November 1, 2024 • 30 mins
Dive into finding that balance between your own ambitions and family life with this Halloween episode of No Wine Left Behind. We're excited to have freelance writer and author Julee Balko joining us. Julee’s story is all about the journey from being a busy mom of three to championing self-care. Her latest book, The Me List, was born from her "aha" moment about prioritizing herself—even when life gets chaotic with kids.
Julee shares how her experiences shape the female characters and complex family dynamics in her work, including a new project with a neurodivergent character inspired by her daughter. We talk about how literature connects us, sparks growth, and lets us dive into real-life challenges. Julee opens up about how her kids’ reactions to her work deepen her view of motherhood, plus how reader feedback has inspired her to try new things herself.
Together, we’ll talk boundaries, self-care, and the ways Julee's “me list” can help you find empowerment and balance, especially for families navigating dysfunction or addiction.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the no Wine Left Behind podcast, where
we truly leave no wine behind.
I'm Alex.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And I'm Celia.
We are here in the studiotogether, sharing ups and downs,
frustrations and funny momentsof our daily adventures.
So grab your favorite glass.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Join us as we raise our voices.
Together, we'll dive into thedrama of life as we see it.
All right, welcome A specialThursday recording edition.
Typically we release on aThursday, but we had to make
some fun things work because wehave a very, very, very special
guest, super excited.
Today's guest is Julie Balgo, afreelance writer, author, mom
(00:41):
of three awesome girls.
Julie's all about bringing inthe real and messy characters to
life, digging into the ups anddowns of relationships.
In her debut novel, the Thingswe Keep, tackled Grief and
Family Secrets and some seriousdysfunction which I can deeply
relate to.
Oh yeah, now her latest book,the Me List, is packed with
(01:04):
humor, heart.
It captured a really relatable,unlikely friendship to me
between two neighbors anddefinitely a lot of laughs
throughout the book.
So, julie, welcome to no OneLeft Behind.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I'm so excited to be here.
And on Halloween, yes,halloween episode.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Yeah, I think it's really really exciting to have
you on, and I just have to knowwhere did the idea of the me
list come from?
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Well, as you said, I'm a mom of three kids, so I
have a lot of lists in my life,like I run the world.
You know, we got dinner list,we got weekend list, homework
list and I realized I don't havea list for myself, Like even
the grocery list.
I don't put anything on it forme.
It's sad and I thought why don'tI have like a list that worries
(01:53):
about maybe my self growth orsomething I want to do?
And that's where the idea forthe me list came from, Because I
think a lot of moms don't putthemselves at the top of their
list.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Right, yeah, absolutely, I can relate to that
.
Yeah, I was just going to say,actually, in the very last
episode that we recorded, Celiahad said something and like what
exactly it was.
It fades me, but it was verymuch like I didn't do something
for myself or I did somethingjust for the kids, and I knew in
the back of my mind we weregoing to have you on this week
and I thought it's just meant tobe.
(02:23):
I knew in the back of my mindwe were going to have you on
this week and I thought justmeant to be.
We all need a me list.
Yes, yes, yeah, oh my gosh, Ilove it.
So why I'm delving into it alittle bit more?
Do you think every woman shouldhave a me list?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Well, you know, I really love like
self-improvement, I love change.
I've always just been enamoredby that, even as a kid.
I would like put up inspiration, like inspirational quotes, and
there's only one you right, andyou can improve yourself, and
for some reason I think that'sreally cool.
So I've always had like kind ofthe self-growth kind of mindset
, which is funny.
(02:59):
Then I had kids and well, thatjust like went out the window.
I was like I was just likesurviving and you know, I'm a
freelance writer by the day andmy kids would work from home
with me.
So it was kind of a lot ofchaos.
And then they started to go toschool and I was like, oh, hey,
you, I remember you, like you'rethis person I know, and I
(03:22):
almost meet myself again and belike what do you want?
You used to play tennis.
Oh, that's fun, maybe youshould play tennis again.
And I just started doingactivities for myself and I
think it's so important becauseit's so easy to lose yourself,
job or just life, and we have tobe reminded, really, of
ourselves really of ourselves.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Yeah, yeah, it's so, so hard, and I resonated a lot
with your character, olivia,even down to her sweatpants.
That is me, I am Olivia, so itwas just very wild to kind of go
through her journey with her.
But you mentioned, on a macrolevel, you know the kids and
having three girls.
So how do you find theirperspectives influence how you
(04:13):
write female characters, or doyou tend to keep those worlds
separate?
Speaker 3 (04:17):
No, I think.
Actually my first book, theThings we Keep the major theme
was love doesn't have to beperfect to still be love,
because all I could think aboutis one day I will be gone, which
is sad.
And if they read this book, Iwant them to know like I tried,
my hardest girls, like I triedand it wasn't perfect, because
we weren't man, it was stilllove and I love them.
So I think in all my themes I'mvery aware that I'm raising
(04:41):
three very strong world girls.
Yeah, yeah.
And the things we keep.
I also made her a scientistbecause all my girls love STEM
and I wanted to give put a jobof a woman that they wanted.
So, they definitely influencedmy writing, and even in my next
book, which is now yet, I have aneurodivergent character
because one of my daughters ison the spectrum and she has the
(05:04):
most brilliant brain and Iwanted a book that celebrated
that and also celebrated themotherhood.
That's a little bit differentthan parenting a child with a
really cool brain.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
That's so exciting.
So take us on this journey.
How do you write a book Like?
How do you write a book?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, write a book.
Like, how do you write a book?
Yeah, I need to know, julie,because I want to write a book.
I've written one page years andyears ago and that's as far as
I got, because I'm not a writer.
But I, my goal, dream, whateveryou want to call it is to write
a book.
It's going to be based on myfamily and growing up in my
(05:43):
culture and it is a wild storylike something you've never,
probably heard ever, but I'malready hooked.
So I'm not a writer, I'm not awriter, so I'm like I need a
ghostwriter, I need, I needsomeone to help give me that
push to get these words on thatpaper.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
So I would say just write and don't think about it.
Like I always say, I write fromthe heart.
It comes out fast, it's uglyyeah, I have to go back and edit
.
But it's like, don't overthinkit.
Like you know what your familyis and you know the story that's
in your heart.
Just let that come out and seewhere it goes.
Okay, You've already written apage.
Yeah, that's how it starts.
(06:24):
You know, like I know I alwayswanted to be an author, but I
never thought I'd write likemany books.
And now I'm on my fourth book.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
And it's like well, how did you get here?
Like right, yeah, I just wantto accomplish one book.
I'll be happy with the one book.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
I think you're a little addicting.
If anything comes after that,hey great, but if I just do the
one, I'll be happy.
I think I made everybody crywith my first book, so I was
like maybe I should make themlaugh, I'll alter emotions,
maybe I can make them mad atsome point.
I don't know oh boy.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I think I think my book would make people cry laugh
.
Uh, I don't know, it would be aroller coaster of emotions.
I think my book would makepeople cry laugh.
I don't know, it would be arollercoaster of emotions, I
think.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
For sure I mean any writer will tell you, as long as
it comes from you, that's allthat matters.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Okay, okay, cool, you can do this Awesome Thank you.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
If it makes you feel better.
I wrote my first book duringnap time, so you can carve out.
I wrote my first book duringnap time, so you can carve out.
I wrote my second book my childplays.
She does fencing, which is likethe sport for people, and I
wrote my second book duringfencing twice a week, so you can
make time, your time.
However, after writing the melist, I was like I need me time
(07:41):
to write books.
I wrote my third book withactual time and it's so much.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
So how long will nap time?
How long did that book take youto write?
Speaker 3 (07:51):
That took a really long time.
So it took six years and youknow I had three kids two that
were turned out to be twins, andthat's just like not
recommended for most people thatwere turned out to be twins,
and that's just like notrecommended for most people.
It was a lot.
(08:11):
So it was also when I missed mymother the most because
suddenly I had two babies and mymom passed away with my first
child and my grief was reallyheavy and nobody else in my like
play group was like, oh, theyall had parents and I had a very
different experience and Ithought I'd either spend like a
lot of money on therapy or Icould write a book and use grief
as kind of a theme, because Ifeel like people don't talk
(08:32):
about it.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
And so many people go through it, right, yeah, I
totally agree.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Okay, yeah, that must be I feel like we can relate on
a lot of different levels.
The three of us, because weboth lost you know parents and
we both raised girls.
I have three girls.
She has two girls.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I want to write a book.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
You've written multiple books.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
I feel like you know Meant to be yes absolutely yeah
for sure, oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
So book writing is so exciting and I'm secretly
hoping Olivia gets a book numbertwo.
But I completely understand.
If you know that's been put torest, I get it.
She was a great character.
What do you think, or who doyou think, your dream cast would
(09:28):
be for these two neighbors ifyour book were to be a movie.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
It's a good question.
I'm terrible with moviesbecause so my kids are 12, our
twins that are 12 and a 15 yearold, so I watch what they watch.
We're like really intoHeartstoppers, like that's where
we are right now.
I don't know who it would be,though, would I actually do
think it would be great a greattv show or movie, because, um,
(09:51):
the two women characters are sodynamic and sometimes funny and
sometimes sad, and they gothrough so much and I think
people identify with eitherbeing.
Some people are in olivia.
Yeah, some people are britriciaand there's people, um, so I
don't know.
I guess I'll put the questionback to you, because you're
probably more versed.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Oh my gosh, so tricky .
Who would olivia be?
I would imagine olivia is maybe, um, I feel like an anna
kendrick could be a good Olivia.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Oh, I love Anna Kendrick.
Yes, I love her.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yes, patricia, ooh, patricia has sass.
She would have to be someonethat could really pull off that
edgy.
Oh, I'm not sure who Patriciacould be.
Yeah, just a little, have tothink about this yeah yeah
that's a.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
That's a big character to be you know, I
think it's a creative direction.
I'm just like, and then the dogwould be adorable to cast.
Uh, oh my god marvin.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
His name is marvin.
There was a dog.
You had me, like I just.
I thought that was such a sweetaddition also.
So, in terms of your maincharacters, you do have the
Marvins of the books.
What other non-main charactersreally stick out to you, and
where did those kind of ideasfor those characters come from?
Speaker 3 (11:18):
In the me list especially, I always think about
my side characters and eitherrepresentation or just
interesting characters that Icould put in.
And she has a friend named Dayaand Daya means light and I've
had a few readers ask me likewhy Daya and I've had a few
friends and I wanted torepresent them and have this
beautiful moment of friendship.
(11:38):
That was easier and more funand that's where that came from.
And then the dog my kids and Ihave fostered lots of animals
and it's a lot of fun and Ithought how wonderful.
Let me put it in the book Okay,I love it.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah, so, in addition to fostering dogs, I think I
might have heard that you alsohave an axolotl.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
I do have an axolotl that is so crazy.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I have only seen them on TikTok I don't know what
that is.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
Oh my gosh, they're so cute.
It's a salamander that stays inthe space.
They have feet and legs.
Okay, if his tank was a littlecleaner, I'd show you.
I want to judge me.
So when we moved here it waskind of a traumatic move.
We moved from North Carolina toWashington and my kids were
like we need another pet, whichthey always say.
(12:30):
And they had this idea for theaxolotl and of course I said no.
And then they came with a30-page PowerPoint of why
axolotls are really easy andthey powerpoint of why axolotls
are really easy and they sold me.
I got a.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
you know, they really sold me on it and he is so easy
and I love him and that wasgonna be my follow-up question
is for me it was about the water.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
I don't know why that stressed me out, but he uses
tap water and they normally livein like muddy, like streams or
ponds that is so funky.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
I don't know anyone that's ever had one.
I only see them on TikTok.
When I heard that, I thoughtthat is so unique and so cool.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Yes, our cats like to watch them.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
That's fun.
Is PowerPointing the new way toget parents to do what kids
want?
Because I had a similarexperience.
We've been back and forth aboutmoving to South Carolina
Surfside Beach, and we vacationthere every year.
We absolutely love it and mykids created a PowerPoint
(13:39):
telling me why we should move toSouth Carolina and it was it
was.
They made a lot of good points.
They brought up the schoolsystem, everything they did
their due diligence.
Oh yeah, it was wild.
So I'm like, and then you justsaid your kids made a PowerPoint
to get this pet.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
So I'm like, wait, is this what kids do now?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Convince their parents to like do what they
want.
I mean not for nothing.
At least they're putting in theeffort to make the powerpoint.
It goes to show you.
It's something they really,really desire.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Yeah, I think they do them in school and they think
they're like cool and fun.
I personally don't have thesame feelings about powerpoint,
but yeah yeah, they're not myfavorite thing.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
I know they could be so complicated, but mine are so
basic.
Oh it's hard, yeah, yeah, Idefinitely get a little bit
overwhelmed just thinking of allthe things I can do with it,
and then I don't end up doinganything.
Julie, do your kids ever readthe books that you write?
Speaker 3 (14:44):
so for the first book , because it was really serious,
I read them, parts um.
And for the second book, mydaughter actually listened to
the audio book, which I onlylistened to like the first
chapter and then the lastchapter, because it's really
just weird to hear your ownwriting like I don't know.
It weirded me out.
But I happened to walk in onwhile she was listening to the
last chapter and I just kind oflike was spying on her because
(15:06):
I'm cool like that and I wasreally fun to watch her like
just come to the moment.
And then she saw me and we likehugged and talked about it, so
that was pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
I read it because we're different types of readers
?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Yeah, because we're different types of readers.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
And then my next book , I don't know.
There's a few spicy scenes, soa whole other like can of
therapy for them.
So but I did talk to them a lotabout it.
So I actually interviewed allthree of them to try to get the
daughter's brain kind of right,Cause they all have amazing
brains that sees kind of theworld very differently.
(15:41):
So that was really cool andthey were very open about things
that were maybe tough for themor how they explain stuff
differently.
So I feel like I was able tocapture that really well.
So I'll probably read themparts of that character.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Yeah, that's so cool.
You have three in-home usecases.
That's amazing and I love ittoo.
Like what a unique way to bondwith your mom or you with your
daughter.
Oh, you have three in-home usecases.
That's amazing and I love ittoo.
Like what a unique way to bondwith your mom or you with your
daughters is over a book and ormultiple books at this point,
and knowing that they're a partof it and you're making them a
part of it.
That's just such a sweetexperience.
I just love this so much.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Yeah, they're very supportive and they actually
they'll know when I'm like outand about and sometimes I get
out my notes on my phone becauseI'm like seeing somebody that
I'm like I want to write thatdown and I'm like, oh, mom's
writing down something, it'sgoing to be great.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Aside from your children.
Who else do you pull kind ofadvice from or ideas from, from
your inner circle or even, youknow, extending beyond into your
community?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Yeah, I'm very lucky in that I have some author
friends, and that's kind of whathappens in this journey.
Like you start off and you'rejust like, wow, this is how do
you write a book.
Right, you start to researchand you meet other authors and
I'm really lucky in that they'vebeen supportive, because it
isn't an easy process.
The writing is super fun, butthen you have to query and try
(17:11):
to get a publisher or try to getan agent, which that's what I'm
doing right now and that partis soul destroying, I can
imagine.
So you have to stay prettyconfident and excited and you
really just need other people tohelp you to be like it sucks.
Keep going like you can do it.
So I'm lucky that I have a fewamazing author friends.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
That's awesome.
Yeah, I feel like this journeyfor you has been very organic,
so it's so cool to hear thegrowth, even though we're coming
into this you know book threeit's really exciting to hear all
that you go through in writinga book.
This is so cool.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Lots of reader stuff is really fun, like when I've
had, especially with the me list.
There's actually a part in theback where you can write your
own me list, so I've had readerswrite me and tell me what's on
their me list and sometimesthey've sent me videos and I'm
like crying because people havemade like huge life changes.
Wow, people have just decidedto try yoga, which good for them
.
I have pants but I don't doyoga back, and it's really cool
(18:15):
to think that a book that makespeople laugh and whatever also
gets them to like make a changeor, you know, go through a
divorce or like toughtransitions, and yet inspired by
this book.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
So that's pretty cool has anyone else's me list
influenced in addition to yourme list?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
huh, let me think about that well, I mean yes,
because so many of the peoplethat wrote me were doing like
amazing exercising things.
When my daughter actually askedme to start running this summer
and I hate running like yeah,you got bears here and I don't
think, I think I would just belike you got me.
(18:53):
Like, let me just say, becauseI've been so inspired by so many
people that have tried newactivities, I was like, let's do
it couch to 5k.
I've got stickers and um I hateit.
She doesn't, okay, I hate.
I still hate it.
We went this week, but sheloved it and how cool is that?
And I don't think I would havebeen as like let's do it, let's
do something different, and likeit'll be great.
(19:16):
Um, so yeah, thank you readers.
I'm now running.
I'm not tired enough.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Oh, my goodness, celia, if you had to create a me
list, what is something or somethings that would be on your me
list?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
More, golf, more travel, write the books, more
massages.
Writing a book, writing thebook.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
While getting massages.
Writing a book, writing thebook while getting massages.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Exactly I.
I I had a most of my life.
I was a young mom and my focuswas always my children and
everything.
They came first, no matter whatit was, it was always them.
I was always in the backseat.
As I got older, my kids gotolder, I started to do exactly
what you're talking about maketime for me and I started to do
things and venture outside mycomfort zone and face things
(20:15):
that I've been avoiding for manyyears and deal with.
You know, dysfunctional familystuff and so on and so forth.
I took up golfing, which youknow I never thought I'd be a
golfer, but now I absolutelylove it.
I wish I could do it every day.
So hence, moving to SouthCarolina, I was going to say I
(20:39):
think we have to do that Allcoming together to South
Carolina, all coming together.
But I spent a few years.
I still kind of put myself inthe rear view more than I should
.
But I do make some time formyself now.
But now I have my grandson.
So right when I was ready tolike say you know what, celia,
you come first, you're doingyour thing 's it my baby came
(21:03):
along, my grandson, who is likemy everything.
So now I put myself in the backseat again and he comes first.
I still make a little time formyself, but I knew I need to go
back to that me list and add afew more things and actually
like follow through and do it.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
I know it's important .
Yeah, you should tell yourdaughter when you're watching
your grandson, like that's thetime she should be focusing on
herself, because nobody told methat.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Yes, you know, got exhausted, but like, how
empowering to be like hey, takesome time for you, like yeah,
that's it, and I I take themevery chance I get because you
know he's a handful sometimesand I want her to have that
break.
So you know I forfeit my breakso she can have her break.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Yeah, I feel like it all works out in the long run
and she does take breaks.
Whenever I hear that Celia'sbabysitting, I'll call her, I'll
text her and I'm like, hey,what are you doing?
And she's like nothing, I'mdoing nothing.
Do not tempt me to do anythingbecause I'm doing nothing.
I'm cleaning.
I'm resting and.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
I'm like oh, okay.
I love that for you?
Yeah, but yeah, I definitelyfeel like you know.
People need to take more timefor themselves and dedicate more
me time.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
that's what I call me time it is, and you know, I
think our generation, like we,do so much more, yeah, like
there's no breaks, um, unless wetake them.
And I start to think about whatam I teaching my kids?
My kids, like this balance,which is so not balanced, is
good because it's not takingtime, and I'll actually make a
(22:44):
big deal of it.
Be like I'm going to take likean hour.
You guys are going to go here,it's out there because I'm going
to work on my book and do this,and it's time, and like I want
them to know like that's good,like right.
So you need to take time foryourself and do what you want to
do.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
You.
No, it's important, I agreewith that, for sure, for sure.
Especially when you get older,life gets busier, more things
are happening and you, just youneed to have that balance, and
it's hard sometimes.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
And all of these, things are just happening so
quickly.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
So yeah, just the thought of this book immediately
I was like what a great idea.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
And then, after reading it, I was like so moved,
like such a great should.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yeah, it was amazing so great and even the?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
um, aside from the relationship of olivia and
patricia, was the relationshipof olivia and her mom um and her
feelings of abandonment and allof the complications and
emotions that came with thatalso resonated very deeply with
me.
Um.
So, yeah, I felt like this wasa very I don't know if intricate
or complex book.
Uh, yeah, it was the right term, but there was just so much to
(24:10):
it, um, and I just thought thisis yeah, it was just great, yeah
yeah, great job julie I thinkmother characters are always
tough and I've had two books ina row with tough mother
characters not intentional.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
But addiction is another thing a lot of people
don't talk about.
So I guess in any single one ofmy books I try to put like the
topics that I feel like need tocome to light but people don't
talk enough about.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
So, yeah, 100%, and I feel like you wrote it with
with such care.
Also, no-transcript book werewere very special to me.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
That makes me happy, because I do think one of the
other things that people don'tdo often is it's really hard to
know when when boundaries arethe right choice.
Yeah, boundaries and saying noon a relationship is self care.
Yes, so that was.
Another thing I wanted to listwas something she couldn't cross
off in the way she thought shecould but that was the right
(25:29):
choice for her.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Absolutely toxic family members are everywhere
hey, they're a doozy, that's forsure.
Talk about dysfunction junctionyou'll find a little
dysfunction in all my books butagain, these are things that her
(25:57):
and I have dealt with in ourfamily.
And yeah, so it's, you know,very relatable.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yeah, yeah, such a great way to kind of intertwine
all of the themes of the bookand what you were trying to
convey.
It was just, it was so good,yeah, perfect ending, perfect
All the things.
And, like I said earlier, Iloved it and I wanted more of
Olivia and I'm like, well, whatis she gonna do now and what
comes next?
And Like, okay, fine, let's saywe don't get a second book,
like, where is Olivia today?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Julie, what is?
Speaker 1 (26:28):
she doing?
Speaker 3 (26:29):
I hope she's doing really well and she's a realtor,
so she's making her own money,Right.
Okay, I hope she's stillvisiting Patricia.
I thought that was pretty cool.
I don't want to get manyspoilers away, but I think she's
a lot more secure with herselfbecause I think that was the
transition it was seeing herselfremembering who she was, but
(26:50):
also figuring out who she wantedto be.
So I think she's doing prettygreat.
I don't know if she's stillgoing to book club.
It's okay.
It's a hard new boundary andthat's okay.
A real boundary, and that'sokay.
And I I loved writing the bookclub scene.
My um town book club chose mybook, so I had to be like I
wrote this years ago before Imet any of you.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Don't worry, I have a question for you when you go to
book club.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
do you actually read the book or do you sit and drink
wine and talk about reading thebook?
I definitely drink wine.
I get nicer, you know.
I get more interesting.
No, sometimes every book club'sdifferent.
Usually I come with questionsin case there's like that
awkward like oh, I thought youwere going to have questions,
and usually they ask lots ofquestions and it just happens
normally where someone might say, oh, I have a me list, and then
(27:44):
I'm like, ooh, let's, let'shear this.
So I've had that, where peoplejust start off by sharing their
me list.
Sometimes they ask me to read apart in the book which you know
I try to pretend they're likemy kids and I read to them,
otherwise I get nervous.
Wine helps, so that's good.
It usually is just a great,great discussion and, um, so
many of them do share their melist and they're nice.
(28:06):
I can't tell you how many timesI've left a book club crying
because of something on their melist.
Um, I had the most fabulous one, where someone shared like a
secret that she hadn't toldanybody.
Like it was a friend book club,they were like friends for like
30 years and she had beensecretly taking a hip-hop class.
Oh wow, because this woman waslike the most precious, amazing
(28:30):
woman, very shy and like shetook a while, but everybody had
shared these amazing personal melists so she felt like she
should share hers and I just waslike I did not see it coming
and I was so excited like she's60 years old, taking hip-hop for
the first time.
She was tired of being shy andshe read the book and that was
(28:50):
like I think it's my favoritebook.
Wow, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
It was a good night.
Very cool, very, very cool.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I love it oh gosh, julie, it has been so fun
speaking with you, getting tohear my first ever kind of like
behind the scenes of a book.
Yeah, speaking with the authorof a book that I've read like
this has been so exciting.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Very cool.
Yeah, Celia, reach out whenyou're at your next meeting.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
All right, perfect Thank you, I will take you up on
that.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Yeah, please tell our listeners where they can find
you, what you have coming upnext, anything that you'd like
to plug before we let you go?
Good idea.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
So the me list and the things we keep are available
on Amazon and Barnes andNoblecom.
You can find me on every socialbecause we have to be in.
So to my kids, but check me out.
And I also have a website,Julie J U L E E, embarrassing to
my kids, but hey, check me out.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
And I also have a website, Julie J-U-L-E-E
Valcocom.
Love it, Julie.
Thank you again.
Happy Halloween, Enjoy it withthe girls.
Tell them we said hello.
I feel like we kept this veryPG so they can listen, they can
watch this episode.
We only have one minute in therub, like twice.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
I think we're going to do it.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Awesome, julie.
Thank you again for joining us.
Bye, bye.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Thank you for joining us on this wine-filled
adventure.
We would greatly appreciateyour support.
Please follow and rate ourpodcast on apple podcast,
spotify or wherever you'retuning in right now.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
So raise a glass, leave no wine behind and let's
continue this journey together.
Cheers.
Welcome to the no Wine Left Behind podcast, where
we truly leave no wine behind.
I'm Alex.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And I'm Celia.
We are here in the studiotogether, sharing ups and downs,
frustrations and funny momentsof our daily adventures.
So grab your favorite glass.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Join us as we raise our voices.
Together, we'll dive into thedrama of life as we see it.
All right, welcome A specialThursday recording edition.
Typically we release on aThursday, but we had to make
some fun things work because wehave a very, very, very special
guest, super excited.
Today's guest is Julie Balgo, afreelance writer, author, mom
(00:41):
of three awesome girls.
Julie's all about bringing inthe real and messy characters to
life, digging into the ups anddowns of relationships.
In her debut novel, the Thingswe Keep, tackled Grief and
Family Secrets and some seriousdysfunction which I can deeply
relate to.
Oh yeah, now her latest book,the Me List, is packed with
(01:04):
humor, heart.
It captured a really relatable,unlikely friendship to me
between two neighbors anddefinitely a lot of laughs
throughout the book.
So, julie, welcome to no OneLeft Behind.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I'm so excited to be here.
And on Halloween, yes,halloween episode.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Yeah, I think it's really really exciting to have
you on, and I just have to knowwhere did the idea of the me
list come from?
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Well, as you said, I'm a mom of three kids, so I
have a lot of lists in my life,like I run the world.
You know, we got dinner list,we got weekend list, homework
list and I realized I don't havea list for myself, Like even
the grocery list.
I don't put anything on it forme.
It's sad and I thought why don'tI have like a list that worries
(01:53):
about maybe my self growth orsomething I want to do?
And that's where the idea forthe me list came from, Because I
think a lot of moms don't putthemselves at the top of their
list.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Right, yeah, absolutely, I can relate to that
.
Yeah, I was just going to say,actually, in the very last
episode that we recorded, Celiahad said something and like what
exactly it was.
It fades me, but it was verymuch like I didn't do something
for myself or I did somethingjust for the kids, and I knew in
the back of my mind we weregoing to have you on this week
and I thought it's just meant tobe.
(02:23):
I knew in the back of my mindwe were going to have you on
this week and I thought justmeant to be.
We all need a me list.
Yes, yes, yeah, oh my gosh, Ilove it.
So why I'm delving into it alittle bit more?
Do you think every woman shouldhave a me list?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Well, you know, I really love like
self-improvement, I love change.
I've always just been enamoredby that, even as a kid.
I would like put up inspiration, like inspirational quotes, and
there's only one you right, andyou can improve yourself, and
for some reason I think that'sreally cool.
So I've always had like kind ofthe self-growth kind of mindset
, which is funny.
(02:59):
Then I had kids and well, thatjust like went out the window.
I was like I was just likesurviving and you know, I'm a
freelance writer by the day andmy kids would work from home
with me.
So it was kind of a lot ofchaos.
And then they started to go toschool and I was like, oh, hey,
you, I remember you, like you'rethis person I know, and I
(03:22):
almost meet myself again and belike what do you want?
You used to play tennis.
Oh, that's fun, maybe youshould play tennis again.
And I just started doingactivities for myself and I
think it's so important becauseit's so easy to lose yourself,
job or just life, and we have tobe reminded, really, of
ourselves really of ourselves.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Yeah, yeah, it's so, so hard, and I resonated a lot
with your character, olivia,even down to her sweatpants.
That is me, I am Olivia, so itwas just very wild to kind of go
through her journey with her.
But you mentioned, on a macrolevel, you know the kids and
having three girls.
So how do you find theirperspectives influence how you
(04:13):
write female characters, or doyou tend to keep those worlds
separate?
Speaker 3 (04:17):
No, I think.
Actually my first book, theThings we Keep the major theme
was love doesn't have to beperfect to still be love,
because all I could think aboutis one day I will be gone, which
is sad.
And if they read this book, Iwant them to know like I tried,
my hardest girls, like I triedand it wasn't perfect, because
we weren't man, it was stilllove and I love them.
So I think in all my themes I'mvery aware that I'm raising
(04:41):
three very strong world girls.
Yeah, yeah.
And the things we keep.
I also made her a scientistbecause all my girls love STEM
and I wanted to give put a jobof a woman that they wanted.
So, they definitely influencedmy writing, and even in my next
book, which is now yet, I have aneurodivergent character
because one of my daughters ison the spectrum and she has the
(05:04):
most brilliant brain and Iwanted a book that celebrated
that and also celebrated themotherhood.
That's a little bit differentthan parenting a child with a
really cool brain.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
That's so exciting.
So take us on this journey.
How do you write a book Like?
How do you write a book?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, write a book.
Like, how do you write a book?
Yeah, I need to know, julie,because I want to write a book.
I've written one page years andyears ago and that's as far as
I got, because I'm not a writer.
But I, my goal, dream, whateveryou want to call it is to write
a book.
It's going to be based on myfamily and growing up in my
(05:43):
culture and it is a wild storylike something you've never,
probably heard ever, but I'malready hooked.
So I'm not a writer, I'm not awriter, so I'm like I need a
ghostwriter, I need, I needsomeone to help give me that
push to get these words on thatpaper.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
So I would say just write and don't think about it.
Like I always say, I write fromthe heart.
It comes out fast, it's uglyyeah, I have to go back and edit
.
But it's like, don't overthinkit.
Like you know what your familyis and you know the story that's
in your heart.
Just let that come out and seewhere it goes.
Okay, You've already written apage.
Yeah, that's how it starts.
(06:24):
You know, like I know I alwayswanted to be an author, but I
never thought I'd write likemany books.
And now I'm on my fourth book.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
And it's like well, how did you get here?
Like right, yeah, I just wantto accomplish one book.
I'll be happy with the one book.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
I think you're a little addicting.
If anything comes after that,hey great, but if I just do the
one, I'll be happy.
I think I made everybody crywith my first book, so I was
like maybe I should make themlaugh, I'll alter emotions,
maybe I can make them mad atsome point.
I don't know oh boy.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I think I think my book would make people cry laugh
.
Uh, I don't know, it would be aroller coaster of emotions.
I think my book would makepeople cry laugh.
I don't know, it would be arollercoaster of emotions, I
think.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
For sure I mean any writer will tell you, as long as
it comes from you, that's allthat matters.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Okay, okay, cool, you can do this Awesome Thank you.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
If it makes you feel better.
I wrote my first book duringnap time, so you can carve out.
I wrote my first book duringnap time, so you can carve out.
I wrote my second book my childplays.
She does fencing, which is likethe sport for people, and I
wrote my second book duringfencing twice a week, so you can
make time, your time.
However, after writing the melist, I was like I need me time
(07:41):
to write books.
I wrote my third book withactual time and it's so much.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
So how long will nap time?
How long did that book take youto write?
Speaker 3 (07:51):
That took a really long time.
So it took six years and youknow I had three kids two that
were turned out to be twins, andthat's just like not
recommended for most people thatwere turned out to be twins,
and that's just like notrecommended for most people.
It was a lot.
(08:11):
So it was also when I missed mymother the most because
suddenly I had two babies and mymom passed away with my first
child and my grief was reallyheavy and nobody else in my like
play group was like, oh, theyall had parents and I had a very
different experience and Ithought I'd either spend like a
lot of money on therapy or Icould write a book and use grief
as kind of a theme, because Ifeel like people don't talk
(08:32):
about it.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
And so many people go through it, right, yeah, I
totally agree.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Okay, yeah, that must be I feel like we can relate on
a lot of different levels.
The three of us, because weboth lost you know parents and
we both raised girls.
I have three girls.
She has two girls.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I want to write a book.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
You've written multiple books.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
I feel like you know Meant to be yes absolutely yeah
for sure, oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
So book writing is so exciting and I'm secretly
hoping Olivia gets a book numbertwo.
But I completely understand.
If you know that's been put torest, I get it.
She was a great character.
What do you think, or who doyou think, your dream cast would
(09:28):
be for these two neighbors ifyour book were to be a movie.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
It's a good question.
I'm terrible with moviesbecause so my kids are 12, our
twins that are 12 and a 15 yearold, so I watch what they watch.
We're like really intoHeartstoppers, like that's where
we are right now.
I don't know who it would be,though, would I actually do
think it would be great a greattv show or movie, because, um,
(09:51):
the two women characters are sodynamic and sometimes funny and
sometimes sad, and they gothrough so much and I think
people identify with eitherbeing.
Some people are in olivia.
Yeah, some people are britriciaand there's people, um, so I
don't know.
I guess I'll put the questionback to you, because you're
probably more versed.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Oh my gosh, so tricky .
Who would olivia be?
I would imagine olivia is maybe, um, I feel like an anna
kendrick could be a good Olivia.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Oh, I love Anna Kendrick.
Yes, I love her.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yes, patricia, ooh, patricia has sass.
She would have to be someonethat could really pull off that
edgy.
Oh, I'm not sure who Patriciacould be.
Yeah, just a little, have tothink about this yeah yeah
that's a.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
That's a big character to be you know, I
think it's a creative direction.
I'm just like, and then the dogwould be adorable to cast.
Uh, oh my god marvin.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
His name is marvin.
There was a dog.
You had me, like I just.
I thought that was such a sweetaddition also.
So, in terms of your maincharacters, you do have the
Marvins of the books.
What other non-main charactersreally stick out to you, and
where did those kind of ideasfor those characters come from?
Speaker 3 (11:18):
In the me list especially, I always think about
my side characters and eitherrepresentation or just
interesting characters that Icould put in.
And she has a friend named Dayaand Daya means light and I've
had a few readers ask me likewhy Daya and I've had a few
friends and I wanted torepresent them and have this
beautiful moment of friendship.
(11:38):
That was easier and more funand that's where that came from.
And then the dog my kids and Ihave fostered lots of animals
and it's a lot of fun and Ithought how wonderful.
Let me put it in the book Okay,I love it.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah, so, in addition to fostering dogs, I think I
might have heard that you alsohave an axolotl.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
I do have an axolotl that is so crazy.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I have only seen them on TikTok I don't know what
that is.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
Oh my gosh, they're so cute.
It's a salamander that stays inthe space.
They have feet and legs.
Okay, if his tank was a littlecleaner, I'd show you.
I want to judge me.
So when we moved here it waskind of a traumatic move.
We moved from North Carolina toWashington and my kids were
like we need another pet, whichthey always say.
(12:30):
And they had this idea for theaxolotl and of course I said no.
And then they came with a30-page PowerPoint of why
axolotls are really easy andthey powerpoint of why axolotls
are really easy and they sold me.
I got a.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
you know, they really sold me on it and he is so easy
and I love him and that wasgonna be my follow-up question
is for me it was about the water.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
I don't know why that stressed me out, but he uses
tap water and they normally livein like muddy, like streams or
ponds that is so funky.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
I don't know anyone that's ever had one.
I only see them on TikTok.
When I heard that, I thoughtthat is so unique and so cool.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Yes, our cats like to watch them.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
That's fun.
Is PowerPointing the new way toget parents to do what kids
want?
Because I had a similarexperience.
We've been back and forth aboutmoving to South Carolina
Surfside Beach, and we vacationthere every year.
We absolutely love it and mykids created a PowerPoint
(13:39):
telling me why we should move toSouth Carolina and it was it
was.
They made a lot of good points.
They brought up the schoolsystem, everything they did
their due diligence.
Oh yeah, it was wild.
So I'm like, and then you justsaid your kids made a PowerPoint
to get this pet.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
So I'm like, wait, is this what kids do now?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Convince their parents to like do what they
want.
I mean not for nothing.
At least they're putting in theeffort to make the powerpoint.
It goes to show you.
It's something they really,really desire.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Yeah, I think they do them in school and they think
they're like cool and fun.
I personally don't have thesame feelings about powerpoint,
but yeah yeah, they're not myfavorite thing.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
I know they could be so complicated, but mine are so
basic.
Oh it's hard, yeah, yeah, Idefinitely get a little bit
overwhelmed just thinking of allthe things I can do with it,
and then I don't end up doinganything.
Julie, do your kids ever readthe books that you write?
Speaker 3 (14:44):
so for the first book , because it was really serious,
I read them, parts um.
And for the second book, mydaughter actually listened to
the audio book, which I onlylistened to like the first
chapter and then the lastchapter, because it's really
just weird to hear your ownwriting like I don't know.
It weirded me out.
But I happened to walk in onwhile she was listening to the
last chapter and I just kind oflike was spying on her because
(15:06):
I'm cool like that and I wasreally fun to watch her like
just come to the moment.
And then she saw me and we likehugged and talked about it, so
that was pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
I read it because we're different types of readers
?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Yeah, because we're different types of readers.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
And then my next book , I don't know.
There's a few spicy scenes, soa whole other like can of
therapy for them.
So but I did talk to them a lotabout it.
So I actually interviewed allthree of them to try to get the
daughter's brain kind of right,Cause they all have amazing
brains that sees kind of theworld very differently.
(15:41):
So that was really cool andthey were very open about things
that were maybe tough for themor how they explain stuff
differently.
So I feel like I was able tocapture that really well.
So I'll probably read themparts of that character.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Yeah, that's so cool.
You have three in-home usecases.
That's amazing and I love ittoo.
Like what a unique way to bondwith your mom or you with your
daughter.
Oh, you have three in-home usecases.
That's amazing and I love ittoo.
Like what a unique way to bondwith your mom or you with your
daughters is over a book and ormultiple books at this point,
and knowing that they're a partof it and you're making them a
part of it.
That's just such a sweetexperience.
I just love this so much.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Yeah, they're very supportive and they actually
they'll know when I'm like outand about and sometimes I get
out my notes on my phone becauseI'm like seeing somebody that
I'm like I want to write thatdown and I'm like, oh, mom's
writing down something, it'sgoing to be great.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Aside from your children.
Who else do you pull kind ofadvice from or ideas from, from
your inner circle or even, youknow, extending beyond into your
community?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Yeah, I'm very lucky in that I have some author
friends, and that's kind of whathappens in this journey.
Like you start off and you'rejust like, wow, this is how do
you write a book.
Right, you start to researchand you meet other authors and
I'm really lucky in that they'vebeen supportive, because it
isn't an easy process.
The writing is super fun, butthen you have to query and try
(17:11):
to get a publisher or try to getan agent, which that's what I'm
doing right now and that partis soul destroying, I can
imagine.
So you have to stay prettyconfident and excited and you
really just need other people tohelp you to be like it sucks.
Keep going like you can do it.
So I'm lucky that I have a fewamazing author friends.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
That's awesome.
Yeah, I feel like this journeyfor you has been very organic,
so it's so cool to hear thegrowth, even though we're coming
into this you know book threeit's really exciting to hear all
that you go through in writinga book.
This is so cool.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Lots of reader stuff is really fun, like when I've
had, especially with the me list.
There's actually a part in theback where you can write your
own me list, so I've had readerswrite me and tell me what's on
their me list and sometimesthey've sent me videos and I'm
like crying because people havemade like huge life changes.
Wow, people have just decidedto try yoga, which good for them
.
I have pants but I don't doyoga back, and it's really cool
(18:15):
to think that a book that makespeople laugh and whatever also
gets them to like make a changeor, you know, go through a
divorce or like toughtransitions, and yet inspired by
this book.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
So that's pretty cool has anyone else's me list
influenced in addition to yourme list?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
huh, let me think about that well, I mean yes,
because so many of the peoplethat wrote me were doing like
amazing exercising things.
When my daughter actually askedme to start running this summer
and I hate running like yeah,you got bears here and I don't
think, I think I would just belike you got me.
(18:53):
Like, let me just say, becauseI've been so inspired by so many
people that have tried newactivities, I was like, let's do
it couch to 5k.
I've got stickers and um I hateit.
She doesn't, okay, I hate.
I still hate it.
We went this week, but sheloved it and how cool is that?
And I don't think I would havebeen as like let's do it, let's
do something different, and likeit'll be great.
(19:16):
Um, so yeah, thank you readers.
I'm now running.
I'm not tired enough.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Oh, my goodness, celia, if you had to create a me
list, what is something or somethings that would be on your me
list?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
More, golf, more travel, write the books, more
massages.
Writing a book, writing thebook.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
While getting massages.
Writing a book, writing thebook while getting massages.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Exactly I.
I I had a most of my life.
I was a young mom and my focuswas always my children and
everything.
They came first, no matter whatit was, it was always them.
I was always in the backseat.
As I got older, my kids gotolder, I started to do exactly
what you're talking about maketime for me and I started to do
things and venture outside mycomfort zone and face things
(20:15):
that I've been avoiding for manyyears and deal with.
You know, dysfunctional familystuff and so on and so forth.
I took up golfing, which youknow I never thought I'd be a
golfer, but now I absolutelylove it.
I wish I could do it every day.
So hence, moving to SouthCarolina, I was going to say I
(20:39):
think we have to do that Allcoming together to South
Carolina, all coming together.
But I spent a few years.
I still kind of put myself inthe rear view more than I should
.
But I do make some time formyself now.
But now I have my grandson.
So right when I was ready tolike say you know what, celia,
you come first, you're doingyour thing 's it my baby came
(21:03):
along, my grandson, who is likemy everything.
So now I put myself in the backseat again and he comes first.
I still make a little time formyself, but I knew I need to go
back to that me list and add afew more things and actually
like follow through and do it.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
I know it's important .
Yeah, you should tell yourdaughter when you're watching
your grandson, like that's thetime she should be focusing on
herself, because nobody told methat.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Yes, you know, got exhausted, but like, how
empowering to be like hey, takesome time for you, like yeah,
that's it, and I I take themevery chance I get because you
know he's a handful sometimesand I want her to have that
break.
So you know I forfeit my breakso she can have her break.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Yeah, I feel like it all works out in the long run
and she does take breaks.
Whenever I hear that Celia'sbabysitting, I'll call her, I'll
text her and I'm like, hey,what are you doing?
And she's like nothing, I'mdoing nothing.
Do not tempt me to do anythingbecause I'm doing nothing.
I'm cleaning.
I'm resting and.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
I'm like oh, okay.
I love that for you?
Yeah, but yeah, I definitelyfeel like you know.
People need to take more timefor themselves and dedicate more
me time.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
that's what I call me time it is, and you know, I
think our generation, like we,do so much more, yeah, like
there's no breaks, um, unless wetake them.
And I start to think about whatam I teaching my kids?
My kids, like this balance,which is so not balanced, is
good because it's not takingtime, and I'll actually make a
(22:44):
big deal of it.
Be like I'm going to take likean hour.
You guys are going to go here,it's out there because I'm going
to work on my book and do this,and it's time, and like I want
them to know like that's good,like right.
So you need to take time foryourself and do what you want to
do.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
You.
No, it's important, I agreewith that, for sure, for sure.
Especially when you get older,life gets busier, more things
are happening and you, just youneed to have that balance, and
it's hard sometimes.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
And all of these, things are just happening so
quickly.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
So yeah, just the thought of this book immediately
I was like what a great idea.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
And then, after reading it, I was like so moved,
like such a great should.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yeah, it was amazing so great and even the?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
um, aside from the relationship of olivia and
patricia, was the relationshipof olivia and her mom um and her
feelings of abandonment and allof the complications and
emotions that came with thatalso resonated very deeply with
me.
Um.
So, yeah, I felt like this wasa very I don't know if intricate
or complex book.
Uh, yeah, it was the right term, but there was just so much to
(24:10):
it, um, and I just thought thisis yeah, it was just great, yeah
yeah, great job julie I thinkmother characters are always
tough and I've had two books ina row with tough mother
characters not intentional.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
But addiction is another thing a lot of people
don't talk about.
So I guess in any single one ofmy books I try to put like the
topics that I feel like need tocome to light but people don't
talk enough about.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
So, yeah, 100%, and I feel like you wrote it with
with such care.
Also, no-transcript book werewere very special to me.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
That makes me happy, because I do think one of the
other things that people don'tdo often is it's really hard to
know when when boundaries arethe right choice.
Yeah, boundaries and saying noon a relationship is self care.
Yes, so that was.
Another thing I wanted to listwas something she couldn't cross
off in the way she thought shecould but that was the right
(25:29):
choice for her.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Absolutely toxic family members are everywhere
hey, they're a doozy, that's forsure.
Talk about dysfunction junctionyou'll find a little
dysfunction in all my books butagain, these are things that her
(25:57):
and I have dealt with in ourfamily.
And yeah, so it's, you know,very relatable.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yeah, yeah, such a great way to kind of intertwine
all of the themes of the bookand what you were trying to
convey.
It was just, it was so good,yeah, perfect ending, perfect
All the things.
And, like I said earlier, Iloved it and I wanted more of
Olivia and I'm like, well, whatis she gonna do now and what
comes next?
And Like, okay, fine, let's saywe don't get a second book,
like, where is Olivia today?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Julie, what is?
Speaker 1 (26:28):
she doing?
Speaker 3 (26:29):
I hope she's doing really well and she's a realtor,
so she's making her own money,Right.
Okay, I hope she's stillvisiting Patricia.
I thought that was pretty cool.
I don't want to get manyspoilers away, but I think she's
a lot more secure with herselfbecause I think that was the
transition it was seeing herselfremembering who she was, but
(26:50):
also figuring out who she wantedto be.
So I think she's doing prettygreat.
I don't know if she's stillgoing to book club.
It's okay.
It's a hard new boundary andthat's okay.
A real boundary, and that'sokay.
And I I loved writing the bookclub scene.
My um town book club chose mybook, so I had to be like I
wrote this years ago before Imet any of you.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Don't worry, I have a question for you when you go to
book club.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
do you actually read the book or do you sit and drink
wine and talk about reading thebook?
I definitely drink wine.
I get nicer, you know.
I get more interesting.
No, sometimes every book club'sdifferent.
Usually I come with questionsin case there's like that
awkward like oh, I thought youwere going to have questions,
and usually they ask lots ofquestions and it just happens
normally where someone might say, oh, I have a me list, and then
(27:44):
I'm like, ooh, let's, let'shear this.
So I've had that, where peoplejust start off by sharing their
me list.
Sometimes they ask me to read apart in the book which you know
I try to pretend they're likemy kids and I read to them,
otherwise I get nervous.
Wine helps, so that's good.
It usually is just a great,great discussion and, um, so
many of them do share their melist and they're nice.
(28:06):
I can't tell you how many timesI've left a book club crying
because of something on their melist.
Um, I had the most fabulous one, where someone shared like a
secret that she hadn't toldanybody.
Like it was a friend book club,they were like friends for like
30 years and she had beensecretly taking a hip-hop class.
Oh wow, because this woman waslike the most precious, amazing
(28:30):
woman, very shy and like shetook a while, but everybody had
shared these amazing personal melists so she felt like she
should share hers and I just waslike I did not see it coming
and I was so excited like she's60 years old, taking hip-hop for
the first time.
She was tired of being shy andshe read the book and that was
(28:50):
like I think it's my favoritebook.
Wow, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
It was a good night.
Very cool, very, very cool.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I love it oh gosh, julie, it has been so fun
speaking with you, getting tohear my first ever kind of like
behind the scenes of a book.
Yeah, speaking with the authorof a book that I've read like
this has been so exciting.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Very cool.
Yeah, Celia, reach out whenyou're at your next meeting.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
All right, perfect Thank you, I will take you up on
that.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Yeah, please tell our listeners where they can find
you, what you have coming upnext, anything that you'd like
to plug before we let you go?
Good idea.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
So the me list and the things we keep are available
on Amazon and Barnes andNoblecom.
You can find me on every socialbecause we have to be in.
So to my kids, but check me out.
And I also have a website,Julie J U L E E, embarrassing to
my kids, but hey, check me out.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
And I also have a website, Julie J-U-L-E-E
Valcocom.
Love it, Julie.
Thank you again.
Happy Halloween, Enjoy it withthe girls.
Tell them we said hello.
I feel like we kept this veryPG so they can listen, they can
watch this episode.
We only have one minute in therub, like twice.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
I think we're going to do it.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Awesome, julie.
Thank you again for joining us.
Bye, bye.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Thank you for joining us on this wine-filled
adventure.
We would greatly appreciateyour support.
Please follow and rate ourpodcast on apple podcast,
spotify or wherever you'retuning in right now.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
So raise a glass, leave no wine behind and let's
continue this journey together.
Cheers.
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