May 15, 2025 • 55 mins
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That critical voice in your head telling you that you're not good enough? It wasn't born to torment you—it developed to protect you. But now it's time for a new relationship with that inner critic.
Julie Van Elswyk joins Mary to share her powerful journey from blaming herself for her son's cancer diagnosis to becoming a worthiness and law of attraction coach. After experiencing the transformative effects of EMDR therapy and hypnosis in her own healing, Julie now guides women to rewire self-criticism into deep inner support.
This episode unveils how our most limiting beliefs often develop early in life as protection mechanisms that we eventually outgrow. Julie explains that rather than fighting against your inner critic, befriending it with compassion opens the door to transformation. She walks us through the process of identifying critical thoughts, understanding their protective intent, and gradually reframing them into supportive messages that align with who you truly are.
The conversation takes a fascinating turn when Julie demystifies hypnosis and the law of attraction, grounding these concepts in science rather than woo-woo thinking. She describes hypnosis as simply accessing the more receptive alpha brain waves that allow us to integrate new patterns of thinking more efficiently. Similarly, she explains the law of attraction through the lens of resonance and frequency—when you embody the energy of what you desire, you naturally attract similar energies. Julie shares a compelling personal story of manifesting her dream home by first addressing her unconscious resistance to deserving it.
Perhaps most encouraging is the ripple effect that happens when women reclaim their worth and take up their space unapologetically. As Julie notes, "When a woman heals and finds her freedom, it creates a ripple effect that uplifts the world around her."
Julie's free "Release the Inner Critic" workbook
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Mary (00:05):
Welcome to No Shrinking Violence.
I'm your host, Mary Rothwell,licensed therapist and certified
integrative mental healthpractitioner.
I've created a space where wecelebrate the intuition and
power of women who want to breakfree from limiting narratives.
We'll explore all realms ofwellness, what it means to take
up space unapologetically, andhow your essential nature is key
(00:28):
to living life on your terms.
It's time to own your space,trust your nature and flourish.
Let's dive in.
Hi and welcome to the show.
I was having a conversation witha friend the other day about
messages from her parents thatshe got growing up, words that
(00:49):
she, like many of us, take toheart and allow to limit us in
how we take up our space in theworld.
Those early judgments carry alot of weight and sometimes the
women, or really anyone, thatallow these hurtful words or
experiences to create beliefsthat limit their narratives are
some of the most amazing, bright, emotionally intelligent and
(01:12):
sensitive people I know.
Those beliefs are whatcognitive behavioral therapists
will call irrational beliefs.
I like to qualify the termirrational because I think this
word itself is often applied towomen who show socially
unacceptable emotions like anger.
So for CBT cognitive behavioraltherapy purposes, irrational
(01:37):
simply means that it has nobasis.
In fact, there is no evidencethat it's true.
We all have these beliefs.
One of mine is that I'm toomuch for some people.
I have to remind myselfsometimes that if that's true,
it's a them problem.
Irrational beliefs fuel ournegative thoughts.
Example irrational belief I'm aburden to my family.
(02:01):
Negative thought I can't askfor support.
Sometimes it's hard to teaseapart the beliefs and the
thoughts.
The negative thoughts henceself-talk tend to be easier to
identify.
And those are the words, theinsidious, silent, judgmental
words of our inner critic.
Many people name theirs.
(02:23):
It makes it easier to tell themto shut up.
Today we're going to dig a bitinto how our inner critic
operates and, because you know Ilove to leave you with doables,
we're going to talk about someways we can start to quiet or
even challenge that bleepity,bleep inner critic.
My guest today is Julie VanElswyk.
She is a worthiness and law ofattraction coach who has guided
(02:47):
hundreds of women to rewireself-ridicule into deep inner
support and lasting confidence,helping them create lives that
feel peaceful, aligned andfulfilling.
Here is a quote I found onJulie's bio page: "I do this
work because I know the strengthand brilliance women carry and
I also know how often they turnthat energy inward, criticizing
(03:10):
themselves or carrying burdensthat were never theirs to hold.
I believe that when a womanheals and finds her freedom, it
creates a ripple effect thatuplifts the world around her.
Wow, I could have written thosesentences myself.
They totally resonate for me.
So welcome to no ShrinkingViolets, julie.
Julie (03:32):
Thank you, Mary.
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm happy to be here.
Mary (03:36):
We have so much to talk about.
Just reading all theinformation, the little bit of
talking we were able to do, Iknow that we're gonna have some
rich conversation today.
So how about, if we start with,could you share just a bit of
your personal story and what ledyou to do the work you're doing
?
Julie (03:55):
Yes, of course.
So I started my life enteringinto a large family and I had a
wonderful family, but I think myfilter as a sensitive child led
to me feeling a bit anonymousbeing in a group that size, and
so as I grew and developed myown coping skills, I believe a
(04:20):
lot of insecurity was involvedthere.
Well, fast forward to my early30s and my oldest son was
diagnosed with leukemia.
Now we know that these hugeevents in our lives are often
turning points, and it certainlywas for me.
We went through three and ahalf years of chemotherapy.
(04:42):
We went through a misdiagnosiswhere we were told we were going
to lose him.
It was.
There was a lot of trauma, andafter coming through that, I
started hyper-focusing on whathe ate, on what all of us ate,
on what we took into our minds,into our bodies environmental
(05:03):
toxins and what I really foundis that I had quite a bit of
PTSD.
I really needed to examine notonly what I'd been through with
my son, but when I went to atherapist and was treated
through EMDR therapy.
Through EMDR therapy it reallywent back to my childhood.
(05:30):
I had blamed myself so muchalong the way and talked so
critically to myself all alongthe way that, of course, when my
son was diagnosed, I blamed me.
I felt like cancer had come inin the night and violated my
child right under my nose.
That was how it felt in myheart that I had allowed this to
happen.
(05:51):
So, going through EMDR, I did aboatload of healing.
I learned how I was talking tomyself and, coming out of EMDR
even with that thousand poundslifted from my shoulders I
sought coaching.
I went through hypnosis.
I started listening torecordings and this really led
(06:12):
me to the path where I soughtout my own training to become a
coach, to study law ofattraction, to study worthiness
in women to be certified as ahypnosis practitioner worthiness
in women to be certified as ahypnosis practitioner, because I
saw how much these tools helpedme really clean up the wiring.
You know, my trauma therapy dida boatload of the work, but
(06:35):
afterwards I really was stuck inthese old patterns of thought
that needed a new practice andwhen I realized the power of
this in my own life, I reallywanted to be able to share that
with the world and truly there'snothing that brings me more joy
.
Mary (06:54):
Wow, that's quite a journey, and I think it's also
not uncommon that when anythinggoes awry, especially with our
children, women tend to look atwhat have I done that has
created this Right?
Yeah, and it sounds like you,once the diagnosis happened, you
really were scrambling to sortof smooth the way and try to
(07:16):
make it an easier path and likeworrying about everything, about
everything.
Julie (07:21):
Oh, absolutely Really, it was striving for control, for
control of my future, of myson's future, that this was not
going to happen again under mywatch.
And no one can carry that kindof burden.
I mean, life unfolds and welearn and we grow.
(07:42):
But you know, both my work withmindset, work in the scientific
realm but also in the spiritualrealm, has really helped me to
get into more of what I call, orwhat law of attraction speak
would call, a state of allowing,where we can say you know, my
(08:02):
job today is to be in myalignment with my soul and to be
in alignment with how I feel,best shining in the world, to
work through and acknowledge myemotions without guilt and then
to be able to let go, to be ableto really flow with the river.
And I think when we resist thatflow is when a lot of anxiety
(08:26):
creeps in.
Mary (08:28):
Oh for sure, yeah, for sure.
And it's so interesting to mebecause, over and over again, it
doesn't matter how long I dothe work I do or on the podcast
with my guests, even in my ownlife.
So often our personal journeyis what leads us to the work
that we do.
Yes, so the one thing I want toclarify if anyone doesn't know
(08:53):
what EMDR is, it is when someonewho has been trained will use
eye movement to help someoneprocess and I'm going to loosely
use the word resolve trauma.
It's really a cool way to useour brain and our neurons to
kind of process and find a placeto hold trauma.
(09:15):
Does that sound pretty accurate, julie?
Julie (09:18):
Yes, absolutely, and it connects the lobes of your brain
I mean more about thescientific aspect of this than I
do but in a way where you canaccess things that, in your
conscious, active mind, aren'treadily available.
Mary (09:34):
Yeah, and I think when it first came out and we're taking
a side tangent here, but I thinkwhen it first came out people
were like what?
But as we're learning aboutsleep, you know the REM stage of
sleep, where our eye movementhappens, is they found part of
what helps us to processmemories and things while we
(09:54):
sleep, and that EMDR sort ofmirrors some of that same stuff.
So it's really pretty cool.
So now in the work you do, whodo you primarily work with and
what would be examples of someof the challenges that your
clients might face?
Julie (10:10):
Yeah well, self-critical women that want to feel better,
that want to align with theirworth, that might see some
self-sabotage, even if theydon't know where it's coming
from.
I really not only relate, butcan see the path forward with
(10:30):
clients that are really quitehard on themselves, and when
they come into this work, a lotof the challenges are revolving
around anxiety or holdingthemselves back or shying away
from opportunities that theymight really be excited about
and maybe even avoiding creatingthe life of their dreams.
(10:54):
Playing small, in other words.
Mary (10:57):
Yeah, that is so much about what I talk about on my
show is taking up your space,and I think sometimes those
messages and we're going to getinto a little more of the sort
of this inner critic idea but Ithink sometimes those messages
are so ingrained that, as you'resaying, they're impacting our
decisions and behaviors andsometimes we don't even know it,
(11:19):
because I think in what I do itcan be really hard for some
people to hear those thoughts,those negative thoughts that
might be saying something likeare you kidding, you can't do
that, or you know we so oftenhear the term imposter syndrome
when we try to do something andwe think I'm not cut out for
this, or this other person cando this better than I can, or
(11:44):
this other person can do thisbetter than I can.
So I think, first of all, beingable to really hear those
thoughts and then challenge themis important.
So, in the work that you do,when you know that someone is
stuck in this kind ofself-critical cycle, where do
you begin?
Like, what are some of thefirst steps you might take with
them?
Julie (12:03):
Right, well, you're absolutely right that a lot of
times it's not recognized whatthese thoughts are actually
conveying might not come out inclear, full sentences, right
that that someone can easilyacknowledge.
So we just slow down theprocess and we first look at the
feelings.
Well, when do you feel low?
(12:25):
And let's talk about some ofthe messages in that moment.
Let's say you showed up to anevent.
You know it will be differentfor each client, but well, I
showed up to an event and when Iwent home I really was
ruminating about that event.
Okay, what was some of thatrumination about?
We'll really kind of break itdown and slow it down to be able
(12:49):
to see what those messages areactually saying, because
awareness is the first step.
What are you telling yourself?
And a lot of these women?
They've done some of the deeperwork and so when they come to
me they're really quitefrustrated that their mind is
still playing an old tape,they're using an old wiring that
(13:11):
was probably reinforced foryears and years.
And they'll say but consciously, I know this isn't true,
Consciously, I know that I cando this, or I know that I don't
need to worry about what othersthink about me, for instance,
but their minds are really stuckin an old neural pathway.
(13:32):
That's quite practiced.
So we bring awareness to it anda lot of these steps that I go
through are actually in myRelease, the Inner Critic
workbook that I offer online Ifyou just go to my website at
julievcoachingcom.
But bringing awareness is stepone and then what we'll do is
(13:53):
understand the intent behindthat voice.
You know, a lot of times we canlook at that inner critic and
say, well, why are you doingthis to me?
I'm going to push against you,you are against me.
It'll become this inside battle.
When we know from Carl Jungthat what we resist does persist
(14:15):
, it will rest harder.
And when we understand theintent of this inner critic, if
we really can examine that andhave a little compassion for it,
it changes the course of theentire dialogue.
It changes the course of whatwe feel empowered to do.
As far as changing that voice,A lot of the times the intent is
(14:39):
to protect us, to keep us safe.
Maybe someone had someembarrassing moments around
standing up in front of a groupor shining in some way, and so
from that very primal or youngage they might have had a voice
that says play small, don'tstand up, don't draw attention
(15:01):
to yourself.
Stand up, don't draw attentionto yourself, You're going to
embarrass yourself.
And that voice becomes, whenit's trying to protect us, at a
young age typically, although itcan start later in life it
becomes a way that is outdated.
It becomes a way that isholding you back when you've
outgrown a lot of those samethoughts or a lot of those same
(15:24):
fears.
So, identifying what it'strying to do, examining that
fear and then soothing the fear,giving it compassion.
I understand that at one pointstanding up in front of a group
was really terrifying to me andI did want to protect myself.
(15:44):
And it makes a lot of sensethat this voice is telling me
this.
But give it some compassion,Because when that fear is seen
and given some understanding, itcan also be given the room to
redefine.
Mary (15:58):
For sure.
And when these inner criticalthoughts develop early, it does
often come from parents.
And this is not parent blaming,because I think sometimes we
may inadvertently say or dosomething that lands really hard
on someone.
Even as adults, I thinksometimes we don't always know
the impact that we're having orhow somebody might take
(16:21):
something.
But you're exactly right thatwe are trying to figure out the
whole time.
We're children how am Isupposed to navigate this?
And we look to those people inour lives as we're growing up to
get those clues.
So if there's something thatsomeone doesn't like or someone
may make even an offhandedcomment about oh I didn't think
(16:45):
you would be any good atbaseball, or I didn't think you
were a good writer, we can startto internalize that and oh,
maybe I'm not supposed to bethis.
And even when, as you're saying,like we might do something
where we might start withconfidence, and we get up in
front of a group and we don't dowell, and then our amygdala,
(17:09):
that little part of our brainthat's always scanning to keep
us safe, is like oh, you don'twant to do that again.
So you're right, it'sinteresting how some of these
things develop and when weresist them.
You're exactly right.
If we don't go there, if wecontinue to kind of say it's
(17:31):
going to feel much easier tojust not even try, then that's
one more way we've just sort ofstrengthened that limitation.
So I think pushing into that isimportant and understanding the
emotion, because sometimes Ihave clients who will say I'm
not thinking anything, I justfeel anxiety.
(17:52):
And so I think when you talkabout accepting the feeling,
befriending the feeling, andthen you can understand where
it's coming from and evenbefriending that critic because
really you're right, they aretrying to keep us safe,
understand where it's comingfrom and even befriending that
critic, because really you'reright, they are trying to keep
us safe.
So being able to even have thatdialogue, that, okay,
understand that you're worriedabout this, but we're going to
(18:14):
try to do it anyway you can feellike, oh my God, I'm talking to
myself, but I think that can besort of an avenue to lessen how
strong the fear or anxietymight be.
Julie (18:28):
Absolutely.
And if there's one thing I'm infavor of, it is talking to
oneself.
Yeah, a wonderful tool, becausewe do have these parts inside
us that come from differenttimes in our lives or different
perceptions, and really you knowthe one child that might be
(18:48):
impacted by the statement of theparent that I'm surprised that
you're good at baseball.
Another child might not takethat in and perceive it in the
same sort of way or draw thesame message from it.
So I have some compassion nowbeing a parent of some of my
children are adults now, and tobe a parent and look back and
(19:12):
say, wow, you know, parentsreally are doing their best and
have very little control overhow their children are going to
interpret certain things.
You know some things are justnot right to say to kids or
damaging overall, but manythings you know our kids and
kids in general can draw throughtheir own filter.
(19:32):
So I think that communicationwith kids, but then also within
ourselves, talk to yourself,because now there's an
opportunity to look back at thatlittle version of you that was
frozen in time at that place andhave a reasonable conversation.
In other words, parenting thatinner child, right To be able to
say you know what?
(19:54):
You're stuck there, I get it.
I have compassion.
You can look it in the eyes asI tell my clients have
compassion for it.
And then you can be the parentto help coach that fear, to help
coach that voice and say youknow what, though?
We've outgrown this there.
It's time to move on.
It's time to shine at thispoint.
(20:16):
What was helping all thoseyears ago is now hurting us, and
so, having that conversationwith yourself, even if it feels
silly to say it's time to moveon, it's time to get bigger,
it's time to grow.
Here's how you can help me now,and that goes into the second
part of redefining and reframingand giving that inner voice a
(20:41):
new message what do you want tohear?
How do you want to supportyourself?
Give yourself the messages thatyou want your inner voice to
say, because those need to berepeated.
That's where, in my work, youknow we'll go through coaching.
But I also make hypnoticrecordings because when the
brain slows down out of ouractive beta frequencies, where
(21:08):
everything's moving a littlefaster, we're very aware of our
outer world.
When it slows down, say whenyou're falling asleep or when
you're in the shower and you'rejust zoned out, your brain
shifts from those betafrequencies into alpha, and
alpha is more so what childrenare in at below the age of 12.
(21:30):
You can correct me if I'm wrongthat they're primarily an alpha
in this more daydreamy statewhere they're so imprintable and
they learn music easily andlanguages more easily.
And we can purposefully slowour minds down in meditation to
those alpha frequencies and thengive ourselves the messages
(21:55):
that we want to more efficientlyimprint and integrate the
messages that when I createrecordings for my clients.
Those words come straight frommy clients how do you want to
talk to yourself, how do youwant to feel?
And the brain learns throughrepetition.
You know I've heard it morethan once and I believe it that
(22:17):
beliefs are repeated thoughtsand if we can give ourselves
different repeated thoughts andreally emotionally attached to
them, we can create differentbeliefs and a new inner dialogue
that is supportive and kind.
Mary (22:33):
Well, I definitely want to talk more about hypnosis
because it is so far into my ownwork and I think there might be
a lot of misconception aroundit, so I want to definitely dig
into that a little bit.
But I also want to kind ofcircle back a little bit and
reinforce that for many of us wedeveloped certain things to
(22:57):
truly keep us safe, thatsometimes we may have had a home
life where we stayed small, tostay under the radar, to stay
safe and so, as you're saying,to now maybe thank that part of
us that protected us.
But also sometimes I think of it.
As you know, I think we allhave one of those friends where
(23:20):
we love them, but every now andthen they come out with
something and we're like, really.
So I think if we can eveninject a little bit of humor
into this idea of sort ofbefriending, thanking this inner
critic and saying, okay, nowyou can step over here because
we're sort of going to rewritethe narrative, I always think
(23:43):
throwing a little humor in canhelp.
But if we can think of it inthat way, as it really is kind
of that friend who will doanything, can help a little bit.
So let's go back to the idea ofhypnosis because, you know, I
think for a long time, until Ibecame educated, hypnosis to me
(24:07):
was what we would see in some ofthose sketches on stage where
somebody would have the pocketwatch and you're getting very
sleepy.
So can you tell us a little bitabout what hypnosis really is
and a little bit more of how youuse that with your clients?
Julie (24:24):
Yes, absolutely, and it was the same for me.
When I heard the word hypnosisgrowing up, it was the stage
show.
Hypnosis in my work is slowingthe brain into a very relaxed
and allowing state and thenbeing able to integrate messages
(24:45):
and take suggestions.
In my work it is only thesuggestions that are from my
clients that I'm giving, but myclients are in full control.
If they wanted to, they couldjust get up and stop the process
.
It is a friendly process where Iam saying you know, if anything
(25:06):
doesn't sound like it's in youralignment, we want to default
to your gut instinct, to yourintuition, first and foremost.
So if there's any words youwant me to change, you know
after we're done they'll say youknow before you send me the
recording, maybe alter that wordor take that word out, because
(25:27):
I have a history with that wordor whatever it may be.
So it really is just a slowing,a relaxed state.
I think how people are put intohypnosis can vary.
I just run them throughrelaxing their body parts,
focusing on their breathing.
We'll go down a set ofhypothetical stairs, just
(25:51):
visualizing getting into thatinternal focus where the outside
world just drifts away and theinside world becomes very real.
Mary (26:02):
Well, we are made to think , and I think that's where we
get into a lot of trouble.
But what people don't mayberecognize in everyday life is
that our brain has a lot ofdifferent states to access and
that's part of why we are ableto heal.
So it sounds like you sort oftake them through, steps that
(26:23):
kind of make the brain morereceptive to healing.
Some of this Is that accurate.
Julie (26:31):
That is accurate.
Yes, and when we can slow downthe brain, what we're doing is
we're bypassing the criticalmind, the part of the brain that
sort of filters things out andhyper focuses and can jump
around.
We're getting to the places ofstillness where we can integrate
information more easily, wherewe can access information more
(26:56):
easily.
It's that daydreamy state and,as you said, this is a perfectly
natural state.
It's a sleepy type of state,sleepy but aware.
Right, our brain naturally goesthrough these cycles of being
in Delta, which is the slowest,and then theta, which is that
dream state, and alpha, thedaydreamy state, and then beta,
(27:19):
our awake brain, and high betais that fight, flight, freeze.
So it's really just voluntarilytaking your brain and slowing
it down, coaching it into someslowness to be able to integrate
and process information moreefficiently integrate and
(27:39):
process information moreefficiently.
Mary (27:40):
Yeah, that's really cool.
And do you create therecordings while you are sharing
a space with a client?
Julie (27:45):
I do.
So, I am very intentional beforeI go into a session with a
client, I'm entering into theirspace, into their.
I'm entering into their space,into their energy field and this
is a sacred place, and so I'mvery conscious of my clarity.
(28:05):
Going in, I leave my baggage atthe door.
I have a little mental processthat I go through, where I ask
for higher guidance and I gointo a session knowing that I'm
entering for lack of a betterway to put it into someone
else's space, into their sacredchamber.
(28:27):
Right, they're trusting me withtheir information and, as a
result of that, I feel whatthey're going through and I can
often receive messages that feellike they're in their higher
alignment.
So what I do is I, when we getto the place in the session,
that we create a recording whichis maybe about every other
(28:49):
session or or even every third,if a recording still really
resonating.
We might go every third, butthey're progressive recordings.
We might go every third, butthey're progressive recordings.
And when we start a recording, Icall myself into a relaxed
state where I am more, even more, receptive to information and
(29:10):
my intuition to inspirationbetter way to put it.
So what we do is we create therecording right then and there,
and I use my inspired intuitionto go through the recording, to
create the recording on the spotbased off of our conversation,
based off of what they have letme know that is powerful to them
(29:34):
, that are truths they want tointegrate at this point in our
journey together and thingswe've broken down and aha
moments that they might've had,and I'll integrate all of this,
including anything I'm inspiredto say which they'll report back
, is sometimes the most powerfulmoments in my own process of
(29:55):
letting go.
So, yes, we record it on thespot and then, after the call, I
will spend some time justcleaning anything up.
I need to clean up and I put itto some beautiful music and
create a lovely tool for theseclients to start where they are
and be able to enter into aspace of both integration but
(30:18):
also up leveling their generalstate of frequency, their
general mood, their being ableto align more with their true
selves through these recordings.
Mary (30:30):
Well, even as you're talking, I sort of feel my
shoulders dropping.
First of all, you have a greatvoice for it, thank you.
But just thinking about thatwhole process and I'm struck so
often.
It doesn't matter how long I dothis work, but I'm struck so
often that when someone is in aspace with another person, the
(30:52):
beauty of that and being able toallow a client whether it's in
a coaching relationship, in atherapy relationship, but really
inviting the client to thetable that we aren't an expert I
always shy away from that word,but you're exactly right in
(31:13):
sort of being able to access thefeeling of connection with a
client and there is a sense ofthis is the direction to go, but
also being able to check withthem.
You know how's that feel to you.
Does this feel right?
Julie (31:30):
And that really is the key, because a good coach or
therapist, I'm sure it's aboutthe client, it's about their
alignment, and so, from the jump, if there is anything that I am
saying that they go.
No, you know, that doesn't feellike the right direction.
(31:52):
We pivot because they have thatcompass inside them, and that's
my only job.
My job is not to implement myway.
My job is not to implement somesort of higher wisdom that they
don't have access to.
It's about guiding them back tothem, because I believe we all
(32:14):
have access to our own higherwisdom, and when we can not use
my coaching as a constant way tocome into alignment, no, my job
is to coach them to find theirown alignment, and that's, I
think, what we all truly want100%, and you touched on
(32:37):
something I talk about a lotwhich is essential nature that I
do believe that inside we allknow, but we have such a noisy
world that we've lost ourconnection to that.
Mary (32:50):
You talked about the ages of 8 to 12.
And I don't know the exactresearch on that, but I do know
that kids know what they wantand you know.
Then, as we are socialized orwe have traumas or we have a
certain type of family of origin, these are the layers that I
think start to be put over ourtrue self, kind of like a
(33:13):
blanket over our essentialnature.
But I think that just in doingthings the way you do, you are
creating empowerment, which Ifeel like in the beginning of
the process that's what theinner critic is taking away.
So you're empowering the clientfrom the gate to be able to say
(33:36):
, yeah, this feels right.
No, this doesn't feel right,and it also strikes me.
So I facilitate programs onsleep.
I had my own struggles,especially when I hit midlife,
and so I love facilitating sleep, and a lot of what I do is
aligned with nature, and sothat's a whole thing.
(33:56):
But part of this hypnosis isaccessing some of those states
that we go through in sleep thatare so healing and that without
a process during the day ofhypnosis.
Some of us may not even trulyaccess that at night because
(34:16):
we're not great sleepers.
So I love that.
Julie (34:20):
And then wake up feeling exhausted, right.
I remember hearing that monksthat are meditating for you know
, six, eight hours a day orwhatever it is that they'll only
need four hours of sleep atnight and I thought that was so
interesting because they'rebasically giving their body that
restorative state when they'remeditating.
(34:41):
And in my own life I found thatwhen I'm an avid meditator I
love meditating, whether it'sfor three minutes or for 45, I
enjoy that relaxed state ofletting go and surrender and I
have noticed that when I startedmeditating I started needing
less sleep because I think we do.
(35:02):
We access those theta brainwaves that really restore and
rejuvenate.
I follow some of Dr JoeDispenza's work and I've done
his week-long retreats and someof his courses and he talks
about all the chemicals over athousand chemicals that are
released in the body when yourbrain just drops out of that
(35:23):
active beta, when it goes fromgo mode and everybody's alert to
that alpha and then theta modeswhere it's rest and restoration
and repair and healing and justbeautiful anti-inflammatory
effects for the body.
So kind of a tangent, but Ilove it all.
Mary (35:45):
Oh, yeah, I think we know that sleep is important.
I mean, unfortunately, in oursociety, you know that kind of
motto I'll sleep when I'm deadbecause we think we have to be
so busy.
But the more we're learningthat those deeper levels of
sleep actually physicallycleanse our brain, so, yeah,
(36:06):
it's really important.
And I think doing things likeyou're talking about like I'll
bring in mindfulness, becausethat's obviously a big key here,
and mindfulness is somethingI've talked about a lot it
doesn't need to be like you'retalking about the monks.
That's not sitting there forfour to six hours, it's just
being aware and being groundedin the moment.
(36:27):
Even if it's 30 seconds, ishelpful for your brain.
And I think the other thingyou're sort of saying is, as we
get used to lowering that levelof concern or allowing some of
those deeper brain waves tohappen, we are rewiring,
(36:47):
literally rewiring our brain.
Julie (36:50):
Yeah, Beautiful healing thing.
Just to even, like you said,take 30 seconds just to be aware
of your body, just to feel yourshoulders relax, just to feel
the muscles in your face, yourjaw relax, which is often how
I'll start relaxing someone intoa meditative state.
(37:11):
It really is that letting go.
You can feel the energy in yourbody shift If you just breathe
into your belly for 30 secondsit's a it's a beautiful thing,
and we really do have more powerin our state than than we
(37:31):
realize sometimes.
Mary (37:32):
Yeah, and sometimes I think people think well, I
breathe all the time, How's deepbreathing going to help?
And really all of those things.
They seem simple but they'repowerful in their simplicity.
So there's something I want tosort of rope in, and you
mentioned law of attraction.
First of all, can you definethat a little so we're all kind
(37:54):
of functioning from the sameunderstanding?
And then how do you integratethat into your work?
Julie (38:00):
Yeah, I love law of attraction and the reason is I
was very science minded growingup.
I was a biology major incollege and love science, I love
physics, I love learning aboutresonance and frequency and when
I learned about law ofattraction this all made sense
(38:22):
to me from more of thescientific standpoint.
Now I know sometimes law ofattraction can come off as sort
of a woo-woo, you know like justthrow it out there to the
universe and it'll bounce backto you and you'll end up with
the blue bike on your frontdoorstep.
And that isn't how I see law ofattraction.
I see law of attraction isresonance.
(38:43):
It's really about like thingsthat are at the same resonance
will vibrate and attract eachother.
If a tuning fork at 428 hertzis hit, the other tuning forks
around it will not vibrate, buta tuning fork near it that is
(39:04):
also 428 hertz that's where itresonates will vibrate.
And that's how I see law ofattraction is that like
frequencies will attract andresonate.
Now a really watered down way toput this is let's say, you need
a new accountant and everyonehas an electromagnetic field and
(39:28):
you can feel someone's presenceright.
And so if you met an accountanton the street and they had 20
years experience and did a goodjob.
An intelligent person, but hisshoulders are slumped and he or
she looks bored or disinterestedwhen they're speaking about
their work.
You're not going to be drawn tohiring that person.
(39:52):
If you met someone with evenhalf the experience, that seemed
excited, that seemed like theyown their work, they take
accountability in their work,they're interested, they're
engaged, they are resonatingwith, aligning with this job.
That's what you want.
You would pick the secondaccountant.
So to me, I see it as how areyou putting out your energy
(40:18):
around you If you want thatupgrade at your work, if you
want that promotion?
Are you acting as if youalready have it?
And what I mean by that is areyou showing up to work in the
presence of that next role andembodying that next role?
If you already had that nextrole, how would you walk
(40:41):
differently, how would youengage differently, how would
you do your job differently?
Because it's the people that dothat now that resonate with
that next promotion, thatresonate with that next step.
It's about finding the feelings,finding the emotions and
embodying it, and then you justattract those things that are
(41:05):
resonating at those frequenciesinto your life.
A lot of time.
It is about that letting go andour resistance can hold us back
from things when we're arguingfor our own limitations.
So when we can clean up some ofthat energy and law of
attraction is always happening.
I mean, we are alwaysattracting around us, but if we
(41:30):
can focus and intentionallyattract and embody what we're
looking for, it flows in in amuch easier way.
Now does that mean that wecould lay on our couch and just
feel having a nicer, biggerhouse, and then someone will
call us and jump in and save usand say here's your nicer,
(41:52):
bigger house.
I just felt that you deservedit.
No, it comes in inspired steps.
The universe or God or whoeveryou look, science even it will
come with the next step.
Inspiration will come, inspiredaction to be able to take the
next step, to be able to line upeven further with that thing.
(42:15):
Fun story I wanted to upgradeour living situation During
COVID.
Our house started to feel verysmall.
I still had all three kids inthe house at that point and what
I did was I started to alignwith the feeling of the house
that I wanted and what I foundwas that there were many little
(42:38):
areas of resistance where Imight have sabotaged or even not
recognized if the right thingdid come along.
For instance, when I picturedus in a nicer, larger home, I
pictured everything to beimmaculate.
Well, my family is notimmaculate and there is, you
(42:59):
know, probably a few dishes inour sink right now from when the
kids got their lunches readythis morning, and there are
things that are going to be indisarray.
And when I realized that and Irealized some of the things that
were holding me up from feelinglike it could truly be mine
Again, it's a worthiness game,right?
Only a really clean persondeserves a house like that or is
(43:23):
worthy of a house like that.
And when I realized thatresistance, I was able to
picture myself in a house likethat and practice it.
It was a little uncomfortable.
Right away, I'm going topicture my family in a bigger,
beautiful home.
And, yeah, the throw pillowsare in disarray on the couch and
(43:44):
someone left their sweatshirtover the bar stool and there's
dishes in the sink and I startedto picture it and have so much
fun with this.
And I started to picture it andhave so much fun with this.
And, I kid you not, it waswithin about a week of making
that shift that my neighboracross the street now this one
kind of did, come to me.
I was following the inspiredaction of lining up with it.
(44:07):
But this one came to me.
My neighbor across the streetsaid you know, are you looking
to upsize your house?
I thought I heard you mentionthat six months ago.
And I said, yeah, I actually am.
And he said well, I knowsomeone that's in this
neighborhood so I would love foryou to stay in this
neighborhood.
I have a vested interest.
He was a buddy of mine and hesaid they're moving into a
(44:30):
retirement facility and they'dreally like to know who buys
their house.
And we met them and starteddown the track.
It was everything that I desired, and more.
I absolutely.
It's the house we're in today.
No bidding war, no real estateagents.
It was just a beautifulunfolding.
But I do think I needed toclean up my vibration in order
(44:53):
for that to unfold for me, andthat's what I help my clients do
.
So I hope that answered yourquestion.
Any clarity you need, let meknow.
Mary (45:02):
Well, julie, I really don't think I've heard anyone
explain that quite as eloquentlyand with those types of real
examples as you just did.
It's kind of like the hypnosisthing, because I think we feel
safer when we can kind of focuson things that are real and that
we can see.
And you know, the law ofattraction often is painted as
(45:23):
you're right, this woo-woo thing.
But I love that you talkedabout science, because I am a
plant geek and anybody thatlistens knows that I am a tree
hugger, I'm a nature girl, andplants communicate all the time.
They communicate underground,they communicate with each other
.
There are vibrations ofcommunication all the time.
(45:47):
And when you first startedtalking about law of attraction,
what I thought about is how, sooften, we diminish our own
vibration by what's around us.
So, in other words, you know, Iread somewhere you are the five
people that are closest to you.
So think about the behaviors,the frequency or however you
(46:09):
want to term it, of the fivepeople that you choose to keep
closest to you.
And sometimes that can limit ustoo.
But you've given this greatexample of just someone's stance
or, if they're standing, sortof hunched over, and that's
again why I always say take upyour space.
(46:29):
Stand in mountain pose withyour shoulders back and down.
Send out a vibration into theworld that your heart is open
and you deserve to receive whatyou really want to be fulfilled.
Julie (46:44):
I love that.
I love that so much and Icompletely agree with the five
people closest to you.
One thing I will say is thatwhen people do start to take up
their space you know I workprimarily with women and it's so
exciting to see a woman stepinto more of her worth, right
(47:05):
and and take up her space andown her feelings and that
stepping into that higherfrequency, you know, really
embodying who she is.
What we also notice is that thepeople or the five people
around her will often meet herthere.
You know we can also create adifferent frequency around
(47:29):
ourselves, that often the peoplearound us will meet us in and
flourish with us and they'll beuplifted by our presence and
then it becomes this fun backand forth of higher vibration
and fun and joking or orlightheartedness or whatever.
It feels better, I guess, iswhat I'm trying to say.
(47:50):
So, yeah, sometimes you know,if you notice that, oh, it's
really hard to maintain my spaceand my sense of worth in
certain presences.
Yeah, maybe it's worthevaluating those relationships
and creating new boundaries, butwhen it comes to your own
(48:10):
frequency, you know there arethose individuals around you
that will feed off of that andgo oh, I mean, it's almost like
subconsciously they're saying ohgood, we're feeling lighter now
.
We're having more fun when we'retogether.
Now we're talking about lighterthings.
We're more encouraging, we'remore uplifting, we're talking
nicer about ourselves, and thereare some people that will
(48:31):
resonate and feed off of that.
Sometimes we don't realize whenwe are contributing to the
lower energy until we change it.
Mary (48:39):
Oh, that's so true, and I think when you do have a group
of girlfriends that are allfiring on that higher frequency,
you're unstoppable together.
I think that encouragement ofeach other is really powerful.
Julie (48:55):
Oh, agreed, agreed.
Mary (48:56):
Yes.
Julie (49:02):
Even if there's one person, you know a lot of people
.
If you've been at a certainwavelength for a while and
that's sort of your thermostatis set at a lower temperature
when it comes to happiness andyou've been surrounded by people
like that, if you can eventhink of one person that is a
bit more uplifting to be around,or you enjoy yourself better
when you're around them, investin that relationship, start
there.
(49:22):
If you don't have a whole biggroup, that's okay, but starting
there can help.
You then attract more peoplelike that into your life.
Mary (49:32):
Yeah, and everybody has that amazing high open frequency
.
So I'm guessing there might besome people listening that they
may never have access that andthey may use that to convince
themselves that you know, Ican't fire up there, I can't
fire at that frequency.
We all have that because we'reall nature.
Julie (49:50):
Yes, yes, and you know what?
There's nothing.
I'm sure you feel this in yourwork, I just in my work there's.
There's nothing more excitingthan seeing and hearing a woman
say you know, I just want thisso much but I feel like it
doesn't apply to me.
And me being able to tell her,you know, first of all, everyone
says that, everyone thinks thatI thought that, and then to be
(50:15):
able to see her do the work andcommit to the reprogramming and
in her mind and change, is justone of the most exciting things.
I mean sometimes our latersessions we'll just talk about
all the wins and of course lifewon't be flawless from there
forward.
But how you deal with the ebbsand flows in life changes the
(50:37):
quality of your life.
You know how the filter youtake it through and the
perception you have and how youtalk to yourself through it and
to hear those wins is just sogratifying and so exciting.
And you know that ripple effectlike that quote from my site.
You know it's.
It's not just that womanchanging her family is
(50:58):
benefiting her friends arebenefiting, the world is
benefiting.
Her job is benefiting from herchanging from her up, leveling
her frequency and embodyingherself even more.
Mary (51:12):
Yeah, it's really, really powerful.
So, my gosh, this has been sucha great conversation, like all
these loose threads that I wouldlove to pull on, but we need to
wrap it up so fast.
I know it went.
It went incredibly fast and Ifeel so energized from this
conversation, which is good,because I have clients this
afternoon.
But you mentioned a resourceand I'm going to put that in the
(51:34):
show notes.
Can you say again what that is?
Julie (51:38):
Yeah Well, first of all, you can learn more about me, my
one-on-one sessions, my freeconsults for sessions, on my
website at Julie V coaching B,as in Victor julievcoachingcom.
Also on julievcoaching dot com,there is a free download, a
release the inner criticworkbook.
That is totally complimentary,but it walks through journaling
(52:02):
and visualization, through thesteps of transforming that inner
critic and it's a beautifulworkbook, a great place to start
for changing and up levelingthat inner voice into your inner
support to start for changingand up-leveling that inner voice
into your inner support so cool.
Mary (52:15):
Thank you for offering that and again, I will put links
to both of those things in theshow notes.
And thank you again, Julie, forbeing here.
This has been so, so wonderful.
Julie (52:27):
Oh, thank you for having me, mary.
We are like-minded soul sisters, I feel it, and it's been so,
so fun to chat with you.
Mary (52:35):
And I want to thank all of you for listening.
One of the best things aboutthis podcast to me is the
listeners and the community thatwe're creating.
If you have someone in yourlife that you think would
benefit from the information inthis episode because I know I do
please forward it to them.
And if you love listening,consider joining the Growing
Garden of Violets and supportthe show using the heart button
(52:59):
or the link at the bottom of theshow notes, depending where
you're streaming from.
And until next time, go outinto the world and be the
amazing, resilient, vibrantviolet that you are.
Welcome to No Shrinking Violence.
I'm your host, Mary Rothwell,licensed therapist and certified
integrative mental healthpractitioner.
I've created a space where wecelebrate the intuition and
power of women who want to breakfree from limiting narratives.
We'll explore all realms ofwellness, what it means to take
up space unapologetically, andhow your essential nature is key
(00:28):
to living life on your terms.
It's time to own your space,trust your nature and flourish.
Let's dive in.
Hi and welcome to the show.
I was having a conversation witha friend the other day about
messages from her parents thatshe got growing up, words that
(00:49):
she, like many of us, take toheart and allow to limit us in
how we take up our space in theworld.
Those early judgments carry alot of weight and sometimes the
women, or really anyone, thatallow these hurtful words or
experiences to create beliefsthat limit their narratives are
some of the most amazing, bright, emotionally intelligent and
(01:12):
sensitive people I know.
Those beliefs are whatcognitive behavioral therapists
will call irrational beliefs.
I like to qualify the termirrational because I think this
word itself is often applied towomen who show socially
unacceptable emotions like anger.
So for CBT cognitive behavioraltherapy purposes, irrational
(01:37):
simply means that it has nobasis.
In fact, there is no evidencethat it's true.
We all have these beliefs.
One of mine is that I'm toomuch for some people.
I have to remind myselfsometimes that if that's true,
it's a them problem.
Irrational beliefs fuel ournegative thoughts.
Example irrational belief I'm aburden to my family.
(02:01):
Negative thought I can't askfor support.
Sometimes it's hard to teaseapart the beliefs and the
thoughts.
The negative thoughts henceself-talk tend to be easier to
identify.
And those are the words, theinsidious, silent, judgmental
words of our inner critic.
Many people name theirs.
(02:23):
It makes it easier to tell themto shut up.
Today we're going to dig a bitinto how our inner critic
operates and, because you know Ilove to leave you with doables,
we're going to talk about someways we can start to quiet or
even challenge that bleepity,bleep inner critic.
My guest today is Julie VanElswyk.
She is a worthiness and law ofattraction coach who has guided
(02:47):
hundreds of women to rewireself-ridicule into deep inner
support and lasting confidence,helping them create lives that
feel peaceful, aligned andfulfilling.
Here is a quote I found onJulie's bio page: "I do this
work because I know the strengthand brilliance women carry and
I also know how often they turnthat energy inward, criticizing
(03:10):
themselves or carrying burdensthat were never theirs to hold.
I believe that when a womanheals and finds her freedom, it
creates a ripple effect thatuplifts the world around her.
Wow, I could have written thosesentences myself.
They totally resonate for me.
So welcome to no ShrinkingViolets, julie.
Julie (03:32):
Thank you, Mary.
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm happy to be here.
Mary (03:36):
We have so much to talk about.
Just reading all theinformation, the little bit of
talking we were able to do, Iknow that we're gonna have some
rich conversation today.
So how about, if we start with,could you share just a bit of
your personal story and what ledyou to do the work you're doing
?
Julie (03:55):
Yes, of course.
So I started my life enteringinto a large family and I had a
wonderful family, but I think myfilter as a sensitive child led
to me feeling a bit anonymousbeing in a group that size, and
so as I grew and developed myown coping skills, I believe a
(04:20):
lot of insecurity was involvedthere.
Well, fast forward to my early30s and my oldest son was
diagnosed with leukemia.
Now we know that these hugeevents in our lives are often
turning points, and it certainlywas for me.
We went through three and ahalf years of chemotherapy.
(04:42):
We went through a misdiagnosiswhere we were told we were going
to lose him.
It was.
There was a lot of trauma, andafter coming through that, I
started hyper-focusing on whathe ate, on what all of us ate,
on what we took into our minds,into our bodies environmental
(05:03):
toxins and what I really foundis that I had quite a bit of
PTSD.
I really needed to examine notonly what I'd been through with
my son, but when I went to atherapist and was treated
through EMDR therapy.
Through EMDR therapy it reallywent back to my childhood.
(05:30):
I had blamed myself so muchalong the way and talked so
critically to myself all alongthe way that, of course, when my
son was diagnosed, I blamed me.
I felt like cancer had come inin the night and violated my
child right under my nose.
That was how it felt in myheart that I had allowed this to
happen.
(05:51):
So, going through EMDR, I did aboatload of healing.
I learned how I was talking tomyself and, coming out of EMDR
even with that thousand poundslifted from my shoulders I
sought coaching.
I went through hypnosis.
I started listening torecordings and this really led
(06:12):
me to the path where I soughtout my own training to become a
coach, to study law ofattraction, to study worthiness
in women to be certified as ahypnosis practitioner worthiness
in women to be certified as ahypnosis practitioner, because I
saw how much these tools helpedme really clean up the wiring.
You know, my trauma therapy dida boatload of the work, but
(06:35):
afterwards I really was stuck inthese old patterns of thought
that needed a new practice andwhen I realized the power of
this in my own life, I reallywanted to be able to share that
with the world and truly there'snothing that brings me more joy
.
Mary (06:54):
Wow, that's quite a journey, and I think it's also
not uncommon that when anythinggoes awry, especially with our
children, women tend to look atwhat have I done that has
created this Right?
Yeah, and it sounds like you,once the diagnosis happened, you
really were scrambling to sortof smooth the way and try to
(07:16):
make it an easier path and likeworrying about everything, about
everything.
Julie (07:21):
Oh, absolutely Really, it was striving for control, for
control of my future, of myson's future, that this was not
going to happen again under mywatch.
And no one can carry that kindof burden.
I mean, life unfolds and welearn and we grow.
(07:42):
But you know, both my work withmindset, work in the scientific
realm but also in the spiritualrealm, has really helped me to
get into more of what I call, orwhat law of attraction speak
would call, a state of allowing,where we can say you know, my
(08:02):
job today is to be in myalignment with my soul and to be
in alignment with how I feel,best shining in the world, to
work through and acknowledge myemotions without guilt and then
to be able to let go, to be ableto really flow with the river.
And I think when we resist thatflow is when a lot of anxiety
(08:26):
creeps in.
Mary (08:28):
Oh for sure, yeah, for sure.
And it's so interesting to mebecause, over and over again, it
doesn't matter how long I dothe work I do or on the podcast
with my guests, even in my ownlife.
So often our personal journeyis what leads us to the work
that we do.
Yes, so the one thing I want toclarify if anyone doesn't know
(08:53):
what EMDR is, it is when someonewho has been trained will use
eye movement to help someoneprocess and I'm going to loosely
use the word resolve trauma.
It's really a cool way to useour brain and our neurons to
kind of process and find a placeto hold trauma.
(09:15):
Does that sound pretty accurate, julie?
Julie (09:18):
Yes, absolutely, and it connects the lobes of your brain
I mean more about thescientific aspect of this than I
do but in a way where you canaccess things that, in your
conscious, active mind, aren'treadily available.
Mary (09:34):
Yeah, and I think when it first came out and we're taking
a side tangent here, but I thinkwhen it first came out people
were like what?
But as we're learning aboutsleep, you know the REM stage of
sleep, where our eye movementhappens, is they found part of
what helps us to processmemories and things while we
(09:54):
sleep, and that EMDR sort ofmirrors some of that same stuff.
So it's really pretty cool.
So now in the work you do, whodo you primarily work with and
what would be examples of someof the challenges that your
clients might face?
Julie (10:10):
Yeah well, self-critical women that want to feel better,
that want to align with theirworth, that might see some
self-sabotage, even if theydon't know where it's coming
from.
I really not only relate, butcan see the path forward with
(10:30):
clients that are really quitehard on themselves, and when
they come into this work, a lotof the challenges are revolving
around anxiety or holdingthemselves back or shying away
from opportunities that theymight really be excited about
and maybe even avoiding creatingthe life of their dreams.
(10:54):
Playing small, in other words.
Mary (10:57):
Yeah, that is so much about what I talk about on my
show is taking up your space,and I think sometimes those
messages and we're going to getinto a little more of the sort
of this inner critic idea but Ithink sometimes those messages
are so ingrained that, as you'resaying, they're impacting our
decisions and behaviors andsometimes we don't even know it,
(11:19):
because I think in what I do itcan be really hard for some
people to hear those thoughts,those negative thoughts that
might be saying something likeare you kidding, you can't do
that, or you know we so oftenhear the term imposter syndrome
when we try to do something andwe think I'm not cut out for
this, or this other person cando this better than I can, or
(11:44):
this other person can do thisbetter than I can.
So I think, first of all, beingable to really hear those
thoughts and then challenge themis important.
So, in the work that you do,when you know that someone is
stuck in this kind ofself-critical cycle, where do
you begin?
Like, what are some of thefirst steps you might take with
them?
Julie (12:03):
Right, well, you're absolutely right that a lot of
times it's not recognized whatthese thoughts are actually
conveying might not come out inclear, full sentences, right
that that someone can easilyacknowledge.
So we just slow down theprocess and we first look at the
feelings.
Well, when do you feel low?
(12:25):
And let's talk about some ofthe messages in that moment.
Let's say you showed up to anevent.
You know it will be differentfor each client, but well, I
showed up to an event and when Iwent home I really was
ruminating about that event.
Okay, what was some of thatrumination about?
We'll really kind of break itdown and slow it down to be able
(12:49):
to see what those messages areactually saying, because
awareness is the first step.
What are you telling yourself?
And a lot of these women?
They've done some of the deeperwork and so when they come to
me they're really quitefrustrated that their mind is
still playing an old tape,they're using an old wiring that
(13:11):
was probably reinforced foryears and years.
And they'll say but consciously, I know this isn't true,
Consciously, I know that I cando this, or I know that I don't
need to worry about what othersthink about me, for instance,
but their minds are really stuckin an old neural pathway.
(13:32):
That's quite practiced.
So we bring awareness to it anda lot of these steps that I go
through are actually in myRelease, the Inner Critic
workbook that I offer online Ifyou just go to my website at
julievcoachingcom.
But bringing awareness is stepone and then what we'll do is
(13:53):
understand the intent behindthat voice.
You know, a lot of times we canlook at that inner critic and
say, well, why are you doingthis to me?
I'm going to push against you,you are against me.
It'll become this inside battle.
When we know from Carl Jungthat what we resist does persist
(14:15):
, it will rest harder.
And when we understand theintent of this inner critic, if
we really can examine that andhave a little compassion for it,
it changes the course of theentire dialogue.
It changes the course of whatwe feel empowered to do.
As far as changing that voice,A lot of the times the intent is
(14:39):
to protect us, to keep us safe.
Maybe someone had someembarrassing moments around
standing up in front of a groupor shining in some way, and so
from that very primal or youngage they might have had a voice
that says play small, don'tstand up, don't draw attention
(15:01):
to yourself.
Stand up, don't draw attentionto yourself, You're going to
embarrass yourself.
And that voice becomes, whenit's trying to protect us, at a
young age typically, although itcan start later in life it
becomes a way that is outdated.
It becomes a way that isholding you back when you've
outgrown a lot of those samethoughts or a lot of those same
(15:24):
fears.
So, identifying what it'strying to do, examining that
fear and then soothing the fear,giving it compassion.
I understand that at one pointstanding up in front of a group
was really terrifying to me andI did want to protect myself.
(15:44):
And it makes a lot of sensethat this voice is telling me
this.
But give it some compassion,Because when that fear is seen
and given some understanding, itcan also be given the room to
redefine.
Mary (15:58):
For sure.
And when these inner criticalthoughts develop early, it does
often come from parents.
And this is not parent blaming,because I think sometimes we
may inadvertently say or dosomething that lands really hard
on someone.
Even as adults, I thinksometimes we don't always know
the impact that we're having orhow somebody might take
(16:21):
something.
But you're exactly right thatwe are trying to figure out the
whole time.
We're children how am Isupposed to navigate this?
And we look to those people inour lives as we're growing up to
get those clues.
So if there's something thatsomeone doesn't like or someone
may make even an offhandedcomment about oh I didn't think
(16:45):
you would be any good atbaseball, or I didn't think you
were a good writer, we can startto internalize that and oh,
maybe I'm not supposed to bethis.
And even when, as you're saying,like we might do something
where we might start withconfidence, and we get up in
front of a group and we don't dowell, and then our amygdala,
(17:09):
that little part of our brainthat's always scanning to keep
us safe, is like oh, you don'twant to do that again.
So you're right, it'sinteresting how some of these
things develop and when weresist them.
You're exactly right.
If we don't go there, if wecontinue to kind of say it's
(17:31):
going to feel much easier tojust not even try, then that's
one more way we've just sort ofstrengthened that limitation.
So I think pushing into that isimportant and understanding the
emotion, because sometimes Ihave clients who will say I'm
not thinking anything, I justfeel anxiety.
(17:52):
And so I think when you talkabout accepting the feeling,
befriending the feeling, andthen you can understand where
it's coming from and evenbefriending that critic because
really you're right, they aretrying to keep us safe,
understand where it's comingfrom and even befriending that
critic, because really you'reright, they are trying to keep
us safe.
So being able to even have thatdialogue, that, okay,
understand that you're worriedabout this, but we're going to
(18:14):
try to do it anyway you can feellike, oh my God, I'm talking to
myself, but I think that can besort of an avenue to lessen how
strong the fear or anxietymight be.
Julie (18:28):
Absolutely.
And if there's one thing I'm infavor of, it is talking to
oneself.
Yeah, a wonderful tool, becausewe do have these parts inside
us that come from differenttimes in our lives or different
perceptions, and really you knowthe one child that might be
(18:48):
impacted by the statement of theparent that I'm surprised that
you're good at baseball.
Another child might not takethat in and perceive it in the
same sort of way or draw thesame message from it.
So I have some compassion nowbeing a parent of some of my
children are adults now, and tobe a parent and look back and
(19:12):
say, wow, you know, parentsreally are doing their best and
have very little control overhow their children are going to
interpret certain things.
You know some things are justnot right to say to kids or
damaging overall, but manythings you know our kids and
kids in general can draw throughtheir own filter.
(19:32):
So I think that communicationwith kids, but then also within
ourselves, talk to yourself,because now there's an
opportunity to look back at thatlittle version of you that was
frozen in time at that place andhave a reasonable conversation.
In other words, parenting thatinner child, right To be able to
say you know what?
(19:54):
You're stuck there, I get it.
I have compassion.
You can look it in the eyes asI tell my clients have
compassion for it.
And then you can be the parentto help coach that fear, to help
coach that voice and say youknow what, though?
We've outgrown this there.
It's time to move on.
It's time to shine at thispoint.
(20:16):
What was helping all thoseyears ago is now hurting us, and
so, having that conversationwith yourself, even if it feels
silly to say it's time to moveon, it's time to get bigger,
it's time to grow.
Here's how you can help me now,and that goes into the second
part of redefining and reframingand giving that inner voice a
(20:41):
new message what do you want tohear?
How do you want to supportyourself?
Give yourself the messages thatyou want your inner voice to
say, because those need to berepeated.
That's where, in my work, youknow we'll go through coaching.
But I also make hypnoticrecordings because when the
brain slows down out of ouractive beta frequencies, where
(21:08):
everything's moving a littlefaster, we're very aware of our
outer world.
When it slows down, say whenyou're falling asleep or when
you're in the shower and you'rejust zoned out, your brain
shifts from those betafrequencies into alpha, and
alpha is more so what childrenare in at below the age of 12.
(21:30):
You can correct me if I'm wrongthat they're primarily an alpha
in this more daydreamy statewhere they're so imprintable and
they learn music easily andlanguages more easily.
And we can purposefully slowour minds down in meditation to
those alpha frequencies and thengive ourselves the messages
(21:55):
that we want to more efficientlyimprint and integrate the
messages that when I createrecordings for my clients.
Those words come straight frommy clients how do you want to
talk to yourself, how do youwant to feel?
And the brain learns throughrepetition.
You know I've heard it morethan once and I believe it that
(22:17):
beliefs are repeated thoughtsand if we can give ourselves
different repeated thoughts andreally emotionally attached to
them, we can create differentbeliefs and a new inner dialogue
that is supportive and kind.
Mary (22:33):
Well, I definitely want to talk more about hypnosis
because it is so far into my ownwork and I think there might be
a lot of misconception aroundit, so I want to definitely dig
into that a little bit.
But I also want to kind ofcircle back a little bit and
reinforce that for many of us wedeveloped certain things to
(22:57):
truly keep us safe, thatsometimes we may have had a home
life where we stayed small, tostay under the radar, to stay
safe and so, as you're saying,to now maybe thank that part of
us that protected us.
But also sometimes I think of it.
As you know, I think we allhave one of those friends where
(23:20):
we love them, but every now andthen they come out with
something and we're like, really.
So I think if we can eveninject a little bit of humor
into this idea of sort ofbefriending, thanking this inner
critic and saying, okay, nowyou can step over here because
we're sort of going to rewritethe narrative, I always think
(23:43):
throwing a little humor in canhelp.
But if we can think of it inthat way, as it really is kind
of that friend who will doanything, can help a little bit.
So let's go back to the idea ofhypnosis because, you know, I
think for a long time, until Ibecame educated, hypnosis to me
(24:07):
was what we would see in some ofthose sketches on stage where
somebody would have the pocketwatch and you're getting very
sleepy.
So can you tell us a little bitabout what hypnosis really is
and a little bit more of how youuse that with your clients?
Julie (24:24):
Yes, absolutely, and it was the same for me.
When I heard the word hypnosisgrowing up, it was the stage
show.
Hypnosis in my work is slowingthe brain into a very relaxed
and allowing state and thenbeing able to integrate messages
(24:45):
and take suggestions.
In my work it is only thesuggestions that are from my
clients that I'm giving, but myclients are in full control.
If they wanted to, they couldjust get up and stop the process
.
It is a friendly process where Iam saying you know, if anything
(25:06):
doesn't sound like it's in youralignment, we want to default
to your gut instinct, to yourintuition, first and foremost.
So if there's any words youwant me to change, you know
after we're done they'll say youknow before you send me the
recording, maybe alter that wordor take that word out, because
(25:27):
I have a history with that wordor whatever it may be.
So it really is just a slowing,a relaxed state.
I think how people are put intohypnosis can vary.
I just run them throughrelaxing their body parts,
focusing on their breathing.
We'll go down a set ofhypothetical stairs, just
(25:51):
visualizing getting into thatinternal focus where the outside
world just drifts away and theinside world becomes very real.
Mary (26:02):
Well, we are made to think , and I think that's where we
get into a lot of trouble.
But what people don't mayberecognize in everyday life is
that our brain has a lot ofdifferent states to access and
that's part of why we are ableto heal.
So it sounds like you sort oftake them through, steps that
(26:23):
kind of make the brain morereceptive to healing.
Some of this Is that accurate.
Julie (26:31):
That is accurate.
Yes, and when we can slow downthe brain, what we're doing is
we're bypassing the criticalmind, the part of the brain that
sort of filters things out andhyper focuses and can jump
around.
We're getting to the places ofstillness where we can integrate
information more easily, wherewe can access information more
(26:56):
easily.
It's that daydreamy state and,as you said, this is a perfectly
natural state.
It's a sleepy type of state,sleepy but aware.
Right, our brain naturally goesthrough these cycles of being
in Delta, which is the slowest,and then theta, which is that
dream state, and alpha, thedaydreamy state, and then beta,
(27:19):
our awake brain, and high betais that fight, flight, freeze.
So it's really just voluntarilytaking your brain and slowing
it down, coaching it into someslowness to be able to integrate
and process information moreefficiently integrate and
(27:39):
process information moreefficiently.
Mary (27:40):
Yeah, that's really cool.
And do you create therecordings while you are sharing
a space with a client?
Julie (27:45):
I do.
So, I am very intentional beforeI go into a session with a
client, I'm entering into theirspace, into their.
I'm entering into their space,into their energy field and this
is a sacred place, and so I'mvery conscious of my clarity.
(28:05):
Going in, I leave my baggage atthe door.
I have a little mental processthat I go through, where I ask
for higher guidance and I gointo a session knowing that I'm
entering for lack of a betterway to put it into someone
else's space, into their sacredchamber.
(28:27):
Right, they're trusting me withtheir information and, as a
result of that, I feel whatthey're going through and I can
often receive messages that feellike they're in their higher
alignment.
So what I do is I, when we getto the place in the session,
that we create a recording whichis maybe about every other
(28:49):
session or or even every third,if a recording still really
resonating.
We might go every third, butthey're progressive recordings.
We might go every third, butthey're progressive recordings.
And when we start a recording, Icall myself into a relaxed
state where I am more, even more, receptive to information and
(29:10):
my intuition to inspirationbetter way to put it.
So what we do is we create therecording right then and there,
and I use my inspired intuitionto go through the recording, to
create the recording on the spotbased off of our conversation,
based off of what they have letme know that is powerful to them
(29:34):
, that are truths they want tointegrate at this point in our
journey together and thingswe've broken down and aha
moments that they might've had,and I'll integrate all of this,
including anything I'm inspiredto say which they'll report back
, is sometimes the most powerfulmoments in my own process of
(29:55):
letting go.
So, yes, we record it on thespot and then, after the call, I
will spend some time justcleaning anything up.
I need to clean up and I put itto some beautiful music and
create a lovely tool for theseclients to start where they are
and be able to enter into aspace of both integration but
(30:18):
also up leveling their generalstate of frequency, their
general mood, their being ableto align more with their true
selves through these recordings.
Mary (30:30):
Well, even as you're talking, I sort of feel my
shoulders dropping.
First of all, you have a greatvoice for it, thank you.
But just thinking about thatwhole process and I'm struck so
often.
It doesn't matter how long I dothis work, but I'm struck so
often that when someone is in aspace with another person, the
(30:52):
beauty of that and being able toallow a client whether it's in
a coaching relationship, in atherapy relationship, but really
inviting the client to thetable that we aren't an expert I
always shy away from that word,but you're exactly right in
(31:13):
sort of being able to access thefeeling of connection with a
client and there is a sense ofthis is the direction to go, but
also being able to check withthem.
You know how's that feel to you.
Does this feel right?
Julie (31:30):
And that really is the key, because a good coach or
therapist, I'm sure it's aboutthe client, it's about their
alignment, and so, from the jump, if there is anything that I am
saying that they go.
No, you know, that doesn't feellike the right direction.
(31:52):
We pivot because they have thatcompass inside them, and that's
my only job.
My job is not to implement myway.
My job is not to implement somesort of higher wisdom that they
don't have access to.
It's about guiding them back tothem, because I believe we all
(32:14):
have access to our own higherwisdom, and when we can not use
my coaching as a constant way tocome into alignment, no, my job
is to coach them to find theirown alignment, and that's, I
think, what we all truly want100%, and you touched on
(32:37):
something I talk about a lotwhich is essential nature that I
do believe that inside we allknow, but we have such a noisy
world that we've lost ourconnection to that.
Mary (32:50):
You talked about the ages of 8 to 12.
And I don't know the exactresearch on that, but I do know
that kids know what they wantand you know.
Then, as we are socialized orwe have traumas or we have a
certain type of family of origin, these are the layers that I
think start to be put over ourtrue self, kind of like a
(33:13):
blanket over our essentialnature.
But I think that just in doingthings the way you do, you are
creating empowerment, which Ifeel like in the beginning of
the process that's what theinner critic is taking away.
So you're empowering the clientfrom the gate to be able to say
(33:36):
, yeah, this feels right.
No, this doesn't feel right,and it also strikes me.
So I facilitate programs onsleep.
I had my own struggles,especially when I hit midlife,
and so I love facilitating sleep, and a lot of what I do is
aligned with nature, and sothat's a whole thing.
(33:56):
But part of this hypnosis isaccessing some of those states
that we go through in sleep thatare so healing and that without
a process during the day ofhypnosis.
Some of us may not even trulyaccess that at night because
(34:16):
we're not great sleepers.
So I love that.
Julie (34:20):
And then wake up feeling exhausted, right.
I remember hearing that monksthat are meditating for you know
, six, eight hours a day orwhatever it is that they'll only
need four hours of sleep atnight and I thought that was so
interesting because they'rebasically giving their body that
restorative state when they'remeditating.
(34:41):
And in my own life I found thatwhen I'm an avid meditator I
love meditating, whether it'sfor three minutes or for 45, I
enjoy that relaxed state ofletting go and surrender and I
have noticed that when I startedmeditating I started needing
less sleep because I think we do.
(35:02):
We access those theta brainwaves that really restore and
rejuvenate.
I follow some of Dr JoeDispenza's work and I've done
his week-long retreats and someof his courses and he talks
about all the chemicals over athousand chemicals that are
released in the body when yourbrain just drops out of that
(35:23):
active beta, when it goes fromgo mode and everybody's alert to
that alpha and then theta modeswhere it's rest and restoration
and repair and healing and justbeautiful anti-inflammatory
effects for the body.
So kind of a tangent, but Ilove it all.
Mary (35:45):
Oh, yeah, I think we know that sleep is important.
I mean, unfortunately, in oursociety, you know that kind of
motto I'll sleep when I'm deadbecause we think we have to be
so busy.
But the more we're learningthat those deeper levels of
sleep actually physicallycleanse our brain, so, yeah,
(36:06):
it's really important.
And I think doing things likeyou're talking about like I'll
bring in mindfulness, becausethat's obviously a big key here,
and mindfulness is somethingI've talked about a lot it
doesn't need to be like you'retalking about the monks.
That's not sitting there forfour to six hours, it's just
being aware and being groundedin the moment.
(36:27):
Even if it's 30 seconds, ishelpful for your brain.
And I think the other thingyou're sort of saying is, as we
get used to lowering that levelof concern or allowing some of
those deeper brain waves tohappen, we are rewiring,
(36:47):
literally rewiring our brain.
Julie (36:50):
Yeah, Beautiful healing thing.
Just to even, like you said,take 30 seconds just to be aware
of your body, just to feel yourshoulders relax, just to feel
the muscles in your face, yourjaw relax, which is often how
I'll start relaxing someone intoa meditative state.
(37:11):
It really is that letting go.
You can feel the energy in yourbody shift If you just breathe
into your belly for 30 secondsit's a it's a beautiful thing,
and we really do have more powerin our state than than we
(37:31):
realize sometimes.
Mary (37:32):
Yeah, and sometimes I think people think well, I
breathe all the time, How's deepbreathing going to help?
And really all of those things.
They seem simple but they'repowerful in their simplicity.
So there's something I want tosort of rope in, and you
mentioned law of attraction.
First of all, can you definethat a little so we're all kind
(37:54):
of functioning from the sameunderstanding?
And then how do you integratethat into your work?
Julie (38:00):
Yeah, I love law of attraction and the reason is I
was very science minded growingup.
I was a biology major incollege and love science, I love
physics, I love learning aboutresonance and frequency and when
I learned about law ofattraction this all made sense
(38:22):
to me from more of thescientific standpoint.
Now I know sometimes law ofattraction can come off as sort
of a woo-woo, you know like justthrow it out there to the
universe and it'll bounce backto you and you'll end up with
the blue bike on your frontdoorstep.
And that isn't how I see law ofattraction.
I see law of attraction isresonance.
(38:43):
It's really about like thingsthat are at the same resonance
will vibrate and attract eachother.
If a tuning fork at 428 hertzis hit, the other tuning forks
around it will not vibrate, buta tuning fork near it that is
(39:04):
also 428 hertz that's where itresonates will vibrate.
And that's how I see law ofattraction is that like
frequencies will attract andresonate.
Now a really watered down way toput this is let's say, you need
a new accountant and everyonehas an electromagnetic field and
(39:28):
you can feel someone's presenceright.
And so if you met an accountanton the street and they had 20
years experience and did a goodjob.
An intelligent person, but hisshoulders are slumped and he or
she looks bored or disinterestedwhen they're speaking about
their work.
You're not going to be drawn tohiring that person.
(39:52):
If you met someone with evenhalf the experience, that seemed
excited, that seemed like theyown their work, they take
accountability in their work,they're interested, they're
engaged, they are resonatingwith, aligning with this job.
That's what you want.
You would pick the secondaccountant.
So to me, I see it as how areyou putting out your energy
(40:18):
around you If you want thatupgrade at your work, if you
want that promotion?
Are you acting as if youalready have it?
And what I mean by that is areyou showing up to work in the
presence of that next role andembodying that next role?
If you already had that nextrole, how would you walk
(40:41):
differently, how would youengage differently, how would
you do your job differently?
Because it's the people that dothat now that resonate with
that next promotion, thatresonate with that next step.
It's about finding the feelings,finding the emotions and
embodying it, and then you justattract those things that are
(41:05):
resonating at those frequenciesinto your life.
A lot of time.
It is about that letting go andour resistance can hold us back
from things when we're arguingfor our own limitations.
So when we can clean up some ofthat energy and law of
attraction is always happening.
I mean, we are alwaysattracting around us, but if we
(41:30):
can focus and intentionallyattract and embody what we're
looking for, it flows in in amuch easier way.
Now does that mean that wecould lay on our couch and just
feel having a nicer, biggerhouse, and then someone will
call us and jump in and save usand say here's your nicer,
(41:52):
bigger house.
I just felt that you deservedit.
No, it comes in inspired steps.
The universe or God or whoeveryou look, science even it will
come with the next step.
Inspiration will come, inspiredaction to be able to take the
next step, to be able to line upeven further with that thing.
(42:15):
Fun story I wanted to upgradeour living situation During
COVID.
Our house started to feel verysmall.
I still had all three kids inthe house at that point and what
I did was I started to alignwith the feeling of the house
that I wanted and what I foundwas that there were many little
(42:38):
areas of resistance where Imight have sabotaged or even not
recognized if the right thingdid come along.
For instance, when I picturedus in a nicer, larger home, I
pictured everything to beimmaculate.
Well, my family is notimmaculate and there is, you
(42:59):
know, probably a few dishes inour sink right now from when the
kids got their lunches readythis morning, and there are
things that are going to be indisarray.
And when I realized that and Irealized some of the things that
were holding me up from feelinglike it could truly be mine
Again, it's a worthiness game,right?
Only a really clean persondeserves a house like that or is
(43:23):
worthy of a house like that.
And when I realized thatresistance, I was able to
picture myself in a house likethat and practice it.
It was a little uncomfortable.
Right away, I'm going topicture my family in a bigger,
beautiful home.
And, yeah, the throw pillowsare in disarray on the couch and
(43:44):
someone left their sweatshirtover the bar stool and there's
dishes in the sink and I startedto picture it and have so much
fun with this.
And I started to picture it andhave so much fun with this.
And, I kid you not, it waswithin about a week of making
that shift that my neighboracross the street now this one
kind of did, come to me.
I was following the inspiredaction of lining up with it.
(44:07):
But this one came to me.
My neighbor across the streetsaid you know, are you looking
to upsize your house?
I thought I heard you mentionthat six months ago.
And I said, yeah, I actually am.
And he said well, I knowsomeone that's in this
neighborhood so I would love foryou to stay in this
neighborhood.
I have a vested interest.
He was a buddy of mine and hesaid they're moving into a
(44:30):
retirement facility and they'dreally like to know who buys
their house.
And we met them and starteddown the track.
It was everything that I desired, and more.
I absolutely.
It's the house we're in today.
No bidding war, no real estateagents.
It was just a beautifulunfolding.
But I do think I needed toclean up my vibration in order
(44:53):
for that to unfold for me, andthat's what I help my clients do
.
So I hope that answered yourquestion.
Any clarity you need, let meknow.
Mary (45:02):
Well, julie, I really don't think I've heard anyone
explain that quite as eloquentlyand with those types of real
examples as you just did.
It's kind of like the hypnosisthing, because I think we feel
safer when we can kind of focuson things that are real and that
we can see.
And you know, the law ofattraction often is painted as
(45:23):
you're right, this woo-woo thing.
But I love that you talkedabout science, because I am a
plant geek and anybody thatlistens knows that I am a tree
hugger, I'm a nature girl, andplants communicate all the time.
They communicate underground,they communicate with each other
.
There are vibrations ofcommunication all the time.
(45:47):
And when you first startedtalking about law of attraction,
what I thought about is how, sooften, we diminish our own
vibration by what's around us.
So, in other words, you know, Iread somewhere you are the five
people that are closest to you.
So think about the behaviors,the frequency or however you
(46:09):
want to term it, of the fivepeople that you choose to keep
closest to you.
And sometimes that can limit ustoo.
But you've given this greatexample of just someone's stance
or, if they're standing, sortof hunched over, and that's
again why I always say take upyour space.
(46:29):
Stand in mountain pose withyour shoulders back and down.
Send out a vibration into theworld that your heart is open
and you deserve to receive whatyou really want to be fulfilled.
Julie (46:44):
I love that.
I love that so much and Icompletely agree with the five
people closest to you.
One thing I will say is thatwhen people do start to take up
their space you know I workprimarily with women and it's so
exciting to see a woman stepinto more of her worth, right
(47:05):
and and take up her space andown her feelings and that
stepping into that higherfrequency, you know, really
embodying who she is.
What we also notice is that thepeople or the five people
around her will often meet herthere.
You know we can also create adifferent frequency around
(47:29):
ourselves, that often the peoplearound us will meet us in and
flourish with us and they'll beuplifted by our presence and
then it becomes this fun backand forth of higher vibration
and fun and joking or orlightheartedness or whatever.
It feels better, I guess, iswhat I'm trying to say.
(47:50):
So, yeah, sometimes you know,if you notice that, oh, it's
really hard to maintain my spaceand my sense of worth in
certain presences.
Yeah, maybe it's worthevaluating those relationships
and creating new boundaries, butwhen it comes to your own
(48:10):
frequency, you know there arethose individuals around you
that will feed off of that andgo oh, I mean, it's almost like
subconsciously they're saying ohgood, we're feeling lighter now
.
We're having more fun when we'retogether.
Now we're talking about lighterthings.
We're more encouraging, we'remore uplifting, we're talking
nicer about ourselves, and thereare some people that will
(48:31):
resonate and feed off of that.
Sometimes we don't realize whenwe are contributing to the
lower energy until we change it.
Mary (48:39):
Oh, that's so true, and I think when you do have a group
of girlfriends that are allfiring on that higher frequency,
you're unstoppable together.
I think that encouragement ofeach other is really powerful.
Julie (48:55):
Oh, agreed, agreed.
Mary (48:56):
Yes.
Julie (49:02):
Even if there's one person, you know a lot of people
.
If you've been at a certainwavelength for a while and
that's sort of your thermostatis set at a lower temperature
when it comes to happiness andyou've been surrounded by people
like that, if you can eventhink of one person that is a
bit more uplifting to be around,or you enjoy yourself better
when you're around them, investin that relationship, start
there.
(49:22):
If you don't have a whole biggroup, that's okay, but starting
there can help.
You then attract more peoplelike that into your life.
Mary (49:32):
Yeah, and everybody has that amazing high open frequency
.
So I'm guessing there might besome people listening that they
may never have access that andthey may use that to convince
themselves that you know, Ican't fire up there, I can't
fire at that frequency.
We all have that because we'reall nature.
Julie (49:50):
Yes, yes, and you know what?
There's nothing.
I'm sure you feel this in yourwork, I just in my work there's.
There's nothing more excitingthan seeing and hearing a woman
say you know, I just want thisso much but I feel like it
doesn't apply to me.
And me being able to tell her,you know, first of all, everyone
says that, everyone thinks thatI thought that, and then to be
(50:15):
able to see her do the work andcommit to the reprogramming and
in her mind and change, is justone of the most exciting things.
I mean sometimes our latersessions we'll just talk about
all the wins and of course lifewon't be flawless from there
forward.
But how you deal with the ebbsand flows in life changes the
(50:37):
quality of your life.
You know how the filter youtake it through and the
perception you have and how youtalk to yourself through it and
to hear those wins is just sogratifying and so exciting.
And you know that ripple effectlike that quote from my site.
You know it's.
It's not just that womanchanging her family is
(50:58):
benefiting her friends arebenefiting, the world is
benefiting.
Her job is benefiting from herchanging from her up, leveling
her frequency and embodyingherself even more.
Mary (51:12):
Yeah, it's really, really powerful.
So, my gosh, this has been sucha great conversation, like all
these loose threads that I wouldlove to pull on, but we need to
wrap it up so fast.
I know it went.
It went incredibly fast and Ifeel so energized from this
conversation, which is good,because I have clients this
afternoon.
But you mentioned a resourceand I'm going to put that in the
(51:34):
show notes.
Can you say again what that is?
Julie (51:38):
Yeah Well, first of all, you can learn more about me, my
one-on-one sessions, my freeconsults for sessions, on my
website at Julie V coaching B,as in Victor julievcoachingcom.
Also on julievcoaching dot com,there is a free download, a
release the inner criticworkbook.
That is totally complimentary,but it walks through journaling
(52:02):
and visualization, through thesteps of transforming that inner
critic and it's a beautifulworkbook, a great place to start
for changing and up levelingthat inner voice into your inner
support to start for changingand up-leveling that inner voice
into your inner support so cool.
Mary (52:15):
Thank you for offering that and again, I will put links
to both of those things in theshow notes.
And thank you again, Julie, forbeing here.
This has been so, so wonderful.
Julie (52:27):
Oh, thank you for having me, mary.
We are like-minded soul sisters, I feel it, and it's been so,
so fun to chat with you.
Mary (52:35):
And I want to thank all of you for listening.
One of the best things aboutthis podcast to me is the
listeners and the community thatwe're creating.
If you have someone in yourlife that you think would
benefit from the information inthis episode because I know I do
please forward it to them.
And if you love listening,consider joining the Growing
Garden of Violets and supportthe show using the heart button
(52:59):
or the link at the bottom of theshow notes, depending where
you're streaming from.
And until next time, go outinto the world and be the
amazing, resilient, vibrantviolet that you are.
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