Going for Broke: Reading from #JFTRE11

Mookie Spitz is back with another riotous reading from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine. Today’s dive kicks off on page 69 — where Johnny’s life continues its precipitious and self-inflicted descent.

Penny Pitz is gone. His penthouse is confiscated by the Cook County Sheriff. His  cat is probably the only stable thing he has going for him. Meanwhile, Jonnie's convinced that every “no” he gets from women just means they’re secretly obsessed. His delusion, arrogance, and crippling self-doubt are all rolled into one thrill-chasing wreck.

As Jonnie flees Chicago — dodging lawsuits, therapists, patent trolls, shady divorce lawyers, and a hilariously unhelpful rabbi — we’re treated to a parade of side characters who want nothing more than to get paid, get away, or get revenge.

Let's not forget Jonnie's forgotten crypto fortune: 555 Bitcoins worth over $60 million, trapped forever because this genius lost his seed phrase. Naturally, he heads to Cancun to seek the services of a dark web hacker he once met naked in a Turkish bath, hoping to salvage his millions before everyone he’s ever screwed over finds him.

On the plane, it only gets more ridiculous. Johnny scams his way into first class with Disney points, annoys the entire cabin with his snoring, then sparks an impromptu mariachi jam — complete with tequila, tambourines, and a fat joint passed around 35,000 feet in the air. A flamboyant flight attendant finally douses Jonnie's manic blonde head with raspberry seltzer, to the delight of a mustachioed mariachi guitarist who decides maybe this human train wreck is super fun to have around, after all. 

Between Tai Chi freak-outs, a cat who’s more dignified than his owner, and Jonnie's delusions of romantic grandeur, this twisted, hysterical, strangely relatable ride through the mind of a man who keeps betting on himself — no matter how often he loses, is never a dull moment — despite all of it apparently wasted. 

Hit play, subscribe, and share. Then come back tomorrow to see if Johnny even makes it to Mexico alive.

The Novel

Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine

First Reading

Alice Unchained

Next Reading

Queer & Loathing in Mexico

Send the host a text! Let him know what you think