October 7, 2025 • 34 mins
Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!
Control rarely arrives kicking down the door—it slips in dressed as care. That’s the thread we pull with author and advocate Amanda Scott, whose 17-year marriage looked stable from the outside but ran on a quiet currency of emotional and financial abuse. We explore how intense attention, constant check-ins, and money “help” can be early signals of coercive control, and why fairy-tale scripts about rescue and romance make it harder to recognize red flags like love-bombing, isolation, and gaslighting.
Amanda shares the pivotal moment that cracked the façade—a phone lit with twelve missed calls and a feeling she could no longer ignore—and the forty-three days that followed as she rebuilt her life step by step. We go deep on financial abuse: withheld funds, coerced signatures, unauthorized debts, and the misuse of power of attorney that trap victims and block the exit. You’ll hear practical guidance on safety planning, from go-bags and code words to secure documents, discreet accounts, and trauma-informed support. We also talk about the role of friends as lifelines: how to keep the door open, offer help without control, and become the steady presence a survivor can lean on.
At the heart of this conversation is a redefinition of love and worth. Real love respects time and autonomy; it doesn’t require you to get smaller to keep the peace. If you feel small, silenced, controlled, or afraid, that is enough to call it what it is and begin again. We’re here to remind you that freedom is possible, self-respect is a practice, and community is the bridge between the two.
If this resonates, follow the show, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and leave a review to help more people find these resources. Your support might be the nudge that opens a door for someone else.
You can find Amanda HERE.
Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.
Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Mary (00:05):
Welcome to No Shrinking Violets.
I'm your host, Mary Rothwell,licensed therapist and certified
integrative mental healthpractitioner.
I've created a space where wecelebrate the intuition and
power of women who want to breakfree from limiting narratives.
We'll explore all realms ofwellness, what it means to take
up space unapologetically, andhow your essential nature is key
(00:28):
to living life on your terms.
It's time to own your space,trust your nature, and flourish.
Let's dive in.
Hey Violets, welcome to theshow.
I know from my work with womenwho have experienced assault or
even chronic abuse, there's alot of misunderstanding about
how the cycle happens and whatwould allow someone to endure
(00:51):
long-term abuse.
The question many who areignorant ask: why didn't she
just leave?
And oh, how complicated thefoundation and cycle of abuse
really is.
It has been throughexperiencing the stories of my
clients and learning from otherprofessionals who specialize in
working with abuse victims thatI myself really began to
understand how complex thesesituations are.
(01:13):
Dozens of times I've sat acrossfrom college students who knew
something was drastically wrongin her relationship, yet was
careful to only share detailsthat were so whitewashed that an
untrained ear might hear it aslove.
I firmly believe that thestories we're told, from movies
to fairy tales, set women up fora faulty inner belief system
(01:34):
that is fertile ground for theseeds of abuse to grow.
Snow White, jealousy of anotherwoman, led to Snow White being
poisoned and a prince had tosave her.
Cinderella, kept in servitudeby jealous stepsisters and
stepmom until she is saved byboth magic and a prince who fell
in love with her shoe.
(01:55):
80s movies, smart, quirky, andfunny girls who were way cooler
than the popular girls, twistingthemselves into a pretzel to
win the cute boy.
Is he really the prize, though?
Okay, so let me draw theparallel.
We're told that first a manneeds to save us, and when he
does, we've won.
And the other girls will bejealous.
And he does this by beingcharming and, well, hell, a
(02:18):
literal prince.
So when we meet someone thatseems to be so enamored of us
that he makes his life about us,we can think that's love.
And when he gets angry or hestarts to buy you the clothes he
wants you to wear or supportyou cutting ties with
girlfriends because after all,you have each other, each of
those little red flags, whichwould fill a football field, can
(02:39):
be ignored because eachseparate incident can feel
insignificant until they don't.
My guest today has her ownstory of abuse, and there may be
shades of some of these sameissues.
While there are nearly alwaysaspects that are similar from
one situation to the next,including shared self-beliefs,
each case is unique and shouldbe respected as such.
(03:00):
And also, it's not only womenwho are victims of partner
abuse.
Men can be abused by both maleand female partners.
Okay, so today we have AmandaScott with us.
She is the author of Finding MyWay Back to Me, her story about
how she found the courage tofree herself after 17 years in
an abusive marriage, whichbrings focus to the often hidden
(03:22):
aspects of domestic abuse.
Amanda now works with peoplewho have experienced domestic
financial and emotional abuse,helping them to rebuild their
lives and find a new wayforward.
Welcome to No ShrinkingViolets, Amanda.
Hello, Mary, and thank you forhaving me.
And I want to note that Amandais in Australia.
(03:43):
So it's 9 a.m.
here in Pennsylvania and it'slike 11 o'clock PM there.
So she is a little bit of anight owl.
And I am.
Amanda (03:51):
I am tonight.
I am tonight, Mary.
Mary (03:54):
So I appreciate you staying up for us because I
think this is going to be agreat conversation.
So I wondered if you couldstart by telling us about your
specific situation.
So kind of give an idea howthings started with your
ex-partner, how it escalated,and then how you kind of were
able to escape from all of it.
Amanda (04:13):
Well, I experienced domestic abuse in a marriage for
17 years.
Yet for the longest time, Ididn't realize that what I lived
with was abuse.
Because abuse takes many forms.
And it's often hidden, whetherit's financial or emotional or
(04:41):
uh physical or sexual abuse, itcreates feelings of shame in the
abused that keep them stuck.
I mean, nobody wants to feelunloved and uncared for.
And so we make excuses for ourpartner's behavior rather than
accept the truth that we arebeing abused.
(05:03):
So I decided to share my livedexperience because I wanted to
shine more light on this issue.
As my greatest hope is thatpeople can find awareness and
support and move through thisbecause there is um everyone
(05:25):
deserves kindness and respect.
And to move on from an abusivesituation.
Mary (05:32):
Yeah.
Well, do you so do you rememberfor you when you started to get
an inkling that this isn'tmaybe what you signed up for in
your marriage?
Amanda (05:44):
Yes, well, I think it's well, my journey to free myself
from an abusive relationshipreally started when I returned
from the car after going for awalk in the park with a friend.
And uh returning to the car, Ifound 12 missed calls on my
(06:05):
phone.
Uh I was terrified.
I called my husband because I Ithought, what had happened?
Something had seriously hadhappened.
But he answered, Where have youbeen?
What have you been doing?
Why haven't you been answeringyour phone?
You have a phone, pick it up.
I've been here waiting for mylunch.
(06:28):
So this conversation was abeginning of the end.
I've been lied to, financiallyabused, and told I was
worthless.
Mary (06:37):
Yeah.
And you had children too,right?
So there was a di there wasother there were other things
you really had to kind of beconcerned about, the caretaking
of the children, all of thatprobably complicated some
things.
Amanda (06:52):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And it impacts the children.
Yeah.
But we you know, don't tellyourself you'll stay for the
children, because what we teachour children in that situation
is that love equals abuse.
And one of my primarymotivations for leaving the
(07:15):
marriage was to show m mychildren the importance of
self-respect.
Mary (07:21):
Yeah.
Amanda (07:22):
But Mary, you know, as I I stop and I look back, um I um
was stopped really from seeingfriends a long time ago because
my husband didn't want me totake the primary role of being a
(07:44):
mother and looking after thehouse away.
So when I got married, I uh youknow, the big really the
biggest issue was the way Iinterpreted the science of uh
love.
Because when I got married, Iwas convinced of one thing that
(08:10):
my husband loved me.
When he called me 12 times aday to see where I was, what I
was doing, and and when I'd behome, in my mind, it showed me
that he loved and he cared forme when he was critical of the
friends um that I was seeingearly on in in the time that we
(08:32):
were um together.
Um I believed that he wasreally concerned for my
well-being.
Um, in truth, I think I had tobelieve that I was loved because
the alternative wasunthinkable.
(08:53):
It was like rendering my lifein meaninglessly.
So what happened is myhusband's behavior towards me
deteriorated.
I made excuses rather thanaccept the truth that what I
believed was love and aprotective nature was actually,
(09:16):
in fact, abuse and control.
And it happened so slowly.
Well, yes, and in my case,abuse grew slowly, yes, and it
starts out as one incident of ofdisrespect, uh, and then uh it
becomes two and three untileventually it becomes the way I
(09:40):
lived.
I mean, I was told I wasstupid, so it didn't take long
before I believed it, and thatmeant each time I was treated
badly, it became my faultbecause I thought if I was
better, things would be better.
So, what happens is theemotional abuse enables a
financial abuse because I wastoo scared to question my
(10:04):
husband's decisions, so I didwhat I was told, hoping he would
get better.
Mary (10:10):
Yeah, but it doesn't, right?
And it's interesting becausewhen you you talk about love,
and so I I tend to believe thatinitially we in in abusive
relationships, you are loved.
And I think then other thingscome into play.
So when you have somebody thatyou especially have committed
your life to and you trust andyou feel loves you, starts to
(10:33):
tell you things like you'restupid, yeah, you know, that
really can mess with your mindbecause you this is the person
you're supposed to trust.
And you know, and so it cancreate that self-doubt.
And the more you hear it andthe deeper you are into it,
that's where I think it becomesdifficult to kind of extricate
yourself and get yourself.
Well, you start to believe it.
Amanda (10:55):
And that is the thing.
I mean, when I look back, itseems unreal that I was would uh
accept the day-to-day realityback then.
I mean, I asked myself why?
Why did I tolerate what I knownow to be emotional and
financial abuse?
But the short answer is thatcontrol, uh, abuse took control
(11:17):
of my whole world.
Yeah, I no longer had areference point to be treated
with dignity and respect.
It became my new normal.
It was normal to be yelled at,it was normal to be told I was
stupid, it was normal never tomake my own decisions.
(11:38):
Yet the deeper answer as to whyI tolerated it, it was because
I had grown to believe that Ideserved to be treated that way.
Yeah.
Mary (11:52):
And I think it's easy to look at it from the outside and
think I would never let myselfget into that situation.
But it's like the idea of theputting the lobster in the pot
and then bringing it to a boil.
You don't really recognizewhat's happening until you're
like, holy, holy crap, like I'min a pot of boiling water.
And yeah, so you have mentionedfinancial abuse a couple of
(12:17):
times.
And part of reading throughyour information, when I saw
that, I'm like, yes, like thisis such an important aspect.
And so to give a littlecontext, and I want you to talk
about more about what thismeans, but when I think about
United States, so we women didnot have the ability to take out
loans, buy a house until 1973.
(12:38):
And for some people, that mightbe like, oh, that was a long
time ago.
For me, I was um six years oldat that point.
So it's it's really interestingto think that we didn't have
those rights.
And when you don't have theability to be financially
independent, I want you to thinkabout if you had no access to a
(13:01):
bank account, no access tomoney.
So that is part of abuse that Ithink we don't talk about.
So can you explain a littlewhat financial abuse means and
how that affected you?
Amanda (13:12):
Yeah, because whatever you think of domestic uh abuse,
it just uh you think of an imageof uh physical violence, but
that is an insidious form of uhcontrol and it's financial
abuse.
And what it does, it stripsaway your independence, it your
(13:35):
security, and your ability toescape the situation.
The emotional and socialconsequences are um still
unaddressed and unseen.
And I mean, many survivors likeI was, we suffer in silence
(13:56):
because of the lack of resourcesand the fear of judgment.
Um in Australia, one in fourpeople um uh suffer from
financial abuse.
And the thing, the problem is,I mean, studies have been taken
by the UNSW in um Sydney, andthe biggest problem is that
(14:19):
there is no clear definition ofwhat financial abuse is.
So there is no clear, uhthere's no um accurate or
consistent measures.
Mary (14:33):
Yeah.
Amanda (14:34):
So um yeah, so it's a really it's quite a big problem
here.
Um, and as you said, whathappens is withholding money, uh
withholding funds, uh, and theabusers um control all the
finances.
Mary (14:55):
Yeah.
Amanda (14:55):
Uh yes.
So leaving women with withoutfunds and sometimes for the
basic things, and also there'sum mounting hidden debts.
Mary (15:07):
Yeah.
Amanda (15:08):
Uh women often discover that their names are tied to
unauthorized credit cards andloans um accumulated by the
abuser.
And then there's also umeconomic isolation, and that's
(15:28):
by limiting the education andthe final literacy.
This is where the abusers trapwomen in that cycle of uh
dependency.
It's really important for womento step up and to find out what
is happening, what with thefinances, and do not sign
(15:52):
anything without fullyunderstanding what you are being
presented with.
Because my husband had my powerof attorney and use that to
secure loans and credit in myname.
Mary (16:07):
And did you say that you didn't even have a car that was
in your name?
There was no car keeping toyou.
Amanda (16:12):
Yeah, absolutely.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
The thing is, what happens issometimes we get too scared to
access money from the accountsor the credit cards without
permission, yeah, because of therepercussions being yelled at,
being made to feel small.
So you don't feel like you'reworthy because you have your
(16:36):
you've had your self-worth beingchipped away, you don't think
you're worthy enough to havemoney.
Mary (16:44):
Yeah.
And I think if if someonethinks about, okay, if you had
to today leave your home andjust leave, could you if you had
if you didn't have your creditcard, if you didn't have so you
know, we often hear stories, andI'll go to like movies or
books, we hear the stories ofwomen squirreling away money,
(17:06):
like they have to save cash.
They they have to plan to getout, which in itself, I'm
thinking, is quite stressfulbecause you know in your mind,
like here's my plan, but youneed to act in everyday life,
like that's not your plan.
So, how did you?
I know your story.
So you were walking in the parkwith a friend.
(17:27):
It's it's interesting thatsometimes simple things are the
eye-openers when we really lookat our lives.
So, how did you how did thisprocess work for you of getting
out of this situation?
Amanda (17:41):
I think well for the most powerful and step a woman
can take is to admit andacknowledge that she is in an
abusive relationship.
And it might sound simple tosomeone on the outside, but when
(18:03):
you are living in it, it is oneof the hardest truths to face
because we make excuses, wenormalize the behavior, we tell
ourselves it's not that bad,especially if there's no bruises
or broken bones to prove thepain.
But abuse, as I said, wearsmany masks, it's not always loud
(18:24):
or violent.
Yeah, yeah.
So I think it's uh by admittingit.
And once you admit it, youcrack open the door to freedom
by simply saying enough isenough, it starts to oh and you
(18:45):
don't have to, you might nothave all the answers.
You might not know what the totake the next step.
You you might not know how totake that next step, but by
simply saying enough, it opens adoor to freedom.
Yes, and the help is there,support is there.
(19:07):
So gradually, you know, it'sit's just about making a
decision that you deserve abetter life, and then do
whatever it takes to make thathappen.
And that means finding thatpart of you that still has
dreams for a good life and wantsto leave more than you want to
(19:28):
stay.
Yeah.
Mary (19:29):
Yeah, I think there's a lot of shame when you recognize
it.
I mean, I think that's part ofthe reason why many women know
on some level, but to be able tosort of step out and say, I,
and I think it is because ofthis socialized um idea of
strong women don't end up inabusive relationships, which is
(19:51):
totally untrue, 100% untrue.
Some of some very, very strongwomen have ended up in the
situation because, like we said,it's gradual.
And then once you're there,it's like, how did I get here?
Surely I'm strong enough to getmyself out of this, but it's
very complex.
And so I think the idea ofshame is very real.
(20:12):
But at the same time, yourstory can help people understand
that it's so, so common to endup on this path and there's
nothing shameful.
It's a human condition.
And then once you're yourecognize, like you're saying, I
don't want to live this way,then that's the first step.
(20:33):
So for you, what did that looklike?
How did you take that step?
Did you say something to yourhusband?
Was it more this internaldecision?
How did you turn that huge shiparound and go in another
direction?
Amanda (20:46):
Well, I just had enough.
Enough was, you know, Irealized it was enough.
And the final trigger was umhis infidelity.
And I don't know, Mary, iftoday I'd still be there if it
wasn't for that.
(21:07):
But I knew that wasn't right,that was my turning point.
Um, that was a time enough wasenough for me.
Yes.
And the fear of staying wasgreater than the fear of
leaving.
And I think when it gets tothat point, you just do whatever
(21:33):
you can.
And you you sometimes need toleave it up to others to
support.
And I think the most importantthing is to maintain strong
friendships because they are thebackbone to your path forward.
That's a very and start makingyour needs a priority.
(21:54):
For me, that was one step thatI really took.
And for me, that was walking inthe park.
That was connecting withfriends.
That was the only way that Icould actually stay the distance
to get through the process.
Mary (22:08):
Yeah.
Amanda (22:09):
Yeah.
Mary (22:10):
Well, and so this podcast, there's there's a community, I
feel like it's a community.
And when women I think canstand together, we are stronger.
So I would put sort of putthis, you know, out there to
anyone listening.
If you know someone who's inthis situation, it might not be
you, but I think abusers canmake a situation to like they
(22:34):
sort of set it up so that theydisconnect the person they're
abusing from their supports,their family, their friends.
And if you're that friend andyou sense something is wrong,
but your friend isn't ready tohear that, please keep the door
open because there could be aday where you know that behavior
(22:56):
isn't about you.
If they're stopped calling youor they make excuses and you
have that gut feeling, somethingis not right with Amanda,
something is not right withSusie, something, whatever it
is, please don't let that makeyou close the door if you know
that you know, there's thissense of something is not right.
Please be available if thatperson at some point needs to
(23:20):
have your support.
Yes.
Amanda (23:21):
And they will when they are ready.
Mary (23:24):
Yeah.
Amanda (23:25):
And it's just being there for them when they are
ready.
Mary (23:29):
Yeah.
Well, and I think it'sconfusing, like we talked about
in you know, in theintroduction, I think it's
confusing sometimes because wemistake certain actions as love.
So if somebody is a youngperson or new in a relationship
and there's the excitement andall the great stuff, but there's
starting to be this sense oflike, I don't, that didn't feel
(23:50):
great, but I think it's justbecause he loves me.
Can you give an idea?
Like, what are some alarm bellsthat someone might be an abuser
or you might be in an abusiverelationship?
Amanda (24:00):
Some of them are when you feel that you're um that you
feel that you're responsiblefor everything, that you're not
treated as an equal and youropinion doesn't count when you
are shamed regularly and toldyou're incompetent and stupid,
(24:22):
when you're made to feel asthough everything is your fault.
Oh yeah.
Mary (24:26):
Yeah, the gaslighting part.
Amanda (24:28):
Yes.
Mary (24:29):
Yeah, that's not no, that's not how it happened, and
you know that's how it happened.
Amanda (24:33):
Right.
Mary (24:33):
Yeah.
Amanda (24:34):
When you are denied regular access to friends and
shamed for having anyone out uhuh, you know, uh any other
person um from outside, comeinside.
I mean, you know, when you'reshamed for having that
friendship, when you um havelittle access to money, yeah,
(24:57):
yeah.
Or you need to ask for it.
Asking for money, begging formoney.
Mary (25:05):
And sometimes it can be thinking if if you're really
lost and really confused, it canbe thinking, would I treat my
partner that I loved this way?
Would I perpetrate thesebehaviors on that person, on
someone I loved, would I treatmy children this way?
And that can sometimes when wethat that makes it not about, is
am I overreacting?
(25:26):
Am I, you know, expectingsomething that isn't going to
happen?
I think it then can it's sortof like, what's the evidence?
Let's look at it, put it in adifferent context.
Would you treat somebody youlove in the ways you're being
treated?
And that can take out some ofthat emotion because usually the
answer is a resounding no.
I would never want someone tofeel this way, feel so reduced.
Amanda (25:51):
And only until we ask ourselves those questions do we
realize what has had is actuallyhappening.
Mary (25:58):
Yeah.
Amanda (25:59):
What is currently happening, yes.
Mary (26:01):
Yeah.
Amanda (26:02):
So it's acknowledging it, asking those sort of
questions to yourself.
Yeah.
Because real love doesn't feellike or look like control.
It took me years to understand.
If it feels like control, itis.
Mary (26:17):
Yeah.
And you know, the the term lovebombing isn't is newer.
Um, I think it came someprobably came from somewhere on
TikTok or whatever.
But I think it's a real thing,and and it's such a descriptive
term that in the beginning of arelationship, if you have that
happening, and this is not you,it's not necessarily universal,
(26:38):
but if you have this sense oflike everything is so intense,
and he wants to know where I amall the time, and oh my gosh,
look how much he really caresabout me.
That's not care, as you'resaying, that's control.
Amanda (26:51):
Absolutely, yeah, that is, yes, and it's recognizing
those signs.
You think it's you're special,he's caring, and how sweet.
But no, no, it's not, and Ithat is control, yeah, because
the situation I was in hadnothing to do with what I did or
(27:12):
what I didn't do, uh, or mybehavior.
It was simply because myhusband was a deeply insecure
man that needed absolutecontrol, and because of my lack
of self-worth, I chose to acceptit rather than question that.
(27:32):
So when you've been abused fora long time, you keep on
accepting it, even though youknow you shouldn't.
Mary (27:41):
Yeah.
Amanda (27:43):
Yeah.
Mary (27:44):
So I'm guessing you remember when that day of
reckoning came when you told himthis is not what you want
anymore.
Yes, yes.
It had to be.
Did you feelscared? Did you feel excited? I
I felt lighter.
Oh yeah.
Amanda (28:04):
Emotionally lighter, but I had a long way to go.
And in my book, I had 43pivotal days it took me to
change my life.
But these days I was pushed tomy limits, I was forced to make
decisions and move beyond mycomfort zone to create their
life.
Yeah.
(28:24):
But it was worth it.
It was worth it.
unknown (28:28):
Yeah.
Mary (28:28):
I I think many women, depending on their situation,
because yeah, it can be sexualabuse, it can be physical abuse,
it can be all and all thethings, financial, emotional.
Um, I think many women find itinconceivable to be where you
are, to have that sense offreedom because they are scared.
(28:50):
They are, like you said, cutoff from any financial support,
sometimes emotional support ofpeople that they need.
So that's the the way that youframe it as hopeful.
I think you know, that's abeautiful part of it, that you
can come through it.
Amanda (29:08):
Yes.
And for abuse to stop, start tobelieve in yourself and know
your worth.
You know, self-belief is iseverything to change your world.
Is it's a it's everything tochange your world.
It's easy to start blamingother people, but it's not until
(29:31):
you know you believe that youdeserve more and you won't
accept abuse any longer thatthings can actually start to
change.
Mary (29:43):
Yeah.
And finding supports, like yousaid, even if you feel like
you've been cut, you you've notinvested in friendships.
I'm guessing that you havesomeone that you know, someone
in an abuse situation hassomeone that they can say, you
know what, I I In a situation, Ineed help, I need support.
There are places you can go,places you can call.
(30:05):
But I think overcoming, asyou're saying, like this idea of
disempowerment, overcoming theshame that there are so many
women every single day thatrecognize they're in an abusive
situation, that get out of it,um, and sometimes don't
necessarily um some sometimesstay.
(30:28):
You know, so I think findingthe sense stay.
Yeah, finding what you need to,you know, get through that,
whether it's supports, you know,outside of family and friends,
um, depending how severe yoursituation is.
But yeah, I think it's thatlike you said originally, like
first calling it what it is,because you know, you love this
(30:51):
person, you marry them, and allof a sudden, you know, you get
this realization of wait asecond, this is actually not
love.
So, yeah, that's an importantpart of it.
Amanda (31:01):
Absolutely, yeah.
And it only takes one friend toto to make, you know, uh, and
uh my friend said, you know,that is disrespect.
She noticed it.
Mary (31:13):
Yeah, yeah, you had one person that was able to really
mirror that to you, right?
I did, yes, yeah.
Amanda (31:21):
You are not alone, there are safe people and places
ready to hold space for yourhealing, whether it's a a
woman's shelter, a supportsgroup, a counselor, a friend,
and someone like me, or somebodylike me who's walked this path
(31:42):
and wants to help you to to towalk beside you too.
Mary (31:46):
Yeah.
Amanda (31:47):
Yeah.
Mary (31:48):
Because part of the abuse is making you believe there's no
one, that he is the only orshe.
He they, your abuser is theonly one that is there for you.
And that's just not true.
Amanda (31:59):
Absolutely.
And the truth is you don't needuh permission to call it abuse.
If it feels wrong, if you feelsmall, silenced, controlled,
afraid, or constantlyquestioning your worth, that is
enough.
Yeah, you don't have to waitfor it to get worse.
(32:19):
Your feelings are valid andyour pain is real.
Once you acknowledge it, thatis the start.
That is the the the door opens,it cracks open the door to
freedom.
Mary (32:31):
Yep.
And you can even still lovethat person and understand maybe
what is causing them to be thatway and still decide you don't
want them in your life.
Love doesn't have yeah, itdoesn't love doesn't have to
mean suffering or giving up whatyou need.
Amanda (32:45):
And it doesn't no, no, no, no, but love is free, love
is kind, love is uh trusting,love is uh respectful and
empowering.
Yeah, yeah.
That's what love is.
Mary (33:00):
Well, Amanda, thank you for sharing your story.
Can you please tell peoplewhere they can find you?
Amanda (33:06):
Lovely.
Well, uh my uh website, if youwant to go on my website,
amandaj Scott.com, and that'swhere I have um a um blogs.
If you'd like to sign up for ablog update, or if you'd like to
find my book, it's sold, it'sthere and it's sold on all
(33:28):
platforms.
And tell us again the name ofyour book.
Finding my way back to me.
It's an easy, quick read, uh,but it's a powerful reminder
that we all deserve to betreated with kindness and
respect.
Mary (33:47):
All right.
Well, thank you.
Thank you for your story andfor sharing it.
And I want to thank everyonefor listening.
Please share this episode withany anyone who was on your mind
as you listened.
It could be the gentle nudge tohelp them feel seen or even
start to believe that they toocan have a different life.
And until next time, go outinto the world and be the
(34:07):
amazing, resilient, vibrantviolet that you are.
Welcome to No Shrinking Violets.
I'm your host, Mary Rothwell,licensed therapist and certified
integrative mental healthpractitioner.
I've created a space where wecelebrate the intuition and
power of women who want to breakfree from limiting narratives.
We'll explore all realms ofwellness, what it means to take
up space unapologetically, andhow your essential nature is key
(00:28):
to living life on your terms.
It's time to own your space,trust your nature, and flourish.
Let's dive in.
Hey Violets, welcome to theshow.
I know from my work with womenwho have experienced assault or
even chronic abuse, there's alot of misunderstanding about
how the cycle happens and whatwould allow someone to endure
(00:51):
long-term abuse.
The question many who areignorant ask: why didn't she
just leave?
And oh, how complicated thefoundation and cycle of abuse
really is.
It has been throughexperiencing the stories of my
clients and learning from otherprofessionals who specialize in
working with abuse victims thatI myself really began to
understand how complex thesesituations are.
(01:13):
Dozens of times I've sat acrossfrom college students who knew
something was drastically wrongin her relationship, yet was
careful to only share detailsthat were so whitewashed that an
untrained ear might hear it aslove.
I firmly believe that thestories we're told, from movies
to fairy tales, set women up fora faulty inner belief system
(01:34):
that is fertile ground for theseeds of abuse to grow.
Snow White, jealousy of anotherwoman, led to Snow White being
poisoned and a prince had tosave her.
Cinderella, kept in servitudeby jealous stepsisters and
stepmom until she is saved byboth magic and a prince who fell
in love with her shoe.
(01:55):
80s movies, smart, quirky, andfunny girls who were way cooler
than the popular girls, twistingthemselves into a pretzel to
win the cute boy.
Is he really the prize, though?
Okay, so let me draw theparallel.
We're told that first a manneeds to save us, and when he
does, we've won.
And the other girls will bejealous.
And he does this by beingcharming and, well, hell, a
(02:18):
literal prince.
So when we meet someone thatseems to be so enamored of us
that he makes his life about us,we can think that's love.
And when he gets angry or hestarts to buy you the clothes he
wants you to wear or supportyou cutting ties with
girlfriends because after all,you have each other, each of
those little red flags, whichwould fill a football field, can
(02:39):
be ignored because eachseparate incident can feel
insignificant until they don't.
My guest today has her ownstory of abuse, and there may be
shades of some of these sameissues.
While there are nearly alwaysaspects that are similar from
one situation to the next,including shared self-beliefs,
each case is unique and shouldbe respected as such.
(03:00):
And also, it's not only womenwho are victims of partner
abuse.
Men can be abused by both maleand female partners.
Okay, so today we have AmandaScott with us.
She is the author of Finding MyWay Back to Me, her story about
how she found the courage tofree herself after 17 years in
an abusive marriage, whichbrings focus to the often hidden
(03:22):
aspects of domestic abuse.
Amanda now works with peoplewho have experienced domestic
financial and emotional abuse,helping them to rebuild their
lives and find a new wayforward.
Welcome to No ShrinkingViolets, Amanda.
Hello, Mary, and thank you forhaving me.
And I want to note that Amandais in Australia.
(03:43):
So it's 9 a.m.
here in Pennsylvania and it'slike 11 o'clock PM there.
So she is a little bit of anight owl.
And I am.
Amanda (03:51):
I am tonight.
I am tonight, Mary.
Mary (03:54):
So I appreciate you staying up for us because I
think this is going to be agreat conversation.
So I wondered if you couldstart by telling us about your
specific situation.
So kind of give an idea howthings started with your
ex-partner, how it escalated,and then how you kind of were
able to escape from all of it.
Amanda (04:13):
Well, I experienced domestic abuse in a marriage for
17 years.
Yet for the longest time, Ididn't realize that what I lived
with was abuse.
Because abuse takes many forms.
And it's often hidden, whetherit's financial or emotional or
(04:41):
uh physical or sexual abuse, itcreates feelings of shame in the
abused that keep them stuck.
I mean, nobody wants to feelunloved and uncared for.
And so we make excuses for ourpartner's behavior rather than
accept the truth that we arebeing abused.
(05:03):
So I decided to share my livedexperience because I wanted to
shine more light on this issue.
As my greatest hope is thatpeople can find awareness and
support and move through thisbecause there is um everyone
(05:25):
deserves kindness and respect.
And to move on from an abusivesituation.
Mary (05:32):
Yeah.
Well, do you so do you rememberfor you when you started to get
an inkling that this isn'tmaybe what you signed up for in
your marriage?
Amanda (05:44):
Yes, well, I think it's well, my journey to free myself
from an abusive relationshipreally started when I returned
from the car after going for awalk in the park with a friend.
And uh returning to the car, Ifound 12 missed calls on my
(06:05):
phone.
Uh I was terrified.
I called my husband because I Ithought, what had happened?
Something had seriously hadhappened.
But he answered, Where have youbeen?
What have you been doing?
Why haven't you been answeringyour phone?
You have a phone, pick it up.
I've been here waiting for mylunch.
(06:28):
So this conversation was abeginning of the end.
I've been lied to, financiallyabused, and told I was
worthless.
Mary (06:37):
Yeah.
And you had children too,right?
So there was a di there wasother there were other things
you really had to kind of beconcerned about, the caretaking
of the children, all of thatprobably complicated some
things.
Amanda (06:52):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And it impacts the children.
Yeah.
But we you know, don't tellyourself you'll stay for the
children, because what we teachour children in that situation
is that love equals abuse.
And one of my primarymotivations for leaving the
(07:15):
marriage was to show m mychildren the importance of
self-respect.
Mary (07:21):
Yeah.
Amanda (07:22):
But Mary, you know, as I I stop and I look back, um I um
was stopped really from seeingfriends a long time ago because
my husband didn't want me totake the primary role of being a
(07:44):
mother and looking after thehouse away.
So when I got married, I uh youknow, the big really the
biggest issue was the way Iinterpreted the science of uh
love.
Because when I got married, Iwas convinced of one thing that
(08:10):
my husband loved me.
When he called me 12 times aday to see where I was, what I
was doing, and and when I'd behome, in my mind, it showed me
that he loved and he cared forme when he was critical of the
friends um that I was seeingearly on in in the time that we
(08:32):
were um together.
Um I believed that he wasreally concerned for my
well-being.
Um, in truth, I think I had tobelieve that I was loved because
the alternative wasunthinkable.
(08:53):
It was like rendering my lifein meaninglessly.
So what happened is myhusband's behavior towards me
deteriorated.
I made excuses rather thanaccept the truth that what I
believed was love and aprotective nature was actually,
(09:16):
in fact, abuse and control.
And it happened so slowly.
Well, yes, and in my case,abuse grew slowly, yes, and it
starts out as one incident of ofdisrespect, uh, and then uh it
becomes two and three untileventually it becomes the way I
(09:40):
lived.
I mean, I was told I wasstupid, so it didn't take long
before I believed it, and thatmeant each time I was treated
badly, it became my faultbecause I thought if I was
better, things would be better.
So, what happens is theemotional abuse enables a
financial abuse because I wastoo scared to question my
(10:04):
husband's decisions, so I didwhat I was told, hoping he would
get better.
Mary (10:10):
Yeah, but it doesn't, right?
And it's interesting becausewhen you you talk about love,
and so I I tend to believe thatinitially we in in abusive
relationships, you are loved.
And I think then other thingscome into play.
So when you have somebody thatyou especially have committed
your life to and you trust andyou feel loves you, starts to
(10:33):
tell you things like you'restupid, yeah, you know, that
really can mess with your mindbecause you this is the person
you're supposed to trust.
And you know, and so it cancreate that self-doubt.
And the more you hear it andthe deeper you are into it,
that's where I think it becomesdifficult to kind of extricate
yourself and get yourself.
Well, you start to believe it.
Amanda (10:55):
And that is the thing.
I mean, when I look back, itseems unreal that I was would uh
accept the day-to-day realityback then.
I mean, I asked myself why?
Why did I tolerate what I knownow to be emotional and
financial abuse?
But the short answer is thatcontrol, uh, abuse took control
(11:17):
of my whole world.
Yeah, I no longer had areference point to be treated
with dignity and respect.
It became my new normal.
It was normal to be yelled at,it was normal to be told I was
stupid, it was normal never tomake my own decisions.
(11:38):
Yet the deeper answer as to whyI tolerated it, it was because
I had grown to believe that Ideserved to be treated that way.
Yeah.
Mary (11:52):
And I think it's easy to look at it from the outside and
think I would never let myselfget into that situation.
But it's like the idea of theputting the lobster in the pot
and then bringing it to a boil.
You don't really recognizewhat's happening until you're
like, holy, holy crap, like I'min a pot of boiling water.
And yeah, so you have mentionedfinancial abuse a couple of
(12:17):
times.
And part of reading throughyour information, when I saw
that, I'm like, yes, like thisis such an important aspect.
And so to give a littlecontext, and I want you to talk
about more about what thismeans, but when I think about
United States, so we women didnot have the ability to take out
loans, buy a house until 1973.
(12:38):
And for some people, that mightbe like, oh, that was a long
time ago.
For me, I was um six years oldat that point.
So it's it's really interestingto think that we didn't have
those rights.
And when you don't have theability to be financially
independent, I want you to thinkabout if you had no access to a
(13:01):
bank account, no access tomoney.
So that is part of abuse that Ithink we don't talk about.
So can you explain a littlewhat financial abuse means and
how that affected you?
Amanda (13:12):
Yeah, because whatever you think of domestic uh abuse,
it just uh you think of an imageof uh physical violence, but
that is an insidious form of uhcontrol and it's financial
abuse.
And what it does, it stripsaway your independence, it your
(13:35):
security, and your ability toescape the situation.
The emotional and socialconsequences are um still
unaddressed and unseen.
And I mean, many survivors likeI was, we suffer in silence
(13:56):
because of the lack of resourcesand the fear of judgment.
Um in Australia, one in fourpeople um uh suffer from
financial abuse.
And the thing, the problem is,I mean, studies have been taken
by the UNSW in um Sydney, andthe biggest problem is that
(14:19):
there is no clear definition ofwhat financial abuse is.
So there is no clear, uhthere's no um accurate or
consistent measures.
Mary (14:33):
Yeah.
Amanda (14:34):
So um yeah, so it's a really it's quite a big problem
here.
Um, and as you said, whathappens is withholding money, uh
withholding funds, uh, and theabusers um control all the
finances.
Mary (14:55):
Yeah.
Amanda (14:55):
Uh yes.
So leaving women with withoutfunds and sometimes for the
basic things, and also there'sum mounting hidden debts.
Mary (15:07):
Yeah.
Amanda (15:08):
Uh women often discover that their names are tied to
unauthorized credit cards andloans um accumulated by the
abuser.
And then there's also umeconomic isolation, and that's
(15:28):
by limiting the education andthe final literacy.
This is where the abusers trapwomen in that cycle of uh
dependency.
It's really important for womento step up and to find out what
is happening, what with thefinances, and do not sign
(15:52):
anything without fullyunderstanding what you are being
presented with.
Because my husband had my powerof attorney and use that to
secure loans and credit in myname.
Mary (16:07):
And did you say that you didn't even have a car that was
in your name?
There was no car keeping toyou.
Amanda (16:12):
Yeah, absolutely.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
The thing is, what happens issometimes we get too scared to
access money from the accountsor the credit cards without
permission, yeah, because of therepercussions being yelled at,
being made to feel small.
So you don't feel like you'reworthy because you have your
(16:36):
you've had your self-worth beingchipped away, you don't think
you're worthy enough to havemoney.
Mary (16:44):
Yeah.
And I think if if someonethinks about, okay, if you had
to today leave your home andjust leave, could you if you had
if you didn't have your creditcard, if you didn't have so you
know, we often hear stories, andI'll go to like movies or
books, we hear the stories ofwomen squirreling away money,
(17:06):
like they have to save cash.
They they have to plan to getout, which in itself, I'm
thinking, is quite stressfulbecause you know in your mind,
like here's my plan, but youneed to act in everyday life,
like that's not your plan.
So, how did you?
I know your story.
So you were walking in the parkwith a friend.
(17:27):
It's it's interesting thatsometimes simple things are the
eye-openers when we really lookat our lives.
So, how did you how did thisprocess work for you of getting
out of this situation?
Amanda (17:41):
I think well for the most powerful and step a woman
can take is to admit andacknowledge that she is in an
abusive relationship.
And it might sound simple tosomeone on the outside, but when
(18:03):
you are living in it, it is oneof the hardest truths to face
because we make excuses, wenormalize the behavior, we tell
ourselves it's not that bad,especially if there's no bruises
or broken bones to prove thepain.
But abuse, as I said, wearsmany masks, it's not always loud
(18:24):
or violent.
Yeah, yeah.
So I think it's uh by admittingit.
And once you admit it, youcrack open the door to freedom
by simply saying enough isenough, it starts to oh and you
(18:45):
don't have to, you might nothave all the answers.
You might not know what the totake the next step.
You you might not know how totake that next step, but by
simply saying enough, it opens adoor to freedom.
Yes, and the help is there,support is there.
(19:07):
So gradually, you know, it'sit's just about making a
decision that you deserve abetter life, and then do
whatever it takes to make thathappen.
And that means finding thatpart of you that still has
dreams for a good life and wantsto leave more than you want to
(19:28):
stay.
Yeah.
Mary (19:29):
Yeah, I think there's a lot of shame when you recognize
it.
I mean, I think that's part ofthe reason why many women know
on some level, but to be able tosort of step out and say, I,
and I think it is because ofthis socialized um idea of
strong women don't end up inabusive relationships, which is
(19:51):
totally untrue, 100% untrue.
Some of some very, very strongwomen have ended up in the
situation because, like we said,it's gradual.
And then once you're there,it's like, how did I get here?
Surely I'm strong enough to getmyself out of this, but it's
very complex.
And so I think the idea ofshame is very real.
(20:12):
But at the same time, yourstory can help people understand
that it's so, so common to endup on this path and there's
nothing shameful.
It's a human condition.
And then once you're yourecognize, like you're saying, I
don't want to live this way,then that's the first step.
(20:33):
So for you, what did that looklike?
How did you take that step?
Did you say something to yourhusband?
Was it more this internaldecision?
How did you turn that huge shiparound and go in another
direction?
Amanda (20:46):
Well, I just had enough.
Enough was, you know, Irealized it was enough.
And the final trigger was umhis infidelity.
And I don't know, Mary, iftoday I'd still be there if it
wasn't for that.
(21:07):
But I knew that wasn't right,that was my turning point.
Um, that was a time enough wasenough for me.
Yes.
And the fear of staying wasgreater than the fear of
leaving.
And I think when it gets tothat point, you just do whatever
(21:33):
you can.
And you you sometimes need toleave it up to others to
support.
And I think the most importantthing is to maintain strong
friendships because they are thebackbone to your path forward.
That's a very and start makingyour needs a priority.
(21:54):
For me, that was one step thatI really took.
And for me, that was walking inthe park.
That was connecting withfriends.
That was the only way that Icould actually stay the distance
to get through the process.
Mary (22:08):
Yeah.
Amanda (22:09):
Yeah.
Mary (22:10):
Well, and so this podcast, there's there's a community, I
feel like it's a community.
And when women I think canstand together, we are stronger.
So I would put sort of putthis, you know, out there to
anyone listening.
If you know someone who's inthis situation, it might not be
you, but I think abusers canmake a situation to like they
(22:34):
sort of set it up so that theydisconnect the person they're
abusing from their supports,their family, their friends.
And if you're that friend andyou sense something is wrong,
but your friend isn't ready tohear that, please keep the door
open because there could be aday where you know that behavior
(22:56):
isn't about you.
If they're stopped calling youor they make excuses and you
have that gut feeling, somethingis not right with Amanda,
something is not right withSusie, something, whatever it
is, please don't let that makeyou close the door if you know
that you know, there's thissense of something is not right.
Please be available if thatperson at some point needs to
(23:20):
have your support.
Yes.
Amanda (23:21):
And they will when they are ready.
Mary (23:24):
Yeah.
Amanda (23:25):
And it's just being there for them when they are
ready.
Mary (23:29):
Yeah.
Well, and I think it'sconfusing, like we talked about
in you know, in theintroduction, I think it's
confusing sometimes because wemistake certain actions as love.
So if somebody is a youngperson or new in a relationship
and there's the excitement andall the great stuff, but there's
starting to be this sense oflike, I don't, that didn't feel
(23:50):
great, but I think it's justbecause he loves me.
Can you give an idea?
Like, what are some alarm bellsthat someone might be an abuser
or you might be in an abusiverelationship?
Amanda (24:00):
Some of them are when you feel that you're um that you
feel that you're responsiblefor everything, that you're not
treated as an equal and youropinion doesn't count when you
are shamed regularly and toldyou're incompetent and stupid,
(24:22):
when you're made to feel asthough everything is your fault.
Oh yeah.
Mary (24:26):
Yeah, the gaslighting part.
Amanda (24:28):
Yes.
Mary (24:29):
Yeah, that's not no, that's not how it happened, and
you know that's how it happened.
Amanda (24:33):
Right.
Mary (24:33):
Yeah.
Amanda (24:34):
When you are denied regular access to friends and
shamed for having anyone out uhuh, you know, uh any other
person um from outside, comeinside.
I mean, you know, when you'reshamed for having that
friendship, when you um havelittle access to money, yeah,
(24:57):
yeah.
Or you need to ask for it.
Asking for money, begging formoney.
Mary (25:05):
And sometimes it can be thinking if if you're really
lost and really confused, it canbe thinking, would I treat my
partner that I loved this way?
Would I perpetrate thesebehaviors on that person, on
someone I loved, would I treatmy children this way?
And that can sometimes when wethat that makes it not about, is
am I overreacting?
(25:26):
Am I, you know, expectingsomething that isn't going to
happen?
I think it then can it's sortof like, what's the evidence?
Let's look at it, put it in adifferent context.
Would you treat somebody youlove in the ways you're being
treated?
And that can take out some ofthat emotion because usually the
answer is a resounding no.
I would never want someone tofeel this way, feel so reduced.
Amanda (25:51):
And only until we ask ourselves those questions do we
realize what has had is actuallyhappening.
Mary (25:58):
Yeah.
Amanda (25:59):
What is currently happening, yes.
Mary (26:01):
Yeah.
Amanda (26:02):
So it's acknowledging it, asking those sort of
questions to yourself.
Yeah.
Because real love doesn't feellike or look like control.
It took me years to understand.
If it feels like control, itis.
Mary (26:17):
Yeah.
And you know, the the term lovebombing isn't is newer.
Um, I think it came someprobably came from somewhere on
TikTok or whatever.
But I think it's a real thing,and and it's such a descriptive
term that in the beginning of arelationship, if you have that
happening, and this is not you,it's not necessarily universal,
(26:38):
but if you have this sense oflike everything is so intense,
and he wants to know where I amall the time, and oh my gosh,
look how much he really caresabout me.
That's not care, as you'resaying, that's control.
Amanda (26:51):
Absolutely, yeah, that is, yes, and it's recognizing
those signs.
You think it's you're special,he's caring, and how sweet.
But no, no, it's not, and Ithat is control, yeah, because
the situation I was in hadnothing to do with what I did or
(27:12):
what I didn't do, uh, or mybehavior.
It was simply because myhusband was a deeply insecure
man that needed absolutecontrol, and because of my lack
of self-worth, I chose to acceptit rather than question that.
(27:32):
So when you've been abused fora long time, you keep on
accepting it, even though youknow you shouldn't.
Mary (27:41):
Yeah.
Amanda (27:43):
Yeah.
Mary (27:44):
So I'm guessing you remember when that day of
reckoning came when you told himthis is not what you want
anymore.
Yes, yes.
It had to be.
Did you feelscared? Did you feel excited? I
I felt lighter.
Oh yeah.
Amanda (28:04):
Emotionally lighter, but I had a long way to go.
And in my book, I had 43pivotal days it took me to
change my life.
But these days I was pushed tomy limits, I was forced to make
decisions and move beyond mycomfort zone to create their
life.
Yeah.
(28:24):
But it was worth it.
It was worth it.
unknown (28:28):
Yeah.
Mary (28:28):
I I think many women, depending on their situation,
because yeah, it can be sexualabuse, it can be physical abuse,
it can be all and all thethings, financial, emotional.
Um, I think many women find itinconceivable to be where you
are, to have that sense offreedom because they are scared.
(28:50):
They are, like you said, cutoff from any financial support,
sometimes emotional support ofpeople that they need.
So that's the the way that youframe it as hopeful.
I think you know, that's abeautiful part of it, that you
can come through it.
Amanda (29:08):
Yes.
And for abuse to stop, start tobelieve in yourself and know
your worth.
You know, self-belief is iseverything to change your world.
Is it's a it's everything tochange your world.
It's easy to start blamingother people, but it's not until
(29:31):
you know you believe that youdeserve more and you won't
accept abuse any longer thatthings can actually start to
change.
Mary (29:43):
Yeah.
And finding supports, like yousaid, even if you feel like
you've been cut, you you've notinvested in friendships.
I'm guessing that you havesomeone that you know, someone
in an abuse situation hassomeone that they can say, you
know what, I I In a situation, Ineed help, I need support.
There are places you can go,places you can call.
(30:05):
But I think overcoming, asyou're saying, like this idea of
disempowerment, overcoming theshame that there are so many
women every single day thatrecognize they're in an abusive
situation, that get out of it,um, and sometimes don't
necessarily um some sometimesstay.
(30:28):
You know, so I think findingthe sense stay.
Yeah, finding what you need to,you know, get through that,
whether it's supports, you know,outside of family and friends,
um, depending how severe yoursituation is.
But yeah, I think it's thatlike you said originally, like
first calling it what it is,because you know, you love this
(30:51):
person, you marry them, and allof a sudden, you know, you get
this realization of wait asecond, this is actually not
love.
So, yeah, that's an importantpart of it.
Amanda (31:01):
Absolutely, yeah.
And it only takes one friend toto to make, you know, uh, and
uh my friend said, you know,that is disrespect.
She noticed it.
Mary (31:13):
Yeah, yeah, you had one person that was able to really
mirror that to you, right?
I did, yes, yeah.
Amanda (31:21):
You are not alone, there are safe people and places
ready to hold space for yourhealing, whether it's a a
woman's shelter, a supportsgroup, a counselor, a friend,
and someone like me, or somebodylike me who's walked this path
(31:42):
and wants to help you to to towalk beside you too.
Mary (31:46):
Yeah.
Amanda (31:47):
Yeah.
Mary (31:48):
Because part of the abuse is making you believe there's no
one, that he is the only orshe.
He they, your abuser is theonly one that is there for you.
And that's just not true.
Amanda (31:59):
Absolutely.
And the truth is you don't needuh permission to call it abuse.
If it feels wrong, if you feelsmall, silenced, controlled,
afraid, or constantlyquestioning your worth, that is
enough.
Yeah, you don't have to waitfor it to get worse.
(32:19):
Your feelings are valid andyour pain is real.
Once you acknowledge it, thatis the start.
That is the the the door opens,it cracks open the door to
freedom.
Mary (32:31):
Yep.
And you can even still lovethat person and understand maybe
what is causing them to be thatway and still decide you don't
want them in your life.
Love doesn't have yeah, itdoesn't love doesn't have to
mean suffering or giving up whatyou need.
Amanda (32:45):
And it doesn't no, no, no, no, but love is free, love
is kind, love is uh trusting,love is uh respectful and
empowering.
Yeah, yeah.
That's what love is.
Mary (33:00):
Well, Amanda, thank you for sharing your story.
Can you please tell peoplewhere they can find you?
Amanda (33:06):
Lovely.
Well, uh my uh website, if youwant to go on my website,
amandaj Scott.com, and that'swhere I have um a um blogs.
If you'd like to sign up for ablog update, or if you'd like to
find my book, it's sold, it'sthere and it's sold on all
(33:28):
platforms.
And tell us again the name ofyour book.
Finding my way back to me.
It's an easy, quick read, uh,but it's a powerful reminder
that we all deserve to betreated with kindness and
respect.
Mary (33:47):
All right.
Well, thank you.
Thank you for your story andfor sharing it.
And I want to thank everyonefor listening.
Please share this episode withany anyone who was on your mind
as you listened.
It could be the gentle nudge tohelp them feel seen or even
start to believe that they toocan have a different life.
And until next time, go outinto the world and be the
(34:07):
amazing, resilient, vibrantviolet that you are.
Popular Podcasts
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com