September 12, 2024 • 35 mins
Ever tried to DJ and ended up in a playlist war? Alex & Celia's hilarious weekend recount will leave you laughing out loud! Plus, we're diving into a quirky 26-minute shower story from People magazine—was it a water-wasting disaster or just relationship pettiness?
Cold showers, weird bathroom setups, and Massachusetts’ happy hour ban—get ready for a rant!
Lastly, can smart women really believe all men cheat? We debate a shocking quote, share a tale of emotional cheating, and even explore how Italians use cheese as loan collateral. Don't miss this packed episode of laughs, gossip, & surprising twists!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to the no Wine Left Behind podcast, where
we truly leave no wine behind.
I'm Alex and I'm Celia.
We are here in the studiotogether, sharing ups and downs,
frustrations and funny momentsof our daily adventures.
So grab your favorite glass,join us as we raise our voices
Together, we'll dive into thedrama of life as we see it.
Hey, hey, hey, good evening.
(00:28):
My dear tag team back again.
Okay, no, that whole song youknow.
Oh, we gotta get you to sayhold on.
I'm gonna add it to my playlistfor those listening.
I have playlists for familykaraoke.
I have playlists for when we'rehaving, like, parties at the
(00:48):
house.
I have a playlist for whenwe're having parties up north,
because there's different vibes.
Yes, what we listen to at homewe can't listen to.
It's hard to sometimes get theright vibe going.
That's why I will let someoneconnect um to the speaker.
(01:12):
Um, because I don't know ifeveryone wants to hear what I'm
playing and I do have a coupledifferent playlists, but, like I
know, I like them.
Yeah, other people will likethem.
So that's why you have to haveoptions.
Yeah, all these playlists, yes,so fun, that's what we do.
They came in handy this pastweekend.
Oh, my god, there was so manydifferent types of people at the
house this weekend, yeah, thatI just didn't know where to go
(01:35):
with the music.
I really didn't know where togo.
I thought I was moving in theright direction and then it
wasn't, and I was like Biancatook over.
For a while Things got a littlecrazy.
You took over.
It went like North countrysomewhere.
I don't even know where it went.
It was just I was like, okay,you got to mix it up, can this
night be over now?
(01:55):
Like I was done with the music,like I was literally done.
Like you were saying, thoughit's tough, there's just so many
people was literally done.
Like you were saying, thoughit's tough, there's just so many
people.
Yeah, yeah, it's a lot, yeah,so, um, anyways, I have like
this really like it's not funny,but it's something that I deal
with on a daily basis.
Okay, and it's a story that Iread in my people magazine,
(02:18):
because I know how mucheverybody must by now know how
much I love people magazine.
Yeah, it was a story about awoman that accused her partner
of wasting water after she tooka 26 minute shower.
What Her partner won?
(02:41):
So her and her partner, theywent on Reddit.
Okay, okay, because they wantedpeople's opinion.
Of course that's where peoplego, yeah, so this girl takes.
Apparently this person takesthis length of a shower once
every um, three to four days.
(03:01):
Wow, because she works fromhome and she doesn't shower
every day.
Well, problem number one.
So this whole thing, theaccusation, it went viral.
It went viral.
They put their full detailargument in a post because they
(03:26):
wanted people's feedback.
Oh gosh.
So you know.
She describes herself as afemale, long, thick hair in the
middle of a full-body shower.
That included washing,conditioning, building her case,
hair shaving, all the things.
(03:46):
Okay, hot girl shower.
So apparently that's considereda full body shower.
Okay, okay, sorry, my nose isvery itchy and I know, okay, I
have allergies, sorry.
So her partner lost her shitwhile she was in the shower.
The partner proceeded to play.
(04:07):
I mean, I'm sorry, excuse meRewind.
The partner proceeded to runthe sink the entire time she was
in the shower to see if thegirl noticed that's so petty and
that's what the whole thingabout.
Like, was that petty of her?
(04:28):
Yeah, is the girl the asshole?
Is the partner the asshole?
Like, who's the jerk?
The partner, 100% the partner.
So she said to her.
Did you notice how much waterthat the sink was running?
She goes, no, she goes.
Were you able to hear it whileyou were in the shower?
(04:50):
She said no, she goes.
Exactly my point.
What's the point?
I'm confused.
Apparently, not all homesoperate the same.
Like I get it.
Kind of like back in the daythey would be like oh, don't
flush the toilet Right, becauseit would change the temperature.
I get it.
So I think her whole point waslike if you were mindful of the
(05:10):
fact that you were in the showerthat long, you would have
noticed I was running the waterthe entire time you were in
there.
Why?
I mean, your water bill isgoing to the length of her
playlist, which totaled us 26minutes.
Okay, that is actually prettyepic.
(05:35):
I love that.
But if I were the partner,instead of turning the water on,
on, be smart and just delete acouple songs and then the shower
will be shorter.
Well, she, she feels justifiedbecause of the fact that she
only showers three to four daysa week, because she works from
(05:58):
home.
So she feels like if I'mshowering 26 minutes three to
four days a week, it would totala few minutes every day for
seven days.
So she's just like kind ofusing up girl bath.
Right, I hear her, but also noshe.
They were asking readers likewho's the asshole?
She the asshole for taking a 26minute shower, or my the
(06:21):
asshole for wasting water,running the sink while she's in
the shower and being incomplaining that she was in the
shower for 26 minutes.
What was the response?
What are people saying?
People think the partner wasthe asshole.
I agree.
For running the water, I agree.
What are your thoughts?
I mean, I think she was too.
One guy wrote I would.
I grew up in a time where youcouldn't flush the toilet or run
(06:42):
the sink when someone was inthe shower, exactly.
So, yeah, people think most ofthe people thought that the
partner was the asshole, not thegirl in the shower.
Well, now I want to know, likeplaylist aside, what is like the
average shower time.
(07:02):
So I'm glad you asked.
I wasn't expecting yourscientific answer, but I was so
excited.
I would say I don't knowscientifically.
I would say between seven andnine minutes, maybe 10 minutes,
oh yeah, but it depends on theperson.
Sure, so this is how I figuredit all out.
(07:24):
But it depends on the person.
Sure, so, and this is how Ifigured it all out.
When you have a child, you haveto jump in and jump out of the
shower, like.
You can't be in the shower formore than 10 minutes.
You can't.
Kid's going nuts.
If he's awake, yeah.
If he's sleeping and he wakesup, he's going crazy.
Yeah, right, they can trash thehouse, mm-hmm.
(07:45):
So I had three daughters.
I learned very quickly to jumpin that shower, wash my body,
get out.
I learned to shave when theirdad was home, wash my hair if
they were all sleeping or thedad was home.
But never could I do a fullbody wash like this.
(08:06):
One did 26 minutes while I washome alone with my kids.
Yeah.
So my kids are older.
Now they're almost all adults.
Two of them are adults, one'salmost there.
I still take that seven minuteshower, yeah, like.
I literally get in the shower,wash my hair, wash my body.
I don't shave every day, sothat you know that's sure.
(08:27):
Shaves a couple of minutes,shaves a couple of minutes off
my shower time, um so, um, I'm,I'm.
Anybody will tell you I am thefastest shower shower ever.
Yeah, like ever.
And I don't wash my hair everyday.
(08:49):
So that's another reason why myshowers are yep, on the faster
side.
Yeah, I have family membersthat will shall remain nameless,
that have very small bodies andthey are in the shower for 26
minutes.
One more, yeah, that's crazy.
(09:10):
When I tell you 20 minutes ormore, I'm not like, literally we
have to knock on the door andgo hello, are you okay in there?
What is happening?
Your body's this big, what areyou washing?
(09:31):
Yeah, it's so frustrating andit happens every single day.
I tell you every day, every day, every day, it's hello, hello,
it's been 20 minutes.
Yep, oh, my gosh, same personevery day Drives me insane.
(09:53):
You know what else drives meinsane about showers?
When you go into the bathroom,turn the shower on, then you
start using the toilet, yourtoenails, what the fuck the
(10:13):
shower is?
The fucking running people getyour ass in the fucking shower
and wash yourself, like what ishappening.
I can't, I can't, I don't knowif it like a thing growing up
and my parents always say you'rewasting the water, you're
wasting the water.
I don't know if that just stuckin my brain somewhere.
Yeah, but like me, growing up,I grew up where, like I was in a
(10:37):
household where, like, the hotwater ran out.
Yeah, if too many people took ashower.
You know what I mean.
Yep out, yeah, if too manypeople took a shower.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, nowadays they have thesenavian, yeah, water heater
thingy, majiggy, whatever theyare, it's endless hot water.
Yes, I don't have that.
My hot water runs out.
You can flush the toilet, youcan run the sink while you're in
(11:01):
one of my, in my shower, but itwill run out.
So if you want hot water, youhave to get in the shower before
this family member or you'refucked.
That's see, how many times didI swear there?
Because that's how crazy.
It makes me crazy, crazy.
(11:23):
Oh my goodness.
Yep, everyone else, quick andout, does their thing.
I'm probably the fastest.
Yeah, yeah, the 20-minute orplus shower kills me.
Oh, you know what else kills metoo.
Oh, boy, One more thing Grindsyour gears, grinds your gears.
(11:44):
Turn the fan on when you get inthe bathroom.
Oh, yes, turn the fan on.
Yes, turn the fan up.
Yeah, I get two things aboutthe fan, yes.
Number one turn the fan onbefore you go into the shower
because the moisture in thebathroom, right, don't shut it
off when you get out of theshower.
Leave it running for anotherminute or two so it can get
(12:07):
right the moisture out.
Yes, yes, shut it off, yes,okay.
So that's like a regularconversation.
Um, yeah, going to the bathroomand not putting the fan on, why
that's a big dick move, why Bigdick?
So you use the bathroom?
(12:28):
Yeah, finish up.
Yep, wash your hands, step outof the bathroom.
There's no spray, there's nofan.
Then you have the audacity toleave the door open.
How dare you?
Yeah, the door open is wild,but, okay, nobody wants to smell
(12:49):
your shit.
Wait, wait, wait, okay.
So two things.
One, what's worse, though likekeeping the door closed.
So when you open it, you'relike annihilated, or leaving it
open, and I mean that's not abetter option.
But like what?
No, I mean like no, no, I hearwhat you're saying, but just
like in general, like, oh, no,close the door when you go to
(13:10):
the bathroom.
I don't want to be no, I don'twant to just sit there and smell
someone going to the bathroom,yeah, and.
And then I don't want to smellit afterwards.
So open the door, get in there,shut it and get out real quick
and shut it behind you real fastafter you've sprayed and put
the fan on.
So then here's my thing, andmaybe you might know this, maybe
(13:31):
you might not.
If anyone listening knows this,fucking enlighten me.
Why are bathrooms next to thefucking kitchen?
Oh right, what the fuck is thatabout?
No, that's a good observation.
Why?
That's a great observation.
Every single bathroom is in thekitchen, in the kitchen or by
the kitchen.
It's weird, it is weird.
It is weird.
(13:51):
That is weird.
Why put it a little bit down.
The here's the thing.
It's all the plumbing'sconnected.
Listen, all the plumbing'sconnected.
Listen, all the plumbing'sconnected.
Get a longer pipe connected afucking different way.
And they can, and theyabsolutely can.
Pipes come in all shapes andsizes, gross and weird, and why
(14:12):
I don't know, but I can tell you.
The shower thing, the fan thingand the not spraying and closing
the door after you do your duty, yeah, is a crime scene.
It's.
You should be arrested.
Awful, similar arrest, citizensarrest.
(14:33):
It's barbaric.
Like what?
Well, no, I mean barbar.
They pooped outside, so theymay as well just shit in the
fucking kitchen, like you're notclosing the door, you're not
spraying, you're not putting thefan on.
Why are you even using thefucking toilet at this point?
Right, what's the point?
(14:54):
What you want?
Your privacy, really, really,go fuck yourself, I can.
The tiktoks you're watching, ohmy god, like honest to god, I
just can't, I can't, I fuckingcan't.
So there's all the swearing Ididn't do last episode.
(15:16):
There you have it.
Bring up a conversation aboutthe bathroom and the shower with
me.
It's gonna pull me into a fullfucking fit of rage, fucking
rage.
Oh my god, this is so funny.
Yeah, yeah, but these are reallife problems.
No, these are real life, firstworld problems.
They are and it's, it's awful.
(15:38):
It's just, oh, I hate it.
I really so funny.
So, anyways, that was my showerfucking story.
And now I'm like annoyed.
Um, do you have any storiesthat will take me out of my
(16:00):
annoyed state?
No, but I could be annoyed withyou.
Misery loves company.
Okay, I'm annoyed that foranother year so what, 40 years
and counting?
Happy hour is still banned inmassachusetts.
Cares I, would you care abouthappy hour?
Why?
Because it like makes it morefun and people go, go and you
(16:21):
can have like themes.
And I just feel like when yougo to other places and they have
happy hour, it's like a to-do,like people are excited.
We don't have happy hour.
Actually, you're right, becauseI get excited.
Where do we go in this happyhour but we miss it every time.
We, every time we literallywalk in, she goes oh, you just
missed happy hour.
I'm like no shit, no, fuckingsurprise there, because happy
(16:45):
hours, like four to seven, likepeople are working, people are
just getting out of work likenot me happy out.
Well, no, not you, but mostother people.
But like happy hour is such aweird time where, like someone
like a me misses it.
Yeah, so it's not really happyanymore because I missed the two
dollar freaking margaritas.
(17:05):
Oh man, fuck, you know what Imean.
Two dollar margarita, oh boy,oh boy.
I mean it's not a good idea todrink the two dollar margaritas
because you're drinking likebottom of the barrel, but not a
good idea.
Yeah, that's why it's banned,all right, never mind, okay,
case closed.
You answered your own question,case closed, perfect, um, okay.
(17:28):
So yes, let's get into a littlebit of a discussion.
Okay, so my friend is a bookgirly a what a book girly.
So she's like reading a lot ofbooks, right, okay, that's like
I've never heard of it calledthat, but okay, 2024 goal is to
like read a fuck ton of books,okay.
So she was asking me a questionabout a line in a book that she
(17:52):
had read.
Okay, and we were very dividedin this discussion, so I want to
get your opinion.
Oh boy, so you really want myopinion?
I didn't write down the name ofthe book, but the author is
Katie White and the quote issmart women accept that all men
(18:14):
cheat.
Sorry, I think I did somethingto my microphone, but hopefully
not.
It's smart men accept that.
Smart men accept, no, thatsmart women, oh, smart women
accept, yep, that all men cheat.
Oh, hmm, I mean, they all do.
Yes, yeah, that was my stanceas well.
(18:36):
But accepting it, yep, yup, no,yeah, like, my stance is okay.
So, like I accept that they do?
Right, I believe that they do,yes, yes, but what do you mean?
Accepting it?
Like you're accepting the factthat your man cheats, so you're
just going to stay with him, orjust accepting the fact that all
men cheat?
So, accepting the fact thatthey all cheat?
(18:57):
Yeah, I, I agree with that.
A fact that they all cheat?
Yeah, I, I agree with that.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah, they do.
My friend did not.
My friend was very like, no,not all of them.
Oh, they do.
And I was like, at one point oftheir in their life.
Absolutely, they did 100, yeah,100.
I know and I'm going to speakabout this because I don't think
(19:18):
they'll probably ever listen tothe podcast I don't see them
anymore.
I don't hot take whatever.
Well, anyways, I know a coupleknew I don't, I don't, I don't,
I don't it's not that I don'tknow them anymore, but I don't
see them.
I hang around them or I haven'tseen them in years knew a
couple happily married.
We thought two kids, husband,total dweeb, like when I tell
(19:43):
you, nerdzilla, super nice guy,super nice guy.
But he was just like videogamer reading, like it was
fucking weird, like he was justfucking weird.
We thought like she was off herrocker with this guy.
(20:04):
We're like what the fuck iswrong with her.
But her biological clock wasticking.
They met online.
She felt like I need to havekids, I need to get married, I
need to get my life and go, youknow, okay, fine, so she'd be
married.
This motherfucker was cheatingon her online with people online
(20:27):
.
Ew, can you believe?
Like we all were like what?
Like we thought she was makingit up because she wanted out of
the marriage.
Oh my God, because she wasn'treally in love with him.
It was just like I said.
She wanted to have her kid.
He was not her type, she, hewas not not her type at all.
Yeah, um, he was literallyhaving an online affair with
(20:53):
some random woman, probably asdorky as him.
It was the craziest, funniest,weirdest fucked up story we ever
heard.
We literally were like no,you're fucking lying.
Like no way is that happening.
So wait, what did it take foryou to believe her?
She showed us the, the online.
(21:16):
She showed us the, the messagesher on.
How did she find out?
I don't know, I think she musthave like saw something on his
laptop or whatever.
Oh my god, can you believe it?
So they're not together anymore.
Then he admitted it.
Well, good accountability iswell she, she tried to give him
another chance because theperson that he was online with
(21:37):
wasn't from around here.
It was just like a an emotionalconnection, but still, it's
still cheating.
I'm sorry, oh 100, when youemotionally connect to someone
and it's not your partner andyour wife or your husband, it's,
it's cheating.
I don't give a shit whatanybody says.
Agreed, um, so she decided togive him another chance and, um,
(21:57):
yeah, it just it didn't work.
He, I think he ended up doingit again, or so she found out
something else had happened orwhatever.
I can't remember, but it wasjust.
The point is like, even someonewho you would least expect it
could be the most handsome,well-rounded, financially stable
man with status, it could bethe dorkiest of dorks that you
(22:21):
would never imagine in a millionyears.
Yeah, it happens, it fuckinghappened.
Yeah, and that kind of like didit for me.
I'm like, wow, this guy foundsomeone to cheat with, holy shit
, but again, it was online, justlike he met her, sure.
So, yeah, I don't know if itreally counts, because it's not
like he met someone in person tocheat with, because, gosh, it
(22:45):
should have been even worse,wasn't an attractive man?
Yeah, I guess everybody has.
You know, they said there wassomebody out there for everyone.
I agree, yeah, yeah, I believe,but yeah, it's yeah, everybody,
yeah, all men, they all cheat.
Do you think all women cheat?
No, no, no, I think some womenare.
I think for men, the examplethat you just described is a
(23:10):
little bit different, becausethat was emotional, but I feel
like for men it is very likephysical, it's very like
conqueror, yeah, conquest kindof a thing, where for women it's
a little bit different, likeit's emotional.
They want like a connectionthat maintains right.
Right, and I think too, womenare more probably privy to like
an affair and a long-term thing,right, not so much like a quick
(23:31):
cheat, I feel like right, it'snot like a, it's not like a
quickie thing, like a one-nightstand thing.
I feel like when women do it,it's because they're um, looking
for some type of connection oremotion or feeling that they
didn't, they're not getting inthe relationship or current
situation that they're in.
And a lot of times when womendo it, the person that they're
(23:54):
having the affair with, theycould be with that person long
term because that is the personthat they made that connection
with.
I mean, sometimes it doesn'twork out and they end up being
with long term because that isthe person that they made that
connection with.
I mean, sometimes it doesn'twork out and they end up being
with other people because thatdidn't work Right, but it took
them away from the unhappinessthat they were in and they think
they realize, oh, there's a,there's something else out here.
You know what I mean.
It's not just what.
(24:14):
It was Right, so, but you'reright, for men it's like that
quick, you know instantgratification, right, and it's
like the notch on the belt typething, yeah, jumping from one to
the other, which is disgustingand so weird to me, like it just
seems like a lot of wastedenergy and time.
Like why Just be alone?
(24:36):
Be alone or be okay with that,yeah.
Or settle down with one person.
That it's kind of like this isso bad.
It's kind of like buying a houselike you're not going to find
the house that checks every box,right.
At one point you're going tohave to find someone that is
just good enough, right, andthat's not settling in my
(24:57):
opinion, but like you're justlike perfect or perfection is
not really attainable orachievable.
I know people who shall remainnameless she's getting loud that
have set the bar so high thatthey can't just do that, do that
(25:26):
.
So, yeah, lower your standards,because you're not going to
find every single thing you wantin a man, right, you have to
see past certain shit and moveon and, at our age, recognize
that if, after everything you'vebeen through, you're still
seeking that been through,you're still seeking that,
you're probably not going tofind it.
Like you have to waver a littlebit and again, I don't want to
(25:47):
use the word settle, because Ifeel like that has like a
negative connotation.
Yeah, but like, you just haveto realize that what it is
you're looking for, what it isyou're after, it's not out there
.
It's you're looking in thewrong places.
No, it's not out there.
Or the common, the thought ofsomething is very nice, oh, 100%
(26:09):
, but it's not realistic.
Hello, the idea of having X, yand Z is amazing, but it's not.
We're experiencing that in realtime with Ben Affleck and
Jennifer Lopez.
Oh, yeah, 20 years ago, oh myGod, they were like the it
couple.
20 years later, I want them tobe together.
(26:29):
I'm rooting for them.
They've been separated sinceapril.
So in her divorce yeah, papersthat she filed, she lists the
date of separation as april.
I know that's a bummer.
Yeah, so they've been separatedfor a long time.
Yeah, but that's the thing.
Sad people, and you think like,oh, 20 years later, they would
(26:50):
have grown up and they're not.
Like, they're a differentperson, they're more mature.
No, like the shit that theywere before is, yes, more mature
.
Like maybe he's a dork, buthe's a more mature dork.
Like maybe he's an asshole orwas an asshole.
He's a more mature asshole andvice versa.
Like, yeah, I'm sad for themtoo, but I'm I really wanted
(27:11):
them to, yeah, work, I like themtogether.
Listen, you don't bring thetrash.
Why they just baby, they justlook so good together.
No, you don't.
You don't go back to your exes.
Yeah, she, he was the love ofher life according to her.
Clearly not.
No, she, he was love of herlife.
He wasn't the love she wasn'tthe love of his life because
(27:34):
he's being a dick.
You don't know that.
I know that maybe it was heldby his that mean mug he always
has that.
No, like, a lot of people sawthis coming, so they were like
drawing references back to herdocumentary that came out on
amazon prime a couple months agoabout the album that she made
for him.
Oh my god, and she hadfacetimed jane fonda and jane
(27:59):
fonda and her were in um,monster in law.
Yeah, and jane fonda, and it'sso, predicted it right, yes, and
they kept it in the documentary.
I forget, like exactly what itwas.
I did see something about that.
But she literally said somethinglike Jennifer, like you just
don't seem like you're in love,or like something like that,
(28:19):
something to that effect.
And she played it off and shewas like no, we love each other,
everything's great.
No, like people knew you wereunhappy, why go through all that
?
Why go through the marriage andall the hoopla and all the this
and that hope and hope and hope?
Listen, they had like twoweddings.
They had like all this stuff,like, yeah, you just hope.
(28:42):
You have this idea of theperson in your mind and it's
just not real.
No, it's not reality, no, no,no, it's not.
Yeah, it's not yep.
So, anywho, do you know thatsome banks in italy accept
parmesan cheese as collateralfor loans?
Fucking, moving there, I'mgoing.
(29:05):
The practice began the miduh20th century in the town of
Reggio Emilia.
How much cheese do I have toput up to get like a house, I
don't know, or a business, buthow much cheese are we talking
about?
Well, I mean, I guess somebanks accept wheels of cheese
(29:27):
and they're stored in awheelhouse, because these wheels
of cheese, the value is atbetween like 900 and 1500
dollars, depending on the ageand quality of the cheese, and
they store these.
They store them until, like, aperson can die with the cheese.
What money, what?
(29:49):
No, it's like, it's like we'll,it's like collateral, like
we'll take your, yourParmigiano-Reggiano cheese until
you can make payment.
I've never heard something soridiculous.
Yeah, it's collateral for, like, small business loans.
In my life, Parmigiano-Reggianowheels of cheese, no.
But you know what this bringsup a good topic, because I was
(30:13):
thinking about this with wine.
Actually, you know how wine,like you let it sit in your
fucking cellar for a gajillionyears and pass it on down to
generations and it's vintage andit's so amazing.
But who fucking decides that?
Like, who cares if this dustyfucking bottle of wine has been
in my family for fuckingcenturies?
Like that seems unhealthy, thatdoesn't seem like I can sell it
(30:36):
for $2,000.
So you're saying this withcheese too.
Like, oh, we're just going tohold fucking wheels of cheese
and they store it in a warehouseand they hold on to it until no
, because it's not, like it'snot increasing in value, like
that's fucking weird whiners.
I might sneeze on the podcast,just letting you know.
May the lord bless you.
(30:56):
So anyways, in us, since 1953,the regional bank of 53, credito
emiliano how many has beenaccepted an annual, unusual form
of collateral for smallbusiness loans massive will of
Parmesan.
That's an old ass, fuckingcheese.
I mean, at this point it's likefucking blue cheese.
That's nasty, it's in a wheel,it's like an 80 pound, and is it
(31:20):
in like a fucking room that'sgonna preserve it and make it?
Fuck off.
That probably costs more thanthe fucking cheese.
It's in a warehouse that theystore it.
All right, I'm going to go tothat warehouse and I'm just
going to eat the cheese.
How about that?
Fuck off, okay, you can eat thecheese, but you know, 80 pounds
of cheese is valued at $900 to$1,500.
(31:44):
So, depending on how much moneyyou owe you to like, bring a
lot of cheese.
Like what?
Yeah, oh my god, one wheel ofcheese doesn't even pay you know
what rent.
If you lived in italy and youhad a loan and you couldn't pay
it, your ass would be bringingfucking wheels of cheese.
(32:04):
Listen, I'm gonna go to italy.
Okay, my cheese and the menthat cheat.
Let's go.
Oh no, why Leave the fuckingmen that cheat at home, because
they all cheat anyways.
We'll just go to the.
A little Mauricio, mauricio, alittle Vincenzo, what you would
like?
An Italian guy?
No, that sounds awful.
(32:24):
Like hair on his chest.
Ew, the one thing.
Oh, oh, my god, hair on hischest.
Oh, no, the one thing.
Oh, oh, my god, widow's peakhair on his chest.
They're the guys that, like theyhave like the button down to
here with the hair bulging out,and it's like why go put a
t-shirt on under there?
Like why don't you have at-shirt on underneath your
(32:46):
button-down shirt?
Or wax you nasty, trim it, likewhat the fuck?
Like?
Oh wait, I've heard aboutsomething recently.
Oh, now I forget the name of itand I was gonna say something.
That's definitely not the nameof it, but it's like this thing.
It's not laser, it starts withthe letter e and electrolysis.
(33:07):
No, I don't know, maybe, but ithas like a lot of tweezers at
once.
What's that?
I don't know.
Okay, more to come.
I just found out about this andit sounds so painful, but I hear
it has my result.
Why would we want that?
Because I hear it has goodresults.
No, we don't want anything withpain has to be pain-free.
Are you talking about, like,red hair removal?
(33:28):
Yes, no, no, yeah, no, you canhelp me out if it has a lot of
little things and it's gonnacause me pain.
I'm done, all right, fine, nope, okay, nope.
So you're looking for a husband?
Yeah, duh, korea, south koreais paying people $38,000 to find
(33:51):
a husband or wife, as long asit's not North Korea, we're good
.
Nope, south Korea, they'regrappling with the world's
lowest birth rate.
Oh well, I don't want kids, Iwant a husband.
I'm not having kids.
They're turning to financialincentives in efforts to reserve
its demographic decline.
Where was this offer four yearsago?
So they want couples to getmarried?
(34:12):
Tie the.
We'll give you 38 000.
Go have some kids to bring upour nope, um, population.
Nope, those days for me areover.
Yeah, no.
So I can't have an italianhusband.
I can't have a south koreanhusband.
No, jeez, how many countriesare there?
Cause I just got too off thelist.
No, and I'm also with Americanhusbands too.
(34:35):
So you're done.
Three countries, you're done.
I think you're just.
Might as well stay by yourselfat this point.
There's more countries outthere.
No, you'll find something wrongwith every single one of them.
I know I have the Seinfeldsyndrome.
Yeah, no, just, yeah, just,just be alone, just be alone.
Okay, that's the name oftoday's episode just be alone.
(34:59):
Thank you for joining us onthis wine build adventure.
We would greatly appreciateyour support.
Please follow and rate ourpodcast on Apple Podcasts,
spotify or wherever you'retuning in right now.
So raise a glass, leave no winebehind, and let's continue this
journey together.
Cheers.
Welcome to the no Wine Left Behind podcast, where
we truly leave no wine behind.
I'm Alex and I'm Celia.
We are here in the studiotogether, sharing ups and downs,
frustrations and funny momentsof our daily adventures.
So grab your favorite glass,join us as we raise our voices
Together, we'll dive into thedrama of life as we see it.
Hey, hey, hey, good evening.
(00:28):
My dear tag team back again.
Okay, no, that whole song youknow.
Oh, we gotta get you to sayhold on.
I'm gonna add it to my playlistfor those listening.
I have playlists for familykaraoke.
I have playlists for when we'rehaving, like, parties at the
(00:48):
house.
I have a playlist for whenwe're having parties up north,
because there's different vibes.
Yes, what we listen to at homewe can't listen to.
It's hard to sometimes get theright vibe going.
That's why I will let someoneconnect um to the speaker.
(01:12):
Um, because I don't know ifeveryone wants to hear what I'm
playing and I do have a coupledifferent playlists, but, like I
know, I like them.
Yeah, other people will likethem.
So that's why you have to haveoptions.
Yeah, all these playlists, yes,so fun, that's what we do.
They came in handy this pastweekend.
Oh, my god, there was so manydifferent types of people at the
house this weekend, yeah, thatI just didn't know where to go
(01:35):
with the music.
I really didn't know where togo.
I thought I was moving in theright direction and then it
wasn't, and I was like Biancatook over.
For a while Things got a littlecrazy.
You took over.
It went like North countrysomewhere.
I don't even know where it went.
It was just I was like, okay,you got to mix it up, can this
night be over now?
(01:55):
Like I was done with the music,like I was literally done.
Like you were saying, thoughit's tough, there's just so many
people was literally done.
Like you were saying, thoughit's tough, there's just so many
people.
Yeah, yeah, it's a lot, yeah,so, um, anyways, I have like
this really like it's not funny,but it's something that I deal
with on a daily basis.
Okay, and it's a story that Iread in my people magazine,
(02:18):
because I know how mucheverybody must by now know how
much I love people magazine.
Yeah, it was a story about awoman that accused her partner
of wasting water after she tooka 26 minute shower.
What Her partner won?
(02:41):
So her and her partner, theywent on Reddit.
Okay, okay, because they wantedpeople's opinion.
Of course that's where peoplego, yeah, so this girl takes.
Apparently this person takesthis length of a shower once
every um, three to four days.
(03:01):
Wow, because she works fromhome and she doesn't shower
every day.
Well, problem number one.
So this whole thing, theaccusation, it went viral.
It went viral.
They put their full detailargument in a post because they
(03:26):
wanted people's feedback.
Oh gosh.
So you know.
She describes herself as afemale, long, thick hair in the
middle of a full-body shower.
That included washing,conditioning, building her case,
hair shaving, all the things.
(03:46):
Okay, hot girl shower.
So apparently that's considereda full body shower.
Okay, okay, sorry, my nose isvery itchy and I know, okay, I
have allergies, sorry.
So her partner lost her shitwhile she was in the shower.
The partner proceeded to play.
(04:07):
I mean, I'm sorry, excuse meRewind.
The partner proceeded to runthe sink the entire time she was
in the shower to see if thegirl noticed that's so petty and
that's what the whole thingabout.
Like, was that petty of her?
(04:28):
Yeah, is the girl the asshole?
Is the partner the asshole?
Like, who's the jerk?
The partner, 100% the partner.
So she said to her.
Did you notice how much waterthat the sink was running?
She goes, no, she goes.
Were you able to hear it whileyou were in the shower?
(04:50):
She said no, she goes.
Exactly my point.
What's the point?
I'm confused.
Apparently, not all homesoperate the same.
Like I get it.
Kind of like back in the daythey would be like oh, don't
flush the toilet Right, becauseit would change the temperature.
I get it.
So I think her whole point waslike if you were mindful of the
(05:10):
fact that you were in the showerthat long, you would have
noticed I was running the waterthe entire time you were in
there.
Why?
I mean, your water bill isgoing to the length of her
playlist, which totaled us 26minutes.
Okay, that is actually prettyepic.
(05:35):
I love that.
But if I were the partner,instead of turning the water on,
on, be smart and just delete acouple songs and then the shower
will be shorter.
Well, she, she feels justifiedbecause of the fact that she
only showers three to four daysa week, because she works from
(05:58):
home.
So she feels like if I'mshowering 26 minutes three to
four days a week, it would totala few minutes every day for
seven days.
So she's just like kind ofusing up girl bath.
Right, I hear her, but also noshe.
They were asking readers likewho's the asshole?
She the asshole for taking a 26minute shower, or my the
(06:21):
asshole for wasting water,running the sink while she's in
the shower and being incomplaining that she was in the
shower for 26 minutes.
What was the response?
What are people saying?
People think the partner wasthe asshole.
I agree.
For running the water, I agree.
What are your thoughts?
I mean, I think she was too.
One guy wrote I would.
I grew up in a time where youcouldn't flush the toilet or run
(06:42):
the sink when someone was inthe shower, exactly.
So, yeah, people think most ofthe people thought that the
partner was the asshole, not thegirl in the shower.
Well, now I want to know, likeplaylist aside, what is like the
average shower time.
(07:02):
So I'm glad you asked.
I wasn't expecting yourscientific answer, but I was so
excited.
I would say I don't knowscientifically.
I would say between seven andnine minutes, maybe 10 minutes,
oh yeah, but it depends on theperson.
Sure, so this is how I figuredit all out.
(07:24):
But it depends on the person.
Sure, so, and this is how Ifigured it all out.
When you have a child, you haveto jump in and jump out of the
shower, like.
You can't be in the shower formore than 10 minutes.
You can't.
Kid's going nuts.
If he's awake, yeah.
If he's sleeping and he wakesup, he's going crazy.
Yeah, right, they can trash thehouse, mm-hmm.
(07:45):
So I had three daughters.
I learned very quickly to jumpin that shower, wash my body,
get out.
I learned to shave when theirdad was home, wash my hair if
they were all sleeping or thedad was home.
But never could I do a fullbody wash like this.
(08:06):
One did 26 minutes while I washome alone with my kids.
Yeah.
So my kids are older.
Now they're almost all adults.
Two of them are adults, one'salmost there.
I still take that seven minuteshower, yeah, like.
I literally get in the shower,wash my hair, wash my body.
I don't shave every day, sothat you know that's sure.
(08:27):
Shaves a couple of minutes,shaves a couple of minutes off
my shower time, um so, um, I'm,I'm.
Anybody will tell you I am thefastest shower shower ever.
Yeah, like ever.
And I don't wash my hair everyday.
(08:49):
So that's another reason why myshowers are yep, on the faster
side.
Yeah, I have family membersthat will shall remain nameless,
that have very small bodies andthey are in the shower for 26
minutes.
One more, yeah, that's crazy.
(09:10):
When I tell you 20 minutes ormore, I'm not like, literally we
have to knock on the door andgo hello, are you okay in there?
What is happening?
Your body's this big, what areyou washing?
(09:31):
Yeah, it's so frustrating andit happens every single day.
I tell you every day, every day, every day, it's hello, hello,
it's been 20 minutes.
Yep, oh, my gosh, same personevery day Drives me insane.
(09:53):
You know what else drives meinsane about showers?
When you go into the bathroom,turn the shower on, then you
start using the toilet, yourtoenails, what the fuck the
(10:13):
shower is?
The fucking running people getyour ass in the fucking shower
and wash yourself, like what ishappening.
I can't, I can't, I don't knowif it like a thing growing up
and my parents always say you'rewasting the water, you're
wasting the water.
I don't know if that just stuckin my brain somewhere.
Yeah, but like me, growing up,I grew up where, like I was in a
(10:37):
household where, like, the hotwater ran out.
Yeah, if too many people took ashower.
You know what I mean.
Yep out, yeah, if too manypeople took a shower.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, nowadays they have thesenavian, yeah, water heater
thingy, majiggy, whatever theyare, it's endless hot water.
Yes, I don't have that.
My hot water runs out.
You can flush the toilet, youcan run the sink while you're in
(11:01):
one of my, in my shower, but itwill run out.
So if you want hot water, youhave to get in the shower before
this family member or you'refucked.
That's see, how many times didI swear there?
Because that's how crazy.
It makes me crazy, crazy.
(11:23):
Oh my goodness.
Yep, everyone else, quick andout, does their thing.
I'm probably the fastest.
Yeah, yeah, the 20-minute orplus shower kills me.
Oh, you know what else kills metoo.
Oh, boy, One more thing Grindsyour gears, grinds your gears.
(11:44):
Turn the fan on when you get inthe bathroom.
Oh, yes, turn the fan on.
Yes, turn the fan up.
Yeah, I get two things aboutthe fan, yes.
Number one turn the fan onbefore you go into the shower
because the moisture in thebathroom, right, don't shut it
off when you get out of theshower.
Leave it running for anotherminute or two so it can get
(12:07):
right the moisture out.
Yes, yes, shut it off, yes,okay.
So that's like a regularconversation.
Um, yeah, going to the bathroomand not putting the fan on, why
that's a big dick move, why Bigdick?
So you use the bathroom?
(12:28):
Yeah, finish up.
Yep, wash your hands, step outof the bathroom.
There's no spray, there's nofan.
Then you have the audacity toleave the door open.
How dare you?
Yeah, the door open is wild,but, okay, nobody wants to smell
(12:49):
your shit.
Wait, wait, wait, okay.
So two things.
One, what's worse, though likekeeping the door closed.
So when you open it, you'relike annihilated, or leaving it
open, and I mean that's not abetter option.
But like what?
No, I mean like no, no, I hearwhat you're saying, but just
like in general, like, oh, no,close the door when you go to
(13:10):
the bathroom.
I don't want to be no, I don'twant to just sit there and smell
someone going to the bathroom,yeah, and.
And then I don't want to smellit afterwards.
So open the door, get in there,shut it and get out real quick
and shut it behind you real fastafter you've sprayed and put
the fan on.
So then here's my thing, andmaybe you might know this, maybe
(13:31):
you might not.
If anyone listening knows this,fucking enlighten me.
Why are bathrooms next to thefucking kitchen?
Oh right, what the fuck is thatabout?
No, that's a good observation.
Why?
That's a great observation.
Every single bathroom is in thekitchen, in the kitchen or by
the kitchen.
It's weird, it is weird.
It is weird.
(13:51):
That is weird.
Why put it a little bit down.
The here's the thing.
It's all the plumbing'sconnected.
Listen, all the plumbing'sconnected.
Listen, all the plumbing'sconnected.
Get a longer pipe connected afucking different way.
And they can, and theyabsolutely can.
Pipes come in all shapes andsizes, gross and weird, and why
(14:12):
I don't know, but I can tell you.
The shower thing, the fan thingand the not spraying and closing
the door after you do your duty, yeah, is a crime scene.
It's.
You should be arrested.
Awful, similar arrest, citizensarrest.
(14:33):
It's barbaric.
Like what?
Well, no, I mean barbar.
They pooped outside, so theymay as well just shit in the
fucking kitchen, like you're notclosing the door, you're not
spraying, you're not putting thefan on.
Why are you even using thefucking toilet at this point?
Right, what's the point?
(14:54):
What you want?
Your privacy, really, really,go fuck yourself, I can.
The tiktoks you're watching, ohmy god, like honest to god, I
just can't, I can't, I fuckingcan't.
So there's all the swearing Ididn't do last episode.
(15:16):
There you have it.
Bring up a conversation aboutthe bathroom and the shower with
me.
It's gonna pull me into a fullfucking fit of rage, fucking
rage.
Oh my god, this is so funny.
Yeah, yeah, but these are reallife problems.
No, these are real life, firstworld problems.
They are and it's, it's awful.
(15:38):
It's just, oh, I hate it.
I really so funny.
So, anyways, that was my showerfucking story.
And now I'm like annoyed.
Um, do you have any storiesthat will take me out of my
(16:00):
annoyed state?
No, but I could be annoyed withyou.
Misery loves company.
Okay, I'm annoyed that foranother year so what, 40 years
and counting?
Happy hour is still banned inmassachusetts.
Cares I, would you care abouthappy hour?
Why?
Because it like makes it morefun and people go, go and you
(16:21):
can have like themes.
And I just feel like when yougo to other places and they have
happy hour, it's like a to-do,like people are excited.
We don't have happy hour.
Actually, you're right, becauseI get excited.
Where do we go in this happyhour but we miss it every time.
We, every time we literallywalk in, she goes oh, you just
missed happy hour.
I'm like no shit, no, fuckingsurprise there, because happy
(16:45):
hours, like four to seven, likepeople are working, people are
just getting out of work likenot me happy out.
Well, no, not you, but mostother people.
But like happy hour is such aweird time where, like someone
like a me misses it.
Yeah, so it's not really happyanymore because I missed the two
dollar freaking margaritas.
(17:05):
Oh man, fuck, you know what Imean.
Two dollar margarita, oh boy,oh boy.
I mean it's not a good idea todrink the two dollar margaritas
because you're drinking likebottom of the barrel, but not a
good idea.
Yeah, that's why it's banned,all right, never mind, okay,
case closed.
You answered your own question,case closed, perfect, um, okay.
(17:28):
So yes, let's get into a littlebit of a discussion.
Okay, so my friend is a bookgirly a what a book girly.
So she's like reading a lot ofbooks, right, okay, that's like
I've never heard of it calledthat, but okay, 2024 goal is to
like read a fuck ton of books,okay.
So she was asking me a questionabout a line in a book that she
(17:52):
had read.
Okay, and we were very dividedin this discussion, so I want to
get your opinion.
Oh boy, so you really want myopinion?
I didn't write down the name ofthe book, but the author is
Katie White and the quote issmart women accept that all men
(18:14):
cheat.
Sorry, I think I did somethingto my microphone, but hopefully
not.
It's smart men accept that.
Smart men accept, no, thatsmart women, oh, smart women
accept, yep, that all men cheat.
Oh, hmm, I mean, they all do.
Yes, yeah, that was my stanceas well.
(18:36):
But accepting it, yep, yup, no,yeah, like, my stance is okay.
So, like I accept that they do?
Right, I believe that they do,yes, yes, but what do you mean?
Accepting it?
Like you're accepting the factthat your man cheats, so you're
just going to stay with him, orjust accepting the fact that all
men cheat?
So, accepting the fact thatthey all cheat?
(18:57):
Yeah, I, I agree with that.
A fact that they all cheat?
Yeah, I, I agree with that.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah, they do.
My friend did not.
My friend was very like, no,not all of them.
Oh, they do.
And I was like, at one point oftheir in their life.
Absolutely, they did 100, yeah,100.
I know and I'm going to speakabout this because I don't think
(19:18):
they'll probably ever listen tothe podcast I don't see them
anymore.
I don't hot take whatever.
Well, anyways, I know a coupleknew I don't, I don't, I don't,
I don't it's not that I don'tknow them anymore, but I don't
see them.
I hang around them or I haven'tseen them in years knew a
couple happily married.
We thought two kids, husband,total dweeb, like when I tell
(19:43):
you, nerdzilla, super nice guy,super nice guy.
But he was just like videogamer reading, like it was
fucking weird, like he was justfucking weird.
We thought like she was off herrocker with this guy.
(20:04):
We're like what the fuck iswrong with her.
But her biological clock wasticking.
They met online.
She felt like I need to havekids, I need to get married, I
need to get my life and go, youknow, okay, fine, so she'd be
married.
This motherfucker was cheatingon her online with people online
(20:27):
.
Ew, can you believe?
Like we all were like what?
Like we thought she was makingit up because she wanted out of
the marriage.
Oh my God, because she wasn'treally in love with him.
It was just like I said.
She wanted to have her kid.
He was not her type, she, hewas not not her type at all.
Yeah, um, he was literallyhaving an online affair with
(20:53):
some random woman, probably asdorky as him.
It was the craziest, funniest,weirdest fucked up story we ever
heard.
We literally were like no,you're fucking lying.
Like no way is that happening.
So wait, what did it take foryou to believe her?
She showed us the, the online.
(21:16):
She showed us the, the messagesher on.
How did she find out?
I don't know, I think she musthave like saw something on his
laptop or whatever.
Oh my god, can you believe it?
So they're not together anymore.
Then he admitted it.
Well, good accountability iswell she, she tried to give him
another chance because theperson that he was online with
(21:37):
wasn't from around here.
It was just like a an emotionalconnection, but still, it's
still cheating.
I'm sorry, oh 100, when youemotionally connect to someone
and it's not your partner andyour wife or your husband, it's,
it's cheating.
I don't give a shit whatanybody says.
Agreed, um, so she decided togive him another chance and, um,
(21:57):
yeah, it just it didn't work.
He, I think he ended up doingit again, or so she found out
something else had happened orwhatever.
I can't remember, but it wasjust.
The point is like, even someonewho you would least expect it
could be the most handsome,well-rounded, financially stable
man with status, it could bethe dorkiest of dorks that you
(22:21):
would never imagine in a millionyears.
Yeah, it happens, it fuckinghappened.
Yeah, and that kind of like didit for me.
I'm like, wow, this guy foundsomeone to cheat with, holy shit
, but again, it was online, justlike he met her, sure.
So, yeah, I don't know if itreally counts, because it's not
like he met someone in person tocheat with, because, gosh, it
(22:45):
should have been even worse,wasn't an attractive man?
Yeah, I guess everybody has.
You know, they said there wassomebody out there for everyone.
I agree, yeah, yeah, I believe,but yeah, it's yeah, everybody,
yeah, all men, they all cheat.
Do you think all women cheat?
No, no, no, I think some womenare.
I think for men, the examplethat you just described is a
(23:10):
little bit different, becausethat was emotional, but I feel
like for men it is very likephysical, it's very like
conqueror, yeah, conquest kindof a thing, where for women it's
a little bit different, likeit's emotional.
They want like a connectionthat maintains right.
Right, and I think too, womenare more probably privy to like
an affair and a long-term thing,right, not so much like a quick
(23:31):
cheat, I feel like right, it'snot like a, it's not like a
quickie thing, like a one-nightstand thing.
I feel like when women do it,it's because they're um, looking
for some type of connection oremotion or feeling that they
didn't, they're not getting inthe relationship or current
situation that they're in.
And a lot of times when womendo it, the person that they're
(23:54):
having the affair with, theycould be with that person long
term because that is the personthat they made that connection
with.
I mean, sometimes it doesn'twork out and they end up being
with long term because that isthe person that they made that
connection with.
I mean, sometimes it doesn'twork out and they end up being
with other people because thatdidn't work Right, but it took
them away from the unhappinessthat they were in and they think
they realize, oh, there's a,there's something else out here.
You know what I mean.
It's not just what.
(24:14):
It was Right, so, but you'reright, for men it's like that
quick, you know instantgratification, right, and it's
like the notch on the belt typething, yeah, jumping from one to
the other, which is disgustingand so weird to me, like it just
seems like a lot of wastedenergy and time.
Like why Just be alone?
(24:36):
Be alone or be okay with that,yeah.
Or settle down with one person.
That it's kind of like this isso bad.
It's kind of like buying a houselike you're not going to find
the house that checks every box,right.
At one point you're going tohave to find someone that is
just good enough, right, andthat's not settling in my
(24:57):
opinion, but like you're justlike perfect or perfection is
not really attainable orachievable.
I know people who shall remainnameless she's getting loud that
have set the bar so high thatthey can't just do that, do that
(25:26):
.
So, yeah, lower your standards,because you're not going to
find every single thing you wantin a man, right, you have to
see past certain shit and moveon and, at our age, recognize
that if, after everything you'vebeen through, you're still
seeking that been through,you're still seeking that,
you're probably not going tofind it.
Like you have to waver a littlebit and again, I don't want to
(25:47):
use the word settle, because Ifeel like that has like a
negative connotation.
Yeah, but like, you just haveto realize that what it is
you're looking for, what it isyou're after, it's not out there
.
It's you're looking in thewrong places.
No, it's not out there.
Or the common, the thought ofsomething is very nice, oh, 100%
(26:09):
, but it's not realistic.
Hello, the idea of having X, yand Z is amazing, but it's not.
We're experiencing that in realtime with Ben Affleck and
Jennifer Lopez.
Oh, yeah, 20 years ago, oh myGod, they were like the it
couple.
20 years later, I want them tobe together.
(26:29):
I'm rooting for them.
They've been separated sinceapril.
So in her divorce yeah, papersthat she filed, she lists the
date of separation as april.
I know that's a bummer.
Yeah, so they've been separatedfor a long time.
Yeah, but that's the thing.
Sad people, and you think like,oh, 20 years later, they would
(26:50):
have grown up and they're not.
Like, they're a differentperson, they're more mature.
No, like the shit that theywere before is, yes, more mature
.
Like maybe he's a dork, buthe's a more mature dork.
Like maybe he's an asshole orwas an asshole.
He's a more mature asshole andvice versa.
Like, yeah, I'm sad for themtoo, but I'm I really wanted
(27:11):
them to, yeah, work, I like themtogether.
Listen, you don't bring thetrash.
Why they just baby, they justlook so good together.
No, you don't.
You don't go back to your exes.
Yeah, she, he was the love ofher life according to her.
Clearly not.
No, she, he was love of herlife.
He wasn't the love she wasn'tthe love of his life because
(27:34):
he's being a dick.
You don't know that.
I know that maybe it was heldby his that mean mug he always
has that.
No, like, a lot of people sawthis coming, so they were like
drawing references back to herdocumentary that came out on
amazon prime a couple months agoabout the album that she made
for him.
Oh my god, and she hadfacetimed jane fonda and jane
(27:59):
fonda and her were in um,monster in law.
Yeah, and jane fonda, and it'sso, predicted it right, yes, and
they kept it in the documentary.
I forget, like exactly what itwas.
I did see something about that.
But she literally said somethinglike Jennifer, like you just
don't seem like you're in love,or like something like that,
(28:19):
something to that effect.
And she played it off and shewas like no, we love each other,
everything's great.
No, like people knew you wereunhappy, why go through all that
?
Why go through the marriage andall the hoopla and all the this
and that hope and hope and hope?
Listen, they had like twoweddings.
They had like all this stuff,like, yeah, you just hope.
(28:42):
You have this idea of theperson in your mind and it's
just not real.
No, it's not reality, no, no,no, it's not.
Yeah, it's not yep.
So, anywho, do you know thatsome banks in italy accept
parmesan cheese as collateralfor loans?
Fucking, moving there, I'mgoing.
(29:05):
The practice began the miduh20th century in the town of
Reggio Emilia.
How much cheese do I have toput up to get like a house, I
don't know, or a business, buthow much cheese are we talking
about?
Well, I mean, I guess somebanks accept wheels of cheese
(29:27):
and they're stored in awheelhouse, because these wheels
of cheese, the value is atbetween like 900 and 1500
dollars, depending on the ageand quality of the cheese, and
they store these.
They store them until, like, aperson can die with the cheese.
What money, what?
(29:49):
No, it's like, it's like we'll,it's like collateral, like
we'll take your, yourParmigiano-Reggiano cheese until
you can make payment.
I've never heard something soridiculous.
Yeah, it's collateral for, like, small business loans.
In my life, Parmigiano-Reggianowheels of cheese, no.
But you know what this bringsup a good topic, because I was
(30:13):
thinking about this with wine.
Actually, you know how wine,like you let it sit in your
fucking cellar for a gajillionyears and pass it on down to
generations and it's vintage andit's so amazing.
But who fucking decides that?
Like, who cares if this dustyfucking bottle of wine has been
in my family for fuckingcenturies?
Like that seems unhealthy, thatdoesn't seem like I can sell it
(30:36):
for $2,000.
So you're saying this withcheese too.
Like, oh, we're just going tohold fucking wheels of cheese
and they store it in a warehouseand they hold on to it until no
, because it's not, like it'snot increasing in value, like
that's fucking weird whiners.
I might sneeze on the podcast,just letting you know.
May the lord bless you.
(30:56):
So anyways, in us, since 1953,the regional bank of 53, credito
emiliano how many has beenaccepted an annual, unusual form
of collateral for smallbusiness loans massive will of
Parmesan.
That's an old ass, fuckingcheese.
I mean, at this point it's likefucking blue cheese.
That's nasty, it's in a wheel,it's like an 80 pound, and is it
(31:20):
in like a fucking room that'sgonna preserve it and make it?
Fuck off.
That probably costs more thanthe fucking cheese.
It's in a warehouse that theystore it.
All right, I'm going to go tothat warehouse and I'm just
going to eat the cheese.
How about that?
Fuck off, okay, you can eat thecheese, but you know, 80 pounds
of cheese is valued at $900 to$1,500.
(31:44):
So, depending on how much moneyyou owe you to like, bring a
lot of cheese.
Like what?
Yeah, oh my god, one wheel ofcheese doesn't even pay you know
what rent.
If you lived in italy and youhad a loan and you couldn't pay
it, your ass would be bringingfucking wheels of cheese.
(32:04):
Listen, I'm gonna go to italy.
Okay, my cheese and the menthat cheat.
Let's go.
Oh no, why Leave the fuckingmen that cheat at home, because
they all cheat anyways.
We'll just go to the.
A little Mauricio, mauricio, alittle Vincenzo, what you would
like?
An Italian guy?
No, that sounds awful.
(32:24):
Like hair on his chest.
Ew, the one thing.
Oh, oh, my god, hair on hischest.
Oh, no, the one thing.
Oh, oh, my god, widow's peakhair on his chest.
They're the guys that, like theyhave like the button down to
here with the hair bulging out,and it's like why go put a
t-shirt on under there?
Like why don't you have at-shirt on underneath your
(32:46):
button-down shirt?
Or wax you nasty, trim it, likewhat the fuck?
Like?
Oh wait, I've heard aboutsomething recently.
Oh, now I forget the name of itand I was gonna say something.
That's definitely not the nameof it, but it's like this thing.
It's not laser, it starts withthe letter e and electrolysis.
(33:07):
No, I don't know, maybe, but ithas like a lot of tweezers at
once.
What's that?
I don't know.
Okay, more to come.
I just found out about this andit sounds so painful, but I hear
it has my result.
Why would we want that?
Because I hear it has goodresults.
No, we don't want anything withpain has to be pain-free.
Are you talking about, like,red hair removal?
(33:28):
Yes, no, no, yeah, no, you canhelp me out if it has a lot of
little things and it's gonnacause me pain.
I'm done, all right, fine, nope, okay, nope.
So you're looking for a husband?
Yeah, duh, korea, south koreais paying people $38,000 to find
(33:51):
a husband or wife, as long asit's not North Korea, we're good
.
Nope, south Korea, they'regrappling with the world's
lowest birth rate.
Oh well, I don't want kids, Iwant a husband.
I'm not having kids.
They're turning to financialincentives in efforts to reserve
its demographic decline.
Where was this offer four yearsago?
So they want couples to getmarried?
(34:12):
Tie the.
We'll give you 38 000.
Go have some kids to bring upour nope, um, population.
Nope, those days for me areover.
Yeah, no.
So I can't have an italianhusband.
I can't have a south koreanhusband.
No, jeez, how many countriesare there?
Cause I just got too off thelist.
No, and I'm also with Americanhusbands too.
(34:35):
So you're done.
Three countries, you're done.
I think you're just.
Might as well stay by yourselfat this point.
There's more countries outthere.
No, you'll find something wrongwith every single one of them.
I know I have the Seinfeldsyndrome.
Yeah, no, just, yeah, just,just be alone, just be alone.
Okay, that's the name oftoday's episode just be alone.
(34:59):
Thank you for joining us onthis wine build adventure.
We would greatly appreciateyour support.
Please follow and rate ourpodcast on Apple Podcasts,
spotify or wherever you'retuning in right now.
So raise a glass, leave no winebehind, and let's continue this
journey together.
Cheers.
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