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July 11, 2025 18 mins

Your host and literary agent of chaos, Mookie Spitz, is back to read from his brainchild trainwreck, Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine. This time it’s pod #13 — lucky for absolutely no one, because Johnny is living his own personal extinction event.

Picture this: a 6’8” genetic ticking time bomb with a busted Marfan syndrome chromosome 15, hungover and beaten up in a black wrought iron chair, nursing guilt, meth, and a grudge against gravity. His high-rise in Chicago is gone, his crypto fortune’s locked tighter than a nun’s legs, and his last-ditch hacker? Kidnapped by Somali pirates. Naturally.

So Jonnie does what Jonnie does best:

  • Blows his last pesos in a Cancun casino
  • Lets a Brazilian porn star lick his neck
  • Watches a microchip tycoon lose his shirt betting on Fibonacci numbers
  • Fantasizes about the dinosaurs that had it all until one giant space rock said, “Nope.”

Because Jonnie's life is one asteroid away from total reset too — only this asteroid is self-inflicted, courtesy of his incompetent brilliance. Mookie teases out the bigger cosmic joke: What if the dinosaurs never died? What if Jonnie's shitshow somehow didn’t implode? 

Meanwhile, Jonnie wobbles between doom, delusion, and dopamine, plotting his next spectacular faceplant while the universe rolls its eyes.

This section is your halfway house between Fazoolie's Cancun meltdown and meeting a sultry scientist who’ll flip his world (and the Universe's physics) inside out. Stay tuned, because next up is the spark that ignites Johnny’s lunatic idea of building the... drum roll, please... 

The Novel

Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine

First Reading

Alice Unchained

Next Reading

Flirting with Destiny

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