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Have you ever found yourself deeply disappointed by someone who behaved exactly as they always do? That moment when you share exciting news with a loved one, only to have them immediately make it about themselves—again. That's exactly what we're diving into today.
"Expecting the expected" might sound like settling for less, but it's actually a pathway to freedom. Drawing from over three decades in mental health and my own lived experiences, I explore how we often create idealized versions of our relationships that don't match reality. Through a revealing client story about a mother who consistently failed to celebrate her daughter's achievements, we examine why we keep hoping people will suddenly become someone they've never been.
This mini-episode isn't about giving up on relationships—it's about seeing them clearly. When someone shows you who they are repeatedly, the disappointment isn't in their behavior; it's in the gap between reality and your expectations. Whether it's a parent who can't stop centering themselves, a friend who always cancels plans, or a partner who dismisses your feelings, recognizing patterns allows you to make conscious choices about your emotional investment.
The real transformation happens when you stop trying to change others and start honoring your own needs. Sometimes this means leaning away instead of leaning in. Sometimes it means maintaining boundaries while adjusting expectations. And in truly toxic situations, it might mean stepping back entirely. Whatever you choose, it comes from a place of clarity rather than wishful thinking.
Text me your thoughts using the link in the show notes, and join me next week for another bite-sized reflection on taking up your space—mind, body, and spirit.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
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