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Have you ever wondered why you fall into the same patterns in relationships? Why you might stay quiet in meetings despite having brilliant ideas? Or why you feel responsible for everyone else's emotions? The answer might lie in your family of origin.
Family systems theory reveals that we all play specific roles within our families that help maintain balance—roles we rarely choose consciously, especially as children. These early positions become deeply embedded in our self-concept and often dictate our behaviors decades later. In this illuminating mini-episode, we explore how visualizing your family as a sculpture can provide powerful insights about your perceived importance and function within your original family system.
If you were the "invisible" family member that nobody seemed to notice, you might continue keeping yourself small in professional settings. If you were responsible for managing family emotions, you might exhaust yourself as a perpetual caretaker in adulthood. These unconscious patterns become self-fulfilling prophecies that limit our potential and happiness. The good news? Once recognized, these patterns can be changed.
Be prepared, though—when you begin stepping out of your assigned role, the system will resist. Family members might push back against your new boundaries or behaviors because systems naturally seek stability. This resistance doesn't mean your growth is wrong; it's simply confirmation you're disrupting long-established patterns.
Take time to reflect on your position in your family sculpture. What role did you play? Which aspects still serve you, and which might you need to release? Understanding your family system becomes the foundation for authentic transformation. You don't need to remain the "small one in the corner" or the "responsible one holding everyone up." You can choose differently now.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
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