October 28, 2024 • 8 mins
Is your son always requesting online gaming gift cards? Is he spending all his money on V-Bucks? If you’re feeling uncomfortable about your kid spending so much money on virtual games, we have some talking points for you.
KEEPING KIDS SAFE ONLINE
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the Next Talk podcast.
We are passionate about keepingkids safe in an overexposed
world.
We have some more parentquestions today.
You guys are sending more in,so I think you're liking this
feedback.
The feedback we've gotten sofar is positive.
Please keep letting us know ifthis podcast is helpful to you.
With all the changes, we justwant to make sure that we're
(00:25):
still serving families well hereat Next Talk by doing this
podcast.
Before we get into the parentquestions, I have a little
devotional for you.
Colossians 3, 12 has been on myheart and mind lately and I
just I wanted to share it.
It says since God chose you tobe the holy people he loves, you
(00:47):
must clothe yourselves withtenderhearted mercy, kindness,
humility, gentleness andpatience.
Make allowance for each other'sfaults and forgive anyone who
offends you.
And forgive anyone who offendsyou.
Remember the Lord forgave you,so you must forgive others.
(01:08):
Above all, clothe yourselveswith love, which binds us all
together in perfect harmony.
I was reading this the otherday and you know how it says
make allowance for each other'sfaults and forgive anyone who
offends you.
Okay, parents of teenagers,that's a word for you, because
(01:32):
I'm a parent of a teenager andthey're struggling.
They got a lot coming at them.
They're at school, you know, 8,10, 12 hours.
If you've got an athlete, I'vegot an athlete, so he's at
school a lot, and they may gethome and not be maybe in the
best mood, and I have to remindmyself like this verse respond
(01:55):
with tenderhearted mercy,kindness, humility, gentleness
and patience.
I have to remind myself torespond that way and I just
wanted to encourage that.
I know sometimes we read thatand we think of our enemies or
somebody who's spewing hate onus about social media responding
that way.
And obviously we need torespond that way to people who
(02:16):
don't like us.
You know the Lord was tellingme the other day you need to
respond that way with the peopleyou love the most.
The people right across fromyour dinner table, like those
people in your family, need youto make allowance for each
other's fault, and so I hopethat blesses you today.
It was just on my heart and Iwanted to share it.
(02:38):
So I have had this question acouple times in different
versions, and I want to say thelatest version because this is
the one that came through mostrecently.
Here's what it was my 12 yearold son is spending so much
money on Fortnite.
He wants gift cards forbirthdays and holidays.
(03:00):
I'm freaking out because I feellike it's such a waste of money
for online stuff.
Why am I so uneasy?
Is this okay?
Is it normal?
This is a great question.
I want to say to you.
I assume your 12-year-old isyour first child and it's the
first time you're walkingthrough this.
This is normal.
(03:21):
I have a son and he used to be agamer.
I mean, he still is, but heused to really be a gamer and he
loved Fortnite.
He loved it, and so he was thesame as your son.
He would want gift cards forbirthdays, christmas.
All of that was asked forV-Bucks.
Most of the time, he wouldspend his money on what's called
(03:45):
skins and you can buy weaponsto emotes or a thing where you
can buy it.
Those are like dances that youcan buy, and so they're buying
things to kind of accessorizetheir character.
Now, I remember when this firststarted happening with him.
I was uneasy about it too,because I'm like online, what in
(04:06):
the world?
Like I have to understand this.
I would ask him what do youwant to buy with it?
And he would sit down and showme the dances he would want to
buy the skins he would want tobuy and that sort of thing.
As he showed me those things,you know what I envisioned in my
mind Build-A-Bear.
I don't know where, that'swhere my mind went, but you
remember when we used to takeour kids to build I mean, some
people still do you take yourkids to Build-A-Bear and they
(04:28):
get different outfits for thebear.
That's what it is.
You're buying a skin, adifferent outfit for your online
character, and so I know itfeels weird, but that's kind of
like their virtual world howthey're doing it.
So I don't think there'snecessarily anything wrong with
it.
Now there could beinappropriate skins you don't
want them having, orinappropriate dances or
something like that.
That's a different conversation, but generally, I think that we
(04:52):
need to look at it that way.
You also need to be thinkingabout you don't want your kid to
waste money, because I rememberwe had a ton of those outfits
laying around that they neverchanged the bear's clothes, and
so at that time I would starttalking to my kid about saving
money, not being wasteful.
I would start explaining thevalue of what things cost, and I
(05:13):
think you should be doing thattoo, at 12 years old.
So when you go out to dinner,they need to know this is how
much dinner costs tonight.
Equate the money that you'respending on things to what
they're spending money on online.
So this would cost how much forthat skin.
They need to understand thevalue of the money.
If your bank account allows youto open up a child bank account
(05:36):
, do that Invest.
This is when my son, when hefirst started using V-Bucks all
the time and I wanted him tounderstand the value of a dollar
and I'm okay with you buying askin, but I don't want you
wasting money Like are you goingto use this skin, is it going
to be useful or are you justcollecting all of these and
they're just sitting there andit's a waste of money.
So I started talking to himabout investing.
(05:58):
We bought his first stock forhim because I wanted him to see
how it could grow over time andthat way he's understanding that
.
Also, like with chores in ourhouse and I know this is like
you think this was a questionabout V-Bucks but this matters
because you're wanting them tothink about how they're spending
their money.
You want them to be responsibleand instead of just saying no
(06:21):
and shutting it down.
We want to counter that withsome education on what else you
could be spending your money on.
With his chores at home, he hasto do certain things that he
doesn't get money for, likegeneral stuff Put away your
laundry, you know.
Keep your, you know, keep themain area cleaned up with your
clothes and stuff like that.
Like like you got to beresponsible for certain things
(06:42):
unloading the dishwasher.
That's just part of you being apart of this family and
contributing to the families, tothe family unit.
He could also do other thingsthat were extra to make money.
And so say, he mowed the yardor he dusted my baseboards or
stuff like that, that heactually earned money.
(07:02):
Then have the conversation withhim Wow, you earned $30, but
how long did it take you?
Four hours.
Well, are you going to spendall of that on one skin?
With one click of a button andit's gone.
So that way they're justunderstanding the value of the
dollar.
I think that's the biggerconversation that can also help
(07:23):
them see why they want to spendtheir money on V-Bucks, but I
wouldn't ban it.
I mean, I feel like it's justpart of their culture growing up
.
They're buying the skins onlineversus us going into a store
and buying something.
We just have to have thatcontext of the value of a dollar
and let's not waste the money.
Another thing that I just wantto say is, if you are like, ooh,
(07:46):
I would like to start investing, or whatever, and you're new to
that space to resources, that Ilove, that I watch regularly,
is the Dave Ramsey show and thenalso the money guys both really
good information.
Of course, my son at 12 wouldnot sit through one of those
podcasts, but sometimes theyshare screenshots or whatever,
(08:08):
and I would.
I would shoot, you know, take apicture of a screenshot of
something on the podcast andthen maybe that's a conversation
at dinner.
You know, if you invest thismuch money every month, starting
at 25, this is how much you'regonna retire with.
Just again, getting them tothink outside of their little
virtual world of VBOTS.
I think that's really important.
(08:28):
I hope this is helpful.
Make a donation today atnexttalkorg.
This podcast is not intended toreplace the advice of a trained
healthcare or legalprofessional, or to diagnose,
treat or otherwise render expertadvice regarding any type of
medical, psychological or legalproblem.
Listeners are advised toconsult a qualified expert for
treatment.
Welcome to the Next Talk podcast.
We are passionate about keepingkids safe in an overexposed
world.
We have some more parentquestions today.
You guys are sending more in,so I think you're liking this
feedback.
The feedback we've gotten sofar is positive.
Please keep letting us know ifthis podcast is helpful to you.
With all the changes, we justwant to make sure that we're
(00:25):
still serving families well hereat Next Talk by doing this
podcast.
Before we get into the parentquestions, I have a little
devotional for you.
Colossians 3, 12 has been on myheart and mind lately and I
just I wanted to share it.
It says since God chose you tobe the holy people he loves, you
(00:47):
must clothe yourselves withtenderhearted mercy, kindness,
humility, gentleness andpatience.
Make allowance for each other'sfaults and forgive anyone who
offends you.
And forgive anyone who offendsyou.
Remember the Lord forgave you,so you must forgive others.
(01:08):
Above all, clothe yourselveswith love, which binds us all
together in perfect harmony.
I was reading this the otherday and you know how it says
make allowance for each other'sfaults and forgive anyone who
offends you.
Okay, parents of teenagers,that's a word for you, because
(01:32):
I'm a parent of a teenager andthey're struggling.
They got a lot coming at them.
They're at school, you know, 8,10, 12 hours.
If you've got an athlete, I'vegot an athlete, so he's at
school a lot, and they may gethome and not be maybe in the
best mood, and I have to remindmyself like this verse respond
(01:55):
with tenderhearted mercy,kindness, humility, gentleness
and patience.
I have to remind myself torespond that way and I just
wanted to encourage that.
I know sometimes we read thatand we think of our enemies or
somebody who's spewing hate onus about social media responding
that way.
And obviously we need torespond that way to people who
(02:16):
don't like us.
You know the Lord was tellingme the other day you need to
respond that way with the peopleyou love the most.
The people right across fromyour dinner table, like those
people in your family, need youto make allowance for each
other's fault, and so I hopethat blesses you today.
It was just on my heart and Iwanted to share it.
(02:38):
So I have had this question acouple times in different
versions, and I want to say thelatest version because this is
the one that came through mostrecently.
Here's what it was my 12 yearold son is spending so much
money on Fortnite.
He wants gift cards forbirthdays and holidays.
(03:00):
I'm freaking out because I feellike it's such a waste of money
for online stuff.
Why am I so uneasy?
Is this okay?
Is it normal?
This is a great question.
I want to say to you.
I assume your 12-year-old isyour first child and it's the
first time you're walkingthrough this.
This is normal.
(03:21):
I have a son and he used to be agamer.
I mean, he still is, but heused to really be a gamer and he
loved Fortnite.
He loved it, and so he was thesame as your son.
He would want gift cards forbirthdays, christmas.
All of that was asked forV-Bucks.
Most of the time, he wouldspend his money on what's called
(03:45):
skins and you can buy weaponsto emotes or a thing where you
can buy it.
Those are like dances that youcan buy, and so they're buying
things to kind of accessorizetheir character.
Now, I remember when this firststarted happening with him.
I was uneasy about it too,because I'm like online, what in
(04:06):
the world?
Like I have to understand this.
I would ask him what do youwant to buy with it?
And he would sit down and showme the dances he would want to
buy the skins he would want tobuy and that sort of thing.
As he showed me those things,you know what I envisioned in my
mind Build-A-Bear.
I don't know where, that'swhere my mind went, but you
remember when we used to takeour kids to build I mean, some
people still do you take yourkids to Build-A-Bear and they
(04:28):
get different outfits for thebear.
That's what it is.
You're buying a skin, adifferent outfit for your online
character, and so I know itfeels weird, but that's kind of
like their virtual world howthey're doing it.
So I don't think there'snecessarily anything wrong with
it.
Now there could beinappropriate skins you don't
want them having, orinappropriate dances or
something like that.
That's a different conversation, but generally, I think that we
(04:52):
need to look at it that way.
You also need to be thinkingabout you don't want your kid to
waste money, because I rememberwe had a ton of those outfits
laying around that they neverchanged the bear's clothes, and
so at that time I would starttalking to my kid about saving
money, not being wasteful.
I would start explaining thevalue of what things cost, and I
(05:13):
think you should be doing thattoo, at 12 years old.
So when you go out to dinner,they need to know this is how
much dinner costs tonight.
Equate the money that you'respending on things to what
they're spending money on online.
So this would cost how much forthat skin.
They need to understand thevalue of the money.
If your bank account allows youto open up a child bank account
(05:36):
, do that Invest.
This is when my son, when hefirst started using V-Bucks all
the time and I wanted him tounderstand the value of a dollar
and I'm okay with you buying askin, but I don't want you
wasting money Like are you goingto use this skin, is it going
to be useful or are you justcollecting all of these and
they're just sitting there andit's a waste of money.
So I started talking to himabout investing.
(05:58):
We bought his first stock forhim because I wanted him to see
how it could grow over time andthat way he's understanding that
.
Also, like with chores in ourhouse and I know this is like
you think this was a questionabout V-Bucks but this matters
because you're wanting them tothink about how they're spending
their money.
You want them to be responsibleand instead of just saying no
(06:21):
and shutting it down.
We want to counter that withsome education on what else you
could be spending your money on.
With his chores at home, he hasto do certain things that he
doesn't get money for, likegeneral stuff Put away your
laundry, you know.
Keep your, you know, keep themain area cleaned up with your
clothes and stuff like that.
Like like you got to beresponsible for certain things
(06:42):
unloading the dishwasher.
That's just part of you being apart of this family and
contributing to the families, tothe family unit.
He could also do other thingsthat were extra to make money.
And so say, he mowed the yardor he dusted my baseboards or
stuff like that, that heactually earned money.
(07:02):
Then have the conversation withhim Wow, you earned $30, but
how long did it take you?
Four hours.
Well, are you going to spendall of that on one skin?
With one click of a button andit's gone.
So that way they're justunderstanding the value of the
dollar.
I think that's the biggerconversation that can also help
(07:23):
them see why they want to spendtheir money on V-Bucks, but I
wouldn't ban it.
I mean, I feel like it's justpart of their culture growing up
.
They're buying the skins onlineversus us going into a store
and buying something.
We just have to have thatcontext of the value of a dollar
and let's not waste the money.
Another thing that I just wantto say is, if you are like, ooh,
(07:46):
I would like to start investing, or whatever, and you're new to
that space to resources, that Ilove, that I watch regularly,
is the Dave Ramsey show and thenalso the money guys both really
good information.
Of course, my son at 12 wouldnot sit through one of those
podcasts, but sometimes theyshare screenshots or whatever,
(08:08):
and I would.
I would shoot, you know, take apicture of a screenshot of
something on the podcast andthen maybe that's a conversation
at dinner.
You know, if you invest thismuch money every month, starting
at 25, this is how much you'regonna retire with.
Just again, getting them tothink outside of their little
virtual world of VBOTS.
I think that's really important.
(08:28):
I hope this is helpful.
Make a donation today atnexttalkorg.
This podcast is not intended toreplace the advice of a trained
healthcare or legalprofessional, or to diagnose,
treat or otherwise render expertadvice regarding any type of
medical, psychological or legalproblem.
Listeners are advised toconsult a qualified expert for
treatment.
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