Sleep & Anxiety: A Simple Technique to Calm Your Mind (Mini)

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Sleep anxiety can feel like a relentless cycle—you wake in darkness, heart pounding, mind spinning with worries that feel insurmountable at 3 AM. But what if a simple body-focused practice could help break this pattern?

Mary Rothwell shares a powerful technique for those frustrating middle-of-the-night wake-ups when anxiety takes hold. Rather than fighting against racing thoughts directly (which often makes them stronger), she introduces a mindful approach focusing first on physical sensations. By feeling the supportive surface beneath you and imagining warmth slowly traveling up from your feet, you create an anchor that interrupts rumination. This practice works because your brain can't effectively focus on two things simultaneously—when you direct attention to bodily sensations, anxious thoughts begin to recede.

The episode explains how nighttime anxiety connects to our bodies' natural rhythms and hormone fluctuations, particularly melatonin and cortisol. Mary offers practical guidance for releasing tension in common problem areas like the jaw and face, while emphasizing self-compassion through gentle reminders that you're safe and supported. She acknowledges the irrational nature of late-night worries that often seem trivial by daylight, validating this common experience while providing tools to navigate it better. Whether you're dealing with occasional insomnia or chronic sleep struggles, this short but impactful episode delivers a technique you can implement tonight for more peaceful rest. For those wanting deeper sleep support, Mary mentions her comprehensive online program specifically designed for midlife women, available through her website.

Have you tried body-focused techniques to manage sleep anxiety? Leave a review or send Mary a message through the link in the show notes—she'd love to hear which strategies work for you or what sleep topics you'd like covered in future episodes.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:16):
I'm Mary Rothwell and I've seen how often women are
told, subtly or directly, tostay in their lane, to be
agreeable, accommodating and tostay small.
But here's the truth you werenever meant to live inside those
guardrails and I believe weknow who we are and what we want
somewhere inside of us.
It just got covered up by otherpeople's expectations.

(00:38):
So in these short episodes,I'll offer bite-sized
reflections on the themes weexplore in longer episodes Sleep
boundaries, nourishment,relationships, mental health and
, yes, even what we can learnfrom nature.
So, whether you're walking thedog, sipping your morning tea or
taking a quiet moment in yourcar, this is your time to grow

(01:01):
your mind and take up your space.
So today I'm going to talkabout sleep.
Now I could talk to you aboutsleep for hours.
I actually have an entireonline program for women in
midlife about getting bettersleep.
That includes group coaching.
So if you're interested in that, go to my website and it's

(01:24):
maryrothwellnet backslashrestored and check that out.
But this is just a generalsleep tip.
Now this is going to besomething that might take a
little practice, but I usuallytalk about all the things around

(01:45):
sleep, how to prepare for sleepand all of those which I'll
talk about in the future.
But the one thing that's beenon my mind, because I've
struggled with it in the lastweek, and this comes and goes,
and I think it comes and goesfor a lot of people is that
situation where you wake up inthe middle of the night and you
start ruminating, you startthinking, you start worrying

(02:09):
about things that happened, youstart worrying about things that
are going to happen.
It's classic middle of thenight anxiety.
Now, there are a lot of thingsthat contribute to this and,
like I said, I talk about thosethings a lot and I'm sure there
will be many, many episodeswhere I talk about some snippets
of that stuff, because it hasto do with how to actually

(02:30):
regulate our body and ourcortisol, because we're not
meant to have heart-poundingthoughts racing in the middle of
the night, because ourmelatonin should be doing its
job night, because our melatoninshould be doing its job.
So the melatonin is what startsto rise, that hormone, as we
prepare to go to sleep.
So, anywhere, you know, between7 and 10 pm, depending on your

(02:56):
body, depending on the light,but when you have times where
you are feeling like you wake upand you can't stop this
worrying, there are severalthings you can do, but the one
thing I'll focus on today istrying to calm your actual body.

(03:16):
So I would try and I've donebecause I do yoga.
This might be a little biteasier for me.
It does take time.
But you want to lay on your backin a surrender position, so in
yoga that's called corpse poseor shavasana, and I want you to

(03:37):
feel the bed supporting you,because you can't think about
two things at once.
So if you concentrate on thefeel of the bed underneath you
and that it's supporting you,that's a starting point.
You want to try to calm what'shappening in your body.
So, feeling that support of thebed, thinking about warmth,

(04:01):
starting at your feet.
So if you think about sort ofwarm sand, burying your feet or
your toes in warm sand, warmsand and as you let that feeling
wash slowly up your body, youwant to think about the warmth

(04:22):
of it.
It's relaxing, so releasing thetension, and you're going to do
that the whole way up your body, from your feet to your legs,
stomach, your arms, and again,focus on that bed supporting you
and let that come the whole wayup.
Relax your jaw and your face andif you're like me.
I hold a lot of tension atnight in my jaw and in my face.

(04:45):
In fact I have a night guardfor my teeth because I grind my
teeth so badly.
So, trying to calm your body,now you're going to get
distracted, you're going to keep, you know, probably going back
to those ruminations.
But in that moment, being ableto tell yourself you're safe and

(05:08):
supported If your bed is not aplace of safety, that's a whole
other topic.
But if your bed is a place ofsafety, your bedroom is dark and
cool at night that's important.
But trying to calm your bodyand again having those thoughts

(05:29):
of focusing on the warmth,letting yourself relax on the
warmth, letting yourself relax,letting it go and just feeling
supported and feeling safe, andrepeating to yourself that in
that moment you're okay, you'lldeal with it in the morning,
you'll sort it out in themorning.
Because, again, if you're likeme, when I wake up and I get my

(05:52):
day started, it's like why did Iworry so much about those
things?
It is an irrational thoughtprocess.
We can't change the past anymore than we can prevent what
might happen in the future.
But when you are in bed atnight, those are cortisol spikes
that happen and way morecomplex than just saying it's

(06:15):
cortisol spikes, and I will talkabout those types of things
more in the future, but part ofit is rewiring your body.
So you can start with that,with just trying to allow
yourself to let go of thethoughts, focus on your body and
just connect to that supportivesafety of your bed.

(06:37):
So hopefully that little tiphelped.
Thank you for joining me on mymini episode today.
If there's anything that youever want me to talk about, I
would love for you to text me orcomment.
The text link is in the shownotes or you can comment on the
show If you'd like this.
Leave a review for me, you know, and you can even just click

(07:00):
the stars.
You don't have to writeanything If you want a quick way
to just show how you feel aboutno shrinking violets.
And again, thanks for joiningme today and go out into the
world and be the amazing,vibrant violet that you are.