Finding Solutions with The Miracle Question

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What if the fix you’re craving starts with a scene, not a plan? We explore a simple, powerful tool from solution-focused therapy—the miracle question—that helps you picture the version of your life where the problem is gone, then trace gentle, practical steps back to today. Instead of circling what’s wrong, we anchor in vivid details: what you see, who’s with you, how your body feels, and the first small sign that tells you change has already begun.

We walk through a relatable relationship example to show how the lens shift works. The imagined “after-miracle” morning isn’t grand—just coffee on the porch, lighter shoulders, a shared meme, a warmer tone. From there, we translate insight into action: extend a low-pressure invitation, create a tiny ritual, or offer one sincere line that reconnects without forcing big talks. Along the way, we highlight strengths and resources you already have, use scaling to measure progress without perfectionism, and show how to course-correct when a step doesn’t land. The goal is momentum, not magic—small moves that compound into a different daily feel.

If your mind keeps reciting barriers, this practice gives it a new job: spot openings. Whether you want calmer mornings, kinder conversations, or sharper focus, the miracle question turns vague wishes into clear markers and doable steps. Try it today: picture the scene, name the first sign, choose the easiest action, and repeat. We’d love to hear what changed for you—text us via the link in the show notes or email [e-mail]. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with someone who needs a hopeful nudge, and leave a quick review so more listeners can find these tools.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hi, and welcome to a mini episode of No Shrinking
Violets.
One of my favorite therapyframeworks is solution focused.
And I love it because, first ofall, what is implied in the name
is that we're looking forsolutions.
And I think so often in life weare focused on what is wrong
instead of what we can do tochange it.

(00:24):
I actually had a boss a longtime ago.
I used the word boss, she was aprincipal at the high school
where I worked, and she waslivid one day about something
that had happened.
And she said to this, to thecounseling staff, you need to
come to me with solutions, notproblems.
So anyway, that stuck with mefor 20 years.

(00:45):
But I do love solution focusedbecause what that does is as the
therapist, you're helping theclient focus on what their
strengths are and what optionsthey have to solve a problem.
So I'm going to tell you aboutone of my favorite parts of
solution-focused therapy, andit's called the miracle

(01:07):
question.
So I'm going to tell you thekind of the parts of it, and
maybe you can think of somethingthat is a problem for you right
now, something that you'retrying to figure out how to make
your way through it.
This might help a little bit.
So the first thing that I wantyou to do is imagine that

(01:30):
situation.
And then imagine a miracleoccurs overnight.
So that when you wake up in themorning, the problem is solved.
So again, think about what wouldbe different.
So you go to sleep, you wake upin the morning, the issue that
you had is just solved.

(01:50):
Everything's fine.
You see it as you want it to be.
So the first thing that you wantto do is notice what is
different.
How do you know that a miraclehappened?
What do you see in this scene?
And then think about thedetails.
So focus on in this scenariowhere the problem has been

(02:18):
solved, what are you doing?
Who would you be with?
How would you be feeling?
So really immerse yourself inthe details of what that would
be like for this problem to bedifferent.
And you want to look at what isthe first sign that a miracle

(02:44):
has occurred.
So let me try to think of aframework.
I'm doing this on the fly.
I actually did not think thisthrough before I sat down and
turned on the microphone.
So let's say that you're in asituation where you and your
partner have not beencommunicating well for a long

(03:06):
time.
And typically in that situation,you might really be focused on
the feelings of alienation orpain or um maybe a yearning of
like you remember that thereused to be good communication,
but there's a lot of things inthe way.
So for you, if you have asituation like this, you may

(03:29):
wake up in the morning afteryour miracle occurred, and you
might see you and your partnersitting there together having
coffee.
You might be, if you're a socialmedia person, you might be
sharing funny things you'reseeing.
Um, if you sit and read thenewspaper, you might be talking

(03:49):
about that.
You might just simply be sittingoutside enjoying the day and
talking about what has beenhappening in your own day.
And if you see the two of you ina situation like that where
you're the feeling you havemight be a feeling of
connection.

(04:10):
Um, you would be sitting theredoing something where you're
both relaxed, you're enjoyingthat space together, and
obviously the person you wouldbe with would be your partner.
So think about what might havehappened to get you to that
point.
So it might have been that oneof you extended the invitation.

(04:31):
Hey, what if if tomorrow morningwe just take a take some time in
the morning before we go do X,whatever you typically do in a
day.
And we just sit out, it'ssupposed to be a nice morning,
let's just sit out on the porch.
That is a first action step.
And it seems very simple, butsometimes when we are immersed
in what we think of as aproblem, we are just focusing on

(04:55):
what are the barriers to gettingwhere we want to get.
So when we can start to see thepicture of what we want it to
look like, then we can start tolook at, okay, well, then how do
we get there?
And that's very much whatsolution focused is about.
And then you might think about,you know, what is the next step?

(05:16):
And that might be to just say,you know, I really like sitting
here with you.
I miss doing this.
Anything that is going toconnect.
And what it's really trying tofocus on is thinking about what
are your resources?
Because sometimes we get lost insomething and we forget that we

(05:37):
can find our own way out.
And it also focuses onstrengths.
And that's another thing I loveabout solution focus.
So we're picturing what we wantlife to be like, and we're
shifting from what is a problemto what is the solution look
like.
So maybe try that for yourself.

(05:58):
You know, kind of play aroundwith it.
Think about some things that foryou feel like they're taking up
some mental real estate becauseyou're worried about them, or
you've started to um really feellike something has to happen
here, but I don't know what todo.
So instead of dwelling on whatare those barriers or what feels

(06:20):
bad, use the miracle question.
If you woke up tomorrow morningand things were like you want
them to be, what would that looklike?
What would it feel like, and whowould you be with?
And then start to break it downinto what are the steps that
might have happened to get youthere.
If you have any thoughts orcomments about the miracle

(06:43):
question or how it worked foryou, I would love to hear.
You can either text me at thelink in the show notes.
I can't answer those texts, butum you can text me that way, or
I have an email address,nsvpodcast at gmail.com.
Feel free to drop me a linethere.
I would love to hear how thisworked for you or what comments

(07:06):
you have, or even if you haveany ideas for a mini in the
future.
I would just love to hear that.
So until next time, go out intothe world and be the amazing,
resilient, vibrant violet thatyou are.