Belonging: Finding the Zone Where You Thrive

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A simple move can surface a big truth: belonging shapes everything. We share why we left a very rural home for a small city and unpack how that decision revealed a practical framework for fit and flourishing. Drawing on plant wisdom from my forthcoming book, Nature Knows: Growing and Thriving Through the Wisdom of Plants, we translate climate zones into a human “thrivability zone” you can use to assess work, relationships, and place.

If a tropical plant can’t overwinter in a hard frost, it doesn’t mean the plant is wrong—it means the climate is. We explore this mindset for real life: how to tell when you’re conserving energy instead of flowering, why survival mode is sometimes necessary but costly when it lingers, and how small, intentional changes can shift your conditions. From higher education’s focus on belonging to everyday choices about autonomy, community, and values, you’ll hear clear signs of climate mismatch and concrete ways to amend the soil before you uproot your life.

You’ll also get a behind-the-scenes update on the book’s progress, including a chance to join the launch team for early access, cover voting, and illustrated extras. If you’ve felt stuck, silenced, or out of place, this conversation offers a gentle, evidence-informed path back to your nature—one boundary, one habit, one environment tweak at a time. Listen, reflect, and ask yourself: what light, warmth, and space do you need to thrive? If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who’s ready to grow, and leave a review to help others find the show.

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Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hi, and welcome to a mini episode of No Shrinking
Violets.
If you heard my recent mini,which was, I think, last week, I
talked about the fact that myhusband and I decided to pull up
stakes from our country home invery rural Pennsylvania.
And well, it's rural.
It's probably not certainly themost rural area of Pennsylvania,

(00:23):
but we decided to move to asmall city that's about an hour
from here.
And it's the county where I grewup in.
And one of the things that Ithink about when I think of this
decision for us is the idea ofbelonging.
And if you've worked ineducation at all, especially

(00:43):
higher education, this issomething that for a very long
time has been in the crosshairsof objectives or initiatives
within the higher ed world thatwhen you bring students to your
campus, it's really importantthat they feel that they belong
there because they're away fromhome, they're meeting all new

(01:04):
people, it's entirely different.
Nothing is familiar.
Their bed is different, theirfood is different, their classes
are different, all of thesethings, they've moved into this
other community.
So helping students feel thatthey belong is really important.
And it's often students inmarginalized populations that

(01:26):
tend to have the most troublefeeling connected to a new
space.
If everyone or many people lookdifferent than them, or even a
different state in the UnitedStates to go a few states away.
It's there are many cultures indifferent states.
So anyway, belonging is veryimportant.

(01:48):
And it's one of the firstchapters in my upcoming book,
which is called Nature KnowsGrowing and Thriving Through the
Wisdom of Plants.
And I use the idea of climatezones to reflect the idea of
belonging.
So let me give you a quicksnapshot.
If you're a gardener, youunderstand what climate zones
are.
So for those of you who aren't,a climate zone is the way that

(02:14):
you know if a plant you'rebuying can survive year-round
where you live.
So for instance, if you livewhere I do, the winters get
cold.
We definitely have frost andfreezing.
So a tropical plant, a plantthat would grow in much more

(02:34):
temperate zones, definitelySouth America, would not survive
the winter here.
So that would be called anannual for us.
An annual means a plant thatcannot complete its life cycle
and reproduce or produce seedsthat will grow in that spot
where it's planted.
A perennial is a plant thatcomes back every year.

(02:55):
So it's especially important toknow that your perennials can
survive the winter.
So the hardiness zone or theclimate zone is what you look at
on the plant tag.
So if we think about our own, Icall it thrivability zone in my
book.
If we think about where do wethrive, that is what can help us

(03:18):
figure out whether we feel asense of belonging.
So if you're in a situationwhere maybe you're in a new job
and it feels really good, youknow you belong there.
There's always an adjustment,but you know, this is great.
I belong here.
Or maybe you've been in a jobfor a long time and things have

(03:39):
changed in that job, and you'restarting to feel like this
doesn't feel right anymore.
Maybe there was a lot ofturnover, maybe there are new
missions or objectives in thecompany and they just don't
resonate for you.
Maybe there is just a change inyou.
Maybe you want somethingdifferent and you don't feel

(04:00):
like you belong there anymore.
It could be a situation wherethere are relationships where
you don't feel like you belong.
Maybe it's something where youperhaps tolerated some things
that you always felt weren'tokay and now you feel that more
keenly.
And when a plant does that, itwill still survive.
If a plant doesn't get enoughlight or it's not getting enough

(04:22):
water, it typically will shutdown some of its functioning,
and usually that's flowering, tosurvive.
That means it's not thrivingbecause the whole point of life
is to reproduce.
So if a plant can't flower, itcan't produce seeds, it can't be
pollinated, can't produce seeds,can't reproduce.

(04:43):
So there are things that we alldo to survive where we are.
But if you do too many thingsthat don't allow you to thrive,
and you hear me say all thetime, taking up your space, if
you stay small or you don'tallow yourself to have a voice

(05:04):
or to truly follow youressential nature, to truly be
the person you are, to livewhere you want, to explore the
job you want, to be in arelationship where you feel that
you have a true partner.
So many areas in our life we canjust survive.

(05:25):
And yes, there are times thatyou may decide I need to stay
here and just survive for now.
But there are a lot ofsituations where we talk
ourselves out of going into adifferent zone where we would
thrive, where we would have morewarmth, or maybe things are too
hot where you are.
Maybe you don't want amicromanaging boss, or maybe you

(05:49):
don't want a controllingpartner.
Um, you might decide you want togo somewhere where you can have
more solitude or moreindependence.
So I really pull um a lot moreexamples out of this idea of
climate zone and belongingbecause it is really the basis
for building a life where wethrive.

(06:10):
And I'm sure I will talk a moreabout this as my book is coming
um coming together.
It's at the editors now.
But there is one thing that youcould help with.
And I would love if you would beon my launch team.
And that just means you'll getperiodic emails from me, not I
will not flood your inbox, andit will be all about my book and

(06:32):
fun things like maybe you canhelp me vote for the cover that
you want, which by the way, mysister is designing, or we're
working on taking some of thebeautiful illustrations she's
doing and creating note cards,or I will send you a chapter of
me narrating a chapter of mybook for free.
So there's a lot of differentthings that we want to have fun

(06:52):
with because I am so excitedabout getting this book into the
world.
It's called Nature Knows Growingand Thriving Through the Wisdom
of Plants.
So if you would love to be partof my launch team and there will
be details in the first email,if you sign up, I just need your
first name, your email.
There's a link in the shownotes.
It's maryrothwell.net forwardslash launch team.

(07:14):
Get your friends, if you'rereaders, please get them
involved because you will get anadvanced copy of the book for
cost before it's available tothe public.
So more deets in the emails, butI would love, love, love to have
you part of my launch team.
Until next time, thanks forlistening and go out into the
world and be the amazing,resilient, vibrant Violet that

(07:35):
you are.