December 1, 2025 • 19 mins
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The holiday lights flip on and suddenly your pulse spikes. Between crowded calendars, complicated family dynamics, and the ache of people we miss, the season can feel less like a spark of joy and more like a storm front. We built this mini to offer a calmer way through: a clear, compassionate framework called C.A.L.M.—Centering, Anchors, Logistics, and Meaning—that helps you make choices you actually feel good about.
We start with centering so you can move from reflex to intention. Simple grounding practices and “pause” phrases protect your energy before you commit. From there, we explore anchors: the people, rituals, and small traditions that truly connect you to the season. Think heirloom recipes you want to keep, a candle lit for someone you love, or a time-capped visit that lets you show up without burning out. When you honor anchors, the holidays feel lived, not performed.
Next comes logistics, the quiet hero of a peaceful December. We share realistic planning steps, flexible timelines, and boundary scripts for invitations, budgets, and travel. You’ll hear how to right-size commitments, set gift expectations, and pivot toward experiences when more stuff isn’t the point. Finally, we lean into meaning—the forward-looking purpose you choose now. Whether you’re reimagining old patterns, making space for grief, or investing in experiences that outlast the wrapping paper, meaning becomes your filter for a season you can actually savor.
If holiday noise has drowned out what matters, consider subscribing to my CALM Holiday series. Or you can choose to purchase single episodes or even just the Resource folder.
Here's a link with more information and to get CALM today: https://www.patreon.com/collection/1860320
Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows
Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Wanna be a guest? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.
Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hi, and welcome to a mini episode of No Shrinking
Violets.
This episode is a littledifferent.
It's actually an overview of mycalm strategies to manage
holiday overwhelm.
And I put this together becausefirst I had so many clients that
struggled at this time of year,but I myself I love the
(00:24):
holidays, but my parents aren'twith us anymore.
And there I've just had a lot ofdifferent losses over the years.
And so sometimes the holidays tome feel bittersweet.
And I just feel like there arereally simple concepts that you
(00:48):
can access to connect to what'simportant to you and to find
ways to, I guess, create joy foryourself or find those little
windows of peace and figure outwhat the meaning for the
holidays truly are for you.
So what I have for you today isit's kind of like the intro or
(01:11):
the overview what my Calmholiday series means, and Calm
stands for four things to helpyou kind of remember, utilize
different strategies.
If you want to dig in more, Iactually put together a
five-episode series, and thefirst episode is just a repeat
of what you're going to heartoday, but the other four are
(01:35):
kind of expanding on what thefour elements of calm are.
And I also have a folder ofresources, so things that you
can use, which include a way tofigure out what's really
important, something tosymbolize what is meaningful to
you.
There's a calendar of littledaily things that are holiday
(02:00):
connected to help you just dosome mindful activities.
There's a lot of fun things inthere.
So it's one of my favoritethings to offer.
So if you want to dig in more,there's a link in the show notes
that takes you to my Patreon,which is where you can buy the
collection of the series if youwant more.
(02:20):
But I think today's mini willgive you a pretty good overview
and I think even start to getyou thinking about how you can
create more peace and have lessstress at the holidays.
So thanks for listening.
And here's my intro to my calmstrategies.
(02:41):
Hi, I'm Mary Rothwell, host ofthe No Shrinking Violets
podcast.
And I put together a calmholiday strategy to help you
transform your holidays.
So let me tell you a little bitabout why I did this, and then I
will give you an idea of whatwe're gonna cover in these
strategies to help you transformyour holidays from something
(03:04):
that's stressful or overwhelmingto something that can feel
really peaceful.
So I'm a therapist, and at thistime of year, I often have
people coming to me feelingtotally overwhelmed by the
holidays.
Sometimes this starts as earlyas mid-October, but often as we
(03:26):
get closer to the end of theyear, they come to me talking
about things like they need tosee these people that they
haven't seen since last holiday,or they have overstressed
themselves with commitments, orthey feel that some of the
(03:48):
expectations are too much forthem.
And we really get wrapped up innot only what we feel we're
expected to do, but we tend toget wrapped up also in the
meaning of the holiday.
What does it mean to us?
Do we think about things that wehave to do?
(04:11):
Do we think about the peoplethat we miss that aren't here
anymore?
Sometimes holidays come with alot of melancholy or sadness
because the people that we careabout or the times that maybe we
have fond memories of are past.
They're not here anymore.
(04:31):
Or there might be things aboutholiday time that didn't feel
good for you.
Maybe a lot of your memoriesaren't good.
But perhaps you have a partnernow who you want to create
memories with, or you havechildren and you want to make
the holidays have a specialmeaning for them.
We all come to this time of yearwith a different set of
(04:56):
expectations, a different set ofemotions.
And sometimes it can be it canbe confusing to understand why I
start to feel so stressed aboutthis?
What is happening?
What is going on?
How do I handle it?
Do I just have to grip my teethand get through it?
So whether it is Thanksgiving,Christmas, Hanukkah, just the
(05:16):
season in general, whatever youcelebrate, maybe you don't
really celebrate a specificholiday, but you still have
traditions around this time ofyear, but it can cause stress
and overwhelm.
So my calm holiday strategy, theword calm has the four
components that I'm gonna talkto you about in the next four
(05:38):
episodes of this um, I call it asecret podcast.
Um, so the first thing thatwe're gonna talk about in the
next um episode is center,centering, and that's the see in
calm.
And I'll tell you more aboutthis in a bit, but it is how to
basically ground yourself, howto stay present, how to decide
(06:02):
what you want to do with yourtime, what you want to commit
to, really feeling a sense ofbeing present, being connected.
Um, the A in calm is anchors.
And so when I think about theanchors of a holiday, it's what
connects you to that holiday,that meaning.
(06:23):
And meaning is actually the M.
We're gonna talk about thatmore.
But the anchors are the sort ofthe physical parts or the
procedural parts um of theholiday.
So that might be the people thatgive it meaning.
Um, it might be the traditionsthat you have.
Do you always go and get aChristmas tree at a certain
(06:43):
place with certain people?
Do you have specific recipes?
And it's funny when we thinkabout recipes.
I would guess nearly everyonehas one or two holiday recipes.
My mom was an amazing cookiemaker.
So my sister makes her sugarcookies.
We call them sugar cakes becausethey really are like mini cakes.
And I make her sand tarts, whichis a recipe that's over a
(07:06):
hundred years old.
And I'm gonna tell you it's apain in the butt, but when
they're done, they're wonderful.
So I don't always look forwardto the sand tarts, but I do fun
things like try to find as manycolors of sugar as possible or
as many different shapes thatrelate to the Christmas holiday.
So I try to make it fun, but Iknow how important it is to
(07:28):
certain people because this isthe only time of year we eat
these cookies.
So we're gonna talk about how doyou manage those kinds of
things, those expectations.
But anchors are the things thatwhen you think about the
holidays, what connects you tothat?
What are the people, the events,the recipes, the traditions?
Then the L in calm is logistics.
(07:49):
And sometimes this is the mostimportant thing because we can
tend to not plan or we canthink, oh my gosh, I have six
weeks, it's all good.
And I can tell you that theyears that I need to host my
family, we celebrate onChristmas Eve, there are upwards
of 20 people, and often thereare new people in the mix,
(08:11):
depending if someone's, youknow, some of the young ones are
dating someone new.
But preparing for that, and forme, I've had years where I've
made uh like 12 kinds ofcookies, so that's dozens and
dozens of cookies, and I wouldhave to make a list.
Here's all the ingredients Ineed, this amount of sticks of
(08:35):
butter, or how many cups ofsugar, like all of those things.
But I think with anything, beingprepared and having a strategy
can really help ease the stressof the holidays because
sometimes it's just that we'veovercommitted or we didn't
(08:58):
remember.
Oh, I have all these gifts towrap.
So that is what we're gonna talkabout in logistics.
And finally, the M is meaning.
And again, that does tie to theanchors a lot, but meaning is
very forward-thinking.
You get to decide what theholidays mean for you going
forward.
So, overall, I think about theholiday time as being about
(09:21):
three Ps.
It's about more people, morepresence, and more parties.
We tend to see people at theholidays that we don't usually
see.
And I think the commercials oroften social media will paint
that as something really happy.
(09:42):
You know, the the Folgerscommercials or the Hallmark
commercials show somebody cominghome and surprising the family
early.
That's all well and good if thatis a happy, positive
relationship.
But again, as somebody who'sworked in the mental health
field for over three decades,it's not always happy.
Those people don't always bringwith them good memories.
(10:05):
But it's just more of that.
It's more people, it's moreparties.
And some people love that, butother people are exhausted by it
or they want to say no, but theyfeel guilty or they don't know
how to say no because my gosh, Ionly see these people once a
year.
So we'll talk about how tomanage that for yourself.
You don't have to go zero to 50.
(10:28):
You could go to a party and puta time limit on it.
So there's a lot of things thatwe can do to manage that.
It's also okay to say no.
And when we think aboutholidays, we often think about
gifts, gift giving, which iswonderful, but it's also
stressful if you haven't plannedfinancially or if you feel like
(10:48):
there's an expectation to planor to spend a certain amount of
money.
And what my family has startedto do recently is we're
investing in experiences.
So we don't give as manyphysical gifts.
We still do like a fun littlegive and take game with
sometimes some goofy gifts, butthat's one of our traditions
(11:11):
that we love.
But the actual gift giving forsome people has become really
stressful.
I actually love gift giving.
I think it's just one of my kindof love languages.
But I also respect that as we'reall getting older, we want to
invest in experiences together.
So people are really intentionalin thinking about what we can do
(11:31):
during the year where weactually are with each other and
we're making memories instead ofgiving physical gifts.
So, overall, when I think aboutthe holidays, one way I can
think about it is we're clickingto the top of the roller
coaster.
So we're holding our breath.
And some of us are dreading theplunge down the other side.
You know, when we hear the firstfew notes of the first holiday
(11:55):
song or the first Christmassong, some people are excited by
that.
Other people are like, oh, herewe go because it's only November
1st.
So if you love roller coasters,you're excited.
But also, it can make you sick.
So maybe you love rollercoasters, you're plunging down
the other side, you're excited,but then after a while, you're
(12:16):
like, oh my God, this is like,when is this gonna end?
So any way you feel is okay.
It's just figuring out how doyou recognize it and how do you
deal with it.
So instead of a roller coaster,however, I think of the holiday
as more like a hurricane.
So when a hurricane is coming,you often hear on the weather
(12:39):
channel or the news that peopledecide they're not evacuating,
they're not preparing, they'rejust hunkering down.
And I think there are somepeople that deal with the
holiday by just hunkering down.
I'm just gonna get through it,I'm just gonna go through the
motions.
But instead, being prepared,which means fortifying yourself.
(13:01):
So how do you plan ahead?
And that's gonna be a lot of thelogistics we talk about.
But how do you sort of protectyourself?
And by protecting, I don't meanjust checking out, unless you
really feel like you want to dothat.
But when you protect yourself,you're basically saying these
(13:21):
things are a priority, and alsoknowing that some things you may
choose to just do because it'sbetter to be there and do it
than to say no, thank you.
But it's putting guardrails onthings.
And so, as part of ourlogistics, we're gonna talk
about how to set boundariesbecause sometimes you can be put
(13:46):
in a position that you no longerwant to be in.
Maybe everybody assumes you'regoing to be the one to host
certain things, or you're alwaysgoing to bring the sand tarts,
which I can tell you take aboutfour hours to make.
So learning how to just to beflexible and to have a capacity
(14:06):
to be able to do these thingsthat are important while at the
same time balancing your need tosay no, to make a boundary, to
maybe not do one of the thingsthat you typically have done in
the past.
So we're gonna dive into that alittle bit.
And I think the other part aboutboundaries is being able to
(14:29):
communicate that.
So one of the things that I wantto have you think about and
maybe sort of remember as we gothrough this is that life
happens through you, not to you.
So sometimes it can feel likehere comes the hurricane, or oh
my gosh, I'm on the rollercoaster, it's coming to the top,
(14:52):
it's soon gonna plunge down theother side.
And it can feel like you'repowerless.
But these things aren'thappening to you, they're
happening through you.
So there are things that you cando along the way.
All these things that I sort ofgave you a little sneak peek of,
all those things are things thatwith a little attention, you can
gain a sense of control and asense of peace as you go into
(15:16):
the different episodes of thecalm strategy.
So again, we're gonna talk aboutcentering, which is kind of like
mindfulness, so that if you areable to give yourself a firm
foundation, be really connectedto your present, your body,
being able to maybe start eachday with something that is just
(15:40):
a quiet time before some of thecraziness might happen.
It's a much stronger place tostart from.
We're gonna talk about theanchors.
What are the things that havemeant something to you that you
want to prioritize?
What connects you to what'simportant to you in the holiday?
And it might be a littledifferent than the rest of your
life.
(16:01):
You might have certain people inyour life that you tend to keep
a distance from, but maybeduring the holidays you
recognize I need to let them ina little closer for a day or
two.
We can talk about how to dothat.
Then the third episode, which isactually episode four, but the
third part of Calm is logistics.
(16:22):
How do you manage to keep on topof that centeredness, that
groundedness, and prioritizingwhat you want?
How do you manage your time?
How do you manage your money?
And how do you manage thecommunication of where your
boundaries are and what youneed?
And then again, the M ismeaning.
(16:47):
So that'll go a little bitdeeper, but connected to those
anchors about what is importantto you, what is not only the
meaning that your holidays hadin the past, but if they didn't
feel good, or you need to sortof reimagine that, or you want
to reimagine it, what meaning doyou want it to have now?
(17:08):
So going forward, what do youwant to create?
So before you start the nextepisode, The Sea in Calm, which
is center, I want you to thinkabout those four areas.
As I talked about them, did onefeel like it was going to be
more of a challenge for you?
Do you think you'll forget tomaybe check in with yourself to
(17:30):
stay grounded, to stayconnected?
Do you think you might strugglewith anchors?
Do you feel a lot of pressure tomaintain traditions or maintain
um traditions or those recipes?
Do you tend to feel overwhelmedby trying to do all the things?
Or do you perhaps feel sad?
(17:52):
So, what are those anchors foryou and how do they feel?
The logistics, is this where youthink you're gonna get hung up?
Are you someone who overcommitsor you tend not to break things
down into steps?
Or you do that so rigidly thatif something happens, you get
sick, a kid gets sick, um, youroven doesn't work, you know,
(18:19):
different things.
You don't get the one gift inthe mail that you planned to
get.
Um, you don't get it in time.
You know, there's a lot ofthings that can derail a plan if
it's too rigid.
So we'll talk about logisticsand finally the meaning.
And again, tied closely toanchors.
(18:40):
What is your forward thinkingabout this?
What do you want the holidays tobe about for you or for you and
a partner, or maybe for yourkids?
You get to decide that.
We're gonna jump into the nextepisode by talking about the sea
and calm, which is centering.
So I will see you there.
Hi, and welcome to a mini episode of No Shrinking
Violets.
This episode is a littledifferent.
It's actually an overview of mycalm strategies to manage
holiday overwhelm.
And I put this together becausefirst I had so many clients that
struggled at this time of year,but I myself I love the
(00:24):
holidays, but my parents aren'twith us anymore.
And there I've just had a lot ofdifferent losses over the years.
And so sometimes the holidays tome feel bittersweet.
And I just feel like there arereally simple concepts that you
(00:48):
can access to connect to what'simportant to you and to find
ways to, I guess, create joy foryourself or find those little
windows of peace and figure outwhat the meaning for the
holidays truly are for you.
So what I have for you today isit's kind of like the intro or
(01:11):
the overview what my Calmholiday series means, and Calm
stands for four things to helpyou kind of remember, utilize
different strategies.
If you want to dig in more, Iactually put together a
five-episode series, and thefirst episode is just a repeat
of what you're going to heartoday, but the other four are
(01:35):
kind of expanding on what thefour elements of calm are.
And I also have a folder ofresources, so things that you
can use, which include a way tofigure out what's really
important, something tosymbolize what is meaningful to
you.
There's a calendar of littledaily things that are holiday
(02:00):
connected to help you just dosome mindful activities.
There's a lot of fun things inthere.
So it's one of my favoritethings to offer.
So if you want to dig in more,there's a link in the show notes
that takes you to my Patreon,which is where you can buy the
collection of the series if youwant more.
(02:20):
But I think today's mini willgive you a pretty good overview
and I think even start to getyou thinking about how you can
create more peace and have lessstress at the holidays.
So thanks for listening.
And here's my intro to my calmstrategies.
(02:41):
Hi, I'm Mary Rothwell, host ofthe No Shrinking Violets
podcast.
And I put together a calmholiday strategy to help you
transform your holidays.
So let me tell you a little bitabout why I did this, and then I
will give you an idea of whatwe're gonna cover in these
strategies to help you transformyour holidays from something
(03:04):
that's stressful or overwhelmingto something that can feel
really peaceful.
So I'm a therapist, and at thistime of year, I often have
people coming to me feelingtotally overwhelmed by the
holidays.
Sometimes this starts as earlyas mid-October, but often as we
(03:26):
get closer to the end of theyear, they come to me talking
about things like they need tosee these people that they
haven't seen since last holiday,or they have overstressed
themselves with commitments, orthey feel that some of the
(03:48):
expectations are too much forthem.
And we really get wrapped up innot only what we feel we're
expected to do, but we tend toget wrapped up also in the
meaning of the holiday.
What does it mean to us?
Do we think about things that wehave to do?
(04:11):
Do we think about the peoplethat we miss that aren't here
anymore?
Sometimes holidays come with alot of melancholy or sadness
because the people that we careabout or the times that maybe we
have fond memories of are past.
They're not here anymore.
(04:31):
Or there might be things aboutholiday time that didn't feel
good for you.
Maybe a lot of your memoriesaren't good.
But perhaps you have a partnernow who you want to create
memories with, or you havechildren and you want to make
the holidays have a specialmeaning for them.
We all come to this time of yearwith a different set of
(04:56):
expectations, a different set ofemotions.
And sometimes it can be it canbe confusing to understand why I
start to feel so stressed aboutthis?
What is happening?
What is going on?
How do I handle it?
Do I just have to grip my teethand get through it?
So whether it is Thanksgiving,Christmas, Hanukkah, just the
(05:16):
season in general, whatever youcelebrate, maybe you don't
really celebrate a specificholiday, but you still have
traditions around this time ofyear, but it can cause stress
and overwhelm.
So my calm holiday strategy, theword calm has the four
components that I'm gonna talkto you about in the next four
(05:38):
episodes of this um, I call it asecret podcast.
Um, so the first thing thatwe're gonna talk about in the
next um episode is center,centering, and that's the see in
calm.
And I'll tell you more aboutthis in a bit, but it is how to
basically ground yourself, howto stay present, how to decide
(06:02):
what you want to do with yourtime, what you want to commit
to, really feeling a sense ofbeing present, being connected.
Um, the A in calm is anchors.
And so when I think about theanchors of a holiday, it's what
connects you to that holiday,that meaning.
(06:23):
And meaning is actually the M.
We're gonna talk about thatmore.
But the anchors are the sort ofthe physical parts or the
procedural parts um of theholiday.
So that might be the people thatgive it meaning.
Um, it might be the traditionsthat you have.
Do you always go and get aChristmas tree at a certain
(06:43):
place with certain people?
Do you have specific recipes?
And it's funny when we thinkabout recipes.
I would guess nearly everyonehas one or two holiday recipes.
My mom was an amazing cookiemaker.
So my sister makes her sugarcookies.
We call them sugar cakes becausethey really are like mini cakes.
And I make her sand tarts, whichis a recipe that's over a
(07:06):
hundred years old.
And I'm gonna tell you it's apain in the butt, but when
they're done, they're wonderful.
So I don't always look forwardto the sand tarts, but I do fun
things like try to find as manycolors of sugar as possible or
as many different shapes thatrelate to the Christmas holiday.
So I try to make it fun, but Iknow how important it is to
(07:28):
certain people because this isthe only time of year we eat
these cookies.
So we're gonna talk about how doyou manage those kinds of
things, those expectations.
But anchors are the things thatwhen you think about the
holidays, what connects you tothat?
What are the people, the events,the recipes, the traditions?
Then the L in calm is logistics.
(07:49):
And sometimes this is the mostimportant thing because we can
tend to not plan or we canthink, oh my gosh, I have six
weeks, it's all good.
And I can tell you that theyears that I need to host my
family, we celebrate onChristmas Eve, there are upwards
of 20 people, and often thereare new people in the mix,
(08:11):
depending if someone's, youknow, some of the young ones are
dating someone new.
But preparing for that, and forme, I've had years where I've
made uh like 12 kinds ofcookies, so that's dozens and
dozens of cookies, and I wouldhave to make a list.
Here's all the ingredients Ineed, this amount of sticks of
(08:35):
butter, or how many cups ofsugar, like all of those things.
But I think with anything, beingprepared and having a strategy
can really help ease the stressof the holidays because
sometimes it's just that we'veovercommitted or we didn't
(08:58):
remember.
Oh, I have all these gifts towrap.
So that is what we're gonna talkabout in logistics.
And finally, the M is meaning.
And again, that does tie to theanchors a lot, but meaning is
very forward-thinking.
You get to decide what theholidays mean for you going
forward.
So, overall, I think about theholiday time as being about
(09:21):
three Ps.
It's about more people, morepresence, and more parties.
We tend to see people at theholidays that we don't usually
see.
And I think the commercials oroften social media will paint
that as something really happy.
(09:42):
You know, the the Folgerscommercials or the Hallmark
commercials show somebody cominghome and surprising the family
early.
That's all well and good if thatis a happy, positive
relationship.
But again, as somebody who'sworked in the mental health
field for over three decades,it's not always happy.
Those people don't always bringwith them good memories.
(10:05):
But it's just more of that.
It's more people, it's moreparties.
And some people love that, butother people are exhausted by it
or they want to say no, but theyfeel guilty or they don't know
how to say no because my gosh, Ionly see these people once a
year.
So we'll talk about how tomanage that for yourself.
You don't have to go zero to 50.
(10:28):
You could go to a party and puta time limit on it.
So there's a lot of things thatwe can do to manage that.
It's also okay to say no.
And when we think aboutholidays, we often think about
gifts, gift giving, which iswonderful, but it's also
stressful if you haven't plannedfinancially or if you feel like
(10:48):
there's an expectation to planor to spend a certain amount of
money.
And what my family has startedto do recently is we're
investing in experiences.
So we don't give as manyphysical gifts.
We still do like a fun littlegive and take game with
sometimes some goofy gifts, butthat's one of our traditions
(11:11):
that we love.
But the actual gift giving forsome people has become really
stressful.
I actually love gift giving.
I think it's just one of my kindof love languages.
But I also respect that as we'reall getting older, we want to
invest in experiences together.
So people are really intentionalin thinking about what we can do
(11:31):
during the year where weactually are with each other and
we're making memories instead ofgiving physical gifts.
So, overall, when I think aboutthe holidays, one way I can
think about it is we're clickingto the top of the roller
coaster.
So we're holding our breath.
And some of us are dreading theplunge down the other side.
You know, when we hear the firstfew notes of the first holiday
(11:55):
song or the first Christmassong, some people are excited by
that.
Other people are like, oh, herewe go because it's only November
1st.
So if you love roller coasters,you're excited.
But also, it can make you sick.
So maybe you love rollercoasters, you're plunging down
the other side, you're excited,but then after a while, you're
(12:16):
like, oh my God, this is like,when is this gonna end?
So any way you feel is okay.
It's just figuring out how doyou recognize it and how do you
deal with it.
So instead of a roller coaster,however, I think of the holiday
as more like a hurricane.
So when a hurricane is coming,you often hear on the weather
(12:39):
channel or the news that peopledecide they're not evacuating,
they're not preparing, they'rejust hunkering down.
And I think there are somepeople that deal with the
holiday by just hunkering down.
I'm just gonna get through it,I'm just gonna go through the
motions.
But instead, being prepared,which means fortifying yourself.
(13:01):
So how do you plan ahead?
And that's gonna be a lot of thelogistics we talk about.
But how do you sort of protectyourself?
And by protecting, I don't meanjust checking out, unless you
really feel like you want to dothat.
But when you protect yourself,you're basically saying these
(13:21):
things are a priority, and alsoknowing that some things you may
choose to just do because it'sbetter to be there and do it
than to say no, thank you.
But it's putting guardrails onthings.
And so, as part of ourlogistics, we're gonna talk
about how to set boundariesbecause sometimes you can be put
(13:46):
in a position that you no longerwant to be in.
Maybe everybody assumes you'regoing to be the one to host
certain things, or you're alwaysgoing to bring the sand tarts,
which I can tell you take aboutfour hours to make.
So learning how to just to beflexible and to have a capacity
(14:06):
to be able to do these thingsthat are important while at the
same time balancing your need tosay no, to make a boundary, to
maybe not do one of the thingsthat you typically have done in
the past.
So we're gonna dive into that alittle bit.
And I think the other part aboutboundaries is being able to
(14:29):
communicate that.
So one of the things that I wantto have you think about and
maybe sort of remember as we gothrough this is that life
happens through you, not to you.
So sometimes it can feel likehere comes the hurricane, or oh
my gosh, I'm on the rollercoaster, it's coming to the top,
(14:52):
it's soon gonna plunge down theother side.
And it can feel like you'repowerless.
But these things aren'thappening to you, they're
happening through you.
So there are things that you cando along the way.
All these things that I sort ofgave you a little sneak peek of,
all those things are things thatwith a little attention, you can
gain a sense of control and asense of peace as you go into
(15:16):
the different episodes of thecalm strategy.
So again, we're gonna talk aboutcentering, which is kind of like
mindfulness, so that if you areable to give yourself a firm
foundation, be really connectedto your present, your body,
being able to maybe start eachday with something that is just
(15:40):
a quiet time before some of thecraziness might happen.
It's a much stronger place tostart from.
We're gonna talk about theanchors.
What are the things that havemeant something to you that you
want to prioritize?
What connects you to what'simportant to you in the holiday?
And it might be a littledifferent than the rest of your
life.
(16:01):
You might have certain people inyour life that you tend to keep
a distance from, but maybeduring the holidays you
recognize I need to let them ina little closer for a day or
two.
We can talk about how to dothat.
Then the third episode, which isactually episode four, but the
third part of Calm is logistics.
(16:22):
How do you manage to keep on topof that centeredness, that
groundedness, and prioritizingwhat you want?
How do you manage your time?
How do you manage your money?
And how do you manage thecommunication of where your
boundaries are and what youneed?
And then again, the M ismeaning.
(16:47):
So that'll go a little bitdeeper, but connected to those
anchors about what is importantto you, what is not only the
meaning that your holidays hadin the past, but if they didn't
feel good, or you need to sortof reimagine that, or you want
to reimagine it, what meaning doyou want it to have now?
(17:08):
So going forward, what do youwant to create?
So before you start the nextepisode, The Sea in Calm, which
is center, I want you to thinkabout those four areas.
As I talked about them, did onefeel like it was going to be
more of a challenge for you?
Do you think you'll forget tomaybe check in with yourself to
(17:30):
stay grounded, to stayconnected?
Do you think you might strugglewith anchors?
Do you feel a lot of pressure tomaintain traditions or maintain
um traditions or those recipes?
Do you tend to feel overwhelmedby trying to do all the things?
Or do you perhaps feel sad?
(17:52):
So, what are those anchors foryou and how do they feel?
The logistics, is this where youthink you're gonna get hung up?
Are you someone who overcommitsor you tend not to break things
down into steps?
Or you do that so rigidly thatif something happens, you get
sick, a kid gets sick, um, youroven doesn't work, you know,
(18:19):
different things.
You don't get the one gift inthe mail that you planned to
get.
Um, you don't get it in time.
You know, there's a lot ofthings that can derail a plan if
it's too rigid.
So we'll talk about logisticsand finally the meaning.
And again, tied closely toanchors.
(18:40):
What is your forward thinkingabout this?
What do you want the holidays tobe about for you or for you and
a partner, or maybe for yourkids?
You get to decide that.
We're gonna jump into the nextepisode by talking about the sea
and calm, which is centering.
So I will see you there.
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