Puss in Cahoots: Reading from #JFTRE23

Mookie Spitz reads the final section of Episode 2: The Bet from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine, and things are looking up for a change. Pressured, broke, and surrounded by bad decisions, Jonnie makes a rare, dangerous choice: he’s going all-in on his bet with the sexy German dominatrix scientist. Half-scam, half-breakthrough, and fully his last shot. But for the first time in forever, he’s not just running—he’s inspired. Fired up. Hopeful, even. And he carries that strange momentum with him straight into sleep...

What follows is Jonnie's most vivid hallucination yet: he’s seated in the command chair of a warp-capable starship, a mashup of every sci-fi film he’s ever loved. Earth hangs below in 270 degrees of curved screen glory. The ship’s AGI barks out launch sequences—zero-point gradient harmonization, singularity avoidance protocol, warp threshold ignition—while beside him, the feline embodiment of his fantasies slinks into his lap. She’s sleek, sultry, and unnervingly intelligent, whispering devotion in a Rosie Perez purr as stars stretch into blue-white lines and the warp bubble folds space like taffy. It’s erotic, epic, and insane.

And then it collapses! The ship ruptures. The dream snaps. The kitty morphs into a child-genius riddler mid-explosion, hurling another puzzle at our feckless and clueless anti-hero. 

Jonnie wakes up mid-flight to Cancun turbulence, sweating, horny, and electrified with purpose. He grabs the armrests and swears: if he doesn’t die in the next five minutes, he’ll live forever—or at least long enough to pull this thing off.

This marks the end of Episode 2: The Bet, and the latest chapter in Mookie’s daily read-through the nove. It’s one part of a trifecta project: live readings here on No Hair All Hard, deep-dive annotation on Bald and Bloviating, and a reverse-chronological tease on X. However you follow, the ride’s just getting weirder.

Episode 3 starts tomorrow!

The Novel

Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine

First Reading

Alice Unchained

Next Reading

Hating Mondays

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