Episode Transcript
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Mary (00:05):
Welcome to No Shrinking
Violence.
I'm your host, Mary Rothwell,licensed therapist and certified
integrative mental healthpractitioner.
I've created a space where wecelebrate the intuition and
power of women who want to breakfree from limiting narratives.
We'll explore all realms ofwellness, what it means to take
up space unapologetically, andhow your essential nature is key
(00:28):
to living life on your terms.
It's time to own your space,trust your nature and flourish.
Let's dive in.
Hi and welcome to the show.
I grew up with three olderbrothers.
They and my dad loved sports.
I have memories of sitting onthe front porch with them and
listening to baseball games inthe summer.
(00:49):
We lived in Pennsylvania and wewere Philadelphia sports fans,
hands down.
I won't bore you with thedetails, except to say that I
used to know the battingaverages of every player on the
Phillies and on the rareoccasion I hear old recordings
of the voices of the gameannouncers, harry Callis and
Richie Ashburn.
It takes me right back to thefront porch on hot summer days.
(01:11):
As I got older, my sport ofchoice to watch was ice hockey.
I'm sure my high schoolboyfriend probably had something
to do with the depth of my lovefor it, but even after we broke
up, going to games was one ofmy favorite things.
So when I saw that my guesttoday used to be a trainer for
the Philadelphia Flyers, a dozenmemories I had not visited in
(01:33):
decades came back.
But beyond that, she was atrainer in one of the most
physically aggressive sportsthere is, as a female, in a time
when I'm sure it was way morerare.
And then when I read about allthe amazing ways she has
empowered women, I had to talkto her.
Sandy Joy Weston has a master'sdegree and is a keynote speaker,
(01:56):
international podcaster,three-time published author and
entrepreneur who has owned andoperated health and wellness
companies for over 30 years.
In addition to being the firstfemale trainer for the
Philadelphia Flyers, she spentmany years as a media
personality and is PhiladelphiaNBC 10's fitness expert.
She created a nationallyrecognized Philly street line
(02:20):
dance to help combatPhiladelphia's fattest city
label.
For the past five years, sandyhas been focusing on SJW
Productions, an internationalcompany whose main mission is to
highlight all the positive inthe world which, especially now,
we sorely need.
She has written two books Trainyour Head and your Body Will
(02:42):
Follow and my 30-Day ResetJournal.
Through her writing and herprograms and workshops, sandy's
mission is to spread pure joyand inspire others to see their
true power.
Welcome to no Shrinking, violetSandy.
Sandy (02:57):
Mary, I've never had an
intro like that.
I love it.
Thank you very much.
Mary (03:03):
You are so welcome.
I'm not kidding.
When I saw that I just had allthese memories.
And then I saw that you workedwith Eric Lindros and I was like
, oh my God, this is like adream come true.
So we may weave more of thatinto our discussion today.
But of course, the thing thatoccurs to me first is I really
need to know what it was like towork for a professional hockey
(03:27):
team, and did that job actuallybring you to Philly, or were you
born there?
Sandy (03:33):
So neither.
How do you like that answer?
Okay, so can I take you back alittle bit?
Mary (03:39):
You can.
Sandy (03:40):
Just so you can
understand.
Like how I got to the FlyersSure, I grew up in Jersey, ended
up coming this way to go toschool, right.
So I got my undergrad atWestchester and then I went to
Temple for my master's andduring that time I was a dance
major.
I started out as a dance majorat Montclair College because I
(04:03):
wanted to be on Broadway andsoon found out, mary, I wasn't
that good.
I mean, I was great in mylittle hometown of Phillipsburg,
new Jersey, but I couldn't keepup with the rest of the girls.
I just didn't have some of thethings they did at the time.
So I ended up taking a year off.
Go to Westchester and theirhealth and visit department is
(04:27):
where the dance concentrationwas and I had to.
As part of my internship I hadto teach aerobic fitness classes
, which back then was mostlycalisthenics and being a dance
major, I was going to put someflair into it.
So I started teaching theseamazing classes which I had a
blast learning, the calisthenicpart, bringing in the dance and
(04:49):
that's where I met all theseamazing people on the main line.
I mean it was the who's whoaffiliate.
I was teaching in Ballot,kenwood at the time and also at
the time there really weren'tthat many trainers, maybe out in
the West Coast, but not on theEast Coast.
So they asked me if I wouldcome train them in their home.
I was like, okay, and you'regoing to pay me?
(05:12):
How much money?
Okay, you know I was, you know,right out of college.
All right, I'll do that.
And it ended up flourishinginto this huge training business
.
But what it really did is itintroduced me to so many amazing
people that would go on to bemy friends and also my mentors.
(05:33):
I'll tell you what you want tomeet people and you want to
learn all about business being ahome trainer, because you will
not only get paid to train them,but these people mentored me, I
mean, they taught me everythingthey knew about business.
And two of my main clients onewas Pat Croce I don't know if
you know that name, mary, but hewas the trainer of the Flyers
(05:57):
and he owned like 21 differentphysical therapy clinics sports
medicine, physical therapyclinics and he was the bomb and
he was really high energy andmotivating and he worked with
the Flyers and he knew Ed Snyder, obviously, who owned the
Flyers, and he introduced me toEd.
So Ed Snyder, became a verydear friend and a mentor to me,
(06:22):
and so that's how I got to theFlyers.
Because once I started trainingEd, they realized, oh, sandy
and I had other trainers at thetime could really serve our team
, because what would happen isthe guys would get injured Okay,
cool, cool, cool.
They would go to physicaltherapy, but then they wouldn't
keep up with their fitness andtheir rehab.
(06:42):
So they brought me in and sevenof my guys I just at the time
there really weren't any femalesaround, so I was the only
female in the group to train theflyers, especially when they,
you know, got finished rehab andto keep them going.
And I was appointed Eric Lindros.
(07:03):
So that's how it happened andit was so much fun.
Mary (07:08):
Wow, what a great story.
And you know, I think oftenwhen we have a path that we
think we really want like youwant to dance and then it
couldn't happen sometimes Ithink people get stuck there.
But isn't that often the placein life where something
different opens up?
And I think if you're open togoing in a different direction,
(07:29):
you can find so many rich thingsthat come from that.
Sandy (07:33):
Well, absolutely.
I couldn't agree more.
It's difficult at the timebecause you're thinking I mean,
imagine my whole life.
I thought, you know, I was thebomb for like, the bomb for, you
know, for dancing, and this iswhat I was going to do and this
is how I was going to spend mywhole life.
And I was born with I didn'tknow at the time hip dysplasia,
(07:55):
so I had no turnout, so Icouldn't kick high into the side
, which was really needed at thetime.
On Broadway, Now, you could bedifferent types of dancers, but
I couldn't do it all.
So I realized, even if Ipracticed 12 hours a day, which
I did, these young girls wouldcome in after being up all night
(08:15):
partying and they would kick mybutt.
I mean, it was devastating, butI knew there had to be.
I always believed okay, well,that didn't work out, there's
got to be something else.
So it, you know, I took off, Ipumped gas, I waitressed and it
just led me to find out.
Ooh, there's health and phys ed.
Ooh, I love studying about howthe mind and body works and I
(08:37):
can do dance, and then who.
I had no idea that it would takeme on a path of owning and
operating health clubs andworking with sports teams.
I thought it was going to leadme to be a dance instructor at a
dance institute.
I had no clue, but all thementors them seeing something in
me before I saw something in metaking me under their wing,
(09:00):
wanting to teach me everythingthey knew.
It just ended up turning into aprivate training company and
then it led into health clubs.
I really was beyond blessed tohave these people in my life.
Mary (09:13):
Yeah, and you were open to
it.
And I think sometimes when youthink about doing a certain
thing, like if you would havejust fast forwarded to, what
would it be like to work with aprofessional hockey player, it
might be really intimidating,but it seems like sort of you
followed these breadcrumbs andyou were open to allowing people
(09:34):
to be those mentors to you andyou sort of ended up there,
which is really cool.
Sandy (09:40):
Yeah, I always thought
that if your eyes and ears are
open, you don't know what pathis going to open up for you.
And I've always been like thatand I always felt that my
mission was to spread joy.
And even now, my new keynotesare your competitive edges.
(10:03):
Joy Because just recently,somebody kept saying to me I
don't get it, how did yousurvive all the big health clubs
opening up?
Because there was major chainsthat ended up opening up within
a few years of me opening up myhealth clubs and they wanted
this plan.
Like, okay, this is how I didit.
This was a specific strategicbusiness plan, and not that you
(10:24):
didn't have business plans,because you did and I was really
good at marketing.
But I believe and it just cameout of my mouth I was like, well
, my competitive edge was joy.
That's what my competitive edgewas being able to find joy
within me and others when nobodyelse could find it.
Being able to tap into joy tosee the possibilities that
(10:46):
weren't right in front of mewhen things look like you're
hitting a wall.
Being able to tap into that joyto see all the endless
possibilities.
I truly believe it was mycompetitive edge.
Mary (11:02):
Yeah, so that's a lot of
your journey.
So it sounds like you had thoseopportunities.
You sort of then kind ofleverage that into health clubs.
You're doing so much more.
But in overall of that, when I,when you say what is your why?
And it's to bring joy, but howdo you do that through the work
(11:23):
you do?
How do you bring that to yourclients?
Sandy (11:28):
So I'm going to take it a
little bit back on the journey
because I really do think it'llhelp you understand why I so
believe that joy was mycompetitive edge and also my why
and my mission.
So what I didn't tell you isand I actually, mary, I didn't
even start telling my story tilla few years ago when I ended up
(11:49):
taking this course to up mykeynote over COVID, when I
wasn't traveling so much HeroicPublic Speaking.
It was right in Lambertville,new Jersey, and man, oh man, it
was not only brilliant on stagepresence and writing your script
, but it also was catharticbecause for the first time,
(12:10):
they're like no, we need to hearmore stories.
We need to hear more storiesbecause I was always the girl
who could get the party started,get you up.
Wellness movement, all aboutfitness, but it really had none
of my personal journey in it andthey finally convinced me if I
told a piece of my personaljourney, I would have more of an
impact on other people, andI've seen that happen.
(12:31):
So I grew up in the projects,which wasn't great, but that
wasn't the toughest part.
My mom also spent majority ofher life in asylums.
She had so many mental healthissues she battled a lot of
demons.
So I would say for the majorityof my life nobody was really
(12:54):
giving me the time of day.
You know, be grateful tograduate high school.
You know that's great that youlike to dance, but hey, this is
a major accomplishment if youget through high school and I
knew that was great.
But there was other things Iwanted to do.
(13:14):
I just felt in every ounce ofmy bones and also my uncle paid
for my dance lessons.
I had my dance and my danceinstructor, ms Leona Mae Lipke,
that really believed in me andthank God for them, because the
rest of the family and a lot ofthe teachers and advisors my
family was so difficult to dealwith and you know there really
wasn't this parental guidancethat they really weren't
(13:37):
spending a lot of time thinkingyou know, how am I going to get
Sandy to college?
So what I do remember is thatfrom the time I was nine now, I
didn't call it this Mary, I didnot call it this, but I, what I
call it now is movement, wordsand laughter.
It takes one to three minutes aday to change your life in a
(13:59):
positive, powerful way.
I've been using since a child.
I did not realize that.
And again, I didn't have totake a leap of faith and I
didn't know the science behindit at the time.
I just knew movement, words andlaughter got me into that
powerful mindset and the namescame up just recently when I was
putting together my TED Talk.
But to get out of hearing allthe noise surrounding me in the
(14:25):
home and drown out all thenaysayers, I would put on music
and dance around for a minute,just for a minute, and I would
move, and it didn't matter what,but it would put me into a
great headspace.
And then I would the word.
I would pick one word a daydepending on how I felt that day
, like how do I want to show up?
And it could be ooh, fun, joy,ease and flow, calm, powerful.
(14:49):
And I would think oh, how wouldI feel if I showed up for
school feeling joyful, fun, youknow, silly, and I would write
the word down school, feelingjoyful, fun, silly, and I would
write the word down.
And then the laughter.
I always made light ofeverything, no matter how
difficult the situation is, Imade light of it.
Well, that movement, words andlaughter really saved my life.
(15:10):
I mean, it kept me goingthrough all those years and then
, in addition to that, whenyou're saying my mission and how
I apply it to other people,well, when I was nine years old,
my brother and I startedvisiting my mom in the mental
institutions and you can imagine, I mean, the mood was not so
good and I knew that I wouldhave to change it drastically.
So I would always want to gowhen they were getting their
(15:34):
medicine and we quickly go to mymom's room, wheel her back out
into the lobby and I'd go around.
Now, keep in mind, I was a kidat the time and I would say to
everyone you don't need thatmedicine, Just watch me, I'll
bring you joy.
And then I would pull out.
I had my backpack.
I called it my joy pack.
(15:55):
I'd pull out my boom box, pushthe button, throw on my tap
shoes and I would start dancing.
And I saw immediately how Icould shift energy.
I saw, oh my goodness, thesepeople in a split second.
They were laughing and smilingand they were having a good time
and I could bring them hope andI could bring me hope.
(16:20):
So it was beyond a shadow of adoubt that my mission in life I
didn't know how I'm not saying Iwas tap dancing every day in
metal institutions, but I knewmy mission was to spread joy.
Now, the reason I'm telling youthat let's fast forward here I
am.
My mission is to spread joy.
Now, the reason I'm telling youthat let's fast forward, here I
am.
My mission is to spread joy toothers.
(16:41):
Well, I knew in the darkestsituation that I could spread
joy and maybe everyone didn'thave an extreme situation like
that they went through.
But everybody has times intheir life of heartache, pain,
feeling anxious, overwhelmed,maybe even depressed, and I
could shift my energy so that Icould shift their energy to see
(17:05):
all the possibilities that wereout there.
So I did that with every one ofmy clients and I'm telling you,
I don't think I had a clientthat didn't get results.
And everybody kept saying to methink I had a client that
didn't get results.
And everybody kept saying to mewell, why is it?
Well, it's because I dealt withthem with the mind-body-spirit
(17:26):
approach.
Back there, it wasn't just go inand work out.
I wanted to find out what madethem tick, what did they enjoy,
what were their blocks?
It was more of all the mentaland the spiritual, and then the
fitness was added on and then Ibrought that to my clubs.
I wanted my clubs to be likethe Disney World of health clubs
.
That came in and everyone had agood time and joy would be
(17:49):
throughout the club and nomatter how grumpy somebody was,
I would tell my front desk thoseare the fun people.
You know the happy people.
They're easy.
But what's the really fun partand the challenging part is can
you shift the energy of somebody?
That's a real crap apple.
So everything I did, joy wasinvolved in it and it is my
(18:12):
middle name.
So I said, well, I don't knowhow much my mom gave me, but she
gave me my middle name.
So I said, well, I don't knowhow much my mom gave me, but she
gave me my middle name.
So I hope that answers yourquestion on how I've taken that
and why it means so much to meand have put it in every piece
of my life.
Mary (18:37):
Wow, that is an amazing
story.
Sandy (18:37):
There's so many parts to
that that I'm like, wow, that's
so cool, wow, that's so cool.
Well, I think you needed toknow and to understand why do I
believe so much in the power ofhow quickly you can shift your
energy and the energy of others,and you never know what person
you're going to change yourentire life, even like we hear
it all the time, but it's sotrue by saying one kind word to
(18:59):
them or making them smile orlaugh.
I remember during COVID, whenwe weren't allowed to go out
that much, they would call methe bike girl because I was
always on my bike outside and Iwould do all these goofy things
to get the neighbors to laugh asI was biking.
And then you could go to WholeFoods and wear your mask or
Trader Joe's or you know anylocal grocery store, and I would
(19:20):
dance in line.
My husband's son wouldn't wantto come in with me because I was
embarrassed, but I was doinganything to shift the energy
because you know it was prettygloomy.
Mary (19:30):
Yeah, you were a little
ahead of your time in that and
many of us still think this waythat if we need to get healthy
quote, get healthy that's justabout our body and it's not.
It's about our whole being.
And somehow you instinctivelyrecognize that because of the
(19:51):
impact of music on you, ofmindset on you, and then you
were able to bring that intoyour work with people.
Sandy (20:00):
I truly believe as much.
I call God Neil.
I tell Neil we don't need to dothat life again.
But I wouldn't be who I amunless I went through that.
Because in the darkest, most,most, I mean really desperate
situation, I found this movement, words and laughter and I saw
(20:28):
how, every day, by doing it, Imean like I didn't know what I
was doing, I just came upon it,start dancing, start thinking a
word I was like, ooh, I feelbetter, laughed about the
dumbest things and, oh mygoodness, I had to tell
everybody, don't you know, youcan do this, you can tap into it
.
Now I truly, whatever it issomeone's belief system is, I
truly believed there wassomething bigger than me
(20:49):
watching out for me.
So, whether you tap into yourheart, the universe, your higher
power, god, whatever it is, Ialso thought at a very young age
well, you might not love me,but I got the universe behind me
and I also believed I had fiveangels and they laughed a lot.
So when people would come overto the house and they'd be
(21:09):
worried about me whether theministers, the preachers, the
therapists I say don't worryabout me, I got five angels, I'm
doing good.
I'm more concerned with you,how are you doing?
And they would be baffled.
But they would look down.
I remember they would have, likesometimes, these glasses on.
They'd look below the glassesand they'd look me in the eyes.
You go.
They'd say, damn girl, I reallythink you are going to be okay.
(21:32):
And I said I told you I gotfive angels.
And so add that into movement,words and laughter and my belief
in a higher power watching overme and my five angels.
It really, really added a wholenew level of joy to my life.
Mary (22:01):
For sure, and one of the
things that I think is such a
gift in your approach is, whenwe talk about fitness, we use
the word often exercise, and Ithink that for people that need
more of that, you know that theyneed it because they just need
to move, they need to improvetheir health, all of those
things that one word feels sofull of pressure.
But it seems like you can takethat idea of movement, which was
(22:23):
really your little mantragrowing up, and you sort of
build it into more a way ofbeing instead of a thing that
you have to do, which I thinkcan be such a gift to people
that feel that heaviness or thatdread of like, oh, I have to
exercise today.
Sandy (22:41):
I truly believe that it
all starts with your beliefs,
the stories you tell yourself,your mindset, and not because of
anything that we did wrong I'mgoing to emphasize you didn't do
anything wrong but stories,your whole beliefs, you heard.
(23:01):
We believe that it has to betime consuming and difficult to
be in great shape, to bementally healthy, to have a lot
of things in life and it's justnot true.
Yes, you do have to take action, but where are you taking
action from?
And if you spent more time inreally being honest on where you
(23:24):
are, because you want toexpress all emotions and they're
all your emotions, they're notgood or bad, it's just are they
serving you well and you realizewhere you are, then you can
shift your mindset into anemotion that serves you well.
And once you're in that mindset,what kind of movement do you
want to do, even just for a fewminutes?
(23:46):
You know a couple minutes, fiveminutes, 10 minutes, and you
start with that and there's gotto be something.
You may not love it, but youmight be, I'm okay with that,
whether it's walking outside,gardening, which I've been
spending a lot of time doing,walking with a friend, biking,
working out on your own in yourhome.
(24:06):
You want to be in a mindsetthat you actually look forward
to it and that, hopefully, a fewminutes builds into a few more.
Even if you got up, if you'reworking from home and you got up
every 30 minutes or hour andyou did chores up and down the
steps you know, or going outside, that's movement, you know.
(24:27):
Do a pushup against your wall.
It doesn't have to be like Ihave to go to the gym every
single day for an hour, and I'msaying that as someone who owns
gyms the people that went.
We tried to make it as fun aspossible, and I'm saying that as
someone who owns gyms thepeople that went.
We tried to make it as fun aspossible and we had 20 and 30
minute classes as well as thelonger classes, because we
wanted you to really embrace itand find something that worked
(24:50):
for you.
Because, yes, there's nogetting around it, movement is
healthy for you mentally,physically and spiritually.
Mary (24:59):
And habits do start with a
few minutes, right.
Yeah, you build in thingsslowly and so I'm going to tell
you.
I know that there are peoplelistening right now because I
work with a lot of women inmidlife who they're very
frustrated with weight gain andthey feel that I'm doing the
same thing I've always done.
(25:21):
Why can I not get my weight off?
Why do I feel worse?
Would you just apply this samething?
Would there be any differences?
Like for women you work withthat are in midlife fifties,
maybe peri or postmenopause?
Sandy (25:36):
Absolutely, Mary.
I'm so glad you asked me thatbecause I'm actually putting
together a workshop and I'mdoing a presentation in a week
or two, because I really, reallywant to address this issue with
women that are especially 50and above.
Okay, so, without getting toomuch into it, because there are
(25:57):
amazing scientists out there whoare addressing the issues and
I've been listening to so manyof the podcasts, which I am
thrilled with, Even orthopedicsurgeons are addressing this
issue and I'm like God, I'vebeen saying this for years and
now there's science behind it.
So for me, Mary, there's thingslike you know say oh, it was
(26:18):
innate in you.
Well, why did I keep movement,words and laughter in my life?
Because I saw it working.
I applied it.
I didn't know the sciencebehind it and I didn't have to
take a leap of faith.
It worked.
So all the things that I knowwork for men and women and how
it changes during differentstages of your life, it's
because I've seen it work and Iapplied it.
A lot of things.
(26:38):
I didn't have the sciencebehind it, Okay, so keep that in
mind.
For women, yes, there are goingto be changes.
We know that your metabolism isgoing to slow down and there
are hormonal issues and itaffects women differently.
So I definitely am someone thatsays you know, go see your
family doctor, you know, knowwhat's going on underneath the
hood, because there might bethings that you want to address.
(26:59):
But in addition to that, mostwomen don't eat enough protein
and they don't do enoughstrength training.
So for a woman, especially asshe gets older, even if it was
just for health reasons and notto lose weight, you need to do
some type of resistance training, even if it's your body weight.
(27:23):
And I'm not talking going inthere, you know, and really
putting on, you know, heavy,heavy, heavy pounds.
I'm talking that whatever youdo now they're saying even four
to six reps works you don't have.
Don't go in and do like, youknow, oh, lift the light weights
10 to 15 times.
Now I've been doing thisforever.
(27:44):
I'm really into.
First of all, I don't have thatattention span, but I don't do
a lot of reps, you know.
I'm like four to six reps, lasttwo, it's exhausting in great
form, and now I'm listening tothe science behind why that's
important to do.
So for me.
Go in, work with someone, find acoach, find a trainer, find
(28:07):
something that's right for yourbody, Even if you don't have to
use them full time.
Just get a program.
But no, it doesn't have to betime consuming.
But what you want to rememberis, even if you go into the four
to eight range or 10, don'tlift in a way that, okay, I
lifted 10 to 15 times and thelast two weren't really
(28:31):
challenging.
You really want, in great form,for those last two reps to be
extremely challenging for you ingreat form and in addition to
your cardio work.
Those are the two main thingsthat I see happen all the time.
They do too many reps orthey're just doing cardio and
(28:53):
they're not doing weight bearingand they're not doing any
resistance training, and it's so, so, so important for so many
reasons.
Now, another thing is thatreally is beneficial to everyone
is change it up.
Change it up, your body getsacclimated.
So if you go in and do the sameroutine, you might be healthy,
(29:16):
you'll be strong, but you're notgoing to lose as much weight.
They just did a study recentlywhich I can attest to that if
you don't even know what'scoming up, your brain has to
shift to go oh, what's this?
You will actually burn evenmore calories, which is why,
with some of my clients that Istill do.
I call out an exercise and theydon't know what's coming, and I
(29:40):
do interval training with themand that way they're shaken up
even more than okay, they'rechanging their workout.
So that's the ultimate if youdon't even know what's coming
next, but if you don't havesomeone you're working with,
even just constantly changingyour workout routine.
And then the last thing,because I don't want to confuse
them too much, is interval workis really great for losing
(30:03):
weight, Meaning as going all out, just even three times with
your cardio for 30 seconds andslow it down will really shake
up your metabolism and help youlose weight.
It doesn't have to be likerunning like you know all out
for you know, like somebody elsewould, but for you that you're
(30:24):
doing all out for 30 seconds,and even if you just did that
three times, it would reallyspeed up your metabolism and
help you lose weight.
Mary (30:32):
Those are really good
suggestions because I think we
do need to change the way we dothings, especially as we get
older.
So that argument that you'veprobably heard a lot from women
I don't want to use heavyweights, I don't want to bulk up
, it doesn't work that way andwhat's 30 seconds going to do?
But I know, you know, as ourhormones shift as older women,
(30:54):
we don't manage cortisol as welland cortisol is our stress
hormone and that comes into playwhen we do prolonged endurance
sort of training, right.
So our body is much more ableto manage it when we do that
intense kind of exertion inshorter spurts, it works better
(31:15):
for our bodies at this age.
Sandy (31:18):
And we're not saying to
do it every workout.
You know, maybe just add somein once or twice a week.
Where are you?
You could even do speed walking, you know it's not a matter of
oh my God, you know I'm going tohave to run, you know, a six
minute mile.
It's not about that, it's you.
And I also would talk to aprofessional, because most
(31:38):
family practitioners andnutritionists or physical
therapists or whatever they haveto even guide them just to get
them in the right program forthem, can make a huge difference
.
You don't have to work withsomebody full time if you can't,
but at least put you on theright program for your body type
.
Mary (31:59):
Yeah, and the strength
training is really about keeping
our bones strong, which I don'tknow that everybody makes that
connection.
It's about having the musclemass, certainly, but that keeps
our bones, which are much moreat risk as we get older as women
.
That helps that.
So I think, putting it in acontext of why am I doing this,
(32:20):
it can sometimes help also.
Okay, so I'm going to give youa little challenge.
Those were wonderful actionsteps.
So I can hear one of my clientssaying I don't have time to
find a trainer, I don't havetime to do this.
I haven't exercisedconsistently in six months.
Give them three to five thingsthey can start with, just where
they are.
Sandy (32:41):
I'm going to call your
client Sally Bell.
We'll name him Sally Bell.
Okay, sally Bell, I get youknow how much time and you say
you don't want to find a trainerCool.
But there are so many freakingYouTube fitness workouts for 40
plus, 50 plus, 60 plus, that youcould plug in anything and say
(33:04):
I would like a five minutestrength training workout for a
woman in her 50s and somethingis going to pop up.
And that's important because somany people need visuals,
because so many people needvisuals.
But if, without knowing them,if I and I don't know, if you
know what their injuries are, ifthey keep you know they're
(33:24):
prone to, you know, gainingweight, losing weight.
But in general, if you just didwhat I call like a HIIT workout
at home, it would be amazing.
Even one cycle cycle, I callthem giant sets.
So let's just say you moved inplace for 45 seconds to a minute
jumping jacks, dance around,whatever you want to do, right?
(33:47):
Just move around for a littlebit, get the blood flowing, any
type of aerobic activity andthat.
Then you went and you didsquats.
Now, that's the thing.
A lot of people don't do themright, but they could do squats.
They can do chair squats,whatever feels good to them,
sitting back in their butt.
They do squats and they doagain for 45 seconds, giving
(34:10):
themselves 15 second break.
Right, then they go to thefloor and then you do the same
thing in good form.
Now the last two have to bedifficult.
So it's not 45 seconds.
You could just do it until youfeel like, oh, now, those last
two were challenging.
Let me switch to the next one.
And they did pushups.
I don't care if you do them onyour stomach, on your knees,
(34:32):
military, you could start inmilitary, drop down to knees.
You could stay on your knees,do a set of pushups to
exhaustion and then flip overand and do one of your favorite
ab exercises, even if it's withyour feet up on the sofa, making
sure you don't pull your neckarea, because you want to make
sure that you're really hittingyour lower abs.
(34:53):
That's one set.
Now look what happened.
You got your heart rate up,right, you did cardio.
You hit lower body, but squatsalso speeds up your metabolism.
Then you got your upper bodyPushups are so amazing for your
entire body and then you flippedover and you did a core
exercise.
That's it, let's say.
(35:15):
You said okay, I have fourminutes.
Well, there you go.
That was a four minute routine.
Oh, today I have more.
I'm going to repeat that cycle.
Oh, today I have more.
I'm going to repeat that cycle.
But I would suggest, mary, thatyou look up how to do a proper
squat or a pushup or an abexercise, because you don't want
to get it wrong and it's nottime consuming because there's
so so many videos out there.
(35:37):
Does that help?
Mary (35:39):
Absolutely, and that idea
I think we've been maybe given
when we were younger.
You have to do a lot for it tohave an impact.
You don't and I love that you'resaying that, because people
could think what's four minutesgoing to do, and I think part of
that.
Let's be honest, it's an excusebecause you can do those things
(36:02):
and you make it, first of all,youtube great because there is
so much good content and I dotruly believe you be some
instructors that will be veryclear in exactly how you're
(36:29):
breathing, the little minutepositioning of your body, and I
find when I have thoseinstructors and I make those
small changes, it totally feelsdifferent.
So being able to look atsomebody, how they're doing it
and take it I mean start slow Ifanything doesn't feel
comfortable and you do make thepoint if you really haven't
(36:51):
moved, then you might want tocheck with your doctor.
But yes, it does not have to bethis big elaborate thing.
So if you have five minutes togo outside and walk around your
house or walk down the block andback, you're getting sun,
you're breathing air.
I think it's the things thatare also around the movement
(37:14):
that are helpful too.
Sandy (37:16):
Well, I used to do this
years ago and now it's not so
crazy where I would walk or runand then I would do push-ups you
pushups on a bench or against atree, and then I'd walk or run
again, and then I'd do tricepdips and I would make it fun
because I loved being outside.
And, like I said before, I getbored easily, so I would break
(37:38):
it up and I wouldn't run orspeed walk the whole time and it
was so much fun.
Like, oh, what obstacle can Ido something off?
Now?
It makes me happy, it brings mejoy.
And even when they're saying,as far as time, like there's a
financial, I get you know, likeyou don't want to hire someone.
But I specifically will design aworkout for my client because I
(38:01):
know how they're built, I knowwhat their needs are, I know
what their strengths and theirweaknesses are.
But besides that, like you said, you can find so many like
workouts.
It could be yoga, it could bePilates, it could be a dance, it
could be calisthenics.
They're going to find somethingthat they like and that they're
drawn to, which will bring themback, and a lot of times
(38:24):
they're done in small increments.
So you could go okay, I'm done,I'm going to just do five
minutes.
Oh, guess what, before you knowit, which a lot of people do,
mary, you know this?
Next thing they know 20 minuteshas passed.
It's just that it's also thehabit.
When are you doing it?
A lot of people to create thehabit, they want to do it the
(38:46):
same time every day.
If it's not first thing in themorning or afternoon, night,
whatever it is, you tellyourself okay, no matter what,
I'm going to do it just for afew minutes.
And then I know it sounds silly, but even putting your shoes or
your workout bag right by thedoor, you're more likely to do
it.
Oh, there's my sneakers.
Mary (39:03):
Okay, I can fit five
minutes of a walk in, yeah, and
knowing what you're not going todo.
I mean, for me, I used to lovegoing to the gym, but then I
moved and I after work, this iswhen I would typically go.
Now I had to go out of my wayto get to the gym.
(39:24):
I hated it.
And so I think being alsowithout making an excuse, but
being you know, really knowingwhat your preferences are that
if you really hate doing somespecific thing, find a different
way, absolutely yeah.
The other thing that's a littletip is wear a weighted vest
when you walk, that's anotherone.
Sandy (39:46):
Yeah, I see people out
there with dumbbells too,
weights, I mean so many.
You want to make it fun for you.
And again, if somebody says, oh, you know you've got to do this
, you're going to lose weightand you hate it, no, no, no, no,
no.
There's so many ways, trust me.
There's so many ways, trust me,there's so many ways to work
(40:09):
out that you will find somethingthat resonates with you.
Do not do something that feelsawkward, do not do something
that feels painful, and do notdo something that you hate
because you won't stay with itright, and the more you do it
once you find your thing, themore you will do it because
you're going to start to feelbetter.
Mary (40:23):
Yeah, so, and I, I trick
myself too, because I do not
like the word exercise and Iknow I've found a lot of my
clients don't, so I just use theword movement I have to move
today.
It feels better than saying youhave to exercise today.
So, yeah, you can kind of usethose little tricks.
So I know that one of yourbooks is about journaling, so we
haven't really talked aboutthat.
(40:44):
Why do you find journalingimportant?
Sandy (40:47):
Yeah, and, by the way,
mary, you just reminded me early
that I have to update some ofmy bios.
I guess I didn't change it.
I wrote a third one, I think itwas at 2020, called Recess to
Reset, and it was for kids.
It was a journaling for kidseight to 12.
(41:07):
But what happened is all myadult clients loved it.
So now my adult men and womenuse Recess to Reset and it's
becoming so popular with adultsthat my publisher, which was
Skyhorse Publishing, we're notgoing to rebrand it very similar
so that it's for adults too,because they're like I like this
(41:30):
way better, I'm like, okay,whatever one that works.
But to answer your question, Iwanted again to have people see
that it didn't take a lot oftime and it wasn't time
consuming and that the mostimportant thing is how they
(41:51):
chose to show up every day.
And back in the days wherepeople like, eh, not many people
were journaling, I introducedthe idea that, hey, what if we
could make a guided journal sothat people didn't think that,
oh, I don't know what to write,I don't know what to do, and it
(42:12):
was just a guide for them to putthem in that powerful mindset.
So in order for me to do that.
I decided I was going to studyand interview people, mary, that
I felt exuded pure joy.
So I took a year and I bribedpeople that were at my gym with
(42:35):
either memberships or trainingand I said, can I study you and
interview you?
And I was fortunate, and youknow there's thousands of people
that were members of the gym.
So I was able to get all walksof life, like everything, from
students to CEOs, to CFOs, tomoms to dads.
You know the gamut and thecommon thread that they had.
(42:56):
I felt they exuded so much purejoy and I wanted to say see if
there was a way that we couldteach others.
Is this transferable or not?
Were they born like this or wasthere a habit or skill that we
could teach others?
And I studied them for almost ayear and I couldn't find
(43:17):
anything, mary, I couldn't findone thing.
I'm like, oh God, what are wegoing to do?
These people are just this way.
And then finally, right near theend I don't even know it was me
or one of my assistants thatsaw it there was a common thread
they all had.
Every single one of them didsomething every single day to
(43:39):
get into that positive, powerfulmindset, and it was all
different.
And it didn't matter if it wasa few minutes or a few hours.
There was nothing moreimportant than how they chose to
show up in the world.
They didn't want to get bangedaround like a ping pong ball
yeah, life happens but theywanted to be more in control of
(44:00):
how they were going to react toall the stuff going on in the
world.
So there are people that spenda few minutes, a few hours, and
it was everything from playingmusic to singing, to walking
their dog, to playing with theircat, to working out, to
journaling, to making muffins, Imean, to making lists.
(44:20):
I mean it was all different.
So when I saw this, I'm likelist.
I mean it was all different.
So when I saw this, I'm like,oh my God, it can be transferred
, it can be taught, maybe notthe whole entire thing, because
these people also believed theywere deserving, they were worthy
of having what they wanted outof life, but they had this habit
(44:41):
.
So then I decided okay, that'swhat I'm going to create a
journal, a guidebook to helppeople get into that mindset if
they already didn't have theirsystem.
So I was very fortunate.
One of my health clubs wasright downtown on 19th and
Market, and all so many manycolleges were right there.
So I was able to what I callthe powers to be draw on a lot
(45:04):
of amazing humans to help me,because I wanted to have the
science behind journaling.
So I had neuroscientists,sports psychologists, positive
psychologists, exercisephysiologists, nutritionists,
spiritual leaders and gurus andthey came together in one of my
offices to help me create thisguidebook and also the science
(45:25):
behind how the mind and bodywork together.
And it took us a while becausethere was a lot of debating, I
know, for this one page and howwe were going to put it out, but
finally we put together a fiveminute journal and then again I
sent it out to different peoplea hundred people and I said I
(45:46):
need you to do this and we'regoing to watch you for a year
and I want you to pick one areaof your life that you want to
take up a lot notch.
Now keep in mind, mary, theseare highly motivated people.
All these people I knew fromthe gym, so they were already
motivated people.
And I said pick an area of yourlife that is not going so well.
So if your body health is doingwell, then pick love,
(46:09):
relationship and if that's goingwell, pick money, career.
But pick one of those areasthat you want to take up a notch
.
And after a year, mary, onlyone person did it, one person.
It failed flat on its freakingface and I was devastated.
I'm like, oh my God.
(46:29):
So I go back and I meet with oneof my professors at Temple, dr
Kendrick, and I'll never forgetthis.
He goes well, of course they'renot going to do it.
I go what do you mean?
He goes well, no one's going tospend five minutes a day to
improve their life, unless theyalready have that belief system.
I go okay.
Well, it would have been goodif you mentioned that a year ago
(46:51):
.
And he said I think it was moreimportant for you to find it
out, trial and error andexperimenting.
So I said okay.
So he said, yeah, they're notgoing to waste their time
because they think five minutes,this is ridiculous, this is not
going to make a difference inmy life.
Make it a minute to threeminutes and they'll do it,
(47:12):
because now, if they're on theedge, they're not sure it might,
it might not.
They'll take 30 days andthey'll do that minute to three
minutes and then, once they seeresults, they keep going.
So that's why I came up withall it takes is one to three
minutes was my tagline, and Iput it back out there and then
it was successful and they sawresults and they saw the power
(47:35):
of writing it down.
And the main thing is, yeah,there are people that journal,
they write a lot, they write toclear their head, they write to
you know, be creative, andthat's all well and good, but I
was trying to get get the habit.
If you had no habit of gettingyou in that powerful mindset
before you started the day, thatwould not be time consuming.
(47:58):
So the guidebook was all aboutyou creating what you wanted to
accomplish, not what anybodyelse wanted you to accomplish,
like, what were your goals forthat the next 30 days?
And then what is the word thatyou could write down, your power
statement.
And it's a way for you, everysingle day, mary, for you to
(48:20):
remind yourself of what you saidyou want to achieve, and you
could switch your mind up.
But I wanted it to be somethingthat you would see and go oh
yeah, am I on track?
Is that where I'm spending mytime, or did I get off so that
you would get back on trackquicker for what you wanted to
(48:41):
achieve as well as.
Hmm, I'm not feeling powerful.
What could I do to reset myself, to feel more powerful today?
Now let's go fast forward.
And now it's pretty mainstream.
There are a lot of people thathave so many journals out there
and so many people know that itworks.
(49:02):
I'm not saying they're doing itor not.
I'm all about don't make itcomplicated.
Yes, there's amazing journalsout there and if they work,
great.
But start with something.
And now they do know thatyou're more likely to reach 40%
of your goal if you write itdown and you can see.
Mary (49:23):
That makes a lot of sense
and I use that.
I don't really prescribejournaling in my therapy work
because I think some people arelike I don't have time for that,
especially more nowadays.
So I just do one good thinglike what's one good thing, and
that's not so much like you'resaying about what's your goal,
but it's the mindset which is,you know, you might have, might
(49:46):
have had a great coffee that dayand that might have been the
best thing of the day, butyou're still focusing on the
good things because our brainsare wired to focus often on the
negative because we'reprotecting ourselves.
So, yeah, that intentionalityis so important.
Well, there have been so manygood takeaways today and I think
(50:08):
the biggest is that changedoesn't have to be one day
you're doing this and the nextday you're doing this big,
monumental change, because itdoesn't work that way that this
one to three minutes is reallykey and you are doing something,
you're building something byusing that amount of time.
Sandy (50:27):
Yeah, and remember, like
you said about the brain, we do
get a lot of negative thoughtsroam around in there it doesn't
matter where they came from,right, and also social media,
and then there's naysayers, Imean, they sneak in there.
And so, the more that you resetyour brain every single day,
it's like picking weeds.
You don't just pick weeds onceand you're done.
(50:48):
So, little by little, you'reresetting your brain every day
to serve you.
Well, that's it.
And the rewiring is gradualbecause the brain goes wait a
minute, mayday, mayday.
It likes the devil they knowversus the devil they don't.
I mean, even if it's notserving you well, your brain
(51:09):
does not want change and so itwill buck you, especially when
it's dramatic, because you can'tsustain it.
But little by little, youchange it and you shift it and
your brain goes oh okay, we'resafe, we can do that.
Let's do a little more.
Okay, we're safe, we can dothat.
And boom, it builds, it builds,it builds and it builds.
Mary (51:30):
Yeah, yeah, that's very
powerful.
So you obviously have amazingenergy that comes through very
clearly and you have a lot ofgood things that you do to help
people, which is it's reallyamazing.
I think anybody that is hasbeen in your orbit has you know.
It's really amazing.
I think anybody that is hasbeen in your orbit has you know,
really gotten a gift.
So I know that you mentionedsome things that you offer and I
(51:52):
will put your website in myshow notes.
So there you have three books,that which we've talked about.
I can put them in the shownotes.
And you mentioned that you'reworking on a talk for women in
midlife.
Is there anything else that ishappening that you want to share
before we end?
Sandy (52:10):
So everything I do, like
we talked about at the beginning
, my mission is to spread joyand my biggest part of my career
.
I owned and operated health andwellness centers and I sold
them, mary Mary, though in 2019.
So I sold them right before.
I did not know, but I got it,but I made my side gig my main
(52:32):
gig.
So what I do right now is I dokeynote speaking engagements,
which my topic is joy is yourcompetitive edge and I'm
speaking right now in thecountry, but I was speaking out
of country and I want to go backto doing that and just
traveling all over the worldbecause I freaking love it and
doing different types of keynotespeaking engagements.
(52:53):
I also teach workshops to womenand then I also, you know,
teach entrepreneurship to menand women and also
underprivileged high school kids, and I love that too.
I coach five clients at a time.
Usually it's a six monthprogram.
I also I host two differentpodcasts.
(53:16):
Mary, do you believe it?
I've been doing podcasting forfricking 15 years.
It's crazy.
Mary (53:21):
You were in on the ground
floor.
I love it.
It was like radio show.
Sandy (53:25):
I started it because I
wanted to get to people who are
making a powerful difference inthe world, who I wouldn't be
able to get them to pick up thephone, so that's why I started.
And then it turned intopodcasting.
And the one is called it's adeep dive.
It's called let's Keep it Real,where I highlight men and women
making a huge difference in theworld, whatever their
(53:46):
backgrounds are.
And then I also have anotherone, a shorter one, that's for
just women around the world whoare over 35.
And it's called hey, I GotSomething to Say.
And I started it because a lotof different women when I was
traveling kept saying I don'tfeel heard after a certain age
and that's why I got hey, I gotsomething to say.
(54:07):
And I do that every week and Ihighlight a different woman
who's making amazing differencein the world, and I love it.
Mary (54:15):
And I love that you do
that, because we have to keep
adding to those voices, becauseit's very important for women to
take up their space in theworld.
So thank you for taking thetime to be here, sandy, I
appreciate it.
Sandy (54:27):
Mary, thank you for
reaching out.
I loved it.
It was so much fun.
Mary (54:31):
And thank you everyone for
listening.
One of the best things aboutthis podcast is the listeners
and the community that we arecreating.
If you have someone in yourlife that you think would
benefit from the informationthat Sandy and I talked about
today, please forward thisepisode to them and, if you love
listening, consider joining theGrowing Garden of Violets and
support the show using the heartbutton or the link at the
(54:54):
bottom of the show notes,depending where you're streaming
from.
And until next time, go outinto the world and be the
amazing, resilient, vibrantviolet that you are.