86: How to Lead with Calm and Connection at Home and Work w/ Mary Wilcox Smith

Ever wonder why you overreact in high-stress situations and what it means about your leadership?

In this powerful episode of No Limit Leadership, Sean Patton sits down with parent coach, speaker, and author Mary Wilcox Smith, creator of The Microstep Method. With four daughters and decades of experience helping overwhelmed parents, Mary shares a neuroscience-based approach to self-leadership, emotional regulation, and connection that applies just as much in the office as it does at home.

You’ll learn how triggers reveal deeper stories you carry, how calm is a skill you can train, and why true influence is built not in big moments, but in the small, everyday interactions we often overlook. Whether you're leading a company, a family, or both, this conversation is filled with practical tools and mindset shifts that will immediately change the way you lead.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• 00:41 – Who is Mary Wilcox Smith and why parenting is a form of leadership
• 02:14 – Why Mary created The Microstep Method and how it works
• 06:19 – The real reason parents (and leaders) overreact, and what to do instead
• 11:06 – Understanding the stories behind your emotional responses
• 13:55 – The 4 survival states: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn
• 15:17 – Why parenting mirrors your leadership triggers
• 17:47 – Calm isn’t a personality trait—it’s a trained leadership response
• 20:06 – Why authority is given, but influence is earned
• 24:46 – Connection before correction: how to build trust and cooperation
• 26:12 – The power of mirroring and how kids (and teams) respond
• 30:33 – Why being heard calms the brain and builds influence
• 31:03 – Business, parenting, and Arab warlords: Sean’s leadership analogy
• 36:07 – How to repair a moment and rebuild connection after a rupture
• 37:14 – Milestones vs. moments: what really shapes performance and mental health
• 40:06 – How emotional anchors shape resilience in kids and culture in teams

Connect with Mary Wilcox Smith

• 💻 Website: marysmithparentcoach.com
• 📚 Book: The Microstep Method
• 🧠 Free Self-Story Quiz: Take it here
• 🔗 LinkedIn: Mary Wilcox Smith

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No Limit Leadership is the go-to podcast for growth-minded executives, middle managers, and team leaders who want more than surface-level leadership advice. Hosted by executive coach and former Special Forces commander Sean Patton, this show dives deep into modern leadership, self-leadership, and the real-world strategies that build high-performing teams. Whether you're focused on leadership development, building a coaching culture, improving leadership communication, or strengthening team accountability, each episode equips you with actionable insights to unlock leadership potential across your organization. From designing onboarding systems that retain talent to asking better questions that drive clarity and impact, No Limit Leadership helps you lead yourself first so you can lead others better. If you're ready to create a culture of ownership, resilience, and results, this leadership podcast is for you.