May 28, 2025 • 31 mins
Ever feel trapped in your own box? In this brutally honest episode, Mss Francois (the Multi-talented and Super Sexy powerhouse from Trinidad and Tobago) exposes the immigrant journey nobody talks about—being kicked to the curb with her belongings in garbage bags just months after arriving in America.
She doesn't sugarcoat it: "It sucked. I hated it." But from those black trash bags emerged unfiltered wisdom on building success when nobody believes in you. Discover why strangers often lift you higher than your own family, why your phone contacts list might be sabotaging your future, and how to escape the perfection trap that's killing your progress.
This isn't your typical "work hard and succeed" pep talk. It's a no-bullshit conversation about recognizing when fear of success is more paralyzing than fear of failure, why your team doesn't need to be physically near you to change your life, and how humor can literally heal your body while building your confidence.
Follow Mss Francois: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mss-francois-31350a1b3/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MssFrancois/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mss_francois/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mss_francois Twitter: https://x.com/Mss_Francois?s=09 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheMssFrancoisShow1
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Stoy (00:00):
Welcome to one of the most beautiful queens from Queens,
miss Francois herself.
We got her on, and we are goingto highlight one, how you can
have more confidence inyourself, ladies, right?
We're talking to you also alittle bit about being a
business owner and dealing withall of the headaches we have to
deal with from both being womenor minorities in this world.
Uh, so without further ado, MssFrancois, welcome to the show.
(00:23):
Why don't you give us a littlequick background of where you're
from and how you got to whereyou're at.
Mss Francois (00:28):
Okay, so quick background.
First of all, I have a beautifulaccent in case you all are
wondering.
I'm from Trinidad and Tobago oneof the greatest islands on
earth.
I am presently in the UnitedStates, New York.
I came here in my late teens,have one of those immigrant
stories.
But with that said, a lot ofthings that I focus on is
confidence.
Get into the next chapter, beingyour best self before you enter
(00:49):
into the next chapter of yourlife.
See how short and sweet that is.
I
Stoy (00:53):
love that.
I love that.
And confident too.
Confident too.
What have you found in yourwork?
I guess, let me back uppredominantly, who do you work
with in your work when you'rehelping?
Mss Francois (01:03):
Okay, so when we, to be clear, when we say work,
are we talking traditional nineto five or my business?
No.
Your business, because Godknows.
So with the stuff that I workwith, so first of all, I
definitely follow people that'sin my niche that work with
women, helping them to becomethe best self to the next level.
So people I work with is a lotof different influencers and
(01:25):
different women in business thatI gravitate to and gravitate
towards me.
And in those things I always sayI like to create win-win
situation.
We supposed to be helping eachother, not taking,'cause there's
a lot of takers in the world.
Stoy (01:38):
Yes, yes, there is.
What's, when you go through thisprocess with them, where are
these women at prior to meetingwith you, and then kind of where
do you help them get to in, in arelatively short period of time?
Mss Francois (01:51):
Okay, so first of all, when a, a lot of people, I
deal with people that get inorder relationships or thinking
about entering intorelationships, right?
So most of the people that Iwork with, basically, when you
get outta a relationship.
I always say sometime you lostyour self identity when you're
in a relationship.
So you, you are at the processwhere you're crying and rolling
(02:13):
up in a ball and eating yourselfto death.
It's like really a sad stage.
And the first thing that Ialways tell everybody is that
you need to be there and staythere for a few minutes, not two
to three years, and tell a storyto 10 different people.
But you need to be okay.
And.
Feel what you're feeling becausewe are human.
'cause a lot of people, yourfriends, like to tell you, oh
(02:36):
girl, you need to get on, put onthat outfit and get to, no,
that's you, you, you are puttingyourself into something even
worse.
So it's just be in that momentand feel what you're feeling.
Stoy (02:47):
It's reflecting on like who you are, like, right?
Like you have to feel it.
You have to understand it andtruly what it means to you,
whatever the situation may be.
Obviously, breakups andrelationships hold a more dear
and near to our heart, but thesame thing goes for for
business.
Same thing goes from trying tomake money.
It's if you understand who youare and can reflect on that
emotion, it helps you on thatnext decision.
(03:09):
It helps you on that next step.
Have you found that once that'sunlocked, things are a little
easier?
As it goes,
Mss Francois (03:16):
it's a easier, but when, when it comes to any
relationship and includingbusiness, we all have failures.
Some people say, don't call itfailure, but you didn't succeed.
So technically a fail.
Let's not try to make it fancy,right?
But it's really learning fromall the failures and while
you're going through it.
Does it make you feel good andbe like, yes.
What has this come to teach me?
No.
(03:36):
So you're gonna have to feel it,but when you, honestly, when you
continue to grow, when you lookback, you're gonna see how far
you have come, all the thingsyou, things you have learned.
And even if you decided to pivotin a new business, you get to
take all that knowledge withyou.
And I think that you only seethat when you start to blossom
as you continue to grow andbecome something bigger and
better.
Stoy (03:57):
There's something I talk about almost every podcast and
that ultimately is no one hastheir shit together.
We all have issues, we all havethings going on, right?
No one's like perfect there nosuch thing as a perfect person
with a perfect life.
Do you find that, um, a lot ofwomen and everyone that you work
with specifically in, in thebusiness side feels like they
need to be perfect before theymove on to the next, or the
(04:18):
website has to be perfect or myvoice has to be perfect?
Do you find that that.
I guess that drive to beingperfect actually.
Well, well, of course doesn'tmake against you.
Well,
Mss Francois (04:27):
this is 2025.
First of all, when you look onevery social media platform,
everybody looks perfect.
Some people don't know it's ai,but that's neither here nor
there, but everybody.
Wants to be perfect becauseeverything around you seem
perfect, right?
And it's next to impossible.
I mean, it's so many things thatyou have to get together to put
(04:48):
together, but I think whatpeople fail to realize is the
starting part.
Most people just don't startbecause they think they always
have to do all these things.
And at the same time, you knowhow people like to procrastinate
what someone says, preparedness.
'cause we all like to beprepared is the cousin of
procrastination.
Which I was like, it makes sensebecause you're preparing, but
you're not really doinganything.
(05:09):
You're preparing for what, butyou never launch.
But honestly, it's just startingwherever you are and starting
small.
Because as you get better,you're gonna do better and
things are gonna open up foryou.
But most of us never end upstarting.
Stoy (05:22):
No, it's, it's that fear of risk.
There's some type of fear there.
Have you been able to kind ofhone in on what the majority of
the fear is for those, to takethat, that next step?
Because yeah, being prepared andall of that to me is you do have
to be somewhat prepared.
You gotta know what you'resaying, but right.
If you over prepare, that meansyou're afraid of failing, afraid
(05:42):
of taking the step.
Have you found that, thatthere's like a common theme for
the, the fear part of it?
Mss Francois (05:48):
Um, I mean that's most people, but you know what's
funny?
I have, for me, even personally,fear failure is typical for most
people, but people don't realizethere's also the fear of success
because sometime when you reachthat pinnacle, it's then like,
okay, then what?
You know,'cause I, I kind of,sometime I swivel in both those
(06:08):
things.
'cause I'm like, okay, I'm doingall these amazing things.
Am I supposed to be planning forsomething else?
But for most people it is a fearof failure.
So it's kind of easy to staywhere you are and not do
anything, order the box.
So just stay in the box.
But again, the excitement andthe joy doesn't come inside the
box.
It always comes outside the box.
So it is up to you to be aroundpeople, to push you and push
(06:29):
yourself as well.
Stoy (06:31):
You just said something that's very key, and that is
others to help push you.
It takes a team.
There's not one person on thisplanet that's successful or has
a bunch of money or whateverthat has done it alone.
It is not possible because youneed a team of people.
You need others not only to helpsupport you, you know, actually
what you're doing, but help pushyou and guide you in certain
ways.
(06:52):
Have you, lemme put it this way,have you noticed or have you
seen a trend lately,specifically in the last couple
years of these people trying toget a team?
Or are we getting to a point inour society where we're kind of
like.
Cowering and coming into our ownshell again.
Mss Francois (07:08):
No, people have been getting teams right.
The thing is, it might lookdifferent now than it did
before.
You know, you have all thesefreelance sites and stuff,
people, you can pay a faction ata cost to all over the world.
So I think in a lot of areasit's actually.
Easier to get a team.
They mightn't be next to you orphysical or in person, but it
could be almost anywhere,especially in a digital age.
(07:31):
So, no, definitely to me, peopleare leading towards getting
people initially.
I think it's scary becausepeople like to say, I don't need
money.
But you do need money.
At some point in time, you'regonna need money from somewhere.
Something.
Okay.
There's only so much you coulddo without money.
That shouldn't stop, stop youfrom starting.
But no, definitely.
And team I, I had a book calledit's, it is the me and team.
(07:53):
'cause people like to say,there's no I, but I'm like, you
start with yourself and then youbranch out.
Stoy (07:59):
Yeah.
You ha I mean, that's the onlyway to do it.
It's your passion.
You build it out from there.
I, when people say that too, Isay there's no, we either, so
where do you wanna go with thisconversation?
Right.
Which is, which is hilarious.
That's
Mss Francois (08:09):
good.
I'm stealing that.
Okay, good.
No, I, no, we, alright ahead.
Stoy (08:12):
So let's go back to kind of your story from Trinidad in
Tobago when you were a teenagercoming into New York City.
What did you come in with andwhat was that like?
What did it feel like cominginto
Mss Francois (08:25):
it?
It sucked.
I hated it.
It's the worst experience.
I will not wish that on anyone.
I don't care how you all say.
The, the roads are pa with gold.
They pair with the pitch.
Okay.
And it have lots of bumps.
I, I always say I have, I callit a typical immigrant,
immigrant story'cause mostpeople do not have a positive
story when you transition fromone country to the next, even
(08:49):
with something when you comefrom one state to the next.
But for me, it was really bad.
A lot of times when you comefrom foreign country, your
family that's here or whoever ishere, always say, oh my God,
it's gonna be amazing.
But most of the time they don'ttreat you that nice unless you
come with a bunch of bag of, ora bag of money to give to
somebody.
No, the, the lights on too long.
I staying out too late, it, Ineed to do a bunch of chores
(09:11):
that I've never done in myentire life and it's, take,
take, take, take.
It was really bad to the pointwhere the literary put me all my
stuff out in a black garbage bagoutside the door and I had
nowhere to go.
And I was in this country maybeabout 10 months.
I am clueless and I was raisedin Trinidad.
I was pretty slow because I wasraised as what you all would say
(09:32):
in the country.
We would say in the bush.
So I had, all I know was schooland church, so I knew nothing.
I didn't even know what menlooked like.
I didn't know what a penislooked like.
I never considered whatever, butI was clueless.
So doing that to someone, itkind of sets you back, but it
pushes you forward, right?
So it was not a good experience,but I'm glad at the end of the
(09:53):
day, for me, I ha end up havingstrangers that helped me.
Not the family, not the friends,but strangers.
Stoy (10:02):
It's a, it's a key point whether you are an immigrant or
not.
I don't have that background,but, but I do have being a
minority background, and I feellike we get this misnomer that
friends and family are alwaysgonna be the ones that support
you and are there for you andcommunity, et cetera.
When it really comes down tothere are just certain people in
your life.
That either just are around you.
(10:24):
Um, that, that you, they comeinto your life, you come into
theirs, but there are people inthis world that are actually
closer to you and will supportyou more than your family and
friends will.
And for those that are blind tothink, well, it's just my
family.
I'm gonna do whatever I can for'em always, and they're always
gonna be there for me.
I need you to, to think aboutthis a little bit and go back
and actually look at everyrelationship as the base of a
(10:45):
relationship.
Is there love there?
Is there support there outsideof having the title Love?
Family or friends, because it'scomes to me that a lot of these
conversations I have with guestsis there's always someone on the
outside that has never been inyour circle before, that are the
ones that actually lift you up,bring you up, and are the ones
that allow you to take off tothe heights of your success.
(11:08):
A hundred.
A
Mss Francois (11:09):
hundred percent.
No, a hundred percent because,and one thing I do realize with
family and close friends, as youdis become and you continue to
grow, a lot of times they'restuck in the person you was when
you were 10.
When you were 20, when you were25.
So they don't know who this newperson is.
So a lot of times theydiscourage you, sometimes they
discourage you for in their mindfor the right reasons.
(11:30):
'cause they don't want you toget hurt and fail and all that
stuff.
But at the same time, they, theystomped in your growth.
So other people from the outsidesee the person you are now and
they're like, wow, this personcould go here, there and
everywhere.
Let me assist this personbecause I see the potential, I
see the want, I see the work, Isee the effort.
So that's been, I think, a lotof people's stories and
(11:51):
definitely mine because all thethings that I experienced.
Most of the time since I've beenin this country, has there been
the family trying to push youdown or just not be there for
you?
When Total strangers that I'veknown for maybe two months,
three months, have done so, somuch.
I'm not giving you all any kindof money.
Strangers like, thank you.
(12:11):
Like, thanks.
It's enough.
Stoy (12:15):
I love it.
But it's true.
It, it just is what it is,right?
Being transparent, no bullshit.
Like this is, it's real.
And people out there you arelistening going, yeah, that's my
situation.
So what do you say to those thatare kind of in that similar
situation and mindset wherethey're like locked into their,
oh, my fans and family will takecare of me.
They're gonna support me.
How do you help them get throughthat type of relationship into
blossoming into who really theyare?
Mss Francois (12:37):
So my thing is, keep your family and friends,
right?
Because to me, certain people'sgonna naturally drop off and
you're gonna outgrow themanyway.
That's not even your business.
You continue being who you are.
But at the same time, you'resupposed to be attracting the
people or the new people in yourcircle.
So it's your job and yourresponsibility to put yourself
in certain circles.
You can't just sit one place andexpect all the energy and the
(12:59):
people to just come to you.
So are you joiningorganizations?
For me, I'm part ofToastmasters, something called
Momentum Education, New York,black MBA.
So I'm finding myself incircles.
I'm I'm, and got around peoplein my niche so we can help each
other.
But people sit in one spot andexpect everything to blossom.
And when people see youconstantly growing like that,
(13:21):
and in other circles, some ofthem are gonna hit or you
change.
Okay?
Yes, I have.
And and again, they might wannahang out with you as much.
They might wanna call you asmuch.
Is it gonna hurt?
Yes.
But you'll be all right.
You won't die.
Stoy (13:33):
You won't, you won't die alone.
Mss Francois (13:35):
No, you won't die.
I just hurt.
Your chest.
Might hurt.
Your stomach might hurt, but Imean, life continues Time me.
I, you see, when it comes to mytime, I'm so conscious of what
86,400 seconds is.
A in a day is a reason I knowthat.
'cause I value my time.
So I wanna make sure I'mspending my time with the right
people that's going to inspireme, empower me, and make me go
(13:55):
to the next level.
All those other people, I can'twait.
Let them go live their life, letit go Netflix and chill.
That's their problem.
Stoy (14:02):
What exercises did you go through to, to own and know your
value of time?
Right.
It's obviously, we all knowthis, like time is the most
valuable thing that we have andwe usually blow it and waste it
on energy.
Things that don't need to bedone.
Mss Francois (14:13):
You all do.
Not me, but go ahead.
Yeah, we
Stoy (14:15):
all, I mean, we all do it.
What did you, what exercise orwhat thought process did you go
through to try to, to controlthat more?
I feel like that's one of theweakest things we all have.
So what'd you do?
Mss Francois (14:25):
Well, well first of all, we all go, I'm so busy.
Oh, I don't have time.
Right?
But if you pause for one second,and really you can actually, I
like pen and paper.
This computer stuff, you ain'tgonna remember half the crap,
right?
So pen and paper, really gothrough your day.
What are you doing?
How much time are you on yourphone?
Who are you emailing?
What are you scrolling?
What are you watching?
(14:45):
And you'll see how much time youhave and how you can actually
just change certain things touse the time more wisely.
I like to say using my timepurposefully'cause like what am
I using my time for?
Because even me, sometimespeople say, oh,'cause I'm
scrolling, but maybe some of thepeople you're following, maybe
you should unfollow.
And if you're following certainpeople, make sure it's in the
(15:05):
nature of things that you wantto do and where you wanna
progress in.
Just people are using the, thesame time we all have the same
time, but some people.
Obviously able to use their timemore wisely than others.
That's because some people tooktime to evaluate where their
time is spent.
It's really easy.
Most things are not rocketscience.
We choose to make it rocketscience.
Stoy (15:26):
We do and, and I'll, I'll give a little example.
So my boys, they're 10 and we'llbe eight here in about a week,
and we have a list of chores andjobs they're supposed to do
every day if they actually satdown and did them all.
30 minutes, it would take 30minutes.
Stop.
Right?
And they will go from, they getoutta school at, at 2 55,
they'll get home, three 15, havetheir snack.
(15:46):
It will take them until seveno'clock to get all of these
chores done.
And so I keep pounding the sameexact conversation with them.
Why would you waste all thistime?
You know, you got something todo, knock it out, you get it
done, you're free and clear, butnow you're gonna stress over it
as you want to go do this andyou want to go do that.
And then it's, you know, seveno'clock and we say, Hey, by the
way, you've got four choresleft.
(16:10):
No, just get it done.
So it happens in all of us, evenkids.
Yeah.
Which is hilarious.
Um, so.
Part of what you do is bringhumor into, into, into world,
into the life of everybody,which I think is amazing.
'cause I, I love doing the samething.
Different groups have darkhumor, some are a lot lighter
(16:30):
humor.
It's just all a mixture of, ofthe bag.
When did you find out that like,humor was one your thing?
Two, that it allowed to breakdown barriers and build
relationships.
Mss Francois (16:42):
Okay, so what?
Well, I must say I did notrealize it at all.
'cause this is who I am for mostof my life.
But it's one of those thingsthat they say is your gift, the
thing that you do withoutthinking about it, that comes
easy for you than for otherpeople.
But I think it's other people onthe outside constantly saying,
oh, you're funny.
Oh, you're hilarious.
Oh, I'm saying something simple.
(17:03):
And they're like dying withlaughter and I'm thinking they
are problems.
But when people keep sayingcertain things over and over,
it's for us to pause and reallyrealize that is one of your
gifts.
So that's how I found out whenpeople kept telling me a hundred
times that I'm funny'cause Ididn't think I was that funny.
I was like, honestly, my humor,I guess it's, it is a mixture of
(17:24):
a little, uh, uh, sarcasm kindof, uh, humor.
But at the same time, I was justbeing me and I was just.
Saying things.
I wasn't like, oh, I'm gonnamake somebody laugh today.
Let me think of a joke.
So I would say, thank goodness Idiscovered my gift and other
people helped me discover mygift.
And that's one of the best waysyou could find out what you're
really good at.
Stoy (17:45):
They say that people who are funny naturally don't try to
make right like you had talkedabout.
It's just in you.
They say that is because they,they have internalized and used
that to overcome their owntrauma.
A
Mss Francois (17:57):
hundred percent from the Kevin Harts, they have
all said it, the DaveChappelle's.
Something's really wrong withus.
We went through some ish, so itwas, I mean, it's either you
could succumb to your, all yourtrauma and get depressed and
drag on and look like crap oryou, you turn it around and you
make light of it and honestlyyou get through it so much.
And then even studying andlooking up humor.
(18:18):
The things that it's responsiblefor.
I tell people they couldactually not have to pay health
insurance or pay cheaper healthinsurance if they laugh a lot
more.
It's, I mean, it from theceiling, the sickness to
creating connection amongpeople.
It, it's just so much it, it cando.
It's like the endorphins.
It's, it's a lot.
And if people would just realizethat the world would be a lot
(18:39):
better place or we would dealwith things a little more
better, we would, it eases pain,everything, painkillers, so many
things.
Stoy (18:47):
But I believe most of them can't laugh at themselves and
that's why they can't laughbecause they can't laugh at
themselves and have thisinternal humor, right?
Like I say things and and dosomething, and I'm like, I make
fun of myself.
Like I make myself laugh.
If you can't make yourselflaugh, then I don't think you
value yourself to a degree atwhich you can laugh at other
things and other people.
And internally, that's what'sbad for your health.
(19:09):
That's what's bad for yoursuccess, relationships, et
cetera.
Do you find that like a lot ofpeople just can't.
They internalize, they can'teven laugh themselves.
Mss Francois (19:18):
I, I, okay.
I, I, I would say remember justlike different types of, of
humor, right?
I wouldn't say a lot of peoplefeel funny about laughing at
themselves, but at sometimes youcan laugh at some other people
though.
So I'm like, fine it way fine.
Whatever humor fits for you.
But to me.
People want people take thingsjust so seriously that again, I
(19:42):
am saying something serioushappened this moment, and you
laugh at it two seconds later.
Some things are gonna take time.
So at the same time, you know,be easy with it, but don't
immediately like, oh my God, theworld is over.
Because you're still here and,and days are gonna pass.
I always tell people, don't takeone day at a time.
Take each moment at for eachmoment at a moment.
(20:03):
It, things are so much easierwhen you break them into small
like pieces and chunks, butreally people get over yourself.
It's not that serious.
Stoy (20:13):
Yeah, just get over yourself.
Mss Francois (20:14):
It's not that serious.
Oh, not for someone else.
It'll make you feel better,
Stoy (20:17):
right?
Absolutely.
Let's talk about your show.
So you got a show.
Let, let's dive into it.
Let the folks that are listeningunderstand what your show's
about and what you got going on.
I'm like, which one?
Okay, so all them, I mean, youstart from the top, we'll list
them all out.
Mss Francois (20:30):
So I have two main shows, right?
So it's called the Miss FranShow.
'cause I like myself, I shouldmention MSS stands for
multi-talented and Super Sexy,which is obvious.
And my show basically deal withusing humor to help others with
the dysfunctional relationships.
And it mostly deal with women.
'cause obviously I have thatanatomy.
Yes I do.
And with that, basically I helpwomen who are healing from.
(20:52):
Breakups or exploring newrelationships, rediscover their
self identity so they canconfidently transition into the
next chapter of their life.
But humor is the main focus.
The other show I have is calledCaribbean Brilliance,'cause
again, I'm from Trinidad andTobago and I interview like
business people, people that aredoing amazing things.
I was born in the Caribbean,come up here.
(21:14):
Some people might have gonethrough significant struggles,
some may not.
But the whole point is when theytell their story, they empower
the future.
Present generation, because alot of times when you come from
a small island and a lot ofislands are small, you look at
television or whatever you'rewatching and you think certain
things are impossible.
So when people hear thesestories for people just like
(21:35):
them growing up in the bushes inthe country.
They realize it is possible andthey can do it too.
I mean, we have Nicki Minaj,right?
Trinidadian, we have Rihanna,Bei, like if you hear some of
their stories, you'll be amazed.
So that's what I, I, and, andstill come with the humor, come
with the, the laughter I.
Stoy (21:55):
What brought you into to, to doing those shows?
Like I see the passion behind itand why, but like why the show?
Like why go that route?
Look,
Mss Francois (22:03):
that's easy.
The relationship show is becausemen drive me crazy and I was
going to breakup after breakup.
I mean, as you know, you say youdo the work.
But it was a release for me whenI started my show.
I really didn't care about otherpeople watching.
It was my way to heal'cause Iwas angry, I was frustrated, I
was confused.
And my show has evolved.
(22:25):
It's, and it's, I think 70 yearnow.
So it has evolved from what itwas.
'cause if you watch my firstfour episode, I am one angry
female.
So, so again, I would say that'spart of me just starting where I
was.
Right.
Healing myself.
And I think the first yearanniversary someone had come up,
they're like, how do you feellike you're empowering?
Inspiring other women?
(22:45):
I'm like.
I don't really care about them,right?
Everyone like what?
I'm like, I never thought of it.
But since that person raisedthat question, then I started
seeing what they were meaning,and then I really started to
encompass other people.
So it's honestly from my owntraumas.
And that's I think where a lotof people start businesses and
things from, it's certain thingsthat happen in your life.
So men sucked at the time, butnow they better.
(23:08):
Or maybe I'm better.
And the Caribbean brilliancecame from.
I love my country.
I love who I am.
That's something that couldnever change.
So even if I'm here, I know allthe things that's going on.
I might, I wouldn't say thepolitics side, but Trinidad is
the land of Soca, Calypso steelpan.
Just so you know, it's the lastinstrument that was made in the
(23:30):
20th century.
You're welcome.
For that knowledge.
So I just love from where,where, where my culture and how
it's.
Started and what is happeningnow and how it has changed.
So it is me loving my countryand wanted to know more about
other islands.
So it was me partly wanting tolearn more and getting to know
other people.
(23:50):
And you build so much amazingrelationships when you talk to
people from other Caribbeancountries, it's, and it's
amazing what we can do together.
Stoy (23:58):
I love that.
I really, I know I said it.
I came from a culture thatwasn't just the Midwest.
Um, and those that arelistening, and you're from the
Midwest, you know, we don't havemuch, we've got little, little,
some farms, a lot of corn.
Mss Francois (24:11):
Wow.
Stoy (24:12):
Amazing.
That's what we got around here.
Like, that's our, that's ourhistory.
That's, that's our culture.
I guess the only thing we gotgoing for us in the Civil War
we're, we're in the north, so Iguess we're on the right side of
history.
That's about as about as deep aswe go from like being from here.
Now, if I went to the deep rootsof where my family's from in
Africa, I'm sure I.
Sorry, that would
Mss Francois (24:29):
be a whole different story.
Yeah, it's
Stoy (24:31):
totally different, but we've lost a lot of that just
because we're in America for solong.
Um, so I'm glad you're doingthat and I, I really, truly hope
you never lose your generation,your legacy.
You leave.
Never lose any of that'causeit's something I still earn for,
but it would be totallydifferent to try to go trace it
all back and create it out of,it'll take
Mss Francois (24:48):
a while, but you never know what you might find.
And that might start a whole newpodcast for you, a whole new
journey.
Stoy (24:55):
Hey, you're right, you're right.
So I'm gonna have someone dothat.
'cause I don't think I don'thave time, if you will.
That's
Mss Francois (25:00):
why you have a team.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, yeah.
Stoy (25:03):
Delegation.
Right.
As we get to the end of thepodcast, I always ask two
questions.
Okay.
They, and they can go as deep asyou want them to, but first one
is, what was your first moneymemory?
Mss Francois (25:15):
My first money memory is not having any right.
So I, my and that have to dowith being a kid, like ask,
asking for something or I shouldsay, knowing not to ask for
something.
'cause I know my family neverhad it.
So I think I grew up all into mylate teens, not even asking
(25:35):
anyone because I just assumeeveryone is struggling and no
one had it.
So when you do get some money.
I think initially when I firstget my first paycheck at
McDonald's, right?
That was like$110 or something,you splurge.
Because in my mind, this is thefirst time I had money.
(25:56):
I wanted to do something and getsomething that I can see, like
stuff like investment and savingwas the last thing.
So I think that's my firstmemory of money.
Now.
I do a lot better
Stoy (26:07):
and that's where I was going with this.
Where do you think that memoryand how it's shaped you to now
being an adult who's successfulwith money?
Where do you think that liesnow?
Do you still kind of go back toleaning that way sometimes and
you recognize it?
Or how's that go?
Mss Francois (26:20):
No, I definitely do recognize it because there, I
mean, people say more money,more problems, but that is true
in some sense.
But sometimes it's more money.
What are you gonna do with it?
Because like, you know howpeople always go, I wanna be a
millionaire, but you made maybe60,000 all your life, so how are
you gonna.
Know what to do with a milliondollars.
So I think that's where I amright now.
(26:42):
No one try to rob me, but moremoney I make, sometimes I am
confused to what I should do.
How much risk then older youget, you're considering your
age, you're considering who youleave it to, you're considering
insurance.
So you have so much moreresponsibility than you have a
business than you had toconsider taxes.
I think it's a lot, and this iseven, I was talking to someone
(27:04):
when in reference to doingtaxes.
Knowing the right tax person,someone that knows about
business, to be able to know howto navigate these things.
So it's acquiring some of theknowledge for yourself, but also
hiring the right people thatcould help steer you in the
right direction.
'cause again, you're not anexpert in everything and nor
should you be.
Stoy (27:22):
No, not at all.
And that's why I always preach,turn, uh, team, team, team,
team.
So my, my firm, black Mammoth,we're a modern fame office.
That's exactly what we do forbusiness owners.
We really want to take, okay,this is all the, all the stuff
you got going on.
And as business owners, we haveway too much going on all the
time, is to help educate you andthen lead you and guide you on
the right.
Path with the right decisionsbased upon that.
(27:44):
That way you're not feelingalone.
So I love that you said, Hey,find the right people because
the right people will lead youin the right direction.
So I appreciate that.
Oh, you're welcome.
Alright, so.
What is, so remember we said atthe beginning, I said, this is
whole podcast is designed forpeople to know they're not
alone.
There's other people goingthrough some shit in their life
(28:05):
and we want to be able to leavethem with something.
So what is, uh, an idea,concept, resource or whatever
idea that you can give out thatyou people can take from right
now, write this instance,implement into their lives and
help them on their next step intheir journey.
Mss Francois (28:21):
Okay.
So yeah.
So this is like the beginning.
They're starting something.
Stoy (28:25):
It could be the beginning if you wanted to.
It could be in the middle of it.
It don't matter.
Whatever you want.
Mss Francois (28:29):
So my biggest thing that I realize in life is
how you talked about team,right?
Is really, okay, Jim won alwayssay your five friends.
The average of your fivefriends, right?
And I think people never really.
Think about that statement, theyjust go, oh, that's great.
Yeah, that makes sense.
But they never do.
So I wanna encourage anybodythat's, you know, getting to,
(28:51):
especially when it comes tobusiness and doing something out
of the box that's not typical,really look at your phone and,
and really evaluate thesepeople.
Like the five people.
Who are you calling the most?
Who are you sitting next to ourwork?
Who, who is really in yourcircle really?
Like put it on a piece of paper.
Who is supporting you?
Who is celebrating you?
(29:12):
Who shows up for you?
Because I don't think we do thatenough.
'cause when I did it and Ilooked at one, one person in
particular, I was talking to alot, they were adding nothing.
I'm not saying these people haveto give you something like
tangible, but what are theyadding?
If we, if someone is not addingsomething in your life, they
shouldn't have access to youbecause it's.
Energy that's drained youshouldn't be.
(29:33):
What are you going to dinnerfor?
Why are you on the phone for 30minutes a hour, taking away your
time?
So really take the time toevaluate your friends and place
them in certain categories.
I like to call it my comrades,my confidence, and my
constituents.
Confidence is maybe one or twoin a lifetime.
People don't believe that.
But when I reflect it's one ortwo in your lifetime'cause it's
(29:54):
really a season or for a reasonor a lifetime.
And your comrad is you and thisperson together to go after one
particular goal.
They fall off constituents.
We have many of them.
They look just like yourconfidants.
But they're only in there for acertain period of time.
'cause they hold onto you.
'cause they could only get to acertain distance with you and
(30:15):
then they fall off and do theirown thing.
So really evaluate your friendsand see who's adding to your
life and who is taking away andget rid of them.
Stoy (30:23):
That is, and that is something you can do right now.
So you just heard it, she laidit out, create that list, walk
through it, and really take theexercise to light.
Think about it and think aboutthose people.
'cause just like you had said,there really are only one or
two.
And when you were talkingthrough, I was like, yeah,
there's only like one for me.
So I get you on that one forsure.
But as we wrap this up, wealways ask the same thing from
our audience every time.
(30:44):
And I, I love pounding this.
I need you to comment, I needyou to share this with your
loved ones, not'cause thealgorithm.
I really don't care, give a shitabout the algorithm.
It's because that means I canreach you.
Or Ms.
Sise can reach you or whoeveraround our resources can see
what you're going through.
And if you can't communicate tous, then you're not gonna be
able to get help, and you'regonna be stuck doing what you're
(31:05):
doing over and over again.
But if you can reach out andtake that step, I.
And you find the right personthat's gonna lead you, uh, to
your next step in your journey,whatever that may look like.
So thanks Francois.
I appreciate you coming on.
I appreciate everything thatyou're doing.
I really do look forward tochopping it up later, even more
so about what we do and get youback on.
But what you do is powerful.
Your message is powerful.
(31:26):
Keep doing it.
Mss Francois (31:27):
Thank you.
Welcome to one of the most beautiful queens from Queens,
miss Francois herself.
We got her on, and we are goingto highlight one, how you can
have more confidence inyourself, ladies, right?
We're talking to you also alittle bit about being a
business owner and dealing withall of the headaches we have to
deal with from both being womenor minorities in this world.
Uh, so without further ado, MssFrancois, welcome to the show.
(00:23):
Why don't you give us a littlequick background of where you're
from and how you got to whereyou're at.
Mss Francois (00:28):
Okay, so quick background.
First of all, I have a beautifulaccent in case you all are
wondering.
I'm from Trinidad and Tobago oneof the greatest islands on
earth.
I am presently in the UnitedStates, New York.
I came here in my late teens,have one of those immigrant
stories.
But with that said, a lot ofthings that I focus on is
confidence.
Get into the next chapter, beingyour best self before you enter
(00:49):
into the next chapter of yourlife.
See how short and sweet that is.
I
Stoy (00:53):
love that.
I love that.
And confident too.
Confident too.
What have you found in yourwork?
I guess, let me back uppredominantly, who do you work
with in your work when you'rehelping?
Mss Francois (01:03):
Okay, so when we, to be clear, when we say work,
are we talking traditional nineto five or my business?
No.
Your business, because Godknows.
So with the stuff that I workwith, so first of all, I
definitely follow people that'sin my niche that work with
women, helping them to becomethe best self to the next level.
So people I work with is a lotof different influencers and
(01:25):
different women in business thatI gravitate to and gravitate
towards me.
And in those things I always sayI like to create win-win
situation.
We supposed to be helping eachother, not taking,'cause there's
a lot of takers in the world.
Stoy (01:38):
Yes, yes, there is.
What's, when you go through thisprocess with them, where are
these women at prior to meetingwith you, and then kind of where
do you help them get to in, in arelatively short period of time?
Mss Francois (01:51):
Okay, so first of all, when a, a lot of people, I
deal with people that get inorder relationships or thinking
about entering intorelationships, right?
So most of the people that Iwork with, basically, when you
get outta a relationship.
I always say sometime you lostyour self identity when you're
in a relationship.
So you, you are at the processwhere you're crying and rolling
(02:13):
up in a ball and eating yourselfto death.
It's like really a sad stage.
And the first thing that Ialways tell everybody is that
you need to be there and staythere for a few minutes, not two
to three years, and tell a storyto 10 different people.
But you need to be okay.
And.
Feel what you're feeling becausewe are human.
'cause a lot of people, yourfriends, like to tell you, oh
(02:36):
girl, you need to get on, put onthat outfit and get to, no,
that's you, you, you are puttingyourself into something even
worse.
So it's just be in that momentand feel what you're feeling.
Stoy (02:47):
It's reflecting on like who you are, like, right?
Like you have to feel it.
You have to understand it andtruly what it means to you,
whatever the situation may be.
Obviously, breakups andrelationships hold a more dear
and near to our heart, but thesame thing goes for for
business.
Same thing goes from trying tomake money.
It's if you understand who youare and can reflect on that
emotion, it helps you on thatnext decision.
(03:09):
It helps you on that next step.
Have you found that once that'sunlocked, things are a little
easier?
As it goes,
Mss Francois (03:16):
it's a easier, but when, when it comes to any
relationship and includingbusiness, we all have failures.
Some people say, don't call itfailure, but you didn't succeed.
So technically a fail.
Let's not try to make it fancy,right?
But it's really learning fromall the failures and while
you're going through it.
Does it make you feel good andbe like, yes.
What has this come to teach me?
No.
(03:36):
So you're gonna have to feel it,but when you, honestly, when you
continue to grow, when you lookback, you're gonna see how far
you have come, all the thingsyou, things you have learned.
And even if you decided to pivotin a new business, you get to
take all that knowledge withyou.
And I think that you only seethat when you start to blossom
as you continue to grow andbecome something bigger and
better.
Stoy (03:57):
There's something I talk about almost every podcast and
that ultimately is no one hastheir shit together.
We all have issues, we all havethings going on, right?
No one's like perfect there nosuch thing as a perfect person
with a perfect life.
Do you find that, um, a lot ofwomen and everyone that you work
with specifically in, in thebusiness side feels like they
need to be perfect before theymove on to the next, or the
(04:18):
website has to be perfect or myvoice has to be perfect?
Do you find that that.
I guess that drive to beingperfect actually.
Well, well, of course doesn'tmake against you.
Well,
Mss Francois (04:27):
this is 2025.
First of all, when you look onevery social media platform,
everybody looks perfect.
Some people don't know it's ai,but that's neither here nor
there, but everybody.
Wants to be perfect becauseeverything around you seem
perfect, right?
And it's next to impossible.
I mean, it's so many things thatyou have to get together to put
(04:48):
together, but I think whatpeople fail to realize is the
starting part.
Most people just don't startbecause they think they always
have to do all these things.
And at the same time, you knowhow people like to procrastinate
what someone says, preparedness.
'cause we all like to beprepared is the cousin of
procrastination.
Which I was like, it makes sensebecause you're preparing, but
you're not really doinganything.
(05:09):
You're preparing for what, butyou never launch.
But honestly, it's just startingwherever you are and starting
small.
Because as you get better,you're gonna do better and
things are gonna open up foryou.
But most of us never end upstarting.
Stoy (05:22):
No, it's, it's that fear of risk.
There's some type of fear there.
Have you been able to kind ofhone in on what the majority of
the fear is for those, to takethat, that next step?
Because yeah, being prepared andall of that to me is you do have
to be somewhat prepared.
You gotta know what you'resaying, but right.
If you over prepare, that meansyou're afraid of failing, afraid
(05:42):
of taking the step.
Have you found that, thatthere's like a common theme for
the, the fear part of it?
Mss Francois (05:48):
Um, I mean that's most people, but you know what's
funny?
I have, for me, even personally,fear failure is typical for most
people, but people don't realizethere's also the fear of success
because sometime when you reachthat pinnacle, it's then like,
okay, then what?
You know,'cause I, I kind of,sometime I swivel in both those
(06:08):
things.
'cause I'm like, okay, I'm doingall these amazing things.
Am I supposed to be planning forsomething else?
But for most people it is a fearof failure.
So it's kind of easy to staywhere you are and not do
anything, order the box.
So just stay in the box.
But again, the excitement andthe joy doesn't come inside the
box.
It always comes outside the box.
So it is up to you to be aroundpeople, to push you and push
(06:29):
yourself as well.
Stoy (06:31):
You just said something that's very key, and that is
others to help push you.
It takes a team.
There's not one person on thisplanet that's successful or has
a bunch of money or whateverthat has done it alone.
It is not possible because youneed a team of people.
You need others not only to helpsupport you, you know, actually
what you're doing, but help pushyou and guide you in certain
ways.
(06:52):
Have you, lemme put it this way,have you noticed or have you
seen a trend lately,specifically in the last couple
years of these people trying toget a team?
Or are we getting to a point inour society where we're kind of
like.
Cowering and coming into our ownshell again.
Mss Francois (07:08):
No, people have been getting teams right.
The thing is, it might lookdifferent now than it did
before.
You know, you have all thesefreelance sites and stuff,
people, you can pay a faction ata cost to all over the world.
So I think in a lot of areasit's actually.
Easier to get a team.
They mightn't be next to you orphysical or in person, but it
could be almost anywhere,especially in a digital age.
(07:31):
So, no, definitely to me, peopleare leading towards getting
people initially.
I think it's scary becausepeople like to say, I don't need
money.
But you do need money.
At some point in time, you'regonna need money from somewhere.
Something.
Okay.
There's only so much you coulddo without money.
That shouldn't stop, stop youfrom starting.
But no, definitely.
And team I, I had a book calledit's, it is the me and team.
(07:53):
'cause people like to say,there's no I, but I'm like, you
start with yourself and then youbranch out.
Stoy (07:59):
Yeah.
You ha I mean, that's the onlyway to do it.
It's your passion.
You build it out from there.
I, when people say that too, Isay there's no, we either, so
where do you wanna go with thisconversation?
Right.
Which is, which is hilarious.
That's
Mss Francois (08:09):
good.
I'm stealing that.
Okay, good.
No, I, no, we, alright ahead.
Stoy (08:12):
So let's go back to kind of your story from Trinidad in
Tobago when you were a teenagercoming into New York City.
What did you come in with andwhat was that like?
What did it feel like cominginto
Mss Francois (08:25):
it?
It sucked.
I hated it.
It's the worst experience.
I will not wish that on anyone.
I don't care how you all say.
The, the roads are pa with gold.
They pair with the pitch.
Okay.
And it have lots of bumps.
I, I always say I have, I callit a typical immigrant,
immigrant story'cause mostpeople do not have a positive
story when you transition fromone country to the next, even
(08:49):
with something when you comefrom one state to the next.
But for me, it was really bad.
A lot of times when you comefrom foreign country, your
family that's here or whoever ishere, always say, oh my God,
it's gonna be amazing.
But most of the time they don'ttreat you that nice unless you
come with a bunch of bag of, ora bag of money to give to
somebody.
No, the, the lights on too long.
I staying out too late, it, Ineed to do a bunch of chores
(09:11):
that I've never done in myentire life and it's, take,
take, take, take.
It was really bad to the pointwhere the literary put me all my
stuff out in a black garbage bagoutside the door and I had
nowhere to go.
And I was in this country maybeabout 10 months.
I am clueless and I was raisedin Trinidad.
I was pretty slow because I wasraised as what you all would say
(09:32):
in the country.
We would say in the bush.
So I had, all I know was schooland church, so I knew nothing.
I didn't even know what menlooked like.
I didn't know what a penislooked like.
I never considered whatever, butI was clueless.
So doing that to someone, itkind of sets you back, but it
pushes you forward, right?
So it was not a good experience,but I'm glad at the end of the
(09:53):
day, for me, I ha end up havingstrangers that helped me.
Not the family, not the friends,but strangers.
Stoy (10:02):
It's a, it's a key point whether you are an immigrant or
not.
I don't have that background,but, but I do have being a
minority background, and I feellike we get this misnomer that
friends and family are alwaysgonna be the ones that support
you and are there for you andcommunity, et cetera.
When it really comes down tothere are just certain people in
your life.
That either just are around you.
(10:24):
Um, that, that you, they comeinto your life, you come into
theirs, but there are people inthis world that are actually
closer to you and will supportyou more than your family and
friends will.
And for those that are blind tothink, well, it's just my
family.
I'm gonna do whatever I can for'em always, and they're always
gonna be there for me.
I need you to, to think aboutthis a little bit and go back
and actually look at everyrelationship as the base of a
(10:45):
relationship.
Is there love there?
Is there support there outsideof having the title Love?
Family or friends, because it'scomes to me that a lot of these
conversations I have with guestsis there's always someone on the
outside that has never been inyour circle before, that are the
ones that actually lift you up,bring you up, and are the ones
that allow you to take off tothe heights of your success.
(11:08):
A hundred.
A
Mss Francois (11:09):
hundred percent.
No, a hundred percent because,and one thing I do realize with
family and close friends, as youdis become and you continue to
grow, a lot of times they'restuck in the person you was when
you were 10.
When you were 20, when you were25.
So they don't know who this newperson is.
So a lot of times theydiscourage you, sometimes they
discourage you for in their mindfor the right reasons.
(11:30):
'cause they don't want you toget hurt and fail and all that
stuff.
But at the same time, they, theystomped in your growth.
So other people from the outsidesee the person you are now and
they're like, wow, this personcould go here, there and
everywhere.
Let me assist this personbecause I see the potential, I
see the want, I see the work, Isee the effort.
So that's been, I think, a lotof people's stories and
(11:51):
definitely mine because all thethings that I experienced.
Most of the time since I've beenin this country, has there been
the family trying to push youdown or just not be there for
you?
When Total strangers that I'veknown for maybe two months,
three months, have done so, somuch.
I'm not giving you all any kindof money.
Strangers like, thank you.
(12:11):
Like, thanks.
It's enough.
Stoy (12:15):
I love it.
But it's true.
It, it just is what it is,right?
Being transparent, no bullshit.
Like this is, it's real.
And people out there you arelistening going, yeah, that's my
situation.
So what do you say to those thatare kind of in that similar
situation and mindset wherethey're like locked into their,
oh, my fans and family will takecare of me.
They're gonna support me.
How do you help them get throughthat type of relationship into
blossoming into who really theyare?
Mss Francois (12:37):
So my thing is, keep your family and friends,
right?
Because to me, certain people'sgonna naturally drop off and
you're gonna outgrow themanyway.
That's not even your business.
You continue being who you are.
But at the same time, you'resupposed to be attracting the
people or the new people in yourcircle.
So it's your job and yourresponsibility to put yourself
in certain circles.
You can't just sit one place andexpect all the energy and the
(12:59):
people to just come to you.
So are you joiningorganizations?
For me, I'm part ofToastmasters, something called
Momentum Education, New York,black MBA.
So I'm finding myself incircles.
I'm I'm, and got around peoplein my niche so we can help each
other.
But people sit in one spot andexpect everything to blossom.
And when people see youconstantly growing like that,
(13:21):
and in other circles, some ofthem are gonna hit or you
change.
Okay?
Yes, I have.
And and again, they might wannahang out with you as much.
They might wanna call you asmuch.
Is it gonna hurt?
Yes.
But you'll be all right.
You won't die.
Stoy (13:33):
You won't, you won't die alone.
Mss Francois (13:35):
No, you won't die.
I just hurt.
Your chest.
Might hurt.
Your stomach might hurt, but Imean, life continues Time me.
I, you see, when it comes to mytime, I'm so conscious of what
86,400 seconds is.
A in a day is a reason I knowthat.
'cause I value my time.
So I wanna make sure I'mspending my time with the right
people that's going to inspireme, empower me, and make me go
(13:55):
to the next level.
All those other people, I can'twait.
Let them go live their life, letit go Netflix and chill.
That's their problem.
Stoy (14:02):
What exercises did you go through to, to own and know your
value of time?
Right.
It's obviously, we all knowthis, like time is the most
valuable thing that we have andwe usually blow it and waste it
on energy.
Things that don't need to bedone.
Mss Francois (14:13):
You all do.
Not me, but go ahead.
Yeah, we
Stoy (14:15):
all, I mean, we all do it.
What did you, what exercise orwhat thought process did you go
through to try to, to controlthat more?
I feel like that's one of theweakest things we all have.
So what'd you do?
Mss Francois (14:25):
Well, well first of all, we all go, I'm so busy.
Oh, I don't have time.
Right?
But if you pause for one second,and really you can actually, I
like pen and paper.
This computer stuff, you ain'tgonna remember half the crap,
right?
So pen and paper, really gothrough your day.
What are you doing?
How much time are you on yourphone?
Who are you emailing?
What are you scrolling?
What are you watching?
(14:45):
And you'll see how much time youhave and how you can actually
just change certain things touse the time more wisely.
I like to say using my timepurposefully'cause like what am
I using my time for?
Because even me, sometimespeople say, oh,'cause I'm
scrolling, but maybe some of thepeople you're following, maybe
you should unfollow.
And if you're following certainpeople, make sure it's in the
(15:05):
nature of things that you wantto do and where you wanna
progress in.
Just people are using the, thesame time we all have the same
time, but some people.
Obviously able to use their timemore wisely than others.
That's because some people tooktime to evaluate where their
time is spent.
It's really easy.
Most things are not rocketscience.
We choose to make it rocketscience.
Stoy (15:26):
We do and, and I'll, I'll give a little example.
So my boys, they're 10 and we'llbe eight here in about a week,
and we have a list of chores andjobs they're supposed to do
every day if they actually satdown and did them all.
30 minutes, it would take 30minutes.
Stop.
Right?
And they will go from, they getoutta school at, at 2 55,
they'll get home, three 15, havetheir snack.
(15:46):
It will take them until seveno'clock to get all of these
chores done.
And so I keep pounding the sameexact conversation with them.
Why would you waste all thistime?
You know, you got something todo, knock it out, you get it
done, you're free and clear, butnow you're gonna stress over it
as you want to go do this andyou want to go do that.
And then it's, you know, seveno'clock and we say, Hey, by the
way, you've got four choresleft.
(16:10):
No, just get it done.
So it happens in all of us, evenkids.
Yeah.
Which is hilarious.
Um, so.
Part of what you do is bringhumor into, into, into world,
into the life of everybody,which I think is amazing.
'cause I, I love doing the samething.
Different groups have darkhumor, some are a lot lighter
(16:30):
humor.
It's just all a mixture of, ofthe bag.
When did you find out that like,humor was one your thing?
Two, that it allowed to breakdown barriers and build
relationships.
Mss Francois (16:42):
Okay, so what?
Well, I must say I did notrealize it at all.
'cause this is who I am for mostof my life.
But it's one of those thingsthat they say is your gift, the
thing that you do withoutthinking about it, that comes
easy for you than for otherpeople.
But I think it's other people onthe outside constantly saying,
oh, you're funny.
Oh, you're hilarious.
Oh, I'm saying something simple.
(17:03):
And they're like dying withlaughter and I'm thinking they
are problems.
But when people keep sayingcertain things over and over,
it's for us to pause and reallyrealize that is one of your
gifts.
So that's how I found out whenpeople kept telling me a hundred
times that I'm funny'cause Ididn't think I was that funny.
I was like, honestly, my humor,I guess it's, it is a mixture of
(17:24):
a little, uh, uh, sarcasm kindof, uh, humor.
But at the same time, I was justbeing me and I was just.
Saying things.
I wasn't like, oh, I'm gonnamake somebody laugh today.
Let me think of a joke.
So I would say, thank goodness Idiscovered my gift and other
people helped me discover mygift.
And that's one of the best waysyou could find out what you're
really good at.
Stoy (17:45):
They say that people who are funny naturally don't try to
make right like you had talkedabout.
It's just in you.
They say that is because they,they have internalized and used
that to overcome their owntrauma.
A
Mss Francois (17:57):
hundred percent from the Kevin Harts, they have
all said it, the DaveChappelle's.
Something's really wrong withus.
We went through some ish, so itwas, I mean, it's either you
could succumb to your, all yourtrauma and get depressed and
drag on and look like crap oryou, you turn it around and you
make light of it and honestlyyou get through it so much.
And then even studying andlooking up humor.
(18:18):
The things that it's responsiblefor.
I tell people they couldactually not have to pay health
insurance or pay cheaper healthinsurance if they laugh a lot
more.
It's, I mean, it from theceiling, the sickness to
creating connection amongpeople.
It, it's just so much it, it cando.
It's like the endorphins.
It's, it's a lot.
And if people would just realizethat the world would be a lot
(18:39):
better place or we would dealwith things a little more
better, we would, it eases pain,everything, painkillers, so many
things.
Stoy (18:47):
But I believe most of them can't laugh at themselves and
that's why they can't laughbecause they can't laugh at
themselves and have thisinternal humor, right?
Like I say things and and dosomething, and I'm like, I make
fun of myself.
Like I make myself laugh.
If you can't make yourselflaugh, then I don't think you
value yourself to a degree atwhich you can laugh at other
things and other people.
And internally, that's what'sbad for your health.
(19:09):
That's what's bad for yoursuccess, relationships, et
cetera.
Do you find that like a lot ofpeople just can't.
They internalize, they can'teven laugh themselves.
Mss Francois (19:18):
I, I, okay.
I, I, I would say remember justlike different types of, of
humor, right?
I wouldn't say a lot of peoplefeel funny about laughing at
themselves, but at sometimes youcan laugh at some other people
though.
So I'm like, fine it way fine.
Whatever humor fits for you.
But to me.
People want people take thingsjust so seriously that again, I
(19:42):
am saying something serioushappened this moment, and you
laugh at it two seconds later.
Some things are gonna take time.
So at the same time, you know,be easy with it, but don't
immediately like, oh my God, theworld is over.
Because you're still here and,and days are gonna pass.
I always tell people, don't takeone day at a time.
Take each moment at for eachmoment at a moment.
(20:03):
It, things are so much easierwhen you break them into small
like pieces and chunks, butreally people get over yourself.
It's not that serious.
Stoy (20:13):
Yeah, just get over yourself.
Mss Francois (20:14):
It's not that serious.
Oh, not for someone else.
It'll make you feel better,
Stoy (20:17):
right?
Absolutely.
Let's talk about your show.
So you got a show.
Let, let's dive into it.
Let the folks that are listeningunderstand what your show's
about and what you got going on.
I'm like, which one?
Okay, so all them, I mean, youstart from the top, we'll list
them all out.
Mss Francois (20:30):
So I have two main shows, right?
So it's called the Miss FranShow.
'cause I like myself, I shouldmention MSS stands for
multi-talented and Super Sexy,which is obvious.
And my show basically deal withusing humor to help others with
the dysfunctional relationships.
And it mostly deal with women.
'cause obviously I have thatanatomy.
Yes I do.
And with that, basically I helpwomen who are healing from.
(20:52):
Breakups or exploring newrelationships, rediscover their
self identity so they canconfidently transition into the
next chapter of their life.
But humor is the main focus.
The other show I have is calledCaribbean Brilliance,'cause
again, I'm from Trinidad andTobago and I interview like
business people, people that aredoing amazing things.
I was born in the Caribbean,come up here.
(21:14):
Some people might have gonethrough significant struggles,
some may not.
But the whole point is when theytell their story, they empower
the future.
Present generation, because alot of times when you come from
a small island and a lot ofislands are small, you look at
television or whatever you'rewatching and you think certain
things are impossible.
So when people hear thesestories for people just like
(21:35):
them growing up in the bushes inthe country.
They realize it is possible andthey can do it too.
I mean, we have Nicki Minaj,right?
Trinidadian, we have Rihanna,Bei, like if you hear some of
their stories, you'll be amazed.
So that's what I, I, and, andstill come with the humor, come
with the, the laughter I.
Stoy (21:55):
What brought you into to, to doing those shows?
Like I see the passion behind itand why, but like why the show?
Like why go that route?
Look,
Mss Francois (22:03):
that's easy.
The relationship show is becausemen drive me crazy and I was
going to breakup after breakup.
I mean, as you know, you say youdo the work.
But it was a release for me whenI started my show.
I really didn't care about otherpeople watching.
It was my way to heal'cause Iwas angry, I was frustrated, I
was confused.
And my show has evolved.
(22:25):
It's, and it's, I think 70 yearnow.
So it has evolved from what itwas.
'cause if you watch my firstfour episode, I am one angry
female.
So, so again, I would say that'spart of me just starting where I
was.
Right.
Healing myself.
And I think the first yearanniversary someone had come up,
they're like, how do you feellike you're empowering?
Inspiring other women?
(22:45):
I'm like.
I don't really care about them,right?
Everyone like what?
I'm like, I never thought of it.
But since that person raisedthat question, then I started
seeing what they were meaning,and then I really started to
encompass other people.
So it's honestly from my owntraumas.
And that's I think where a lotof people start businesses and
things from, it's certain thingsthat happen in your life.
So men sucked at the time, butnow they better.
(23:08):
Or maybe I'm better.
And the Caribbean brilliancecame from.
I love my country.
I love who I am.
That's something that couldnever change.
So even if I'm here, I know allthe things that's going on.
I might, I wouldn't say thepolitics side, but Trinidad is
the land of Soca, Calypso steelpan.
Just so you know, it's the lastinstrument that was made in the
(23:30):
20th century.
You're welcome.
For that knowledge.
So I just love from where,where, where my culture and how
it's.
Started and what is happeningnow and how it has changed.
So it is me loving my countryand wanted to know more about
other islands.
So it was me partly wanting tolearn more and getting to know
other people.
(23:50):
And you build so much amazingrelationships when you talk to
people from other Caribbeancountries, it's, and it's
amazing what we can do together.
Stoy (23:58):
I love that.
I really, I know I said it.
I came from a culture thatwasn't just the Midwest.
Um, and those that arelistening, and you're from the
Midwest, you know, we don't havemuch, we've got little, little,
some farms, a lot of corn.
Mss Francois (24:11):
Wow.
Stoy (24:12):
Amazing.
That's what we got around here.
Like, that's our, that's ourhistory.
That's, that's our culture.
I guess the only thing we gotgoing for us in the Civil War
we're, we're in the north, so Iguess we're on the right side of
history.
That's about as about as deep aswe go from like being from here.
Now, if I went to the deep rootsof where my family's from in
Africa, I'm sure I.
Sorry, that would
Mss Francois (24:29):
be a whole different story.
Yeah, it's
Stoy (24:31):
totally different, but we've lost a lot of that just
because we're in America for solong.
Um, so I'm glad you're doingthat and I, I really, truly hope
you never lose your generation,your legacy.
You leave.
Never lose any of that'causeit's something I still earn for,
but it would be totallydifferent to try to go trace it
all back and create it out of,it'll take
Mss Francois (24:48):
a while, but you never know what you might find.
And that might start a whole newpodcast for you, a whole new
journey.
Stoy (24:55):
Hey, you're right, you're right.
So I'm gonna have someone dothat.
'cause I don't think I don'thave time, if you will.
That's
Mss Francois (25:00):
why you have a team.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, yeah.
Stoy (25:03):
Delegation.
Right.
As we get to the end of thepodcast, I always ask two
questions.
Okay.
They, and they can go as deep asyou want them to, but first one
is, what was your first moneymemory?
Mss Francois (25:15):
My first money memory is not having any right.
So I, my and that have to dowith being a kid, like ask,
asking for something or I shouldsay, knowing not to ask for
something.
'cause I know my family neverhad it.
So I think I grew up all into mylate teens, not even asking
(25:35):
anyone because I just assumeeveryone is struggling and no
one had it.
So when you do get some money.
I think initially when I firstget my first paycheck at
McDonald's, right?
That was like$110 or something,you splurge.
Because in my mind, this is thefirst time I had money.
(25:56):
I wanted to do something and getsomething that I can see, like
stuff like investment and savingwas the last thing.
So I think that's my firstmemory of money.
Now.
I do a lot better
Stoy (26:07):
and that's where I was going with this.
Where do you think that memoryand how it's shaped you to now
being an adult who's successfulwith money?
Where do you think that liesnow?
Do you still kind of go back toleaning that way sometimes and
you recognize it?
Or how's that go?
Mss Francois (26:20):
No, I definitely do recognize it because there, I
mean, people say more money,more problems, but that is true
in some sense.
But sometimes it's more money.
What are you gonna do with it?
Because like, you know howpeople always go, I wanna be a
millionaire, but you made maybe60,000 all your life, so how are
you gonna.
Know what to do with a milliondollars.
So I think that's where I amright now.
(26:42):
No one try to rob me, but moremoney I make, sometimes I am
confused to what I should do.
How much risk then older youget, you're considering your
age, you're considering who youleave it to, you're considering
insurance.
So you have so much moreresponsibility than you have a
business than you had toconsider taxes.
I think it's a lot, and this iseven, I was talking to someone
(27:04):
when in reference to doingtaxes.
Knowing the right tax person,someone that knows about
business, to be able to know howto navigate these things.
So it's acquiring some of theknowledge for yourself, but also
hiring the right people thatcould help steer you in the
right direction.
'cause again, you're not anexpert in everything and nor
should you be.
Stoy (27:22):
No, not at all.
And that's why I always preach,turn, uh, team, team, team,
team.
So my, my firm, black Mammoth,we're a modern fame office.
That's exactly what we do forbusiness owners.
We really want to take, okay,this is all the, all the stuff
you got going on.
And as business owners, we haveway too much going on all the
time, is to help educate you andthen lead you and guide you on
the right.
Path with the right decisionsbased upon that.
(27:44):
That way you're not feelingalone.
So I love that you said, Hey,find the right people because
the right people will lead youin the right direction.
So I appreciate that.
Oh, you're welcome.
Alright, so.
What is, so remember we said atthe beginning, I said, this is
whole podcast is designed forpeople to know they're not
alone.
There's other people goingthrough some shit in their life
(28:05):
and we want to be able to leavethem with something.
So what is, uh, an idea,concept, resource or whatever
idea that you can give out thatyou people can take from right
now, write this instance,implement into their lives and
help them on their next step intheir journey.
Mss Francois (28:21):
Okay.
So yeah.
So this is like the beginning.
They're starting something.
Stoy (28:25):
It could be the beginning if you wanted to.
It could be in the middle of it.
It don't matter.
Whatever you want.
Mss Francois (28:29):
So my biggest thing that I realize in life is
how you talked about team,right?
Is really, okay, Jim won alwayssay your five friends.
The average of your fivefriends, right?
And I think people never really.
Think about that statement, theyjust go, oh, that's great.
Yeah, that makes sense.
But they never do.
So I wanna encourage anybodythat's, you know, getting to,
(28:51):
especially when it comes tobusiness and doing something out
of the box that's not typical,really look at your phone and,
and really evaluate thesepeople.
Like the five people.
Who are you calling the most?
Who are you sitting next to ourwork?
Who, who is really in yourcircle really?
Like put it on a piece of paper.
Who is supporting you?
Who is celebrating you?
(29:12):
Who shows up for you?
Because I don't think we do thatenough.
'cause when I did it and Ilooked at one, one person in
particular, I was talking to alot, they were adding nothing.
I'm not saying these people haveto give you something like
tangible, but what are theyadding?
If we, if someone is not addingsomething in your life, they
shouldn't have access to youbecause it's.
Energy that's drained youshouldn't be.
(29:33):
What are you going to dinnerfor?
Why are you on the phone for 30minutes a hour, taking away your
time?
So really take the time toevaluate your friends and place
them in certain categories.
I like to call it my comrades,my confidence, and my
constituents.
Confidence is maybe one or twoin a lifetime.
People don't believe that.
But when I reflect it's one ortwo in your lifetime'cause it's
(29:54):
really a season or for a reasonor a lifetime.
And your comrad is you and thisperson together to go after one
particular goal.
They fall off constituents.
We have many of them.
They look just like yourconfidants.
But they're only in there for acertain period of time.
'cause they hold onto you.
'cause they could only get to acertain distance with you and
(30:15):
then they fall off and do theirown thing.
So really evaluate your friendsand see who's adding to your
life and who is taking away andget rid of them.
Stoy (30:23):
That is, and that is something you can do right now.
So you just heard it, she laidit out, create that list, walk
through it, and really take theexercise to light.
Think about it and think aboutthose people.
'cause just like you had said,there really are only one or
two.
And when you were talkingthrough, I was like, yeah,
there's only like one for me.
So I get you on that one forsure.
But as we wrap this up, wealways ask the same thing from
our audience every time.
(30:44):
And I, I love pounding this.
I need you to comment, I needyou to share this with your
loved ones, not'cause thealgorithm.
I really don't care, give a shitabout the algorithm.
It's because that means I canreach you.
Or Ms.
Sise can reach you or whoeveraround our resources can see
what you're going through.
And if you can't communicate tous, then you're not gonna be
able to get help, and you'regonna be stuck doing what you're
(31:05):
doing over and over again.
But if you can reach out andtake that step, I.
And you find the right personthat's gonna lead you, uh, to
your next step in your journey,whatever that may look like.
So thanks Francois.
I appreciate you coming on.
I appreciate everything thatyou're doing.
I really do look forward tochopping it up later, even more
so about what we do and get youback on.
But what you do is powerful.
Your message is powerful.
(31:26):
Keep doing it.
Mss Francois (31:27):
Thank you.
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