12 Days of Giving Day 10: Stop Forgetting What December Cost You

Episode Transcript
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Stoy Hall, CFP® (00:10):
December's kind of chaotic, right?
I mean, we've got holidays,we've got bills, we've got
weather, we've got the markets,and then we have this whole
thing like, Hey, 2026 is gonnabe better or, or the next year
is just gonna be that muchbetter.
But today, Rachel has somethingthat for her personally, by the
way.
Right.
This is a personal thing for herthat she does, and we're gonna
talk through why, how itstarted, how's it going, um, and

(00:33):
steps that you can take toimplement this in your life.
So, Rachel, without further ado,tell us what do you do?

Rachel Duncan (00:39):
Thank you story for having me back on.
By the way, I'll, I will saythere's always weather.
I think, I think, uh, mark Twainsaid that there's always
weather, okay.
About five years ago, it mighthave even been longer, but I
think maybe the first year ofthe pandemic, what I realized
sort of deep into December is,ah, there's all these things.
Oh, I gotta remember to do thisnext year.
I gotta remember not to do thisnext year.

(00:59):
It was a lot of, I need to notdo this again next year.
I think it was like wrappingpresents till one in the
morning, you know, scamperingaround the last minute.
And I was like, why does thisalways catch me off guard?
When it does happen every year,and I think it's just'cause 12
months is a really long time,like we think we'll remember and
we won't, it's like childbirthamnesia or something, you know,
like we just won't remember.

(01:20):
So I was like, I'm not gonnaremember this.
So I started, I actually justlooked on my phone.
I started an annual event, acalendar recurring event on my
phone called Holiday LessonsLearned, and I create it kind of
through December.
But I have, it remind me earlyNovember, so mine pops up about
November 5th.
And so I was just thinking Iwill.

(01:40):
Could I read you the list oflessons that I've learned over
the last five years?
No, this is very specific to me,but I, I wanted to share this
because first off, we we're notgonna remember next year, and I
do think this has helped me bemore intentional and, um, a
little less frenzied and alittle more like, oh yeah, I
learned that the hard way, uh,to remember.

(02:01):
And this is something that Iremind myself.
And then at the end of theholidays, I go back and I update
it so that the next November.
It's sort of updated, so it'snot, and I will talk about
money, but this is more justlike habits and stuff.
Uh, number one, remind Alex totake time off work.
My husband is Alex and he comesfrom a country that doesn't
really celebrate Christmas, sohe, it's not really ingrained in

(02:22):
him, so he does need reminding,and I think I ended up just
putting this on him, but heneeded reminding that like,
actually that's a crazy time.
Like you're not just taking offthe.
25th, the next one.
Um, let's see.
Ah, my husband really loves mindgifts, so, and I am less into
that.
Like, I like doing other things.
I like making gifts and cookingand stuff.
So, you know, kind of likereminding me to kinda sit down,

(02:44):
like we need to sit down andkind of plan gifts and that
that's his job.
Um, I think also it was reminderto me, Rachel is not my job,
it's his job.
So that was very helpful.
Alex and Rachel talk aboutpriorities and values, interest
levels, energy levels forholiday related stuff and
decorating and hosting.
Because it might not be the sameevery year.
Like, Ugh, I'm kind of exhaustedwith this.
Or, oh, could we do somethingdifferent?
Like, I do have to remind myselfto talk to my husband.

(03:05):
I dunno if anyone else is there.
But we live together.
We have a great marriage.
We, we do forget to talk to eachother.
Ah, plan the weekend fordecorating, because that also
always catches us off guard.
We're like, oh, whoops.
It's kinda like we see all theneighbors do it and we're like,
eh, and then we kind of fit itin.
But I would rather, let's put iton the calendar that this date
will be decorating day.
Yep.

(03:26):
Mail presence before the 18th.
Do need a reminder on that.
Um, ah, the other thing, the,the other reason the holidays
are a little bit extra for meand my family is I also host a
New Year's Day lunch, whichhonestly, I really love it is
near and dear to my heart, butlike, that's just a week after
Christmas, right?
So I do need to kind of putthings in place now.
So some of this was, rememberthere's also New Year's, there's

(03:46):
like two events.
Um, so it's like send invites toNew Year's, you know, in early
December.
So that's a big thing for me.
Prepare food day before as muchas possible.
Uh, even things like this.
GE when guests arrive aroundfour dinner, around five kids in
bed by eight.
And that's a little bit wishfulthinking, but I do have to kind
of remember when do we havepeople over?
And that that was a lessonlearned.

(04:07):
I have a feeling that was alesson learned after like a 9:00
PM dinner, you know, um, settable early.
Plan oven time, uh, buy ticketsto the Nutcracker if I can.
I still haven't done it, but Ido remind myself to try to do
it.
Check out the rec center forevents and craft sales.
And then I have a separate notefor my New Year's thing.
So this is just like, it's justthe details in my calendar and I

(04:29):
update it.
And these are like a hard earnedlessons.
And I swear every year it getsbetter because I remind myself
of this stuff.

Now do you do that for different parts of the
year or have you realized likejust the chaos of.
The end of the year.

It's extra for this year for sure, but I do it
for Halloween mostly.
Like how many bags of candy didwe need to buy?
That's usually the big one.
How much candy did we use?
Because every year that throwsus off.
So I think my only note is that,but yes, I do it for, um, for.
Halloween.
Oh, actually, I'm glad youmentioned that.
I also did it for summer becauseI feel like at the end of the
summer, like sometimes we haveregrets.

(05:03):
We're like, oh God, I wish wejust set some stuff up.
Or, you know, so many thingshave to be booked ahead of time.
Um, I do, I think in April Ihave a reminder to plan things
in the summer.
So I just, I think this is soimportant, especially when we
look financially because it isthese annual costs that throw us
off because you know, so much ofo budgeting is based on the
monthly cadence and we cancertainly plan a lot around

(05:25):
monthly.
That's how, where most of ourbills are, there's so many
seasonal things and, and I findthat a lot of my clients have
accumulated debt.
Just based on the stuff thathappens once a year.
Um, so I think the more we can,you know, have more sinking
funds for these annual things,and it might not just be the
holidays.
It could be like summer campsfor the kids, or if you have a
holiday, or sorry, seasonalrelated hobby to have a sinking

(05:45):
fund for those things becausethey catch us off guard.
And you're not gonna rememberthat we have like amnesia about
it.
It's just 12 months is too long.
In between

It is.
And though, and like you said,those things do pop up, but also
we never remember what we spenton them.
Like I, I know.
We'll use the candy for example,like, you know, you buy candy
every year.
How much?
How much was it?
How much do you need?
Right?
Yeah.
Or you know, Christmas, I thinka lot of people will budget for
gifts, but rarely do I ever seepeople budgeting for food.
Yeah.
For they need to travel.

(06:14):
And I don't mean travel in termsof flights and stuff, you're
gonna budget for that.
But it's like traveling aroundaround town to get to shop to do
these things.
You're putting extra stress onthings that isn't normal.
Right.

Right.
I like, I am bringing acheeseboard for Thanksgiving
this year and like that is notpart of, is that part of the
grocery budget or isn't it?
I'm glad you brought that upbecause actually getting ready
for our call.
Here's another lesson learned.
I actually sat down with myMonarch Money app, shout out
Monarch money, and I set up anew category in my non monthly
expense category.

(06:46):
Um, a little Christmas tree.
And what did I call it?
I call it like holidayspecialness.
And I'm really gonna try thistime to like, what was outta the
reg?
Like what is not, you know, if Ican easily, you know, split a
grocery bill, like if we go andbuy a bunch of fancy cheese, you
know, maybe I put that in theholiday specialness'cause that's
not part of our like, regularmonthly, um, groceries.

(07:07):
And maybe I'll put gifts inthere.
Um, yeah.
Special things for parties.
I have like a white elephantgift party.
I'm going to, you know, gettingtickets to some.
Uh, music and, and I'm, I'mreally curious.
I haven't really tracked it likethis, so I'm gonna try that this
year.
Um, and then I'll add that to mylessons learned.
Hey, budget X amount for this,this, uh, these last six weeks

(07:29):
of the year.

Budget it and look out for it because whoa.
Yeah.
Didn't see that coming, thatexercise and, and everyone
listening will have her back onin the beginning of the year
anyway, for multiple reasons.
But we're gonna bring this backup and to see where she landed,
to see how it felt, because Idon't, I think this exercise is
amazing.
I, and I've never thought tohave someone do it, of just the
holidays.
Because we all go over budget.

(07:51):
We all know that's gonna happen,but the reason we do is because
they're, they're one-offs.
They are special things.
There's no way to go intoDecember and just like
automatically inflate all ofyour budget.
Um, and it's

a powerful thing when you have it listed in your
app or however you're trackingyour money, say, in February,
and you're looking through andit's like holiday specialness.
What if I put 50 bucks in it inFebruary?
Right?
And so then, you know, let's trynot to be over budget, you know?
We probably need more in thosesinking funds.
Like I like just having an easysavings account connected with

(08:21):
your checking.
It might not be high interestbecause it's for these annual
things.
Yeah.
You know, for these seasonalthings.
And I have found that being oneof the most financially
empowering things I've done forme and my family and teaching to
my clients and my clientsputting together, oh, that's the
reason I got in debt.

Because it's a big number.
It can

really add up.
Yeah, absolutely.

Big number when you add it up.

Yeah.

Instead

of just like feeling regret and, oh, I should
just hold back next year.
I mean, sure, according tovalues, but also what if it's
simply important to you?
What if you do like me and thisNew Year's thing, it's a, it's
something I love and I buy likea$90 bottle of scotch every
year.
'cause we have this whole scotchdrinking ritual.
It's a whole thing.
So like that's not something Iwanna hold back on.
I actually, that was one of mynotes is what scotch I bought

(09:03):
last year.
Macallan, everyone.
Macallan was the winner.
Um, so, you know, like that'simportant to me.
I'm not gonna go do like bargainbasement for that particular
thing.
So it's like, well let's, let'shelp our future selves out by
throughout the year, ideallyputting a little money into
that.
And of course, it's not alwaysgonna be realistic every month,

(09:23):
but I think having that littlereminder, oh, it feels so good
to have, you know, a little bitset aside so that the holidays
aren't so stressful and aren'tadding to credit card debt.

So you speak of credit card debt?
This is an exercise that Ihaven't done, but I've, I've
spoken to many that have donethis before.
So they have a specific creditcard, and it could be for the
holidays, it could be whateverit, it is a credit card designed
for.
Something, whatever in yourbudget.
It's um, and what they do iseither they've opened a new
credit card, or it's a creditcard they don't use, but it's
designed for this.

(09:53):
They will put payments of, we'llsay 50 bucks a month or whatever
it is in it before they evenspend on it.
So there's a giant credit withintheir credit card.
Now, the reason they do this istwofold.
One, because if it's in yoursavings that's attached to your
checking, it's very easy tojust.
Spend it.
Right?
And it does take a little moreeffort to, to swipe a car.
However, now they also have itbuilt in there and it won't hurt

(10:16):
their credit.
It actually improves theircredit and it sits on there.
Now, some people will be like,well, you're not getting
interest for it.
You're not really gettinginterest in the savings county
there.
So it's not, that's not whatwe're talking about for these
needs because it's

so midterm, you're not getting that much
interest.
Like we're talking six months.
Actually, I have a questionthough.
If you, I've never done that,paid on a credit card that has a
0% balance and it wouldn't e, itwouldn't refund it to you.
It actually keeps it as acredit.

It'll keep it.

Yep.
Now that's a hot tip, everyone.
That's a

hot tip.
Check into your credit cards.
There's certain ones that will,there's certain amount you can
put on there.
Gotcha.
There's there's variables tothis situation.
Yeah.
But then you have that.
Then you can go use your creditcard and then you can.
You can also do that.
So I

like that.
And it's a lot better thanoverpaying your taxes and
getting the refund, but it'skind of a similar idea.
I'm gonna overpay on this to getthe refund.
That's cool.

And then obviously if you end up going
over budget that year, well thenit's on your credit card.
Right?
And it's gonna be a smalleramount, which is something you
can ship away at next year,right?
Or even if you decide to do itthis year and implement it this
year, you might rack that up onthe credit card.
But now that you've done thatmath and it is 50 bucks a month,
start paying down on it.
Right.
And then you can keep ahead andjust use that one for this event

(11:25):
or this, you know, whatever.
It's,

and if there's a way we can think of this, of
either, you know, adding to thecredit card credit or into a
savings account as a monthlybill, right, as a monthly bill,
then we get less thrown off.
You know, I have this, thisexercise where there's.
Whole, I have this huge list ofannual expenses and, you know,
we, we put even a good estimate.
You know, sometimes you don'tknow, it's often about cars,

(11:48):
pets, things like that,holidays, you know, and it's
often at four figures a month onaverage, but you don't know when
it's gonna happen.
And that's kind of the power ofgetting more comfortable,
holding onto a little more moneythan you might think, uh, by the
end of the month.
And just, if you have money,let's say left, and you're
checking at the end of themonth, that's probably because
you had a, none of those randomthings happened that month.

(12:09):
You know?
It's just that like, oh, the cardidn't have a repair.
It's just because, oh, the, the,the dog didn't need surgery or
there wasn't a major holiday.
So, you know, I dunno if youknow about Tiffany.
Alicia, you know Tiffany Cliche?
No, our sister, the budget nea.
Okay.
Her book.
Get good with money is a greatone.
I really recommend it as like apersonal finance 1 0 1 and she
talks about be like a squirrel.

(12:30):
So like in, in the summer,squirrels take all their nuts
and they hide it'cause they knowwinter is coming.
And I use that metaphor a lot.
Like let's say you have a prettynormal month, so then that's
when you store your nuts way forthe winter.
Especially for something likeChristmas or a seasonal thing.
Yeah.
When you have a lower spendmonth, that's when you wanna
save those nuts away and notspend those, or not eat the

(12:51):
nuts.
Love

it.
Love it.
And ultimately everyone whatwe're talking about is yes,
figuring out your budget.
And it'd be great if we put onour calendars when our annual
bills are, but we never do.
It's not a, it's not a normalthing.
Like if you do, we do the bestwe

can.

Kudos.
'cause that's not something Ieven do.
Um, but it's also staying withinyour lane with your budget,
right?
Because.
You're gonna have fat months andyou're gonna have lean months,
and it's what you do in both ofthose months that really dictate
at the end of the year whatoutcome you came up with.
Did we blow our budget outta thewater and now we're in a hole
and we have credit card debt?
Or are we ahead, or we, we hitour numbers exactly where we

(13:24):
want them.
It comes down to making sureduring those fat or lean months
that you are, you're doingsomething correctly.
And I think the, the nut anal,the nut analogy is a great one.
At the end of this episode,we're talking about, Hey, let's
make a list for craziness andchaos of of the holidays.
That way we're prepared for nextyear and this year you're

(13:44):
actually gonna track more of thespending to put away Yeah.
As a budgeted item goingforward.
Yeah.
Where'd this come from?
Right?
Like I, I mean like where didthis, did it just aha to you, or
did you just like start doingit?
Like where did the idea comefrom?

Well, I'm trying to remember.
I don't know if I can rememberan exact aha moment, but
something has reinforced it forme, which was a very good Hidden
Brain episode.
Hidden Brain is a wonderfulpodcast about, um, social
sciences, and it was a, it wasan episode all about our future
selves.
And one thing that happens is,is we.
When we, when we are disengagedfrom our future self, then we,

(14:18):
you know, we're making decisionsin the present moment.
That's totally right.
That's gonna be first.
Your first decision is alwaysgonna be your present moment.
But there is some studies thatshowed that when people kind of
future cast it, right, imaginethemselves in one year, in five
year, in 10 years, they madedifferent financial choices and
even like making a picture ofthemselves in five years or in
10 years.
And this idea that, oh, what I'mdoing now is impacting that.

(14:42):
Person it's you, but youactually treat it like a person
that you are responsible for.
That people start changing theirpresent moment behaviors when
they have a relationship withtheir future self.
I've actually even had a clienttook a photo of herself and had
AI age it five years or 10years, and she printed it out
and put it on her desk.
So like I'm doing this for her.

(15:02):
So I think that even though I'mnot quite sure how I started
this, I think it was me sayingout loud, God, how will I
remember this next year?
And being like, okay, the inneroffice manager and me is like,
put it on the damn calendar.
But science really reinforcesthis is like if we can think of
our future selves as a goodfriend or as you know, an elder
that we're responsible for,then.

(15:22):
We make really, we can make morealigned decisions for that
future person.
Or even I think about, oh, I'mgonna do this for tomorrow.
Me even like you in an hour, oryou in a week.
You know, are there some thingsyou can do right now to take
care of that person?
And there are moments when likethis calendar reminder coming
up, every time I'm like, oh.
Thank you past Rachel that wasso caring of you to remember

(15:44):
that I won't remember.
And so kind of having thisrelationship with ourselves at
different times is a very coolway to, um, set goals and
actually make it real becauseour brains don't really think in
the future.
I mean, sure we can worry aboutthe future and have that anxiety
and stuff, but to think of yourfuture self as a real human
being.
Um, that you are in relationshipwith can be a powerful thing.

It makes so much sense too because we're,
we're naturally wanting tonurture and take care of others.
Like that's just, yeah.
Human beings are naturally thatway.
And when you, like, I'm thinkingabout like any of the things
that we just talked about and ifI was in the moment of like, oh,
I need to do that.
I'm just gonna figure it out inthe present time, I'll just
figure it out for myself.
Like, I'm gonna figure it out.
But if I'm trying to do it forsomeone else, I'm going to plan,
I'm going to make sure it's doneright.

(16:28):
And so by taking that andshifting it from a legitimate
other person mm-hmm.
And it to future self, uh,that's, that's pretty powerful
because we would care more themas a person, then we do care
about our current self.
Now there's layers to that too,that you probably gotta work
through, but at least it's avery easy way to.
To move that forward.

Yeah.
And I think it brings a load of,you know, really Yeah,
self-compassion and stuff.
And if that's something thatyou're wanting to nurture, it
can be a powerful way to do it.
And it's not selfish at all.
It's, I can really put your, putyourself, you know, in, in your
future self's shoes.
So I might ask you story.
Does that give you any ideas?
Like, is there anything that youwould like to help your future

(17:07):
self out with, even like nextweek or next year?
Does it give you any ideas?

Yeah, um, it does.
'cause as soon as you said, Hey,schedule it and, and make a list
of it.
Like our 12 days of giving everyyear there's something new that
pops up that I don't remember orthat I've done before or that I
need to do for next year to makethings more smooth.
Uh, and I always forget and it'salways, there's always an
episode or two that end up beingpast the deadline that I had set
for myself originally.

(17:31):
Because I didn't email enoughpeople soon enough, or I didn't
structure it better for thatyear.
Um, so that's like a big one forme, specifically for the series
we're talking about.
Yeah.
Um, is that next year we, youknow, it's, it's smooth and
we're just trying to smooth thatout every year.
So I will be taking notes andputting in my calendar to remind
myself in July when we startscheduling all of this stuff to

(17:52):
do so.
Oh.

I love that, and it's been an incredible series.
You've also run it really well.
Oh, I have to say story, butyeah, jot down those, you know,
we call'em SOPs or whatever, alittle standing op standard
operating procedure.
Um, and put it on that calendarfor, for popping up whenever it
needs to get started.

For sure.
Well, I appreciate you, um, andeveryone, happy holidays.
Uh, look forward to talkingabout what Scotch Macallan you
picked and what year you pickedthis year.
Also, how this whole exerciseworked out for you.
As well, Rachel and everyonelistening really, truly have a
happy holidays and whateverthing you took from this, if
you're gonna implementsomething, why don't you

(18:27):
comment, let us know what youdecided to do and after the
holidays, how it affected andhow it felt.

I would love to hear those stories too.

Thank you.

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12 Days of Giving Day 10: Stop Forgetting What December Cost You

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