Intentional Holidays: Traditions, Boundaries, And What Really Matters

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The calendar is racing, the daylight is fading, and the pressure to do it all is loud. After returning from a trip to visit a 99‑year‑old father‑in‑law, we sit down for a short, heartfelt reflection on how to navigate the holiday rush with intention. If your plans include hosting, caregiving, tight timelines, or all of the above, this conversation offers simple, human ways to slow down and reclaim what matters.

We unpack the pull to recreate every tradition and every recipe “the way it’s always been,” and we talk honestly about what gets lost when we chase perfection. From planning a 20‑person Christmas Eve to managing family health concerns, we share how we’re simplifying menus, resisting consumer pressure, and choosing rituals that fit our lives now. You’ll hear practical ideas for setting boundaries, saying no without guilt, and designing a season around presence rather than performance. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, the winter solstice, or none at all, you’ll find encouragement to name your values before the noise decides for you.

Shorter days can be an ally. Nature cues us to rest, cozy up, and move at a gentler pace—and we explore how to build that into a realistic week: earlier bedtimes, quiet evening rituals, tech‑light moments, and gatherings that highlight connection over consumption. Most of all, we reaffirm a simple truth: the memories that last come from who’s around the table, not how many dishes are on it. If you’re ready to trade overwhelm for intention and end the year with more ease, this one’s for you.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a calmer season, and leave a quick review telling us one tradition you’re keeping and one you’re letting go.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hi, welcome to a mini episode of No Shrinking
Violets.
So I walked in the door about 20minutes ago from a trip to see
my husband's father.
We live in Pennsylvania.
He lives in Ohio.
He is 99 years old.
And normally I plan ahead.

(00:21):
I rarely record an episode.
Well, not a full-length one forsure, but I rarely even record a
mini episode less than, oh mygosh, now it's 12 hours till
it's going to be live.
But this time of year, as we gointo Thanksgiving and then the

(00:44):
Christmas holiday at the end ofthe year, it feels like the
roller coaster coming down theother side of the hill after it
has clicked to the top.
And it just gains more and moremomentum as things get towards
the bottom.
And I'm guessing that you canrelate.

(01:08):
So we're hosting our family thisyear.
We celebrate on Christmas Eve.
And it's often about 20 people.
I know many of you probably havelarger gatherings, but that is
something that needs to beplanned for.
We have some pretty significantthings before that, including a

(01:30):
family member who is very dear,dear to us, that's having some
major surgery.
So there are a lot of thingshappening.
And it always makes me thinkabout how I want to be
intentional for this time of theyear, because even if you don't
celebrate some type of year-endholiday, whether it's Hanukkah

(01:54):
or Christmas or Kwanzaa orwhatever it might be, I think
about the winter solsticebecause you know I'm a nature
girl.
And the days are certainly quiteshort.
But I try to really focus onwhat that means as far as rest.

(02:17):
And we certainly need to slowdown because I mean, right now
it's a quarter of 8 p.m.
And so I would be probably stilloutside if it was summer.
But when it gets dark sooner,there's a lot more cozying up, a
lot more tea drinking.
So I try to really focus on howI want to spend my days and

(02:40):
making sure that when I look ateach day, or especially when I
look at things a week at a time,how am I going to have time in
there that is really for restand to slow down because it is
what we need?
And you know, often I talk aboutrest and the cycle of nature,
and our trees are starting toget ready to rest now because

(03:02):
there are so many leaves on ourlawn right now.
But as you're thinking about theend of the year, the days being
shorter, wherever you are,whatever you celebrate, think
about the concept ofintentionality.
What do holidays mean for you ifyou celebrate?
Because often, especially in oursocial world, there is such a

(03:27):
huge focus on buying gifts andspending money and you know
doing things like evencelebrating with alcohol.
And maybe that isn't somethingthat you want to prioritize.
But if you think about what arethe things that make this time
of year special for you, arethere traditions that you want

(03:50):
to carry forward?
That doesn't mean you have to doeverything that your family
always did.
Make some traditions of your ownif you have your own family, or
pick out one or two that arereally special to focus on and
make memories because I can tellyou that even though I love

(04:10):
buying gifts and I love wrappinggifts, and I have huge plastic
totes of ribbon that arecolor-coded by container, I
remember really special gifts.
I mean, I guess that's somethingthat we often do, but what I
remember more are the memories,are the funny things that

(04:32):
happened, or the special thingsthat happened, or who was with
us each year to celebrate.
So take some time tointentionally slow down and
intentionally focus on what youwant this holiday to look like
for you, or this end of year, orthis winter solstice, whatever,
whatever you celebrate as we'reapproaching Thanksgiving, which

(04:55):
is only about a week and a halfaway, as I'm recording this.
Think about how do you want tocelebrate.
Don't feel like you have to doeverything, because I think
that's when we start to allowstress to win.
Don't feel like you have to makeevery food that your mom always
made.
And I'm saying that because thatused to be me.

(05:15):
Think about the things that makeit special, the ways you want to
make it special, who do you wantto gather with, and try to focus
on those things the most.
Focus on the things that meansomething, what the traditions
are that you want to pass along,and how you want to make
memories.
So I am gonna actually beheading to bed in about an hour
and a half.

(05:36):
So thanks for listening, anduntil next time, go out into the
world and be the amazing,resilient, vibrant violet that
you are.