Striking Out: Reading from #JFTRE28

Jonnie Fazoolie is back—and this time, he’s pitching nonsense harder than ever. In this chaotic reading the conman-entrepreneur is on the hunt for his next big break: a bogus startup that will make him the next pet rock millionaire.

Fueled by ego, Adderall, and pure delusion, Johnny cold-calls investors, annoys strangers, and dreams up inventions nobody needs—while convincing himself he’s a visionary. Between scam pitches to adult film stars, vending machine moguls, and even particle physicists, Johnny’s addiction to attention spirals into hilarious desperation.

But repeated failure teaches him something: if he wants to close the deal, his pitch has to sound real. The solution? Hire actual talent. Johnny sets his sights on academia, luring Dr. Casey Floyd—a gifted but obscure multiverse researcher—into his scheme under the guise of “private funding.”

The Professor, worn down by the rigid confines of university bureaucracy, feels trapped in a world of publish-or-perish politics. The promise of freedom, resources, and a chance to explore Their theories without institutional red tape makes Johnny’s offer—however sketchy—impossible to ignore. Against the Doc's better judgment, curiosity and ambition win out, and They agree to meet.

This episode blends satire, sci-fi, and cringe comedy, as Jonnie's shameless hustle collides with real science. Their uneasy alliance sets off a chain of events that may open the door to the infinite—or at the very least help buy lunch. 

The Novel

Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine

First Reading

Alice Unchained

Next Reading

Hiring & Firing

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