatHe's going to give us wisdom.
That is what obedience lookslike.
That is what courage is.
Do not let Satan win here and donot let Satan fill your mind
(16:42):
with anxiety and fear aboutparenting in the digital world.
Also, as we're talking aboutfears, I want to say this.
The conversation that you don'twant to have is the conversation
you must have.
If your kids come home and theyask you what sex is and you're
dreading that conversation,that's the conversation you need
(17:05):
to have.
And that goes for your spouse,your kids, anyone.
The conversation you don't wantto have is the one that you must
have.
Quit sweeping things under therug.
Have a healthy dialogue.
This is a key to a healthy home.
But Satan is setting up a systemwhere kids are being exposed to
(17:30):
porn.
They can't tell their parents.
They're living in shame becauseof all the porn that they're
watching.
Their mental health is beingaffected.
They're acting out or touchingothers because of all the porn
that they're watching.
Do you see what Satan is doingwith our children because they
can't confide in us?
It is our job, parents.
(17:52):
I know it's scary.
I know it's fearful, but we haveto move out of that fear and
build a healthy dialogue withour kids.
Our kids' life is at is at stakehere.
The world that we're living atis at stake.
We have to rise up and hold theline in this moment to protect
our children.
One other thing that I want tospeak into because when I was
(18:14):
sold on the idea of creatingopen communication, I don't want
to just be flippant and say allthe fear drifted away, right?
It it didn't.
It was a process of me seeing itwork and being empowered.
But one of the things is my kidsstarted talking to me more and
asking me things, I was soafraid of the question.
(18:35):
But did you do that?
Whether it be sex, alcohol,whatever it be, we're talking
about it, right?
And my biggest fear was how do Ianswer when my kid says, Did you
do that?
Because you guys, I was a wreckas a teenager.
I was a wreck.
I'm so glad that there weren'tphones when I grew up because I
(19:01):
made so many bad choices as ateenager.
And you know what?
The cool thing was as I prayedabout that free fear, my kids
asking me that, he showed me howto do it.
So for my home, you know, what Idid was early on, I would say
things to my kids like, Well,you know, mom, mom made a lot of
(19:24):
bad decisions as a teen.
I really wish I would have couldgo back and do things
differently.
Like it was a really hard timein my life.
Actually, looking back, it'sprobably the darkest years of my
life or my teenage years.
And I would just say blanketstatements like that as they
were growing up.
And then as my kids were olderand it was the right time, if
(19:44):
they asked me a specificquestion, that is when I felt
compelled to give them a littlebit more detail.
Not a lot, but letting them knowthat there were lots of things
that I wish I could go back andchange about my teenage years.
And as a parent, I'm trying toteach them, show them a better
(20:06):
way, you know, because likethings like sex, like God
doesn't put that rule in placebecause he hates us.
He knows what's best.
He wants to protect us.
When you start getting to thatlevel of conversations with your
kids, what's really cool is thatthe character of God is
highlighted.
(20:27):
And what I mean by that is, youknow, the world tells kids,
everyone, that sin is fun andsin is, you know, God is just a
God of rules and he doesn't wantyou to have fun and restrictions
and all that, right?
But when you actually look at itfrom the point of view of your
life, I know for me, the darkestof my days were when I was not
(20:54):
living under God's provision.
Like I was doing whatever Mandywanted to do.
That was when my mental healthwas the worst.
That was when like I had nopurpose.
That's when I cried a lot.
I was doing a lot ofself-destructive behaviors.
And now that I'm under God'sprovision and I've submitted to
it and I've said, Lord, you knowbest, I'm gonna follow all of
(21:17):
your ways and I'm gonna followyour guidelines and the word.
This is the healthiest I've everbeen mentally, right?
Like we have those stories totell our children.
And when we tell them thosestories, they realize God's
character, that He's not tryingto be mean.
He loves us, He wants to protectus.
(21:38):
That does so much for our kids'faith, their development of
their faith, the relationshipbetween the kid and Jesus.
You know, that that still quietmoment when that kid could
choose whatever that kid wantsto choose, but they're gonna
listen to God.
They're gonna listen to the HolySpirit in them more than their
(21:58):
feelings or more than what theworld is saying is, oh, that's
no big deal, right?
That's what we want to push themtowards.
And when we can unlock thatlevel of communication in our
home, you guys, I'm telling you,the fear will fade away.
The Lord will take away the fearbecause you see the Lord's
(22:21):
commands and his Bible comealive in your home and keeping
your kids safe.
Like, like for me personally,even, my faith has been
developed in a way just seeingGod's wisdom overtake our home
and make these small shifts inour relationship and how we
communicate about things.
(22:43):
God knows what he's doing.
I know this world is crazy.
I know parenting in a digitalworld is overwhelming.
But I hope you are encouragedtoday, process that fear, face
it, and then conquer it.
Move on.
Because on the other side offear is communication and beauty
(23:08):
and character of God and faithbuilding, like you would never
know.
Deuteronomy 23:5 says, God turnsthe intended curse into a
blessing because He loves you.
Never in a million years did Ithink my child being exposed to
pornography in the fourth gradewithout a phone would be a
(23:30):
blessing in my life.
I was mad.
I was just gut punched, sobitter and so afraid about the
world my children were growingup in.
But God has taken that cursethat Satan threw at us, that
exposure, and he has turned itinto good.
(23:52):
Not only changing my entirefamily dynamic, but creating a
whole nonprofit and ministryabout what I learned on that
journey.
Whatever you and your child aregoing through right now, and it
may feel like a curse, I wantyou to hold on to that.
It may have been exposure tosomething, it may have been a
choice, a bad choice your childmade.
(24:15):
I need you to hear me.
God can take that curse and turnit into a blessing.
I pray that over you.
Don't be frozen in fear.
Be obedient and trust our Lord.
He's got us.
SPEAKER_00 (24:32):
Next Talk is a 501c3 nonprofit keeping kids safe
online.
To support our work, make adonation at next talk.org.
Next talk resources are notintended to replace the advice
of a trained healthcare or legalprofessional, or to diagnose,
treat, or otherwise renderexpert advice regarding any type
of medical, psychological,legal, financial, or other
problem.
You are advised to consult aqualified expert for your
(24:53):
personal treatment plan.
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