May 16, 2025 • 13 mins
Why should we keep screens out of our kid’s bedroom and bathroom? Mandy explains four reasons this was a guideline for her own kids and why she continues to recommend it to keep kids safe.
KEEPING KIDS SAFE ONLINE
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Next Talk podcast.
We are a nonprofit passionateabout keeping kids safe online.
We're learning together how tonavigate tech, culture and faith
with our kids.
Today, I'm going to discussfour reasons why I have chosen
to keep screens out of my kids'bedrooms and bathrooms.
Now I am defining screens asanything with an internet
(00:26):
connection, so that means phones, tablets, tvs, computers,
xboxes, those sorts of thingsuntil they reach a certain age.
Okay, so generally, whenthey're young, there's no
screens in bedrooms or bathrooms, and I want to walk you through
these four key reasons.
I would love for you to hangfor all four of them, and I want
(00:48):
you to consider maybeconsidering this a new guideline
for your home as well.
For those of you who mayfollowed our story from the
beginning, you know how old ourkids, but if you're new here, my
kids right now are 17 and 21.
Obviously, the 21 year oldshe's out of the house, she's
building a life, she's graduatedfrom college, all of those
(01:09):
things.
My 17-year-old still lives athome, but our whole next hop
journey started when my kidswere five and nine.
Back then, all those years ago,nobody had this boundary in
place.
One one day I kind of stumbledupon it, and it was like a light
bulb moment for me that, oh mygoodness, I shouldn't allow
(01:31):
phones, particularly in thebathroom, this moment, and so
this kind of goes into my pointnumber one as to why I don't
allow screens in bedrooms orbathrooms.
So number one is because ofnude photos, and let me talk to
you about this teachable momentthat I stumbled upon.
So when my son was five.
(01:53):
You know, we were just startingon this journey and I was
trying to figure out, like okay,how do I keep them safe in a
digital world?
Back then, my kids neither oneof them had phones.
How do I keep them safe in adigital world?
Back then, my kids neither oneof them had phones, but we did
have a family iPad where theywould play games and stuff, and
one day he had walked in on meand I was changing which was
(02:14):
normal, right, but little kidsdo that.
But old Mandy would have beenlike get out of here, Like give
me a minute, let me get changed.
New Mandy, though, like I hadbeen doing all this research,
and back then the big thing wasnude photos.
All kinds of kids were sharingnude photos, and it was kind of
new on the horizon and I hadbeen talking to a lot of
(02:34):
families and kids and doingresearch on nude photos.
Well, in this moment of afive-year-old walking in and I'm
undressed, my mind went to allthis nude photo stuff that I was
, the research that I was doing,and I remember thinking, oh, my
goodness, here's a teachablemoment.
And so I put my robe on and Isaid to my son hey, bubba, that
(02:58):
iPad, it takes pictures, but wenever take pictures of people
without clothes on.
Like what if you accidentallywould have taken a picture of
mommy without clothes on?
So from now on we're just notgoing to bring the iPad into the
bathroom, like there's no needfor it, because in the bathroom
we're changing, we're taking abath, we're going to the
(03:19):
bathroom, like normally we'renot clothed, so we really need
to not bring cameras when we'reundressing.
And that was kind of a lightbulb parenting moment for me,
because I was researching allthese cases and talking to all
these families where their kidshad shared nude photos and some
of them were being prosecutedand everything back then.
That was like happening and Iremember just thinking, um, god
(03:45):
showed me here how to plant aseed in my five-year-old about
nude photos without overexposinghim to big, scary content.
So from immediately that pointon, we had no phones in
bathrooms.
That was like a turning pointfor us.
The other thing is we added onthe bedroom thing because I got
to working more cases, and soone is you're going to protect
(04:08):
your kid from nude photosbecause it really will create a
boundary in their mind that theyshouldn't be taking pictures of
body parts.
But number two is and this ismore cases that I was working as
I was getting into my advocacywork with Next Talk is keep your
kids safe from pornography.
Worked with a lot of familiesearly on with a lot of
(04:29):
pornography exposure and almostalways it was at nighttime.
You know they were behind aclosed door and that sort of
thing.
So immediately one of ourfamily guidelines became no
bathrooms and no bedrooms, andyou know that meant no screens
at bedtime, no screens behindclosed doors.
(04:50):
Even if they were in the gameroom playing on the iPad, the
door had to be open, right.
And so just this concept ofthere's no private spaces where
we've got a screen and you knowtheir curiosity may be tempted
or something may pop up and theydon't know what to do with it.
(05:11):
And then there's all thisexposure Like that's what I was
trying to prevent early on.
So, number one prevent nudephotos.
Number two keep your kids safefrom pornography.
Number three, though and thisis something like I did not
implement this for this reason,but it has been very beneficial
Three is sleep helps your kid dotheir best.
Research actually shows thislike the more sleep your student
(05:34):
gets, the better grades they'llget, and that is something that
has been a positive impact ofthis guideline.
Without me realizing it, it hasreally kept my kids focused,
and so what I mean by that is,yeah, they may be on their
phones or whatever, but whenit's bedtime, it's bedtime, and
so their phones would then go onthe kitchen counter and they
(05:55):
would get a good seven to eighthours of sleep, and they perform
better as an athlete, theyperform better as a student
because they're getting thesleep that they need, and so
that's just like a human needthat we all need, and when
you're talking to your kidsabout this too, like if you're
going to implement this newguideline or you're going to
move towards this, you could usethis.
So you know, american Academyof Pediatrics says screens
(06:19):
should be turned off.
I think it's 30 minutes beforebedtime.
That's just allowing your mindto shut down from all the intake
that you're getting fromscrolling or being on a device.
So, number one protect your kidfrom made photos.
Number two protect your kidsfrom pornography.
Number three just help them geta good night's sleep, because
it helps them be a better person.
(06:40):
That's with all of us.
And number four is somethingthat has come on the horizon.
As I've been in Next Top Like Ididn't purposely create this
guideline to protect my kidsfrom this, but as I've seen kids
literally lose their lives likeI've been so thankful that
we've had this boundary in place.
And number four is onlinepredators getting access to my
(07:04):
kid.
In recent years really since2022, we've been following
sextortion cases and you guysall know Walker's story and
Walker's dad and if you're newhere, go listen to those shows
because they are just like partof our Next Top Family now.
But you know, many times wethink our kids are safe when
(07:25):
they're at home.
Our kids are safe when they'reat home and that's actually not
true anymore, because nowpredators are coming into our
kids' bedrooms through thedevices and they're building
relationships with our kids andthey're manipulating our kids
and terrorizing our kids andwe've seen kids lose their lives
because of that.
And I mean these onlinepredators have gotten very
(07:49):
creative and smart in how theytrap these kids and we've seen
stories like Walker's from thefirst DM, which Walker thought
it was a cute girl.
Within three hours we lostWalker.
This just creates a boundary inplace that they do not have
(08:10):
screens in bedrooms or bathrooms, so the predators literally it
limits the access that they haveto our kids.
This is just a really importantboundary and I know I get the
emails that say well, kids couldsneak it.
Absolutely, my kids could getup in the middle of the night at
2 am and get on their phone andsneak it and still a predator
get to them.
Absolutely, that could happen,but it's an extra step that they
(08:31):
have to take before thepredator gets to them.
Absolutely, that could happen,but it's an extra step that they
have to take before thepredator gets to them.
So it's like everything in mypower that I'm doing to help
protect my kids.
So four reasons Protect yourkids from nude photos, protect
your kids from pornography, helpthem get sleep.
It helps them do better thenext day.
And number four is it helpsprevent online predators from
(08:53):
getting access to your kids.
There's a couple things I wantto talk about as we round out
this show, and this just a fewquestions that I get when this
no bedroom, no bathroom rulecomes up Well, does it ever?
Do your kids ever age out of it?
Is it a forever rule?
And my answer to that is no.
For example, my daughter had abunny when she was, I think, 14,
(09:17):
15, and the cage was in herroom and she wanted to take
pretty pictures of the bunny youknow cute pictures of the bunny
.
And so she asked me one day,like can I take my phone in
there?
I'll keep the door open, but Ijust want to get pictures of my
bunny.
And I remember thinking tomyself you know, she's following
(09:39):
our rules.
I'm doing random phone chats,I'm not finding anything in
there.
I never see her sneaking herphone or screens at night.
And so I was like of course youcan.
Like, yeah, you can, you can dothat for the next hour.
Just keep your door open, okay,and I know that you know how to
be safe on that device.
So let me know if anything popsup or you're doing anything
else other than pictures.
And like we gradually wereallowing her to have more
freedom.
The other thing was about sixmonths before she left for
(10:05):
college.
I looked at my husband and Iwas like she's never had a phone
in a bedroom at night ever andI don't want her college dorm to
be the first time she ever hasthat phone in her bed.
So we caught her doingsomething amazing and that was
like she told us something thatwas happening with her friend
group.
She was super honest with usabout it and didn't have to tell
us and we said you know, youalways confide in us, you tell
(10:25):
us these things.
So you're now kind of going toearn your phone in your bedroom
at night.
And it wasn't always great.
She made mistakes with that sixmonths before she left for
college and she came on our showand kind of talked through that
.
I'll link that show if you wantto hear directly from her about
it.
But it gave her this newresponsibility right before she
(10:46):
left our home so that she wasn'tlearning it the first time away
from me, and I think that'sreally important.
But I also think you can't letyour guard down too early
because we still need to protectour kids.
Their prefrontal cortex isstill not developed and we still
need to protect them and putall the boundaries in place that
we can in assisting them withkeeping them safe.
(11:09):
We have recently worked withWalker's family and rolled out
what we have called Walker'sPromise, and what we're asking
is for every family to commit togenerally having a no-bedroom
bathroom rule like the one Ihave implemented all those years
.
I'm not asking you to commit toanything that I haven't done
(11:31):
myself.
I would love for you to go toour website and look at Walker's
Promise and consider prayingover that and making that a new
guideline in your home.
I do want to say if you have anolder child who has unlimited
access and they have no rulesand boundaries around where they
(11:52):
take their devices in the home,I don't want you to just go
home guns blazing one day andyank all those devices out of
their room, because I think thatwill damage the relationship
between you and your child and Idon't want that for you.
The key here in keeping our kidssafe is for getting our kids to
confide in us and coming to uswith things.
So I think it's a different wayto roll that out and we
(12:14):
actually have a whole show onthat that I will also link below
.
So if you are in that situationwhere you're like, well, I've
already allowed this for acouple of years, how do I go
back?
And I hope that show will behelpful to you.
It's really about educatingyour kids on why we have this
new guideline and not sayingthat they've done anything wrong
.
But there's just a lot ofonline dangers out there that I
(12:37):
wasn't aware of, and as I'mbecoming aware and as I learn
more, I understand that this isa really important guideline
that maybe we need to all tryand work together to have in our
home.
So I hope this is helpful toyou and I hope you will consider
signing Walker's Promise andmaking the commitment that I
have made in my own home let'sprotect our kids' private spaces
(13:01):
.
Let's have no screens in ourkids' bedrooms and bathrooms.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Next Talk is a 501c3 nonprofit keeping kids safe
online.
To support our work, make adonation at nexttalkorg.
Next Talk resources are notintended to replace the advice
of a trained healthcare or legalprofessional, or to diagnose,
treat or otherwise render expertadvice regarding any type of
medical, psychological, legal,financial or other problem.
You are advised to consult aqualified expert for your
(13:27):
personal treatment plan.
Welcome to the Next Talk podcast.
We are a nonprofit passionateabout keeping kids safe online.
We're learning together how tonavigate tech, culture and faith
with our kids.
Today, I'm going to discussfour reasons why I have chosen
to keep screens out of my kids'bedrooms and bathrooms.
Now I am defining screens asanything with an internet
(00:26):
connection, so that means phones, tablets, tvs, computers,
xboxes, those sorts of thingsuntil they reach a certain age.
Okay, so generally, whenthey're young, there's no
screens in bedrooms or bathrooms, and I want to walk you through
these four key reasons.
I would love for you to hangfor all four of them, and I want
(00:48):
you to consider maybeconsidering this a new guideline
for your home as well.
For those of you who mayfollowed our story from the
beginning, you know how old ourkids, but if you're new here, my
kids right now are 17 and 21.
Obviously, the 21 year oldshe's out of the house, she's
building a life, she's graduatedfrom college, all of those
(01:09):
things.
My 17-year-old still lives athome, but our whole next hop
journey started when my kidswere five and nine.
Back then, all those years ago,nobody had this boundary in
place.
One one day I kind of stumbledupon it, and it was like a light
bulb moment for me that, oh mygoodness, I shouldn't allow
(01:31):
phones, particularly in thebathroom, this moment, and so
this kind of goes into my pointnumber one as to why I don't
allow screens in bedrooms orbathrooms.
So number one is because ofnude photos, and let me talk to
you about this teachable momentthat I stumbled upon.
So when my son was five.
(01:53):
You know, we were just startingon this journey and I was
trying to figure out, like okay,how do I keep them safe in a
digital world?
Back then, my kids neither oneof them had phones.
How do I keep them safe in adigital world?
Back then, my kids neither oneof them had phones, but we did
have a family iPad where theywould play games and stuff, and
one day he had walked in on meand I was changing which was
(02:14):
normal, right, but little kidsdo that.
But old Mandy would have beenlike get out of here, Like give
me a minute, let me get changed.
New Mandy, though, like I hadbeen doing all this research,
and back then the big thing wasnude photos.
All kinds of kids were sharingnude photos, and it was kind of
new on the horizon and I hadbeen talking to a lot of
(02:34):
families and kids and doingresearch on nude photos.
Well, in this moment of afive-year-old walking in and I'm
undressed, my mind went to allthis nude photo stuff that I was
, the research that I was doing,and I remember thinking, oh, my
goodness, here's a teachablemoment.
And so I put my robe on and Isaid to my son hey, bubba, that
(02:58):
iPad, it takes pictures, but wenever take pictures of people
without clothes on.
Like what if you accidentallywould have taken a picture of
mommy without clothes on?
So from now on we're just notgoing to bring the iPad into the
bathroom, like there's no needfor it, because in the bathroom
we're changing, we're taking abath, we're going to the
(03:19):
bathroom, like normally we'renot clothed, so we really need
to not bring cameras when we'reundressing.
And that was kind of a lightbulb parenting moment for me,
because I was researching allthese cases and talking to all
these families where their kidshad shared nude photos and some
of them were being prosecutedand everything back then.
That was like happening and Iremember just thinking, um, god
(03:45):
showed me here how to plant aseed in my five-year-old about
nude photos without overexposinghim to big, scary content.
So from immediately that pointon, we had no phones in
bathrooms.
That was like a turning pointfor us.
The other thing is we added onthe bedroom thing because I got
to working more cases, and soone is you're going to protect
(04:08):
your kid from nude photosbecause it really will create a
boundary in their mind that theyshouldn't be taking pictures of
body parts.
But number two is and this ismore cases that I was working as
I was getting into my advocacywork with Next Talk is keep your
kids safe from pornography.
Worked with a lot of familiesearly on with a lot of
(04:29):
pornography exposure and almostalways it was at nighttime.
You know they were behind aclosed door and that sort of
thing.
So immediately one of ourfamily guidelines became no
bathrooms and no bedrooms, andyou know that meant no screens
at bedtime, no screens behindclosed doors.
(04:50):
Even if they were in the gameroom playing on the iPad, the
door had to be open, right.
And so just this concept ofthere's no private spaces where
we've got a screen and you knowtheir curiosity may be tempted
or something may pop up and theydon't know what to do with it.
(05:11):
And then there's all thisexposure Like that's what I was
trying to prevent early on.
So, number one prevent nudephotos.
Number two keep your kids safefrom pornography.
Number three, though and thisis something like I did not
implement this for this reason,but it has been very beneficial
Three is sleep helps your kid dotheir best.
Research actually shows thislike the more sleep your student
(05:34):
gets, the better grades they'llget, and that is something that
has been a positive impact ofthis guideline.
Without me realizing it, it hasreally kept my kids focused,
and so what I mean by that is,yeah, they may be on their
phones or whatever, but whenit's bedtime, it's bedtime, and
so their phones would then go onthe kitchen counter and they
(05:55):
would get a good seven to eighthours of sleep, and they perform
better as an athlete, theyperform better as a student
because they're getting thesleep that they need, and so
that's just like a human needthat we all need, and when
you're talking to your kidsabout this too, like if you're
going to implement this newguideline or you're going to
move towards this, you could usethis.
So you know, american Academyof Pediatrics says screens
(06:19):
should be turned off.
I think it's 30 minutes beforebedtime.
That's just allowing your mindto shut down from all the intake
that you're getting fromscrolling or being on a device.
So, number one protect your kidfrom made photos.
Number two protect your kidsfrom pornography.
Number three just help them geta good night's sleep, because
it helps them be a better person.
(06:40):
That's with all of us.
And number four is somethingthat has come on the horizon.
As I've been in Next Top Like Ididn't purposely create this
guideline to protect my kidsfrom this, but as I've seen kids
literally lose their lives likeI've been so thankful that
we've had this boundary in place.
And number four is onlinepredators getting access to my
(07:04):
kid.
In recent years really since2022, we've been following
sextortion cases and you guysall know Walker's story and
Walker's dad and if you're newhere, go listen to those shows
because they are just like partof our Next Top Family now.
But you know, many times wethink our kids are safe when
(07:25):
they're at home.
Our kids are safe when they'reat home and that's actually not
true anymore, because nowpredators are coming into our
kids' bedrooms through thedevices and they're building
relationships with our kids andthey're manipulating our kids
and terrorizing our kids andwe've seen kids lose their lives
because of that.
And I mean these onlinepredators have gotten very
(07:49):
creative and smart in how theytrap these kids and we've seen
stories like Walker's from thefirst DM, which Walker thought
it was a cute girl.
Within three hours we lostWalker.
This just creates a boundary inplace that they do not have
(08:10):
screens in bedrooms or bathrooms, so the predators literally it
limits the access that they haveto our kids.
This is just a really importantboundary and I know I get the
emails that say well, kids couldsneak it.
Absolutely, my kids could getup in the middle of the night at
2 am and get on their phone andsneak it and still a predator
get to them.
Absolutely, that could happen,but it's an extra step that they
(08:31):
have to take before thepredator gets to them.
Absolutely, that could happen,but it's an extra step that they
have to take before thepredator gets to them.
So it's like everything in mypower that I'm doing to help
protect my kids.
So four reasons Protect yourkids from nude photos, protect
your kids from pornography, helpthem get sleep.
It helps them do better thenext day.
And number four is it helpsprevent online predators from
(08:53):
getting access to your kids.
There's a couple things I wantto talk about as we round out
this show, and this just a fewquestions that I get when this
no bedroom, no bathroom rulecomes up Well, does it ever?
Do your kids ever age out of it?
Is it a forever rule?
And my answer to that is no.
For example, my daughter had abunny when she was, I think, 14,
(09:17):
15, and the cage was in herroom and she wanted to take
pretty pictures of the bunny youknow cute pictures of the bunny
.
And so she asked me one day,like can I take my phone in
there?
I'll keep the door open, but Ijust want to get pictures of my
bunny.
And I remember thinking tomyself you know, she's following
(09:39):
our rules.
I'm doing random phone chats,I'm not finding anything in
there.
I never see her sneaking herphone or screens at night.
And so I was like of course youcan.
Like, yeah, you can, you can dothat for the next hour.
Just keep your door open, okay,and I know that you know how to
be safe on that device.
So let me know if anything popsup or you're doing anything
else other than pictures.
And like we gradually wereallowing her to have more
freedom.
The other thing was about sixmonths before she left for
(10:05):
college.
I looked at my husband and Iwas like she's never had a phone
in a bedroom at night ever andI don't want her college dorm to
be the first time she ever hasthat phone in her bed.
So we caught her doingsomething amazing and that was
like she told us something thatwas happening with her friend
group.
She was super honest with usabout it and didn't have to tell
us and we said you know, youalways confide in us, you tell
(10:25):
us these things.
So you're now kind of going toearn your phone in your bedroom
at night.
And it wasn't always great.
She made mistakes with that sixmonths before she left for
college and she came on our showand kind of talked through that
.
I'll link that show if you wantto hear directly from her about
it.
But it gave her this newresponsibility right before she
(10:46):
left our home so that she wasn'tlearning it the first time away
from me, and I think that'sreally important.
But I also think you can't letyour guard down too early
because we still need to protectour kids.
Their prefrontal cortex isstill not developed and we still
need to protect them and putall the boundaries in place that
we can in assisting them withkeeping them safe.
(11:09):
We have recently worked withWalker's family and rolled out
what we have called Walker'sPromise, and what we're asking
is for every family to commit togenerally having a no-bedroom
bathroom rule like the one Ihave implemented all those years
.
I'm not asking you to commit toanything that I haven't done
(11:31):
myself.
I would love for you to go toour website and look at Walker's
Promise and consider prayingover that and making that a new
guideline in your home.
I do want to say if you have anolder child who has unlimited
access and they have no rulesand boundaries around where they
(11:52):
take their devices in the home,I don't want you to just go
home guns blazing one day andyank all those devices out of
their room, because I think thatwill damage the relationship
between you and your child and Idon't want that for you.
The key here in keeping our kidssafe is for getting our kids to
confide in us and coming to uswith things.
So I think it's a different wayto roll that out and we
(12:14):
actually have a whole show onthat that I will also link below
.
So if you are in that situationwhere you're like, well, I've
already allowed this for acouple of years, how do I go
back?
And I hope that show will behelpful to you.
It's really about educatingyour kids on why we have this
new guideline and not sayingthat they've done anything wrong
.
But there's just a lot ofonline dangers out there that I
(12:37):
wasn't aware of, and as I'mbecoming aware and as I learn
more, I understand that this isa really important guideline
that maybe we need to all tryand work together to have in our
home.
So I hope this is helpful toyou and I hope you will consider
signing Walker's Promise andmaking the commitment that I
have made in my own home let'sprotect our kids' private spaces
(13:01):
.
Let's have no screens in ourkids' bedrooms and bathrooms.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Next Talk is a 501c3 nonprofit keeping kids safe
online.
To support our work, make adonation at nexttalkorg.
Next Talk resources are notintended to replace the advice
of a trained healthcare or legalprofessional, or to diagnose,
treat or otherwise render expertadvice regarding any type of
medical, psychological, legal,financial or other problem.
You are advised to consult aqualified expert for your
(13:27):
personal treatment plan.
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