Ozzy Osbourne died recently, and is remembered as the GOAT of Heavy Metal—but nobody is blaming him for Donald Trump being president again. In this humorous "revisionist history" style solo episode of No Hair, All Heart, Mookie Spitz stitches together a wick cultural autopsy, tracing the lineage from reality TV trailblazer The Osbournes to Trump’s The Apprentice, and from there straight to the heart of MAGA madness.
Did Ozzy unwittingly create the template for ego-fueled, camera-hungry, truth-optional political theater? Was Mark Burnett merely the middleman? And is America’s addiction to celebrity chaos the real culprit? With sharp wit and Gen X nostalgia, Mookie revisits Randy Rhoads, Satanic Panic, ketchup-stained Oval Office chairs, and the insane logic of a culture that prefers its leaders unscripted, unhinged, and unforgivingly on-brand.
Trump’s political success wasn’t an accident—The Donald became a genre piece, a genre Ozzy essentially invented. Reality television as we know it began with a bat-biting madman opening his home to the world, and ended with a spray-tanned strongman closing the world up with America First.
Crank up the Sabbath and pour one out—because if Ozzy gave us Trump, then who the hell is Trump eventually giving us?
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