The Chrisley's Are Going To Jail, T-Swift Tickets + Relationship Talk!

In this weeks episode we have a little pop culture chat and dive into our personal experiences with romantic relationships. From red flags to our attachment styles, we cover it all and share what we have learned about love in the process.

Episode Transcript

(00:07):
That song.
Oh yeah.
Hey, cry Babies back for weektwo, back again.
We are, we are.
We're back.
Yeah, we have been by beingtoday.
Today we've been knocking outcontent.
Yeah.
So we've gotta get better micsthough.
These mics are just, yeah.
Katie was stressing before this.

(00:27):
Y'all It was just in a horriblemood.
So hopefully this puts me in alittle bit.
Yeah.
Of a better mood.
She's fine now cause we got aworking.
But yeah.
Welcome to the pod.
Annoying.
Welcome.
Welcome everybody.
We're putting negativity out.
Positivity in.
Positivity in.
And we're gonna start, I knowyou said you had a question.
Oh yeah.
I do have a question before weget into our little pop culture

(00:49):
talk cuz we got some things totalk about.
Um, I have a question.
Okay.
What?
I'm nervous.
It's something to be nervousabout.
I'm just honestly being reallydramatic about it.
Okay, go for it.
So have, is there anything thatyou've lost lately and you can't
find it and it's just reallyfrustrating?
Oh, a hundred percent.

(01:09):
Really?
Yeah.
Okay, so I've been looking forthese hair clips.
I bought Okay, y'all, just aback story.
She made this sound so serious.
Like, she was like, I have areally important question.
I was like, are you, I literallyasked her, I was like, are you
mad at me?
Like, what's going on?
The reason why is because I wassitting there getting dressed to
come over here so we could film,and I wanted to do like my hair

(01:32):
clips in my hair, like on thesides.
Wouldn't that be cute?
Yeah, that would make, yeah, andI still haven't been able to
find them.
I went to Nordstrom Mac weeksago at this point, and I still
can't find them.
I cannot find them.
They're the cutest, most minimallooking hair clips.
They're like big silver likehair clips.
Ooh, you just slide them in.

(01:52):
I've been wanting to like doyour makeup and stuff.
No, they're like actual hairaccessories that you can wear.
Like, oh shoot.
I want the ones that you clipback so you can do your hair.
You know how everyone has those?
I've been trying to find them.
I don't, Katie, I can't find myhair accessories.
I'm sorry.
She's like, oh, No, like back tome actually.
Oh, I want my hair clips so bad.
And the Nordstrom Mac bag.

(02:14):
I'm afraid to throw it awaybecause I feel like they're in
there.
But I've checked Have you checka million times.
It's your, it's time to throw itaway.
I'm pissed.
Really?
Time to throw it away.
Cause they're so cute.
But anyways guys, that's sad.
I'm sorry.
I know, I know.
It's kind of, off topic to whatwe're actually gonna talk.
But, but we've got some popculture things.
So you do, let's start withfraud, and jail.

(02:37):
Let's talk about fraud.
Eva, what's their name in thechrisleys?
The Chrisleys.
Todd and Julie.
Christs listen though, I don'tthink, I think they should have
gone to jail for longer.
You really?
I think they got out clean 12and seven years.
Yeah.
Why did, do you know why shegot, why she don't?
Cause they're, cause we weremarried.
Don't know anything about thesituation.
We don't really know that much.

(02:57):
Yeah.
I don't think either one of usreally knows.
We just smart.
I'm not smart.
I don't know They're just twosilly, goofy girls just talking
about pop culture.
Okay.
Literally, I, okay.
Well, the thing that I heardabout a couple days ago was that
it was going to be like 22years, like that he was gonna
get 22 years and then only got12 and the, she was trying to

(03:18):
literally tell them, No, theydidn't mean to.
And it's like, uh, you skippedthat on like seven years of
taxes.
Hashtag tax evasion.
You are avoiding paying yourtaxes.
Okay.
You know what I was thinkingthough?
I was like, not me sweating likemy hundred dollars like the IRS
is gonna give me.
And I thought they're gonna givemen literally they don't give a

(03:39):
shit about, they're like, what'shappen?
We should care about themillions that are not getting
paid.
Right, exactly.
Like$500.
It's like a lot too.
It's like five years, I thinklike$20 million in tax even.
I don't think it was just thatthough.
I think they were doing likefraudulent banker stuff too.
Yeah.
Wow.
Cause I know Julie is servingseven and he's serving 12.

(04:01):
I know, I She actually did alot.
Or if she's just like part ofthe crime because she's, yeah.
Well cuz like, so, you know, I'mlike a real housewives like
stand and so in the RealHousewives of New Jersey years
ago, this was a while ago.
At this point, Teresa.
From that franchise went tojail.

(04:24):
No.
And her husband also likeaccomplished.
She served time.
She served time basically forhim.
His his like mess.
I'd be so mad.
Yeah.
And so, and you know I'm snitch.
That's my favorite.
But I mean, she's so loyal.
Like she's snitch.
I love her.
I'm like, this is a, there, wellactually I don't even know her
actual last name now cuz she'smarried, remarried, but a big

(04:47):
fan.
fake fan.
You're not a true fan.
Um, but yeah, like she just wasthe dotting wife, really loyal,
taking care of the kids and shewould just like sign up it and
like, and she ended up going tojail and missing and yeah.
And I think her parentsactually.
Like, I don't know if it was hermom or her dad or one of her

(05:08):
parents actually passed awaywhile she was in prison.
Oh, that's sad.
I was thinking about it and Iwas like, his kids I think are
older.
I don't, I literally don't know.
He has two that are minorsstill, Grayson and Chloe.
So you know more than me.
I have no idea.
Yeah.
But it makes me sad cuz I'mlike, think about all the
Christmas like family gathering.
They seem a really tight knitfamily.
12 years, you don't get.
data model and like again, theyalso did some shit, but also

(05:32):
like, because they're famous, Iwonder if they're gonna get like
some kind of deal where that'snot gonna actually be what they
serve.
That's what I think too, becausethat's a lot.
I heard they had to be on parolethough after for like three
years.
Yeah, but I wonder if they're,someone's gonna, is it called
post bail?
What?
What's the word?
I don't know.
Like bond them out.
We don't know.
Like bail them out.
We just sound like bond.

(05:52):
I'm such a liar now.
I mean by lawyer friend to comeand tell me.
We do.
Yeah, so we wanted to like chatabout that a little bit, even
though we literally have no ideawhat we're talking about.
But the next thing we want talkabout and is for my dear friend,
my Katie girl.
I actually have my hand in thebucket on this one.
Yeah, she's a, she's a swifty.
You guys, I'm not much of aswifty, but my dear friend talk

(06:15):
about it.
Here's the tea.
Yeah.
I had somebody.
She said, Hey, you wanna come?
I said, yes, we'll meet in inAtlanta, Georgia.
I said, beautiful.
And literally we got the presaleand I think someone waited in
line for seven hours, like afriend of a friend.
And literally we were on thewebsite getting the ticket, like
we thought we'd gotten tickets.
I'd Venmo her, I was like,here's my money.

(06:36):
Take it.
Because we all thought that shehad gotten the tickets and she
literally was like, no, that wasthe website before.
It's like confirmed.
And someone had gotten thetickets that we wanted and then
we were gonna do the CapitalOne.
Literally waited in line for twohours, didn't even get in.
Or maybe even longer than twohours.
And then literally the next daywe were like, okay, on Friday

(06:56):
we're gonna do the general sale.
No, literally Ticketmaster comesout and it's like, sorry, no
sale.
Like we sold all the tickets,which I heard.
And that was a presale.
Yes.
So that was like the people thatgot the Capital One access,
people would literally go thecredit card.
Credit card and they publicsale.
Yeah.
They got the credit card just toget the ticket.
Like, to just try and get, cuzCapital One offered it to like
all of their people.

(07:18):
Yeah.
Um, I'm a, a little bit hurt,but it's fine.
Mm-hmm.
I don't, I'm not like obsessedwith this album currently, but
because it's gonna be like anERA'S tour, the kind of tour it
is.
Yeah.
Where it's like all of heralbums, I love multiple of them,
so I know I would love this tourand I I do really like, like the
hits off this album.
Yeah.
And a few others, but I was justlike, awesome.

(07:40):
Not people waiting in line.
That's crazy.
Shook.
That's so crazy.
I mean, there was so many peoplethat like, I know, like when I
got on my Instagram, theirstories were just like, just
like they were waiting andwaiting and waiting for tickets.
And then I was on Twitter and Iwas just like, did you see what
she posted?
I saw that, but this was beforeshe even posted that, oh yeah,

(08:02):
I'm seeing the prices of thisstuff.
And I'm like, it's ridiculous.
What the hell is happening rightnow?
I think she's really mad atTicketmaster probably because
she was like, uh, we, she saidin her, I don't know if she
tweeted it or Instagram, but shewas like, we asked them multiple
times if they could handle thiscapacity and they were like,
yeah, yeah, it's fine.
And I saw tweets to take amaster that was like, you had

(08:24):
one job, literally one job is tosell tickets and you can't even
do that.
No.
I'm like, awesome.
Great.
Yeah.
Just a dark, dark day in theSwifty universe.
It really is.
Should we do our, should we kickoff a relationship one with
seeing if things are greenflags?
Yeah.
Or red flags.
Yeah.
So Katie has a little somethingsomething before we hop.
I have a little game.

(08:44):
And I'm gonna read them andwe're just gonna say if it's
like a green flag or a red flag.
Okay.
Okay.
Um, texting you all day.
It's a green flag.
I think that's a green flag.
I think if it's in the beginningit's like, uh, yeah.
So, but things are giving methe, I way more motivated.
That's, yeah.
So like, I love that you saidthat because.
In the beginning stages ofrelationships.

(09:06):
Yeah.
I'm definitely a girl that getsturned off by like feeling like
you're laying on a little toothick.
See, and I, I wanna be lovebombed Yeah.
But, but now I don't.
Yeah.
Like past me loved like, yeah.
If you are like, obsessed withme, amazing.
Now I'm kind of like this so funbecause it's like you're
starting over on like, startinglike who you are romantically

(09:28):
and like I'm scared.
scared.
It's terrifying.
Girl.
I'm scared too.
And I'm, for me in a whole, no.
Oh, just in a whole, I thinkyou're gonna be just fine
sister.
She's a hot commodity.
I'm not gonna go into it, butgonna be spill the tea, but I
think not gonna spill too muchtea.
We're just gonna drop a littlebit of drops on the table and
spill.
And y'all can figure out therest.
Giving small gifts early on inthe dating stages.

(09:51):
I think that's green box.
I think if it's small gifts,yes.
I think it depends on what kindof relationship we're talking
about.
Like if this is clearly like a,like a sugar daddy situation
that's very different.
No, I think it really is.
Like you're just like in theearly dating stage, let's say
less than six months.
Yeah.
I mean I think, I think thatone's kind of hard to say,

(10:13):
whether it's a green or a red.
Oh, really?
The gifts.
Yeah.
Uh, you, you can gimme giftsbecause who wouldn't who, who
wouldn't like want gifts?
No.
Yeah.
But I also think too I thoughtyou were gonna say that's a red
flag.
It can be, yeah.
It's definitely situation, butit's a small gift.
So I'm thinking like, oh, I washere and I thought about you and

(10:34):
got you this, and it really justof like the person I am, I'm
really suspicious and you are sosuspicious.
I'm like, I'm way too naive.
I'm like, are you doing this?
To like control me and say like,if that is back in my face,
like, why are you doing this?
Yeah.
Y'all, yeah, I'm not, I'm, I'm,I'm a tough cookie.
In the beginning ofrelationships, I kind of feel
like, I feel like Corey wentback to the, I say sorry to your

(10:56):
boyfriend.
I feel like he But yeah.
So asking to hang out more thantwice a week, I think that's a
green flag.
That's, I think if you're notasking me to hang out, why are
we dating?
Yeah, that's, and it didnt saywhen in the relationship it was.
So it's like, that's a greenflag.
That's a green flag.
What?
Um, yeah, this one is callingyou mine.
Like if someone's like, oh,you're mine.

(11:17):
I like that.
Oh, okay.
I think, I think, I don't like,that's my, I don't know.
I think it can be kind of cute.
Maybe if you've been dating fora while.
Yeah.
Um.
But I think in the beginningit'd give me ick now.
Like I think I'd be like it, I'mnot yours.
Me right now.
Like I am my own person.
You know what I mean?

(11:37):
Like I think that would gimmethe ick now.
But I think in like a long termrelationship, I think that's
cute.
Yeah.
Kinda shows you still care andlike you still are really loving
that person, you know?
Well, cuz I want someone that,you know, I want them to be just
as confident in themselves andlike when they're telling me how
they feel and whatever.
So I'm like, lay it on me.

(11:59):
Tell me.
But like also like, don't lay iton me cuz like, I don't know,
that's kind of contradictory.
But don't do too much.
Just don't.
Okay.
Introducing you to their friendsand family within the first six
months of dating.
I think that's okay.
I think that's okay.
I think it's kind of good to seeat least friends.
Like who, especially friends.
Who are you hanging out with?
Like who's your circle?

(12:19):
Cause your circle's gonna becomemy circle.
Mm-hmm.
So who are we?
Agreed.
What's going on here?
Agreed.
I think family's okay too.
I mean, I think if you're justlike.
Going over for a casual dinneror like going out to eat and
meeting them or something.
I think meeting them a coupletimes is fine.
Cause I mean, but some people,like for me, I, my mom has met

(12:39):
everyone that I've dated.
Yeah.
Been in an actual relationshipwith.
Um, so like as far as her, Ijust trust her judgment.
So it can be someone that like,like I wasn't really that
serious about like my baby'srelationship.
I was just like, okay, like Ithink he's cute.
We're hanging out.
Like he was not it.
No, he wasn't.

(13:00):
He wasn't.
But you know, no hard feelingsbut just, he just wasn't.
But I made my mom meet him causeI'm like, I've been hanging out
with him, I've been going to hisplace.
Like yeah.
I think that's smart for Yeah,sure.
But as far as me, I never evenmet him.
I'm sorry.
They're not wasting my time anddoing that.
Cause I don't have time for myfamily to be like, well where's
so and so?
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
It's not your business actually.

(13:21):
Exactly.
Um, consistently seeing atherapist.
I think that is the biggestscreen flag.
That's dream.
Yeah.
But that's the biggest screenflag I could ever receive.
That's a dream.
And if we go together, like ifwe're like engaged or something
going together that it'd marryme right now.
So do you think, like even justfrom the jump, like you think
it's good to just have atherapist?

(13:43):
What do you mean?
From the jump?
Oh, from like the get-go?
Yes.
Yes.
Really.
I mean, I think that if they'realready going on their own, I'm
like, uh, a staple king.
Love to see it.
Yeah.
But I don't know a single guythat just goes on his own.
I don't necessarily either.
I'm like, even though, can y'allstart?
Wait, do I, can y'all startgoing?
Or I, I do know that one of, I'mnot go into super like, detail

(14:07):
or anything, but I, I do know aguy.
Has said like, you know what, Ithink I'm gonna work on myself
and go to therapy and like startsaying that.
That's beautiful.
And even then I'm like, pop offcan pop off.
We love a stable key.
Exactly.
So trying to work on themselves,which, I mean I feel like a lot
of guys unfortunately don't No.
Say things like that, but he hasso we love it.

(14:30):
Talking about making long termplans with you early on, no.
Mm-hmm.
That happened in my lastrelationship.
I think literally the first datehe said, uh, we're gonna go on a
cruise.
Have you been on a cruise?
We're gonna go on one first todate.
Really?
No.
Tino Shade.
Yeah.
And I mean, we did go on one,eight months later.
We went on one.
But it's like, I think that itwas just really fast, I think.
Yeah.

(14:51):
So that can be definitely a redflag.
Yeah, I think so too.
Um, wanting to share locations.
I think, again, that's justdependent on what stage you're
in.
Exactly.
And you've been dating for ifyou're like mar or not married,
but if you're like dating andlive together.
Yeah.
And they just wanna know like.
I've shared locations before.
Yeah.
Do you know at what point thatwas that you started sharing
locations?

(15:11):
Cause I think I rememberactually when I did, no, when
Corey and I started Oh, I waslike, what?
No.
Um, I think it was when we, Idon't actually know.
I feel like it was like a yearinto it.
Maybe.
Maybe six months.
Our relationship moved fastthough.
It did.
Your relationship did move fast.
So I don't know because we livedtogether, I was gonna say when

(15:32):
we lived together, but that wasabout a month into staying.
So I'm like, uh, yeah, I'm notsure.
I think I wanna say it's when welike officially moved into a
house together, but I don'tremember really?
Yeah, I don't remember.
Yeah.
Cory and I started sharinglocations, I wanna say about six
months into our relationship.

(15:52):
Okay.
And it wasn't like, and nothinghappened.
It's more of like a safetything, I think.
Right.
Well, he had said something.
It was being funny.
And I was like, oh, like whynot?
Like, let me see your location.
Yeah.
so I kind of like slid that inthere.
He was like, okay, likewhatever.
And then we just had ourlocations, each other's location
since.
So I mean, I think it's a safetything for sure.

(16:13):
For sure.
Absolutely.
I think if you're like, I thinkme now would wait until I've
moved in with the person againand that would be a while.
You know what I mean?
For sure.
So it's like, you don't need toknow my location.
Like, like if it's like a couplemonths, you could still be about
it.
Several.
That's that's very true.
Like very true.
making a point to plan all yourdates.
That's agreed.
If I doing it, wait, wait.

(16:36):
If they're making a point readagain, making a point to plan
all your dates, I think that's agreen flag.
And I think it's just by somevice versa or whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's a green flag.
Of course.
Of course.
Um, calling you multiple times aday.
Why are you doing that?
Like Cory can literally call mewhenever.
I think that'd give me peopleand I would answer.

(16:56):
Yeah.
I think it'd be like why we'vebeen together for like, like
okay.
Three years versus like thinkingof more first together.
Why are you doing that?
Yeah.
If someone's doing that in thebeginning, a lot of these are
like, its in the beginning andthen as you're like 3, 4, 2, 3,
4 years.
But by you, you know how it is.
Like habits when you've beentogether.

(17:17):
Yeah.
Are just like, we've, there'sbeen days where Corey and I,
like we, we do talk every singleday.
Yeah.
Sometimes just because both ofus working.
Yeah.
We'll, we'll get texts.
Well, and y'all don't livetogether.
We, we don't live together.
And so like, it'll be very offand on some days it's like,
gosh, I haven't talked to himsince this morning.
And then at night, we'llFaceTime whatever.

(17:39):
and some days it's like, we're,I'm having to FaceTime him like
however many times.
But I mean, I'm with him like alot, even though we don't live
together.
So it's also, yeah, like yousaid, it's hard in the
beginning.
Don't be doing that.
No, not at all.
Like please don't, I'm not aclingy type person.
So that's the other thing.

(18:00):
Like that would just rub me thewrong way.
I couldn't handle it.
I'm trying to not be a clingytype person.
Yeah.
But that doesn't mean like,don't be like affectionate.
Like I don't think you shouldfocus on like trying to not be
how you have been necessarily.
Cause there's nothing wrong withthat.
Cause you could find someonethat loves that.

(18:21):
Ah, you know, that's sweet.
Something I do well.
Okay.
Do we wanna share backgrounds ofYeah.
Who we like?
I don't know.
Yeah, go for it.
Pop off.
Need to go first.
I don't care.
I can go.
You can go.
It really does not matter to me.
Okay.
Well, so I guess relationshiphistory wise, I've had.
two relationships, including theone that I have right now.

(18:43):
Yeah.
First one.
It literally lasted four months.
Four Wallaces.
Yeah, it was four months.
Wow.
And he was gone for half of themcuz he was in the Air Force.
Air Force Boy.
So, yeah.
And honestly, full transparencyhere.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, I'd love to hear it.
What?

(19:04):
I knew he wasn't it for me.
Yeah, I knew that.
I think you're excited thoughcuz it was your first
relationship.
It was my first like seriouslike relationship.
Mm-hmm.
not that I hadn't talked to guysbefore because I had, I was on a
dating app before I had met himand even after that relationship
I was on a dating app.
Yeah.
same dating app or just Yeah, itwas the same one.

(19:25):
Okay.
and just, I love the attentiontalking to several guys.
And like you do something aboutLauren that I told her is like,
literally a guy will say like,oh, I think you're so, or
anyone, anyone could say, Ithink you're so pretty.
And she's like, yeah, I know.
But thanks.
I'm like, that's awesome.
And I literally, I strive, I gotthat from my mama I didn't hang

(19:46):
out with her more.
I'm like, I need know how to dothat.
That's what happens when yougrow up and your mother
literally sings to you almostevery night and says, you are so
me, can't you see?
Okay.
That's very sweet.
That's, I feel like that'sseriously where I get that from.
But no, I loved the attentionfrom that, but then he just

(20:06):
stood out of like the pool ofguys I was talking to at the
time and we met, we were hangingout, loved hanging out with him.
Yeah.
And my brain hadn't like, got tothe point where I was like, I
wanna be in a relationship withhim.
It was, I like getting to knowthis person.

(20:26):
Oh, I didn't know that.
Going on dates with this person.
Yeah.
I like hanging out with him andgetting to know him.
Yeah.
And when he had asked meinitially to be, His girlfriend.
I was just like, no.
Like no, but I still likegetting to know you.
And it wasn't that, I didn't, Ididn't know you said that to
him.
I don't remember you saying thatto him.
Yeah, I said, I said no.

(20:46):
Oh.
He asked me like two or threetimes to be his girlfriend
before I said yes.
I had no idea.
Yeah.
Pop off.
Yeah.
And I finally was like, fine.
Like, quit asking me.
And that's like you guys, that'swhen you know it probably.
That's so stupid.
Yeah.
That's so stupid.
And it was a short relationshipto say the least well, wasn't he

(21:09):
doing some things overseas?
Yeah.
Like I'm, yeah, he was, he wasnot faithful, so Hmm.
Loved to see that.
Yeah.
And, and, but even then though,I think I just was over it so
fast.
Yeah.
You honestly got over it in twoweeks.
Two weeks, yep.
Ease.
I, I, I know it was two weeks.
I was mad about it, but then Iwas just like, okay.

(21:32):
Well yeah.
Back to the date So then howlong between him and your now
current did you We, so like whenhe and I broke up July of 2018,
I think.
And then, yeah.
And then Corey and I startedtalking in December of that

(21:55):
year.
Wow.
And we were in a That's insane.
Yeah.
And we were in a relationship bythe following February.
That is insane.
Yeah.
Yep.
Do you think you have anattachment style?
Well, everyone has an attachmentstyle, but do you know about
those and like how they Yeah,I've, um, I haven't gotten into

(22:16):
them on a, like for mepersonally, you probably know a
lot more about them Yeah.
Than I do.
Well, there's a book calledAttached I really want to read.
Mm-hmm.
But the last time I really wasinto it was when I was in
college still.
Mm-hmm.
and I took, um, a Psychology ofRelationships class and we Oh, I
love that.
And we talked about that.
So it's been years since Ireally got into it, but I'm not,

(22:37):
I don't know what style I am.
I've never taken like a quiz oranything.
There's like secure, avoidantand anxious.
What do you think?
I mean, I think you're secure.
Truly.
Really?
You might lean towards avoidantwhen you're like real, like
something is really making youupset.
Yeah.
But like, okay.
When you're upset, like anxious.
I know I'm anxious.
Yeah.
Anxious will a hundred percentclinging to the person want to
fix it.

(22:57):
Like, you know, don't leave me.
And then avoidance, I've gottago see ya.
And then secure is just like,can handle it.
Like, okay, let's talk itthrough.
Okay.
So that's a good point to make.
I think that's a really goodread on me because.
The thing about Corey and Imm-hmm.
on our relationship, um, becauseof his previous situation before

(23:19):
he was with me.
and I'm not gonna get into likeall that cause that's his
business.
Yeah.
But, he kind of, he was hurt.
Yeah.
Whenever we met.
And it was almost like he camein with rules, kind of like with
rules.
Yeah.
It was, that's what it, it justfelt like he kind of had like,
listen, like his, his guard wasup.
Yeah.

(23:40):
His wall was up.
And I was just like, in my headI'm like, I'm feeling this guy.
Like, we hung out the firsttime.
I was like, that's gonna be myboyfriend.
Yeah.
I didn't even like told himthat.
Like, I don't even think I hadactually said I had such a good
time on that day.
Where'd you guys go on yourfirst date?
we went to church Wait, that'sgiving me life.
We went to church.

(24:00):
I have no idea.
Yeah, we went to church and thenwe went to eat at some Mexican
restaurant and I wanna go tochurch on my first, next, first
date.
Yeah.
so we went to church because wewere trying to figure out a time
to hang out.
That's ad horrible.
A Sunday was the only day Weboth were like, neither one of
us had been to church, so wewent to church and then we went
to wait.

(24:21):
That's amazing.
And then I went to work thatafternoon and I immediately was
just like, yeah.
Did we work together then?
Uh, no, this was after.
Oh yeah.
Yep.
That makes sense.
And um, yeah, I literally gothome and I was like, mom, that's
my boyfriend.
Like, I know it's my boyfriend,whatever, And then he friends

(24:42):
me.
Oh, love to see it.
King Corey.
I know.
I like.
Um, for me, but, um, yeah.
So only for a bit?
Yeah.
For a little bit.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but to get back to the, theattachment style thing, he had
told me like, Hey, when we haveproblems, I can't do like the,
basically like he, he was like,we're not about to avoid it.

(25:05):
We just wanna, we're gonna dealwith it.
Yeah.
And I don't even wanna talkabout it over text.
He was like, if we have aproblem, we're gonna FaceTime or
talk in person.
I love that.
He, yes.
I was like, that was veryupfront.
That's very mature.
I was like, okay.
Mind you, previous to that, Iwas, I am like queen of silent
treatment, acting like you don'texist.

(25:26):
Mm-hmm.
You are the scum of the dirt onthe bottom of my shoe.
That kind of person.
Then it was very like, final andjust like, this is what, how
it's gonna be, and if you're notgonna be that way, I can't do
this.
And I was like, Okay.
So definitely can't do that inthis relationship.
So I feel like now I'm a lotbetter about confronting Yeah.

(25:48):
Things and a lot more secure.
But I think I can still beavoidant and like delaying
talking about certain things andlike whatever.
It's kind of what I saying,like, I feel like you're pretty
secure.
But I feel like, yeah, if it'sreally bad or I don't know, if
you're really upset, then it'slike not gonna talk about it.
He, cuz I will sit there and myjaw will just be like, so tight
and like locked.
I'm pissed, he just wants totalk about it and like, just

(26:08):
work it out.
Like, we don't like being mad ateach other.
Yeah.
Like I, I, I really don't, it'suncomfortable just because of
the way our relationship is.
Yeah.
It's very just like, we goofaround a lot.
We make fun of each other.
We just talk shit.
Like, I love, it's the bestrelationship though.
I love that about it.
And so when we have things totalk about, I think we're both
kind of like, can we just liketalk about this?

(26:30):
So like, don't have to deal withlike that's, yeah.
So that's.
that's my friend.
You know, she read that so well.
I think that is so, I feel likethat's one thing you've kind of
learned throughout thisrelationship.
Do you feel like there'sanything else that you've, you
know, gotten better at orrealized like, oh, I cannot be
doing this in this relationship.
Like, do you feel like you'velearned anything from mm-hmm.

(26:52):
being with him?
Definitely.
Like, I think I've definitelysolidified my love languages
too.
And like What's your top two?
My top two.
So my top one's definitely actsof service.
I think my second one's likegifts.
Oh, okay.
Because I really like when itjust like small stuff, like this

(27:16):
is my lowest of low, really Solike me, it's just, it really
like small things.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know if this fallsunder gifts.
Maybe it does.
Um, but.
I'm a snob about water, forexample.
Like I just, I won't drink tapwater, like whatever.
Yeah.
And he will, like, if he goes toa gas station or whatever,
majority of the time he gets melike a bottle of water that I

(27:39):
really like.
Yeah.
And it really is the littlethings, especially when you've
been in a relationship for thatlong.
Yeah.
Or like remembering my orderfrom a place.
Oh, that's sweet.
Like, things like that.
Yeah.
I really like that.
and then just like he pumps mygas, like if he's in the car,
like if I'm with him, he pumpsmy gas.
I need that and Yeah.
And that's great.
just, I don't know.

(28:01):
And I realize like physicaltouch is something that like,
I've always like kind of had aproblem with that.
And him being a physical touchperson.
Yeah.
Like that's something I'm like,I have.
I have to be intentional too,like about things goes both ways
for sure.
Yeah.
Like I have to make it a point,like when I see him and I walk

(28:21):
through the door, like to givehim a kiss, give him a hug,
whatever, I'll be like, Hey,like what's up?
Like whatever.
You're like, what up?
Bye bye.
I'm like, no.
Literally ignores himcompletely.
Hi.
Yeah.
And so like that be reallyintentional about and like
that's literally with anything.
Cause even in my family I feellike, like me and my mom have a

(28:41):
close relationship, but likewe're not really physical touch
people.
Yeah.
I'm not like touchy feely.
No, I'm not touchy feely at all.
But when I want it, I want it.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, that makes sense.
So I would say that too andjust, um, I don't know, my
mindset's a lot differentbecause like we will get

(29:01):
married.
Like I feel very confident inthat.
And so just the way that I thinkis different cuz I'm like, no
idea haring on my finger rightnow.
But I just wanna be reallyintentional about.
Decisions that I make becauseyeah, we do plan on spending our
lives together a hundred percentvalue his opinion and stuff.

(29:22):
So that's different.
And like, I'm still selfish, butit's like I'm really selfish.
It's like everything's fine, butit makes you like really
reevaluate.
Yeah.
The certain things that youlike, the way that you thought
you wanted certain things to be.
It's like, okay, what?
Like, do I really want like tobuy a house?

(29:47):
Do I really want to have kids?
Do I really want like Yeah, itmakes you really Reva evaluate
everything.
Yeah.
Cause it's real.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh my gosh, like 100%.
We really sit and have like forreal conversations about the
future and it's just, that makesme so happy for you.
I feel like it's exciting, butat the same time I'm just like,
oh my God.
Like, like this is happening.
I don't believe that this isreally what's happening.
So yeah, that's just, I wouldsay that's kind of what.

(30:12):
has also changed.
Yeah.
About me too.
I love it, Brandon.
Yeah.
I feel like I've seen you grow alot in the last four years for
sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
Even just like the avoidant, um,kind of attachment style, even
with just, you know, work stuffor friendship stuff.
I feel like you've gotten a lotmore secure with like, sticking

(30:33):
up for yourself.
Exactly.
Cause like I just, I can be verylike, you know, I'm not gonna
say anything because it's justnot worth Yeah.
Causing any problems.
Like, I don't have time to likeget into this whatever.
But then like it's worse now.
Yeah.
It can be worse.
And it's like sometimes you haveto, you have to know when, okay,
like I need to actually likespeak up right now mm-hmm.

(30:54):
and actually say something cuzit's not okay and I can have
people treating me that way orlike, yeah, whatever.
So I definitely think, and Ithink like too, seeing like his
friend.
and like being a part of that.
Like they, it's just crazy to methey've been roommates for so
long.
I know.
That's so insane.
Yeah.
Just the fact that they allstill get along and do love

(31:14):
being roommates and they're alljust chill with each other is
really nice.
And it's really nice to like beable to fit into that.
It's so cool.
Yeah.
Y'all have a little group going.
We do.
We do.
Yeah.
It's a vibe.
I love it.
It's a vibe.
Yep.
So what about you, my friend?
Wow.
Um, well first to get married,first to get divorced.
Well, I make a lot of humorjokes because that's just how

(31:36):
you get through life, honestly.
I would say, I mean, I've beenin two relationships too, but
the first one, let's not evendive into that one because
that's just, we don't have todive too much at all.
Well, just, um, like first onewas just college relationship.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, second one was too, butI think the first thing I wanna
say with mine is like, I am try,I'm in my healing era mm-hmm.
and I'm trying to be veryintentional about like, my own

(31:58):
personal growth.
Mm-hmm.
So I never want.
What I say to seem like it's nota two-way street.
Right.
Because I did things for sure.
And that's kind of why I askabout attachment style because I
am anxious and I think he wasavoidant and those are the two
worst people to get together.
Yeah.
And I think both of us hadunhealed trauma.
Mm-hmm.
A hundred percent.

(32:19):
Mm-hmm.
So to me, I feel like I'vegrown, I think I've grown so
much, even just the short amountof time that I've been single.
Mm-hmm.
and like, you know, I don'tknow.
It's just insane.
I'm trying to read so manybooks.
Mm-hmm.
and listen to so many podcasts,just about, um, whatever it may
be.
And, you know, I've started my.

(32:39):
Like divorce TikTok, which I Ohmy gosh, love.
Yeah, she's like, almost at 10K, go follow me.
Aw.
I know.
And that's been such a blessingin this healing journey.
I will say though, like I wouldlove to touch on, if you don't
mind, just like the, you know,ending and just, I mean, for
anyone that's going through likea breakup or a divorce or

(32:59):
whatever, I'm just trying tolike help as many people because
there's so many of us.
Yes.
And you never know, you knowwhat I mean?
You like started sharing yourjourney.
Yeah.
And there's been such an outpourof like, people have popped off
and people that like have,you've like inspired, they don't
have anyone to like Yeah.
To heal or like to start theirown like little, you know, diary

(33:22):
I guess.
Yeah.
Little, little TikTok I wouldsay.
Like, my divorce was so fast andpeople told me that this was the
fastest divorce they've everheard of.
Yeah.
And so, I mean, all my friendsand family, like we all were
just kind of like, What, likewhat?
Just, I mean, I still tellpeople I feel like I'm in a
fever dream two months out.
Um, it'll be two months and alittle over two months.
It's only been two months.

(33:43):
Yes.
Which is insane.
The changes that have happenedare like changes that can happen
in a year, it seems like.
I know.
I was thinking, I was just like,all right.
Like I've told people I'm in myrecluse mode.
Like I'm just literally readingbooks, listening a podcast,
working out, like working on mycareer.
That's something I really wantto do.
Like I'd love to either write abook or start a blog about, you
know, just mainly divorce, but Idon't want it to just be about

(34:06):
divorce.
Um, I don't want like my life torevolve around divorce, but I do
think that this is, like, I'venever had a testimony before,
like, you know, you hear peopleat church that are like, this is
my testimony and I've alwaysbeen like, I don't have anything
to share.
Like I have nothing important toshare with people.
Yeah.
And now I finally feel like, oh,like this sucks, but like, God,
is this what you're putting inmy life?

(34:26):
Like, is this part of thereason?
Because I feel like, I mean,I've gone to divorce care
groups.
I'm the youngest one by 30years.
20 or 30 years in these groups.
Yeah.
And it's like awesome.
Yeah.
Like there's nothing for 20 yearolds.
Do you wanna kind of talk abouthow like I know at first, cuz
whenever things first happenedYeah.
And like you started talking tome about it, whatever.

(34:49):
Yeah.
Which was so heartbreaking on mypart.
Cause I was just like, I justreally peed for you and just as
a friend.
Yeah.
That like, people werelegitimately concerned for me
Cause like Well and like, likeyou said, like you, you, I know
you had shared that you justwere so embarrassed at like, I
was embarrassed being, yeah, I'm24 and I'm divorced and I'm

(35:10):
like, I, and I didn't know howto help you.
Like the best I can do islisten.
Yeah.
A lot of people don't.
Cause I'm like, I have no ideawhat even to say.
Well, and I downplayed it a lot.
Like, I was like, oh, it's justa breakup.
It's just a breakup.
No, it's a divorce.
Like let's act like it was adivorce and like I can be.
Like, I wanted to relate topeople.
Mm-hmm.
like, oh, well what did you doin this breakup?

(35:30):
All right.
It's not the same thing.
It can, it can be as close tothe same thing as we wanna make
it, but it's not the same thing.
Like, there are logisticsinvolved when you're divorced.
Well, and that's why like, youhaving this community that
you've found on TikTok is reallyhelpful because like being able
to relate to people is really ahuge part, I think of the human

(35:52):
experience because it is, ourwalks of life are so different.
Even if they look really similaron the outside, the, when you
get down to the nitty gritty, itcan be very just different and
unique to the person.
So, and, and I think that'sreally good that you found
people that like you can get onthere.
Do a video, whatever, and thenyou go look at the comments and

(36:14):
it's like, it's so uplifting.
That's crazy.
I know.
I, I just listened to a JaySheti podcast with Susan Crane.
I think she's a psychologistmaybe, but mm-hmm.
And that is one thing, like ifyou're going through a hard
time, go, please go listen tothe Jay Sheti podcast, because
that has been, I would say sinceI started listening to that,
I've seen the most growth inlike, who I am.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, there are a couplethings I wanna touch on, but one

(36:36):
is that I listened to thatpodcast and she was talking
about the number one way to healis through connection.
And I loved that because I, Ilistened to that one maybe three
days ago and I was like, holyshit.
Like, that's what I'm trying todo.
That's what I'm trying to build.
It's just connection.
So what you said, like the humanexperience, I think we have to
lean on connection and I was soembarrassed.
I still do feel like a burden toa lot of people.
Yeah.
Yeah.

(36:56):
because I mean, I've, I stayedat, I stayed at a couple
people's houses over and overand over.
Yeah.
And they always welcomed me withopen arms, like, but I think
that, like that anxiousattachment style you have helped
you.
In a sense because once yourwhole life was flipped on its
head.
Yeah.
And it was like, okay, like whatwas home is not home anymore.

(37:20):
Yeah.
You ran to your friends, yourfamily.
I did.
And there's nothing wrong withthat.
That's what we should do.
Mm-hmm.
And again, it goes back to howour styles are very different.
Yeah.
Cause I can be very avoidant.
Well, and I've talked to peopletoo that are like, if it was me,
I would've laid in bed all day.
I would've laid in bed.
I literally would just rot inbed.
I would, I, that's what I woulddo.

(37:42):
And like I have done that whenI've been depressed.
Mm-hmm.
and stuff like, cause I'vestruggled with that.
Yeah.
Um, which you didn't an episodeall about depression and like
anxiety.
Yeah.
So you both have struggled withthat?
Yeah, we definitely should.
Mm-hmm.
And like, I thought that thatwas totally normal.
Mm-hmm.
to just be in my room.
Hold up.
Yeah.
But then I realized, literallyleaving my room, give me like 10

(38:05):
minutes and I'm immediately justlike craving to like, Be back in
my space.
Really?
It was crazy.
Yes.
See, I have to go, like forwalks, I wanna be around people.
I do think to a certain pointI'm still like, I mean my
therapist called it healthydistraction.
Mm-hmm.
I do still think I'm probablylike maybe a little too booked
and busy, but I think that forhowever long that I can do this,

(38:27):
like, let's ride theproductivity.
Cuz for a while, I mean, whenyou first go through something
like this, I mean long termbreakup or divorce, I know I
said like, let's not compare,but I think that this part is
very similar is like when itfirst happens you are, you feel
like the ground has been rippedfrom underneath you.
Mm-hmm.
Like there's just no hope.

(38:47):
There's like, you have to justtrudge through it probably for a
month, like two weeks to amonth.
Like I was just, you know,crying all the time.
And I mean, I even cried lastnight, like literally like I
don't cry a lot, but I'll havelittle moments where I'm like,
That is sad.
Like that is sad that I had togo through, I literally looked
to myself in the mirror lastnight and I was like, I'm so

(39:08):
proud of you for everythingyou've done.
I, you know, pay a hundredpercent of the bills now.
It's like, that's insane.
So it's just, I was just like, Iam so proud of you.
But it does still feel like afever dream.
Like some days I'm like, there'sno way I got a divorce.
There's no way that I was evenmarried.
Yeah.
There's no way that I even datedthis guy.
It was a whirlwind.
It was a, I mean, everyone waslike, that is the fastest thing

(39:30):
we've ever heard of it.
Really?
And, and even like, to me, likeit does not feel real.
No, I know it doesn't becauselike, I was cool.
with him been like everyone wasliterally, I like, it literally
feels like you're talking aboutlike a stranger.

(39:51):
No, I, I like look at picturesnow and I'm like, I don't even
remember what we talked about.
Like that was only two monthsago.
But I don't know if my brain istrauma blacked out.
Yeah.
But like literally, I'm like, Idon't remember what we even said
to each other, like what wetalked about.
And it's not like we were justlike fight, fight, fight all the
time.
Yeah.
Like, I mean, maybe more than I,maybe you always fight a little

(40:11):
more than you actually thinkwhen you're in a relationship.
Yeah.
But it was like one big fightand then it was everything
crumbled for like two weeks andthen it was like, all right, I
want a divorce.
Yeah.
And it's like, whoa, this iscrazy.
And I think something I have torealize too is, you know, I was
someone who like picked, notpicked bites, but if we, you
know, got into a fight and verymuch like the anxious attachment

(40:33):
style where I'm like, let'sfigure out now.
I literally like wanted topummel him until we, like, not
physically actually, but youknow what I mean?
Like emotionally, like let's fixit, fix it, fix it.
And that just, that ruinsthings.
So I can't do that the next,that's something I'm like really
taking away is I've learned somuch about relationships now
through like therapy and like,so what, you know, these books,

(40:54):
so what does that mean then?
Like what's the, what's thehealthy part of that though?
Cause it's like you want to fixit.
I think you have to them spacefor as long.
Yes.
Like that's kind of what Okay.
I think, you know, my therapistwas like, you've got to, and I
couldn't, I don't know why, butsomething in me couldn't do it.
Like, if we got in fight, Icouldn't give him, I thought
every time we fought like, orhad a bigger fight, I thought

(41:17):
relationship over, like, I justwas not healed, I don't think.
Mm-hmm.
And I don't think he was either.
Yeah.
I mean, that's the thing islike, if I was, um, doing good
emotionally, then if we got intoa fight, I was more secure
securely fi.
Like we could securely fight,like, you know, it was more
calm, blah, blah, blah.
I got pretty depressed over thesummer and I think that's kind

(41:39):
of flared up.
Like I just like could nothandle our fights.
Like, cuz I think it'sdefinitely two-way street, but
I, I know the part that I playedin it, you know what I mean?
I don't know what he would sayabout it, you know, I don't know
what he, if he would say like,oh I did this wrong, but I'm
trying to come at it from a verymuch perspective of like, I did
this wrong and I know I did thiswrong.
Yeah.
Because I, I, you know, I thinkthat it's easy to think about,

(42:03):
oh my gosh, that person was soshitty to me, that person did X,
Y, and Z.
And it's like, okay, but firstof all, what did you do wrong?
Because it's two a street.
It's just crazy cuz you, like, Ithink you're starting to realize
now how well you're handling allof this.
Thank you friend, because you, Idon't know, people tell me that,
but I'm like, I'm not surebecause, because In the very

(42:26):
beginning of you.
Yeah.
Just being like, friend, like,like I'm upset.
Just like bawling her eyes outwhen I cried to her at a
restaurant.
Yes.
And I was just like, she waslike, I know this is serious.
Cuz I've only seen her cry likethis one other time.
Yeah.
And, and, and like you have notonce talk shit.
Thank you.

(42:46):
Said a bad thing about him.
Yeah.
Thank you.
And I can't say that I wouldhandle it so gracefully as you,
because I can be very likevindictive and very just like
vile about, like, it justsounds, it makes me sound like
so evil.
But yeah.
I'm not evil.
It's just that like, no, but Ithink that's the go too.
That's, it's like, Am I, anddon't get me wrong, I'm not an

(43:08):
angel.
I definitely said things to myfamily in the beginning where
I'm like, and I mean still, evenif I'm hear something or
whatever, I'm like, that is soBut your ability to take
accountability, your ability totake accountability, yeah.
Is just, I try to, because Ithink about it too.
I'm like, okay, he did this tome and like, if I'm not moving
forward, what am I doing?

(43:29):
I think that's what makes methink like, wow, you're doing so
well because of the way thingswent down.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I literally would've just like,I think anyone would've been
like, uh, what?
And you're, and you just, and,and it's, and like I know
obviously you are still feelingemotions.
Yeah.
You.
Cried a lot.
You've been super hard onyourself about it, but you

(43:51):
immediately were like, okay.
Like so what?
What's like, what do I do now?
What's next?
Yeah.
Cause literally, I mean, I thinkit did help that I had to move
because probably that sucked andthat sucked living in an Airbnb.
Yeah.
And not having my things.
Yeah.
But I think I could not imagineliving in the same house like
Yeah.
I just could not imagine it.
And I, I think too, like when mymind starts to fixate on what

(44:13):
happened, it's just kind oflike, okay, it's already done.
It's done with like whatever I'mthinking right now can't be
changed.
He did what he did.
Mm-hmm.
And I think it really does help.
I told people this in thebeginning, and I've told people
this on TikTok too.
People are like, well, I likehow do you get over it?
Or blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, I almost think adivorce is kind of easier to get
over it.
Only in the sense that I'm like,okay, he signed those divorce

(44:36):
papers.
so to me, I'm like, right, wemove on.
It's final.
Cuz you put it's final.
It's not just a breakup wheresomeone can come back and be
like, please take me back.
I messed up.
Yeah.
It's like, no, like you've, wesigned, you literally set papers
in front of me and I had to signthem.
So it's like, it's almost easierin that sense because I think
breakups, people are alwayslike, what if my ex comes back?

(44:59):
I don't think about that at all.
So a breakup, it's very likeopen-ended and then like a piece
of paper is like the door islike shut.
Yeah.
That's how I think.
Like that sounds what, yeah,that's what I'm getting from
that.
Yeah, definitely.
I think that's like one of thebiggest differences.
I think it, I think if we werejust a breakup, I'd have been
like, well, there's still hope.
You know what I mean?
And I think a lot of people havethat and then it's like, no, in

(45:20):
a divorce, it like whoeverinitiates the divorce usually
makes it very clear.
Yeah.
That it's like, this ishappening.
Cause if you got to that point,like dang.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's insane.
But that's, that's a littleabout, a bit about me, but
honestly I really am just takingthis time to like really grow,

(45:41):
really focus on myself, ummm-hmm.
and just.
Honestly, I'm getting to thepoint now where, like you said,
I can look back and be like, Idid that so wrong.
Like, you know, that was so badof me.
Or I shouldn't have done this,or I shouldn't have done that.
And I'm not really looking at itlike, why did this happen to me?

(46:02):
I mean, I still have days, but amajority of my days I would say
I look back on it or I try notto even think about it.
I'm like, we're pushing for, Imean, I think about it, but it's
more so like, what can I say tohelp others now.
Yeah.
And it's so, it's just so crazycuz you never know what's gonna
happen.
Mm-hmm.
in life and like, like, it'sjust crazy that you just decided

(46:26):
to start talking about it onsocial media and literally like
your, I guess digital blueprint,whatever at the moment.
Prior to that was fitness.
Yeah.
Music.
Yeah.
And now, now divorce.
It's a whole other world.
Yeah.
And like.

(46:48):
You have, you like representlike a very small part of the
divorce community, I guess?
Yeah.
Like, I don't know, I don't haveany numbers, but I, I think us
being 24, um, that's anotherthing.
There's no, there's, andespecially when you don't have
kids, they're like, they're,anytime someone says something,
they're like, oh, we'll just beglad you don't have kids.

(47:08):
Yeah.
And it's like, I love that.
I, I totally agree.
So happy we didn't have kids,but that doesn't make the pain
any less painful.
Like, you also have to besentimental about like, Hey, I'm
sure that's still really hard.
Like a lot of people, a lot oflike family, friends, whoever,
not really people our age,they're like, that sucks.
Like, that's so hard.
But like older people are like,well, just be glad you don't

(47:30):
kids.
And it's like, I totally getthat.
Yeah, totally get that.
It would've made things so muchworse, dragging a kid through
that.
If someone's going through abreakup and someone's going
through a divorce, they're bothsuper painful.
Super painful.
And they both can be painful.
Like when, like I wouldn't say,oh, well just be glad you're not
going through a divorce.
You know what I mean?
It's like, oh yeah.
So at this point, like whatwould you say is like the

(47:51):
biggest lesson you've learned?
Ooh, I think, I don't know.
I think the biggest thing for meis just not putting so much into
another person.
Like not molding so much of meinto another person and what

(48:11):
they want to do and you know,going, just kind of following
along.
and gaining my independenceback.
A lot of it is just like, okay,where, who do I want to be now?
Because truly when I gotdivorced, everyone was like,
well, just do what you wanna donow.
I didn't know that and I'm stillfiguring it out.
Yeah.
Like I don't, I didn't, I don'tknow, I just, I felt like I was

(48:34):
always independent in therelationship, but then when I
got divorced I was like, I haveno idea who I am.
Well that's a whole other thing,the codependency thing that we
Oh, I was codependent for sure.
So that's another thing likecodependent for sure.
So that's another thing I'mworking through to learn like
that balance of knowing you candepend on a person and having
your own identity and the thingsyou like to do.

(48:57):
Yeah.
I think And like those smallthings that like you like to do
outside of this other person.
Yeah.
You know?
A hundred percent.
I think that's another thingtoo, is like just not letting a
relationship move so quickly.
So, um, soon.
And also, yeah, just allowingmyself to, I mean, really it's

(49:20):
just about like hyping me upnow, figuring out what I like.
Yeah.
Like I'm almost going throughlike the early twenties in my
mid twenties now.
Yeah.
Like the early twenties whereyou like, figure out who you are
and do all this stuff.
I'm doing that now where I'mlike, okay, time to figure out
who I am, what I like, all ofthose things.
And it still applies to you withlike, how, you know, in your
twenties, everyone tells you.

(49:42):
It's like we, we are trying tomold ourselves into this
blueprint that apparently hasbeen laid before us by whoever
did it, whoever did it f thembecause you suck.
Yeah.
Literally.
I feel like now I'm at a pointeven where I feel the same way.

(50:07):
Like I'm just like, you knowwhat?
Forget it.
Like, This is what my life isright now.
Yeah.
And I'm going to make the mostof it, do what I wanna do.
That makes me feel happyregardless of what other people
have to like say about it.
Yeah.
And that took a few years, Ithink, to come out of, and I
think it's also has to do withthe fact that I was in college.

(50:29):
Yeah.
Because even though like I don'tregret going to college, like
that's part of like theblueprint that people say like,
oh, this is what you should do ahundred percent.
And then you go and get this joband you stay there and you work
your way up.
Yeah.
And then you get married andthen you have two to three kids.
Yeah.
And it's like this very specificand something that I feel like,

(50:51):
I don't know if you felt like,but we all compare our
situation.
Like when I was married I waslike, oh, it'd be so fun to like
run around and not be single,but like run around more and
like do X, Y, and Z.
And then now I'm like, Oh, it'dbe so fun.
Like I miss being in arelationship.
I miss having that.
So you just compare yourself andit's like, let's just be happy
with where we're at because Iwould even like do it whenever

(51:12):
you were with your ex.
Like I would even do that tolike my relationship.
I'd be like, God, like should webe living together?
Should we be like, oh really?
Like kind of comparing it tomine.
Of course.
That's like human nature.
Yeah, of course.
I think a lot of people saw meget married too and they're
like, should I be gettingmarried?
Like, what's going on?
But like, wait, like are we?
And then I'm like, mm-hmm.

(51:34):
y'all.
Like we ain't even been togetherfive years even.
Yeah.
Like what?
I know I'm kind of getting tothis point too, where I'm like
trying to plan my life.
I'm thinking about it like,okay, well if I give myself a
year to be single and then ayear to find my person and then
two, you know what I mean?
I'm like Cage Hill, like Yeah,that's true.
You do get very, your head, Iget very like planning.

(51:55):
I'm like, okay, I wanna havekids by this age, so I need to
find my person by this time.
It's like, bro, you have timeand if something derails from
that you like, It's spiral.
Yeah.
I, I definitely like have mymoments where I'm like, okay, I
need to like, take control.
Yeah.
Um, do you have anything elsewrapped up for relationships?
I feel like, again, I just wannapurpose that it was a two-way

(52:17):
street and I'm never trying totalk shit.
Okay, thanks.
She's such an angel.
Like, I'm really not, but Ireally am just trying to make
sure I never, uh, I feel likewhen you're saying something and
you know, it's, it's not likeyou, where you are in the
relationship still.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Because if I were in a, myrelationship still, I'd be like,
Hey, I'm gonna talk about this.
Is that cool?
Mm-hmm.

(52:38):
but I can't ask him that.
You know what I mean?
And I'm not going to, I'm like,I wanna make sure I'm still
being respectful because I didspend so many years with that
person.
Yeah.
And.
That's true.
You're not trying to putyourself in a Yeah, I'm not
trying to dig a stickysituation.
And I loved his family.
You know, I loved him for fourand a half years.
Yeah.
And so it's like, I'm not tryingto put myself in a sticky

(52:58):
situation.
Well, it's not like though, it'snot like your whole relationship
was just garbage.
Like No, you guys had, I thinkthat's why it was so like crazy
at the end.
Mm-hmm.
Because it wasn't like, weweren't like toxic relationship,
you know?
Again, I don't know what hewould say.
Yeah.
And I don't know his like, well,this is your perspective and
you're right.
Like, whatever.
Thanks, queen.

(53:19):
And I don't care if I'm beingbiased.
You're like, I don't know.
I'm just gonna always say itlike, I would hope I would
handle a situation the way thatyou're handling it, because it's
just crazy to me that's reallynice because I, I really don't
think, I mean, I know the amountof times I've called my dad just
like sobbing or the amount oftimes I've even just like
literally cried on TikTok.
Mm-hmm.

(53:39):
But I think that's so, I don'tknow.
I'm gonna hide myself up for asecond.
I think that's cool of mebecause nobody cries on the
internet.
Exactly.
Nobody, no crying on theinternet or, or it's like looked
down on No, I would sayliterally, and I'm like, cause
the people that do, the peopleare like, like, oh, you look
like crazy.
Well, it's always those apologyvideos that people are crying on
the internet.
Yeah.
They're crying and like, yeah,that's true.

(53:59):
That's true.
Cause I've definitely been thatperson where I'm like, I would
never cry on the internet.
Oh, I've told myself that too.
You're never gonna do that.
But.
A good thing has come out of it.
Yeah, a hundred percent.
Really good things have comeoutta it, so I hope to just
continue that and hopefully makea blog.
I don't think I have enoughinformation to make a book that
just seems really wild, but Iwould love to make a blog and
just talk about, it's just sofunny cuz we both wanna write

(54:22):
books and they're so d, they'reso different.
So different.
Mines like self-help and yoursis well, and then like Fantasy
love.
I love that though.
Yeah, I think that's great.
My life's a movie, so whatever.
I'm like, it's just, I'm justcharacter.
You're just a character.
All of us are characters and I'mjust like thinking of stories as
we all go along Yeah, I thinkthat's beautiful.

(54:42):
That's exactly what it is.
Yeah.
Well, thank you guys so much forlistening.
I don't know absolutely what ournext one is gonna be about, to
be fully honest.
But we have a list and we'llwe'll figure it out.
We'll figure it out.
But thank you guys so much forlistening and we will talk to
you.
Little bye.
Cry babies.
Bye.
Cry babies.