Parenting Truths No One Says Out Loud | Let’s Get Real Ep. 25

Parenting isn’t content. It’s real life. It’s loud, messy, exhausting, and worth every ounce of you. In this episode of Let’s Get Real, I talk honestly about back-to-school chaos, youth sports pressure, and the money choices that actually build a family you’re proud of. We get into why “perfect parent” is a trap, how to use the 18 summers mindset without panicking, and what coaching football keeps teaching me about raising boys who become solid men.

In this episode:

• The lie of perfect parenting and what to do instead
• Youth sports as a classroom for character, not clout
• Coach less, cheer more, and let kids be kids
• Spending with values so your money matches your priorities
• How to quiet the survival voice and make better decisions

Watch the full video: https://youtu.be/tg44sMFwSyM

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Episode Transcript

Speaker (00:00):
Parenting is hard, real hard.
Actually.
I saw that today from someone Ifollow on Twitter and, and John,
you were like, parenting isreally hard.
It's tough.
Boys went back to school today.
I know when you see this, itwon't be Monday, but they went
back on Monday and we went outto lunch and we ran into some of
our other friends having lunchand we all chatted about the

(00:21):
same thing like Parenting's.
Hard question was, did youenjoy?
Them going back to school orwere you sad shit, enjoyed it.
Quiet, being able to do what youneed to do and get it done.
Not worrying about where they'reat, um, kicking'em off, you
know, their, uh, phones andstuff and making sure they're
out doing stuff like.

(00:42):
It just, it's just so difficult.
But at the same time, we miss itAt the same time, we, we focus
on those memories and, and talkthrough it.
So that's what today's about.
Let's get real, let's get realabout parenting.
It's hard.
It's real hard.
Um, and I'm gonna go through acouple lessons that I learned
this summer really.
And what we're, my wife and Iare going through, um, as the

(01:05):
boys get older.
'cause we just realized again,um, why it takes us long to
remember that.
But it, it did, uh, this will betheir last year together in
school until, um, high schoolwhere they only get a year left.
So let's go into it.
Why is parenting so hard?
I really never understood that.
Right.
I never understood why it was sodifficult for my mom to be
around and do these things.

(01:26):
And the, the more and the longerwe go and the older the boys
get.
The realization of, we all feellike we need to be perfect,
right?
One, we don't wanna be like ourparents, or we wanna be like
some of what our parents did,but we want only the good parts,
not the bad parts.
And then we end up with our ownbad parts.
Um, I know that's, that's inthere too.

(01:47):
Because we're figuring it out.
There is no book on it.
I, let me back up.
There's books on parenting.
You don't know what you'regetting into and get into it.
And I know all of you listeningthat are, parents can understand
that, but it's, it's like thatbattle, that battle of am I
doing what's right?
Are they, are we doing enough?
Are we doing too much?
Are we letting them be a kid orare we trying to develop them to

(02:08):
be a better adult?
Like all these jumbled messcomes into play and that's why
we have to take the time.
That when you do to recognizewhat's going on.
And so that's what we did.
Um, we had lunch today, niceIndian spot.
I love me some Indian food, andwe were just talking about how
the boys, where they're at now,memories not going to school

(02:31):
together anymore after thisyear.
And it's just like, holy shit,things go fast.
I know I've written and talkedabout this on a couple previous
episodes of just overallrecognizing the fact that you
only have 18 years or 18 summersand you.
The more you go through it, themore you recognize that and the,
the, the following and themessaging and engagement I've

(02:51):
gotten from that is amazingbecause everyone recognizes
that.
Like, Hey, let's do the memolist.
Let's go on the vacations.
Let's spend the money on the,the youth sports, which whew,
we'll get to because Whew.
Um, it's worth.
The numbers, what we're taughtto, to teach everyone from a
financial perspective isn't thatthough They'll go spending all
this money on the kids, put itinto retirement, so you have

(03:13):
your life, yada, yada, yada.
To this day, I have not met oneperson who has kids that at the
end of their life didn't tell mewhen I asked them.
Like, Hey, would you have spentmore time and money on your kids
or put more into work in myretirement?
And they all say the same thing,more into their kids, grandkids,
et cetera.
So think about that.
I know parenting's hard.
Some of you, a lot of, you'regoing it alone.

(03:35):
Just hang in there.
People are out there for you.
We're here to help.
But what's makes it even harder?
Is these youth sports?
Man, I, I know a post about itand I talk about it a lot.
Um, as some of you know, maybeyou don't know.
Um, that I coach both tackle andflag for our boys.
They're both in select soccer.
We have sports five well.

(03:57):
Technically could be seven daysa week.
Um, this fall, uh, I coach allday Sunday.
Right?
Um, I coach Tuesday throughFriday, but I was talking to the
other coaches the other daybecause this is our first year
tackle, right?
Fifth grade, which again spokenabout too many times.
But for all this Lincoln, it'shis first tackle season.
We were talking about how liketeaching them their stances and

(04:19):
cadence.
What a play is.
Formations, positions, how tocatch a ball, how to run a ball,
how to throw a ball.
All of these things that you doat this level that it's a lot
and we don't have enough time.
Right?
Three practices a week isn'tgonna, isn't gonna get it done
before the first game.
And our coaches we were talkingabout of like our focus is like
the development over the year.
At the end of the year, do theyunderstand formations,

(04:40):
positions, some concepts, etcetera?
Because our job is just to thenmove them into the sixth grade
where they can learn more andhave these building blocks.
And it's so funny because isn'tthat what we do as parents, but
we don't think about it thatway.
Right?
Our job as parents is obviouslyto keep'em alive to the best of
our abilities, but to get themto be.

(05:02):
An essential, amazing part ofsociety and great adults when
they are adults.
And I'm not, I don't mean 18'cause we all know at 18 what we
were doing more like 25, 26,right?
Let's be real.
But it's so funny how youthsports in parenting are so hand
in hand, but we think about themdifferently, right?

(05:23):
Sports are sports.
They'll, we push them hard, wedrive them.
They need to try things.
You know, rub some dirt on ittype situations.
But in parenting, we're alittle, we're different than
that.
And I, I, I dunno Why, why isthat?
We're not, I think we're toohard on our boys.
We recognize that this weekend.
Uh, with, with Lincoln, and, andwe'll be changing that so that

(05:43):
way we're not coaching from thesideline that we are cheering,
which is very, very difficultfor us to do because we played
at such a high level.
And if you're not playing theright position or not knowing
what you're doing, coachingstuff comes out.
I know.
I digress.
But as youth sports go, youthsports are an integral part of
any child's dream or any child'sdevelopment as an adult later in

(06:06):
life because of the lessons thatthey're learning.
Because we're not doing that asmuch as parents.
And the reason is we're notdoing as much as parents is
because we're flying around.
With our head, our heads cut offtrying to figure out how to
parent, how to an adult, how togo through our own trauma and
how to raise kids in a differentway than we were raised in a
different, um, society that'sout there with more of the

(06:29):
social media and, and our webs,et cetera.
And we're fighting all of that.
But that's okay.
But I think we all should takethat more philosophy of the
youth sports and going back tothe fundamentals, not teach'em
how to walk'cause they shouldn'tknow how to walk by now, but
them understanding the littlefundamentals of life.
And I know a lot of you're gonnasay, well, that's like, that's
when you're an adult.
They need to know that later.
Don't rob them of theirchildhood.

(06:50):
I don't think that's true.
I think if we're transparent andwe teach'em as much as we can,
it'll be in their fundamentalsand it'll be in their base of
who and what they are.
But they can still be fun andhave kid and be a kid.
But if we don't.
What are we doing?
Are we truly setting them up forsuccess or, or what?
So it's my episode of let's GetReal Little Spin than we've been
doing, but I just felt like theneed to come on and, and, and

(07:13):
discuss all of this.
So till next time, keep it real.